


Grateful for you

by Sarah_Wilde_32



Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Love, Melendaire, Passion, Power Couple, True Love, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:20:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 213,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25692712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah_Wilde_32/pseuds/Sarah_Wilde_32
Summary: One year after the earthquake, dr. Claire Brown is named Chief Resident. She is struggling with her new role in the hospital, afraid she will fail. The good thing is that she has someone who supports her unconditionally, Neil. Her brilliant boss and now boyfriend. Neil's almost death has made them realize that life is too short to be waiting for the right time that may never come. Therefore, they have fought for their love towards everything and everyone in the hospital since the earthquake, the time when they came clean about their feelings towards each other. Now they are stronger than ever.
Relationships: Claire Browne/Neil Melendez
Comments: 582
Kudos: 282





	1. You make my struggles go away

**Author's Note:**

> Dear reader, thank you for clicking on my story. I must say that season 3 finale really hit me hard because of the horrible death of Neil. That is why I started reading and now writing a Melendaire fanfiction. I don't want to believe in Neil's death and this is why in my story our brilliant, talented and utterly arrogant surgeon Dr. Neil Melendez is quite alive.
> 
> This story is mostly about Claire struggling with the start of her new position at the hospital as a Chief Resident. I have some ideas for the future to continue this story, but for now, this is it.  
> I just want to say that I don't have any knowledge about how hospitals work, so everything is only the fruit of my imagination. I have written this for fun and to share how I picture Neil's and Claire's relationship with you. I imagine them as a power couple at San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital – powerful, professional, hard-working, sweet, and supportive towards each other, and of course flirtatious and passionate about one another in each way. <3 
> 
> A special thank you goes to my dear friend Berra who proofread the text. She is very supportive of my writing and I couldn't be more grateful for her support and patience. 
> 
> Dear reader, I hope you will enjoy my story, and I would like to receive comments from you. They are very much appreciated and welcomed!

Woken up by an annoying alarm clock, Claire blindly searched the phone on the nightstand. She eventually managed to turn it off. Reaching on to the left side of the bed with her hand, she realized the bed was empty. Slowly opening her eyes, she remembered that Neil already had to leave an hour ago. He had a planned meeting for the big surgery that was coming up next week. She looked at the clock again and realized that she has to be in the hospital in less than two hours. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her nerves. Today was the big day. The first day of being a Chief Resident. She could barely believe it when she had got the news yesterday. She knew that she was working hard for it, but after everything that happened in the last year with her and Neil, she wasn't completely sure if the board will allow her as a Chief Resident. It was true that she and Neil came clean about their relationship immediately after he had recovered. Everybody knew about them from the moment they made it official, but it wasn't easy. Even though the people have accepted them as a couple, they were still under the microscope. She had a feeling that everyone was waiting for one of them to make a mistake or be unprofessional at work. It wasn't easy at all, but it was worth it. He was worth it. She couldn't imagine her life without him anymore. He was like the air she needed to breathe. Slowly getting out of bed to the kitchen, she couldn't help herself but smile. He had already prepared her all of the ingredients for breakfast before leaving. Stepping next to the kitchen counter, she saw a note:

_»Just in case we don't see each other before your meeting with new residents. Good luck today, not that you need it. You are going to be incredible. As always. Love you.«_

Her smile got even bigger. Neil was so attentive and sweet. She wished that he would be here so that she could hug him and kiss him. This would definitely calm her nerves that were getting out of control each minute. What was with her? She was working hard for the position of Chief Resident, and now that she got it, she feels insecure. It was a similar feeling as her first solo surgery. Why was she scared of this meeting with the new group of residents? She was a fifth-year resident and a talented one and now a Chief Resident for Christ's sake. She knew she had nothing to be afraid of, but the annoying feeling of insecurity just didn't want to go away.

She took a deep breath and started finishing her breakfast. Cooking and eating distracted her for a little bit, and after a good breakfast, she felt better. Having taken a shower, she went to the closet. After a year being together with Neil, she still found it funny and ridiculous that a man has to have a walk-in closet almost as big as the main bedroom. Well, Neil Melendez wasn't an ordinary man. He was one and only, and he was hers. She knew that today she has to look professional. Meeting new residents that she will be in charge with was not easy for her. She believed that the first impression of her is important. She chose a grey knee-length pencil skirt. Going through her blouses, she didn't like any of them. It made her even more frustrated.

She murmured "God, get yourself together, Claire. How hard it could be to choose what to wear." Standing dressed in a skirt and a bra, she wanted to call Neil for his opinion and then rolled her eyes. He definitely has more important things to do than choosing her outfit she thought, and at that moment her phone rang.

»Neil, thank God! I have a problem,« she said immediately after she answered the phone.«

»What's wrong? Did something happen?«

She could hear a real concern in his voice.

»I don't know what to wear today,« she said, frustrated. Suddenly she heard a laugh on the other side of the phone.

»C'mon Neil; I'm serious. I am standing in the closet in a skirt and a bra, and I can't decide which blouse to wear.«

»In a skirt and a bra? Now that's a view for my eyes.«

»Melendez, stop messing around with me and help me.«

She tried to say it in a severe tone, but she failed. She liked Neil's playfulness. It made her relax.

»I'm sorry babe, it's just … look, you will look great in anything you choose to wear.«

»Not helping.«

»Well, you could wear one of my shirts if you want to. I would like that,« he said, and she could hear his seductive tone in his voice that she loved so much.

»Neil, stop joking around. I'm going to be late because of a stupid blouse.«

»Ok babe. Just wear that yellow blouse that you like so much and those earrings I bought you for your birthday.«

»Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are a lifesaver.«

»Oh, and Claire …«

»What?«

»Since you are such a small and tiny bean, wear a hair bun.«

»Hilarious Neil,« she said, smiling while putting earrings in her ears. »I have to go, or I am going to be late. I want to come to the hospital a little bit early to prepare myself.«

»Ok. I called you to ask you if you could bring me my tablet. I forgot it on the table in the dining room, and I am completely lost without it.«

»You got it. See you at the hospital.«

»Ok, see you. Love you.«

»Love you too handsome.«

She quickly put on the blouse Neil chose and realized that the outfit is perfect. She felt professional, serious and also comfortable, which was also important. She actually listened to him and styled her hair into a messy hair bun.

When she came into the lobby of the hospital, she went immediately to the elevator. It was mid-July, and she definitely didn't need to be all sweaty coming up the stairs. She pressed the button and waited. When the elevator door opened, she saw dr. Andrews.

»Dr. Andrews,« she said politely.

»Dr. Brown. How is your morning?«

»Great, thank you. Yours?«

»Hot. This weather is literally killing me,« he said a little bit irritated.

»Nervous for the first meeting as Chief Resident?« he asked.

»No, just excited,« she lied and smiled at him.

She liked Dr. Andrews, and she loved working with him in the OR, she actually trusted him. He was of significant support to her and Neil when they fought with the board about her staying on Neil's service even though they were in a relationship. However, she still wouldn't admit to him that she was nervous. She couldn't allow herself to show her weaknesses to anyone, especially not attending doctors. The only person she felt safe to admit her real emotions and fears was Neil, and even that was complicated when it came to work because she didn't want to disappoint him. He was still her boss, her mentor. She looked up to him; she admired him for who he was as a surgeon. He was known as the best cardiothoracic surgeon in the country, and she has to be the best now more than ever as she is his girlfriend. She can't disappoint him. What would people think if they knew a meeting with new residents makes her nervous? They would think she is weak, and she couldn't allow that so she held her head up high before exiting the elevator.

Andrews looked after her with a smile on his face, actually feeling proud. Not nervous, he thought. Yeah, right. She wouldn't admit that she is nervous even if he tortured her. She was stubborn, always striving towards perfection, just like Neil always did. 

Claire went to the residents' lounge. She had twenty minutes before the meeting in the conference room. She took the tablet out of the bag and looked at her notes for the meeting. She also looked at the photos and names of the five new residents. She knew their names by heart already.

She suddenly heard the doors opening and looked up.

»Dr. Browne.«

»Dr. Melendez,« she said and smiled at him.

They still greeted each other with their formal titles at work. Not just in front of the others to look professional but also when they were alone. This greeting was just their thing. 

»You look ravishing,« he said and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over in confidence and a little smile on his lips.

Claire felt how her cheeks blushed. How could he still do that after a year of dating him was out of her knowledge. Just a compliment and his presence made her heart flutter.

»Are you nervous?« he asked seriously.

»Are you asking me this as my boss or my boyfriend … please say boyfriend,« she said before he could even answer.

»Boyfriend.«

»Yes, I am nervous.«

Neil stepped towards the table and took a seat himself.

»Why?«

Claire looked at him and took a deep breath.

»What if I don't know how to lead them? I mean, one thing is operating and talking to my patients, but leading a group of residents … what if I fail being an authority to them?«

»Claire, now I am going to answer you as your boss. You are the best resident I have ever worked with. Not just that you are a brilliant surgeon already, you are also the best communicator out of all of us. I mean, who do we always call when we have a stubborn patient that doesn't want to tell us something or doesn't want to do the surgery? We send you to do it. And you always win them over. Your communication skills are your advantage. Believe me, you have nothing to worry about. They are first-year residents. They are now waiting for you in that conference room scared and shittless like you were when you first got here. Remember? But now? You are a fifth-year resident, knocking solo surgeries out of the park and you think the first-year residents have something on you? Please ...«

Claire looked at Neil like in a trans. He really told her all of this in his boss mode. She couldn't help but smile.

»Thank you. This was exactly what I needed to hear,« she whispered to him and relaxed in her chair.

»You are a chief resident. Act like it,« he said to her with his confident and arrogant tone.

Claire looked at him with admiration in her eyes. She still couldn't believe that the man sitting in front of her loved her. If someone said to her in the first year of her residency that they will fall in love and be together, she would tell them they were crazy. It's unbelievable how life can change. Her thoughts made her go to her first day as a resident.

»You know, I remember when I first met you as my attending doctor. We were right here in the residents' lounge waiting for you. When you came into the room, there was this moment when we looked at you, and then the silence took over the space around us. I could feel the respect in the air that we all felt for you. You didn't even have to say or do anything to gain your authority. You had it with just your presence and stance. At that moment, I thought to myself ''God, I want to be like him one day.'' I know I have a long path towards your level of experience and that I am still just a resident, but I just wish that today I would have a little bit of your arrogance in me. I really don't want to be a soft touch today.«

Neil looked at her amused and surprised. It was her first time telling him this. He knew that her biggest fear was letting him down, and he didn't know where this fear came from. She could never let him down. He actually admired her because of her soft side. He was happy that she didn't pick up his arrogance while he mentored her because she was perfect the way she was. He looked at her and knew that her meeting is in five minutes.

»What?« she asked suddenly as she saw that Neil is looking at her absorbed in his thoughts.

»Nothing. It's just funny that you are afraid not to be able to show the first-year residents your dominant side since I saw it just last night.«

Claire felt the heat going up to her neck as he said that. Her heart started beating faster as she remembered the feeling of them making love last night.

»You're blushing again,« he whispered and smiled at her.

»Unbelievable, you are unbelievable …« she whispered and tried to collect herself.

»What? Did I say something wrong?«

Claire took a deep breath and thought to herself that two could play this game.

»Oh honey, you will see the dominant side of me again tonight if you don't stop messing with me.«

»And there it is—the dominant look in your eyes. Go get them, tiger,« he said, and she couldn't handle not to laugh at his words.

Claire got up, took her stuff and as she tried to go towards the door, Neil grabbed her by the wrist.

»Neil, I have to go.«

»Give me a kiss.«

»Dr. Melendez, we are at work. You know the rules. No PDA.«

»Your loss,« he said while shrugging his shoulders and opening up a medical book that was on the table pretending he is not interested anymore.

»God, you're arrogant,« she whispered and rolled her eyes.

»You have to go Dr. Browne, or you are going to be late for your meeting.«

»A chief can be late,« she said confidently and then stepped towards the door.

Neil couldn't help but smile. He thanked God every day that he brought Claire in his life.

When Claire stepped from the residents' lounge, Morgan appeared out of nowhere. She didn't stop because she was already late and she knew that Morgan would follow her.

»Dr. Browne.«

»Dr. Reznick.«

»So, you didn't get a good luck kiss from your boss boyfriend?«

»I don't need luck.«

»Whoa, look at you, Claire. Is this arrogance I hear? That's new. God, you are seriously becoming a female version of Melendez.«

»Thank you for the compliment,« Claire proudly said and smiled at her.

»But seriously, good luck. You are going to be great,« Morgan said and then went her way.

Claire smiled and thought about the fact that she and Morgan became friends. In the past, Morgan used comments like this to annoy her; now it was just two friends messing around and having fun. She thought people can change. Morgan definitely did.


	2. New residents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Claire is dealing with her meeting with the first-year residents, Neil has new struggles on the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, a big thank you to all the readers that read my 1st chapter. Thank you for your kind and supportive comments and kudos. I hope you will also love the 2nd one. There is a little less Neil and Claire time in this one (don't worry, you will still get your sweet Melendaire fix from this chapter 😉), but I just want to write a story with different characters and different point of views. I think that in this way the story will be richer and it will give you more material to dive in. 
> 
> In this chapter, you will meet five new first-year residents, two of them more than the other three. I hope you will like them.
> 
> Just for you to know, I won't use the storyline about Morgan and her rheumatoid arthritis from the series. I have never liked where her story was going in the series, because I have always thought (even though her bitchiness and competitiveness sometimes wrecked my nerves) that she is an amazing and fascinating character with huge talent as a surgeon. Therefore, in my story, she doesn't have this disease, and she is still pursuing her surgical career. 
> 
> My text was again proofread by my wonderful friend Berra. Thank you babe! 
> 
> Dear reader, I wish you a pleasant read. Your opinions in the comments are very welcomed. They motivate me to write more than you think. 
> 
> Sarah

_ Claire's meeting _

Walking down the hospital corridor, Claire was repeating Neil's words in her head. _You're a Chief Resident, act like it._ You've got this Claire. Neil, your perfect and strict boss, believes in you. Why wouldn't you? She thought to herself. When Claire got to the conference room door, she took a deep breath before opening it. Upon stepping into the room, she immediately heard the clatter of the chairs. She looked at the five residents that were now standing to greet her. Wow, she thought to herself. She wasn't expecting them standing up. It made her feel confident, and she felt how her body straightened itself even more.

»Please, sit down,« she said with a small smile on her lips. She put her tablet on the table and looked at them, her group of first-year residents. Two men and three women. Neil was right when he said that they are probably scared and shitless. They sure looked like it. One of the women didn't even make eye contact with her; the second one was nervously clicking the pen that she was holding in her hand, and the third one seemed annoyed with that since she was looking at the pen as if she wanted to snap it out of her hands and toss it through the window. The only ones who seemed more relaxed were two male residents. Even if they were nervous, they did a good job hiding it. They sat in their chairs, and it looked like they just waited for what is about to be thrown at them.

»Good morning, everyone. This is dr. Claire Browne, Chief Resident, speaking. Welcome to San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital. How's your morning going?«

»Didn't kill anyone yet,« she suddenly heard from her left and other four residents laughed.

She was grateful for this humorous comment because the atmosphere in the room loosened up a little bit.

»Henry White, right?« she addressed the man.

»Yes, Chief,« he said and got up to offer her his hand.

He was very bulk and tall, but then again, everyone was taller than her. His stance showed confidence, and the way he smiled at her showed that he wanted to make an impression. He reminded her of Morgan.

»Don't brag too fast. Morning isn't over yet,« she said, taking his hand, and that provoked another laugh from the others.

She looked at the other four residents and encouraged them to present themselves.

»I'm Jane Carter, and I am thrilled and honoured to be here,« said the woman who was annoyed before by the sound of the clicking pen. She seemed more relaxed now.

»Dr. Jane Carter,« Claire corrected her, and then looked at all of them.

»From now on, you will use your formal titles. You are doctors,« Claire explained. She could see how all of them perked up in confidence. Even though it wasn't her intention to boost their confidence with these words, she realized that was exactly what she did. No, not good Claire, too much confidence in them, shot them down, she thought.

»Don't let Your title go into your heads. Yes, you are doctors, but you still have a lot of work to do and a long way to go for being able to justify yourselves and being proud of your titles.«

Claire immediately felt terrible about what she had said as soon as she saw their smiles fading away in concern. Out of nowhere, Neil tiptoed into her thoughts. Arrogant like he was, he would definitely enjoy this concerned faces. Besides, he sure as hell wouldn't feel bad about it. She shouldn't either, because she was right. She remembered how proud she was when she finished medical school, thinking that she knew everything. That was until she started working at the hospital as a resident. Sometimes she felt like she hadn't learned anything in the years of studying. In the first year of her residency, there were a lot of moments in which she felt scared, not good enough and sometimes even incompetent. However, with years of practice, she overcame all of the obstacles. Thus, they also will if they are good enough.

When the other three residents presented themselves, she gave each of them a piece of paper and told them they have to write down their fears when it comes to doing their jobs as doctors.

_ Meanwhile in dr. Lim's office _

Neil was sitting in front of Audrey and dr. Glassman, feeling nervous and agitated. He absolutely hated situations and surgeries like this. Surgeries that came out of the blue were never a good idea if somebody had asked him.

»I don't understand why we are in such a hurry,« Neil started to argue, »we found out about this patient today, on Monday, and he wants the surgery on Thursday? Since when do patients decide about the time of their surgery? Not to mention that he is planning to get here just one day before the surgery. When are we even going to do the scans, a surgical plan and prepare him for the surgery?«

»Neil, this is the situation we are in. You worked under pressure like this many times. You can do it. The guy has anterior cruciate ligament injury of third grade. You have nothing to worry about,« Audrey said with the calm voice.

»You think I am worried about the procedure? I know I can do it. I could do it blindfolded. I just don't like the way we are handling it, and for what? Because this patient has money? I have patients on Thursday that waited for their surgery for months. Now I have to postpone them. God, every now and then we have to have some rich guy thinking he owns the world and people,« Neil sighed and shook his head irritatedly.

»Neil, the surgery is happening. The sooner you get over it, the better.«

Neil looked at dr. Glassman and hold back himself from rolling his eyes at him. Glassman was the president of the hospital. His word was the last one.

»Why do I have to do it?« he asked, looking at Glassman.

»The patient asked for you. He had read a lot about you and felt that you are the right surgeon to do this surgery. You should feel honoured.«

»Yes, I do feel very honoured,« he said … and stressed, he thought just to himself.

»Did you already think about my surgical team?« he asked and looked at Audrey.

»Yes, dr. Browne and dr. Williams.«

»Dr. Williams? Who is that?«

»She is a fourth-year resident. Her attending is dr. King and …«

»No, no, no. With all your respect, I have never worked with dr. Williams. If I have to do the surgery on a patient that I don't even know, not to mention I won't know the details of his injury until the day before the procedure, I want a team that I know well and that I trust. I want Browne and Reznick.«

Audrey looked at him and knew that this is the one thing he won't let go. She sighed in defeat and nodded in agreement.

»Fine, dr. Browne and dr. Reznick. Even so, I want dr. Reznick to be your first surgical assistant on this case and dr. Browne the second since she was your first assistant last week.«

»That's fine,« Neil agreed.

He knew that it is essential that everything on his team of residents was balanced. He and Claire definitely wouldn't want another favouritism complaint filed against them, and Audrey as Chief of Surgery always thought of that, and he was grateful to her for it.

»Ok, so everything is set and ready. Dr. Lim, page dr. Reznick and let her know that we will have a surgical meeting at 10 o'clock. Ask her to inform dr. Browne about it. Dr. Browne should also bring the new residents with her. The sooner they get the feeling of the changing rhythm in this place, the better,« dr. Glassman ordered and then left the room.

_ Claire's meeting (continuation) _

While she was waiting for residents to finish writing down their fears, there was a knock on the door. When the door opened, she saw Morgan sticking her head with her perfect blonde curls into the room.

»Dr. Browne, at 10 o'clock, we have an urgent surgical meeting with dr. Lim at the residents' lounge. You are expected to be there. She also said you should bring the new residents so that they can see a little bit of meeting action.«

Claire saw how residents looked at Morgan and then at her with fear in their eyes. Well, except Henry. You couldn't miss his excitement.

Claire saw Morgan's mischievous smile that suddenly appeared on her face.

»So, this is your kindergarten,« Morgan said and stepped closer to Claire, looking at the residents trying to figure out what they are doing.

»What are you doing?«

»They are writing down the fears they have when it comes to doing their job,« Claire explained.

»Can I write something down?«

Claire turned towards Morgan, looked at her with suspicion and then rolled her eyes at her.

»Of course, dr. Reznick,« she said politely with a little bit of sarcasm in her voice so that Morgan knew she knows that she is up to something.

Morgan took the paper, wrote down her fear, folded the paper and tossed it into the box that Claire prepared.

Claire noticed from the corner of her eyes how residents observed them with interest and waited what will happen next.

»You are already done?« Claire asked, looking at them. They all suddenly turned their gazes away from them and started writing again.

»Wow, such an obedient group of residents. Good for you dr. Browne. Then again, they know what is right for them. I wouldn't want to get on your bad side either since you can really be a dragon if you want to be.«

Claire looked at Morgan winking at her. She wanted to punch her in the face.

»Dr. Reznick, see you at the meeting.«

»Of course, Chief. I won't bother you anymore. See you.«

»Why do I have the feeling that the blonde one is more of a dragon kind?« Claire suddenly heard Jane whisper to Henry that shushed her.

»Are we done?« Claire asked, and they nodded. She collected their notes and put them into the box.

Claire discussed the first two fears and realized that the residents were very easy to talk to. They were very open, and she suddenly felt that the atmosphere in the room is calm and relaxed. She was sitting at the edge of the table, and then she put her hand into the box to choose another piece of paper. When she opened it up, she had to restrain herself from laughing out loud. The paper was Morgan's.

The note said: _My fear is that I would fall in love with my boss. LOL._

»We will skip this one,« she said with a smile on her face and shook her head.

She saw the curiosity in residents eyes, but they didn't ask what the fear Morgan wrote was.

After the discussion, she explained how hospitals work. She gave them their schedules for the next two weeks and warned them it might change every day. She told them who their attendings were and where they have to go in the morning.

»Ok, time goes very fast. In ten minutes, we have to go to the meeting dr. Reznick so politely invited us. I hope that everything is clear. If it isn't, feel free to ask me any time. I am always available through my pager, or you can find me in the residents' lounge when I am not in the operating room. On Fridays, I also have office hours, from 8 to 10 AM. So, are there any questions you would like to ask me before we go?« she encouraged them.

»How would you describe your experience working in this hospital? How do you see this hospital and the people whom you work with?« Jane asked.

»That's a good question. Hmm, let's see … You will find out soon enough for yourselves that not one day working in this hospital is the same. You have to act quick, but at the same time, be very thorough and focused. I think that is the hardest part at the beginning that everybody has trouble with. Sometimes you will feel like you don't belong, everybody is better than you. In some moments, maybe that will be even true, but you have to pull through. Always have in your head that you are working in one of the best hospitals in the country. This means you have to have in mind that you work with attendings that are the best surgeons in the country. They won't cuddle you; they won't listen to your winning. However, they will mentor you, help you and encourage you to be the best versions of yourselves. Moreover, always have in mind that if they believe in you, you should do too. I can just say that I can't imagine working anywhere else.«

She was surprised when they started clapping. She smiled at them and got up from the table.

»So, are you ready for the meeting?«

»Yes,« they said eagerly.

»Then let's go. We wouldn't want to be late.«

Walking through the hospital halls back to residents' lounge, Claire was curious what this urgent surgical meeting was all about. She knew it was out of the blue because otherwise, Neil would have told her about it when they talked this morning. Almost reaching the lounge, Claire saw through the glass walls that Neil and Morgan were there, dr. Lim and even dr. Glassman.

»Is that the president of the hospital?« she heard Jane whisper to Henry.

»Yes, that is dr. Glassman,« Claire answered her while looking back at them and then thought that this meeting has to be very important. Dr. Glassman usually wasn't present in meetings like this.

When they reached the door, Henry suddenly jumped in front of her and opened the door for her.

»Thank you,« she said politely and entered.

She immediately felt the tension in the room. She looked at Morgan with a questionable look in her eyes. Her colleague just shrug her shoulders, which told her that she also didn't know what was going on. She looked at Neil, who was sitting behind the table, and she couldn't miss his agitated mood. After greeting everybody, she stepped towards him and sat down next to him.

»What is going on? Are you ok?« she whispered to him.

»I'm fine,« he said seriously bouncing his leg under the table in anxiety, not really looking at her.

»Everybody, I know this meeting was called on a very short notice, but that is how it is. First of all, I want to welcome our new first-year residents. I am dr. Lim, Chief of Surgery, this is dr. Glassman, President of the hospital, behind the table, sits dr. Melendez, attending doctor, and you already met our senior residents, dr. Browne and dr. Reznick.

Claire saw how residents scanned all the faces, and she couldn't miss that their stares lingered on her and Neil. She guessed they had already known. Of course. If they spend just five minutes in the hospital cafeteria or nurses stations, they would hear all about them. She just hoped that they had heard good and true things and not made up rumours.

»The meeting is going to be short. I just want to inform you that on Thursday, we will do an operation on a patient that has anterior cruciate ligament injury of third grade. The operation is scheduled at 11 AM. Dr. Melendez is the lead surgeon. Dr. Reznick, you will be his first surgical assistant, dr. Browne, you are the second. Any questions?« dr. Lim asked.

»Yes, where are the scans?« Claire asked.

She heard how Neil quietly laughed next to her. Dr Lim looked at her irritated just like she was looking at Neil and Claire felt like a deer in front of the headlights.

»I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?« she asked, carefully looking at dr. Lim and dr. Glassman. »I just thought since you said that this was a surgical meeting that we will be working on a surgical plan.«

»No, dr. Browne, you didn't say anything wrong. All you need to know is that the patient is coming on Wednesday, and the operation is on Thursday,« explained dr. Lim and Claire didn't miss the irritation in her voice even though she tried to be polite.

»I am very sure that dr. Melendez will fill you in about all the details after work,« she cynically added and Claire felt the heat going up to her neck. This remark was unnecessary and humiliating. She saw how Neil's shoulders tensed up and how his jaw clenched.

»That's all. You are dismissed.«

Dr. Lim picked up her stuff and left the room with dr. Glassman.

»What the hell was that all about? And they say I am the bitchy one,« Morgan whispered.

Neil suddenly got up and went by the door faster than usual.

»Melendez, don't, let it go,« Claire suddenly said, trying to stop him even though the residents were still in the room observing them.

Neil stopped in front of the door and looked at her.

»Don't worry,« he said and gave her an assuring smile. Then he looked at the residents.

»Welcome to San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital. Dr. White, as I was informed, I am your attending. See you tomorrow. Make sure you are rested. You will assist me tomorrow in the OR. Gallbladder removal.«

Henry looked at him in awe.

»Yes, sir. Looking forward to it.«

Neil nodded and left the room, looking at Claire in assurance one more time.

Claire took a deep breath and thought that this is not how she imagined her day would go. She looked at the residents and smiled.

»You are done for today. Go home, rest and make sure that tomorrow you are on time. Tomorrow is the real start of your residency here.«

They got up and left the residents' lounge.

Morgan and Claire were sitting next to each other in silence until Morgan broke it.

»Maybe she is jealous.«

»Morgan, please, don't.«

»What? She is his ex. I tell you, she is jealous of you jumping his bones off.«

»Morgan, stop ok? She is not jealous. There is something else going on.«

Claire felt frustrated, angry and all of a sudden, worried. She knew that Neil went to speak with dr. Lim, and honestly, she didn't like that. She knew he wanted to protect her, but it could cause more damage than good.

The rest of her shift went by surprisingly peacefully in comparison to the morning. She and Neil had two surgeries together, and even though they didn't have time to talk to each other, she was just grateful that she could be in the operating room with him. For them, the operating room was like a bubble where they always felt peaceful and safe. Nobody bothered them, and there was no suspicious looks or negative comments.

It was the end of the shift, and Neil was sitting in his office, waiting for Claire to report him about their last patient. Looking through the window, he was thinking about the remark that Audrey made at the meeting. He always thought how unfair it is that everybody just waited for him and Claire to make a mistake at work, or be inappropriate somehow due to their relationship. However, when it comes to others, it was ok if they were inappropriate towards them. He was sick of it. They had been a couple for a year already. They weren't just a fling like everybody thought at the beginning. He loved Claire more than anything in this world. They didn't deserve such treatment, and even though Audrey apologized to him after the meeting and made up some stupid excuse for the words she said to Claire, he was still angry at her for having given that remark in the first place. Furthermore, he wasn't the one whom she needed to apologize to. It was Claire.

Suddenly he heard doors opening.

»I checked our patient, and he is doin…«

Claire's words were muffled with Neil's lips covering hers. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. She couldn't help a soft moan escaping her lips.

The way he looked at her, still holding her close, made her feel dizzy and her heart was full of idiotic happiness.

»You were saying …« he said in a low voice.

»I can't remember …« she whispered back looking at his lips thinking how she wanted another kiss.

Neil noticed Claire's longing look in her eyes and his lips curved into a small and satisfied smile.

»You were talking about a patient.«

»Oh yes, he is doing very well. Me, not so much. I think that there is something wrong with my legs. A guy just swept me off my feet, and they are jelly.«

»You are such a flirt,« Neil said, laughing.

»Look who's talking. By the way, since when are we kissing in your office while there are people in the corridor that can see right through this stupid glass walls?«

»Since today. I am done with walking on eggshells when it comes to our relationship. We have been nothing but professionals when it comes to our work. Honestly, over this last year, we are both better than ever. Do they want to talk about us? Let them. They talk anyway, whether we give them a reason for it or not. You are my girl, and if somebody has a problem with that, they can look the other way.«

Claire felt that Neil got tense again, and she almost regretted having asked him the question, but then again, she knew they had to talk about what happened in the morning. She also knew that dr. Lim's remark wasn't the only reason he was so agitated most of the day. In the past, they experienced rumours and heard comments about them that were way worse than what happened today with dr. Lim, and he had never been as upset as he was today. No, she knew there was something else, and she is determined to going to find out what.


	3. Neil's regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a hard day at work, Neil and Claire are finally able to go home where Neil reveals to her his regret that he has about a decision he made in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody. First of all, I want to thank you again for your support, comments, kudos and your subscriptions. I am very happy that you like my story. 😊
> 
> This chapter is all about Claire and Neil. The one thing I always loved about them is their heart to heart talks. I love how supportive they always are to one another, so I just wanted to write a chapter that would deepen this special bond between them.
> 
> I changed my ratings of this story to mature since you will also get to see a little bit of their spicy loving side. 😉 Nothing explicit, but I rather rate it as mature just in case since I don't exactly know my readers' age. 
> 
> Special thanks to my friend Berra that proofread the text. 🥰
> 
> Dear readers, enjoy the third chapter! You will make me very happy if you leave a comment after reading it. 😊 
> 
> Sarah

When Neil and Claire were leaving the hospital, it was already getting dark outside. They were on their way to the parking lot when they saw dr. Lim coming towards them. Neil felt how Claire started letting go of his hand, and he wasn't having it. He didn't let her let go of his hand, and instead of just holding her palm, he intertwined their fingers.

Dr. Lim reached them, and they could see it was uncomfortable for her. Neil just hoped that they wouldn't have another argument in the middle of the parking lot.

»Good thing that I caught you before heading home. Dr. Browne, I owe you an apology. What I said to you today at the meeting wasn't right. It was inappropriate and disrespectful. It's just, I have a lot on my plate right now, and I have taken my frustrations out on you. It won't happen again. I am really sorry.«

»Thank you«, Claire answered, and Neil could feel that she was uncomfortable by the way she was squeezing his hand.

»Amm, are you two up for a drink? I'm buying. I really feel bad about today, and I would like to make it up to you.«

»Thank you, but it was a long day, and we are just heading home. Maybe next time,« Neil answered, looking at Audrey, trying to play it cool.

»Yes, of course. I understand. Well, have a great evening.«

»You too,« Claire said and put on a little smile.

When Audrey walked away, Neil and Claire continued towards their cars hand in hand. They could both see and feel the tiredness on them. Some days really suck, but everything gets better when it is just them again, except today. Claire felt that Neil is dragging his concerns and struggles home with them, which he usually doesn't do.

»Will you ride with me? Tomorrow morning we are going to work together, you could just leave your car here tonight,« Neil suggested, and Claire agreed.

Upon reaching his car, Neil stepped in front of Claire and opened the door for her.

»My lady …« he said and smiled at her.

»Oh my God,« Claire said with a big smile on her face, »can you be even more of a romantic? You know I hate romantic gestures.«

»I don't buy it. Deep down, you adore my romantic side. I can see by the way you look at me, giving me heart eyes right now.«

»That is just an effect that your Tesla has over me,« Claire said and started getting to the car with a big grin on her face while Neil laughed out loud and closed the door.

»Tesla my ass, it's all me …« he whispered to himself with a satisfied smile and got into the car himself.

The ride home was quiet. Neither of them talked. The soft music was the only sound in the car. The silence between them wasn't bothering them. They often spend their time together in silence just enjoying the presence of each other. Especially after a tough day of work. It was soothing just to hear another person's breath next to them knowing they are not alone anymore like they were in the past.

Claire looked at the driver's seat and held her gaze on the man sitting next to her. God, she adored him. He made her heart beat faster just with his presence. The love that she felt for him; it consumed her to the point she found herself holding her breath. She never thought she was capable of feeling and giving so much love, and she couldn't imagine feeling this way towards anyone else. He was her person, a person she couldn't imagine her life without. She was sure of it.

Neil was aware of her gaze on him. She often does that, looking at him as if she forgot about everything else that surrounds her. He looked towards her and saw her beautiful green eyes looking at him. He wanted to know what was on her mind.

»What are you thinking about?« he asked her, looking back at the road.

»That I love you,« she whispered.

»Tell me something I don't know,« he said with a cocky grin on his face.

Claire laughed, relaxed back to the car seat and turned her gaze towards the road, looking at the city lights that were passing by.

»I love you too,« he suddenly whispered back, taking her hand towards his lips to kiss it.

When they finally arrived home, Claire threw her bag on the sofa and went to the kitchen counter to see what they could have for dinner while Neil went towards his whiskey corner. He took a glass and poured himself a fair amount of his favourite liquor. Claire watched him with concern as he swallowed the first sip. She knew that pouring a whiskey in a glass as the first thing you get home is never a good sign.

»You want a glass?« he asked her while turning towards her, holding his glass up.

»No, I don't like whiskey,« she said playfully, trying not to show her concern.

Neil went towards the sofa, and Claire could see how tired he looked. He sat down and sighed deeply. Claire noticed his sunken shoulders as if he had been defeated. She slowly moved towards him. She hugged him from behind the sofa and wrapped her arms around his chest.

»What is it that occupies your thoughts?« she whispered in his ear and gave him a gentle kiss on the neck.

»Nothing,« he whispered back, taking another sip of whiskey.

»You do realize that you are a terrible liar, right?«

»I'm actually a good liar. You are just too good at reading people.«

Claire smiled while loosening her grip around him. She went around the sofa and sat down next to him.

»Neil, talk to me. What happened today?«

»Nothing, Claire. Audrey's remark just really irritated me, that's all.«

»No, it's not. We've been through much worse when it comes to opinions and remarks of other people about us. There is something else that got you in this sulky mood. Just tell me what it is, and maybe you will feel better. You know you can tell me anything, right?«

Neil looked at Claire, deciding if he wanted to share with her what was bothering him. He didn't hesitate because he didn't want to share his thoughts with her, but because he didn't want to pass his frustrations to her. Maybe he should confide in her. This thing was something that always bothered him, something that crept into his mind many times over and over again. Today, it was again such a day, that he couldn't stop thinking about the decision he had made in the past. Maybe it would be easier to deal with it if he would just speak to her about it. He knew that she would find the right words to comfort him. She always finds the right words.

»Did I already told you today how beautiful you are?«

Claire rolled her eyes and gave him a serious look.

»I know what you're trying to do. It won't work on me. Don't try to change the subject.«

»I had to try at least,« he said and smiled at her, then looked in front of himself and took a deep breath.

»There is this decision I made in the past, and it is one of my biggest … well … regrets.«

Claire didn't say anything. Instead, she just gave him time to continue. She saw that he was trying to collect his thoughts.

»Do you remember when Audrey and I were both in the run for the position of Chief of Surgery?«

»Yes, of course. We were taking bets for the whole month about which one of you is going to get it,« Claire answered with a smile on her face.

Usually, her words would make Neil smile. However, this time, he stayed serious. At that moment, she got even more worried.

»Well, you know what happened then. Marcus kept the position for himself. When that didn't work out, dr. Han came as Chief of Surgery, and the competition between Audrey and me settled down.«

He fell silent again, and Claire could see how he was struggling to find the right words.

»Neil, since when is it so difficult to talk to me? I am getting really worried.«

»It's just … Audrey and I dated back then.«

»I know that. Is that the reason that it is so difficult for you to talk about this with me? Because it has to do with Audrey, your ex?«

»Yes.«

»Neil, we both have history. Believe me, when it comes to relationships, mine is probably worse than yours,« she tried to encourage him to speak on.

»As you know, Audrey and I kept our relationship a secret for quite some time. On the day we finally told about us, well … dr. Hun was fired, and at that moment, we knew that one of us is going to be offered to take the position of Chief of Surgery.«

»Does that bother you? That she was chosen for the position? Neil, it has been around two years since then. Why are you having trouble with this now?« Claire asked, not completely following what he was trying to tell her.

»She wasn't chosen, I was,« Neil whispered and again took a long sip of whiskey.

Claire's heart skipped a beat.

»What?« she whispered.

»When dr. Han was fired; I got a call from Marcus's assistant. She told me Marcus had chosen me for the position.«

»So how did Audrey get it?« Claire asked.

»I told Marcus that he should give the position to her.«

Claire couldn't believe what she was hearing.

»Audrey and I, we were always worried about how other people at work would see us as a couple. I think she was even more worried than me. That was the reason we were hiding our relationship. We were always so competitive towards each other. That didn't change when we started dating. I just didn't want one more race between us over the position. Somehow, I thought that if I just give her what she wanted so much, our relationship could have a better chance to survive. It turned out that I was wrong.«

Neil stopped talking, and silence again filled the room. Claire didn't know what to say. There were rare moments that she was speechless. This was one of them. He gave the position up because he wanted the relationship with Audrey to work. He did the most selfless thing he could at that moment because he wanted to make her happy, she thought.

»And as you know, just a few weeks later, she dumped me. At that moment, I realized that I lost everything. The position of Chief of Surgery and her … and just to be clear, I don't regret losing her. I mean, I did at the time, but not anymore. The breakup between Audrey and I actually kind of brought you in my life. You know, our runs back then, bowling, going to dinners … they were a therapy for me too. You said that I saved you, but you saved me too,« he whispered and took Claire's hand into his.

»You must think that I was so stupid to give up the position, right?«

Neil looked at Claire and faked a smile.

»No, you were not stupid. You loved her. When you gave the position to her, you chose her over the job you had always wanted. That was the most selfless decision that you could make.«

»Exactly!« he suddenly said, but now, there was anger in his voice.

»One time, one time I really had to be selfish, arrogant and full of myself. Showing off around with my big ego like I usually do … I wasn't. Because of that, I lost one thing that I had always dreamed of doing. It wasn't easy for me to gave the position up, but I did it. For her. So that she could dump me a few weeks later.«

Claire looked at Neil and took a deep breath. She took the glass out of his hand, put it on the table and straddled his lap. She felt how he relaxed into the sofa, putting his hands on her thighs. She cupped his face between her hands and looked at him.

»Neil Melendez, first of all, you are the most beautiful, heart-kinded, smart and caring man I know. Her dumping you is her loss. Second of all, like I already told you once, you are the most gifted surgeon I have ever worked with. One day you are going to be the Chief of Surgery. There is no doubt about it, and I am going to be there in the first row to see it, clapping in support, looking proud.«

Finally, she saw a sincere smile on his face.

»It's just, on days like today, I wish I had more power. Besides, as if this sudden surgery on Thursday wasn't enough, she made that remark to you at the meeting. God, I was so mad.«

»Let it go. Your time will come, and you are going to be better at it then she is. Also, forget about what she said. Others' opinions are not important. I just care about us, and we are in a very good place right now.«

»Yes, we are,« he whispered, looking at her lips.

She hugged him around his shoulders, pulling him closer to her, leaning down to kiss him.

»Mmm, maybe I will even become fond of whiskey,« she whispered against his lips, tasting the strong taste of the liquor on them.

Neil smiled against her lips and kissed her again. She leaned against him so that their chests were touching and continued with her sweet torture. He could never get tired of kissing her or her exploring his mouth and skin. Her lips were sometimes gentle and soft, other times demanding and aggressive. He liked her kisses either way. Maybe the demanding ones the most actually, because he could see the side of her that nobody else could. People knew her as a soft-touch and a gentle person. What they don't know is that she sometimes isn't so tender and soft, and he loves it. That is a side of her that was just for his eyes to see.

»Claire?«

»Hmm?«

Neil smiled when she hummed not breaking the kiss, and he gently pushed her away so he could see her.

»There was so much going on today that I forgot to ask you. I am curious how your meeting with the new residents went?«

»I think it went good actually. They are very talkative and nice,« she answered while her fingers were starting to unbutton the buttons on Neils's shirt.

He looked at her hands that worked through the buttons of his shirt and then at her face.

»Some more than others,« he whispered playfully with a grin on his face.

Claire's fingers stopped at the last button, and she looked at him.

»What do you mean?«

»Oh, come on, Claire. Dr. White opening the door for you.«

»You saw that?« she said and then laughed.

»Dr. Melendez, are you jealous?« she teased him.

»No, and by the way, he better stop kissing your ass if he knows what's good for him.«

Claire laughed once more.

»He just wanted to make an impression.«

»I bet he does,« Neil said with a smile on his lips, pulling the ribbons of the bow on her blouse.

»If I remember correctly, you threatened me this morning with showing me your dominant side tonight. Where is it?« Neil asked while his lips were leaving a path of kisses up and down on her neck.

Claire closed her eyes in pleasure and tilted her neck to give him better access.

»Dominant Claire is still hiding right now,« she whispered.

»Well, let's see what we can do about that,« Neil said with a naughty look in his eyes while standing up with her still in his lap to take them to their bedroom.

Claire wrapped her legs around his hips and smiled at him.

»Dr. Melendez, we should eat dinner first.«

»Dinner can wait.«

As they were moving towards the bedroom, there was suddenly a loud knock at their entrance door. Neil and Claire looked at each other in confusion. He let go of her and put her on the ground while buttoning his shirt. Knocking got louder, and it didn't stop.

»It's 10 PM. Who could it be?« Claire asked while mending her skirt and blouse.

»I don't know. Just wait here.«

Neil went towards the door and opened it. When he saw her on his porch, he didn't know exactly how to react because he was in shock seeing her in such a state.

»Oh God, what happened to you?«

»I need your help,« she whispered and then a cry shook her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read the third chapter! 😊 Let me know what you liked the most about it in the comments! 🤗❤️


	4. Hard times are easier with friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you do when you are scared for your safety, for your life? Where do you go? Who is going to be there to help you? After a knock on Neil's and Claire's entrance door, they know that their friend and co-worker needs them more than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dear readers! 
> 
> Thank you for following my story. Here it is. The 4th chapter. First of all, I want to warn you. This chapter includes mention of rape/attack. Nothing explicit. There is no description of actual rape, but there is a short description of a physical attack before the supposed rape. Therefore, if that is something that triggers you in any way or if it makes you feel uncomfortable, I am going to understand if you decide not to read it. It's just that I am going to build a medical case around it, so I couldn't leave it out.
> 
> On the other hand, this chapter will show unconditional support between friends and work colleagues, which I think is very important in our lives. To know that we have someone we can trust in hard times. 🤗
> 
> A special thank you goes to my friend Berra that proofread the text! ❤
> 
> I hope you will enjoy the chapter. 😊 Please let me know your thoughts in the comments! 
> 
> Sarah

She was running as fast as she could and realized that she never actually knew that her feet could move so quickly. She had a feeling that her lungs could not capture enough air so that she would be able to breathe normally. She was aware it was just a panic that was creeping into her body more and more with every second that passed, but that didn't help her to calm herself. She looked behind her and saw nothing but a dark empty street. He didn't follow her, she thought. She wanted to stop so badly. Her body was aching, her head was spinning, but she was too scared to stop. Safety, she thought, I have to get to safety. Finally seeing the building she intended to take refuge in, she started to run faster if that was even possible. Just a little bit more, you're almost there; she encouraged herself while the burn in her lungs tried to slow her down. As she ran along the parking lot of the building to which she was destined, she did not see their cars. What will she do if they are not home? As she ran through the entrance of the building, she did not stop when a security guard called for her. She ran up the stairs to the second floor when she finally found herself in front of their apartment. She started knocking on the door, hoping one of them would open it. When she heard the sound of a key turning in the lock and saw the door starting to open, she breathed a sigh of relief.

Neil looked at her in shock. She was wearing her running sports clothes. They were covered in dirt, and her shirt was ripped. Her hair was tied in a messy ponytail, but not just because of the running. It looked like as if someone had pulled her for it. She had a bleeding wound on her forehead. Her body was shaking while the tears ran down her cheeks.

»Oh God, what happened to you?« he asked with shock being written all over his face.

»I need your help,« she whispered, and then a cry shook her body.

Suddenly, she heard other footsteps running up the stairs and initially thought that he found her. She was relieved to see it was the security guy.

»Mr. Melendez, I'm sorry. I couldn't stop her. She ran passed me. I don't even know if she heard me calling after her.«

»It's ok, Jack. I've got this,« Neil said.

»Morgan, what happened to you?« Neil asked her again, looking at her with concern stepping towards her. He had a feeling that she will collapse to the ground at his doorstep at any moment, so he put his arm over her shoulders to give her some support and encouraged her to step inside.

»Morgan? Oh my God, what happened?« suddenly Claire came to the entrance door, looking at Morgan's appearance confused and worried.

»He … he attacked me,« Morgan uttered in a trembling voice.

»Who attacked you?« asked Neil, supporting her shaking body while they went towards the living room.

»I, I don't know. I didn't see him very well.«

»Come, sit, and try to calm down. You are safe now,« Neil said softly while gently pushing her on the sofa.

Morgan wrapped her arms around her body and took a deep breath to try to calm herself.

»Did this person rob you?« Claire quietly asked to obtain more information from her friend.

»No, he tried, he tried to … rape me,« Morgan whispered and again started crying.

»What?! What exactly happened?« Claire asked in shock and looked at Neil in horror.

After a few moments Morgan's crying and sobbing got calmer, she wiped tears from her eyes and explained what had happened.

»I went on a run. I was running three blocks from here, and suddenly he came out of nowhere. He grabbed me and hit me on the head. I fell to the ground, and everything around me started spinning. When he got on top of me, I tried to scream, but I couldn't find my voice. Then I felt and heard my shirt being torn. God, I was so scared and in such panic. Suddenly, I heard a car and saw the car lights out of the corner of my eye. He got distracted, and I don't know what happened at that moment, but my brain finally started working again, and I knew that's my chance to get away from him, so I kicked him … well, you know where … I got up as fast as I could and ran like hell. You were the closest I could go.«

Morgan again started crying.

»You're ok now. You are safe,« Claire whispered to her while pulling her into a hug.

»I'm calling the police. You have to report this,« Neil suddenly said seriously and took his phone.

»No, no police. I don't want to …«

»Morgan, you have to,« Neil insisted.

»No, I don't want to do it. I got away. Nothing happened.«

»Nothing happened?« Neil suddenly said, raising his voice more then he wanted to.

»A guy attacked you in the middle of the street, he hit your head and tried to rape you, and you say that nothing happened?«

»I just want to forget about it, ok?« Morgan said, raising her voice in frustration.

Claire looked at Neil shaking her head at him to let him know he shouldn't push her. He set the phone down on the table, put his hands on his hips, looking at Morgan in disapproval.

»Why where you running alone so late? These streets are not even enlightened.«

Morgan shot a look at him, and if looks could kill, Neil would be a dead man.

»Excuse me? Is it my fault now that a guy tried to rape me? Seriously?«

»I didn't say that …«

»You kind of did,« Morgan nearly yelled at him.

»What I wanted to say is that you should be running on public tracks, especially if you are alone. It's safer.«

»Or maybe guys shouldn't go raping women at all, don't you think?« she snapped at him again.

»Hey you two, we are on the same team here. Both of you, calm down,« Claire interfered to end their bickering.

»There is no time for arguing. You need to go to the hospital to get checked out,« Claire said to Morgan and rose from the sofa.

»I'm not going to the hospital. We are three surgeons in the room for Christ's sake. I think we know how to disinfect a scratch and stick a patch on it,« Morgan resisted. She gently touched the wound on her forehead with her fingers and hissed at the sudden pain.

»You may have a concussion given that you got hit in the head,« Claire said seriously.

»I'm fine.«

»That's what I said after the earthquake, and later I almost died,« Neil said with frustration but also worry in his voice, wondering how worried Claire must have been back then when he was stubborn and didn't want to go to the hospital for a checkup.

»I won't go to the hospital. I don't need everyone to see me like this. I don't want anyone to know.«

Neil sighed deeply in defeat.

»Fine, but then Claire will examine you and don't you even dare to oppose me,« he insisted.

Morgan looked at him in defeat. She knew that he wouldn't budge no matter how much she argues with him, and frankly, she didn't even have the energy to do it. She felt mentally and physically tired. Moreover, it was actually lovely to have someone that worries about her. Most of the time, she was just alone. Yes, her job made her feel complete and needed, but when it came to her personal life, she didn't have a lot of people that she could count on. Claire was actually the only friend that she could call in the middle of the night. Morgan knew she would help her no matter what, and given that Claire is together with Neil, he somehow also became a part of their friendship. Sure, they weren't always hanging out and partying like crazy together, since he was her boss, she did that just with Claire, thinking that girls need their alone time now and then, but she knew that she can always count on him when it came to important things.

»I need something to drink,« Morgan suddenly said, and Neil took that as a victory, given that she did not object to the examination with Claire.

»I will make you some tea,« Claire offered.

»Tea? Seriously Browne? I need something stronger than that. Boss, where is that famous whiskey you always talk about?« Morgan said and looked at Neil.

»You shouldn't drink. At least not until Claire examines you.«

»God, you sound like my father.«

Claire couldn't help to laugh.

»With you two, I am the one who's going to need a shot of whiskey. I don't know which one is more stubborn. C'mon Morgan, let's go to the guest bedroom so that I examine you and take care of this wound on your forehead, then you can take a bath.«

»Ok,« Morgan said, and suddenly she felt the weight of everything that happened to her.

»If you two need anything, I'm here,« Neil said after them while they were going towards the guest bedroom.

»Just prepare that whiskey boss, make it double,« Morgan said back at him, and Neil rolled his eyes.

While Morgan was undressing herself from dirty clothes, Claire went to grab first aid kit. Upon coming back to the room, she saw Morgan sitting on the edge of the bed in her underwear. Claire was relieved to see that the wound on Morgan's head was the nastiest. She saw a few more scratches on Morgan's body, but nothing serious. She took the penlight to assess Morgan's pupil response. She then measured her blood pressure.

»Claire, really … I am fine,« Morgan whispered when Claire gently encouraged her to stand up to get a better look at her body for any other injuries she might have missed.

»Ok, you were right. You don't have any severe injuries,« Claire said with relief and smiled gently at Morgan.

»I told you.«

»Morgan, I want to take photos of the wound on your forehead and the scratches on your back. Just in case if you decide to report it after.«

»I won't file a report.«

»Just let's do the photos. Now you are tired, and you want to forget about what happened, but what if tomorrow you change your mind?«

Morgan looked wearily at Claire, sighed deeply and nodded.

»Fine, take the damn photos.«

Claire took out her phone and took some shots.

»I will prepare you a bath now, and then we will take care of this wound on your forehead. I will have to use skin glue so we will do it after you wash yourself. You will have to avoid moisturizing the area of the wound for the next five days due to the glue,« Claire explained like if Morgan was just an ordinary patient.

»Browne, I know all of that,« Morgan said with a smile on her face, »and you don't have to prepare me a bath. It's too late for that. I will just take a shower.«

»Ok, as you wish. Here, I brought you one of my pyjamas.«

»Thank you.«

»Let me know if you need anything else. I'll be in the living room, and be careful with the wound on your forehead while you shower.«

Morgan nodded, and Claire could see that no matter how badly Morgan wanted to appear strong, she looked vulnerable, and deep down; she just wanted someone to take care of her.

»Claire?« Morgan said when she saw that her friend is leaving the room.

»Yes?«

»Is it ok for me to stay here? I don't want to intrude.«

»Morgan, please … don't be stupid. You are not intruding. Go take a shower now.«

»Ok,« Morgan whispered and headed towards the bathroom, which was part of her guest room.

Claire left the room. She found Neil sitting on the sofa and sat down next to him while taking a deep breath.

»How is she?«

»She's going to be fine. The wound on her forehead is actually the biggest. I took some photos of her injuries, and I also put her clothes in the bag just in case if she decides to go to the police. Photos and clothes are evidence.«

»Good. I really hope she decides to report it.«

»Me too, but I think that it's best if we just leave her alone with that for tonight. She's been through enough.«

»Yes, I agree,« Neil said.

»God, I am suddenly so tired, and then tomorrow I am in the ER the whole day. I just know it is going to be a madhouse.«

»Hmm, maybe you should ask your boss to change your schedule.«

Claire smiled at his remark and rolled her eyes.

»I know my boss, and I can say that he would disagree. He is very strict and unyielding.«

»He sounds terrible,« Neil whispered with a little self-satisfied smile on his face.

Claire looked at him and smiled back.

»On the contrary, I think he is wonderful. He always encourages me and helps me to be better at my job, even if sometimes he knows it's hard for me.«

Neil looked at Claire, and his gaze became tender and sweet. He slowly reached towards her face, brushed a strand of her soft curls from her face, and stroked her cheek.

»Who is this guy that you speak so highly of? I am going to get jealous,« he whispered with a smile on his lips.

Claire smiled back at him and gently rested her head against his hand, which was still caressing her cheek.

»You know what I want right now?« Claire asked him, and Neil looked at her with curiosity in his eyes.

»I want to pack our suitcases and drive away with you.«

»That would be nice. Where would we go?«

»I don't know, and somehow it doesn't really matter. We could just drive and improvise as we go,« Claire said with dreamy voice resting her head on Neil's shoulder, enjoying the feeling of his arm holding her close to him.

»I would love that,« Neil whispered and stroked her hair.

Morgan stood quietly between the doors of the guest bedroom and listened to the conversation between Neil and Claire. It wasn't her intention to eavesdrop, but the conversation caught her attention. Not because of the content, but mostly because of the way they talked. She could hear the affection they felt for each other. Morgan strolled towards the living room. She stopped at the kitchen counter and looked at the couple in front of her. She rarely saw them like this. If she thought well about it, she never really saw them so relaxed and loving until now. At work, they never let their guard down; they were always careful about how they acted in front of other people. People that knew about them maybe noticed a loving or playful exchange of gazes between them, but that was it. Thinking about it, she never even saw them kiss. It was true that sometimes all three of them had a drink together, that they were hanging out now and then, but she could always feel that they are never entirely relaxed when other people are around them, especially if those people are their co-workers. Then again, who could have blamed them? Furthermore, she was probably the last person in the world next to whom they could feel comfortable. She will always regret filing that stupid favouritism complaint against them. As she watched them embraced on the sofa, she thought how hard it must be for them at work. Hiding all these emotions. She knew that it was hard for Claire because they talked about it. For Claire, it was the hardest when she made a mistake or wasn't at her best, because Neil was always very blunt about it. He didn't cuddle her when it came to her work. If she messed up, he told her that without hesitation. At the beginning of their relationship, she was struggling with that a lot, because she always took his critic as his girlfriend and not just as his resident. That was a big problem. Later, she figured out that her being his girlfriend and his resident are two different people, two different roles that she had, and that she has to draw a line between their personal and professional lives. When she figured that out, everything got easier. Also for Neil, it probably wasn't easy to be objective about Claire's work, but he always was. Suddenly she felt even more respect for both of them. They really made it work, and that made her smile because they deserved to be happy—both of them.

»Khm, sorry to bother you. I just wanted to say goodnight,« Morgan said, feeling uncomfortable to disturb them.

»I still have to take care of your wound,« Claire suddenly said while jumping up from the sofa.

»I can do that myself; it's not a problem.«

»Not a chance. I am doing it,« Claire insisted and encouraged Morgan to sit down on the kitchen chair.

Claire took care of the wound with a great deal of caution and precision. More than it was needed, Morgan thought, but she was grateful for it.

»Here you go. That's it. You have to keep it dry for at least the next five days.«

»I understand, dr. Browne. Can I go to bed now?«

»Yes, you may,« Claire answered.

»What about that double whiskey you wanted before? Not interested anymore?« Neil suddenly asked with a grin on his face, and Morgan knew he is teasing her.

»Another time, boss. Right now, I just want to go to sleep. So should you two. It's late, and I already took enough of your time.«

»Let's go. I'll accompany you to your room,« Claire offered.

»Awww, are you also going to tuck me into bed?«

Neil started laughing and got up from the sofa.

»I am going to bed, and Claire, hurry up. I need you to tuck me into bed too,« he said with a laugh and headed for their bedroom.

Morgan waited for Neil to disappear from their sight and looked at Claire with a naughty smile on her face.

»When he said you have to tuck him into bed … is that some kind of a code … you know … for having sex, because I can totally leave if you ...«

»Morgan, shut up,« Claire suddenly said, cutting her off.

»Fine, if you don't want to share the smut, you don't have too,« Morgan said jokingly and raised her hands in front of her in defense.

»There's nothing to share,« Claire lied trying to hide a smile and walked past Morgan toward the bedroom, knowing Morgan would follow her.

»Liar! You are such a liar!« Morgan laughed.

»C'mon Morgan, give me a break,« Claire said more relaxed when they both sat down on the bed, »I'm just not comfortable sharing the smut about him with you.«

»Uuuu, so there is something to share …« Morgan said and playfully hit her with her elbow.

»Let's get you into bed,« Claire said, and Morgan saw her fatigue.

Morgan got herself under the bed covers, and Claire covered her.

»Are you going to be ok?« she asked gently, and Morgan got serious.

»I'm ok now. Don't worry. Thank you for letting me stay here. It helps that I am not alone in my apartment.«

»Of course. Sleep tight,« Claire wished her, and as she tried to get up from the bed, Morgan grabbed her hand.

»I know I tease you a lot when it comes to Neil, but … I want you to know that I am really happy for you. Both of you. Moreover, I know that maybe you still don't trust me, but if you ever want to talk with me about anything, it doesn't matter about what … serious things, smut … whatever, you can. I would never betray you again; you know that, right?«

Claire looked at Morgan and gave her a sincere smile.

»I know that Morgan. It's just that I don't feel comfortable sharing things about my relationship with Neil with my co-workers; it doesn't matter who it is. Don't take it personally.«

»When I saw you in an embrace before, it was … well, lovely to see that. I also realized that I have never even seen you kiss each other, which is kind of weird since you are dating for a year already.«

»Well, maybe you will catch us one day in the on-call room making out, and then your curiosity will be satisfied.«

Morgan felt silent.

»Are you serious right now? Are you two making out in the on-call room?«

»No, we don't. Do you think we are that stupid and reckless? I am just teasing you,« Claire said, laughing.

»You're so bad.«

»Me? Reznick, I have nothing on you,« Claire said, and Morgan smiled.

»Good night, Claire.«

»Good night.«

Claire left Morgan's room and went to the window in the living room, looking at the lights that were illuminating the city. She was tired, so tired. Morgan came just two hours ago, but she felt like everything happened a few days ago. Claire thought about what Neil told her before Morgan came. She still couldn't quite believe it. Taking a deep breath, she turned and went to the bathroom, quickly showered, and then climbed into bed. Neil was already sound asleep. She hugged him gently, laid her head on his chest, and felt his arm around her back squeezing her closer to him. She closed her eyes and drifted into deserved sleep while listening to Neil's heartbeat.

Morgan, on the other hand, couldn't sleep. She was laying on her back and stared at the ceiling, thinking about what had almost happened to her. She felt sick to her stomach at the thought of what might have happened if she had not escaped. It's over Morgan; you're ok. She tried to tell herself to calm herself down. Little did she know, that this thing that happened to her today, was far from over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read the 4th chapter. 🤗 Please let me know in the comment section what you liked the most about it. ❤️


	5. The most beautiful night to remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the summary of this chapter be a surprise. 😉

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear readers, 
> 
> I want to dedicate this chapter to every single one of you who are taking the time to read my story but especially to those readers who always leave a comment and a nice word for me in the comment section. Your comments mean a lot to me. They inspire me and give me the energy to write more. ❤️
> 
> I must say that this chapter is very special to me. I found it very easy to write; the idea and words that brought my approach to life were just coming with such ease. I actually had a completely different idea in my mind at first, but when I started typing, the story went in a completely other direction. In this chapter, you will see that I changed the way Neil and Claire admitted their love for each other. When it happened in the season 3 finale, it was bittersweet and sad. Even though we are happy they said it, I wanted to write a scene of them confessing their love for each other without death hanging over them. I really hope you will like the chapter as much as I do. I also think that this chapter shows a beautiful and unique relationship between two lovers on both emotional and physical level. Yes, with this chapter things are going to get hotter. 😉❤️🔥👩❤️💋👨
> 
> Berra, thank you for always taking the time to proofread my chapters. ❤️
> 
> Enjoy! 🤗
> 
> Sarah

Neil woke up before his alarm clock went off. Opening his eyes, he wished he could sleep a few more hours. He was tired. Five hours of sleep wasn't enough. He tried to fall back into slumber since he had half an hour until he had to get up, but he couldn't. He was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. His thoughts were wandering from last night's conversation with Claire, the fact that he admitted to her what he did and then to what happened to Morgan. God … Morgan, he thought. Last night she just brushed off what happened to her, and he was afraid that today when her adrenaline drops, she would realize the seriousness of what she went through. He decided that he will talk to her and suggest her to have a conversation with a therapist about what happened. He took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes with his hands. Looking at the clock, he realized that it's almost time to get up.

He turned to the right side of the bed and smiled to himself. Claire was still sound asleep. He liked to watch her during sleep. Her gentle face, against which her soft curls playfully fluttered, looked carefree, peaceful. The sight of her made him relax.

Looking at her, he remembered their first night together, the feeling when she became his. At that moment, he knew that he could never let her go. He did not close his eyes that night afraid he would wake up in the morning and find out that everything that had happened between them was just a dream. He spent that night watching her sleep and thinking about them, what they were to each other, everything that they could be in the future. Those thoughts scared him. He loved her. He fell for her like an idiot, and the funny thing was that he didn't even realize when it happened. He just knew that all of a sudden, he began to notice things about her that he didn't see before, things that before he had not paid attention to. Her eyes have suddenly become the most beautiful eyes that he has ever seen, the way they sparkled when she talked about something that was important to her or something that made her happy, made him feel like he is drowning in them, he could not look away. The way she looked at him, it was hypnotic. He noticed how she did her hair differently every day. One afternoon, as they were both sitting in the residents' lounge, studying a medical case, she played with a strand of her hair, wrapping it around her finger. The only thing he was thinking about at that moment was how he wanted to touch her hair, inhale the scent of her perfume on them. Such thoughts confused him. He knew they were inappropriate. At first, he tried to suppress his feelings, but things got harder when he got the feeling that she wasn't indifferent to him either. It all started to escalate that night when he told her she made him a better surgeon, a better person. The moment the words came out of his mouth, the silence took over the room. He knew he had crossed the line. He had a feeling that he surprised her with what he had said as she went numb, said an awkward goodbye, and left his office. Idiot, you're such an idiot, what did you expect? That she will fall into your arms? He told himself when he realized what he did. He was worried about how she will act the next time they see each other. Will she avoid him? Well, when that earthquake hit, and he found himself on what he was almost sure it was a death bed, he realized how stupid he was. Stupid that he didn't tell her how he truly feels about her. He thought he has a whole life ahead of him, but suddenly he realized that may not be true. When Audrey and Claire came to his room with a surgery plan that might work for his condition, he swore to himself that if he survives, he will tell her how he feels about her. He will never forget the feeling of relief waking up after the surgery seeing Claire sitting in a chair next to his hospital bed, sleeping with a book in her lap. She did not leave him. She was beside him every step of the way. The first thing he remembered when he woke up was the promise he made to himself. He kept that promise. He told her he loved her three days later. It was late that day. It was already dark outside, and the only person on their floor next to them was a nurse. They were on the balcony leading from his office because he wanted to get some fresh air. That balcony was always their safe place. A place where they talked to each other and confided their fears and doubts to one another. He was still weak, sitting in a wheelchair. Claire was leaning against the balcony railing, looking at the city lights in front of them. She looked lost in her thoughts. Those three words came out of his mouth unexpectedly as if he had no will at all to keep them for himself. As his three words echoed through the night, he saw how her shoulders got tense, and for a moment he thought he had made a mistake, again. Until she looked at him with eyes full of tears and a gentle smile on her face. Claire stepped towards him, leaned down and hugged him tightly. It was high time you told me, she whispered in his ear. He closed his eyes in relief and wrapped his arms around her back. He didn't know how long they had been hugging. All he knew was that he could finally smell the sweet smell of her hair, finally, be able to have her in his arms. As she gently pulled away, she cupped his face with her hands and looked into his eyes. I love you too, she said and leaned her forehead against his. That was it. There was no way back. They said it. In the next few days, they talked about how to handle their relationship. Neil didn't want to keep it a secret. He learned with Audrey that secrecy is never a good choice, and he wanted to make things right with Claire. They decided that they will go to the board as soon as Neil is discharged from the hospital. That is exactly what they did. Of course, they received critical looks when they said they were together. Then came Claire's fight to stay on his service. What made everything more complicated was the favouritism complaint that Morgan filled just a few weeks ago. However, they did not relent. When Marcus and Audrey stepped on their side, the board finally gave in. The board said they would be under constant supervision. That was it. That's how their story began. They both agreed to take things slow to do it right, so they just continued with everything that they did before, except now they were free, knowing each other's feelings. He was finally able to hold her by the hand or place his hand on the small of her back when they were leaving the restaurant. Neil was still recovering from surgery for weeks, and Claire was by his side, supporting him and helping him to get through tough times when he was missing work and felt like he was just sitting around aimlessly, doing nothing. With her help, he recovered completely, and after a few weeks, he was his old self again.

Now, lying in his bed, looking at her, remembering all of this, remembering their very first night together, he was happy. That night was the most beautiful night he could remember.

_»You know, I am worried about tomorrow,« Claire said and stared at the glass of wine on the table._

_»Why?« he asked, slicing a piece of steak and hinting to the waiter to bring another bottle of wine._

_»It's just … it's you're first day back. The first day for us working together as a couple. You know, people think they are so good at hiding their nosy looks. They are staring at me as if I am a wonder of the world,« Claire said and took another sip of her wine._

_»Oh, you are babe,« Neil said, smiling at her and she couldn't help but smile back at him, blushing._

_»I love that,« he whispered and locked his eyes on hers._

_»What?«_

_»You blushing at a simple compliment.«_

_»Stop it. I can't help it,« she said shyly._

_Neil leaned closer to her over the table with a confident grin on his face._

_»You know, I'm curious. If I can make you blush with just a few innocent words, I wonder what other things I am capable of doing to you,« he whispered, and Claire's heart stopped for a second and then started beating at high speed._

_The way he said that, so calmed and controlled, it was nerve-wracking for her. How could he be so composed while her body was already responding to just a thought of what he had in mind? What did he have in mind? She was curious now. Neil Melendez. She still couldn't believe he loved her, that he wanted her. Looking at his sparkly brown eyes that were at that moment, holding a promise of something that she couldn't quite get a grasp on, her thoughts started to spiral. The tension between them, which she could only describe as sexual, grew with every second as they stared at each other. Her eyes lingered on his lips, and she saw his hand stretching towards hers that was on the side of the table, feeling his fingers gently touching hers. She felt the touch of his fingers as if electricity were passing through her body. Her eyes looked at him again._

_»Breath,« he whispered with a satisfied smile, and then suddenly, their moment was over because the waiter brought a bottle of wine that Neil ordered._

_They both leaned back in their chairs, and only at that moment she realized how close to each other they were just a second ago. While the waiter poured them some wine, she was looking at Neil that had a satisfied smirk on his face. Hot bastard, he knew exactly what he was doing to her, she thought and smiled back at him. Oh, darling, if only you knew I don't just have the shy side in me, she thought to herself. They finished their dinner and didn't talk much anymore. They just enjoyed the company of each other, exchanging glances knowing that the night is somehow different. It was like there was some kind of promise in the air between them. Like they both knew, even without saying it, that this night is the night. They weren't wrong. Leaving the restaurant, Neil opened the door for Claire. As they were on the sidewalk, going towards Neil's car, Claire suddenly stepped in front of him crashing her lips with his, finally being able to release some of the tension that was piling up in her body the whole evening. When she broke the kiss, she leaned her forehead against his, trying to calm her breathing, and with that her heart, that was pounding like it wanted to jump out of her chest._

_»I want you, tonight,« she whispered against his lips, and when she felt he is again leaning in to kiss her one more time she quickly moved away from him and started walking towards his car that was just a few steps away. Neil just stood in place, amazed and watched how lightly she walked away from him. At that moment, he realized that she started playing his game; she was teasing him._

_»You're coming?« she said to him calmly already standing against his car, seeing that he still didn't move from the spot she left him._

_»Amm, yes, yes … let's go,« he said awkwardly, and Claire smiled at her victory. Not so arrogant and confident anymore, she thought to herself._

_The car ride was quiet. She was getting nervous more and more every minute that brought them closer to Neil's apartment. She imagined this moment millions of times in the past few weeks since they were together. They didn't want to rush things; they decided that going slow was the right thing to do. Not just because of Neil's recovery, but also not to mess things up. They wanted to see how they feel around each other when they know there are no limits between them anymore, knowing they love each other, and they are free to do whatever they want. She used man in the past; she used sex to feel better about herself. She didn't want that with Neil. She loved him. She wanted to be completely sure about them. She wished that sex with him would be more than just sleeping with someone because it feels good. She wanted the connection, to feel like she belongs to him and only him. There were many moments between them in the past few weeks when it got to the point when she thought she could just give in and let that the hot make-out session between them would lead to more, but somehow it didn't happen. Every time her thoughts started to spiral, she stopped them. It was frustrating for her. She was annoyed with her fear inside of her, which prevented her from surrendering herself to him completely, but Neil didn't push her; he was patient and understanding. After some time, she admitted to him why she was afraid. Afraid that if she sleeps with him, it will be the end of it like it was with others in the past. The talk they had back then calmed her down. He repeated a million times that night how much he loves her and that there is no way that he would leave her. Since that night, five weeks have passed already. Maybe that was the reason they were both so excited to give in and be with each other finally. They waited a long time for this._

_Neil was looking at the road, and his heart was beating fast. He noticed Claire's hand nervously squeezing the fabric of her dress. He gently put his palm on her hand to calm her down._

_»Claire, we can wait if you're not ready,« he said and looked with her with a reassuring smile._

_»No, I'm ready, it's fine. I am just … nervous. God, I feel like a teenager all over again. I feel so stupid,« she said and smiled at him._

_»You're not stupid, just … excited. I am too,« he said to her, letting her know that she isn't alone with her feelings._

_Going up the stairs to his apartment, Neil held her small hand in his and had a feeling that his heart would fall out of his chest. Claire was standing behind him and waited while he unlocked the door. He had not yet fully opened them when she pushed him into the apartment, grabbed the collar of his coat and pulled him towards her. She kissed him more times than she could count until this moment, but now it was different. Something was different. At that moment she was sure of it. Sure that it was the right time to be with him finally. She loves him, he loves her, she thought to herself. Suddenly everything became simple for her._

_»Claire, the door,« he whispered between her hungry kisses._

_Claire still held him by his collar and pushed him back, closing the door with his back. While she was pushing the coat off his shoulders, torturing him with her sweet kisses, Neil had a feeling that his body was on fire. Every single piece of clothing he wore suddenly felt uncomfortable for him._

_»Bedroom, now,« he whispered and started to move never breaking the kiss between them._

_Neil reached for the zipper on Claire's dress and slowly unzipped it. Then he pulled the dress from her shoulders so that it fell to the floor. Reaching the bedroom, they were both in just their underwear. Claire had the feeling that the air in the room had become heavy, thick. Her head was spinning pleasantly as if she was drunk. That's what his presence did to her. He was like a drug, and now she will finally get her fix._ _She took a step back and looked at him. He was perfect in every way, and he was hers. As he wanted to take a step towards her, she put her hands against his chest and pushed him back. Neil was surprised by her move, lost his balance and fell on the bed with a surprised but enthusiastic look. She straddled his hips, and Neil propped his elbows on the bed, looking at her like a goddess she was. She leaned down to his chest and left a trail of kisses on his tattoo. As a sign of surrender, he fell with his back against the bed, closed his eyes, and indulged in the feelings that Claire made him feel. He felt alive more than ever. His hand roamed all over her body, and when he wanted to cup her face, she gently took him by his wrists, pushed his hands against the mattress and looked at him with a smile on her face. Neil smiled back at her._

_»God, who are you and what did you do to my sweet and innocent Claire?« he whispered, his eyes looking up and down her body, his lips smiling in a way that took Claire's breath away. She always thought he had the most beautiful and sweet smile._

_»What is it? Are you afraid you're not going to be able to handle me?« she teased him._

_»Are you challenging me?« he said with a husky voice, and she didn't know when or how it happened, but suddenly she was the one pinned down to the mattress with his body above her._

_»You really are a wonder of the world, you know that?« he whispered gently touching her soft lower lip with his thumb._

_That night there was not a spot on her body that was not touched by his lips. The feeling when they surrendered themselves to each other for the first time will have a special place in her heart forever. It was nothing like she ever experienced before. She never knew that sex could feel so good. It wasn't just two bodies connecting on a physical level; it was so much more. While they made love, she was holding onto him like her life was connected to his body, afraid that if she lets go of him, she will turn into little pieces or just disappear into thin air. He made her feel wanted, special, alive, loved. Loved, that was the most important thing for her. She always needed to feel loved. No matter how close he was to her that night or how deep his thrusts were, she had a feeling that she doesn't have him close enough. He made her lose her mind so that the only word that she could remember was his name, which she cried out in pleasure several times through the night._

He remembered everything about their first night together like it was yesterday. He let out a chuckle while thinking about that night.

»What are you smiling and grinning about at 5.30 in the morning?« Claire whispered sleepily while she began to stretch her body while waking up.

»I am just an idiot in love,« he whispered and Claire curled herself next to him.

»Yea? Who is the lucky girl?« she whispered against his lips and lovingly rubbed her nose against his.

Neil watched her face, the long lashes that adorned her still closed eyes, and he couldn't help himself. His lips found hers, and he rolled onto her. When she returned the kiss and murmured contentedly, his hand slid down her thigh and wrapped it around his hips. Her hand tangled in his hair at the nape of his neck, gently pulling them, and he felt the kiss was becoming more and more demanding. He pulled away so that he could see her.

»I love you so much that it hurts. You know that, right?« he whispered.

A satisfied smile sat on her face, a copy of his arrogant one, that he gave her so many times when she told him she loved him.

»You better,« she whispered and pulled him back to her, leaving kisses on his cheek and neck, trying to push down his pants with her hand, feeling his hand pushing her nightgown higher.

Suddenly she heard a noise in the kitchen and remembered everything that happened last night. She completely forgot that they were not alone in the apartment.

»Shit, Morgan's here,« she said, pushing Neil away from her on his side of the bed and Neil started laughing.

»And that is stopping you?« he said jokingly.

»Not funny,« Claire said but couldn't stop her lips from smiling.

»God, I thought I am going to get lucky,« Neil said with playful disappointment, looking at Claire with puppy-eyes.

»Next time,« Claire said with a promising smile on her face and went to the bathroom to shower, and Neil followed her.

They often showered together. It was like a ritual that relaxed them, woke them up completely and prepared them for a new day. However, today no amount of water could make her feel rested and wholly woken up. Claire was tired, and when she looked at Neil, she could see eye bags under his eyes as well.

»We would need more sleep,« she whispered while he put some hair shampoo in his palm and gently turned her around and started washing her hair.

»Yes, we would. Let's just hope that today is going to be easier than yesterday.«

Claire closed her eyes and concentrated on the feeling of Neil's hands, massaging her head.

»Did I already told you that you have very talented hands?« she whispered and Neil smiled, pouring water on her head to wash off the shampoo.

»Yes, many times actually and in very different situations,« he whispered.

Claire turned around and crossed her hands behind his neck.

»Neil, you are so bad. You just love it, when you can tease me, don't you?«

»Yes, very much.«

»What is it that you were thinking off this morning? It must have been happy thoughts since it made you laugh out loud at 5.30.«

»I just … I remembered the first night we were together,« he whispered and travelled gently with her fingers down her back.

»That was a beautiful and unforgettable night,« Claire whispered and closed her eyes as she tried to relive the feelings of that night.

»You know, that night, when I slept with you … for me, it felt like it was my very first time all over again. It was strange. I felt like nobody before you even mattered, like they didn't exist. I felt so vulnerable because of it, but when we finally did it, I knew you were the one. I couldn't imagine anymore to be with anyone else.«

Neil looked at her, reaching for a towel, gently wrapping her in it and then pulling her close.

»I love you too,« he whispered and kissed her on the forehead.

He cherished moments like this more than he could even describe. He knew that for Claire it was hard to share her thoughts and emotions with other people. Knowing that he was one person she felt safe to express her feelings to, made him feel happy and important.

While they were in the closet, choosing what to wear, Claire was thinking about Morgan.

»She will insist on going to work. I know it. Now I will have to fight with her stubbornness to try to convince her that she should stay here and rest,« Claire told Neil, and he just shrugged his shoulders.

»Can you just tell her in your boss mode, that she has a day off and has to stay home?« Claire asked him with a pleeding look in her eyes.

»Claire, I can't order her to stay home. It's her decision. Furthermore, maybe it's better that she goes to work. In that way, she won't be alone with her thoughts, and we can keep an eye on her,« he said while buttoning up his shirt.

Claire thought about what he said.

»Maybe you're right,« she agreed and went back to the bedroom to made their bed.

Coming to the kitchen, they both smelled the delicious smell of food and coffee.

»Good morning …« Claire said, stepping to the kitchen counter looking at what Morgan was doing.

»Good morning love birds, you two hungry? I am starving,« Morgan said.

»I am starving and definitely in need of a strong coffee,« Neil said and sat down at dining table where Morgan already prepared the plates.

»What are you doing?« Claire asked, looking at all the food that Morgan prepared.

It wasn't just breakfast what she was seeing. It was brunch.

»You helped me last night. This is the least I could do.«

»You didn't have to.«

»I wanted to, so sit down and wait until the food is ready.«

Claire went to sit next to Neil and watched Morgan while she was confidently turning around their kitchen. She looked tired. Claire knew that Morgan couldn't sleep last night. God, all three of them were a mess.

»How is it possible that you are in the kitchen for fifteen minutes, and you already know where everything is? I live here for almost a year, and I am usually still looking for a spoon,« Claire suddenly asked.

»That's probably because you are never in the kitchen,« Neil said teasingly and smiled at her.

»I love cooking. It relaxes me, and kitchens are all the same. The system is the same. Just like operating rooms, for example,« Morgan answered Claire's question and started to bring food on the table.

»God, this looks and smells so good,« Neil said and started to fill up his plate.

»Thank you. I appreciate it coming from you,« Morgan said in the same way as when Neil praised her when she did something good in the operating room.

»God, stop with the compliments. Jesus …« Claire said, and started to eat.

Morgan and Neil laughed at her comment.

»You know Claire, you can always learn how to cook. It's not that difficult,« Morgan said.

»No, thank you. I have him for that,« Claire answered and looked at Neil.

»Yup, I cook, and she just enjoys the view,« Neil said and then looked at Morgan, who had a naughty look on her face.

»I'm sorry, this came out …«

»C'mon Melendez, don't apologize. Like I already said to Claire last night, I am happy to see you two like this. It's refreshing since at work you are both so tight up. Moreover, you don't have to worry, I won't file another favouritism complaint against you,« Morgan said and smiled, hoping to gain some trust from him.

»Well, I said yesterday that I don't plan on walking on eggshells with you, so maybe this is the part of it. Feeling comfortable around Morgan,« Neil said to Claire and laughed.

»I would like that«, Morgan said sipping a sip of her coffee.

»Plus, next year, you are definitely going to be one of the new attending doctors that stay at the hospital and then it will be even easier to handle our relationship at work.«

»What?« Morgan suddenly asked, and Neil immediately knew he said too much.

Claire also starred at him with curiosity in her eyes.

»What?« he asked, pretending he didn't know what Morgan was asking about.

»You said, one of the new attending doctors. Are they going to take more than one?«

Neil took a deep breath and put down the fork. He was tired, saying things he shouldn't.

»I'm sorry I said that. I shouldn't talk about it.«

»Oh, c'mon, I won't tell anybody,« Morgan pleaded and looked at him with pleading eyes.

»Listen, it's not sure. I just have the information that maybe there are going to be two.«

»They usually take just one.«

»I know, but I guess next year, maybe, is going to be different,« Neil conluded and continued eating.

Morgan's thoughts were all over the place. Her heart suddenly started to beat faster. So there is still a chance to get a permanent job at the hospital where she loved working so much. Maybe she will be able to stay with the people that she knew and were part of her life. She was sure that Claire would get the position. She was Chief Resident, and Chief Residents usually get it if they are good surgeons and leaders, and she was top of the top. There was no doubt about it. What if they will also choose her?

»Morgan, eat now and stop thinking about it,« Neil said with a serious tone.

»Is it possible that they will choose Claire and me?«

Neil took a deep breath.

»Everything is possible,« he answered.

»Melendez, you know something. Just tell me,« she insisted.

»Morgan, I told you what I know. Now you just have to do your best in this last year of your residency. If it comes to the situation the hospital will take two residents, you will have my support, and that is all I can do for you.«

»You will fight for me?«

»No, I will fight for another attending's resident. What kind of question is that? You are my resident, of course, I will fight for you.«

»Thank you,« Morgan said and again felt regret that she had been such a bitch in the past.

Claire looked at him, proud. She remembered how he had fought for her when the mother of the girl she was supposed to perform her first lead surgery on didn't allow Claire to do the surgery. Neil was the one that convinced her and changed her mind. Claire knew he wouldn't be able to fight for her this time since they were in a relationship, but she was glad that he would fight for Morgan if the hospital takes two residents.

»So, what do you have today on your schedule?« Claire asked him.

»I have three gallbladder removals, can you believe it?«

»Boring …« Morgan said and smiled.

»Boring is good today since I lack sleep. Plus, tomorrow is probably going to be stressful due to that secret patient we have, so today I just need an easy day.«

»You don't know who the patient is?« Claire asked him.

»No, I asked Audrey about it after the meeting when I went to her, but she didn't want to tell me.«

»So, she knows who the patient is?« Morgan asked.

»Yes, of course, she does. I told her it's stupid that they are making such a secret out of it, and she said it's for the best. It got me thinking that is probably someone that I know and don't like? But then again, who could it be? Why did he ask me to be his surgeon? Does he know me? I don't know. I am confused. But I didn't want to push more to find out, because I didn't even have the will or energy to do it.«

»Forget it; it doesn't matter who the patient is. He's coming tomorrow, you will perform this surgery, the hospital will get the money, and we will probably never have to deal with him again,« Claire said.

»Exactly,« Morgan agreed.

»By the way, at which of the three surgeries today will dr. White assist you?« Claire asked Neil.

»Second one. At 11 o'clock. Why?«

»If I will have time to get away from the ER for a few minutes, I will come to the gallery to see how he's holding up.«

»Why?« Neil asked and looked at her.

Claire looked at him in confusion and Morgan started laughing.

»Probably because his broad, muscular shoulders,« she said and winked at Claire that opened her mouth and then closed them again in confusion.

Neil was still waiting for Claire's answer. She turned towards him and smiled.

»I'm a Chief Resident. It's my job to know what is happening with my group of residents. I just want to see what kind of talent we got. Moreover, just so you know, your shoulders are muscular enough for me,« she added and then laughed.

She would never admit it to him, but she liked how protective he was of her. Nobody ever cared about her the way he did, but it was strange. Until dr. White, he didn't show any jealousy. Maybe he was jealous of his broad shoulders like Morgan said, she thought and barely held back a laugh. She couldn't deny that Henry was well … handsome for any woman's eye.

»I don't like him; he's too friendly,« Neil said.

»You don't even know him,« Claire laughed.

»I've seen enough,« he tried to say seriously, but Claire and Morgan both saw that his lips curled into a little smile.

»Melendez, you have nothing to be jealous about. Since she's with you, it's like other men don't even exist,« Morgan said and rolled her eyes with a smile on her face, and got up from the table.

»Claire, I would need some clothes.«

»Yes, of course, just go to the closet and pick something you like,« Claire answered and gestured Morgan towards the bedroom.

»Listen, do you two mind if you clean the table? I have to catch the bus,« Morgan said, coming back to the dining room.

»What? What bus? You can ride with us,« Neil said.

»I don't think that's a good idea. What will others say if they see all three of us together? Maybe someone will file a favouritism complaint against you favouring me,« Morgan joked, and Neil rolled his eyes.

»It's pouring outside. If somebody asks we can say you were on your way to the bus station and we picked you up so that you didn't walk in the rain,« Claire added and Neil nodded.

»Such a cliche. Fine, I won't object a ride with a car instead of a bus, and honestly, I always wanted to ride in a Tesla,« she said and smiled.

Henry was slowly walking towards the entrance doors of the hospital when he saw them from the distance how they got out of the car. As they were coming closer, he could see that they were a mess. All three of them looked tired as if they wouldn't even sleep.

»Good morning,« Claire said to him.

»Good morning to the three of you,« he answered and opened the entrance doors upon reaching them.

When they were finally inside, save from the rain, he could see them better. They were really a mess. He got curious what was going on with them, but then again, he wasn't a person that would put his nose, where it doesn't belong. He saw his boss suddenly reaching for his phone that was ringing in his pocket, saying that he is already in the hospital and then he left in a hurry together with Claire. He then looked at Morgan and couldn't miss the wound on her forehead.

»Ready for your first surgery with dr. Melendez?« Morgan suddenly asked him when she saw that Henry was starring at her wound.

»Yes, ready, and also very excited,« he answered with a big grin on his face.

»You know it's just a gallbladder removal, not a heart transplant, right?« she said with her cocky in confidant smile.

»What was the procedure that you assisted for the first time?« he asked her to challenge her a little.

»Craniectomy,« she said convincingly.

Henry looked at her with a surprised look in his eyes.

»You're messing with me right now, right?«

She loved his surprised expression.

»Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. You will never know,« she whispered and gave him a sweet smile.

Her sweet smile throws him off guard. Is she flirting with me, Henry thought to himself, and the thought of her flirting with him for some reason filled him with excitement.

She suddenly looked at her watch. She was already late and still needed to change.

»I have to go to the ER. Chief Resident won't be happy about me being late,« she said to him, turned around and left.

He watched her leave, her beautiful blonde curls bouncing on her back, and he couldn't miss the confidence with which she carried herself. There was something about her, something that had already attracted him when he first saw her at the meeting yesterday. He couldn't deny that he admired her even before he met her. Her medical articles, which she published in medical journals, were admirable. Now that he had met her in person, he was even more excited about her. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his pager. It was then that he realized that he was still standing in the middle of the hospital hallway, staring in the direction Morgan had gone, even though she was long gone. He knew that he should focus on work instead of having his thoughts occupied by a very talented and likeable resident, but somehow she found her way into his head in just a day.

»Great, just great Henry,« he whispered and scolded himself in his mind for being smitten by her, a fifth-year badass resident that probably already had someone in her life.

He knew he was in trouble when he realized that the thought of her having a boyfriend filled him with disappointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading the 5th chapter. Let me know what you liked the most about it in the comments. 🤗😍 Remember, your comments are my food. 😄 
> 
> P.S. I hope, since I had some technical issues with the comment section on the 4th chapter, that now everything will work fine.


	6. Day at the emergency room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire is in charge of the ER. What fears does she have? How will she handle it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers!
> 
> First of all, my friend Berra, that always proofreads my chapter, is on vacation and I didn't want to bother her with it, because she deserves a break. 😊 So this chapter probably has mistakes. The English language is not my mother language so please forgive me for any mistakes you might find while reading it.
> 
> I am not from the medical field so I try to do my best when it comes to parts of the story when I write about procedures, surgeries, medical cases, etc. I hope it is believable enough.
> 
> This chapter is shorter than the previous one. I thought it's going to be longer since I wanted to put more ideas in, but this week went by so fast that I didn't have time to actually write everything down as I planned it. So, the ideas that were not included in this chapter, will come to life in the 7th. This chapter will show you Claire in action as she will lead the ER, it also has some sweet and spicy moments between our favourite love birds. ❤️
> 
> I can also finally say that the operation of the secret patient is coming, so stay patient. Just a little bit more and you will find out who the patient is. 😉
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> Sarah

As Claire had predicted the night before, there was chaos on the horizon in the emergency room. As if it wasn't enough that the operating rooms were fully occupied anyway, because of all the previously booked surgeries, and that just dr. Lim was scheduled to be in the emergency room as a senior doctor because of it, five ambulance arrivals to the hospital were announced due to a traffic accident.

»Dr. Browne, good morning, hope you had a good night sleep, next few hours are going to be fun,« dr. Lim greeted.

»I am fresh as a daisy,« Claire lied as she put on her medical coat and put a stethoscope around her neck.

»God, because dr. Andrews needs me to assist with one of his surgeries, so I am putting you in charge of the ER.«

Claire's heart skipped a beat. Her in charge of the ER? Without any attending doctor at all? Although she felt a little bit of panic rising in her body at the thought of her leading the ER on her own, she didn't let it show before dr. Lim.

»Ok, how is the situation regarding the operating rooms?« Claire asked calmly trying to convince herself that she can handle this.

»Right now just one is free, but it is scheduled for Melendez at 8 o'clock. Otherwise, we have a full house.«

Claire looked at her watch. Thirty minutes until every single operating room is booked.

»How soon will the next operating room be free and available for another procedure?« Claire asked trying to get as much information as she could so that she is going to be able to organize a timetable for patients in need of surgery if it comes to that.

»About forty-five minutes,« dr. Lim answered and turned to nurse Flores that was standing behind her.

»Nurse Flores, today dr. Browne is in charge. What she says, goes. Usually, residents don't book operating rooms or change schedules about surgical procedures, but today we will make an exception,« she ordered and then left the ER, leaving Claire behind and alone.

No matter how good she was as a surgeon, no matter how many lead surgeries she already had behind her or how many new surgical ideas she presented in the past, she always felt panic when she found herself in a new situation. That feeling of self-doubt got even stronger since she dated Neil. The fear of disappointing him and embarrassing him in front of other attending surgeons again settled in her body. God Claire, stop doubting yourself and come to your senses. You can do it. Think fast, methodically, just as your favorite surgeon taught you, she thought to herself and couldn't help a little smile when she thought of him.

She looked around and saw that she has five nurses, two second-year residents, and Jena, a first-year resident she met yesterday, starring at her.

»Suit up. All we know so far is that we have about ten people coming in. Some of them with serious injuries. Residents, be precise and fast. If in doubt about anything, ask, there is no such thing as stupid questions, you understand?« Claire said in a serious tone, and all of them nodded in agreement.

»Did anyone see dr. Reznick?« she asked looking around ER, looking for her friend.

»No,« nurse Flores answered.

»She should already be here. Page her, I need her here as soon as possible. The first two ambulances are announced to arrive in less than five minutes.«

»I'm here, I'm here,« Claire suddenly heard Morgan, seeing her running to the ER.

If there was one thing that Claire was now happy about, is that Morgan didn't decide to stay home, because she will really need her help today.

»Sorry, I was in the changing room when dr. Lim told me to hurry up to the ER. I guess we are going to have a madhouse?«

»Five ambulances, about ten people. We don't have any information about the severity of the injuries. I just hope there won’t be a lot of injuries that would require immediate surgery because we almost have a full house when it comes to operating rooms.«

»God, I really hope that this day in the ER won't be like when we were in quarantine, because I don’t want to perform abdominal surgery outside the operating room again,« Morgan said while suiting up in her medical gown.

»Well, I guess we will do what we have to do,« Claire said and took a deep breath.

»Dr. Lim said you're in charge …« Morgan said and looked at Claire while putting on her gloves.

»Yeah …« Claire whispered and Morgan could see she was nervous.

»Hey, you've got this. Everything is going to be fine.«

»I know. It's just, I don't want to …«

»… disappoint him,« Morgan finished the sentence for her, and Claire nodded her head.

»For Christ sake Brown, get a grip. You could never disappoint him, even if you would screw something up. If there is someone that believes in you no matter what, it's him.«

Claire looked at Morgan and smiled at her. Suddenly they heard it. The sirens of ambulances in the distance, which grew louder and louder as they were approaching the hospital.

»Ok, everybody, I need you at your best. Now, let's do this,« Claire said to them and at that moment the first two ambulances arrived.

There were two people in the first ambulance with minor injuries. Just a few scratches and wounds that needed disinfection and maybe possible suturing. Claire sent both patients with Jane, who did not hesitate for a moment, but immediately took action.

»I need a doctor right away! We have an open pneumothorax. He suffered a severe blow to the chest,« said a medical technician who brought a middle-aged man from the second ambulance.

»I've got this! Morgan, take the next one,« Claire suddenly said and started working on the patient.

Claire immediately changed the dressing and securely taped it on three sides to prevent air from entering the man's chest.

»Sir, how would you describe your chest pain from 1 to 10?« Claire asked while the man looked at her in fear in her eyes.

»I don't know, 7 or 8. It just really hurts … I feel dizzy.«

»Nurse Flores, I need help here! I need to insert a chest tube. Now!«

Nurse Flores came with all the medical supplies Claire needed for thoracostomy. Claire moved fast and confident while she anesthetized the area between two ribs and then made a small incision so she could insert a chest tube that was connected to suction. The man immediately calmed down, looking relieved. Claire saw that his numbers were improving. His heart rate and also blood pressure was going back to normal.

»Chief, where do you need me? Dr. Lim paged me and then send me here to help,« Henry said coming out of nowhere and Claire couldn't be happier to have two more hands-on board.

»We have an open pneumothorax. I need an X-ray on this patient and I need the images before eight o'clock so he can go to the operating room as soon as possible.«

»On it,« Henry said and was already leaving the ER with a man, that now finally was able to breathe normally.

Claire looked around the emergency room and saw that everything was under control. While residents admitted patients with minor injuries, Morgan took on two more severe ones with the help of nurses. They were lucky that there was not a greater need for operating rooms. It didn't take long for dr. White to come back with X-ray images.

»Chief, here are the images from the X-ray,« Henry said and gave Claire his tablet.

Claire looked at the pictures and she didn't like what she was seeing.

»He needs surgery as soon as possible. That gallbladder that dr. Melendez has at 8 o'clock will have to wait,« she said and looked at the clock. It was almost eight.

»Shit, he is definitely already scrubbing in,« she said and looked around ER.

Everything was under control. The residents were dealing with their last patients, Morgan was finishing with a woman that had burns on her hands.

»Morgan, you are in charge until I come back. I need to get the man with open pneumothorax in the OR.«

»Got it!« Morgan said and nodded not taking her eyes off from her patient that she was caring for.

Claire ran to the operating room where Neil was supposed to have surgery. She was right. He was just getting ready, his surgical team already waiting for him.

»Hey, I need you to postpone this surgery. I have an open pneumothorax on my hands that needs immediate attention. This operating room is the only one that isn't occupied right now,« she quickly explained to him, showing him the X-ray images.

Neil looked at them carefully and nodded.

»As you say, Chief,« he said to her, handing her back the tablet, giving her a little smile.

Claire smiled back at him, not being able to miss the blue colour of his surgical uniform, for which she always thought that suited him perfectly. But she quickly pushed those thoughts aside and turned around to leave.

»Dr. Browne,« she heard him say and turned around to face him.

»Yes?«

»I heard you are leading the ER today. You're doing great,« he said, but this time there was no seductive or relaxed undertone in his voice like a few seconds ago. He told her that as her boss.

»Thank you,« she simply said and left.

Going back to the ER knowing that her patient is already on it's way to surgery and that he is going to be ok, she felt joy and happiness. Neil's approval made her even happier. She always liked his sometimes playful and relaxed boyfriend mood when they were working, but she had to admit that she also liked him as her boss. She always admired him as a surgeon and that didn't change as they started dating. She still needed his approval when it came to her work. There were a lot of amazing surgeons working at St. Bonaventure Hospital, but there was no surgeon that would measure up to him. She didn't think that just because he was her boyfriend, she actually perceived him as the best way before she even fell in love with him. He was the reason she chose to do her residency at St. Bonaventure. When she was just a student she was reading about the fameous and talented dr. Neil Melendez. When she got the spot on his team, knowing that he will be her mentor, that she is going to have the chance to learn from him, she couldn't believe it. It was all she wanted at that moment. Who knew she would fall in love with him. That he will fall in love with her. She did not dare to imagine this even in her wildest dreams, but here they were. Crazy and head over heels in love with each other. Idiots, like he would say.

When she came back to the ER everything was calm. Morgan was still taking care of a patient with burns with a great deal of caution and at the same time described everything that she was doing to Jane, who listened to Morgan with big ears and did everything she ordered her to do. Over the next two hours, patients with minor injuries from sports activities were admitted to the emergency room, Henry and Claire also treated a woman with a serious allergic reaction to antibiotics that she was taking.

It was almost 10 AM when finally the ER was completely quiet. Claire looked at Morgan that was talking to nurse Flores, taking one of the cups of coffee that Henry had just brought.

»Chief, do you want some coffee too?« he asked her.

»Yes, coffee sounds good, thank you,« Claire answered and stepped towards them taking the hot cup that Henry handed to her.

»So, any advice for my first assisting surgery when it comes to working with dr. Melendez?« Henry asked.

»Don't mess it up,« Morgan answered with a small smile on her face and shrugged her shoulders.

»Thank you. That is very good advice, but I was hoping for something more accurate and helpful,« Henry said rolling his eyes.

»Rookie, did you just roll your eyes at me?« Morgan asked him and suddenly Henry became tense, knowing that he probably shouldn't be so comfortable around her.

After all, she was already a fifth-year resident, she is soon going to be an attending doctor. What was wrong with him? From where did this familiar feeling that he felt around her come from?

»Sorry, I meant to say that was very good advice,« he answered, but obviously he knew that she knew he was being sarcastic.

»No, it's not,« Claire suddenly said and smiled.

»Just be confident at everything you do,« Claire added and took another sip of her coffee.

»Yes, and if at one point you have no idea of what you're doing, act confident. Dr. Melendez, with the big ego he has, doesn't like insecure doctors,« Morgan added and now it was Claire who rolled her eyes.

»What? He has a big ego. It's not a secret. That didn't change because he is dating a soft touch.«

»I am not a soft touch,« Claire said to Morgan.

»Yes, you are. And that is your advantage, well usually, so take it as a compliment.«

»Well, I think that dr. Brown and dr. Melendez make a great team,« Henry said and Morgan laughed.

»Kiss ass,« she whispered to him.

»Dr. White, just do your best. That is all you can do. You're going to be just fine,« Claire said and while she tilted the cup to take another sip of coffee, the lid from the cup came off and coffee spilled all over her uniform.

»Damn it,« she hissed »I have to go change. Morgan, can you …«

»Yes, go. I will hold the fort until you get back.«

»If anything happens, page me immediately.«

»You've got it.«

Claire was changing her uniform in the on-call room when he entered.

»Survived the morning in the ER?«

»Yes, I did. Everything was happening so fast I didn't even realize when things calmed down.«

As she fixed her hair from under a fresh uniform, Claire leaned against the wall, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. Suddenly, the sound of a key turning in the door lock got her attention. She opened her eyes and looked at Neil.

»What are you doing?« Claire asked him with a cautious look on her face.

Neil slowly stepped toward her in confidence, hands in his pockets. When he was right in front of her he gave her that half-smile that she found so damn attractive. His hands found their way to her hips and pulled her closer to him.

»I just wanted to do this,« he whispered and leaned down to kiss her.

At the touch of his lips, her mind went blank, as always. He was the one person that could make all of her worries, her stress to go away in a second. When his tongue gently touched hers, she uttered a soft moan. Her body responded in an instant and squeezed itself closer to him. She wished that they could be like this together forever. Just them in their small bubble away from everyone and everything. Without distractions. Just the two of them surrendering to one another until they would wear themselves out like they did the first night when they were together and so many nights after that.

Suddenly she was thrown out of her pleasant thoughts and feelings by voices that were coming through the door of the on-call room from the hallway.

»Neil …« she whispered between the kisses.

»Hmm?«

»We shouldn't,« she whispered breathlessly again.

»Oh, we should,« he whispered back and Claire suddenly lost the ground under her feet when his arm hugged her around her waist picking her up, turning around, and putting her down on the table that was behind him.

»Neil, it's reckless. Somebody could look for us and …«

»I don't care,« he cut her off moving his lips to her neck.

»Neil, this is exactly what we said we won't do in the hos…«

»Claire,« Neil suddenly said, putting his hands on the table at the sides of her thighs, locking his gaze with hers.

»I already wanted you yesterday evening, I wanted you this morning, and since there was always someone that got in our way, right now I want you so bad it is driving me crazy, so just shut up and kiss me,« he said to her in a serious but lustful voice.

»Is that an order?« she whispered back and saw the sparks in his eyes when his lips curled into a smile at her question.

»Yes, it is,« he said without hesitation.

Maybe just this once, just this once they could brake this rule of theirs of not having sex in the hospital, she thought to herself.

»How could I say no to you?« she whispered before her lips found his again.

»You can't,« he whispered as Claire's hands quickly started to strip off the top of his uniform.

»Confident much?«

»Well, you make me feel as if I am the most desirable man on the planet. How could I not be confident?«

»You are the most desirable man on the planet,« Claire said and smiled, feeling happy because she was the one who made him feel that way. She wrapped her legs tightly around his hips, her arms traveling up and down his back as she lost herself in their kiss one more time. Suddenly she heard her pager went off and cursed Morgan in her head. Damn, that woman surely had bad timing.

»God, what is it now?« she said annoyingly while Neil started kissing her collar bone.

»Leave it,« he whispered moving his lips to her jaw.

Claire quickly checked the pager.

»It's the ER. I have to go,« she said pushing Neil gently away from her, getting down from the table, and searching her medical coat.

»For a man that is the most desirable man on the planet, I sure have a lot of trouble with getting laid,« Neil said jokingly.

Claire turned towards him smiling, her eyes roaming his half-naked body.

»Melendez, you really are a sight for sore eyes,« she whispered, her eyes and body clearly showing to him that she would much rather stay with him than to go deal with whatever Morgan paged her for.

»So are you Brown. Now go, we will finish this at home,« he said putting on his uniform again.

»Oh, you can be sure of that,« she whispered and smiled at him before she left the on-call room.

»Morgan, this better be good, because if you paged me for something stupid, I …«

»We have a rape victim,« Morgan blurted out and Claire stood ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read the 6th chapter. Please, don't forget to share your thoughts in the comment section. ❤️🤗


	7. You are better at this than at bowling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Claire and Morgan deal with a patient that was a victim of a rape, Henry also tries to find a way to be excellent at his job. The beautiful blonde doctor that is occupying his thoughts makes that a little harder for him. 😏
> 
> Neil and Claire are again trying to get some alone time … will they finally be able to be together without interruptions? ❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers,
> 
> sorry for the late update. The last two weeks were crazy busy for me. 😢
> 
> Ok, my notes for you are getting longer with every chapter. 😄 I don't know how many of you read the notes, but I just always have something to say. Haha, I am a very talkative person. 😉 Furthermore, I have a feeling that my notes can sometimes also give you a better perspective on my story.
> 
> So, thank you for sticking with me, for reading my story. Thank you for every single comment that you write to me. It means so much. ❤️🤗
> 
> This chapter is quite full of different topics. First of all, I want to warn you just in case if this is going to be something you don't want to read about, that our doctors will deal with a rape victim. But the chapter is also full of friendship, love, passion … maybe this chapter will also be the beginning of another love story. Who knows? 😉 
> 
> There was a request in the comments under one of the previous chapters that we need a hot Melendaire scene and that you hoped that Neil will finally get lucky, but then he didn't (thanks Morgan to interrupt them three freaking times 😄). 😉 So, I have decided to go a little further with them this time. I just want to say that I always like to read descriptions of explicit love scenes, but writing one … well, that is a whole other story, because while writing it I always question myself how far should I take it, are readers going to even like it, is it believable, does the description feel natural, and so on. For me is very important that the explicit scene isn't just a rough and empty description of sex, but that the description is also charged with emotions. That was what I was trying to portray in this chapter when it comes to the scene of Neil and Claire. I tried my best and I hope you will like it. 🔥❤️
> 
> This chapter also isn't proofread so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.
> 
> Enjoy reading the 7th chapter! 🤗
> 
> Sarah

Morgan had just taken her last sip of coffee when she realized that the break in the ER is over. She could again hear ambulance sirens in the distance that were getting louder every second as the ambulance was approaching.

»I guess our break is over,« she sighed, feeling tired since she didn't sleep at all last night.

She hoped that the coffee would boost her energy, restore her strength a bit, but the only thing that would really help her now was a very long and good sleep. She knew she looked awful. Not long after the emergency room was flooded with patients from a car accident, it started pounding in her head. She saw how nurse Flores and dr. White looked at her every now and then, noticing that something is wrong, but neither of them dared to ask anything. This was certainly an advantage of not being exactly popular with her sometimes bitchy personality. No one interfered in her personal affairs.

»C'mon. Let's go wait outside for the ambulance,« she suddenly heard Henry and stepped to the trashcan to throw away her empty cup.

»Aren't we eager,« she said to him and quickly stepped after him.

At the same time she could not miss his tall figure before her that was going towards the exit confidently and surely. If she hadn’t known he was a first-year resident, she would never have guessed it. _He looks older_ , she thought in her head, _and hot_. When that thought crossed her mind she slapped herself in her head. Obviously, she wasn't tired enough if she could think about stupid things like that. But well, she couldn't deny it. He was ridiculously hot. The medical coat fit him perfectly, his light brown hair was arranged in a perfect hairstyle and they looked incredibly soft. She wondered what it would feel like if she could run her fingers through it. She again scolded herself for thinking about him like that and put those thoughts aside.

As the paramedic stepped out of the ambulance, Morgan stepped closer to the vehicle door.

»What do we have?« she asked while the first responder started to open the door.

»You know, when I think that I already saw everything when it comes to my job, every now and then the cruelty of people slaps me again in the face. We have a rape victim,« he answered Morgan's question and at that moment Morgan's stomach twisted in sickness.

When she saw the unconscious girl on the hospital bed it was as if she was looking at herself. The girl, just around eighteen years old, was her height, she had long blonde hair that was dirty from dust and sticky from sweat. When she looked at her face, she immediately noticed that her right eye was swollen. The swelling was definitely caused by a strong blow. Morgan then saw the bruises on her neck.

»Her vitals are stable, but she is in bad shape. She was still conscious when we came for her at the crime scene. She lost consciousness on the way here. I suggest you draw her blood for testing. I suspect that she was drugged with something because she was completely disoriented, confused, she wasn't capable of answering any of our questions,« the paramedic said.

Morgan heard him loud and clear but couldn't prepare herself to answer him or even move. Everything that happened to her last night hit her back like a boomerang. Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, despair, panic.

Henry noticed Morgan staring blankly at the girl without moving. He saw how pale her skin had become. Unaware of his movement, he automatically raised his hand and placed it on her shoulder to ask her if she was okay. At that moment, she twitched as if the touch of his hand was like a blow to her body. He withdrew his hand in an instant.

»Hey, are you ok?« he asked quietly and carefully.

When she looked at him he noticed her stare was absent, like if she wasn't there with him. But then suddenly she blinked and smiled at him.

»Yes, I'm fine. It's just … cases like this really get to me, you know,« she answered him, but he didn't buy it. She was lying to him.

»Let's get her inside,« Morgan said.

Morgan and Henry went with the girl to the back of the emergency room to have more privacy. They hooked her up to check her vitals. Everything was in the normal range. Morgan checked her pupil response.

»Her pupils are dilated. She was definitely drugged«, Morgan said and then heard loud talking that was coming from the front part of the emergency room. She heard an unknown male voice and nurse Flores that was arguing with him.

»God, what is it now?« Morgan said annoyingly and ordered Henry to stay with the girl while she checks what is going on.

Morgan walked over to nurse Flores that was standing next to the tall man, a police officer.

»What is going on here?« Morgan asked and looked at the man that had a dissatisfied and irritated expression on his face.

»I'm Detective Walker, this is my partner, Detective Carter. We have to talk to the girl that was just brought here. She was a victim of a rape.«

»Well, you will have to wait,« Morgan answered and already wanted to turn around and leave when the man's voice stopped her.

»That is what the nurse here already said. Are you in charge here? We want to talk to someone who is in charge.«

Morgan took a deep breath and already wanted to start a fight with them, but then remembered that Claire was in charge of the ER today. If things escalated to the point that the attending surgeon would have to intervene and Claire would not be in the emergency room at that time, well, that wouldn't be good for her so she decided that she won't fight with them and that the best thing is that she follows protocol.

»Fine, I will call someone who is in charge,« Morgan snapped at him wearily, paged Claire, and turned around to go back to the girl.

»Thank you,« the man said.

»Oh, don't think her yet,« nurse Flores said to him knowing that dr. Browne will tear them apart. She was passionate and very protective when it came to the patients. Claire wasn't a quiet and timid resident anymore like she was sometimes at the beginning of her residency. Through the years she grew up to a very confidant and determined young doctor. And everyone in the hospital could see that since she's been with Neil, she's gotten even better. He always pushed her towards the right path and brought the best out of her.

While Morgan was walking to the girl, Claire already came back to the ER.

»Morgan, this better be good, because if you paged me for something stupid, I …«

»We have a rape victim,« Morgan blurted out and Claire stood ground.

»What?«

»Two detectives are here and they are causing trouble, trying to get to the patient so they could talk to her. I didn't let them. They said they want to talk to someone in charge. So, Chief … handle it.«

»Are you ok?« Claire asked her and looked for any signs of stress in her friend, but didn't find it.

»I'm fine. I'm going back to the girl. Just deal with those two detectives. They are so annoying and arrogant, but then again, you have experience with arrogant man,« she said and winked at her.

Claire took a deep breath and stepped towards two man that were waiting.

»I'm dr. Browne, Chief Resident. What seems to be the problem?«

»Resident? We need to talk to an attending doctor.«

»No, you don't. I am in charge here today, so you are going to talk to me,« she said confidently.

»We need to talk to the girl that was brought here.«

»You will when we take care of her and when she is going to be prepared and ready to talk to you. For now, you will have to wait.«

»You don't understand. This case is time-sensitive. It is very important that we talk to her if we want to catch the man who did this to her as soon as possible. Just, don't make our jobs harder.«

»Right now, you are the one who is making my job harder. You are going to talk to her when I say you can talk to her. Not sooner, you understand?«

The detective looked at her and if looks could kill, well, Claire wouldn't be alive anymore.

»You know that we are the police, right? We have the authority here.«

»Listen, you are not at the police station, you are in a hospital. Here, I am the one who has the authority, doctors have the authority, not you. And sooner you let me do my job, sooner you will be able to see the girl. So sit down and wait or you will have to leave the ER.«

The man's lips tightened into a thin line and Claire could see him thinking what to do.

»Fine, just promise me that you will try to get us in there with her as soon as possible. This isn't just a rape case. It is also a kidnapping case and the man who did this is wanted for multiple murders. This is why we are so eager to talk to her. She is the first girl that survived this monster.«

Claire took a deep breath and nodded.

»I will get you in there with her as soon as she is ready to talk,« Claire answered and left to join Morgan and Henry.

The expression on the detective's face softened a little bit. He looked at his partner and took a deep breath.

»If she is bossy like this as the Chief Resident, how is she going to be as attending doctor?« he whispered to his partner, and nurse Flores that heard him couldn't help but smile at his remark.

There was one time that she remembered when dr. Melendez was treating a patient in the ER. The relatives of the patients were causing a scene when Melendez suddenly had enough of it and threw all of them out of the ER. She could remember how his two residents, dr. Reznick and dr. Browne, looked at each other satisfied when he did that. They were probably thinking about how amazing it probably feels when you have an authority like that. Well, today, dr. Browne did an excellent job.

»How is she?« Claire asked coming into the room where Morgan and Henry were taking care of the girl.

»She is gaining consciousness, her vitals are ok,« Henry said and looked at Morgan that was strangely quiet ever since she came back into the room.

Claire looked at the girl that was slowly opening her eyes. She stepped closer to her but still kept her distance to not make her uncomfortable.

»Hey, can you hear me?« Claire gently asked her.

The girl's eyes wandered around the room and Claire saw that she began to panic.

»You're safe now. You are at San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital. I'm dr. Claire Browne, this is dr. Morgan Reznick and dr. Henry White. We are here to take care of you. Can you tell me your name?«

The girl looked at them, nervously squeezing the blanket in her hands.

»I want that he leaves the room,« she suddenly whispered looking at Henry who looked at her confused.

»Dr. White is a doctor, he…«

»I don't want a male doctor to examine me,« she said and clasped her legs to her so that her chin rested on her knees. She looked completely lost and scared.

Claire looked at Henry, nodded to him toward the exit of the room, and also left the room with him.

»Great, thanks to that monster now she thinks that all men are monsters,« Henry said.

»She's been through hell. Don't take it personally. You have an operation with dr. Melendez in about thirty minutes. Go get prepared and focus on that, ok?« Claire said to him.

»Ok. By the way, is everything alright with dr. Reznick? She seems off today,« he asked and looked at Claire, but couldn't read anything from her face.

»Like I said, dr. White, focus on your work,« she answered him.

Henry nodded at her and left the ER.

»Dr. Browne, tell me what we have,« Claire suddenly heard dr. Lim that came back to the ER after surgery with dr. Andrews.

»Rape victim. I was just about to get a rape kit to start the examination … or do you want me to stay here in the ER and ask someone else to do it?«

»No, that's fine. Do it. She is your patient. You started to work on her so just continue. After the examination, take a break. The same goes for dr. Reznick.«

»Ok, thank you.«

Claire went back to the girl and Morgan, knowing that the next few hours were not going to be pleasant. Not for her and definitely not for the girl. Rape examination could take from about two to six hours. It all depended on what kind of injuries the victim had and also how many breaks the patient wants during the exam. Coming into the room she hinted to Morgan that she wants her to come to the hallway.

»Morgan, are you ok?« Claire asked her looking for any sign of stress or discomfort in her friend.

»Yes, I'm fine,« Morgan replied wearily.

»I'm serious Morgan. I know you are not used to expressing your feelings and emotions and you definitely never want to admit when things are hard for you, but…«  
» Listen,« Morgan interrupted her.

»I'm fine. Yes, this case is bringing up the things from last night, but I want to be here. I want to be next to this girl so don't you dare to pull me off this case,« she said seriously.

»Fine, but if you will find it too hard at any moment, especially during the examination of her, you can take a break.«

»Claire, I'm a doctor. I already was and I will be faced with many more unpleasant and horrific situations that I will have to deal with. Just because I was attacked it doesn't mean that I can't deal with these kinds of situations,« Morgan explained.

»I know Morgan. I just want you to know that I am here for you and that it's ok if sometimes you need help to get through something.«

»Thanks,« Morgan whispered and took a deep breath.

»C'mon, let's go back to her.«

Morgan and Claire went back to the girl's room.

»You didn't tell us your name before,« Morgan said gently and smiled at the frightened girl in front of them.

»Maria,« the girl whispered and looked away.

»Maria, do you want us to call someone? Your parents?«

»No,« Maria suddenly blurted like the thought of her parents being next to her in a situation like this was horrifying for her.

»I'm eighteen, I don't want them here and I don't want them to know what happened to me,« she explained and Claire nodded.

»Maybe you could call a friend?« Morgan suggested.

»I just want to be alone for now,« Maria said.

»Ok, as you wish, but if you change your mind just tell us,« Morgan said.

»Maria, we want to examine you, and it's not just an ordinary examination. We suggest you do it also due to the investigation but in the end, it is your choice. It is an examination with which we can recover physical evidence of assault and rape. I know you are tired and scared …«

»Examine me. Now. I want to get this over with. Furthermore, I want the person who did this to me is locked away so I don't really have much choice, do I?«

Morgan looked at the girl that was now not just sad, scared, and hurt but she could also see the anger in her.

»Ok. Here I have papers that you need to sign. With your signature we have your consent to do the examination,« Morgan explained and handed the papers to Maria.

Claire and Morgan took Maria to the examination room and explained to Maria how the examination looks like.

»I want you to know that you can decline any or all parts of the examination at any point. If you don't want to do something, you don't have too, you understand?« Claire asked.

»Yes,« Maria said and took a deep breath.

During the examination, Claire kept explaining to Maria what she was doing and why. Morgan, who had been Claire's right hand on examination was becoming angrier and angrier with herself. In front of her stood a girl, who had survived hell and yet she remained strong and did everything the examination required of her so that she could help the police. And what did she do after the attack on her? She decided not to do anything. Neil was right. She should have reported the attack, she thought.

»Dr. Reznick?« she suddenly heard Claire realizing that she was lost in her thoughts.

»Yes?«

»I need antibiotic creme and a bandage,« Claire said looking at her colleague and friend with worry because she knew that this rape case is getting to Morgan.

After three hours, the examination was completed.

»You did really great Maria,« Claire said and took Maria to her room where she crawled into bed looking completely exhausted.

»Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?« Morgan asked.

»No, I'm fine. I don't really have an appetite right now.«

»Listen, Maria … I have one more question. There are two detectives in the hospital since you were brought here. They want to talk to you,« Claire said carefully.

»Can I talk to them, I don't know, tomorrow? I am so tired.«

»I know you are, but … they said that the sooner they talk to you the better. They say that the time is really of the essence when it comes to cases like this,« Claire explained and looked at Maria to see her reaction.

Maria took a deep breath and stayed quiet.

»Listen, if you don't want to, nobody is pushing you. I will tell them that …«

»No, it's fine. I will talk to them.«

»Ok, I'll go get them.«

Claire left Maria with Morgan and went back to the waiting room at the ER. Two detectives were still sitting there.

»Detective Walker, Detective Carter, Maria is ready for you,« Claire said and two detectives immediately got up from the seats.

»Listen,« Claire stopped them when they already wanted to take their first step, »Maria is very strong and she wants to help. She did very well at the examination, she did everything the examination required of her, so that will also probably help the investigation a lot. She is prepared to talk to you, but if I think at any point during your conversation with her that her well-being is deteriorating, that she is not feeling well, I will end the conversation. You understand?«

»Yes, we understand,« detective Walker said.

»Follow me,« Claire said and headed for Maria's room.

»By the way, are you always this bossy?« suddenly detective Walker asked Claire and gave her a smile.

»I'm not bossy, just passionate about what I do. For me, patients always come first, no matter what. Someone needs to look out for their well-being, especially in sensitive moments like this. Furthermore, now that she has calmed down a bit, you will learn much more from her than if you had questioned her when she was still completely upset and scared. When it comes to patients, a positive attitude always leads to positive outcomes.

»As you say, dr. Browne,« the detective said and smiled at her again.

Before entering the room, Claire knocked on the door and then entered.

»Maria, this is Detective Walker and Detective Carter. They want to ask you some questions, but you can end the conversation at any point if you don't want to continue, ok?«

»Ok,« Maria whispered and looked at two detectives.

»Will you stay?« she suddenly asked, looking at Claire and Morgan.

»Yes, we will stay if you want,« Morgan said and gave her an assuring smile.

»Yes, please stay.«

Morgan and Claire sat down in the corner of Maria's room.

»So, Maria, we will ask you some questions and you just answer as best as you can, ok?«

»Ok.«

»So, you went on a run yesterday night, right?«

»Yes.«

»Can you remember the time?«

»Around 9.45 PM.«

»We found you on Emory Street. Did the attack happened there?«

»Yes. I mean … the house from which I escaped from was at Emory Street. The attack happened in that house, but I was kidnapped elsewhere.«

»Can you remember the street, where you were kidnapped?«

Maria went quiet and they could see she is trying to remember.

»Yes, I do remember. It was Fremont Street.«

As Maria uttered the name of the street where she had been abducted, Morgan's stomach turned and she felt a chill run through her body. She looked at Claire in horror. Fremont Street. That was the street where she was attacked. Was it possible that Maria was attacked by the same person as her? Maria said she was out about 9.45 PM. Morgan came to Neil's apartment around 10 PM. The timeline was right. They were both on the same street. Morgan had the feeling she will puke. Felling Claire's hand grabbing hers in comfort didn't do much to calm her down.

When two detectives finished their conversation, they left the room. Claire told Maria that she can call if she needs anything but that now she can finally rest and sleep. The only thing Maria did before falling into a deep sleep was that she called her parents. She told them that she will stay at her friend's house and that she will come back home tomorrow. When Claire and Morgan left the room, Morgan immediately turned to Claire.

»Did you hear? She was on the same street as me! It was definitely the same person that attacked us. God, I could prevent what happened to her,« Morgan said desperately.

»Morgan, how? You couldn't prevent it.«

»If I went to the police …«

»Morgan, it wouldn't make any difference. You two were on the same street almost at the same time. Everything happened in a matter of minutes,« Claire tried to calm her friend.

»Why? Why did I got away and she didn't? That could be me!«

»I don't know,« Claire whispered and remembered what detective Walker said about the person responsible for the attack. That he is also wanted for murders and that Maria is the only one who survived him. God, if it was the same person, Morgan survived him too. Claire thought if she should tell Morgan about what the detective Walker said but then decided against it. Morgan was upset enough already.

»Are you going to report it now?« Claire asked.

»Yes, I will. Today we are here on the long shift so I will go to the police station tomorrow after work.

»Do you want me to come with?« Claire asked.

»I don't know.«

»Well, tell me if you want me to be there with you, ok?«

»Yes.«

Claire looked at her watch. It was unbelievable how fast the day was passing by. She decided to use her break to go see Neil. Knowing that he had just most likely finished his third gallbladder operation, she headed for the operating room. She was right. He was just washing up and the other members of the surgical team were just leaving the room.

»Hey you,« she whispered and stepped toward him.

»Hey, I missed you at the gallery. You said you will check up on how dr. White is doing,« Neil said.

Claire took a deep breath, and knowing that they are alone, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. She immediately felt his arms around her squeezing her even closer to him.

»Rough day?« he whispered into her hair.

»Yes,« she answered back feeling grateful that even though he was her boss, she could be honest with him when things were hard for her.

She gently pulled away and looked at him.

»The girl was brought to the ER today. Victim of a rape.«

»God, how's Morgan holding up?«

»Fine, I guess. But you know Morgan. She wouldn't admit she's not fine even if you tortured her.«

Neil smiled at her and gently played with the strand of Claire's hair that had escaped from her ponytail with his fingers.

»Well, you were the same, you know. You also didn't want anyone's help in the past,« he said.

»Well, you changed that,« Claire whispered.

»But, that's not everything,« she continued, »the man, who did this to Maria, he is most probably the same guy that attacked Morgan,« she explained and told Neil everything that she learned from the police.

»Please tell me, that she changed her mind and she will report the attack,« Neil said serious and worried.

»Yes, tomorrow. God, I can't believe this. I don't want to imagine what could happen if she didn't get away. I didn't even tell her any of this. I don't want to upset her,« Claire said and Neil could see how worried about Morgan she was.

»She is ok. She got away. That's all that matters,« he said trying to calm her down.

»Listen, we finish up at eight. Do you want to grab some dinner?« he asked her.

»Not really. Let's just go home after the shift and we can prepare something by ourselves,« Claire suggested.

»You mean that I will prepare something for us,« Neil said playfully knowing that if they want to eat something that is actually eatable, he will have to cook.

Claire laughed at his remark and put her arms around his neck looking at his lips.

»Don't worry. I will find a way to make it up to you,« she whispered and felt how his hands gently squeezed her hips.

»Really?« he whispered to her thinking about how much he wanted to kiss her but also knowing that he shouldn't. He knew that at any second the new surgical team will come through the door.

»Yes, if I remember correctly, we have some unfinished business,« Claire said and smiled at him.

»God, you are driving me crazy,« he whispered and moved away from her, putting some distance between them.

»I really want this shift to end already,« he said smiling at her.

»Oh, I bet you do,« she said seductively and then left the room leaving Neil with a smile on his face.

Meanwhile, Morgan was pouring herself a cup of coffee in the resident's lounge enjoying her break. She took a pocket mirror out of her bag and looked at her forehead. She hated the way the wound looked. It was so obvious. She also saw that she will have to put some more skin glue onto it. She was lost in her thoughts when Henry entered the room. He didn't miss how quickly she closed the pocket mirror and put it back into her bag.

»Dr. Reznick,« he greated her.

»Dr. White,« she answered taking a sip of coffee.

»How is the girl from the ER?« he asked and sat down in front of her.

»Well, you know. Scared, frightened but she did very well with the examination and she also talked to the police. She's brave,« Morgan explained for some reason feeling uncomfortable under Henry's gaze.

»How was the surgery with dr. Melendez?«

»Well, I have never seen such an elegant removal of a gallbladder,« Henry said and they both laughed.

»Yes, Melendez could do it blindfolded,« Morgan said and smiled again.

They again fell into silence. She starred at her cup of coffee and Henry couldn't stop starring at her. He had the feeling that he is making her uncomfortable, but he couldn't decide if that was a good or a bad thing.

»By the way, what happened to your forehead? Are you ok?« he asked to break the silence.

»Oh, this?« Morgan asked and pointed with her finger at her forehead.

»You will never believe what happened yesterday night. I got kidnapped to perform a surgery on some gangster that got shot at the abdomen. While they were leading me to the basement where this guy was, I tripped and hit my head,« Morgan said with a serious expression on her face.

Henry smiled and decided to play her game.

»Well, I bet that the guy is safe and sound,« he said to her and smiled.

»Oh, yes. I have quite a lot of experience with abdominal surgeries out of operating rooms.«

»Really?«

»Yes, and believe me, you don't want to hear about it or be in a situation that I was in,« she said and shook her head at the thought of the Christmas day in the ER when they were on lockdown because of the virus performing surgeries in the ER that they shouldn't.

»Your wound doesn't look good. It needs more glue. Wait here. I am gonna grab it and then we can fix it,« Henry suddenly said and got up.

»It's fine. I will do it…«

Morgan failed to tell until the end when Henry had already left the room. _Handsome, flirty, and caring_ , she thought to herself and then shook the thought away. Henry came back within minutes.

»Here we go,« he said and stepped toward her starting to put on gloves.

»This is really not necessary,« Morgan started to argue but Henry just shushed her.

»God, are you always so stubborn?« she asked.

»Me? Stubborn? Look who's talking,« he said gently touching her face to turn her head so that he could see the wound better.

Morgan froze at his touch and didn't know where to look. She turned her gaze down to the floor because she didn't want to stare at him. It was hard not to stare at him. She couldn't deny he was handsome. His perfect jawline was distracting almost as much as his muscular shoulders. His eyes were bright green, sometimes blue, it depended on the light. She liked his voice that was deep but had a soft ring to it. She scolded herself in her head to think of him like that. Henry was working on her wound more slowly then it was necessary. He just couldn't get his hands to move faster. Honestly, he didn't even want to. It was interesting how differently she acted. Sometimes she was this confident surgeon with humorous and sarcastic remarks, and sometimes, like now, she was quiet and shy.

»It's hideous, right?« she quietly asked.

»It's not that bad. It's gonna be fine. When it heals, there probably won't be any sign of it,« he said and smiled at her still curious how she got the scar but he decided not to ask her again.

»Here, all done.«

»Thank you,« she said.

»Of course.«

Morgan gave him a small smile and awkwardly got up from her chair, walked past him, and headed back towards the emergency room. The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. Every now and then Morgan went to see Maria, who was fast asleep. She felt so much anger inside her. Her gaze slipped to Maria's face, where the bruises were now even more visible, the swelling around her eyes had faded a little which was a good thing. Morgan knew that even if Maria didn't want to tell her parents what happened to her, she will have to tell them. No amount of make-up could hide her bruises. But well, Maria will have to cross that bridge when it comes to it. For now, she just has to rest. It was already dark outside, so Morgan turned off the lights in Maria's room and gently covered her over her upper body. She looked at her watch and saw that her bus leaves in half an hour. As she stepped through the main door to leave the hospital, looking at her phone to choose where to order dinner, she bumped into Henry. Looking up to apologize to the person she bumped into, she again saw those green eyes that hadn't given her peace for the last two days.

»Hey you,« he simply said and smiled at her.

»Hey … I'm sorry. I was looking at my phone, didn't see you,« she apologized.

»Going home?«

»Yes, my bus leaves in fifteen minutes.«

»You know, I can give you a ride if you want,« he offered and Morgan wanted to say yes, but decided it was better to reject him. She couldn't deny that there was a strange vibe between them that she couldn’t explain. Tense, awkward. But in a good way. She knew that she can't afford that something would develop between them because then everything in the hospital would just get harder for both of them. Especially now that she is in the final year of her residency. If she is lucky, she will be able to stay in this hospital as an attending doctor and that would mean that she would be his superior. No, she definitely didn't want to be the next Melendez in a female disguise.

Claire was also leaving the hospital when she saw Morgan and Henry. Just as she stepped outside, she heard Henry offer Morgan a ride.

»God, just say yes to him,« Claire whispered to herself.

»Thanks, but I will just take the bus,« Claire heard Morgan answer Henry and rolled her eyes.

Claire noticed that Henry was a little disappointed. _Will you look at that, Morgan has a fan_ , she thought to herself and stepped towards Morgan as Henry left.

»Reznick, going home?«

»That was the plan. But now that I see you, are you up for a drink or two?« Morgan suggested.

»Ummm, can we take a rain check?«

»God, do you really have something better to do?« Morgan asked with disappointment in her voice.

»Actually … yes,« Claire answered and smiled at Morgan with a naughty look.

»Oh God,« Morgan said when she realized what Claire's plans for tonight were, »well, then enjoy doing him,« she said and laughed.

»Oh, I plan too,« Claire answered.

»Where is Melendez? Aren't you going home together?«

»He already left. I am going with my car that's standing here in the parking lot for I don't know how long. I have to drive it home.«

»Well, go then. Don't let him wait too long,« Morgan said to her with a mischievous look on her face.

»You're right. And by the way, you are the one holding me away from him again. The poor thing has been waiting for quite some time to get lucky since you have disturbed us three times already in just two days.«

»What? Three times? When?«

»Well, yesterday night, then this morning and … it doesn't matter when the third time was,« Claire said thinking that she shouldn't mention the on-call room.

Morgan laughed out loud.

»I see Brown. You two are not so innocent when it comes to being appropriate in a hospital. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. God, I envy you. I don't remember when was the last time I got laid,« Morgan said and sighed.

Now it was Claire that got a mischievous look on her face.

»Oh, I think that isn't a problem anymore, because I think we have a volunteer that could solve this problem of yours,« she said and saw how Morgan looked at her with confusion.

»What are you talking about?« Morgan asked.

»C'mon Reznick. Don't play dumb with me. Dr. White? He's so into you.«

»No, he's not.«

»Yes, he is. He is so obvious and he doesn't even try to hide it,« Claire said.

»Well, it doesn't matter. I am not interested.«

»You are telling me that those wide muscular shoulders aren't distracting for you? I mean, just imagine those shoulders of his hovering all over you,« Claire said and enjoyed how Morgan suddenly blushed.

»What the hell? Don't put ideas like that in my mind,« Morgan said trying to stay cool.

»Ideas like this were already in your mind before I even said anything, just admit it,« Claire said and smiled at her.

»Browne, you should go home,« Morgan said.

»Yes, you're right. I have my own muscular shoulders that are waiting to hover all over me when I get home.«

»Now that is definitely not a picture I want in my head. You with my boss,« Morgan said desperately but then burst out laughing.

»Good night Reznick.«

»Good night Browne,« Morgan said and couldn't help but smile. She was so happy that Claire started to share her personal things with her. She felt like now they finally also got to that playful part of their friendship when they finally tell each other the juicy parts of their life. Well, Morgan knew that Claire will definitely never go into details when it came to her sex life with Neil, but just knowing she loosened up a little bit and that she was able to joke a little about it with her, made her feel that they got even closer. After a horrible night before and a tough day, she finally felt a little bit better.

When Claire entered the apartment, she heard Neil in the kitchen. She took off her shoes and stepped toward the living room, where she tossed her bag on the sofa and sighed with relief.

»Home sweet home,« she said with a satisfied smile on her face and looked toward Neil that was in his white shirt chopping vegetables. She stepped into the kitchen, stood next to him, and Neil could immediately sense that she was up to something, but he decided to ignore her secret plans for the time being, so he continued with what he was doing.

»How was the ride home?« he asked.

»Lonely,« she said and he could feel how she stepped even closer to him so that her upper arm was touching his.

Neil didn't look at her but he couldn't hide his smile. He knew very well, what was going on.

»Are you trying to seduce me?« he said and continued chopping the vegetables.

»What makes you think that?« Claire said pretending she is surprised at his question, »I am just curious about what you're doing.«

Neil stopped with what he was doing and looked at her. She had her hair down and her eyes were sparkling under the kitchen lights.

»Since when are you curious about my cooking skills?« he asked her and laughed.

»Ok, now you have offended me. Babe, I am curious about everything that concerns you. But well … I won't lie that some things attract more attention than others,« she said with an innocent voice.

Neil put the knife down on the kitchen counter and turned to face her.

»What is it that attracts you the most about me?« he asked.

»Well, let me see …« she said seriously.

»Your surgical skills are off the chart, so that catches my attention,« Claire started to speak and Neil smiled looking at her fingers that were playing with one of his shirt buttons. 

»What else?«

»Well … the way you carry yourself and boss everyone around in the hospital like you own it. That's just so … hot,« she whispered and Neil's playful smile faded.

The smile was replaced with a lustful expression. Furthermore, when Claire started unbuttoning his shirt his body started to respond. He felt the heat going up to his neck, looking at her soft lips moving when she spoke, made him think about how much he just wants to kiss her. He saw her lips moving when she was talking about everything she liked about him, but he somehow didn't hear her. The only thing he could concentrate on is her fingers gently touching his skin while slowly, too slowly, unbuttoning his shirt. He could see her eyes roaming his body.

»Hey babe, did you hear what I just said?« he suddenly heard her say.

»Shit Claire, I'm sorry, I …«

»I mean, I am here telling you these things to seduce you and turn you on and you are …«

»Oh, so you are trying to seduce me?« he interrupted the playful speech that she was giving him.

Claire smiled and took a deep breath.

»Yes Melendez, I am trying to seduce you. Is it working?«

He didn't answer her question. Instead, he cupped her face and pressed his lips against hers. It didn't take long that Claire gave him access to her mouth and when their tongues touched, there was nothing that could stop them. Neil's hands found their way under Claire's skirt and the next moment Claire found herself on the kitchen counter and wrapped her legs around his hips. Claire pushed the shirt off his shoulders. Neil helped her undress it to the end and then threw it on the floor. Claire's gentle fingers traveled down his abdomen, all the way to the hem of his pants and she confidently unbuckled his belt. Neil sighed sharply, closed his eyes, and leaned his forehead against hers when he felt her warm hand slipping behind his boxers. She touched him exactly where he had wanted for the last two days. She knew very well how to drive him crazy.

»This … this is also one of the things that I adore when it comes to you …« she whispered and he looked at her.

»What?« he whispered already a little out of breath not being able to think about anything else then what Claire's hand was doing to him.

»That I am the one who can bring you to the edge,« she whispered and at that moment the pressure of her grip got stronger.

»Shit, Claire, stop …«

»You don't want me to stop. Not really …« she said.

She was right. He didn't want her to stop but she had to stop or this will end way too soon. He gently grabbed her hand and stopped her. Neil looked at Claire's face that was flushed and he could hear her breathing heavily from arousal. He grabbed the hem of her shirt and took it off. The next thing he took off as a pro was her bra and before Claire even realized he wrapped his lips around her nipple. Claire arched her back toward him and her hand on which she was leaning on against the kitchen counter slipped and suddenly something rumbled behind her. The noise got both of their attention and Neil started to laugh.

»God, it doesn't matter what you do in the kitchen. You always make a mess,« he said laughing and looked at the scattered spices.

»Forget about it,« she said and pulled him closer to her, feeling the skin of his chest against her breasts.

While they were kissing again, she felt how his hand gently traveled up her spine and when he reached her neck he tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled it with just the right measure of roughness. She tilted her head back exposing her neck, which Neil rewarded with greedy kisses. She felt how his breath hitched as she rubbed her hips against his. He looked at her and she could see how his eyes were dark from pleasure. He picked her up and in no time they were in the bedroom. Neil threw Claire on the bed and Claire laughed out loud. She could see that his arousal was mixed with a playfulness which she always liked. He stood in front of the bed and stared at her with greedy eyes. He took off the rest of his clothes. Claire's heart was pounding so hard that she could feel it. Her breathing got heavier and she let that her back and head fell against the mattress. She just wanted to calm herself down a little bit, to control her body because she wanted this to last. _Jesus, he barely touched me and I am already a mess. He's going to destroy me before he's even inside me_ , she thought.

»Look at me,« he said gently, but his voice was hoarse.

Claire leaned on her elbows and looked at him. He locked his eyes on hers and with his hands, he gently touched her knees, spread them open, and leaned toward her with his body looking at her face. Claire approached him to kiss him, but he backed away with a mischievous smile on his face. His lips traveled between her breasts and Claire moaned as she felt his tongue in her navel. His hands slid down the inside of her thighs and all of a sudden she felt how he slowly pulled down her panties.

»Neil, please …« she whispered breathlessly and heard his contented moan. His lips finally touched hers again and the very next moment he slid inside of her. He then gently pulled out and let himself get lost inside her one more time … and again … and again … Feeling his body thrusting into hers over and over again was something that made her forget about everything around her. It was just him, him, and no one else that mattered at that moment. She could only concentrate on the scent of his body, the heat of his skin, and the sweat she felt under her fingers when she held on his back to hold him close. As his thrusts were becoming more frantic, she crossed her ankles on his lower back and at that moment felt him even deeper inside of her. Her fingers slid between his hair, gently pulling for them, as she started to feel the pleasure building up in her belly.

»God, Neil …« she whispered with heavy breath closing her eyes and concentrating on every single move that he made to get her closer to the edge.

But suddenly the sweet build-up that made her body on fire, stopped.

»No, Neil, don't stop … why…«

»Say it,« he whispered breathlessly and leaned his forehead against hers.

»What do you want me to say? I'll say anything …«

»Tell me that this is forever. That we are going to last forever,« he whispered against her lips.

Claire looked at him and locked his gaze with him.

»We are going to last forever,« she whispered back to him and gently caressed his cheek.

»Neil?«

»Yes?«

»We are going to last forever, no doubt about it, but this,« she whispered while bucking her hips higher against him making him moan in pleasure, »I need it to be over now, so just move and make me come,« Claire said with a naughty look on her face and with a spice of bossiness in her voice that she knew Neil liked.

»Gosh babe, you are so romantic,« he whispered sarcastically with a smile on his lips, and Claire smiled with that wide and beautiful smile of hers that Neil liked so much.

»You are romantic enough for the both of us,« she said and bucked up her hips again.

That's when he started to move again taking them to the point they wanted to be. In his head, he again heard her words from earlier today, when she said that he is the most desirable man on the planet. Now, seeing Claire under him, panting, whispering his name and begging him for more, he truly felt like that. It didn't take much longer for both of their bodies to shatter into thousands of pieces. They got lost in pleasure together.

Their bodies indulged in the passion that engulfed them, like a wave of a raging ocean that you cannot stop. Neil muffled Claire's moans with a kiss, thrusting into her one last time before his body collapsed on top of her. Claire felt his rapid breathing against her neck. She closed her eyes and at that moment when Neil lay on top of her, she could feel the strong and rapid beat of their hearts. She felt them as one.

…

»Shit Claire, you are so much better at this than at bowling,« Neil said still breathing heavy and Claire burst out laughing.

»I really hope so,« she said with a smile on her face and looked at him.

He had that beautiful smile on his face that made his eyes sparkle. _God, he's gorgeous_ , she thought and squeezed her body against his and laid her head on his chest, listening with her eyes closed to the fast and strong beat of his heart. He wrapped his arms around her and Claire knew there was no other place in this world where she would rather be. Neil rested his chin on Claire's soft curls and inhaled their scent. Her hair smelled of lavender. Neil adored the feeling of her warm, still slightly sweaty body, next to him. He felt the beating of his heart begin to calm down.

»You hungry?« he whispered and stroked her hair.

»Mhm, I'm hungry for you,« she whispered back and he could feel on his chest how she smiled.

»Claire, give a man a break,« he laughed and let his hand slid to her butt and squeezed it gently.

Claire raised her head and looked at him.

»Given what your hand is doing right now, I don't think you need a break,« she said playfully and straddled his lap. Neil put his hands on her thighs and Claire didn't overlook the way his eyes traveled across her naked body.

»Like what you see?« she whispered seriously and at that moment again felt a wave of lust sweeping over her body.

»Very much actually,« Neil whispered back and Claire suddenly felt his thumb rubbing exactly on that sweet spot of her body that made her inhale sharply with pleasure. A soft moan escaped her mouth and she closed her eyes surrendering to the sensations that traveled through her body thanks to Neil's skillful fingers.

Neil knew he would never be able to get tired of the view in front of him. The fact that he was the one Claire came back to every day, every night, filled him with satisfaction. Because of Claire, he felt whole, there was no longer the feeling of emptiness he had felt in the past before she became a part of his life. There was no longer a missing piece in his heart that he didn't know how to fill. Claire was that missing piece and she fitted into his heart perfectly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the 7th chapter! 🤗 Please don't forget to leave a comment. Tell me what you liked the most! 🤗❤️😘 Don't forget ... your comments are my food. 😄😍


	8. The identity of a secret patient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What are Morgan's regrets and with what Henry is struggling with? Was the relationship between Neil and Claire strong like it is today from the very beginning? Who is the secret patient that Neil will operate on? Find out in the 8th chapter of Grateful for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> Here it is. The long-awaited chapter. In this chapter, you will finally find out who the secret and rich patient is. For now, I will just say that you met him already as a character in The good doctor. I never liked this character. I don't know why, I just never found him appealing and I never felt that this character is bringing some kind of value to the show. I am sorry if you don't feel the same about this character and if because of it you won't like this storyline. However, I must say that I am satisfied with how this chapter turned out. 😊
> 
> The chapter is quite long and full of different topics, characters. You are going to be able to see Morgan's regrets, you will also be faced with what Henry is dealing with because of his past. I must say that Henry, the character that I created on my own in this fanfiction, is getting under my skin. I really like him, and I hope you feel the same about him. When it comes to Neil and Claire in this chapter, you are going to witness the struggles they had in the past when their relationship was just beginning. ❤️
> 
> And one thing that is taking a lot of space in this chapter is the secret patient. When it comes to this person, you will also see a different side of Neil. Neil is not just sweet, an amazing surgeon, and so on. Neil can also be angry, irritated, with his confidence and testosterone all over the place. 😏🔥
> 
> I have put a lot of effort into this chapter, I was changing it quite a lot because I wanted it to feel real. I hope that I achieved what I was striving for, and I hope you will like it. 
> 
> Special thank you goes to my friend Berra that proofread this chapter. ❤️
> 
> Enjoy reading it and don't forget to leave a comment. It means a lot if you do! 😊
> 
> Sarah

Claire woke up before the alarm on her phone goes off. She sighed deeply and stretched her naked body, which was wrapped in a thin blanket. She reached for the phone and when she saw what time it was, she realized that she and Neil will have to get up. Slowly turning to her side, Claire realized that she has the best view in front of her. That brought a smile to her face. Neil always complained that she was stealing his blanket. She always tried to explain to him she wasn't doing it on purpose, but Neil didn't believe her. He teased her by saying that he knows she does it on purpose, especially when he is naked so that she can look at him. But well, Claire truly was innocent in this story but at the same time, she couldn't deny that she loved to look at his body. She loved everything about it and not just because of the physical appearance. One thing she liked the most about his body is that it was keeping him alive. That's all that really mattered to her. She knew how hard it was after his injury. How much effort he put into his recovery so that he can again be in the same shape as he was before. Healthy and strong. Neil was still sound asleep. He was lying on his stomach, his face turned towards Claire. When he slept, he looked younger, vulnerable. His face was relaxed, there was not a hint of concern on it that Claire could often see in the hospital. She slowly stretched her hand towards his face and gently stroked his cheek. He began to wake up.

»Gosh, I am so cold,« he whispered, reaching for the blanket that was wrapped around Claire, gently trying to pull it toward him, but Claire didn't let him.

»I disagree babe. You are ridiculously hot,« she answered laughing knowing very well that he definitely can't be cold in the middle of the very hot summer.

Neil slowly opened his eyes to look at her. Her hair was a complete mess and he loved it because he knew what made her hair like that.

»Look who's talking, hotshot,« he said and reached with his arm toward her pulling her closer to him.

»We have to get up,« Claire said while she was gently sliding with her fingers over his upper arm.

»No, I don't want to,« he said and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

»Well, sadly, you don't have a choice. We need to be in the hospital in less than an hour.«

»I don't want to go,« Neil said again and wrapped his arm around Claire's waist even harder.

»What is it with you, babe? I am definitely not used to you complaining,« Claire said with a smile on her face.

»I just wish we could stay in bed like this forever. Or if that's too much to ask, at least for a few more hours. I want to do everything we did last night all over again.«

»Aaaa, so that's the reason you are so eager to stay in bed,« Claire joked.

»Do we really have to go?« Neil said like a stubborn child.

»Yes, sadly we do have to go,« Claire said and kissed him before she left the bed.

As they stepped out of the bedroom into the kitchen, showered, and dressed, they first saw a mess in the kitchen. There was still half-prepared food on the kitchen counter and their clothes were still lying on the floor as they left it the night before.

»Someone had a wild night,« Neil whispered.

»Lucky them,« Claire answered.

They looked at each other and couldn't help but smile.

Henry was sitting in the locker room looking at his timetable waiting for others to come to work so they could start with the rounds.

»Hey handsome, not satisfied with your timetable?« he heard a woman's voice.

Looking up he saw Jane. If he said he was glad to see her, he would be lying but he knew that he won't be able to avoid her or be lucky enough to not have to see her. He had to come to terms with working in the same hospital with her. If he knew how everything will end between them, he would never apply to the same residency program. But now it's too late. He decided that he will stay professional and friendly with her. The problem was that Jane didn't act the same as him. They weren't on the same page. Proof of that was her annoying phone calls and texts in the last two weeks. He tried to be friendly, but if she continues with this pretense of not understanding the whole situation and insisting to fix it, he will lose his patience with her. He took a deep breath and tried to answer her as he would any other doctor.

»No, it's fine,« he answered her and looked at his tablet again hoping she will realize he isn't interested in talking to her.

»So, I've heard you assisted dr. Melendez already. Lucky you,« she continued and played with the strand of her hair.

»Yes, I did.«

»Well, I had to do scout work the whole freaking day yesterday. It's so not fair,« she complained.

»Everybody does scout work sooner or later. I won't be an exception.«

Jane looked at him and felt that he isn't interested in talking to her, but she couldn't let it go.

»Listen, would you go on a drink with me after work? For old times sake?« she asked carefully.

Henry looked at her, put down his tablet, and sighed.

»Jane, listen, I know that not a lot of time has passed since we broke up, but we did … broke up, and I don't have any intention to get back together with you. We're done,« he said directly but calmly.

»Just, give me a second chance. I know I screwed up, but …«

»Listen, I won't give you a second chance, ok? I can give a second chance to my friends or my co-workers, but I won't give a chance when it comes to a relationship with someone. You screwed up, ok?«

Jane looked at him and wanted to cry. She still loved him. What the hell got into her that she did what she did?

»I miss you,« she whispered.

»We've been through this so many times already. I'm not going to change my mind,« he said trying to leave.

»You like someone else, don't you?« she asked him and Henry took a deep breath.

»That is not your business. I don't have to explain myself to you,« Henry said again trying to leave.

»You like that resident you work with, don't you? I saw you two yesterday, outside the hospital.«

»Jane …«

»I heard from quite some people that she is a pain in the ass, a bitch actually. Just looking out for herself not caring what she does to get her way,« Jane said and Henry smiled.

»Well, I don't care what other people say or think. Every person can say what they want, but that doesn't make it true. You don't know her so…«

»… and you do?« she jumped in.

»I didn't say that I do,« he said back.

»But you want to get to know her, right?«

»Jesus Jane, I'm gonna lose my patience with you. What do you want from me?«

»I want you!«

»Oh, really? Did you think that while you were fucking that other guy?« he snapped back tired of being nice because friendliness got him nowhere with Jane.

»I'm so sorry Henry. Please, I will do anyth…«

»Just stop begging, ok? Like I said. It's over. Forget about me.«

Henry took his tablet and went to the residents' lounge. Stepping inside, he saw that dr. Browne and dr. Melendez were in the office next to the residents' lounge. Dr. Browne was showing him something on her computer and he seemed very interested in it. He was glad that he was still alone so he could collect his thoughts. He knew that he will have problems with Jane. Moreover, he knew that this wasn't the end of it. But then again, he won't let her mess with his head and put him in a bad mood.

»Good morning,« he heard a female voice and his mood suddenly changed when he saw her bright smile. His problem with Jane suddenly wasn't present anymore.

»Good morning to you too,« he said and saw that she was completely different today.

She was rested, without black circles under her eyes.

»Did you enjoy your ride by a bus yesterday?« he asked her and smiled.

Morgan looked at him trying to figure out where he's gonna go with his question. She was putting her things down on the table when she looked at him. _God, he has a shirt today, a really tight shirt_ , she thought and tried to hide her curious look. Too late, Henry noticed her curiosity.

»Yes, I very much did. I mean, if I forget about a guy that stank from sweat and that annoying girl that was blasting heavy metal. God, how can anyone listen to heavy metal? I don't get it,« she said.

»Well, then maybe next time you can avoid all of that and accept my invitation to have a ride with me,« he said and smiled at her.

»Maybe,« she said awkwardly and smiled at him.

She was annoyed with herself for being so awkward around him. She was so horrible at this flirting thing with him. She always knew what to say, but not with him. Suddenly the door opened and she saw that Neil and Claire are joining them.

»Dr. Reznick, dr. White, how's your morning?« Neil asked and sit down in front of his other residents.

»Curious, I guess,« Morgan started answering his question, »do we already know who is the secret patient that is coming in today?«

»No, I have a meeting with dr. Lim in ten minutes and I guess that I will finally find out. I will let you know when I do,« Neil answered.

»For now, you just start your rounds. Pay special attention to Mr. Davis. He's one of the patients that had gallbladder removal yesterday. He was complaining about the pain yesterday, so I gave him an increased dose of painkillers. When you're done with the rounds meet me back here. We will meet our secret patient at 11 AM as far as I know.«

Claire, Morgan, and Henry nodded at him and got up from their chairs to leave the lounge when Morgan suddenly turned around.

»Dr. Melendez, can I talk with you for a minute?«

»Yes, of course,« he said and showed her to follow him to the office.

»Sit,« he offered her and settled comfortably in his chair.

»What is it that you want to talk about?« he asked her looking at her feeling relieved that she looks better than the day before.

»It's not work-related. I just wanted to thank you for everything you did for me.«

»Morgan, you have nothing to thank me. I am just glad that you're ok and that you came to us last night,« he answered her.

»Yea … it's … I don't mean just last night. I mean … You are always there for me ever since everything that went down with that patient of mine. I was really struggling with what happened back then and you helped me get through it. What I want to say is that I am honored to have a boss like you. You still believe in me after everything that happened.«

»Morgan, all surgeons experience victories and losses when working with patients. We have to accept the losses just as we except the victories. If you lose a patient that doesn't make you any less of a surgeon. You can't save everyone.«

»Yea, I know …« she whispered and sighed.

»There is one more thing …«

»Ok …«

»I already apologized to Claire, well … long time ago, but I never apologized to you,« Morgan said looking at his confused expression.

»Apologized for what?« he asked her and Morgan felt even worse when she saw that honest confusion on his face. He was too decent to even think that she owns him an apology.

»An apology for the favoritism complaint I filed against you.«

»Morgan, you don…«

»No, let me finish. I don't even know why I did it. I guess I felt threatened by Claire. It was a mistake and now I know it was disrespectful to you. You were never unfair to any of us even if you were closer to her already back then. You always knew how to be objective when you had to be. Me filing a favoritism complaint against you was unjustified. Furthermore, because of me, the whole situation when you two got together was even worse. Because of my favoritism complaint, everyone thought that they have even more right to speak ill of you two as a couple. I truly am sorry,« Morgan said and felt how a huge stone fell from her heart when she apologized to him.

Neil took a deep breath.

»Morgan, when it comes to people, well they would speak nasty and untrue things about us with or without your favoritism complaint. We knew that when we decided to be together. We knew that we will face rumors and disapproving looks. Furthermore, you are right when you say that it was unjustified. When I was told about the favoritism complaint, I won't deny it, it made me question everything about my behavior towards all of you, especially Claire. At that moment, I realized that even though I was sure that I was fair towards all of you as far as professionalism is concerned, I couldn't deny the fact that deep down I felt closer to Claire than any of you, and that scared me. I was trying to deny it, but well, a person can't live in denial for long. Listen, nobody's perfect. You did what you did out of impulse. You made a mistake and you made up for it many times since then, so that's what really matters. But, I appreciate your apology,« he said and smiled at her.

»Thank you. It means a lot … well, that's all I wanted to talk about. I'm going to join Claire and Henry.

Morgan stood up and went towards the door.

»Hey, are you gonna go to the police station today?« Neil suddenly asked her.

»Yes, I will go after the shift. I decided that the best thing is to report it. I mean, I don't know if it's going to make a difference, but now I feel it's the right thing to do.«

»Yes, I think the same. Claire took your stuff so you can take it with you. Maybe they will find some evidence on your clothes,« Neil said and walked over to her with the bag that had her clothes from last night in it and while looking at the bag she saw the printed photos of her injuries.

»Oh, thank you. I was just gonna ask Claire about this but as always she is one step ahead of me,« Morgan said and left his office.

While Claire, Morgan, and Henry were doing rounds, Neil went to Audrey. He was nervous about this secret patient of his. Not knowing who will he operate on and the fact that they waited on purpose to tell him as late as they could, made him nervous, irritated. He knew, he felt that something is off and that he won't be pleased with whoever this secret patient was. No one was so mysterious unless he had hidden or dishonest intentions.

»So, am I finally going to find out who the hell this patient of mine is?« Neil asked Audrey that smiled slightly and sighed deeply.

»I didn't want to tell you sooner because I didn't want you to think about it too much. I know you won't like who the patient is,« she said and looked at him.

»I figured,« he snorted out.

»Just promise me that you will keep your feelings in check and that you won't let your emotions cloud your judgment.

Neil looked at Audrey and suddenly he knew. It clicked in his head like a match that lights up and is engulfed by the flame.

»Who is it?«

»It's Jared. Jared Kalu.«

The silence filled the room and Neil sighed deeply.

»It was him that asked you not to tell me that he is the patient, right?« he asked trying to hide the irritation in his voice.

»No, he didn't. Not telling you was my choice, and I think that was a good call from my part since you two had some personal problems with each other,« Audrey explained and emphasized the word _personal_ so that Neil knew immediately to whom it was concerning. Claire.

Silence filled Audrey's office. Neil could feel his heartbeat beating faster and the anger that gripped his body. He was messing with him. How dared he? Out of all the surgeons he picked him. Why? What did he want to achieve?

»Neil … Neil,« he heard Audrey calling him noticing that he was absent, lost in his thoughts.

»Yes?«

»Stay professional and control your emotions that make you wish that you could tear him apart. Did I make myself clear?«

»Yes,« Neil said and nodded, standing up trying to leave but when he already almost grabbed the hook on the door to open them, he stopped and turned toward Audrey again.

»You always say that if surgeons are personally too close to the case or if the relationship between the surgeon and the patient isn't good, is better if another surgeon is assigned to the patient. Why didn't you do this now? Why are you pushing me to be his surgeon?«

»Because he asked specifically for you and he is prepared to pay an enviable sum of money that you do it.«

»So this is just about money?« Neil asked even more irritated.

»Isn't it always?« Audrey asked him.

»It shouldn't be. Some things are more important,« Neil answered.

»Neil, you've got this. The surgery is tomorrow, it will be over before you know it. Just forget about what happened back then. It's an old story. I'm sure Jared doesn't have any hidden intentions.«

»I really hope so,« Neil said and left Audrey's office.

When he came to the residents' lounge, he settled himself on the small sofa, rested his head on the backrest, and closed his eyes. His thoughts went back to a few months ago when his relationship with Claire was still quite new and sometimes hard to handle.

_While he was standing in the kitchen pouring himself a glass of water, Claire was standing in the middle of the living room getting more and more upset about what had happened that morning at the hospital._

_»Are you even listening to me?« she suddenly said and put her hands to her hips looking at him, waiting for his answer._

_»Yes, I am listening to you, but I don't see the point in this conversation. Why are you so upset? You were wrong today, that's it. It's not the end of the world. You can't expect that I will always agree with you no matter what and do what you think it's right just because we are together. Don't forget that I am still your boss.«_

_»Seriously? Can you be even more arrogant? Can't you admit that you were wrong?« she said loudly._

_»No, I won't admit that, because I was right,« he said also raising his voice._

_This conversation between them was getting out of control. He angrily put a glass of water on the kitchen counter and walked over to her._

_What do you want from me? Don't you see it? You are making a big deal out of it for no reason.«_

_»No reason? You scolded me like a child today in front of Morgan and Lim.«_

_»No, I didn't. I just said that your idea is not completely suitable for this patient. That's all.«_

_»Well, you could wait and tell me when we were alone!«_

_»Since when am I supposed to wait until we are alone to tell you my professional opinion? It was a medical discussion in front of the Chief of Surgery. What was I supposed to do? Tell her if I can leave the room with my girlfriend to tell her what I think about her idea so she won't be offended when I tell her it's a bad one and that she didn't think it completely through?«_

_»I am not offended!«_

_»Yes, you are. You are offended. Offended that I didn't accept your idea instead of Morgan's.«_

_»Oh c'mon, the only reason you accepted Morgan's idea is because it was safer. Yes, my idea wasn't completely suitable because we would have to find another approach to do it. But since when are you scared to try out a new approach to the surgeries?«_

_»Excuse me? Scared? Tell me something. Why would I choose a new approach that wouldn't change anything for the patient if I have a safe option? Plus, we didn't have a lot of time to figure out how to do it your way. Why is this bothering you so much? It isn't the first time that I said no to your idea.«_

_He said that Claire was preparing to speak again but he wasn't having it._

_»You know what? I'm done with this conversation. I don't even have to explain myself to you why I chose the safer and well-known approach. I am the attending surgeon, it's my call. When you are going to be an attending surgeon and when you will have your patients then you will also have the power to decide on your own and you will also have to take responsibility if anything goes wrong. For now, you are still just a resident,« he said seriously and decisively._

_»So my opinion doesn't count because I am a resident?«_

_»It does count! It does, ok?! I considered it and then I decided against it. Claire, we already went through this when you went behind my back directly to the patient in the past. My opinion hasn't changed since then. It's my call what surgery we'll do, not yours.«_

_»Maybe you should just throw me off your service as you did back then. Maybe then your job will be easier,« she hissed and threw her hands in the air in a dramatic way._

_Neil looked at her tired of arguing because it got them nowhere. He wanted to snap back to her that maybe he should do just that but he held back._

_»You know what? I am done talking. I seriously don't know why you are so upset about what happened today and this arguing won't get us anywhere if you won't tell me what is the real reason that you act like this.«_

_»There is no other reason, except that you are acting like an arrogant ass.«_

_Neil turned away from her and headed for the hallway._

_»Where are you going?« she asked him when she reached him in the hallway and this time her voice was calmer._

_»Out,« he simply said to her putting on his shoes and taking his car keys._

_»For how long?«_

_»I don't know. Long enough that you will be able to take a break from an arrogant ass like me, I guess,« he snapped back and at the same time regretted what he said because he suddenly saw panic in her eyes._

_When she looked at him with those green eyes full of panic and maybe even regret for what she said to him, Neil just wanted to step towards her and squeeze her into his embrace, but stubborn as he was, he turned away from her, opened the door and left the apartment. When the door slammed behind him, he felt the chill going down his spine. He was on the verge of crying, something that had never happened to him before, not really. At least not because of an argument. He looked again at the closed door of his apartment and was torn inside. On the one hand, he wanted to stay with her and listen to her yelling and her accusations even though he didn't agree with them, on the other hand, he wanted to be alone because he also didn't know how to handle the situation, how to solve it. He didn't know to make it better so he decided to leave. As he stepped down the stairs he had a feeling his legs were heavy as lead. As he crossed the threshold of the entrance to the building he stopped, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. He drove himself to his favorite bar. He often took Claire there as well. Not just now that they were already a couple, but also back when they were still describing their relationship as completely platonic. This bar was his special place from a long time ago and since he started hanging out with Claire it became their place where they felt safe and comfortable. He always drank his favorite beer or favorite whiskey, while Claire drank cocktails that were much too sweet for his taste. Claire always joked that he doesn't like or need sweet drinks because his life is already sweet enough because he has her in his life. He had a glass of whiskey in front of him that night. In fact, he was already at his fourth. Its firm taste left a hot sensation in his mouth that continued throughout his body and blurred his senses and with that his despair. It felt like his fight with Claire happened a long time ago. But he knew that was not true and that he would have to face her again sooner or later. He drank the last sip of whiskey left in his glass and instructed the waiter to bring him the next one._

_»Fifth whiskey? That cannot mean anything good,« Neil suddenly heard a male voice that was coming from his left._

_He turned his head to look at the man that just sat down next to him. It was Jared. Jared Kalu, his former resident that sued the hospital trying to get back after he was fired. From the very beginning, he never really liked him too much but after the lawsuit against the hospital, after manipulation, he used to get back, he couldn't stand him. And after all, if anyone asked Neil, Jared was the least talented resident at that time, able to steal treatment ideas from others and sell them as his own. When he left the hospital Melendez didn't miss him. It had been quite some time since he had seen him._

_»It was a hard day,« Neil simply said and took another sip of whiskey that the waiter just put in front of him._

_»I see. Rough case or trouble in paradise?« Jared said drinking his beer not looking at Neil._

_»Excuse me?« Neil said, turned his gaze towards him, and saw how the corners of Jared's lips curled into a scornful smile._

_»Oh Melendez, you really thought that everything would go smoothly? This was about to happen sooner or later,« Jared said and Neil felt confused and also irritated with Jared's remark._

_»What the hell are you talking about?« Neil said seriously and there was anger in his voice._

_»It's Friday night and you are sitting here alone instead of spending time with your girl. I assume that things aren't perfect.«_

_»Again, what are you trying to say? Don't bullshit me and say what you want to say or get out of my sight,« Neil said holding the glass of whiskey tight in his hand._

_»Well, everybody from San Jose to god knows where knows the story about you and Claire. A famous surgeon almost loses his life in an earthquake. That makes him realize that he loves his talented resident and at the same time he sees how unpredictable life is. It can end in just a heartbeat. Luckily for him, the girl loves him back so they decide they will try to make it work. They believe it will work. Don't you think that's naive?«_

_Neil looked at him wanting to punch him in the face._

_»Why would that be naive?« he hissed back at him._

_»You are her boss. She is your resident. You won't convince me that you can be her boyfriend and still be objective about her work as her boss. And you know, if you really loved her, if you really cared about her you wouldn't do this to her. You know how many people, well-known surgeons actually, are saying that dr. Browne is fucking her way through her residency?«_

_Neil's body tensed at Jared's words. He clenched his jaw and tried to calm down because the last thing he wanted was to spend the night in jail for breaking the jaw of an idiot in front of him._

_»Well, I don't give a damn about the opinions of people that don't know us. Every single surgeon that spends five minutes in the operating room with Claire can see immediately that she doesn't need to fuck her boss to be on top. Unlike you, who can only get somewhere with manipulation and money, she has talent, undeniable talent, a talent that you as a surgeon will never have.«_

_»Ouch,« Jared said and pretended that Neil's remark hurt him._

_»Maybe you're right, but sadly you are still sitting here all miserable, drinking your sorrows knowing that your relationship with her is destined to fail. You aren't right for her and…«_

_»…and you are?« Neil suddenly jumped into his word and turned his body to him._

_»I could be if she let me,« Jared answered him with a determined look on his face that made Neil even more irritated but at the same time, he smiled at Jared's answer._

_»Exactly, if she let you and if she actually loved you, but guess what, she doesn't. She never did as far as I know. You were just someone that she banged in the on-call room now and then. But guess what, she chose me, because she loves me and that is what really hurts you, doesn't it? You loved her and by the way, this conversation is going I can say that you probably still do, and it hurts you that she never wanted a serious relationship with you.«_

_»God, you're really naive. Sooner or later she will get tired of you. The moment she realizes that you are hurting her career, she will leave you. Claire isn't capable of commitment, she isn't capable of opening up to another person. She will have her fun with you like she did with me and then she will end this thing she has with you. And when that moment happens you will remember this conversation and you will realize that I was right.«_

_»All of the things you just said just shows that you don't know her at all.«_

_»Maybe, but you don't know her either and she doesn't know you. If you would know each other, you would know how to fix your problems, instead, you both sit in a bar alone drowning your anger and frustrations in alcohol.«_

_Neil frowned and a confused expression sat on his face._

_»What do you mean that we both sit in a bar alone?«_

_»Well, I saw Claire here just a week ago. She was in the same state as you right now. Half drunk and miserable. It was nice catching up with her actually.«_

_Neil knew he has to get out of the bar because otherwise he really will do something that will get him in trouble. Jared was provoking him. Fucking bastard. He and Claire were having troubles in their relationship for the last two weeks. A week ago when they had an argument, not as nearly as big as today, she said that she needs to clear her head so she will go to a drink with Morgan. She was here but she wasn't with Morgan, she was with Jared. Did she call him? Or was Jared here like today and he just saw her and approached her? Neil's thoughts started to spiral and alcohol definitely didn't help him to collect his thoughts. There is no way Claire would call Jared. Or? He wanted to know how everything happened here between Jared and Claire but he definitely won't ask this idiot. He won't give him the satisfaction of thinking that he is jealous of him or that he didn't know with whom Claire was that night. Neil drank his last sip of whiskey, put the money on the bar counter, got up, and took his jacket from the chair._

_»Leaving already? Did I make you jealous?« Jared provoked further._

_Neil's head was spinning from alcohol and he felt like he wants to tare Jared apart. Him jealous? Of Jared? He was Neil Melendez. This moron in front of him couldn't even measure up to him. Not in this lifetime anyway, he thought to himself._

_»Jealous? Why would I be jealous? Better yet … of what? You? Please, don't forget who you're talking too. If you see Claire again ask her who was the one who fucked out every single man out of her head and that includes you,« Neil said back at him with his confident and arrogant smile that some people said it was his trademark and went towards the exit leaving Jared with a flustered and angry expression on his face._

_»Fucking idiot,« Neil whispered to himself when he came out and felt warm summer wind on his face._

_He suddenly felt the urge to go home. He wanted to see her. He will even listen to her yelling at him. He didn't care, he just wanted to be next to her. He felt guilty for leaving her alone at home. He felt like a coward that ran away instead of staying and fixing the problem between them. He knew he shouldn't drive with the amount of alcohol he drank so he called a cab. While the taxi driver was taking him home half-drunk, Neil's mind was all over the place. He had to admit that conversation with Jared upset him. But it also made him realize that he and Claire had to find a way to pull through their troubles. He won't lose her. He can't lose her because he couldn't imagine his life without her anymore._

_When he opened the door of their apartment he saw a dim light of a television that was coming from the living room. He threw the keys in the basket on the cupboard and at that moment heard her steps that were approaching him and he prepared for another wave of her accusations._

_»You're back,« she simply whispered._

_When he looked at her there was not a trace of anger on her face, just worry and sadness. It made his heart ache that he was the one who did it even though he still thought that he was right when it came to their argument. He just wished that they could find a way to talk through it and fix it._

_»Of course I'm back. Where else would I go?« he answered her not completely sure what to say or do next._

_All of a sudden she walked over to him, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and hugged him tightly. Her move startled him and he needed a second to realize what was happening. Alcohol really affected his body, he was obviously drunker than he initially thought. He was enveloped by the scent of her, which he adored so much. At that moment, his hands finally moved and squeezed her even closer to him._

_»Don't you ever leave like that again,« she said, and then Neil felt that her body was shaking._

_»Are you crying?« he said and let her go to see her face which was full of tears that were rolling down her cheeks._

_»Hey, don't cry. I'm here. Please don't cry. We're going to be fine,« he said and he squeezed her tightly against him again._

_»I felt so alone when you left.«_

_»I'm here. I'm sorry that I left,« he said and stroked her hair to calm her down._

_They stood in an embrace for quite some time. Claire slowly pulled away from him, but her hands still wouldn't let go of him. She looked at him and realized that he was drinking._

_»You drank,« she whispered and looked at him._

_»Just a little.«_

_»Did you drive home by yourself?« she asked with worry in her eyes._

_»No, I took a cab. I will go and pick up my precious Tesla in the morning,« he said jokingly trying to put a smile on her face and it worked because he could see a small smile at the corner of her lips._

_»Neil, I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me that I acted like that earlier. I mean, I know what is it, it's just … it's hard to talk about it but I want to. Can we talk now?« she asked with eyes full of hope._

_»Yes, we can talk,« he answered relieved._

_Coming to the living room Neil saw an opened bottle of wine on the table._

_»You were having a party too,« he said._

_»Yes, well, it wasn't half as fun as it is with you,« she said and gave him a loving smile._

_»I agree with that,« Neil answered and he could feel how the atmosphere between them is calmer._

_They sat down in the living room next to each other, but there was still more space between them that they would actually like. Neil looked at her and saw that she's struggling with what to say so he decided that he will start the conversation._

_»Claire, I am sorry if you felt humiliated today in any way because of me, that wasn't my intention and…«_

_»You are not the one that has to apologize,« she cut him off and Neil looked at her._

_»I am the one who owes you an apology. I … I just take everything personally when it comes to you. I don't know how to handle it, how to put a line between our personal and professional lives. When you don't agree with me as my boss I feel like I am letting you down, like I am not good enough and at the same time I consequently also feel like I am not good enough as your girlfriend either. I don't know, I just feel all of these emotions inside me and I don't know how to handle and control them.«_

_Neil looked at her and with a soft look on his face. He moved closer to her and took her palms in his._

_»Claire, how can you think that? How can you even think that I would be disappointed with you? If I don't agree with you that doesn't mean that I am mad at you, disappointed with you or that I think you are not good enough as a surgeon. Furthermore, you won't always be right. Not just now when you are a resident, but also later when you are already going to be an attending surgeon. We are learning our whole lives. Do you think that Audrey and I for example agree on everything? We fight all the time about surgical decisions and that's normal. That doesn't mean that one of us is better. It just means that we have different ideas, different approaches and that is a good thing. At the end of the day, we just have to find a compromise and work things out.«_

_»I am afraid I will embarrass you in front of Lim or other surgeons. That's why I was so pissed I guess, that you disagreed with me in front of them.«_

_»Embarrass me? Gosh, Claire. Why are you even having ideas like that in your head? You are the best resident I ever had. I could never feel embarrassed because of you. And you not being good enough as my girlfriend? I'm sorry to say this, but that is the most stupid thing that ever came out of your mouth. I couldn't be more proud of you as my girlfriend. I am so lucky to have you in my life,« he said to her and she immediately clung to him._

_»You are saying this because you're drunk,« she whispered to his ear and he couldn't hold back a laugh._

_»You know what they say about drunks, they can't be capable of lying,« he said and felt how she laughed with him._

_»I love you more than anything, you know that right?« he whispered to her and looked at her cupping her face._

_»I love you too,« she said, leaning forward to his lips, kissing him and feeling the strong taste of whiskey on them._

_»We got this. We just have to talk more about it,« Neil said and nodded._

_Neil looked at her and there was one more thing that disturbed his inner peace._

_»Can I ask you something and you promise that you won't get upset?« he asked her._

_»Of course, what is it?«_

_»Last week, when we argued you left the apartment. You said that you are meeting up with Morgan …« Neil stopped in the middle of the sentence afraid how to continue so that she won't think that he doesn't trust her._

_»Yes, I said that.«_

_»Did you … meet up with Morgan?« he asked and saw how Claire stared at him thinking why he is asking her that, thinking about what was the reason behind his question._

_»No, I didn't meet up with her. I mean, I called her but she wasn't home and she didn't have time to met me so I went to the bar alone.«_

_Neil again paused and felt his heart started beating faster. He trusted her, no doubt about it, but he still needed the answers from her._

_»Were you … alone at the bar?« he asked carefully._

_Claire looked at him, her gaze got absent like she was thinking about that night._

_»No, I wasn't alone. I mean, not the whole time. I was with Jared.«_

_Neil felt relieved that she was honest with him and he felt a little bit better immediately._

_»Did you call him to meet up?«_

_Claire was getting more and more confused with this conversation that started to turn into an interrogation._

_»No, I didn't call Jared. Why would I call him? I was sitting at a bar alone and he was there. He was the one who approached me. That's it. May I ask why all these questions?« she said and Neil finally felt completely calm._

_»Well, I saw him tonight. He also approached me.«_

_»God, what did he say to you? Did he say that I called him?!« Claire said getting angry._

_»No, no, he didn't, but he was talking ambiguously and well, I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of asking him anything, I figured it was a better approach if I ask you.«_

_»Good. Please tell me you didn't let him provoke you?«_

_»Well, not really. Maybe I just said a couple of things to silence him that I probably wouldn't if I was sober. You immediately assumed that he was provoking me. Why?«_

_»Because he was doing the same to me. Saying how stupid I am that I am with you and that it will ruin my career. That our relationship can never work long term. He said that he still loves me and that he wants to fight for me. I made it clear I am not interested. What did he say to you?«_

_»It doesn't matter. It's not important and honestly, I just want to forget about the conversation with him. I really hope that I will never have to face him again,« Neil said and got comfortable on the sofa with Claire in his arms feeling reassured and grateful that they talked everything through._

»Never have to face him again, yea right,« Neil said to himself sitting in his office feeling angry.

He looked at the watch. He still had half an hour until he had to face Jared and his annoying face. His residents were probably almost done with the rounds. He texted Claire asking her to meet him in the on-call room when they're done and then went to wait for her feeling nervous and agitated. After five minutes the doors of the on-call room opened and he saw a small figure stepping in.

»Babe, is everything ok?« she immediately asked and in the next moment, he grabbed her, pulled her to him, and pressed his lips to hers. Claire lost her breath in surprise. She immediately relaxed and surrendered to his rough but at the same time very pleasant kiss that was full of desire and need. When he let her go she was breathless.

»Wow, what was that for handsome? You should do this more often,« she said and smiled at him. 

»We are in a good place, right? We are stronger than ever and nobody can change that, right?« Neil asked gently holding her face in his hands watching her and waiting for her answer.

»Of course. Babe, we are a power couple,« she said with a big smile on her face and stepped on her toes to kiss him on those perfect lips of his that she could never get tired of.

»Good,« Neil said and suddenly he felt like he can do anything just as long he has his precious girl by his side.

»Why did you ask me that?«

Neil took a deep breath.

»I know who our secret patient is,« he said.

»Who?«

Claire suddenly got nervous because she could see on Neil's face that she won't like his answer.

»Neil, who is it?«

»It's Jared. Jared Kalu.«

»You have got to be kidding me …« Claire whispered in disbelief, leaned against the wall, closed her eyes, and wished that this was just a sick joke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading the 8th chapter. 🤗
> 
> What are your thoughts on it? Did you like the jump to the past? Would you like more of the memories from Neil/Claire that can give a better perspective on our favourite couple? What are your thoughts on Henry and Morgan? 🤔😊
> 
> I am going to be very happy if you leave your opinion in the comment section. ❤️


	9. Because I already won

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will the confrontation between Neil and Jared in the hospital look like? What are Jared's intentions, motives that he chose San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital as a place to have his surgery? Find out in the 9th chapter of Grateful for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers!
> 
> First of all, thank you so much for sticking with me and my story. I am very grateful for every comment, every like, and especially for the time that you give to read my story. 🤗
> 
> So, here it is. The chapter where you will see the first confrontation between Neil and Jared after that memory of a bar scene you read about in the previous chapter. I also included another memory, Claire's memory. I really like it. I think it's full of different emotions. The memory is dark, it shows Claire's troubles with Jared but it is also sweet, flirtatious, and funny when it comes to the part of the memory where Neil and Claire are together. You will see Claire in a way you have never seen her until now. 😉 You'll see what I am talking about when you read the chapter. 😄
> 
> This chapter isn't proofread. The English language is not my mother language so I am sorry for all the mistakes you might find. 
> 
> Enjoy reading the 9th chapter! ❤️
> 
> Sarah

Still being in the on-call room, they were silent for about five minutes already and the clock was ticking. In just twenty minutes they will have to go see Jared. Even though they were confident about their relationship, these kinds of situations always filled them with worry, because it reminded them of everything that they went through in the past. People saying inappropriate or even mean things about them, all the fights they had, all the worries that ate them from inside making them think that they won't know how to figure things out, the fear of losing one another … Those memories made their hearts clench in fear at the possibility of new problems that would bring them back to the old tracks. Claire was leaning against the wall thinking about the last time she saw Jared. It wasn't something that she wanted to think about because the last time they saw each other, they quarreled. Claire looked at Neil that was sitting on the bed in the on-call room with his elbows resting on his knees and his head that was hanging low, showing that he was worried. No, she won't let that her past with Jared leaves marks on what she and Neil were building with so much effort and dedication. Jared was nobody in her life, so why would she let that the past with him would influence her like this? Make her nervous and agitated? And why was Neil so worried? Did he still feel threatened by Jared? No way, she thought but then again looked at him. She stepped towards him and knelt before him.

»Hey, why are you so worried?« she whispered and laid her hands on his thighs.

»I'm not.«

»Yes, you are. Talk to me.«

»I'm just tired. This week is a mess,« he whispered feeling weak and unsure of himself, but that is something he didn't want to admit to her.

He always knew that things at work won't be easy if he's going to be with Claire. But they made it work. They were stronger than ever. So why was he feeling so unsure of himself and their relationship all of a sudden?

»Neil, talk to me,« she whispered again and gently touched his chin so that he had to look at her.

»I love you,« he whispered and Claire's heart stopped when she heard with how much softness and longing he uttered those three words that meant the world to her.

»I love you too,« she whispered back and straddled his lap, holding him close to her, just enjoying his scent and his vicinity that made her feel safe.

»Do you ever think that your life would be easier if you weren't with me?« he whispered.

»No, never,« she said immediately, »why are you even asking me that?«

»Jared was right that night. I do make your job harder. You are facing unpleasant rumors because of me. He said that if I really cared for you, I would let you go because otherwise, I will ruin your career sooner or later.«

»Oh, for fuck's sake Neil. Stop it, ok? I chose you and I would choose you over and over again. You, because no matter how hard it was or sometimes still is, you are the only man that I want. I don't care about what other people say, I don't care about the rumors. You know, when I hear someone say that I am fucking you to reach my goals, I just want to turn towards them and tell them how good if feels while I am doing it,« she said angrily and suddenly there was a smile on Neil's face.

»Gosh babe, you are so hot, when you talk like that,« he whispered against her lips.

»There is absolutely no one that would measure up to you, ok? Not in my eyes.«

»So I don't have to be worried about anyone? Not even about White and his shoulders?« he said and Claire saw his teasing smile.

»What is it with you and Henry's shoulders?« Claire laughed and Neil just looked at her with the most loving look.

»I'm just messing with you,« he whispered and gently removed a lock of her hair from her face.

»And just so you know, those shoulders are Morgan's,« Claire said.

»What?« Neil said and smiled.

»You didn't notice? He follows her around like a puppy, looking at her with longing eyes and she likes him too, but she won't admit it. Not yet anyway.«

»Gosh, God help him,« Neil said and Claire couldn't help but laugh.

They both felt better after this flirtatious and light conversation. While looking at each other eyes they felt peace. They knew they are going to be ok and that they shouldn't doubt themselves or their relationship.

»Neil …« Claire whispered and pressed her forehead against his.

»What is it, babe?«

»You know what I want you to do?«

»Tell me, I'll do anything,« he whispered to her feeling drunk from her presence.

»First of all, I want you to kiss me right now like there's no tomorrow, and then I want you to go down the hospital hallways like you own it, you understand? I want you to be this perfectly arrogant surgeon that made me fall in love with him in a way that I didn't even realize when it happened,« Claire said to him, and before she was even able to catch her breath his warm lips were on hers making her moan in pleasure.

Henry and Morgan were sitting in the residents' lounge waiting for Claire and their boss to finally show up. Morgan was nervously checking her watch every few seconds. There were only fifteen minutes left until the moment they will meet their mysterious patient and Neil and Claire were still absent. When Claire left them after the rounds without explanation, Morgan got a bad feeling about it. _Morgan, calm down, they are probably making out and having fun with each other and you are here worrying for nothing_ , she thought to herself trying to convince herself that nothing's wrong.

»May I ask why are you so nervous?« Henry asked looking at her getting nervous himself next to her.

»Nervous?«

»Yes, nervous. You are checking your watch every five seconds.«

»It's nothing, I just have a bad vibe about this secret patient of ours, that's all,« Morgan answered honestly.

»Why?«

»Don't you find it strange that they didn't want to tell who the patient is to the lead surgeon? Why? I think it's stupid.«

»Maybe this patient isn't just rich but also famous. Maybe he just wants to keep the identity to himself.«

»Who wants to hide their identity from their surgeon? Do you think he will put a bag over his head and have it on throughout the surgery so we don't even find out who he is?« Morgan said annoyingly and Henry laughed.

»Just calm down. It doesn't matter who the patient is. It doesn't matter if he is rich or famous, he's human. He has the same anatomy as anyone else. We can do this without getting nervous and crazy,« Henry teased her.

»I just can't shake the feeling that something is wrong,« Morgan whispered and now Henry realized that she isn't just nervous but also worried.

»What could be wrong?« he asked her and at that moment the doors from the lounge opened and Claire and Neil entered.

Claire sat down next to Henry, and Morgan immediately saw that Claire was not in the same mood as she was in the morning. She then looked at Neil that sat down in front of them looking at them with an intense look but he seemed calm. But then again, Melendez knew how to hide any emotions if he wanted to. He was definitely better at that than Claire. Or maybe Morgan just knew Claire better and that was the reason she saw the change of mood in her friend.

»Today I need you three to be at your best, you understand? I want that you are focused, in control. No mistakes, no lack of confidence, and no causing problems. The last one mainly concerns you two and well … me,« Neil said and looked towards Morgan and Claire. 

»Do we understand each other?« Neil asked seriously leaving no room for disagreement from their part.

Henry nodded with confusion on his face but stayed quiet thinking that he really needs to get to know his co-workers better. What the hell was going on, he thought to himself. He could cut the tension in the room with a knife and he realized that Morgan was right to be nervous. Given the situation, the tension radiating from his boss and the Chief resident, he knew that this patient was connected to them personally.

»Do you know who the patient is?« Morgan asked carefully looking at Neil.

»The patient is Jared Kalu,« Neil said and Morgan smiled.

»Of course it's him,« she said and rolled her eyes.

»Who's Jared Kalu?« Henry asked feeling more and more confused.

»Jared Kalu was a resident here about two years ago. He was fired and then he sued the hospital for it and the hospital took him back … but at the end of the day he moved to Denver leaving this place for good.«

»Ok, and that is making all three of you so uncomfortable? He was fired, so what? I mean, this hospital is one of the best in the country. It's not weird that he chose it. If someone wants the best medical care, this hospital is the right choice,« Henry expressed his opinion and heard how his boss took a deep breath.

»C'mon you three. I see that there is more to this story. Tell me something so that I will know what I am getting myself into,« Henry asked wishing that he would know them better.

»It's not just the fact that he was fired … there are other things. More … personal things,« Morgan said and looked at Claire and Neil that were getting more and more uncomfortable.

Henry looked at both of them and suddenly it clicked.

»Ouuu, I get it. This Jared … is he your ex?« Henry asked carefully looking at Claire.

»No, he is my ex. What do you think?« Neil suddenly blurted out and Morgan and Claire started laughing.

»Well, I wouldn't have a problem with that either if that was the case,« Henry said back and that got them all laughing which made the atmosphere in the room a little more relaxed.

»Well, I guess that you three were involved in a love triangle?« Henry asked again.

»Gosh White, shut up,« Morgan said looking at him amazed that he said that in front of their boss.

»Is that an order, dr. Reznick?« he challenged her.

»Do you want it to be?« Morgan snapped back and at that moment Neil and Claire looked at each other amazed and curious with smiles on their faces that showed they just picked up some vibes between Morgan and Henry. Claire raised her eyebrows at Neil telling him, I told you.

»We can leave the room,« Claire whispered when Morgan and Henry had not stopped staring at each other.

»What? Why would you lea…«

»Listen, dr. White,« Claire started to speak, cutting Morgan off, »there is no love triangle. Yes, there is a past between me and … Mr. Kalu, but that's it. The problem is that in the end it wasn't pretty. That is all you really need to know. Let's just survive today and tomorrow and then this will be behind us.«

»Sounds good to me,« Neil said and got up from his chair.

»Are we ready?« Neil asked them.

»I was born ready,« Morgan answered and put on her medical coat.

They left the residents' lounge and headed down the hall toward the room that was allotted to Jared. Henry was walking next to Morgan behind Neil and Claire and he had to admit that the couple in front of them looked sovereign and confident. He admired the power that radiated from them, for he himself knew how hard it is when you have to face someone you would rather not see again. He was in a similar situation with Jane. The door to Jared's room was closed. Neil and Claire looked at each other to let each other know that everything will be fine. Neil raised his hand, knocked on the door, and entered the room. Claire, Henry and Morgan followed him confidently.

Next to Jared's bed, they saw dr. Lim that had a friendly smile on its face.

»Good day, I hope we're not interrupting,« Neil said and looked at Audrey and then at Jared.

»No, not at all. You're just on time. I was just telling Jared about the crazy operation I had with dr. Andrews the other day,« Audrey answered.

»I almost forgot that this hospital gets the craziest surgeries to deal with,« Jared answered and smiled.

The whole situation was surreal. Everybody in the room knew how awkward the situation is but everyone pretended like everything is fine and normal, that Jared is just an ordinary patient with whom they didn't have a connection from the past.

»Well, but that's probably the reason that you decided you want to be operated here. Compared to other hospitals in the country, we are by far the best. But you know that already since you had the honor to work here,« Morgan said to him and Neil immediately shot her a disapproving look, as everyone immediately sensed the sarcastic tone of her voice.

»Yes, dr. Reznick, you're right. The other reason is that I wanted to see your friendly face again,« Jared answered with the same tone and forced a smile letting her know she wasn't a person that he was glad to see again.

Morgan smiled back at him and restrained herself from rolling her eyes. There was no secret that they never liked each other. Yes, they were professional when they worked together in the past but that was it.

»Well, I will leave you with Jared so that you can talk about everything and decide the course of treatment. And I think I don't need to tell you that you are in very capable hands,« she said to Jared and looked at Neil to let him know he has her support.

Claire watched Jared lying on the bed and felt as if the whole situation was just a dream. At the sound of the door closing as Audrey left the room, she shuddered. To be in the same room with Jared after what happened between them was harder than she initially thought. She remembered the time when she liked Jared, yes, she had never loved him, but he was still important to her at some point in her life. Furthermore, she always felt guilty somehow that she was the reason he had problems at this hospital and was therefore fired, even though she never asked him to defend her when all the drama with dr. Coyle happened. Though she had felt affection for him in the past, she didn't feel it now. In her head, she could still hear his words he had said to her when they were at the bar that night.

_»Why are you doing this to yourself?«_

_»Doing what?« Claire asked him irritated._

_She just wanted that Jared would leave her alone since she came to the bar to drink alone and forget about the fight she had with the one man that she truly cared about. She cursed Morgan in her head that she couldn't join her. If she was here Jared wouldn't start this conversation._

_»This. Look at you. This relationship that you are in is not good for you. He is not good for you,« Jared answered her with a worried expression on his face._

_»Jared, you didn't see me for months, almost two years actually. What makes you think that you know what is good for me? And how can you even express your opinion on my relationship with Neil? You don't know anything about us,« she said calmly and took another sip of her cocktail in front of her._

_»Neil … God, it sounds weird hearing you call him by his name. I am really curious about how it happened. You and him. When I heard doctors at my hospital talking about you two being together, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I thought it was a joke.«_

_»Well, it isn't a joke. It's very much true and I am not gonna tell you how everything happened just to satisfy your curiosity, and honestly, it doesn't concern you.«_

_»Claire, he will ruin you. Your career that you are working so hard to build. Do you really think that a relationship with him won't affect how others see you? What do you think it looks like when you, a resident, are in a relationship with your boss?«_

_»Enlighten me,« Claire said and looked at him, instructing the waiter behind the bar counter to bring her another cocktail._

_»Claire, don't make me say it.«_

_»What? Tell me. You started this conversation, now finish it. Tell me what you really think. Tell me how others see me and my relationship with Neil,« she said defiantly._

_»Well, they think you are whoring yourself around with him to gain a position in the hospital after your residency ends.«_

_Claire smiled at herself and drank the cocktail that the waiter just put in front of her in one go._

_»Whoring myself,« she whispered after the liquor ran down her throat._

_She suddenly felt like her drink was too sweet and not strong enough given the situation and the conversation that was happening between her and Jared. She thought that she should probably switch to whiskey. Yes, whiskey is strong enough to get her through this so she ordered it._

_»Claire, stop drinking,« Jared said to her and she raised her hand to signal him to shut up._

_»Is that also your opinion? Do you think I am whoring myself around with him?«_

_»I think he is using you.«_

_»Using me? For what? Sex? That is a good one. He could have any woman he wanted, but he chose me because …«_

_»… because it's exciting for him. For him, this is a game. It isn't his career that it's at stake. He won't get hurt after this thing between you two is over. But on the other hand, you are always going to be marked as a resident that was sleeping with her boss. No one will ever take you seriously.«_

_»You really think that little of me? That I have to sleep with him to achieve something?«_

_»Well, c'mon … he suggested you for the position of Chief Resident a few weeks after you two announced that you are together. Don't you think that's weird?«_

_»Coincidence. And just so you know, I am the best candidate for the position. I am just that good.«_

_»If only others would see it like that. One surgeon in our hospital even said that Melendez saw you as a challenge just like dr. Coyle, and unlike Coyle, he succeeded._

_Claire looked at him in disbelief._

_»You are comparing Neil and Coyle? How dare you? Coyle harassed me!«_

_»Well, Melendez isn't much bett…«_

_»…just stop! Stop talking! Who do you think you are?! I don't care about your opinion. I don't care about the opinions of the surgeons you work with. They never saw me, they don't know me. They are just talking about me and Neil in that way because they judge others by how they would act. I wonder what kind of attitude this surgeon you mentioned has towards women. He probably sees female residents as the opportunity to have some fun with them, right? But guess what, not all are like him. Neil loves me, you hear me? He loves me! And he is the only man I ever truly loved in my life and that is all that matters.«_

_»You are so naive. Sooner or later this thing between you two will end,« Jared whispered and shook his head disapprovingly._

_Claire drank the whiskey that burned in her throat and thought about the fact that she really didn't understand how Neil could like this drink so much. The taste was too strong for her. She closed her eyes for a second and felt that her head was spinning pleasantly. It wasn't her intention to get this drunk. She probably wouldn't drink a drink after drink if Jared wouldn't approach her and start this stupid conversation with her. She needed to leave. She wanted to go home so she could see him. Suddenly he was the only person she wanted to be around. She slowly got up from the barstool and quickly realized that drinking so much alcohol was not a good idea. Standing up she felt as if the room around her was spinning. Her legs were soft and she grabbed the bar counter with her hand to not lose her balance. Searching for her purse she felt how Jared's tall figure stepped closer to her and suddenly she felt how he placed his hand on the small of her back. She flinched at the touch and took a step away from him._

_»Don't touch me,« she said picking up her purse from the floor._

_»Let me take you home,« Jared suggested._

_»No thank you.«_

_»You can't drive in the state you're in.«_

_»I don't need you to take care of me or be concerned about me.«_

_»Then at least let me call a cab for you.«_

_»Don't worry Jared. I have my boss on speed dial, and I am sure he'll come running to come to look for me since he is probably already impatiently waiting for my call, wanting to have some fun with me ... and don't worry, I'll make sure to fuck him well tonight. After all, I have to make sure that I actually become the Chief Resident and that the whole thing doesn't just stay as a suggestion from his side. And just what could be a better way to achieve that than to jump into bed with him again, right?«_

_Claire's words came like a flood and she uttered it all out before she even realized what was coming out of her mouth._

_»Claire, I didn't wan…«_

_»Good night Jared,« she said turning toward the exit of the bar._

_When she stepped on the street she felt the cold wind that wrapped her body. The night was cold and she was not dressed enough since she left the apartment in a hurry wanting to run away from an argument. Looking at her phone she clicked on Neil's name and after only one ringing she heard his voice._

_»Claire, where are you? I left you messages,« she heard a worried voice on the other side of the phone._

_»You know … I really like it … no, wait … I love it when you care so much about me,« Claire said into the phone, her tongue tangling from all the alcohol she drank._

_»How much did you drink?«_

_»Enough that I forgot all about our argument and now I just want to jump your bones off.«_

_»Claire, where are you? Is Morgan with you?« Neil said not commenting on her flirtatious remark._

_»Nope, nope … she isn't … Miss Reznick had more important things to do than to spend the night with a mess like me.«_

_»Claire, this is the last time I am asking. Where are you?«_

_»Gosh, you are so bossy. You should be like this more often, it really turns me on. I'm at our favourite bar … can you pick me up with your beloved Tesla? And hurry, because I am so freaking cold and I really need to pee.«_

_»I'll be right there,« he said and hung up the phone._

_It had been just under ten minutes when he arrived, parked by the sidewalk, and stepped out of the car toward her._

_»Claire, why didn't you wait for me inside? It's so cold tonight. Are you ok?« he said and quickly took off his jacket, wrapping it around Claire's shaking shoulders._

_Claire looked at him from head to toe as if he was a gift that someone had delivered to her doorstep, and she liked what she saw. He was wearing jeans and a white sweater that brought out his brown eyes and his dark hair. The only thing she could really think at that moment was how handsome he was, and that no matter how hard things got between them he was the only person that she always wanted to be next too no matter what._

_»Me? I'm fine, thanks for asking. I'm a little drunk and now … right now that you are standing here on me … I mean, in front of me … all this alcohol is making me horny … can we have sex?« she asked bluntly and directly like she would ask him how was the weather._

_Neil was looking at her not knowing what to think. On the one hand, he was worried about how much she drank, and wanted to scold her about it, on the other hand, she looked so cute with those big beautiful green eyes that were staring back at him with adoration and desire, that he simply couldn't be angry with her. As he watched at the drunken Claire in front of him, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders._

_»Why are you thinking so much, hmm? I know you want to fu…«_

_»…did you drank whiskey?« he suddenly said before Claire could finish her dirty sentence because he could smell the smell of whiskey in her breath and God knew he needed to stop her from talking dirty to him._

_»Yes, I did. So, you didn't answer my question …«_

_»Jesus Claire, for someone that is drunk as you are right now, you sure have a good memory.«_

_»Well, I remember the important stuff and sex is important, isn't it?«_

_Neil smiled at her and hugged her tighter._

_»Yes, it is. Let's make a deal. If you won't fall asleep on the way home, we can have sex. I will give you the night you will remember forever even though you are so drunk,« he said laughing convinced that she will fall asleep in the first minute she gets into a warm car._

_»Deal,« she said with enthusiasm and Neil smiled at her determination but unfortunately for her, and well, for him too, he was right, because she did fall asleep and that promise that Neil made will have to wait to be fulfilled another time._

_The next morning Claire couldn't even remember how she got into the apartment last night. When she woke up in the morning she was in her pajamas wrapped in the embrace of a man she loved madly. She looked at his sleeping face thinking that she will never allow anything or anyone to destroy the most precious thing she has in her life. Her relationship with Neil._

Claire's thoughts were disturbed by Neil's voice.

»Well, you know us three so I will skip the introduction, but this right here is dr. Henry White. He is a first-year resident that joined us this week,« Neil introduced Henry to Jared and Jared nodded in greeting.

»Nice to meet you,« Jared answered and Henry gave him a small nod.

»So, anterior cruciate ligament of third grade. What were you doing?« Neil asked without a sign of discomfort in his voice.

»A friendly football match between family members turned into a very painful one for me,« Jared answered.

»May I?« Neil asked stepping closer to Jared and pointed with his finger at his leg, which was covered with a blanket.

»Yes, of course,« Jared answered and uncovered his leg and at that moment they could all feel that the atmosphere in the room is getting more tense.

Henry was looking at Jared suspiciously like he wouldn't trust him. Well, he didn't know what happened between him, dr. Browne and his boss, what was the reason for their disagreements and who is to blame for them, but somehow he had a bad vibe about the man in front of him.

»What do we see here?« Neil asked and looked at his residents.

»The area around the knee is quite swollen. Is the size of the swelling like this all the time since the injury happened or is it spreading?« Morgan asked.

»It's like this all the time.«

»How is the pain?« Henry asked.

»At first it was bearable, but now it is getting worse.«

»Did you already take some painkillers?« Claire joined the discussion and got tense when Jared looked at her.

»No, not yet,« he said and there was a small and friendly smile on his face when he answered her.

Neil performed a physical examination of Jared's knee to check all the structures of the injured site. Meanwhile, he kept explaining what he was doing, which Henry listened to with interest. Morgan looked bored and Claire tried to tell herself in her mind that she needed to relax.

»Ok, we will do imaging tests today. Dr. Browne, dr. White, I want x-rays and an MRI scan.«

»I already had the tests at the hospital where I was first brought,« Jared said and reached for the folder that was on the locker next to his bed.

Neil looked at him, took the folder, and without looking at what's inside gave the folder to Morgan.

»I will do my own tests. When you're going to be done with imaging, we will discuss the treatment process. It shouldn't take more than two hours that we will have everything we need. Dr. White and dr. Browne will take you now to the radiology,« Neil said and turned around to leave.

»Dr. Melendez, can we have a minute,« Jared suddenly said and Neil stood ground.

»Yes, of course,« he said and showed the other three residents that they can leave, holding his gaze on Claire longer to tell her silently she doesn't have to worry. 

When the door closed Neil looked at Jared and he tried really hard to not show his annoyance and the fact he wanted to be anywhere else instead of in this hospital room with a guy whos intentions he didn't know.

»Do you have any questions about your case?«

»No, not really,« Jared answered.

»Then we have nothing else to discuss,« Neil said and again tried to leave.

»It's about Claire,« Jared said and Neil took a deep breath.

»You two are still a thing, right?«

»A thing? Yes, we are still a thing,« Neil answered wearily.

»I wanted to tell you that I found out that O'Connor San Jose Hospital is opening a special program that will last for two years. It's meant for surgeons after they finish their residency and with this program, they have more possibility to get the permanent job as attending doctors in the best hospitals in the country.«

»What does this have to do with Claire? And why are you telling me all of this?«  
»Her residency is going to be over here in just a few months.«

»So?«

»You can't really think that the board will approve that she stays here as an attending doctor, don't you?«

 _Here we go agai_ n, Neil thought.

»I see no reason why San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital wouldn't keep her. Furthermore, why would they send her to another hospital where she would use all the knowledge she gained here? The board would have to be crazy to send such talent elsewhere. Hospitals care about the money, it's just the way it is, so they make sure that they keep surgeons that are the best in their field. After all, good surgeons are the ones who attract patients like you who are willing to pay for the best care.«

»This isn't about her talent. I know she is talented. This is about you.«

»Me?«

»Yes, you. The relationship you have with her will affect their decision. You have to let her go before it's too late.«

»You know what, cut the bullshit and tell me what is really the reason you are telling me all of this.«

»I'm just worried for her, for her career because I … I love her,« Jared answered and Neil's clenched his jaw but decided he won't react or comment on those last three words that Jared said.

»And what? You think that you can brainwash her and scare her with your bullshit ideas to the point that she will start thinking she should go to another hospital?«

»I'm just being realistic.«

»No, you're just a guy that doesn't know how to take no for an answer. I know that this isn't just about Claire's career. Your main goal is to break us apart. You know, I'm not stupid and I won't let you jerk me around. Since you mentioned this program … I bet that you will apply for it and now you want to drag Claire with you, but guess what … You didn't manage to tear us apart when our relationship was still fresh, why do you think you could do it now when Claire and I are stronger than ever? You are saying that you are being realistic? Really? Do you really think Claire will listen to you after all this time that passed since you two were close? Moreover, I made sure that through all of these years that she is working with me I didn't teach her just about the surgical field but I made sure that I thought her how to appreciate herself and her knowledge and how to make good use of it. Her talent is her power and no hospital would say no to her. And just so you know, it's not your job to be concerned about her career, it's not your job to plan what path she should follow, it's not even my job to do that. Claire is a woman that knows what she wants in life and she knows how to achieve it. She doesn't need anyone to decide instead of her. Not you, me or anyone else.«

»Yes, I will apply for that program and yes I want that she does it too because then she will have an option in case if things don't work out here for her, which they probably won't.«

»Jared, Claire will be an attending surgeon in this hospital in just a few months. There is no doubt about it. I've heard about this program you've mentioned and well … I am not fond of it. It is a safe option for those who don't have a job on the horizon that would wait for them in the same hospital they finished their residency. I guess you have trouble in Denver since you are coming back here searching for opportunities. Well, guess what, Claire doesn't have this problem. She doesn't need a second class program as a safe option,« Neil said and he could see how Jared's face turned serious like he was actually offended.

»I will fight for her,« Jared suddenly said.

If Jared thought these words could get to Neil, he was wrong. Neil felt nothing when he heard his words. No despair, no discomfort, and certainly no jealousy. He was calm and confidant because he knew that he and Claire were in a good place. They were a strong, inseparable, and insanely in love couple.

»And they call me arrogant and full of myself,« Neil said to him and put his hands into his pants pockets, straightened up, and on his face sat a confidant smile.

»You can fight for her all you want. But just so you know, it's going to be a short fight or better yet, there won't be a fight at all. You know why? Because I already won,« Neil said confidently, turned around and left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you like the most about this chapter? Please leave a comment with your review. 🙏 It means the world. 🤗❤️


	10. What does he have that I don't?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read it and find out what the chapter is all about. 😉🤗

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers!
> 
> First of all … WOW, I can't believe that I reached 2000+ hits with my fanfiction. I take that as a really big achievement. Thank you so much to everyone that reads my story. When I posted the first chapter, I had no idea that you will like this story so much, that you will like my writing. Furthermore, I have never imagined that I will get such good reviews and so many lovely, encouraging comments. I am so grateful for everything. Every time I see a notification for a new comment I get so excited. You have no idea how much a review means to a writer. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! 💖
> 
> Ok, so here it is. I can't believe that we are at chapter 10 already! This is such a long chapter. When I finished it and saw that I have 24 pages I was shocked. I think that this chapter is quite special. I didn't even know how to write a summary for it because there is so many different situations in it. I really hope that you will like it. 😍🤗
> 
> Enjoy reading it! 😊
> 
> Sarah

_Claire stood in front of the bed in her small bedroom. The bed was covered with a variety of her clothes, which Claire observed critically, thinking about what to wear. It was funny to her that she was so worried about it. After all, he is only coming to visit, they have no intention of going anywhere. She has to choose something comfortable, something that won’t show that she’s trying too hard, but that she will still look beautiful. She definitely won't wear regular tracksuit. She stared at the clothes on the bed and her eyes stopped at the loose green dress. No, that's too much, she thought, shaking her head in disapproval. Her hand reached for the new comfy jeans she had bought just a week ago simply because when she tried them on she realized that they made her bum look so much better. She smiled and placed a turquoise blouse next to the jeans to see if she liked the combination._

_»Casual but chick,« she whispered and nodded to herself in agreement, »and now something for the confidence,« she said to herself again holding up in front of her white lace underwear._

_»Well, I won't let him see this. At least not tonight,« she whispered to herself again and felt how her cheeks flushed at the thought of him seeing her just in this tiny underwear._

_Everything was still completely fresh between her and Neil. It has been just two weeks since he was released from the hospital and he will be coming to her apartment for the first time tonight. For the last two weeks, she was staying at his place with him most of the time since he was still weak, especially in the first weak out of the hospital. Now, two weeks later he was becoming more stubborn and tired of his apartment, so they decided that he will drove himself to Claire's place just to change the scenery a little bit. He still needed some time to get into the shape he was in before his injury but he was getting there. Slowly but surely. Claire was nervous. She spent the whole day tidying up her apartment, thinking about how everything would go. What will he think of her small apartment given that he has a luxurious apartment? She knew it didn't matter to Neil, but she was still curious about what he would look like in her small, cozy apartment, where she enjoyed spending her free time. She never really imagined she could ever see him at her home. Even though she felt relaxed next to Neil, even now that they had already admitted what they felt for each other and everything was out on the open, it felt kind of weird that she fell in love with her boss._ _It was different. Even though they spent a lot of time together for the last two weeks she had no idea what their relationship will look like when they will return to the real world outside of their apartments. How will they find a balance between their emotions and their job was the main question Claire was asking herself every day._

_Even though they knew how they felt about each other, they had still been very careful around each other for the past two weeks. As if they were afraid they will cross a line that they shouldn't. They tiptoed around each other as if the world would come crashing down if they took their relationship forward. She thought of the moment on the balcony in the hospital when they confessed that they love each other, she hugged him afterward and leaned her forehead against his. At that moment, she was so close to his lips that she had wanted to kiss for so long, but so far they had not crossed that line. What if they are going to kiss tonight, she thought. The thought of kissing him made her body tremble. Even though she longed for him, always wanting to feel his presence, she was also glad that things between them were going slowly. Not just because of his recovery, but also because of her. All her life she was used to people leaving her life as fast as they came in it. She didn't want it to be the same with Neil._

_»God Claire, get yourself together. Just be natural. Just be like you always are,« she whispered to her reflection in the mirror._

_The sound of the doorbell made her jump and she looked at herself in the mirror one more time. She had a gentle make-up and her unruly hair tied at the sides with hairpins. She looked cute, and she felt insecure, like she was fifteen years old all over again and didn’t know how to behave around a guy she really liked. She stepped toward the entrance doors and opened it._

_And there he was. Her boss, who was no longer just her boss. He was dressed in gray jeans and a white T-shirt that fitted his torso perfectly. The shirt had a v-neckline, which revealed his tattoo even more than usual. Oh God, help me, she thought and found she was holding her breath. She immediately noticed that he had his hair cut. When she was leaving his apartment last night his hair was still longer since he spent weeks in a hospital and then two weeks at home. The three-day beard he had let himself grow during the time he was home was now gone. Looking at him she realized that he is his old self again._

_»May I come in or are you just going to let me stand here?« Neil asked her with a little smile on his face and his eyes quickly, most likely hoping she wouldn't notice, looked at Claire from head to toe, making Claire feel even more nervous._

_What is he thinking, she questioned herself in her thoughts._

_»Oh, yes, come in,« Claire said when she finally collected her thoughts, and moved to the side so he could enter._

_Claire closed the door and when she turned, he was standing right in front of her. The hallway was too small for both of them to part at the same time, and Neil slowly stepped aside so she was able to step forward._

_»Since you said you don't want to cook me dinner, I brought food from that Italian place that you like so much,« Neil said and lifted a bag of food into the air._

_»_ _Not that I wouldn’t want to cook dinner for you but believe me, if the earthquake didn’t kill you, my food will for sure,« Claire answered and that made Neil laugh out loud and Claire's tension and awkwardness were washed away for a second by the sound of him laughing._

_»It can't be that bad.«_

_»You have no idea,« Claire said and laid the food he brought on to the kitchen counter, turning to the kitchen elements to get them their plates._

_»Let me help you,« he said and suddenly he was beside her trying to take the plates away from her but she didn't let them go, feeling dizzy by how close he was to her._

_It wasn't the first time they were so close. But this time, him being in her apartment, it felt different. They both knew even if they didn't say it out loud that this really felt like their first date as a couple. This wasn't Claire being with him to take care of him and help him with his recovery. They weren't hanging out as platonic friends this time. No, this felt like a real date and it felt even more intimate since they were at home and not somewhere outside. Claire's nose was enveloped by the scent of the perfume that he had never used when he was at work. Standing in her small kitchen, each of them holding plates on their sides, looking at each other it didn't feel just a little awkward. It also made her feel excited and calm at the same time. She realized that she likes having him at her home._

_»Why are you so nervous?« he suddenly whispered._

_»I'm not,« she answered him and slowly let go of the plates._

_»Do I make you nervous?«_

_»No.«_

_»Then why are you acting all weird and why are your hands shaking?«_

_»I didn't eat for the whole day. I really need to eat and then I will feel better.«_

_Neil smiled at her answer, set the plates down, and Claire suddenly felt how he wrapped his arm around her waist, and pulled her close to him. Claire went numb, her heart beating faster with every second, and her gaze escaped to his lips._

_»It's just us. You don't have to be nervous about anything,« he whispered to her and touched the tips of her hair with his free hand._

_»I'm nervous because I'm not used to having you so close to me in this way. Everything feels different,« she whispered and decided that a little courage won't kill her so she placed her hands gently on his upper arms, slowly moving them up and crossing them behind his neck._

_All the feelings, all the sensations that she felt at that moment, were new to her. She remembers that after a few months of hanging out with him when he helped her with grieving her mother's death, one night she just caught herself dreaming and fantasizing about him. Fantasizing in a way she shouldn't. She never even dared to think that she could find herself close to him like tonight. She didn't dare to think that just maybe he also had his own fantasies about her. She never believed that something between them could happen for real. The feeling of him holding her close and her hands never wanting to let go of him was just the beginning of what they wanted from each other. Yes, she was nervous and awkward next to him, but that didn’t mean she was blind. She noticed the way he was looking at her, she saw that longing look in his eyes many times in the last two weeks. She also knew that even if he doesn't show it, he is also nervous and a little insecure. Now, being together in her little kitchen, they were finally able to indulge their feelings, they didn’t have to hide the attraction they had felt for each other for months now._

_»You know, I have a way to make you relax,« he whispered and her heart started pounding even faster, harder, and she was sure that he could feel it since he was holding her close to his chest._

_Claire looked him in his eyes and saw that he had a mischievous smile on his face. What was he insinuating?_

_»Don't,« he suddenly whispered._

_»What?« Claire asked confused._

_»Don't let your mind go there.«_

_»Where?«_

_»I know what you're thinking.«_

_»How could you possibly know what I am thinking?«_

_»I am not that kind of guy. You will have to take me on at least, I don't know, three more dates if you want to get me naked,« Neil said and pressed her even closer._

_Claire stopped breathing and looked at him in surprise._

_»It's your mind that just went there, not mine,« she said and smiled feeling her cheeks blushing, »plus, you are the one with the seductive smile on your face looking at me longingly,« she added and smiled at him._

_»Guilty,« he whispered acknowledging, »but seriously, I just had a glass of wine in mind. Wine will definitely relax you a little bit. It's in the bag next to the food,« he said and slowly let Claire go so she could step to the bag with the food and wine._

_»Wow, you have expensive taste,« Claire said when she held up the bottle of wine._

_»Well, since you are a very cheap date when it comes to food, something has to be fancy,« he said, winking at her, taking the bottle of wine from her hands and putting it in the freezer for a few minutes to cool it down a little._

_»But you still can't drink, you know that, right?« Claire said._

_»I know, dr. Browne, don't worry. I know that mixing meds and alcohol isn't a good idea. But well, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy this delicious bottle of wine.«_

_»I'm really glad you're here,« Claire said when he turned around to look at her with a smile on his lips._

_»Me too,« he answered._

_During dinner, the tension between them disappeared. Claire felt relaxed and she didn't know if the delicious wine was to blame or if it was just Neil's presence that always made her feel comfortable. His soothing voice, his laugh … those little things calmed her down. They both enjoyed the natural feeling that was present when they were next to each other. Claire always felt that she can be herself with him. She never had to pretend to be someone else or hide parts of herself because Neil knew good and bad things about her. He knew exactly what were her pros and cons._

_»God, this wine, it's so good,« she whispered and closed her eyes to enjoy the flavour._

_»I had it for quite some time. I was saving it for a special occasion,« Neil said before putting the last bite of pasta in his mouth._

_»Special occasion? This is a special occasion?« Claire sad curiously and looked at him._

_»Yes, this is our first date as a couple, isn't it? I mean, dinners at the hospital or later at my place when I looked as if I was homeless and when I was still a little high most of the time because of the amount of meds I was taking, I wouldn't count as proper dates even though I enjoyed that time with you all the same,« he answered and smiled at her._

_»Our first date, I really like the sound of it,« Claire said back and she couldn't miss how his eyes sparkled and how his lips curled into a satisfied smile._

_When they tidied up the dining room and kitchen together, it was already late._

_»I think it's time that I go home,« Neil said and Claire looked at him thinking if she should say what she wanted to say._

_»You could stay … if … if you want,« she said cautiously._

_»I could, I would love to stay but I am going to be a gentleman and I will stick to the rules of dating.«_

_»The rules of dating? Seriously? I stayed over at your place for the last two weeks now and in your bed actually, next to you. So what is the difference if you stay here?« Claire asked him with a loving smile on her face._

_»You were taking care of me, that is why you stayed. I can't stay now because … honestly, I don't trust myself with you,« he whispered, and at that moment, there it was again, that damn sexual tension between them._

_»Oh Neil, now you are the one who has thoughts in his head that are waaay to confident. You said that I will have to take you to more dates to see you naked and you think that I will just give it to you without you having to work for it? Please …« she said to him with a voice that captivated him._

_»Believe me, you wouldn't be able to resist me.«_

_»Gosh … the arrogance,« she whispered back to him._

_»You love it,« he said smiling, taking his jacket and getting dressed._

_»Drive safe,« Claire said when they reached the entrance door._

_»I will text you when I get home.«_

_»Ok,« Claire said looking at his back while he opened the door but suddenly he froze and as she was about to ask him what was wrong he suddenly closed the door again and turned around to look at her._

_»Did you change your mind about staying?« she asked with a flirtatious smile on her face._

_»No, but there is one thing that I want to do before I leave.«_

_»Yeah? What's that?« she asked him and somehow she knew, and her heart started pounding faster._

_He slowly stepped back towards her, took her face between his palms and Claire began to move back with him until he gently pushed her against the wall. His eyes were focused on her slightly parted lips and he could feel how her breath hitched as he gently touched her lower lip with his thumb._

_»If only you knew how many times I imagined kissing you,« he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers._

_»What are you waiting for then?« she whispered back and slid her fingers into his hair at the back of his neck making his body shiver._

_When his soft and warm lips gently touched hers, she had a feeling that time stopped. His kiss was cautious, restrained at first but Claire felt how that caution began to fade when she gently and carefully, having in mind that his abdomen probably still hurts, pressed herself against him, and wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders to pull him even closer to her body. She felt his tongue touch her lower lip and at that moment a feeling of bliss and satisfaction flooded through her body. Her body responded and her lips parted, allowing him to deepen the kiss and Claire was not even aware of the moan that escaped her mouth. Claire felt how fingers of his left hand tangled in her soft curls and she felt how his other hand was slowly but firmly going down her back all the way to her buttock. He gently squeezed one of her buttcheeks at first, but the next moment she felt how he pressed her against his crotch, making her feel like if her knees weren't strong enough to hold her up much longer. She moaned again with pleasure thinking that this was so much better than she ever imagined, and her head fell back against the wall, interrupting the kiss for a moment. She looked at him and saw how his pupils were completely dilated from arousal, his breathing was fast and heavy just like hers and she thought about the fact that they went from zero to hundred in just a few seconds._

_»You should stay,« Claire whispered to him, and at that moment when she heard her trembling whisper she realized how desperate she sounded._

_»You really think that is a good idea?« he said back while his hand found it's way under her blouse making her arch her back towards him and at the same time his lips found their way to her neck._

_Claire closed her eyes and bit her lip to keep from moaning again._

_»Just stay, please …« she whispered pleadingly._

_Neil looked at her again and there was a satisfying arrogant smile on his face that Claire liked so much._

_»Is this begging I hear? You see? I was right before. You are not able to resist me,« he whispered giving her one more light kiss on her lips before slowly moving away and Claire felt as if she had lost a part of herself when he withdrew from her._

_»Yes, I'm begging and I bet you like how desperate I sound, don't you?«_

_»Very much.«_

_»I feel so naughty … making out with my hot boss,« she said smiling at him._

_»You think I'm hot?«_

_»I think you are ridiculously hot,« she said back and she got a big smile from him, the kind of smile she never saw when they were at work, a smile that took her breath away._

_»You're not bad yourself,« he said back to her and stepped towards the entrance door again._

_»Good night Claire. Dream of me,« he said and gave her a gentle smile._

_»After a kiss like this how could I not dream of you?«_

*******

»For someone whose ex-boyfriend is lying on the MRI-desk, you look surprisingly calm and content,« Henry suddenly said when he saw Claire smiling while she was looking at the monitor in front of her lost in her thoughts.

»He is not my ex-boyfriend. He was just …«

»Co-worker with benefits?«

»Yes. That's the best way that I can describe it, and I am calm. I don't know why. I guess I am confident about myself and my relationship.«

»That's good. You shouldn't let anyone from the past dictate your life.«

»It sounds like you're talking from experience,« Claire said and looked at him.

»Well, I do have a crazy ex-girlfriend that doesn't leave me alone. I hope she will get tired of being annoying.«

»I guess you dumped her if she is after you.«

»Yup …«

Claire was curious about what happened between Henry and his ex. She wanted to found out also because of Morgan but she decided that she won't ask him. After all, some things were personal.

»You know, it doesn't even annoy me that he wants me back. I mean, he can beg and he can pursue me all he wants. He won't achieve anything. The thing that annoys me the most is the way he does it. The way he speaks about my relationship with Neil, the arguments he uses to get what he wants,« Claire said and suddenly realized that she just confessed her thoughts to a guy that she barely knows but there was something about Henry that gave her the feeling he was worth her trust.

»When I was 22 I worked in the gym as a personal trainer. I met this woman, Brigitte. She was my client and well, we fell in love.«

»Is this Brigitte the ex you were talking about?«

»No, no, that is another story. So, Brigitte and I … we fell hard for each other but she was 15 years older than me so you can imagine how people reacted.«

»Well, Neil is also 11 years older than me.«

»Yes, but people think it's normal if a man is older but if a woman is older … well, that is unacceptable.«

»That's stupid.«

»Agree.«

»So you broke up because of what people were saying?«

»Yes. Brigitte could not stand the pressure, especially from my family.«

»You're family didn't support you two?«

»No.«

»That's harsh.«

»What about your family? Do they support you and dr. Melendez?«

»I don't have any family. I mean … Neil is my family, and Morgan,« Claire said smiling and hoped that Henry won't ask her about her parents or other relatives.

He didn't. That is one more thing she really liked about him. He wasn't nosy. There was silence between them and they both thought to themselves that they had similar experiences.

»You and dr. Melendez are doing great. As long as you both know what you want, each other, you're going to be fine no matter what other people say. You just have to stick together. Moreover, just so you know, people don't talk just nasty and bad things about you two. In the last year of my medical school, I worked in four different hospitals as a student and I heard quite a lot of good things about him and you from so many doctors that know people don't choose who they love. And by the way, my female co-students even applaud you, saying that, and I quote, _dr. Browne is such a lucky girl, I would also immediately be with this hot, attractive badass surgeon if I could_ ,« Henry said and smiled at Claire.

»I bet they would,« she whispered and laughed.

»Ok, the imaging is done. Its ACL, third grade,« Henry suddenly changed the subject and they both looked at the screens.

»Melendez will have quite some work with this,« Claire said.

»Yes, he will.«

»Can you take the patient back to his room and then come to the residents' lounge?« Claire said trying to avoid Jared as much as possible.

»Yes, sure. Meet you there,« Henry said and Claire left the room.

When Neil came into the residents' lounge, Morgan, Claire and Henry were already waiting for him.

»Ok, what did the imaging show?« Neil asked them, sitting down in his chair and Morgan turned the screen with the images towards him.

»Well, MRI just confirmed that Kalu has ACL of third grade. The X-ray showed that there is no bone injury of any kind so that is a good thing.«

»So, what is the plan? Dr. White?« Neil asked casually and turned in his chair toward Henry, who looked at Morgan and Claire with a little bit of uncertainty in his eyes and two fifth-year residents were looking at him curiously, wondering how he was going to answer.

»Well, the ligament must be reconstructed which we can do in a way that we replace a torn ligament with a tissue graft. The graft will act as scaffolding so that a new ligament can grow on it.«

»Wow, you sound like you just came out of medical school,« Morgan said and smiled.

Henry looked at her and then at Neil that was serious not acting on Morgan's remark. He was in his boss mode.

»From where can we obtain the grafts?« he asked forward.

»Most often they are taken from the patellar tendon, which runs between the kneecap and the shinbone.«

»What about the type of the procedure?«

»I would go for arthroscopic surgery. It's less invasive. And advantages are also that patient feels less pain from the surgery, recovery time is quicker and patient spents less time in the hospital after the surgery,« Henry explained and Neil nodded.

»Less time spent in the hospital after the surgery is definitely an advantage in this case. Not just for the patient but also for us. The sooner he is gone, the better,« Morgan said.

»Reznick, stop with the remarks. Stay professional,« Neil said seriously and Morgan fell silent.

»Dr. White, you can present to the patient our findings and what we decided when it comes to the surgical procedure. The operation is scheduled for tomorrow at 11 AM,« Neil ordered and got up from the chair.

»Me?« Henry suddenly asked in surprise.

»Yes, you. Is there a problem?«

»No, not a problem,« Henry quickly answered.

»Browne, go with him. Oh, and also give him the consent papers to sign. Reznick, you are with me. We have to do a last check-up on Mrs. Morrison before we discharge her. She said that she wants to see her badass lead surgeon dr. Reznick before she goes. I guess you got under her skin,« Neil said and all three of them got up from their chair.

Claire and Henry were walking towards Jared's room when Henry broke the silence.

»Were my answers to dr. Melendez's questions even ok? I mean, he didn't say anything. He didn't comment about it.«

»White, if they wouldn't be ok, you would know. Melendez rarely praises or glorifies someone's work. Especially when you are a first-year resident. When you will earn his trust and when you will show that you know what you are doing, that will change. The fact he stays quiet and doesn't say anything, just tells you, you answered ok. Him sending you to talk to the patient is a sign that you are doing great. It's a win for you,« Claire explained and remembered how hard it was for her in the first year of her residency at this hospital.

But that was just the way it was. You had to prove yourself. When you did, when you showed you are good, that you know what you're doing, that you have the knowledge and your own ideas and that you are not afraid to present them, you've got more respect from attending doctors, and with time they let you know directly you are doing a good job. But at the begginning, they always have this distance from residents. It had to be known who had the authority. Claire never took that as a bad thing. Even now, as she was near the end of her residency, when she already prooved herself so many times, she still had so much respect for Neil as a surgeon. She knew he will always be this badass surgeon in her eyes no matter how good she becomes. She will always look at him as the authority.

As they came into Jared's room Claire's pager went off.

»They are calling me into the ER,« Claire said and in the next minute, she was also called to the ER through the speaker which was always a sign that the situation is serious.

»Dr. White, explain everything about what we discussed and decided when it comes to the surgery. I'll be back as soon as possible,« Claire said and Henry nodded.

Henry started to explain everything to Jared.

Neil heard that Claire was called into the ER and he decided to join Henry with Morgan since they just discharged their patient. Neil wanted to see how Henry will handle everything on its own. There was no secret that he always tried to push his residents. Give them tasks that were at that moment maybe too much for them to handle but he truly believed that this way made them grow faster. That way they became better. A person is always capable of more than she really believes. Through the years he saw that this kind of mentoring is good and that it brings good results.

When they were just two steps from Jared's rooms doors, Neil heard Jared's question. He stopped, holding back Morgan as well. She looked at him in confusion and when she saw how he's attention was caught by the conversation in the room she got curious too.

»So, you are a new resident on Melendez's service?« Jared asked while Henry gave him consent papers to sign.

»Yes.«

»Do you like working for him?«

»I've been here for just three days. So far, so good.«

»Don't you find him arrogant and full of himself?«

»When a person is that good at something as he is at being a surgeon, I guess arrogance can be justified.«

Morgan smiled at Henry's remark. She said something similar in the past about dr. Han. She also believed that being arrogant about your job or having a big ego doesn't have to be a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with it if you can back it up.

»Well, I didn't like his arrogance when I worked for him,« Jared said.

»But you like his surgical skills if you chose him as your surgeon.«

Jared didn't comment on that remark.

»Doesn't it bother you that he is dating a resident?«

»Chief resident,« Henry corrected him.

»That doesn't really matter. She's still a resident.«

Henry was getting tense. He didn't want to have this conversation. He thought it was stupid and that the question Jared was asking was inappropriate.

»You didn't answer my question. C'mon, even if you are here for just three days, you surely have an opinion when it comes to them. Everybody has an opinion on them,« Jared insisted.

»Relationship of dr. Melendez and dr. Browne is not my business. As long as they are professional and fair towards me and other residents, I don't have a problem with them. Furthermore, you want to hear my opinion? I think that people should just mind their own business instead of putting their nose where it doesn't belong.«

He said it. He couldn't be quiet anymore. He had a fair share of his own experience with people that were trying to tell him how she should live his life. Now he just hopes that Mr. Rich won't complain about his behavior to the hospital.

Morgan and Neil exchanged glances when they heard what Henry said. Neil stepped forward and Morgan followed him.

»So, did dr. White explain everything to you? Given that you’re a surgical resident yourself, I’m sure you understand everything, but I have to ask you anyway. Do you have any questions? Do you agree with the surgical plan?« Neil asked seriously and looked at Jared.

»Yes, I agree with everything.«

»Ok, that's it then. Your surgery is scheduled for tomorrow at 11 PM,« Morgan said trying to sound nice and professional even though she didn't like the person in front of her.

»Thank you,« Jared simply said and was left alone in the room.

When Neil went to his office Henry and Morgan were left alone in the residents' lounge.

»Dr. Reznick?« Henry suddenly said and she turned towards him.

»Yes?«

»Did dr. Melendez heard what I said?«

»Yes, he did.«

»I didn't want to be rude to the patient, it's just that …«

»White, leave it. He's not mad at you. And you just told the truth. Everybody that supports Melendaire thinks the same way.«

»Melendaire?« Henry asked in confusion.

»Yes, Melendaire. You know, Melendez plus Claire equals Melendaire. It's just something I came up with one day when we were joking with them about how people were saying that they are a power couple. I said that they need a ship name,« Morgan said with a smile on her face.

»Oh, that's nice. I like it,« Henry said and smiled back at her.

She looked at his smile and slapped herself in her thoughts. What the hell Morgan, stop starring at him, she thought.

Henry saw how Morgan got serious all of a sudden. It was weird, he thought. But then again, he wasn't sure how to read her. He had a feeling that she has a high wall around her and only a few people really know her. All of a sudden he realized that he would also like to be one of those people that are close to her.

Claire hurried back to Jared's room but when she got inside she saw that dr. White was gone. Jared was looking at the window and when she tried to leave she suddenly heard his voice.

»Claire, can I talk with you?«

»What is it?« she said coldly.

»Why didn't you answer my calls? I've been calling you for the past week,« Jared asked her with a voice that was calm in friendly.

»I have nothing to say to you, Jared. Why would I even want to talk to you after what you said about me, about Neil?«

»Claire, listen … I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry for how things ended that night at the bar. You misunderstood me. I didn't mean to upset you and I just want you know that becau…«

»Jared, listen. I don't need any explanations or apologies from you. The easiest thing is to make a mistake and then apologize as if nothing happened. You know, if you hit someone and say you are sorry that doesn't take away the pain you inflicted.«

»That wasn't my intention. I didn't want to hurt you. You are the last person I want to hurt.«

»Why did you come here? Why did you decide to come to this hospital for your surgery?«

»Well, you know the answer to that.«

»No, I don't.«

»It doesn't matter if I don't like Melendez personally. The fact is that he is one of the best surgeons in the country.«

»You are right about that. But I know it's not just that why you chose this hospital. Why were you calling me?«

»I'm moving back to San Jose.«

»So?«

Jared looked at her cold expression. She looked bored with the conversation. She didn't show any surprise when he said that he's coming back. He realized she didn't care at all.

»There is this program at O'Connor San Jose Hospital. It's for doctors that finish their residency. It gives you time that you find a spot for yourself as an attending doctor. There is not a spot for me in Denver right now so this is a good option for me.«

»Why are you telling me all of this?« Claire asked him not really glad about the fact that he is moving back.

»I thought that maybe you should apply too.«

»Why would I do that?«

»Just in case you don't get the spot here. If you apply for it that doesn't mean you have to join the program if you get the spot here.«

Claire became suspicious. Jared was too nice. The way he tried to present this idea to her was calm, thoughtful. This time, he didn't take the offensive path and he didn't mention her relationship with Neil at all. He picked up another tactic. He focused on her and presented the option to her as something that will give her a reserve and not the only option.

Jared was looking at Claire that didn't say anything. She just looked at him and he thought that maybe she is thinking about it and realizing that he might be right.

»What do you think about it? Did you hear about this program already?«

»No, I didn't hear about it,« Claire said and decided that she won't say anything else because she was curious what else Jared will say.

»Listen, Claire, if you apply and go there you can prove to everybody that you achieved everything on your own without Melendez giving you special treatment. You are going to be in a different hospital with other surgeons that will see your talent and after two years all of the doors will be open for you.«

Bingo. And here it was again. That Jared that tried to convince her of his right again. His friendly and sincere mask started falling off again and her relationship with Neil was again becoming a theme of their conversation.

»Are you telling me this just because you are worried about my career?«

»I won't lie that I still care about you. I still love you. And yes, I think if you leave this place I might have a chance to win you over again.«

Claire took a deep breath. She knew she had to finish this. Jared needed to stop with this nonsense. She was annoyed with his phone calls, she was annoyed with the way he looked at her, the way he spoke to her. Everything on him started to annoy her.

»Jared, I was always, always honest with you. When we started this thing between us I was blunt about it. I told you that I am not looking for a relationship with you. I've never given you any false hope that I want more. I'm sorry, I truly am, that you fell in love with me … because I don't feel the same way. I never will.«

»If you give me a chance, I…«

»… no. I don't want to give you a chance, ok? Listen, Jared, I have someone in my life that cares about me, that loves me in a way I have never believed that someone can love me. I cherish that more than anything in my life. I have never thought that something or someone will mean more to me than my career but he does. Neil means more to me. I would choose him over this job in a heartbeat. I simply can't imagine my life without him anymore. I don't expect you to understand. I know you have your own opinion about my relationship with him and you are entitled to have it. But that doesn't mean that you have the right to tell me how I am supposed to live my life. It's my life. So please, stop searching for ways how to get to me. Forget about me.

There was silence between them after what Claire said. Dead silence. Jared looked out the window away from Claire.

»What does he have that I don't?« he suddenly whispered and when he looked at her Claire saw that he was hurt.

»Jared, it isn't about what he has or what you don't have. We don't decide who we fall in love with. It just happens. He's good to me. He understands me. He was there for me when I was at my lowest and he still is right there to have my back when I need him. He takes care of me like nobody in my life ever has.«

»You really think that the relationship between you won't affect your career here in this hospital?« Jared asked and this time Claire had a feeling that there weren't hidden intentions behind it.

»Honestly, I don't know. Right now I think that I have good chances. But if anything happens that it won't go as it should, we will cross that bridge when we come to it. I and Neil went through a lot and we always managed to handle everything. It will be the same in the future.«

Jared nodded at her.

»Would you marry him if he proposed to you?«

That was a question Claire did not expect.

»I … I've never thought about marriage … with anyone. But … I guess I can imagine marrying him,« she answered honestly being surprised by how easy it was for her to admit that.

»Wow, for someone that was always afraid of long-term commitment that is an interesting answer,« Jared said back and Claire saw the disappointment on Jared's face.

»People change,« Claire simply answered.

»Yes, I guess they do … for the right people.«

»Jared, one day you will find a woman that will give you everything you deserve. But that woman isn't me, so please, please … stop pursuing me because it just makes the whole situation harder and uncomfortable.«

Jared nodded at her words and Claire got the feeling that he finally understands.

»I really hope that everything will work out for you like you are convinced that it will,« he said.

»Thank you. I hope that you are going to be satisfied with this program you are applying for.«

They felt silent and Claire felt like she was next to a stranger, not knowing what to say anymore.

»Did dr. White explain everything to you?« Claire asked to break the silence.

»Yes, he did. I signed the consent papers and everything. We're good to go.«

»Great. Well, see you tomorrow then,« Claire said knowing her shift is coming to the end for the day.

»See you tomorrow,« Jared said and Claire left the room.

When the workday was coming to an end Claire headed for Neil's office.

»Hey, this is the paperwork for today. All the patients from the gallbladder removals are discharged.«

»Good. Ready to go home?« Neil asked her with a smile on his face, got up from the chair, and went closer to her putting his arms around her waist.

»Yes, ready,« she said and gently stroked his upper arms with her hands.

»Did Kalu give you a hard time?« Neil asked seriously.

»Not really. We had a normal conversation actually. I think he finally understands that he doesn't have a chance.«

»Really?« Neil asked with a dubious voice.

»Yeah, I hope that this is a closed story.«

»Me too,« Neil said and caressed her cheek.

»Listen, I am just going to talk with Morgan before we go home. She's going to the police station. I will just ask her if she's ok with going alone or if she wants me to go with her.

»Ok, I will wait here for you.«

»Ok,« Claire said, and when she wanted to turn around to leave he didn't let her go.

»Neil, let go of me,« she said and smiled at him.

»I don't want to,« he said and lowered his head putting a gentle kiss on her mouth.

»You are getting bolder every day here at work,« she whispered against his lips.

»I just can't get enough of you,« he whispered back and his arms squeezed her even closer to him.

»You are so greedy …« she whispered back giving him another quick kiss.

»This weekend we have to go shopping,« he suddenly said.

»Why?«

»You'll see.«

»Oh, c'mon. Tell me, you know that I am very curious and I don't like secrets or surprises.«

»Nope. I will tell you at home. Go now or you will miss Morgan.«

»Fine.«

Claire headed for the dressing room where Morgan usually was when the shift ended. She was nervous, thinking that she didn't tell Morgan everything she'd learned from the detectives. Reaching the dressing room she saw Morgan and was relieved that she wasn't too late.

»Morgan, are you going to the police?«

»Yes. I want to get this over with as soon as possible.«

»Do you want me to go with you?«

»No. I'm going to be fine. Just go home. I will call you and let you know how it went, ok?«

»Ok … listen … I …«

»What? Cat got your tongue? Why are you stuttering?« Morgan asked.

»I didn't tell you everything about what the detectives said when Maria was brought to the ER. I didn't want you to worry.«

»Ok … I am getting worried now. What is it?«

»This person that attacked you … he isn't wanted just for rape and kidnapping.«

»What else is there?«

»He is connected to multiple murders. That is why the police were in such a hurry to talk with Maria.«

»What? Murders?« Morgan whispered and sat down on the bench in shock.

»But … he is still out there, right? What if he comes after me again? Damn it. Why is this happening to me?« Morgan continued talking with a trembling voice.

»Hey, they will find him. You and Maria will help them. They will get this guy,« Claire said kneeling before Morgan and holding her hands in hers to comfort her.

»What if they won't find him? What if…«

»Morgan, they will find him. Did you change your mind? Do you want me to come with you?«

»No, go home. Thank you for giving me the heads up. I will call you to tell you everything.«

»Do you want to stay with us?« Claire asked letting Morgan know that she is always welcomed.

»God, no. I don't need you and my boss as my babysitters.«

»I just want you to know we are here for you. You are not alone.«

»I know Claire. Thank you, but I feel more comfortable if I am alone. You know that.«

»I know, but it doesn't always have to be like that,« Claire said but Morgan started to get up.

Claire got a feeling that Morgan was getting annoyed because of her pushiness so she decided she will stop.

»Call me,« Claire simply said before Morgan left.

As Morgan stepped out of the hospital she inhaled the steamy summer air. She had a feeling her lungs didn't get enough air. The sun was high in the sky and she felt dizzy. Maybe that was just fear she was feeling. She leaned against the glass wall of the hospital, convincing herself in her mind to calm down.

»Morgan, are you alright?« she suddenly heard and raised up her head to look at the person in front of her.

»Yes, I'm fine.«

»You don't look fine,« Henry said and looked at her with concern in his eyes.

»Are you going home?« he asked calmly not trying to sound intrusive.

»I … I'm not going home.«

»Ok … Do you need a ride to wherever you are going? You are not feeling good. You shouldn't go alone by bus,« he insisted hoping she will accept his offer.

Morgan didn't want to be alone. She also didn't want to bother Claire even though she knew that her friend would immediately come and be by her side if she just called her and said to her that she wants her to go to the police station with her. But no, Claire already did so much for her.

»If I accept your offer … do you promise me you won't ask any questions?« Morgan asked and looked at Henry that had a concerned expression on his face.

»I promise. Where do you want me to take you?« he simply said.

»Police station,« Morgan said and Henry raised his eyebrows in surprise.

»Ok, come. My car is behind the hospital,« he said and Morgan slowly stepped forward with him next to her.

What they both didn't know was that there was a man at the bar next to the hospital. He was sitting outside on the terrace, smoking a cigarette, and pretended to read a newspaper. In reality, he was observing the blonde that escaped him, preventing him from completing the work he had started. Unfinished business was one thing in this world that he hated and that got on his nerves. He didn’t like things being half done and he knew that he definitely isn't finished with the blonde yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading the 10th chapter! 🤗  
> What did you like the most? Please let me know in the comments.  
> Your comments mean the world to me! ❤️🤗


	11. Sometimes you are such a dork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgan files a report against the person that attacked her. Will Henry be able to achieve that she opens up to him? Will he do a step forward and ask her out? How did the friendship between Morgan and Claire start after Morgan filed a favouritism complaint against Claire and Neil? Find out in the 11th chapter of Grateful for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> Quite a big amount of this chapter is Morgan's and a little bit of Henry's. I hope that this storyline also interests you and that you are not going to be disappointed with where my story goes. The good doctor was the first medical series that I actually watched. I have never watched any other medical show. I am more of an action kind of girl, I looove police shows. One of my all-time favourites is Hawaii Five-O. I watched it two times and I will probably watch the whole series again. That is probably the reason that when it comes to the character of Morgan my story is going in the direction of a crime genre. 😊
> 
> Don't worry, I know that most of you here are reading my story because of Neil and Claire and I will always include them in every chapter that I write. In this chapter, you will again see them in their flirtatious and loving mode. Since a lot of you love memories, bits from the past, I also included one in this chapter. ❤️
> 
> Please let me know in the comments what you think about this chapter. 😘
> 
> Also, I want to try to include you in my writing. If you have an idea that you want me to write about you can tell me in the comment section. If I like it and if I find a way to include it and connect it with my ideas I will try to do it in future chapters. Since a lot of you like bits from the past of our favourite couple you can also ask me to write about something from their past. Hit me with your wishes. 🤗😉
> 
> Enjoy reading chapter 11!
> 
> Sarah

There was silence between Henry and Morgan in the car. Morgan watched through the car window as city buildings ran past her. Henry looked at her with the corner of his eye and regretted that he had given her a promise not to ask her anything. He was not curious by nature, but this time it was different. It didn't happen every day that a co-worker asked you to take her to the police station. It was also not very often for a co-worker to come to work with a big nasty scratch on the head. What was going on, he asked himself in his thoughts. The silence in the car was suddenly broken by the ringing of the telephone. Henry reached into his jeans pocket and when he saw the name on the screen, he sighed deeply and pushed the phone back into his pocket.

»You can answer,« Morgan said softly looking at him and noticing that Henry wasn't happy about the call.

»It's fine, I will call back later.«

»Maybe it's important.«

»It's not, don't worry,« Henry said and thought that Jane's whims really don't matter to him.

Morgan looked at Henry, who was sitting comfortably in the driver's seat, holding the steering wheel confidently. She thought about the fact that it didn't matter where she saw him, in what kind of situation, he has always radiated confidence and positive energy. Even now when she noticed that there was tension in his jaw. Something was bothering him. She suddenly got curious about who called him. Did that person annoy him? Was she the problem? Did he figure out that she is just trouble and regretted driving her to the police station?

»Thank you for driving me to the police station,« Morgan said cautiously trying to start a conversation.

He looked at her and she got the feeling that he relaxed at her words as a smile sat on his face.

»It's nothing. To be honest, I'm glad I finally got you in my car, even though I thought I'd take you somewhere else than to the police station for the first time,« he said and she could hear his voice was playful again.

»And where would you take me?« she asked looking at him feeling excited and forgetting about where she is actually going.

»Somewhere where you couldn’t avoid me given that you always find a way to get away from me.«

»I'm not avoiding you,« she said knowing that she is lying.

She was avoiding him because it scared her what she felt toward him. It never happened to her before that she would know someone for three days and feel this connection, attraction. It bothered her that he was younger, that he was a first-year resident. She didn't want her life to be complicated. God knew, it was already complicated.

»Here we are. Do you want me to go inside with you?«

»No,« Morgan blurted out and he could see the panic in her eyes.

»Ok. I will wait here.«

»You don't have to. I mean, thank you for the ride but you don't have to wait. I don't know how long this will take and…«

»Morgan, I will wait. Go and just take your time. No hurry.«

Morgan got out of the car, took a deep breath, and headed for the entrance. She stepped up to the front desk and looked at the police officer in front of her.

»Hi,« she whispered and looked around.

»Hi, how can I help you?«

»I would like to make a report,« she whispered again feeling completely lost not knowing how everything will actually go down now that she was here.

»What kind of report?«

»I …«

»Theft, accident, violence? Something else?« the policeman said with a calm voice trying to help her.

»I came here because I know that detective Walker works at this station. I need to talk to him directly.«

»Ok, I will call him but I have to know what this is all about?«

»It's connected to the rape case from yesterday. I was attacked by the same person that night.«

The policeman in front of her looked at her surprised and immediately picked up the phone on his desk.

»Just a second,« he said while not letting his eyes off her like if he was afraid that she will turn around and run away.

She probably looked like she wanted to. She felt like she can't breathe.

»Detective Walker will join you right away. You can sit down until he comes to get you,« the man said and showed her to the seats behind her.

»Thank you.«

Morgan sat down and looked around. The vibe of the police station reminded her of the hospital. She always described the hospital as orderly chaos. People that were just visitors to the hospital probably thought that what they see is chaos but doctors and nurses knew that everything in the hospital was very well organized. She was observing the room she was waiting in. People were walking up and down the hall. Just like in the hospital she could hear different voices that were coming from the offices, suddenly she shuddered at the sound of a man that was hysterically screaming at someone, probably at a police officer. After a minute the man settled down. While she was waiting a group of detectives in bulletproof vests walked past her and she thought of all the occasions when she operated on the cops who had been shot. A male voice suddenly threw her out of her thoughts.

»Dr. Reznick, I didn't expect to see you here. Is everything ok with Maria?« detective Walker said and Morgan stood up.

»Yes, she is fine. She will probably go home tomorrow. I … I came here because I also want to file a report. You see … I was probably attacked by the same person.«

The detective looked at her bewildered.

»Please, let's go to my office.«

Morgan sat down in front of the detective and through the window she could see Henry's car and him that was waiting for her.

»You said that you want to make a report,« detective started to talk and Morgan again looked at him.

»Detective Walker …«

»Please, Marco,« the detective said and gave her an encouraging smile.

»Marco … I'm sorry I didn't come sooner or said anything in the hospital but after I heard everything Maria told you … it was then that I connected everything together. Everything that happened to me.«

»Ok … it's never too late to make a report, don't worry about that. So, what happened?«

Morgan slowly explained everything that had happened to her. At home, she even wrote everything down on the paper she now had in front of her. She didn't want to forget to say something that could be of importance.

»So you ran toward your boss's apartment?«

»Yes, my best friend is his girlfriend.«

»Does your friend also work in the hospital?« the detective asked.

»Yes, it's dr. Browne, you talked with her when Maria was brought in. Why is important that you know if she works in the hospital?«

»I'm just trying to get the whole picture so that I know who is who.«

»Ok,« Morgan said getting nervous.

»You said you looked back many times while you were running to safety. Did you see if this person was following you?«

»I didn't see anyone behind me but it was dark and I was in a panic. I don't know. I can't be sure.«

»Ok,« the detective said, nodded, and wrote down her answer in his note.

»Claire, dr. Browne said that you told her that this person is connected to several murders.«

The detective looked at her and nodded.

»Yes, he is. I and my partner are chasing him for years. It's strange because he was never so sloppy. We never had victims that would live long enough to tell their part of the story.«

»Do you think that I might be in danger? He is still out there,« Morgan asked and bit her lip.

»I don't know, that is why we will assign you a plainclothes police officer to keep an eye on you.«

»What? I will have a police officer that will always be by my side?«

»Don't worry. You won't even know that he's there. He will always keep his distance. They know how to be invisible. I know it's not ideal, but we don't know how this guy thinks. Maybe he will try to reach you again, maybe not. Given that he has never left a trace behind, he may want to finish his job.«

»You want to say that he will try to kill me.«

»As I said, we don't know so we have to be careful.«

Morgan again looked through the window at Henry's car. She wished that she could tell him everything so that she wouldn't have to deal with this by herself but she didn't want to burden him. For Christ's sake, she barely knew the guy. But it was strange how she already trusted him. Plus, she doesn't need to put him in danger too. She was worried enough about the safety of her friends. Detective noticed that she was distracted and followed her gaze.

»Is he your boyfriend?«

»Excuse me?«

»You are looking at the guy in the car outside. Does he also need to be looked after?«

»No, no, he is a co-worker. He doesn't know anything, I mean we started working together three days ago. He just gave me a ride here.«

»Ok,« the detective said and found in strange that someone who just knows her for three days took her to the police station without knowing what is going on.

»What about Neil and Claire?« Morgan suddenly asked.

»What about them?«

»What if this person followed me and saw where I went? What if he tries to hurt them? They are the ones who might be in danger.«

»Yes, I wanted to suggest that it would be good if we also appoint a police officer to keep an eye on them too.«

»Can it stay between us? I don't want to worry them with this. I mean, you said that you guys are discrete.«

»Yes, we can keep it under wraps for now. Usually, it's better if people aren't told that they are being under protection. It makes them act naturally and that helps sometimes. A lot of times happens that they are obvious about it and the person we are chasing notices it and that isn't good.«

»Ok.«

»I will need your and their address and other personal information. I also need photos of them so that a police officer that will be assigned to them sees them. Furthermore, I would also like you to sit down with a sketch artist from our forensic team.«

»I don't know if I am going to be of any use with that. I barely remember that night and he was wearing a hoodie …«

»Well, maybe you remember more than you think. Our sketch artist knows how to help you remember.«

»When would I have to see him?«

»How's tomorrow morning?«

»I can't. I have an important surgery scheduled.«

»Afternoon? At 4 PM?«

»That's ok.«

»You said you brought photos of your injuries and clothes.«

Morgan took the bag that was on the floor next to her chair and gave it over the table to detective Marco.

»We were careful with clothes and everything. I hope that you will find something on them that can connect this person to me.«

»I'm going to take it all for analysis. If we find anything useful, it will be known tomorrow.«

Marco was looking at the photos of Morgan's injuries.

»I must say that you were really lucky. This could have gone way worse.«

»Yes, I know,« Morgan whispered.

»Did you go to the hospital after everything happened? To get checked out?«

»No, I didn't want to go. I mean, I had two surgeons next to me at that moment. I was in good hands.«

»Ok, so if we will also need a description of your injuries and the state you were in dr. Melendez and dr. Browne are the ones that checked you out at their home?«

»Yes,« Morgan said and again saw how Marco wrote her answer in his note.

»Why would you need to talk to them?«

»If we catch this person the case will go to trial. You and they will have to testify.«

»What do you mean if you catch him? You have to catch him!« Morgan burst out agitated.

»That is the plan, don't worry.«

Morgan rolled her eyes at his words. How could she not worry? She could be in danger and because of her actions also her friends could be in danger too. And trial? God, she didn't want to sit in a courtroom in front of the person that attacked her, the person that rapped Maria. Why the hell was this happening to her? Morgan filled out all the paperwork Marco had put in front of her.

»So, when will the police start to babysit us?«

Marco smiled at her remark.

»It's not babysitting, it's protecting,« he corrected her.

»Sorry, I am just nervous and angry because of everything that is happening.«

»I understand. The police officers will be assigned to you and your friends in about an hour. They go to work as soon as the paperwork is done. So in about an hour and a half.«

»Ok. Is there anything else that I have to do now?«

»No. You can go home now and we'll see each other tomorrow at 4 PM here.«

»Fine. Well, thank you for everything.«

»It's my job. Take care of yourself and pay attention to everything that is happening around you. If this person calls you, let me know immediately. You have my phone number here,« Marco said and gave her his card with all the information.

»Thank you, see you tomorrow.«

Henry saw Morgan coming from the police station. When she opened the car door and threw herself on the seat, she looked like if she aged in this half an hour she was inside the police station.

»Are you ok?« Henry asked.

»No, not really.«

»I know I promised I won't ask anything but do you want to talk about it?«

»No.«

Henry nodded and slowly he brought his hand closer to hers and squeezed her palm in his. Morgan looked at him and though her mind was telling her that she should move her hand away, she didn't. She had to admit that it felt good the way he held her hand.

»Whatever it is, it's going to be fine,« Henry whispered and gently stroked the inside of her palm with his thumb.

»Why are you doing this?« Morgan suddenly whispered.

»What?«

»Why are you so nice to me?«

»I don't know. I just am who I am. I like to help people if they need my help and … well … I like you,« he said honestly and Morgan slowly took away her hand.

»You shouldn't … like me,« she whispered.

»Why not? And don't act like you don't like me back.«

Morgan looked at him and thought how the hell was everything moving so fast between them. They knew each other for three days, barely.

»It's just … everything will get complicated.«

»Ohhh, so you do like me? You didn't deny it. That is progress with you,« Henry said smiling at her and when she saw his warm and happy smile on his face she couldn't help but smile too.

»Don't flatter yourself,« she said and smiled.

»This smile of yours … you should smile more often,« he said and turned on the car.

»So, where does Mrs. Reznick wants to be taken?«

»Home,« Morgan said with a smile on her face and she thought about the fact how Henry made her forget about everything bad that was happening to her.

When they reached Morgan's apartment, Henry turned off the car and looked at Morgan.

»Have a drink with me. Tomorrow evening.«

Morgan looked at him and shook her head.

»It's not a good idea.«

»I disagree. I think it's a very good idea. Listen, it's a drink, maybe we can also eat something. I won't make you marry me.«

Morgan laughed at his remark.

»You can also tell me over some good liquor why is not a good idea that we would try to get to know each other better,« he insisted.

»Henry …«

»I won't take no for an answer. I know you want to say yes.«

»You are really so sure about what I want?«

»C'mon, have a drink with me tomorrow.«

Morgan took a deep breath.

»Fine, a drink.«

»Thank you,« Henry said and his smile made Morgan smile too.

»Thank you for chauffeuring me around,« Morgan said.

»Anytime. See you tomorrow.«

»See you.«

***

There was silence in the car between Neil and Claire. The only thing that disturbed the silence was the quiet music coming from the radio. To Neil, this was strange, for Claire to be so quiet. Usually, when they were driving home, Claire was asking him questions about his surgeries in which she was not present that day. Because of their relationship, she didn't assist him with surgeries as often as she would want even though he was still her attending doctor, her mentor. Sometimes she was there with him in the operating room but she also worked a lot with dr. Lim and dr. Andrews so that also other attending doctors saw her in action and in this way hospital could be objective about her. Sometimes that bothered her because she loved working with Neil, he was a great mentor to her, he was the one from whom she learned the most. If they weren't talking about work they made a plan of what they are gonna do for the rest of the day, sometimes they just held hands and every now and then looked at each other like two idiots in love. Today was different. Claire stared out of the car window and Neil felt that she is completely absent.

»You know, I am going to get jealous of this someone or something that occupies your mind right now,« Neil said and she slowly turned her head towards him but Neil didn't get a smile from her like he expected to.

»I'm worried about Morgan. Like, really worried.«

»She didn't want you to go with her?«

»No. When I told her what the detective said to me I could see that she was scared and worried about it. I mean, who wouldn't be? But she is so stubborn.«

»Do you want me to turn the car around and go to the police station?« Neil asked her and Claire thought about it for a moment.

»No. I asked her two times if she wants me to go with her. I even offered her that she can stay with us if she wants and the only thing I got from her was annoyance. She doesn't like it when someone is too pushy. If I go there now she will probably be angry and annoyed by it, not happy or grateful. I will just wait for her call.«

Neil saw how Claire is bothered by this situation. She was the kind of person that always put other people first. She always wanted to help others.

»Listen, you can help someone if this person wants your help. Morgan just needs more time to realize that we are here for her and that there is nothing wrong with asking for help, that's it. I also think she still has trouble asking for help because she would need to ask you.«

»Why? Why would she have trouble accepting help from me?«

»Because she hurt you in the past. She probably thinks she doesn't deserve your help.«

»That's stupid. Past is just that … past. I don't know why she still thinks about it.«

»Because of the guilt. Guilt is eating her from the inside. You know she apologized to me just yesterday?«

»For what?«

»For filing that favouritism complaint.«

»Really?«

»Yes. It's been about a year since then and she still thinks about it, can you believe it? Yes, she made a mess of things with it and yes, I was pissed about it back then but … now … I never think about it and I'm not angry with her but she still holds on to everything she did back then.«

»Yeah …«

»She needs to realize that she needs to let the past go. She is different now.«

»Yes, she is,« Claire whispered and her thoughts drifted back to the moment when she was sitting next to Neil's hospital bed one day after the surgery she and dr. Lim had suggested and planned, the surgery that was the only thing that could maybe save Neil's life.

***

_The chair Claire was sitting in was uncomfortable. Her back ached but she didn't care. In fact, there was not a part of her body that wouldn't hurt her. She was tired, so tired. She spent the whole day working in the emergency room and the day before she and dr. Lim operated on Neil for eight hours. This was the first time she was able to sit down after the damn earthquake happened. She didn't remember when was the last time she closed her eyes to get some sleep. Even if she wanted to close her eyes, she couldn't. She was too scared. She had this fear inside her that if she falls asleep she will be awakened by the sounds of the frantic devices to which Neil was connected to. Her gaze shifted from the devices that showed his life signs to his tired appearance. He looked pale, weak. It was strange for Claire, to see him like this. She was used to the strong Neil, full of energy. Neil, who gave the image as if he could conquer the whole world with just his presence. But now … he was only a shadow of himself. But Claire knew that this was just his exterior appearance. Deep inside he was still a fighter, he was strong. Even when she and Audrey nearly lost him during surgery, he didn't give up, he fought. Even though his heart at one point gave in and stopped beating, he didn't let go. Claire will never forget the feeling when she heard that his heart started beating again and that the flatline wasn't flat anymore. She almost cried of relief right then at that moment._

_Claire shifted to the edge of the chair to get closer to him and gently covered his palm, which rested against his body, with hers. This was the only gesture that she allowed herself. She wanted to feel him close. Even though she knew she shouldn't feel that way about him, she couldn't resist this innocent touch. She loved him and she didn't care if the world will condemn her because of it, if the world will come crashing down, she loved him. She loved her boss and she was scared for him. Who is she without him really? He was the one who saved her, the one who showed her the right path when she was out of control. He thought her everything she knows. She was a good surgeon because of him, because of his knowledge that he was willing to share with her as her mentor. She was nothing without him anymore. When this thoughts of affection filled her mind she had the feeling that her heart will explode of all the emotions and she realized that there is also something else present inside of her. Fear … fear of being rejected by him. Fear of losing him as a friend because of her feelings. Next to her fear, there was confusion. She still remembered his words … You make me a better surgeon, a better … person … spend enough time around dr. Browne, you'll get used to incredible. Those words echoed in her head like a broken record. Why was he saying all of these things to her, about her? Was there any chance that he was also not indifferent to her? No, there is no way that a man like him would fall in love with a mess like her. She wanted to scream. She wanted to stand up, pick the chair up, and threw it out of the window. The emotions that she was feeling were like a flood. They hit her all at once. Love, fear, anger, confusion … Her eyes filled with tears again and she looked at Neil's resting face again. She wished she would have the courage to stroke his hair. She wanted to lean over to him and kiss him on the forehead. She wanted to cup his face with her hands and whisper into his ear that everything is going to be ok. She wanted to do all of these things, but at the same time she had a feeling she couldn't do any of it, she wasn't supposed to. Not with him. He was her boss and although they were close, she could not cross some boundaries._

_»Hey,« she suddenly heard a whisper and in an instant withdrew her hand, which rested on Neil's._

_»Hey,« she whispered back and wiped away the tears that ran down her cheeks._

_»How is he doing?« Morgan asked and stepped a few steps into the room._

_»He's holding on I guess. His vitals are normal. I'm waiting for the damn lab results and I really don't know why it takes so long. I want to go check what is going on but I don't want to leave him alone.«_

_»I can go to the lab,« Morgan offered and Claire looked at her._

_»Yes? But your shift has ended and you are already on your way home,« Claire said seeing that Morgan was already dressed in her coat and had the bag on her shoulder._

_»It doesn't matter. I'm gonna go to the lab and tell them to hurry up if the results are not ready yet.«_

_»Thank you.«_

_Morgan came back in fifteen minutes holding an envelope in her hand and Claire jumped up from the chair._

_»Did you look at the results?« she asked with big questionable eyes._

_»No, I didn't. I thought you should be the first to see if his numbers are improving.«_

_Claire took the envelope from Morgan with trembling hands and took a deep breath. She slowly opened the envelope and looked at the paper in front of her._

_»What does it say?« Morgan asked her and Claire felt like a huge weight fell off her chest._

_»His lactate went from eight to three,« she said relieved._

_»That's almost in the normal range,« Morgan said and smiled at Claire._

_»Yes, it is,« Claire whispered and again looked at Neil._

_»Maybe now, when you know he is doing better, you can go home, have a shower, eat something that is not out of the vending machine and get some sleep,« Morgan suggested._

_Morgan saw how tired Claire was. She had dark circles under her eyes and her hair was a mess as if she hadn't combed it at all for the last two days._

_»No, I won't leave him. I will wait that he at least wakes up. I don't want that he is alone when he wakes up.«_

_»I can stay here while you go home.«_

_»Thank you but I will stay.«_

_Morgan knew that when Claire decided something there was nothing and no one that could change her mind._

_»Do you want me to bring you some proper and healthy food? I know this restaurant that is near the hospital and the foo…«_

_»Why are you doing this?« Claire suddenly asked her cutting her off._

_»Doing what?«_

_»Standing here pretending you care about me?«_

_»I'm not pretending.«_

_»No? Well, I don't need anything from you. Neither of us. Maybe now you can go to dr. Lim again and tell her that you saw me holding his hand,« Claire snapped._

_Morgan felt like she wants to disappear from the face of the earth. That's how much guilt and shame she felt._

_»I won't do that.«_

_»No? Well, I guess I have to say thank you then.«_

_»Claire, I'm sorry about what I did. I don't know what else can I do to make it better.«_

_»Nothing, you can't do anything. The damage is done. And I am not talking just about the fact that people are now starting stupid rumours but also about the fact that you've hurt us, people that are the closest to you here in the hospital.«_

_»I know …«_

_»What were you thinking when you did it?«_

_»I don't know. It was just instinct.«_

_»Instinct? For what? To protect yourself and to push others to the ground so that you can shine? Do you know what pisses me off the most? That you filed this favouritism complaint against the best surgeon in this hospital, against your boss, your mentor. How many times did he believe in you? How many times he had your back when something went wrong? How many times did he share his knowledge so that you can be a better surgeon? What you did is the same as if you spit in his face.«_

_»I know. Listen, I can't take back what I did but I truly am sorry. I really regret it. I know that now you are hurting and you are tired and probably you don't even want to look at me but I really want you to forgive me. I promise I will change.«_

_Claire rolled her eyes and sat down again feeling even more tired but calmer since Neil's results were better than she expected._

_»Morgan, you can't go over corpses to get what you want. I understand that you're competitive, we all are, but there have to be limits. You can't just do everything you want and not think about the consequences of your actions.«_

_»I just felt threatened. When I saw you two together it looked like … like you two are really close.«_

_»We are close but that doesn't mean he isn't objective about my work. It's really sad you know. I always saw you as this amazing resident even though your attitude gets on my nerves. It's a shame that you don't feel confident about your work, your knowledge, and that you feel the need to do bad things to others so that you would shine. I don't think such actions are necessary because you are good enough to achieve everything you want without mean and backstabbing moves.«_

_Morgan fell silent at Claire's words. She didn't know that Claire sees her like this._

_»I don't know what to say. I'm just sorry. I hope he wakes up soon. I'm glad he is doing better,« she whispered and slowly turned around to leave the room._

_»What about that food that you mentioned? Will you bring it to me or not?« Claire said looking at Morgan's back._

_»You want it? I will bring it,« Morgan said eagerly._

_»Well, that is the least you can do. I'm hungry and if I have to eat one more sandwich I will throw up.«_

_»What would you like to eat?«_

_»You pick. I just want something warm and tasty.«_

_»Ok.«_

_»Oh, and I am not paying for it just so you know. You at least owe me a meal.«_

_»Of course,« Morgan said and smiled._

_Claire asking her to bring her food was a step forward. It wasn't forgiveness but at least she wasn't screaming at her anymore. When Morgan left Claire looked at Neil and smiled. She was happy. After two days of fear and darkness, she finally felt like something good is happening and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel._

_»You are going to be fine,« she whispered to Neil and again touched his warm hand._

_Morgan came back with two bags full of food._

_»I didn't know what to take so I took different things. I also bought something for me. Is it ok if I eat here with you?« she said starting to put food on the table that was in the corner of the room._

_Claire stepped closer and looked at the food in front of her. It smelled divine._

_»Yes, let's eat. Gosh, I am so hungry,« she whispered and sat down._

_They ate in silence and Morgan looked at Claire every now and then._

_»Morgan, what is it? Why are you starring at me?«_

_»I'm curious.«_

_»About what?«_

_»You and Melendez._

_»Morgan, don't.«_

_»No, don't get me wrong. I just honestly want to know what is going on between you two. Are you in love with him?«_

_»Why do you think that I am interested in discussing this with you?«_

_»Gosh, you are in love with him,« Morgan whispered when Claire didn't deny it immediately._

_»I don't want to talk about it,« Claire whispered thinking if she didn't make a mistake that she didn't deny it._

_»Does he know? Are you two together already and we don't know?«_

_»No, we are not together and I don't believe that he feels the same. How could he?«_

_»What do you mean how could he? If you don't know it yet you are very lovable. That is actually what probably annoys me the most about you. Everybody likes you,« Morgan said but had a smile on her face so Claire knew that she wasn't trying to be a bitch again._

_»He's Neil Melendez and I am just me.«_

_»Claire, he maybe is Neil Melendez but he is a man and you are a beautiful and talented woman. Not to mention younger which is also a bonus for him,« Morgan said and winked at her._

_»Shut up and stop flattering me. It won't help you to get on my good side.«_

_»So nothing happened between you two yet?«_

_»No, why is that so hard to believe?«_

_»I don't know. When I saw you running with him … if I didn't know you two I would think that you are a couple that is enjoying their afternoon run. You looked … relaxed and happy. It's rare that I see such smiles on both of your faces at work.«_

_»He … he does make me happy I guess. I feel good when I am around him. I feel like I have a purpose, like there is someone that cares about me. He helped me a lot with grieving my mother's death. Without him I would still probably sit in a bar every night, drinking and going home with a different guy every night,« Claire whispered feeling ashamed of what she was doing in the past._

_»Are you going to tell him?« Morgan asked and took another bite of her food and then looked toward Neil's bed._

_»Are you crazy? Why would I do that?«_

_»So what … you are going to be quiet and pretend that you two are platonic friends?«_

_»Yes, that is exactly what I will do. Even if I would want to tell him, it's not the right time.«_

_»Right time? When is ever the right time?«_

_»I won't risk and admit my feelings for him.«_

_»You're afraid that he doesn't feel the same.«_

_»Of course I am afraid of that … and he is my boss. It's not possible.«_

_»That's not true.«_

_»Look at you. Now you are rooting for me when it comes to him?«_

_»I'm just saying that he probably feels the same and you are wasting time.«_

_»I don't want to talk about this anymore. Now I just want that he gets better, that's it. What I feel is not important right now,« Claire said and Morgan nodded deciding that she won't push her buttons._

_»Moreover, if you tell anyone of this conversation I will kill you. Don't make me regret that I talked to you and trusted you with this,« Claire said._

_»I won't, don't worry. I did enough damage already. I won't betray your trust.«_

_»Good,« Claire said, and when they ate everything that Morgan brought they were sitting in the silence._

_Suddenly they heard the noise of the blanket. They both looked at Neil._

_»He's waking up,« Morgan whispered and they both jumped up._

_»I'm going to get dr. Lim,« Morgan said and left the room._

_Claire stepped closer to Neil and helped him remove the oxygen mask he had already begun to pull from his face. He slowly looked around the room and his gaze stopped when he saw her._

_»Hey you,« Claire whispered and smiled at him._

_»Am I actually alive?« he asked her with a hoarse voice._

_»Yes, you are and you are doing better, much better.«_

_»It doesn't feel like it.«_

_»You are going to be fine, don't worry. Now you just rest. Are you thirsty?«_

_»Yes, a little.«_

_Claire went around his bed taking a glass and filled it with cold water. She took the remote from the bed and slightly raised it so that Neil was more in a sitting position._

_»Here you go,« she whispered and brought the glass with a straw to his mouth._

_»Slowly,« she said to him while he drank._

_»This is pathetic,« he whispered when she put the glass down._

_»What?«  
»Me, being like this. I am drinking water on a straw.«_

_»Neil, you almost died. Give yourself a break.«_

_»How long was I out?«_

_»A day.«_

_»How was the surgery?«_

_»It was a success. And today's lab results confirmed that.«_

_»How are my numbers? Let me see the results.«_

_»Neil, all you need to know is that your numbers are improving fast and that you are getting better with every minute. I won't show you anything because you need to rest.«_

_»Claire, I need to see…«_

_»No, you don't. You are the patient right now, I am the doctor. So stop being stubborn because it will get you nowhere.«_

_»You shouldn't talk with your boss in this way,« he said giving her a little smile._

_»I'm not talking to my boss, I am talking to my patient and my friend,« Claire said feeling happy that Neil was finally awake and that she was able to hear his voice again._

_»Do you need anything? Do you feel warm enough?«_

_»I'm fine. I'm just glad you're here with me,« he whispered, and there it was again._

_Claire could see the look in his eyes. Was it longing what she was seeing or was it simply just gratitude? He looked at her the same as in his office the night when he told her that she makes him a better person, and then she saw the exact same look in his eyes when they looked at each other when they operated on Martha in the brewery._

_»I'm so glad you are ok,« she whispered and Neil could hear that her voice was trembling and he saw that her eyes started to fill with tears._

_»Hey, I am not going anywhere. Don't you remember when I told you that I am not abandoning you?« he said to her and suddenly Claire felt that he squeezed her hand in his and her heart skipped a beat at that moment._

_»I swear to you, if you died I don't know if I could bear it,« she whispered and suddenly the tears started falling down her cheeks._

_»Don't cry,« he whispered back slowly raising his hand and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks._

_At that moment when she felt his touch, she closed her eyes and without even realizing it, she leaned her face gently against his soft and warm hand that gave her comfort. Neil looked at her tired face and thought about the fact that even when she is tired, even when she is crying, she looks beautiful and radiant._

_»What is happening to us?« he whispered and slowly moved away his hand._

_Claire opened her eyes and looked at him not knowing what to answer him but feeling like this moment between them was different. Did he also feel the same force as she did? A force that drew her to him. Before she could find the words to answer him Morgan and dr. Lim came into the room and the moment they shared was gone._

***

»You are absorbed in your thoughts again,« Neil said while he drove into the parking lot in front of their home.

»I just remember the moment when you woke up after the surgery. That day was also the day when Morgan and I started becoming … well, friends. She really felt so bad for what she did. I could see it. I have never seen her so worried and honest. That is probably the reason I didn't torture her too much with my anger that I felt towards her.«

»It's your nature. You are not capable of being angry for long at someone, especially if that person apologizes.«

»Are you talking from experience?« Claire teased him.

»I have other ways to get back in your good graces. They work better than just an apology,« Neil whispered and looked at her with a smile on his face.

Claire unbuckled her seat belt and leaned toward him. She gently and playfully touched his nose with hers and then kissed him on the cheek.

»You know, I really like your kind of apology,« she whispered next to his lips.

»You do, don't you?« he whispered back.

»Yes, I really do, and you are so good at it that afterwards, I don't even remember the reason I was angry with you in the first place.«

They looked at each other and neither of them leaned over to kiss the other, even though they both felt they wanted to.

»What are you waiting for Melendez? Kiss me,« she commanded him and Neil needed no further encouragement.

As their kiss became more and more demanding Claire's phone rang.

»Leave it,« Neil said between kisses and tried to pull her closer to him as much as he could in the small space of the car so that she wouldn't be able to get her phone.

»I have to check if it's Morgan,« Claire whispered back and pushed her hands against his chest to escape his tight grip.

»Yup, it's her. Morgan, how did it go?«

»I filed a report. I have a meeting with the sketch artist tomorrow. He will try to make me remember how this person looked like. They want to confirm that the person that attacked me was actually the suspect they are after. Tomorrow they will also have the test results from the analysis of my clothes from that night. Otherwise, the detective said that we are going to be in touch.«

»That's it? You are going to be in touch? They didn't say anything about protection since this person is still out there?«

»Nope. I mean, I didn't receive any threats. He said I should just be careful and attentive and that I should call him in case I notice something unusual,« Morgan lied and tried hard to sound calm.

»Well, I guess the police know what they're doing. Are you home already?«

»Yes, Henry just dropped me off in front of my block,« Morgan said and immediately bite her tongue for mentioning Henry.

»Henry? He took you to the police station?«

»Don't. It was just a ride.«

»Well, today is a ride, tomorrow is going to be a drink, then dinn…«

»Stop it,« Morgan snapped into the phone remembering that she indeed is going on a drink with Henry tomorrow.

»Fine. Morgan, don't forget that the offer still stands. If you don't want to be alone you can stay with us. We have enough room.«

»I know, thank you but I'm good, really.«

»Ok. See you tomorrow morning.«

»Bye.«

»Is she ok?« Neil asked.

»She sounded ok. We'll see,« Claire said and looked at him and then in front of her.

»What is it about this car?«

»What do you mean?« Neil said looking at her.

»It has this vibe.«

»Vibe?«

»Yes, you know … a sexy vibe.«

»You want to say that it makes you horny?« Neil said bluntly and Claire laughed.

»Yes, I guess it does.«

»Well, it's Tesla, it's electric,« Neil said shrugging his shoulders and that made Claire laugh again.

»We should try it out,« she whispered and looked at him.

»Now? Are you crazy? It's in the middle of the day and we are in a parking lot.«

»Gosh babe, sometimes you are such a dork. I didn't mean now, I have no exhibitionist fantasizes, don't worry. I meant one day when the moment and place are just right,« she said laughing at his surprised face.

»But I bet you already tried the back seats in the past,« she said and crossed her arms pretending she is dissappointed.

»I didn't.«

»What?«  
»I didn't have sex in a car … yet.«

»I don't believe you.«

»Why would I lie about it?«

»Oh, then we definitely have to do it. It's going to be just our thing.«

»God, you are truly the realization of every man's dream,« Neil said to her.

»I know I am,« she whispered back and her confidence made Neil smile.

They got out of the car and they made their way towards the entrance to their building hand in hand. What they didn't know is that the police officer that was assigned to protect them was already doing his job. He was sitting in a civilian car a few feet away on the other side of the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, tell me what you think of this chapter in the comments section. Like I wrote already in the notes at the beginning of this chapter, don't forget that you can tell me what you want that I write about. If I find a way to connect your wishes with my ideas, I will do it. 🤗
> 
> Thank you again so much for reading my story! You readers are the best! 😍❤️


	12. Move in with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did it happen that Claire decided she will live with Neil in his apartment? Claire remembers that Neil didn't want to tell her at the hospital why they needed to go shopping on the weekend. Will Neil tell her? Find out in chapter twelve of Grateful for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers!
> 
> First of all, there was something wrong with the Archive page when I posted the previous chapter because the chapter did not move up to the top by date so some of you didn't see that the story is updated. I immediately knew something was not ok because the hits were going up way too slow compare to previous chapters and I also didn't receive any comments. Thank you, Catherine and Lovevicley for telling me you noticed this. Because of what was happening I wrote to the ones that always leave reviews of the chapters the messages to let you know it's updated. If something like this happens again, I will just do the same and send you a message. Thank you for understanding. 😊
> 
> By the way, I know that my timeline in the story is soooo slooow. I hope it doesn't bother you. It's just I never fully know what will happen when I start writing the chapter. I mean, I have the main idea but usually, I get new additional ideas while I write, and then at the end of the chapter, I realize I didn't come as far with the story as I planned in the first place. 😅
> 
> Ok, is it arrogant of me to say that I love this chapter since I wrote it? But you know what, I will just say that I gained a little bit of Melendez's ego and that I think my arrogance is justified since some of you readers like my story so much which means that I am doing something right. Right? 😏❤️😀
> 
> I really, really like this chapter. It again shows a loving, flirtatious, sexy, supportive relationship between our two favourite love birds. What is new is that you will also see more of their domestic side. I hope you will like it. 💖
> 
> Thank you to every reader that reads my story. You are the best! 🤗😘
> 
> Sarah

As Claire and Neil entered their apartment, Claire sighed deeply.

»Finally, we are home,« she said relieved, took off her shoes and put her purse on the cupboard.

Neil, taking off the jacket of his suit, turned to face her and looked at her. A tiny satisfied smile appeared on his face.

»What are you smiling about?« Claire asked him and she had a feeling Neil was plotting something.

»I like it when you say you're finally home. I am happy that you perceive this as your home.«

»This is my home, isn't it? It's from both of us, right?«

»Yes, of course, it is. Do you miss it? Your apartment? Having space just for yourself,« Neil asked curiously.

»No, I don't. I love this nest of ours. I like it because you're here. That's the only thing that matters to me. As long as I'm with you, I don't care where I am.«

Neil became serious, his smile faded, and instead, a loving look and expression of gratitude appeared on his face. He didn’t know what he had done in his life so that life gave him Claire. Who would have thought that the small, shy, and reserved resident he met five years ago would steal his heart and bring everything he needs into his life. Looking at her now, he realized she has changed. She was no longer insecure, reserved, or shy. She has grown into a strong person, both professionally and personally. If he thought about it, he changed too. He was changed by the accident that happened to him and he also changed because of Claire. The things he once thought were important to him now had no value to him. After he almost died, he began to realize that life was too short to burden himself with things not worthy of his attention. The fact that he could do his job, that he had a roof over his head, and that he had Claire by his side was all he really needed. Everything else was of secondary importance. There were still things in life he wanted, things he didn’t have yet, but he knew it would all come when the time was right. Until now everything has gone exactly as it should. Neil's thoughts drifted to the past when he suggested to Claire that she moves in with him.

***

_Neil and Claire were sitting in the dining room and they just finished their late dinner._

_»I have to go home now. I have a whole bunch of papers on my desk that I have to take with me to work tomorrow. I forgot to put them in the car so I could stay here. I also forgot the computer. I don't know where my head was at,« Claire said disappointed and annoyed._

_»You were eager to see me as soon as possible,« Neil said with a smile on his face and his smile reached his eyes because Claire saw how they were sparkling._

_»You are right. I did want to see you. We barely saw each other in the last three days. I hate it when we don't have the same work schedule.«_

_»It's late and you are tired. We can go to your apartment in the morning to pick them up,« Neil suggested not wanting that Claire leaves so late._

_»No, I have to go. Morgan gave me this article of hers to read and I promised that I will read it until tomorrow. So it's going to be a long night since the article has forty freaking pages. I have to read it because she has a deadline next week I think.«_

_»Morgan asked you to read her article?« Neil said bewildered._

_»Yes, she wants my opinion before she submits the article for review to her boss,« Claire said and smiled at him._

_»You said forty pages? Gosh, when will I have time to read that?«_

_»Well, you will have to find it.«_

_»You two seem more close lately,« Neil said because he noticed at work and also outside the hospital that Claire and Morgan are becoming friends even if that was hard to believe because of everything that happened in the past._

_»Yes, I guess we are. She is really putting a lot of effort into our friendship. She actually changed. I mean she still has this bitchy attitude sometimes but not towards me,« Claire answered._

_»You think she's honest?« Neil asked and Claire sighed._

_»Yes, she really regrets what she did.«_

_»If you say so. She better not hurt you again or betray your trust otherwise she will see what an angry boyfriend can do,« Neil said and Claire smiled at his remark._

_»I love it when you are so protective.«_

_»I'll kidnap you after work tomorrow and take you here with me. It's time that we spend more time together. I miss you.«_

_»Ok boyfriend, you can kidnap me. I don't mind,« Claire said playfully._

_»You know …« Neil started to speak but then fell silent not being sure if it's ok to suggest what he had in mind._

_»What?«_

_»It's nothing, forget it.«_

_»No, what is it?«_

_»Move in with me … that would fix a lot of our problems.«_

_Claire fell silent and Neil saw the confusion on her face. He got scared that he crossed the line with his suggestion._

_»Are you serious with this?« she asked and Neil couldn't decide by the tone of her voice if Claire was merely surprised by his proposal or if she was upset about it._

_»I, yes. I mean, if you would want to. It's just a suggestion. I'm not pushing you or anything. You don't have to feel pressured if you're not ready.«_

_»You just surprised me, that's all. I never thought about moving in with you and we never talked about it until now.«_

_»Think about it. You don't have to decide today or tomorrow.«_

_»You really are serious about this, aren't you?« Claire asked one more time and looked at Neil with a serious expression on her face._

_»Yes, I am. I wouldn't suggest it if I wasn't serious. If we lived together we would have more time for one another even if our shifts in the hospital are different. Plus, if you ask me you are paying a rent for that apartment of yours that is much higher than it is all actually worth.«_

_»You are damn right about that. But don't think that if I move in with you that I won't contribute my share here.«_

_»You said if you move here … so you like the idea? Are you going to consider it?« Neil said and Claire could see the smile that suddenly appeared on his face._

_She saw that he was excited at the thought of her moving in with him. His smile gave it away._

_»I will think about it but I don't promise anything, ok?« she said carefully not knowing how to feel about his suggestion._

_»Yes, sure. Like I said, take your time. No hurry.«_

_»Ok, now I really have to go. It's really late. I probably won't sleep at all tonight,« she said slowly standing up._

_She stepped towards Neil and standing between his legs she leaned down to give him a goodbye kiss. When she wanted to turn to go his hands grabbed her by the hips and pulled her back closer to him. Claire stumbled slightly and her hands landed on his shoulders helping her as not to lose her balance._

_»Neil, don't even think about it. I really have to go,« she said playfully when she saw a naughty look on his face._

_»If you stay … I will make it worth your while,« Neil said and his hands found their way under Claire's shirt. Claire knew that now she really has to go otherwise she will never be able to leave the apartment, not if he starts using his charm on her in his full power._

_»Sorry, babe. I would love to stay and see what you have in mind but it will have to wait until tomorr…«_

_Claire's proverbs were silenced when Neil suddenly pulled her roughly to him so that she landed in his lap, her legs on each side of his hips. Her gaze stopped on Neil's lips, his closeness paralyzing her. Their gazes met and Claire, despite being together with him for more than half a year, could not comprehend how it was possible to still feel this crazy passion for him that made her lose her ability to think. I didn't happen to her before with anyone else. The passion and interest always faded with time. But not with Neil. If she thought about it, over time things only got better between them, because at first, they were careful about each other, they were going slow. Now, however, they already knew each other so well in all aspects of their lives that they no longer had any restraints that would hold them back. Because of that, they felt free to do anything they wanted._

_»Just shut up and kiss me,« he whispered seriously looking at her lips and he gently moved her loose soft curls back onto her back._

_Neil waited patiently for what Claire would do and that's when he saw it. That look of hers that only he was meant to see. The look that was reserved just for him and no one else saw it. Her serious passionate dominant look because of which he always lost the ground under his feet and at which he knew that her dominant side was taking over and he had no chance of victory. Claire was very much aware of her power, and she began to use her dominance over him with even greater joy when she noticed that he liked this side of her._

_»Say it again,« she said quietly not breaking eye contact between them._

_»I want you to shut up and kiss me.«_

_»Of course you do,« she whispered and wrapped her left arm around his shoulders, squeezing herself closer to him, and with the thumb of her right hand, she gently touched his lower lip._

_Claire slowly started leaning down toward his face and when Neil already thought he was going to taste her lips, she pulled away and he felt her soft lips on his neck. When she touched his earlobe with her tongue and bit it gently Neil couldn't hold back the deep moan that escaped his lips. His eyes rolled back into his head with pleasure, he slowly closed them and his head fell back on the backrest of the chair in surrender while Claire continued with her kisses from the neck to his jaw and then finally she cupped his face to bring it to her face and finally, she kissed him. They were already both panting, breathing heavily while the kiss got deeper and more passionate. Claire's hips were rubbing gently against Neil's crotch, making him even more desperate to be with her. Neil lost himself in the feelings she had made him feel and when she suddenly moved away from him, he opened his eyes and was utterly lost for a moment._

_»What are you doing?« he said breathlessly looking at Claire that was taking slow steps away from him with a smile that had a touch of naughtiness about it._

_»Claire, don't … don't you dare to leave now,« he said back to her not truly believing that she will leave him after what she started._

_»Sorry babe but I have to go,« she said like the hot make-out session never happened._

_Neil couldn't believe it. She never pulled a stunt like that before. He just sat in the chair, not being able to move and he looked at her while she dressed herself in her coat._

_»I will not forget this you know, you'll see what I'll do to you when I lay my hands on you,« Neil whispered to her and she looked at him with a smile on her face._

_»Can't wait,« she simply said and then went toward the entrance doors._

_When Neil heard the door closing he still felt lost looking towards the hallway._

_»Unbelievable, she is unbelievable,« he whispered to himself and then smiled and suddenly he heard his phone buzzing._

_He opened up the message that Claire has sent to him._

_»I love you,« the message said and Neil smiled while looking at those three words._

_»God, I am so in love with you too,« he whispered to himself and then wrote those exact words back to her feeling happy and looking forward to the day that was coming because he knew that he will get back at her for what she did._

_As Claire drove toward her home, Neil’s offer didn’t give her peace. She wasn’t entirely sure if she would be able to focus at all on reading Morgan’s article given that her head was completely in a different place. She felt insecure. Neil’s offer confused her as she didn’t expect it. She looked at her watch and saw that it was almost midnight. She picked up the phone, but when she almost called her, she changed her mind about the late hour, even though she knew Morgan was a night bird and was probably still awake. After five minutes, she nervously grabbed the phone again from the passenger seat and called the person she now considered a friend._

_»Claire, what's up? You find my article so good you weren't able to wait to tell me until tomorrow?« Morgan said jokingly._

_»Honestly, I haven't read it yet. Right now I am in the car. I will read it when I come home.«_

_»You are going to read it now? It's almost midnight. Leave it and do it tomorrow. You need to rest.«  
»It's not a problem, I am a fast reader.«_

_»So, what is this call about?«_

_»I need advice and you are cheaper than my therapist,« Claire said and heard Morgan laugh on the other side of the phone._

_»Ok, ask away.«_

_»Would you move in with someone after half a year of being together or do you think it's too soon?«_

_There was silence on the other side of the phone for a moment._

_»Morgan, are you still there?«_

_»Melendez asked you to move in with him, didn't he?«_

_»Yes, he did. I mean we were talking about how we don't have as much time as we would want to have to be together outside of work and he somehow just blurted it out.«_

_»So what is it that bothers you?«_

_»I don't know what to do.«_

_»How do you feel about his suggestion?«_

_»I think it would be great, I mean I love him, I am crazy about him you know and I love spending time with him.«_

_»Ok, so what is the problem then?«_

_»What if it doesn't work out? What if we become one of those couples that are annoyed with one another? What if we start arguing about who has to take out the trash?« Claire babbled into the phone and Morgan couldn't hold back a laugh at her questions._

_»Claire, it's probably going to be different but I think in a good way. Please, don't overanalyze it. It's not a secret you were always afraid of true commitment and look at you today. You are in a serious relationship that will most likely last forever. This is just one more step in your relationship.«_

_»But isn't it too soon?«_

_»I don't know. Just you know what pace is good for you. But I do think that Melendez, after what happened to him, probably perceives time differently you know. He almost died. I think he doesn't want to waste time because he knows it's precious.«_

_Claire fell silent and thought about Morgan's words. She never thought about it like that. Neil probably really did perceive time differently._

_»What will the hospital say?«_

_»Gosh Claire, why do you care what the hospital will say? They know you two are together and it is none of their business where you live.«_

_»Yeah …«_

_»Listen, just do what your heart tells you to do. If you want to move in with him then do it, if you don't tell him that you are not ready yet. But don't say no just because you are scared. You were scared when you two started dating but you didn't run away from him and look at how it turned out. Amazing, right?«_

_»Yes, you're right.«_

_»I know I am. Plus, c'mon. Who would say no to that beautiful apartment of his?« Morgan said and Claire laughed._

_»Thank you, Morgan.«_

_»You're welcome.«_

_Claire didn't sleep much that night. After she read Morgan's article and wrote some of her own suggestions for her she was thinking about what to do._

_»Move or not to move, that is the question,« she whispered at four o'clock in the morning sitting in her small living room and then decided that it would be a good decision if she at least slept for two hours before she goes to work._

_The next day passed quickly for Claire. Her shift was full of different patients and when she looked at the watch at three o'clock she couldn't believe how fast the shift went by. She went to her car and decided that she will go straight to Neil's apartment, even though he wouldn't be home until the late evening. She wanted to be there alone for a little while to think about Neil's suggestion. When she heard the keys in the door when he came home, her heart skipped a beat. Was her decision the right one, she thought._

_»Hey beautiful, you didn't really make it hard for me with the whole plan of kidnapping you,« Neil said and smiled when he came to the living room seeing her sitting on a sofa._

_»How was work?« she asked and looked at him noticing that he didn't change after shift. He was still in his surgical scrubs._

_»Good, nothing too difficult or stressful. How was your shift?«_

_»Same,« Claire answered and her gaze was locked on him._

_»Why are you looking at me like that?«_

_»You're so handsome,« she whispered and smiled at him._

_»Due to what you pulled off yesterday with me, I guess I am not handsome enough,« Neil said jokingly and that made Claire laugh out loud._

_»I know how to make it up to you,« she said getting up from to sofa stepping towards him crossing her arms behind his neck._

_»Don't think that I will make it easy for you. You will really have to work hard so that I forgive you for leaving me dry yesterday,« he said with a cocky smile on his face._

_Claire laughed again but then she got serious and looked at his eyes that had playfulness in them that she liked so much._

_»What if I tell you that I want to move in with you?« she whispered and the cocky smile on Neil's face faded._

_Instead, he looked at her surprised and with disbelieve in his eyes._

_»Are you serious? Don't joke with this,« he whispered._

_»If your offer still stands then yes, I would want to move in with you.«_

_A big smile suddenly appeared on Neil's face. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist and she suddenly lost the ground under her feet as he spun her around the living room. At that moment Claire knew that she made the right decision. She felt at peace and seeing Neil so happy in his boyish and playful mode warmed her heart and made her love him even more if that was even possible._

_»Neil, let me go! I'm dizzy of all this spinning,« Claire screamed between laughs and Neil stopped putting her down._

_»You have no idea how happy you made me. This is going to be great. I know it,« he said with a big smile on his face and then he grabbed her face pressing his lips on hers._

_»We have to celebrate this decision of yours. Wait here,« he said and headed for the kitchen, where he took champagne from the refrigerator and two glasses._

_»We should have a toast when I actually move in,« Claire said with a smile on her face when he gave her the glass and started opening up the champagne._

_»No worries. We will have it. But now … this moment is also worthy of a toast,« Neil said smiling pouring them champagne._

_With their full glasses in hands, they looked at each other and smiled at one another like two idiots._

_»You know, every day with you is worthy of a toast,« Claire whispered and Neil got serious at her words._

_»I love you,« he whispered and raised his glass._

_»I love you too,« she said back and they drank the champagne that went down their throats like silk._

_They didn't stop at just one glass that night. Only a week passed by and Claire was already settled in what they now called their home._

***

»What are you thinking about?« Claire asked him as they were still standing in the hallway.

»Do you remember the moment when you told me you are moving in here? I was so happy.«

»Yes, I remember. It was really special. All of my fears disappeared when you spun me around and held me close. At that moment I knew I made the right decision and that everything is going to be ok.«

»Come here,« Neil said, took Claire's hand in his and pulled her close to him.

»I love you,« he whispered ad leaned down to kiss her.

Claire instantly surrendered to his kiss and Neil had the feeling that their moment in the car never really ended and that this was just a continuation of it. In his embrace, Claire always felt calm, content. It didn't matter if they shared a simple loving embrace when they watched TV together or if they made love to each other without ever wanting to stop. She felt secure, loved in every moment she was with him and she was grateful for that. Before he came into her life, she never felt like that. She always missed the closeness of another human being. She didn't even know how to love someone, keep someone by her side, and adapt and surrender to that person. Neil taught her that. He taught her so many things.

Claire lost herself in his embrace, in his kisses, and didn’t even know how they got to the living room. Suddenly she found herself under him and their bodies found a comfortable position on the comfy couch that was often the victim of their sometimes innocent teasing games and sometimes their most passionate moments. Neil reached for her leg and wrapped it around his hips. Claire felt his hand slide slowly up her thigh and under her shirt and she felt his warm hand gently squeeze her breast. At that moment her breath hitched and Neil looked at her loving the view under him. He froze and just stared at her and Claire felt that she lost him for a second. He looked at her like he couldn't believe that she was there with him.

»Are you ok babe?« Claire asked him when he didn't say anything.

»Do you ever stop and think about how amazing life is? I mean, if you think about it, let's say … two years ago. Who were we to each other?«

»Well, I was a resident trying to endure the arrogance of my boss, nothing really changed for me since then,« she said with a smile on her face and started playing with the buttons of his shirt.

»Very funny … but seriously, we were just co-workers. You were my resident, I was your boss. Sometimes I just can believe that we are where we are. We've come such a long way.«

»Well, you always thought that I was special, you told me that yourself a long time ago. It was just a matter of time that you lose your head and fall madly in love with me and my brilliance,« Claire teased him and slid her fingers into his hair loving the felling between her fingers.

»I recognize brilliance when I see it,« he said smiling and leaned down leaving gentle kisses on her cheek.

»You know,« Claire started talking and Neil looked at her again, »funny things is that it was my mom that brought me you. When she died you were the one that helped me get through my loss. I always said that she never gave me anything good, anything that would make my life better, easier but … in reality she gave me everything because she brought you in my life in a way that I have never imagined it was possible,« Claire said and her voice trembled.

»Oh Claire,« Neil whispered, gently cupped her cheek and he leaned down to her neck because he knew that Claire adores when he gives special attention to it.

Neil felt Claire's hands gently traveling over his back up and down. While he was gently kissing her neck and cheeks, every now and then Claire brushed her lips against his. At certain moments Claire moaned softly and that was Neil's favourite tune. He adored moments like this. Gentle, slow, simple. Sometimes they felt even more intimate than when they had sex. 

»Neil, what are we going to eat?«

Neil stopped kissing her neck and looked at her face.

»Seriously? You are thinking about food right now? I must be doing something wrong.«

Claire laughed and kissed him.

»Oh no babe, you're perfect. It's just I didn't eat anything from breakfast. I am famished and my stomach is protesting. Can't you hear it?« Claire said and smiled.

»Nope, I don't hear anything because right now there is this beautiful woman under me and she is very distracting.«

»Is she?«

»Mhm. I can order something for us to eat when we finish what we started,« Neil whispered playfully.

»Finish what we started? This could go on for hours,« Claire said and Neil smiled.

»Plus, I thought that I could make something,« Claire said and felt how Neil froze and looked at her again with disbelief. Then he burst out laughing.

»What? What's funny?«

»Since you are such a dedicated chef«, Neil said with a sarcastic tone, »I just thought that you want to tell me a joke.«

»Very funny Neil.«

»Since when do you want to cook by yourself?«

»Is it really so hard to believe?«

»Yes, it is,« Neil said and got up from her.

»Hey, where are you going?«

»I just really want to see what you will cook, so chop chop. The kitchen is waiting for you with open arms.«

»What about finishing what we started?« Claire asked.

»Oh, babe … that will have to wait because me seeing you cooking on your own is a thing I don't want to wait another minute to see it.«

Claire got up and stood in front of him.

»You'll see. I will cook you dinner and it is going to be edible,« Claire said and Neil laughed, loving her mood that was a mix of determination and mischief.

As Claire went to the kitchen Neil sat down at the dining room table and placed a pile of papers and a computer in front of him.

»Didn't you say that you did all of the paperwork in the hospital already?« Claire asked while she put all the ingredients for her famous dinner, for which she really hoped that it will be good, on the kitchen counter.

»Yes, I did. This is just new research about appendectomy during pregnancy. I am performing it on Monday.«

»How far along is the pregnancy?«

»Thirty-one weeks.«

»Late into the third trimester. She didn't have problems sooner?« Claire asked knowing that appendectomy in the third trimester can be tricky.

»She had abdominal pain three weeks ago but was not diagnosed with appendicitis at another hospital. I don’t know how they could have missed that. She came to us on Wednesday, we did tests and found that surgery would be necessary.«

»Do you already have the surgical team?«

»No. Audrey will tell me tomorrow who is going to be next to me but I asked for you.«

»Really?«

»Yes, it's been a while since we worked together. I said to her that I want to see you in action again as my first surgical assistant,« he said and smiled at her.

»Ok, now I am going to be nervous.«

»Why?«  
»Because I have to measure up to your high expectations.«

»Oh Claire, if there is anyone that can measure up to my high expectations,« he quoted her »it's you. Plus, Andrews is saying you are doing great.«

»You talk with Andrews about me?«

»Claire, of course, I talk with him. When it comes to your lead surgeries he is the one who is most often your attending surgeon. I am still your boss and I'm up to date on how you're doing.«

»You know, I miss you in the operating room next to me when I have lead surgeries. I mean I understand that they don't allow you next to me when I am leading a surgery but … with you next to me I always felt calmer.«

»I miss it too. But we should be grateful that they even let us work together.«

»Yea, I know.«

»Are you just gonna talk or are you actually going to cook something because I am getting hungry here too,« Neil teased her and Claire immediately smiled and nodded looking at the ingredients in front of her.

From these ingredients, Morgan cooked them dinner last week when Claire went to visit her to have a girl chat. Claire kept a close eye on what Morgan was doing at the time, and Morgan patiently explained everything to her and let her help her as well. Now that Claire was alone in the kitchen she was no longer so brave as she was when she suggested to cook them lunch. You can do this Claire, she thought feeling stupid.

»Are you ok? You look lost babe. I can help you you know?« Neil said with a smile and already started to get up from his chair.

»No! Sit down. I can do this. It's not that hard. If I know how to lead a surgery I have to know how to cook this chicken. You just read your article,« she said with a raised hand that let him know to stay where he is.

»Ok, I won't impose,« Neil said smiling and sat down again.

Claire focused as she began to cook, trying to recall everything Morgan had told her when they cooked together. She poured olive oil into the pan, washed the chicken breasts, and seasoned them carefully and somewhat uncertainly, not knowing how much spices to use. She followed Morgan's advice that it was better to add more spices later than to spice the food too much already in the beginning. When the chicken had been baking in the pan for some time, she put some water in the pot, salted it, let it boil, and then dissolved a little butter in it.

»You know, something already smells good,« Neil said not looking away from the computer.

»Don't praise too soon. I'm not over yet and something can probably still go wrong.«

Neil smiled to himself at her remark and continued his work.

»Oh my God!« Claire suddenly said when she remembered that he didn't tell her at the hospital why they have to go shopping at the weekend.

»What? What happened?« Neil asked suddenly looking up from the papers on the table.

»Nothing! I just remember that you didn't want to share something with me today. You said we need to go shopping and that you will tell me details when we get home.«

»Jesus Claire, I thought that you have cut yourself or something.«

»I am not that clumsy. And even if I was, I have this badass surgeon within reach so I am not really worried.«

»Flirt,« he said and smiled.

»So? Why do we have to go shopping?«

»Next Saturday there is a charity gala at the hospital. The hospital is sending invitations to everybody tomorrow. I need a new tux and well … I want to buy you a new dress.«

»Neil, I have plenty of dresses. I don't need a new one,« Claire said.

»Yes, you do. I have never bought you an elegant dress and I want to … and I will,« he said confidently not leaving room for her arguments.

»Are we gonna go together?« Claire suddenly asked not knowing how to feel about it.

Neil turned towards her on his chair and looked at her.

»Of course we are going together. Why are you even asking me that?«

»I don't know if it's a good idea that we go together and I am all over you as your girlfriend.«

»But that is what you are. My girlfriend. And my girlfriend will hold me by the arm even if everyone's jaw falls to the ground,« Neil answered seriously and saw the uncertainty in Claire's eyes.

»Claire, we are together for a year already. Everybody knows about us. We live together. We work together. Most likely no one will even react anymore when we will come together to the event. And I don't want that we are there just as two co-workers. We are a couple and we will act like it.«

»But there will be many other people at this event, people who do not know us,« Claire said.

»People who don't know us don't matter.«

Suddenly there was silence between them.

»You don't want to go with me?« Neil asked looking at her seriously and somehow worried.

»Of course I do! I do want to go to the gala with you. How could you even think that I don't want to? But … I don't want other people to whisper behind our backs again. I feel like we are finally in a good place, that things settled down in the hospital and I am afraid that this will start a new wave of rumors and accusations again.«

»Listen Claire. We will drink a little, we will eat a little and maybe we will share a dance together. We won't make out in front of everybody like two teenagers that can't control themselves,« Neil said and those words finally brought a smile to Claire's face.

»We won't make out? Now that's disappointing,« Claire said teasingly and Neil smiled.

»So, what do you say dr. Browne? Are you going to be my plus one?«

»No, you are going to be my plus one,« she said and smiled.

»Ok, as you command babe, I'm fine with it,« Neil said and smiled at her with the beautiful boyish smile that made him look younger than he was.

»Now stop starring at me and watch that the food doesn't burn,« he added and Claire suddenly looked at the stove in front of her.

»Shit,« she said, lifted the lid from the pan and she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that all was well and that she had avoided disaster.

When the chicken was done, she poured whole-grain couscous into the water and covered the pot. At the time the couscous was being prepared, she tackled the cream sauce for the chicken and at the end added already cooked peas into it. The whole time she was cooking, she was tasting the food she was preparing, and in the end, when she had carefully added the spices four times already, she was finally satisfied with it.

»Babe, will you pour us a glass of wine?«

»You're done?«

»Yup.«

»What are we eating? Chicken?«

»Yes,« Claire answered while putting food on the plates.

»White wine it is then,« Neil whispered as he took a bottle of wine from the refrigerator.

As he tried to peek at what was going on at the kitchen counter, Claire quickly pushed him out of the kitchen.

»Gosh, you are so secretive,« he said laughing, quickly cleared his things from the table, prepared placemats for them and sat down.

»This is it. Nothing fancy like you cook sometimes but I think it's going to be good and with that I mean edible.«

»It smells great and it looks great. C'mon, let's eat,« Neil said and when he put the first bite in his mouth, he saw that Claire looked at him as if waiting for him to spit the food out.

»So? How is it?«

»Hmm, I don't know. I have to take another bite just to be sure.«

»C'mon, don't mess around with me,« Claire said and Neil laughed.

»It's delicious. I am actually impressed. You even made a sauce. Sauces are not just like that. You have to have a feeling for taste. And this one is very tasty and it has perfect structure.«

»You are just saying this because you want me to cook more so you wouldn't have to.«

»You know I love to cook but sometimes it's nice to be spoiled like his,« Neil said and raised his glass towards her and Claire did the same.

»I will have to ask Morgan to teach me something else.«

»She taught you this?«

»I mean, last week she cooked us this when I visited her, and I was observing her while she was cooking.«

»Ok, you should definitely go to visit her more often. I approve,« Neil said and Claire laughed.

When Claire and Neil finished their dinner, they decided to have a lazy afternoon. They settled comfortably on the couch and watched television. It didn’t take long for Claire to fall asleep in his arms and Neil played gently with the tips of her hair while watching TV. When it was already dark outside, Neil also gave in to his fatigue and fell asleep in front of the television with Claire still soundly sleeping in his arms.

It was dark outside and two police officers in charge of their safety carefully observed the surroundings.

»I'm very glad to have the chance to work with you, Sir,« officer Elisabeth Garcia said and she felt excited to be on a stakeout with her new training officer.

»Don't thank me yet rookie. Being a protective detail isn't at all exciting,« officer Derek Wesley said.

»Well, you never know.«

»Well, I would be happier if this case doesn't get exciting since we are waiting for a serial killer to show up.«

»Are they sure the same guy the police are chasing for years attacked their friend?«

»Yes, the forensic lab put a rush on the evidence one of the victims brought in when she filed a report today and they found hair on her clothes that match the DNA with our serial killer. So yes, now it's confirmed. It's him.«

»Well, lucky us,« Garcia whispered and fell silent.

»You know, I've been reading about this guy, dr. Melendez, and if I will need a bullet removal one day, I want him to do it. His biography and all of his achievements are off the charts,« Garcia again broke the silence in the car and suddenly officer Wesley shushed her when he saw someone in a hoodie approaching the building where two people they were assigned to protect were soundly asleep not aware of what was happening outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think of this chapter in the comments. What was your favourite part? 😊
> 
> Thank you again so much for taking the time to read chapter twelve! 🤗


	13. What have I done in my life to deserve you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are Neil and Claire in danger? How will two police officers handle the situation with a man in the hoodie? Find out in chapter thirteen of Grateful for you. Oh, and there are some fluffy cute moments too for you to read. 🤗

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear readers! ❤️
> 
> The whole chapter is happening at the present time. I separated the parts with stars sometimes just to make it more clear when the perspective/storyline changes.
> 
> I also need to say something. I didn't watch the premiere of TGD Season 4 and I won't watch it. I saw on social media that the show isn't going in the direction that us Melengers would want. I won't discuss it. I won't write here about how I am feeling. You know why? Because I have my own Melendaire story to write. The story that brought me so much joy and happiness in the last few months. I am always going to be grateful for having the chance to meet these characters on the show but now I am going to continue without the show. I hope that my story brings you a little bit of happiness and that you find my portrayal of Neil and Claire believable. I cherish their love so much … that's all that I want to say. 
> 
> I really hope that no matter what is happening on the show you will stick with me and continue reading my story. Like my title of the story says … I am just so grateful for you, my readers. 🤗
> 
> I hope you will love this chapter. There is a little bit of police action in it and what I personally like the most about it are dialogs, moments between Neil and Claire. One of their moments made me quite emotional and brought the sensitive side out of me while I was writing it. I hope it touches you too. ❤️🥺
> 
> Thank you so much for reading my story. Don't forget to share your opinion in the comment section. 😊
> 
> The chapter isn't proofread. Sorry in advance for any mistakes you might find. The English language is not my mother language.
> 
> Sarah

**Morgan's apartment, 10.47 PM**

_She ran. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her. She was out of breath, her lungs were burning, her eyesight got blurry due to fatigue and fear she was feeling, and she felt drops of sweat running down her forehead and along her spine. She ran across the street when she finally saw the building that she was headed for. Only this time she didn't just need shelter. She had to warn them. She should have warned them already. But now it was too late to regret her decision of keeping everything a secret. All three were in danger because of her now. She needs to protect them. She ran into the lobby of the building and looked around. There was almost complete darkness in the building, which was unusual. There was a deadly silence that a man could cut with a knife. She tried to gather her thoughts, suddenly she heard footsteps approaching. She forced her legs to move again and then she ran forward up the stairs to the third floor. She stopped in front of the door of their apartment and started pounding on the door with her fist. Nothing. No effect. Her movement made no sound. The only thing that let her know she was knocking on the door in front of her was that she felt pain in her hand. The only sound she could hear was the footsteps slowly approaching her with each passing second. She opened her mouth and shouted their names while still pounding on the door, but the sound didn't come out of her mouth. It was as if she was mute._

_»Did you really think I won't come back for you?« she suddenly heard a low and raspy voice that made her stop pounding on the door._

_She pulled away from the door and looked down the dark hallway. She saw only the outline of a tall figure. She knew she had no choice but to run away, but when she turned to run, a wall stood in front of her, the hallway no longer continuing. She could have sworn there was no wall at this point a second earlier. It was not clear to her what was going on. She felt like she was going crazy. With panic in her eyes, she stared at the wall in front of her, touching it with her palms as if to make sure the wall in front of her really was real._

_»You can't run away from me. Not this time. It's over,« she heard his voice and slowly began to step back as far as space allowed her. It didn’t take long for her to feel the wall behind her back. The man began to approach her and she felt her heart rate quicken, she felt pressure in her chest and she had a feeling she couldn’t get enough air. She wondered if the feeling before the stroke described by her patients was similar. Maybe her heart will betray her. Maybe it will stop out of fear. That would be best, she thought. She would leave this world without even knowing when. Her heart would stop beating, she would fall to the ground and she would be saved from the horror that awaits her if he gets her hands on her._

_»You know what I adore? Your fear. That's what drives me. If it weren't for that fear in your eyes, I might have let you go. But fear is what makes all this so much more interesting,« she heard his scary voice again and saw how he moved with slow steps toward her. Her body awoke one last time, pushing the fear as far away as possible and turning on the instinct for survival. She rushed forward toward the man in front of her, hoping she could slip away from him by some incredible coincidence. Suddenly she felt the rough grip of his hands on her upper arms and the next moment he threw her against the wall. She was engulfed in complete darkness._

Morgan almost jumped out of bed when she woke up from her nightmare. She looked around her room and she saw a gentle light coming through the curtains. She looked at her hands and she had a feeling that they hurt from all the knocking and pounding that she did while she was having a nightmare. She squeezed her hands tightly to her chest and took a deep breath.

»Shit Morgan, get yourself together,« she whispered to herself and her body was overwhelmed with relief when she realized that she has a voice and that the loss of her voice was just a fruit of her nightmare.

She got out of bed and went to the living room, where she left her phone. It was almost 11 PM and she wanted to call Claire to carefully ask her what she was doing and if Neil was with her. She had a bad feeling. The nightmare upset her. Even if it wasn’t real, it felt like it all really happened. She had almost called her when she suddenly changed her mind. She can't call. There is a protection detail watching in front of the building. The police will protect them. If she calls Claire now and starts to ask her weird questions about what she’s doing and if all goes well, Claire will know right away that something is wrong.

Morgan knew where the nightmare came from. The nightmare didn't creep into her mind just because of the attack she suffered, but ever since she was called by Marco, the lead detective on her case, that confirmed that she had been attacked by the serial killer they were looking for, her fear only deepened. Morgan stood in the middle of the living room and suddenly took quick steps toward the front door, checking to see if it was locked. She then stepped toward the window and looked out onto the street, where she saw a civilian car that she knew was not really a civilian. There were two police officers sitting in it, in charge of her safety. She felt panic begin to grip her. Worst of all, she no longer felt safe in her own home. She knew she would have to talk to someone about it sooner or later. She won't be able to process this on her own. But with whom? She will try to protect Neil and Claire from this for as long as she can. She also didn't want to burden Henry with this. Henry was someone she wanted to get to know better in a calm, unencumbered way. She liked him. She didn’t want to chain him to herself with her problems. Maybe she could talk to Marco or a therapist about it.

»C'mon Morgan, everything will be okay. It was just a nightmare,« she whispered trying to calm herself but she didn't really believe her own comforting words.

She slowly made her way back to the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. She slowly opened the nightstand in which she kept the gun. People who knew Morgan knew she had a gun license. When she and Claire thought Claire's mom was in trouble in the past, and they went looking for her guy to warn him to leave her mom alone, Morgan had a gun with her, but Claire objected. Claire may not have been in favor of Morgan owning a gun, but for Morgan, that meant the only tangible security at the moment.

***

**Fremont Street, 11.14 PM**

»What are we going to do?« officer Garcia asked her training officer and carefully watched the man in the hoodie approaching the entrance to the building.

»What do you think rookie? We are going to check it out,« officer Wesley said and slowly started getting out of the car.

»Shouldn't we call back-up?«

Officer Wesley looked at his trainee and rolled his eyes.

»You are my back-up. You know, if you're scared, you can wait in the car.«

»No Sir, I'm not scared.«

»Let's go then.«

»Central, here SJ323, we just left the car at Fremont Street 45. Checking out for possible threat. Stand by,« Wesley said and heard a voice in his earpiece confirming his message.

»Do you have any advice?« Garcia said.

»Mhm, if the bullets start flying make sure that they are caught in your bulletproof vest.«

»Very funny.«

Wesley and Garcia casually and calmly headed across the road. Wesley has worked for the police for good fifteen years. He also did a lot of work undercover, so he knew they had to blend in with the surroundings. As they entered through the entrance of the building, the man in the hoodie was already gone. They also didn't see a security guard who should be at the front desk.

»So much for security …« Wesley hissed and looked toward the stairs.

As Wesley and Garcia took a step forward to go up the stairs, they suddenly heard the security guard.

»Hey, who are you?«

»San Jose Police Department,« Wesley said and showed his badge that was hidden under his shirt.

»Did you see a man in the hoodie that just came in?«

»No, I didn't.«

»Lock the entrance of the building and wait here. Don't let anyone leave until we come back. We'll take a look around.«

»Is something wrong?« the security guard asked but Wesley and Garcia were already on their way up to the stairs.

***

Claire and Neil slept peacefully, but suddenly they both woke up when they heard a breaking sound that was coming from the hallway. Neil tried to get up but Claire hugged him even tighter so he wasn't able to leave the couch.

»C'mon babe, let me check what is going on,« he said leaning on his elbows trying to get away from Claire that wrapped herself around him like a panda.

»No, I'm not letting you go. Most likely Elizabeth's dog knocked down her pot with flowers at her entrance again. Nothing new. Just stay here.«

Neil again laid down comfortably next to Claire that immediately snuggled back next to him and laid her head in the crook of his neck enjoying his scent that she adored.

»I really don't know who gave a seventy-year-old woman the idea of buying a dog like that. She bought a Bernardine for Christ's sake. This dog is too big and too strong for her. She can't handle him.«

»Well, I just really hope that the dog is going to stay at breaking her pots and not her bones in the future,« Claire answered at Neil's remark.

»Yeah …«

»Maybe we should get a dog. A small one.«

»We are not getting a dog,« Neil suddenly said with the sound of disapproval and determination in his voice.

»Why not? They are so cute and cuddly.«

»As I said, we are not getting a dog, and I have you to cuddle. You take up most of my time,« Neil said, kissed Claire on the top of her head and his gesture brought a satisfied smile on her face.

»You don't like dogs? You know, now you are against it but as soon as we would get the dog you would probably cuddle the dog more than I would,« Claire said and smiled.

»I like dogs but I also know that we don't have time for a dog.«

»Well, you are right about that,« Claire whispered.

»Plus, I don't want you to get jealous with my attention being focused on someone else. Imagine not getting so much cuddling from me,« Neil said.

»The horror,« Claire said sarcastically and laughed.

»Hey, what are you saying? That you wouldn't miss my cuddles?«

»I'm just saying that I would give up a share of your attention if it meant we were going to have a dog,« Claire said not really meaning it.

»Ok, now we definitely won't get a dog. In the beginning, you wouldn't miss my cuddles and with time I would probably have to sleep on the couch so that the dog could have my side of the bed.«

Claire started laughing at Neil's words and then looked at him.

»This can never happen, babe. If you don't know it yet … you're kind of addictive.«

»Oh really?« Neil whispered and his gaze stopped on Claire's lips and he could see a tiny seductive smile on them.

»Mhm, really,« she whispered and fingers of her left hand began to play with the collar of his shirt.

»Do you need another fix?« Neil whispered back and Claire's body shivered from pleasure when she felt Neil's warm fingers gently traveling up and down her spine.

»Don't you know? I'm already too deep with my addiction. I don't have the will to refuse another fix,« she whispered back, pressed her hips closer to his, and hoped that his hand will find its way from her spine to where she really wanted it.

»Lucky me,« she heard how he whispered against her lips, and in the next moment, she felt his soft kissable lips on hers.

Claire was taken to a completely different world when she was with him. She felt like she was going to melt in his arms. All of her problems and worries went away. She felt calm, safe when he was next to her.

Their blissful state was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a dull thud coming from the hallway, and they looked at each other for a moment with a questioning and confused look. Suddenly they heard people talking but couldn't make out the words. Claire slowly released Neil from her embrace and looked toward the front door.

»What the hell is going on outside tonight?« she said and looked at Neil that got up from the sofa and started to go toward their entrance door.

»What are you doing?« Claire suddenly asked him and Neil turned around.

»I'm going to check out what is going on.«

»No, don't.«

»Claire, maybe someone fell down the stairs or something.«

»Just call the security guy first,« Claire said.

»Are you scared?« Neil said with a teasing smile on his face.

»No, just careful. There is always peace in this building at night. Something just doesn't feel right.«

Neil called Jack at the front desk and after a ring, Jack answered.

»Mr. Melendez, how can I help you?«

»Jack, what is going on? We've heard some noises from the hallway.«

»It's nothing,« Jack said with a calming voice not wanting to cause panic by telling him that the police are in the building, »Elizabeth's dog is causing noise again.«

»Are you sure this was just a dog?« Neil asked not really convinced by Jack's answer.

»Yes. Don't worry, if someone will need a surgeon you are the first one that I will call,« Jack tried to light up the mood.

»Fine, I just hope that the dog won't be the one in need of surgery. I'm not a vet,« Neil said and Jack laughed at his comment.

»Good night Mr. Melendez.«

»How many times do I have to tell you that you can call me Neil?«

»Fine, good night Neil.«

»Good night.«

»What was it?« Claire asked standing behind him.

»I don't know exactly. Jack said that it was Elizabeth's dog.«

»Seriously?«

»Yes. You know what, I don't care. It has been a long day. C'mon hotshot, let's just go to bed. I want more cuddles,« Neil said, took her by the hand and Claire happily followed his steps toward their bedroom.

***

Wesley and Garcia knew that Claire and Neil had their apartment on the third floor. When they came to the first floor they suddenly saw a lady with a large Bernardine that was coming from the other end of the hallway. They looked at each other in disbelief, as it was obvious that the lady had difficulty mastering the dog. The dog suddenly ran toward the door at one of the apartments and overturned a large pot, which shattered to pieces.

»Seriously? Again?« the lady said annoyed at the dog and opened the doors of her apartment, going inside leaving the shattered pot, probably deciding that she will clean up the mess in the morning.

As the lady closed the door there was again silence in the hallway and two officers continued their way to the second floor that was also empty. When they came to the third floor they saw him about ten meters in front of him. Slowly following him they became closer and closer to him.

»Melendez's apartment is on the other side of the hallway. They will hear us if we make noise. How will we proceed? We have strict orders to not blow our cover,« Garcia whispered to her training officer.

»Screw orders,« Wesley said to his rookie, pulled his gun out of the holster, and stepped faster toward their suspect and Garcia carefully followed all of his moves prepared for action just like they thought her at the police academy.

»SJPD! Stop where you are and show us your hands,« Wesley said but the man in front of them didn't stop.

The man in front of them continued his way and at that moment Wesley and Garcia looked at each other both knowing that they will have to take action.

»Last time, stop where you are and show us your hands,« he warned the person in front of them one more time.

Nothing.

Wesley was tired of waiting and disobedience. He was known for always doing things well, even though he often took risks. With quick steps, he carefully caught up with the suspect, grabbed him by the sweater, pushed him with his face against the wall, and with that a dull thud broke the silence in the hallway. He quickly patted him down to make sure he didn't have a weapon.

»Hey! What the hell?« they heard a man say and Wesley turned him around and looked at the guy in front of him.

The guy was about twenty years old and had headphones in his ears. Wesley rolled his eyes knowing that his race was probably a ghost hunt.

Wesley grabbed the headphones and pulled them from his ears.

»SJPD, what's your name?«

»What is this about?«

»What's your name? Show us your ID. Now!« Garcia asked again still holding a gun pointed at him.«

»Jesus, can't a person just come home from a walk in peace?«

»You live here?« Wesley asked as he took the ID of the man from his hands.

»Yes, with my parents. My apartment is right there, 36B,« the man said and showed to the door of his apartment.

»Central, this is SJ323, I need you to run a name for me please. Patrick Taylor.«

»He's clear. Student at San Jose State University, 20 years old, not even a parking ticket. Lives at Freemont Street, apartment 36B,« a woman from the central said and Garcia put her gun back on her hip while Wesley let Patrick go.

»What is this about?«

»We thought you were somebody else. We apologize for the inconvenience,« Wesley said and stepped two steps back.

»You do know that if the security guard is not at his post when you come to the building, you have to wait for him so that he sees that you entered the building, right?« Garcia suddenly said to Patrick.

»No, I didn't know.«

»Well, now you do. That is why the security is in the building. So they know what is going on at all times. If you waited at the desk we wouldn't assume that you are the guy we thought you are.«

»I understand officer. Won't happen again. It's just, Jack is always there. Today is the first time he wasn't. I didn't know that I had to wait. We just moved to this building a month ago.«

»It's fine. Just don't let it happen again,« Wesley said.

»Everything ok, officers?« Jack, the security guard, asked when they came back down.

»Yes, it was a false alarm,« Garcia answered and they just turned around to leave when Jack stopped them.

»But what was this about?«

»The number of burglaries in this neighborhood increased," Wesley made up the reason for their intervention.

"We were driving by when we saw a man in a hoodie going into the building. Turns out that he lives here,« Garcia continued to explain.

»Oh yes, that was probably Patrick. He's always coming late at night.«

»Probably? You are a security guard, aren't you? You should always be aware of what is happening. You not being at your post means that you are not doing your job and not doing your job can lead to serious consequences,« Wesley suddenly said disapprovingly and with annoyance in his voice.

»I just went to the toilet.«

»I don't care why you weren't here. The fact is that you left the entrance unguarded. You should lock the front door for those two minutes, don't you think?«

»Yes Sir,« Jack simply said to the officer in front of him that looked like he wants to tear him apart for his mistake.

»If you ever notice anything suspicious, give us a call,« Garcia said giving him their card trying to be friendlier with the guard than her training officer.

»Let's go rookie,« Wesley said to Garcia and they left the building.

»You sure don't know how to talk with people in a friendly manner, do you?« Garcia asked her training officer.

»He screwed up.«

»That doesn't mean you have to talk down on him. Are you going to do that to me too? Use shame methods to train me?«

Wesley turned toward his rookie not really liking her audacity. He was known as one of the best cops and as a training officer, he had a reputation. He was a pain in the ass for his rookies but his rookies were always the best at everything. So he believed that his way of training them worked. He didn't just teach them how to do their job, he was teaching them how to survive.

»I will train you however the hell I want to train you so that you become an excellent cop. This job is dangerous. One mistake can cost you your life, you know that right? If the actual serial killer would enter the building everything could go down completely different and maybe two people would be dead right now.«

»I'm just saying that you could make your point in a more respectful manner, that's it,« Garcia said quietly and Wesley put his hands on his hips and looked at the younger police officer with an intense gaze.

»I am not his friend and I hate it when people don't do their job well.«

»This case has you all pumped up.«

»Yes, I am all pumped up because the police have been chasing this monster for years and I sure as hell don't plan to look at another body. Especially not over someone that I am assigned to protect, you got that?«

»Yes Sir.«

»Did you check the victim's files?« Wesley suddenly asked.

»From the victims of our serial killer? No, not yet.«

»Well, that is your homework then. I want you to read them and to look at the pictures of his victims and then you will tell me if me scolding the security guard for not doing his job wasn't justified.«

»Yes Sir,« Garcia whispered and got back to the car where they continued their surveillance.

***

**Fremont Street, 5.06 AM**

Neil woke up an hour earlier than he had to. He tried to fall back asleep but he couldn't. He slowly turned on his side toward Claire, who was sleeping peacefully. Neil wanted to move the strand of her hair that was rebelliously falling on her face, but he held back so as not to wake her. She was lying on her stomach, her face facing Neil. She was covered up to the waist with a thin blanket, but her bare feminine back stirred Neil's imagination. At the sight of her, he closed his eyes and a small satisfied smile rose on his face when he remembered the feeling how her skin felt under his fingers. He knew he had to get out of bed because otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to resist waking her up so that he would make love to her again as he did just a few hours ago. He damn well knew Claire wouldn't mind, but he also knew she needed sleep. He slowly got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. As he entered the shower, he let the water run down his body and it calmed him down. He was nervous about Jared's surgery. He didn't know why, because he had performed this kind of surgery countless times. But he knew he had to calm down because nervousness is often a reason for mistakes and mistakes were something Neil could not afford. When Neil stepped out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and went to the closet. He threw his chosen clothes on a chair in the bedroom and he saw in the mirror that Claire was waking up. She turned slowly, pulling the blanket higher to cover her upper body.

»What a view,« she whispered and propped up to her elbows to see him better.

»Good morning beautiful,« Neil whispered, stepped toward the bed, sat down next to her, and leaned his hand against the mattress on the other side of her body so that he could comfortably lean in to kiss her.

»Mmmm, now this is how I like my mornings,« Claire whispered when he broke the kiss.

Neil smiled at her remark but Claire could immediately see that the smile didn't reach his eyes.

»What is it that occupies your mind, hm?« she said while she slowly and gently traced the lines of his stag tattoo with her fingers.

»I'm fine. I just didn't sleep very well.«

»Don't lie to me, Neil Melendez. You're bad at it,« she said playfully but Neil stayed quiet.

»You are worried about Jared's surgery.«

»I'm not.«

»Yes, you are. You can tell me these things you know. I mean, I know that you are a badass surgeon and you don't want other people to know you sometimes have doubts and fears but I am not other people. I'm your girlfriend. You always listen to me and you always have my back. Just let me do the same for you,« she said to him and moved closer to him, putting her hand at the back of his neck to comfort him.

»I'm nervous about Jared's surgery,« he admitted and took a deep breath.

»Listen, you think that you are nervous about the surgery but you are not, that I know for sure. You did this surgery countless times. It's the personal stuff with him that bothers you and makes you nervous. You have to control it because there is no reason to keep thinking about the past. Moreover, I really think that Jared realized yesterday that it's over. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.«

»I am telling this myself in my head over and over again but somehow … I don't know why I am so afraid of the possibility of losing you,« Neil suddenly said and Claire's heart skipped a beat.

»You will never lose me,« she said with a determined voice and look him directly in his eyes, and at that moment Neil felt like she is piercing into his soul.

»A lot of people that were part of my life left when I least expected it. Sometimes I just can't get my head around the fact that we are real and that this thing between us is actually so good. Sometimes it feels more like a dream than a reality,« he said and Claire was surprised at his words.

This thing with Jared really did eat him up from inside and she never realized that deep down Neil Melendez also has an insecure part of himself.

»I know how you feel. You know very well that I never had anyone in my life that I could really count on. Until you. You have no idea how much I cherish you, how much our love means to me. And that is why I will never let anyone ruin what we have,« she whispered and she could see the softness that settled in his eyes.

»If only I had a switch to be able to simply turn off these stupid feelings,« he whispered.

»Don't call your feelings stupid because they're not. They are just proof that you cherish what we have,« Claire said to him with a determined look in her eyes, and Neil nodded with a smile on his face.

»You know, I like to think that I am that switch that can make you forget about everything that worries you,« Claire suddenly whispered and crossed her arms behind his neck letting the blanket, with which she was shyly covering her breasts, fall down on the bed. She noticed how Neil's eyes fled to her naked body, how he took her in with his gaze. But his gaze wasn't the same as when lust captured him when he made love to her and made her his. Now he looked at her with calmness, the kind of adoration that she knew she is the one and only for him. While he was still sitting on the edge of the bed, he slowly and gently pulled her close to him so that she was practically lying in his embrace and her hands slid gently from behind his neck to his chest.

»You're so beautiful,« she suddenly heard him say while he gently moved that rebellious strand of her hair from her face that he already wanted to touch when he woke up.

Claire turned her gaze away from him, she shyly turned her face toward his chest and closed her eyes just enjoying the feeling of being in his arms. She suddenly found herself again in a situation where she felt vulnerable, safe, but still vulnerable. He often held her in his arms this way. Like a child that needed to be loved and protected. Neil slowly leaned down and his lips gently touched her forehead and then continued their way down her cheek. She surrendered to his tenderness, his warm lips, his soft touch, his welcoming arms that held her naked body close to him making her feel safe and loved.

»What have I done in my life to deserve you?« Neil suddenly heard Claire whisper.

»I ask myself the same question every day … How did this perfect kind woman fell in love with an arrogant ass like me,« he whispered and Claire smiled into his chest planting a kiss on his tattoo.

»If only we could stay home now. Like this. In each other's arms. You would make love to me, several times … we would eat, drink a bottle of wine, maybe two bottles, go on a walk … gosh … when was the last time we had a day like that?« Claire said with a dreamy playful voice.

Neil smiled at her words and squeezed her even closer to him planting another kiss on her forehead.

»In just a few weeks we will be able to go on vacation for a few days and I promise you I am going to be all over you,« Neil said playfully.

»Looking forward to it,« Claire said and a big smile that Neil loved so much appeared on her face.

»Me too babe,« Neil said and then looked at the clock on the other side of the room.

»Hate to break this perfect bubble of ours but we have to get ready. It's late.«

**San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital, 7.13 AM**

When Neil was sitting in his office waiting for his residents to finish morning rounds he was catching up with some of the paperwork but his mind kept drifting away to the morning he had with Claire. She really was his switch that made all of his worries disappear. He felt calm, happy, so in love with her.

»What are you smiling about?« Morgan's voice suddenly disturbed his thoughts.

»What? Nothing,« he immediately answered her.

»Mhm,« she hummed still with a smile on her face, letting him know she doesn't believe him and stepped inside his office.

»We finished our rounds. Claire went with dr. Lim to the ER and I will go with Henry to do all the imaging on that patient with severe back pain that got in yesterday. We're going to finish just in time to get Jared ready for surgery.«

»Sounds good,« Neil said and Morgan nodded and turned around prepared to leave the office.

»How are you?« she suddenly heard Neil's question and before she turned toward him again she gathered all her will not to show her concern that was eating from her inside.

»I'm fine. Everything's good,« she lied and faked a smile.

»Ok,« Neil said not really convinced by her answer but he decided not to push her.

»Listen, I owe you a thank you,« he said and leaned back in his chair.

Morgan looked at him confused.

»For what?«

»Yesterday I experienced something I never thought would happen,« Neil said and a smile again appeared on his face.

»What?« Morgan asked with curiosity in her voice.

»Claire cooked for me, can you believe it? And as far as I know, she learned it from you.«

Morgan started laughing.

»What did she cook?«

»Chicken in cream sauce with peas and couscous.«

»That little fox. I knew something was up. She was all over me when I cooked us dinner last time she came over to my place. I asked her if she wants to learn how to cook and she denied it,« Morgan said laughing.

»Well, she really surprised me yesterday. She actually did an amazing job. I mean, not that I doubted her but we both know what disasters had already occurred when she took over the kitchen in the past,« Neil said with a smile on his face.

»Well, I am happy for you. This really is a miracle,« Morgan said playfully.

»You should invite her more often to your place and please cook different dishes every time she's there so that I will be able to enjoy a varied menu,« Neil said to Morgan pretending he is dead serious.

»You've got it, boss,« Morgan answered with a smile on her face and left his office.

Claire was in the emergency room for an hour with dr. Lim because surgeons were needed for a consultation on a case. Claire liked working with dr. Lim but at the same time, she was always a little tense next to her. This tension has disappeared somewhat in the past, but it crept back again immediately after the meeting regarding Jared's operation when dr. Lim made a remark about her and Neil. Claire still didn't know what was to blame so that dr. Lim made that remark and she decided that she won't stress about it. Even though Claire felt uncomfortable because she felt like dr. Lim is watching her every move she knew that that was her job. After all, her residency was slowly coming to an end, and it was probably because of that that she received so much attention from the Chief of Surgery.

»Good idea about this new procedure,« dr. Lim suddenly said when they were taking off their gloves.

Claire looked at her with a little smile on her face.

»Thank you.«

»You're ready for Jared's surgery?«

»Yes, I am. I am going to check him now and prepare him.«

»Good. I will stop in the gallery during the surgery to see how everything is going.«

Claire nodded awkwardly, turned around, and as she was about to leave the emergency room, dr. Lim stopped her.

»Dr. Browne, are you ok?«

»Yes. Why?«

»You seem tense around me.«

»No, I'm not,« Claire tried to deny it.

»Listen. I have a feeling this tension came after I made that remark about you and Neil. It was unprofessional of me, I know. That day was not a good day for me and I took it out on you. I won't talk about the reasons I had a bad they because they are personal but I can assure you it has nothing to do with you or Neil. I know it wasn’t right, but now I can only say I’m sorry and I hope that this tension on your part will go away. We had a really good work atmosphere before I made that mistake.«

Claire looked at her and she did feel calmer.

»Yes, we did. Thank you for saying this. I guess I was a little bit thrown by what you said. I was thinking that I made some kind of mistake and that is why you said what you said.«

»No, you didn't make any mistake. Don't worry.«

»Ok. Well, I have to go. Excuse me,« Claire said knowing that she is quite late already with preparing Jared for surgery.

»Sure. Tell Melendez to break a leg,« dr. Lim said and in that way wished them good surgery.

Claire smiled at her words with a sincere and relaxed smile before she left the emergency room.

»Good morning,« Claire said to Jared when she entered the room.

»Good morning. I thought you all forgot about me,« he said with a smile on his face.

»No, we didn't. It's just … this week is crazy. The emergency room is understaffed, we have new residents … I could go on and on,« Claire said stepping closer to his bed.

»How is the pain?«

»Bearable. You know, I'm nervous about the surgery. Stupid, right?«

»It's not stupid. It's different when you are a patient and not the one doing the surgery. But you have nothing to worry about. You are in good hands.«

»Yes, I know,« Jared said.

As Claire was doing the last physical examination of Jared's injury before surgery, Jared observed her watching her every move.

»I am really glad you're happy,« he suddenly whispered and Claire looked up at him.

»Thank you,« she said feeling relaxed thinking that she is glad that the arguing was behind them.

»Is he good to you? Does he treat you right? Does he put you first?« Jared asked her and she could see it in his eyes that his questions were sincere.

»He is good to me. I think that he couldn't treat me better or love me more than he does already,« Claire whispered.

»Good. You deserve it and you shouldn't settle for less,« Jared said and Claire nodded.

»I'm really sorry that I was such an idiot to you. I'm sorry for all the things I said to you. I was a jealous jerk. I don't want you to hate me.«

»Hate is a strong word. I could never hate anyone. Don't worry about it. I'm just glad that we are on good terms now.«

»Me too.«

»So, you're ready that we fix you?«

»Yes, please.«

»Ok, let's go. The rest of the surgical team is already waiting for us.«

While Neil, Claire, and Morgan performed the surgery, Henry watched from the gallery. It didn't take long for dr. Lim to join him. There was a calm, focused atmosphere in the surgery room and everything was going as it should. It was no secret to anyone at the hospital that the three surgeons performing the surgery were a good team. Neil was one of the best surgeons and he had two of his best residents by his side. It was almost certain that nothing could go wrong with this surgery. But like the proverb says … you should never praise the day before sunset because when you at least expect it, something goes wrong.

»Dr. Reznick!« Neil shouted with a deep voice and then looked at Claire that also had a shocked and confused expression in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like the chapter? What is your favourite part? What did you like most about Neil and Claire in this chapter? What do you think of officer Wesley and his annoyance with people not doing their job right? Did you like the part of the chapter with two police officers? Please tell me in the comment section. 😊
> 
> Thank you again for reading! You are the best! ❤️


	14. You were flirting with me back then already

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What did Morgan do during Jared's surgery? Will there be consequences? No matter what she did she will have to face her fears whether she likes it or not. Who will be there to help her? Find out in the new chapter of Grateful for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> We reached 3000+ hits on this story of mine! THANK YOU SO MUCH! You are THE BEST! 💖 Because you are such an amazing group of people, always leaving kudos, subscribing to my work, leaving comments that give me the motivation to write more, I wrote the longest chapter until now! Twenty-five pages! I hope you don't mind. 😉😀
> 
> The whole chapter is again happening at the present time. Like in the previous chapter I separated the parts with stars sometimes just to make it more clear when the perspective/storyline changes.
> 
> Chapter 14 is full of dialogs between different characters. This chapter is very important for Morgan and her wellbeing so a lot of it is about her but always in connection with other characters, so from this point of view I think that you will find this chapter interesting. I also think it highlights certain issues of some of the characters and I think those issues give good options for continuing my story. I am again in love with all of the Melendaire moments in this chapter. I hope you will like them too! 😍
> 
> Once again, sorry for any mistakes you might find in the text. I try my best with my English language.
> 
> Enjoy reading the new chapter and please leave a comment. It means the world if you do. 😊
> 
> Sarah

There was silence in the operating room and everything was calm. The only thing that broke the silence were the sounds of surgical instruments and Neil’s words that guided his two residents and reminded them every now and then of certain things that were important for when they are going to lead a surgery like this by themselves. He also checked their knowledge during the operation, as he asked them every now and then how they would continue if they were lead surgeons. Claire enjoyed every minute of spending time with Neil in the operating room. Every time, when she had the opportunity to work with him, she realized how much she missed his presence when she was working with dr. Lim or dr. Andrews. She thought about how much he had taught her. At the beginning of her residency, he was an arrogant surgeon, her boss that she often thought about as someone that makes her life more difficult. But it didn't matter to her if he was arrogant and full of himself back then, she learned how to handle him, she got used to his arrogance. She actually found herself trying to impress him. She felt like she needed to prove herself to him and she wanted to hear him praise her work. The day he called one of her surgical ideas brilliant she couldn't hold back her excitement. It was just six months into her residency and she got that praise of him that she wanted so much. While looking at him operating she admired the confidence with which he operated. She was in awe of him. Because of the confidence, he radiated the operation looked easy, effortless but Claire knew very well that is not the case. Behind this effortless image, a tremendous amount of knowledge and talent was hidden. Claire felt calm and satisfied at the moment but that was not the case with Morgan. Her thoughts were slipping away, she wanted to focus on the work in front of her, which worked quite well for her when she heard the voice of her boss, but with every minute she was in the operating room, her well-being deteriorated. She had a feeling that the room was too hot and she felt drops of sweat on her forehead. She could not breathe normally, as if there was not enough air in the room. Maybe she's having a panic attack, she thought. She kept thinking about the call she had received from Detective Marco the day before. When Marco confirmed that she had been attacked by a serial killer based on the evidence she provided, she became even more frightened. What if her attacker was in the hospital right now? How should she even know that the police will be able to protect her with one hundred percent certainty? She began to feel dizzy and tried to calm down, but she was failing at it. Her well-being was getting worse and worse.

»I need a better view. Dr. Reznick, retractor please,« Neil said calmly.

Morgan was standing opposite Neil as his first surgical assistant but didn't move. After a few seconds, when nothing happened, Neil looked up from Jared's knee at Morgan.

»Dr. Reznick, retractor,« he said one more time and he could see that Morgan's eyes were wandering around the room in confusion.

»Morgan, are you ok?« Claire quietly asked and Morgan finally looked at her when she heard her name.

»What?«

»Dr. Reznick, focus,« Neil said seriously with a bit of sharpness in his voice because he knew they were not alone in the operating room and that dr. Lim watches everything from the gallery.

Morgan looked at him and despite the mask on his face, she could see not only sternness but also a concern in his eyes.

»I … I can't breathe … I need to …«

Morgan didn't finish the sentence and suddenly she stepped away from the operating table and ran toward the exit of the operating room.

»Dr. Reznick!« Neil shouted with a deep voice and then looked at Claire that also had a shocked, confused, and worried expression in her eyes.

For a few seconds, there was complete silence in the room. The whole surgical team just exchanged glances in confusion and Neil looked up toward the gallery where Audrey stood motionless and he could not make out anything from her face. He cursed in his mind, knowing that he will have to talk with Audrey about what had just happened. She will want to know what was the reason for Morgana's behavior. A surgeon leaving the operating room in the middle of the surgery was an act that will not be overlooked. But Neil wasn’t just worried because of Audrey, he was more worried about his resident. What Morgan did was completely out of her character. Things had to be very serious that she did what she did. Suddenly, however, he also became angry. What the hell did she think leaving in the middle of surgery like that?

»I should go after her,« Neil suddenly heard Claire whisper and looked at her with disapproval.

»Don't even think about it. We will deal with her later. I don't need another surgeon to walk out of my operating room,« he whispered back with determination trying to achieve that Audrey wouldn't hear what the conversation between them was.

Claire looked away from him and thought about the fact that Neil wasn't just worried. By the way he talked to her she knew he was also angry and she hadn't seen him angry in a long time.

»Browne, take Reznick's place. Dr. White, scrub in,« Neil said louder and looked at the gallery.

»Yes Sir,« Henry immediately answered and left the gallery to join Claire and his boss.

They finished the operation in the next half an hour and Neil noticed that Audrey stayed until the end.

»And we're done,« Neil said relieved that despite everything the surgery went well and that was the most important thing for him.

Audrey left the gallery immediately after the surgery, as did the other members of the surgical team. Claire was waiting so that she and Neil were left alone.

»What the hell was that? Do you know what is going on with her?« Neil asked and Claire was surprised at his sharp tone.

»I'm not sure. Most likely it is related to the attack.«

»She didn't say anything about having problems with coping with what happened to her?«

»No, I thought that she is good. She looked completely fine this morning.«

»Well, obviously she is not ok,« Neil snapped at her.

»Why are you screaming at me right now?« Claire said carefully with a calming voice.

Neil looked at her, took a deep breath, and leaned with his hand against the sink pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

»Sorry. I'm just upset about what happened. This is a huge mistake she did. And as if that wasn’t enough, Audrey was present. Now Morgan will have to talk to her too, not just me.«

»Just go easy on her. I'm sure she has a good reas…«

»Easy on her? A good reason?« Neil finished the sentence for her and Claire again felt that he was tensing up.

»In this situation, I am not Morgan's friend Claire. I am her boss.«

»Just keep in mind what happened to her when you talk with her, that's all I'm asking from you,« Claire said quietly knowing deep down inside her that Neil had the right to be angry with Morgan no matter what personal problem she has.

A surgeon should never walk out of the operating room like that. Period.

When Neil stepped into the hallway Audrey was already waiting for him.

»What was that?« she asked.

»I am not sure,« Neil answered.

»Send Morgan to my office,« Audrey said to him and already turned away from him to leave.

»Let me talk to her first,« Neil suddenly said.

»Why? This is something I have to deal with. She stormed out of the operating room in the middle of the surgery. That is a big mistake on her part.«

»I'm her boss, her attending.«

»And I am The Chief of Surgery.«

At the moment when Audrey said those words to Neil, Claire came to the hallway as well and immediately saw that Neil is again struggling when it came to Audrey being the Chief of Surgery. She could see that by his posture and by the expression on his face. She remembered their conversation when he admitted to her that he regrets his decision of giving up the position that should be his from the get-go.

»Audrey … just let me talk to her first. I will send her to you as soon as I am done talking to her.«

Audrey sighed and thought for a moment.

»Fine, you talk to dr. Reznick first and meanwhile I will talk with dr. Browne,« she suddenly said and looked at Claire that was standing behind her.

»Why do you need to talk to Claire?« Neil suddenly asked.

»Do I really need to explain to you why I need to talk to her? Again, it's not your business.«

»What happened isn't her responsibility and she doesn't have to deal with it. We have to.«

Claire didn't know what to think about the situation. She had a feeling that at this moment Neil again has problems with Audrey's authority, and the only thing that she did know is that Audrey wasn't pleased with how Neil talked to her.

»She is the Chief Resident, isn't she?« Audrey asked with a serious expression on her face and Neil went silent.

Neil looked at Claire that was standing behind Audrey and he saw that she slightly smiled at him. She always did that when she tried to calm him down but couldn't use her words to do it.

»Yes, she is,« Neil answered Audrey's question.

»Right. And Chief Resident is responsible for other residents to some extent. I want to talk to dr. Browne because maybe she can give me some insight on what is going on.«

Audrey turned around to leave the hallway and Claire followed her. Before the sliding doors from the hallway completely closed Claire looked at Neil wishing that she could stay with him. She felt that he needed her, she knew that he again feels powerless next to Audrey and she didn't like the feeling of leaving him alone in the middle of an empty hallway but at that moment she didn't have another option but to go with Audrey.

»Please Claire, sit,« Audrey said and Claire sat down across her.

»What is up with him lately?«

»Excuse me?« Claire asked confused.

»Neil. He's all authoritative when he's around me, stubborn more than usual, full of himself, again, more than usual.«

»Well, authoritative, stubborn, full of himself. It sounds like a classic Neil Melendez to me,« Claire said with a small smile on her face trying to make the situation less serious.

»For about two months now there is not a meeting where we wouldn't fight about something,« Audrey said.

»You know how he is. He just wants to be right,« Claire simply said and saw how Audrey smiled at her words.

»You won't help me with it, right?«

»With what?«

»There is something going on with him. I know him. He is different. He practically seems annoyed with me.«

»I wouldn't know,« Claire said.

»I think you do but you don't want to tell me.«

»We don't talk much about work outside of work you know. We try to separate our personal and professional lives as much as possible. Moreover, you know he isn't big on sharing if something is bothering him.«

»It's ok. I get it. I know I can't expect from you to tell me things about him. If he did tell you it means he trusts you and I know you would never betray his trust. I will try to figure out what is up with him on my own.«

Claire stayed silent and just slightly smiled at her.

»So, about dr. Reznick. Do you know what was the reason that she left the OR?«

Claire sighed deeply and didn't exactly know what to answer. She didn't want to tell anything about Morgan because she knew Morgan would be angry if she told others about her personal things.

»I know that she is struggling with something. Sadly, I didn't know that it is so bad. I know what is the reason for her struggles but honestly, I don't want to be the one telling you about it. It is her personal thing and I think she should be the one to tell you if she decides to do so.«

Audrey nodded and again smiled.

»You are a trustworthy person, a good friend. I see that all of the secrets are safe with you.«

»I'm not sure if I am such a good friend. I should have noticed that she is struggling more than she showed,« Claire said worried about Morgan.

»I will talk to her and she will have to talk to me. She doesn't have another choice now. It's important that we know what is going on so that we can provide her help if she needs it.«

»Will there be some consequences for her?« Claire asked.

»Depends on how my conversation with her will go and if she is willing to cooperate in solving her problem whatever it is. I'm not angry at her, I'm worried. I want that surgeons in my surgical department feel good, that they know they can ask for help if they need it. If surgeons are happy, patients are happy, and then the hospital functions as it should,« Audrey said and Claire nodded in agreement.

»By the way, how is your first week going as Chief Resident?«

»Good. I didn't really know there is so much administrative work with being a Chief Resident but I like it. I am also quite impressed with new residents. They are talented.«

»You are right about that. But honestly, I think that dr. White really stands out,« Audrey said that saw with her own eyes how he works in the operating room.

»Yes, he has a lot of knowledge and he is dedicated to the job which is important. I think that under dr. Melendez's service he will become an amazing surgeon.«

»God Claire, dr. Melendez? You can say Neil. Sometimes I have a feeling that you always, no matter the situation, call him or refer to him by his formal title.«

»I feel more comfortable this way in the hospital. He is still my boss.«

»How is it between you two? When it comes to your work relationship of course. Is everything ok?«

»Yes, it is. I just wish I could work more with him but I understand why I also need to work with other surgeons.«

»You know, you work with him quite a lot. Some hospitals wouldn't allow him as your boss at all due to your personal relationship with him. I must say that I was also concerned about it at first but you two proved me wrong. I think you two are a great team. It would be a waste of good dynamics in the operating room if I didn't let you two work together sometimes.«

»Thank you. It means a lot to me that you told me this,« Claire said and Audrey smiled at her with a warm smile.

»Well, that's it Claire. You can go and I will try to figure out what Morgan's problem is.«

***

After Claire left with Audrey, Neil went to look for Morgan. He found her in the on-call room.

»Morgan, can you come to my office when you feel ready?« he asked her with a calm voice and he saw how she tried to wipe away her tears.

»Yes, of course. I will join you in a minute,« she answered turning away from him even though she knew he already saw that she was a crying mess.

»Take your time,« Neil said not really being able to be angry with her anymore after seeing her like this.

Neil was looking at his computer when she opened the door to his office.

»May I come in?«

»Yes, of course. Come, sit.«

Morgan closed the door, went toward his desk, and sat down in front of him. Neil closed the computer, leaned back in his chair, and looked at her.

»You're mad at me, aren't you?« she whispered looking down at her hands that were resting in her lap not being able to look her boss in the eyes.

»I was. I still am a little bit but I am mostly worried,« Neil answered her, stood up, and went around the table to sit next to her.

»Talk to me. What happened in the operating room?«

»I don't know. I couldn't control myself. It was weird. I was feeling fine this morning but in the operating room … it was like a panic attack or something.«

»Do you still think about the attack? Do you have nightmares?«

»Yes, I do have them. How did you know?«

»You look tired, like if you haven't slept. You know, I had nightmares after the earthquake. Quite severe ones actually. Didn't sleep well for weeks.«

»Did they stop?«

»Yes. I mean they became rearer. Sometimes they still surprise me. But I guess I am handling them.«

»What did you do about it? How did you make them stop?«

»I … I just talked about it with Claire a lot. I didn't want to at the beginning but she was very stubborn. She made me talk about it every time. I didn't like it but in the end, it helped.«

»You are just saying this so that I would trust you and talk to you,« Morgan whispered.

»I thought that you already trust me since I feel like I can trust you,« Neil said and Morgan looked at him.

His words touched her deeply. She always wished that he and Claire would be able to trust her again despite everything she did in the past.

»I do trust you, I just …«

»You will have to talk to me and you will also have to talk to Audrey. It is inevitable. We can't just ignore what happened because you don't want to talk about it. Are you so traumatized because of the attack?«

»It's not just the attack,« Morgan whispered and Neil remained silent giving her the time to speak when she is ready.

»Yesterday evening I got a call from Marco, the lead detective on the case. The forensic's lab confirmed that the DNA from my clothes matches the serial killer they've been hunting for years,« Morgan finally fold him and she felt like she immediately started to feel better.

»Jesus …« Neil whispered.

»He's still out there somewhere. I just can't shake this feeling that this isn't over yet and it scares me.«

»What did the detective say? What is their plan?«

»I'm going to the police station today after work. I have a meeting with a sketch artist so that they will have some kind of picture of him.«

»They don't know who he is?«

»As far as I understand, no. This is why it is so hard for them to catch him. Maria and I were the only ones that well … survived him, saw him. What if he comes after me again?«

»But wait … you saw him and the police aren't doing anything to protect you? How's that possible?« Neil asked appalled and disapproving.

Morgan felt silent.

»There is more to this story, isn't it?«

»I have a protection detail watching out for me,« Morgan admitted but kept to herself that there are also officers that watch out for him and Claire.

Neil looked at her and wished he could help her, but in this situation, he was completely powerless. Morgan was most likely in danger and no one could have predicted how long it would take for police to catch the man that was a threat to her.

»Why didn't you tell us this? Why didn't you call yesterday after you talked to the detective?«

»I don't want to worry Claire or you. It's just … maybe I deserve all of this.«

»What?« Neil asked surprised.

»I deserve it for the way I acted in the past. Maybe God is punishing me.«

»Morgan, don't be stupid. You are acting like that patient of ours, the priest, that thought that he killed someone just because that person talked with him and then committed suicide and that God is punishing him with the pain for that. Please, this isn't punishment. Everything that happened to you is just a very bad coincidence. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time, that's it.«

»Will you tell Claire what I have just told you?« Morgan asked him and he saw that she is hoping that he will keep everything to himself.

»Do you really think that Claire won't pressure you into telling her everything after what happened today? Believe me, I won't have to tell her because she is on a mission now. She will corner you and make you tell her everything.«

Morgan sighed and a small smile appeared on her face. Neil was right.

»About what happened earlier in the OR. I'm sorry, it was unprofessional.«

»Yes, it was.«

»Did you talk with dr. Lim already?« Morgan asked with a lump in her throat.

»No. She just ordered me to sent you to her when we are done talking.«

»I screwed up. I know there will be consequences.«

»Maybe, I don't know what she will do. But I know for sure that she will want to know the reason.«

»I don't want to tell her everything,« Morgan whispered.

»Then just tell her about the attack and don't go into details with her,« Neil suggested and Morgan nodded.

»Yes, that is for the best. I just … I don't want everybody to know that I am a target for a serial killer. People around me are already not my biggest fans, imagine if they knew that a serial killer is after me,« Morgan said and laughed at her words but the next moment she was crying again.

Neil placed his hand on Morgan's back to console her. He pulled a handkerchief from the inside pocket of his suit jacket and handed it to her.

She took it and looked at him surprised.

»Really? You have a cloth handkerchief?« Morgan asked amazed.

»What can I say? I'm old school,« Neil said with a smile on his face while he shrugged his shoulders.

Neil waited that Morgan calmed down again.

»Morgan, you have to talk with someone about what you are going through. And I mean really talk about it. How it makes you feel. I can imagine you are scared but you will feel better if you will have people by your side. You don't have to be in this alone. You can talk to me if you are comfortable, Claire, a therapist … maybe Henry.«

»Henry? Why would I talk with Henry?«

»He seems to care about you, to be interested in you.«

»He is not interested in me,« Morgan said sternly looking at Neil and shook her head.

Neil smiled and raised an eyebrow at her.

»Ok, believe me, he is interested. It's really not difficult to notice that.«

»He's nice to me, that is true. He was worried about me when he saw the injury on my head, he took me to the police station yesterday without even asking anything about it. I can't drag him into this. I mean, we barely know each other for Christ's sake,« Morgan said and suddenly realized she is talking about Henry with her boss.

This is definitely not a conversation that she thought she will have with Neil after what happened in the operating room earlier.

»Well, then get to know him. It can't hurt you if you give a chance to the guy. Maybe he will be good for you.«

Morgan looked at Neil again.

»Did you just gave me relationship advice right now?« she asked with a smile on her face.

Neil smiled and rolled his eyes.

»You know he asked me out. We are supposed to go for a drink today but I just want to cancel it after everything that happened today,« she admitted.

»Don't. Go on that drink,« Neil said encouraging her.

»He will definitely start asking questions.«

»Yes, he probably will. That's normal you know. He wants to get to know you, and we all have good and bad parts of ourselves and our lives.«

»What if he gets scared off because of everything that is going on with me?«

»Then you are better off without him and you will find someone that will stay and be there for you even when things are hard.«

»Like you and Claire are there for each other?«

»Yeah, pretty much,« Neil said with a smile on his face.

Morgan sighed deeply. For the first time this week, she had a feeling she was breathing easier. During the time she was talking to Neil, she relaxed and forgot for a moment all the bad things that were happening to her.

»Thank you for this. I appreciate it. I guess talking really does help,« Morgan admitted.

»You are not alone in this. You have people around you that care about you. Now tell me, will you talk with Claire?« Neil asked trying to make sure that Morgan will confide to her best friend.

»Yes, I will.«

»And you will go on that drink today with White, right?« Neil said with a smile on his face.

»I will see if…«

»Morgan,« Neil said with a warning tone and tilted his head starring at her letting her know that he doesn't like her elusive answer to his question.

»Fine! I will go on a drink with him. But please keep it to yourself for now because if Claire finds out I won't stop hearing about it,« she said and rolled her eyes.

»Ok. You got it,« Neil said, stood up, and went behind his desk.

»Now, about what happened earlier. Morgan, it can never happen again, you understand?« he said seriously and Morgan immediately saw that a light conversation with a friend turned into a conversation with a boss.

»Yes, I understand.«

»I really need you at your best. Now more than ever. You are almost at the finish line with your residency. Don't let things that are happening to you right now affect everything you have been building for so long. I need you focused. There is no room for any more mistakes at this point.«

»It won't happen again.«

»Good. Let me know how the conversation with Audrey will go.«

»I will. Thank you. For everything. I have a feeling that I already feel better.«

»That's good. I'm glad.«

Morgan left his office feeling calmer. Now she was just hoping that the consequences of her action won't be too severe.

***

After the conversation with Morgan Neil went toward Jared's room. He saw Henry standing on the other side of the corridor talking to another first-year resident. From Henry's body posture and the way he spoke, Neil could tell that the conversation was not friendly or relaxed. He was curious about what they were fighting about. It looked like they know each other from before they started working here. He noticed that Henry was trying to speak quietly so that people that were passing them could not hear what was going on. Neil tried to remember the name of the female resident that was talking to Henry but couldn't. He just knew that he saw her at the meeting on Monday. Neil turned toward the nurse's station.

»Did Jared Kalu woke up already?« he asked the nurse.

»Five minutes ago. I was just about to page you.«

»Ok, thank you,« Neil said to the nurse and again looked down the hall.

»Dr. White!« he said louder and Henry immediately looked toward him.

»Stop talking. We have work to do,« Neil said and had a feeling that Henry was glad he called him.

Neil noticed that he didn't even say goodbye to the resident he was talking to. He was curious about what was going on, but he also knew he wouldn’t get involved. The personal problems of his residents were not his concern. Moreover, he was already personally involved with Claire as his girlfriend and Morgan as his friend, and even if they made it work he didn't want to go down the same road with other residents. But then he remembered that Henry was interested in Morgan, and suddenly he became worried about what he saw because Morgan didn't need another problem on her plate. He decided that he will ask Claire about this female resident.

»Did you pick up those lab results for me as I asked you?« Neil asked Henry when they were on their way to Jared's room.

»Yes, I did. For now, everything still looks the same. Here,« Henry said and gave the folder to Neil that took it.

»This is good. Really good,« Neil said satisfied thinking about the pregnant patient that he will operate on on Monday.

Like the nurse said Jared was awake when they entered his room.

»How are you feeling?« Neil asked and stepped toward his bed.

»Good. Sleepy but that is from the meds.«

»How is the pain?« Henry asked.

»Doesn't hurt, yet …« Jared answered.

»How did the surgery go?« he asked looking at Neil.

»It went very well. You will need a lot of physical therapy but my work here is done. We will talk about physical therapy tomorrow. Now you just need to rest.«

»Lucky me,« Jared said with a bored voice.

»If you are going to be in pain tell us and we will give you painkillers, otherwise I think that it should be a calm night for you,« Neil said and Jared nodded at him.

***

That Morgan was extremely nervous about talking to dr. Lim would be an understatement. Before knocking on the office door from the Chief of Surgery, she stood in front of them for a few seconds and sighed deeply before knocking.

»Come in,« she heard and entered.

»Dr. Lim.«

»Dr. Reznick, please sit down,« dr. Lim said with a reassuring smile on her face and Morgan thought about the fact that everybody treats her with patience and care like she was a bird with broken wings.

»Dr. Reznick, I must say that I am quite surprised at what happened today.«

»Honestly, me too.«

»What happened? What triggered your distress?« dr. Lim asked and Morgan got tense at her question.

She again took a deep breath and took a few seconds to gather her thoughts before she spoke. She told dr. Lim about the attack that happened to her but kept to herself all other details concerning the man that attacked her. Morgan hoped that not telling everything won't come back like a boomerang and bite her in the ass in the future but she didn't want to tell everything. The last thing that she needed is that everybody that works with her worry about the fact that she is in danger. She could see that dr. Lim was listening to her words carefully and saw the worry in her eyes.

»Is the injury on your head from that night?«

»Yes.«

»Did you report it to the police?«

»Yes, the next day.«

»That's good.«

»Dr. Lim, I'm sorry. I really really am sorry. I know my action is unacceptable for a surgeon, especially for a surgical resident that is being evaluated on daily basis. If I could turn back time I wouldn't…«

»It wouldn't be any different Morgan. You had a panic attack, you would act the same because you don't have control over it.«

»I just don't want that this affects my residency here. I worked so hard and still do to achieve everything I want. I don't want you to punish me now with scout work or something just because you think I'm incapable of being in the operating room. I know it's hard to believe but I will work this out and I will get better. After what happened today I know I need help and I am ready to ask for it.«

»Dr. Reznick, I am very glad to hear this. I won't punish you with scout work, ok? Don't worry.«

Morgan nodded but still wasn't calm because she knew that there is no way that dr. Lim won't punish her in some way.

»I want you to make appointments with a therapist in this hospital for the next two weeks.«

»A therapist?« Morgan asked not liking the idea.

»Yes, a therapist.«

»I, I just wanted to talk with Claire about it. She's a friend and I feel more comfortable with her.«

»I understand and I support that decision. You should talk to her if that is what you find safe and comfortable but visiting a therapist is not up for debate. You have to do it,« dr. Lim said with a voice that didn't allow objection and Morgan nodded in defeat.

»As far as I know, dr. Browne is still visiting a therapist too now and then. There is no shame in it.«

»I know,« Morgan whispered.

»Also, for the next two weeks you won't lead any surgeries but you can assist them as a first or second surgical assistant. But, if at any point during the surgery you feel like another panic attack is gonna take over you, you have to immediately tell the lead surgeon, you understand?«

»Yes,« Morgan nodded.

She felt happy that dr. Lim didn't take her off the surgeries completely. Her biggest fear was that she would be banned from working in the operating room for God knows how long. She can live with two weeks of not being a lead surgeon. In this time she will try to deal with her fear and try to learn how to control it because she knows for sure that fear definitely won't go away until the serial killer is not behind bars.

»I want you to give your schedule with your therapy appointments to dr. Browne tomorrow when she has office hours. She will also be in charge of checking your presence at the therapy appointments.«

»Such a prestigious assignment for a Chief Resident,« Morgan said jokingly and smiled.

»Well, I must say that I am glad Claire has this assignment. Since she is also your friend that worries about you I know she will take it seriously and she won't let that your problems fall through the cracks.«

»She definitely won't let that happen. I will probably have the whole therapy sessions with her too,« Morgan said, and dr. Lim smiled at her remark.

»I am sorry that this happened to you. No woman should go through an experience like this,« Lim said and Morgan sighed.

»Yeah, but well, I guess I can call myself lucky. I got away. Most women aren't that fortunate,« Morgan said.

»I hope you feel better soon. If you need anything don't hesitate to talk to me, ok?« dr. Lim said with a calming voice.

»Of course. Thank you. I won't let you down again.«

»You didn't let me down. Things happen, people have problems. That doesn't mean you are any less of a surgeon. But the fact is that you need to deal with your problems so that they don't affect your work.«

»Yes, I know.«

»I want you to go home now.«

»But my shift isn't over yet.«

»Doesn't matter. Go home and rest or do something that makes you feel good. Tomorrow is another day and your patients won't go anywhere. I already asked dr. Browne to check on your patients today.«

»Ok, thank you,« Morgan said, and dr. Lim nodded which Morgan took as a sign that she can leave.

***

While Neil was driving home he carefully listened to what Claire was saying while she talked with Morgan over the phone.

»Morgan, I want to talk to you. I thought that we will have a chance to talk after the shift but then Lim sent you home and…«

There was silence in the car while Claire listened to what Morgan was telling her. When Claire again started to argue with her Neil took her hand to get her attention and shook his head trying to tell her that she shouldn't push Morgan.

»Fine, fine, I give up. We will talk tomorrow. And just so that you won't avoid me I am making it official. Tomorrow at 8 AM during my office hours,« Claire said with a bossy tone but Morgan knew that she said it with a smile on her face.

»Ok Chief. I'll be there and I will bring coffee,« Morgan said rolling her eyes but feeling happy that she had a friend that worried about her and was trying to help her.

»She is stalling with the conversation,« Claire said to Neil when she hung up the phone.

»She will talk to you, she said to me that she will. Don't worry.«

»She said that she has something today that will distract her from her problems,« Claire said confused and curious.

»Well, whatever it is, I hope it helps,« Neil said and smiled to himself knowing that Morgan has a date with Henry.

Neil and Claire spent a quiet afternoon at home catching up on some paperwork. They didn't talk much. Neil was also strangely quiet while he was cooking and then while they were eating their dinner. While Claire was eating the delicious meal that he prepared for them, she looked across the table at him from time to time and had a feeling Neil was avoiding her gaze. After dinner, Claire was cleaning the kitchen and Neil was sitting on a couch. His head was resting at the backrest and he had his eyes closed. Claire slowly made her way to his favorite corner of the apartment and poured a sip of his favorite whiskey into his glass. She walked toward him, snuck up behind him, wrapped her arm around his firm chest, and held the whiskey in front of him.

»What's this?« he whispered.

»You look like you need it,« she said back and left a kiss on his neck.

Neil took the glass from her hands and drank the whiskey she had brought him in one sip. Claire walked slowly to the other side of the couch and sat down next to him.

»You want to talk about what is bothering you?« she asked and rested her palm on his knee.

»I'm sorry I acted like an idiot in front of Audrey.«

»What? Why are you saying sorry to me?«

»I just … I don't know … When she said that she wants to talk to you I just…«

»… switched into protective boyfriend mode?« Claire finished his sentence.

»Yeah, I don't know why. I know you can handle everything and everyone. You don't need me to fight your battles. It's just … she attacked you last time with that remark and I was just afraid that she would do it again. It was stupid of me to act like that.«

»Forget about that remark. Sometimes things just get out of control and people say what they later regret. We had a normal respectful conversation today. Everything was fine. But she is noticing that you are well … irritated next to her.«

»Yes, I am not being subtle about it.«

»Yeah.«

»I've got an impression today that she will try to figure out what is it that bothers you,« Claire said and Neil nodded.

»Well, I will deal with it.«

»Will you tell her the truth?«

»I don't know.«

»Maybe it would be for the best if you do.«

»I don't want that she feels bad about it. It was my choice to give up the position. She didn't ask me to do it. It wouldn't be fair that I hold it against her, put this on her when I was the one stupid enough to make that decision.«

»And here you are again, taking care of everyone except you,« Claire said disapprovingly but also knowing that she would probably think the same if she was in his position.

»It would be selfish of me if I tell her this.«

»Well, you will cross this bridge when you come to it. Just do whatever feels right at that moment when you will talk to her,« Claire said encouraging and gently caressed his temple with her fingers.

»Yes,« he said, took her hand in his, and kissed her knuckles.

»You know, no matter how crazy today was and what happened with Morgan I am so happy that we were able to work together. I miss working with you,« Claire said changing the subject hoping that she will lift his mood.

»I miss working with you too,« he said and smiled at her.

»Of course you do. You miss my brilliant ideas. Do you remember?«

»Remember what?«

»My brilliant idea.«

»You had a lot of brilliant ideas over the years,« Neil said and Claire looked at him with a big smile.

»Six months into my residency. The guy almost lost his leg but we made a new femur out of titanium.«

»That was truly a brilliant idea. But I also noticed something else that day.«

»What?«

»You were flirting with me back then already.«

»What?! I didn't!« Claire denied.

»You said that I am the only one that can do the brilliant surgery.«

»That wasn't flirting.«

»Yes it was. You were fluttering with your eyelashes at me like you wanted to bewitch me into doing the surgery.«

»No, I didn't. Did I?« Claire said laughing.

»Wait. You noticed me fluttering my eyelashes at you?« she asked surprised.

»I notice everything,« he said confidently.

There was a short moment of silence between them while they both remembered that moment in front of the elevator.

»I remember when I said to you that you are special. God, when I left that hallway after I said that to you I was worried that I crossed the line,« Neil said and smiled at the memory.

»God, if only you knew how proud I was of myself after you said that to me. I couldn't believe that Neil Melendez called me special. I was thinking about it the whole evening. I was dreaming about it that night.«

»About the praise that I gave you or about me?« Neil teased her.

»The praise of course. Don't get all cocky now. It wasn't like that back then.«

»But c'mon, you surely thought at some point at the beginning of your residency, that I'm attractive.«

Claire looked at him and she could see that he was truly curious. She couldn't help but smile at his beautiful curious face.

»God, you are not just an arrogant person, you are a confident arrogant person.«

»Just admit it.«

»Admit what?« Claire pretended to not know what he was referring to.

»You found me attractive long before we became closer.«

Claire looked away from him suddenly feeling shy. She didn't want to admit that she thought about him like that sometimes back then. It somehow felt weird for her.

»C'mooon, don't be shy with me now,« he said laughing at her and hugged her around her shoulders pulling her closer.

»Stop teasing me! You can't blame a girl for thinking you are attractive. I mean, look at you! And then add the badass surgical skills and well … a girl is hooked for good,« she said and Neil laughed out loud.

»I knew it,« he said confidently, satisfied with her answer.

»Are you satisfied now?« Claire asked him.

»Very much.«

»Ok, because I decided that I'm done with boosting your confidence. You have it way too much already,« Claire said jokingly and tried to get off of the couch but she felt how he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to his lap.

»Come here,« Neil said with a boyish smile on his face, cupped her face and brought it closer to his so he could kiss her divine, irresistible lips.

»Neil, I need to go shower. It's been a long day and I am still in my scrubs.«

»I can help you with that,« he whispered into her neck and Claire smiled.

»Really? How?«

»With getting you naked,« Neil said and took off the top of her uniform.

He leaned back on the backrest of the couch and looked at her. She was wearing a white lace bra that stood out in contrast to her skin.

"God, it's good that no one else knows what kind of underwear you're wearing under your uniform,« Neil said with approval in his voice.

»Well, this is just for your eyes babe,« Claire said to him and saw his satisfied smile.

»You know what I am also one hundred percent sure of?«

»Of what?« Claire asked with curiosity.

»That back then, when you already thought that I was attractive, you also thought of me doing this,« Neil whispered and his fingers slowly started to pull off one of the straps of her bra from her shoulder.

Claire looked at him, and suddenly pulled the strap of her bra back on her shoulder trying to look serious. She got up from his lap.

»Where are you going?«

»I'm done with you teasing me,« she said failing at trying to be serious and Neil couldn't help but laugh at seeing how his remarks actually made her uncomfortable and embarrassed.

For a moment he felt even guilty for teasing her once more but he knew that Claire knows he is just messing with her.

»But babe, things are just getting good right now,« Neil said and tried to pull her back again but she stepped two steps back.

»Forget about it Melendez. You blew your chance for getting laid tonight,« Claire said and turned around to go to the bathroom.

»Can I at least join you in the shower?« Neil asked her louder because she was already out of his sight.

»No!«

»Please? Don't you want to know when was the first time I thought that you are attractive?« Neil asked and a satisfied cocky smile arose on his face when he heard her footsteps coming back to the living room.

»I see that I have your attention now. So? Do you want to know?« he asked her when she stood in front of him again.

»Maybe.«

»I will tell you but only if I can join you in the shower.«

»Unbelievable. He isn't just teasing me, now he is also blackmailing me,« she whispered to herself but making sure that he also heard her.

»So? Do you want to know when I first wanted to take your clothes off or not?«

»Oh Jesus, I can't take it anymore. I give in. I want to know!« Claire said with a voice of defeat and Neil smiled at his victory.

»Let's go then,« he said, got up from the couch and took her hand in his.

»But you only get a shower with me tonight, nothing else, you got it?« she warned him pointing at him with her index finger and suddenly she found herself with her back to his chest and with his hands tightly around her waist.

»We'll see about that,« he whispered to her ear and she knew that resisting him is a challenge she is unable to accomplish and they both knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You did it! You finally reached the end of this chapter. 😀 Was it too long? 😉
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read. 🤗 Please tell me what you think by leaving your review in the comment section. 💖
> 
> Thank you!


	15. Our first

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgan and Henry finally go on their date. Will Morgan tell Henry what is happening to her? Claire remembers a lovely moment between her and Neil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers!
> 
> I know there is a lot of notes but please read them to know more about how I wrote this chapter and about what inspired me. 😊
> 
> This chapter starts before the flirtatious Melendaire scene in the previous chapter. It is set when Morgan leaves the hospital after dr. Lim sent her home.
> 
> Finally, you are going to be able to read about Morgan's date with Henry. I hope that you will like these two together. I think that having two couples in this story is even better than having just one. The world needs a lot of love right now. I love that we have Neil and Claire that represent established relationship and then Morgan and Henry that are just at the beginning of their journey. Moreover, you will see that the title of this chapter »Our first« is fitting for both of the couples. ❤️ 
> 
> I included a lot of personal things in this chapter when it comes to the date of Henry and Morgan. A few years back I was on an excursion with faculty. We visited Novi Sad in Serbia and me and my friends found this restaurant that really made an impression on me. I loved the design of it, I loooooved the food and drinks. We sat there for four hours and just didn't want to leave. The restaurant is called Petrus Caffe Gallery Bar. I just used the original name of the place and put it into the city of San Jose. You can look it up if you are interested and if you ever find yourself in Novi Sad, I recommend it very much. I had a great experience there. I am quite a hedonistic person. I love to enjoy a calm, elegant, and kind of glamourous atmosphere wherever I am. So dressing in a nice outfit, drinking wine, or spirit drinks in combination with good food is something that I looove to do with my friends or family. So I have decided to create a date for Morgan in that direction and you will also see that I have put that part of me into the character of Henry. I really really hope you will find the description of their date beautiful. 😍
> 
> By the way, I have a task for you this time. We need a ship name for Morgan Reznick and Henry White! Please, write your suggestions in the comment section!
> 
> In the previous chapter, some of you exposed the scene when Neil asks Claire: »Don't you want to know when was the first time I thought that you are attractive?« You wrote in the comments that you want to know the answer to that question. At first, I didn't plan to write about it but since I see that that is something you want to read about I included a scene with the answer to that question in this chapter. I hope you will find it emotionally fulfilling and just … nice. I think that they are cute, sexy, and stupidly in love in this scene … like they always are. 💖
> 
> Oh, and what I also like in this chapter is that you are going to be able to see a little bit of how Morgan sees Claire and Neil as a couple. 
> 
> Happy reading! Don't forget to write your review in the comment section! Your comments are my food! ❤️🤗
> 
> Sarah

**Thursday, 1.57 PM**

Morgan came out of the locker rooms when she saw that Henry was approaching her.

»Hey you, are you ok? How did the conversations with bosses go?« he asked and Morgan looked at him.

She noticed that there was a worry in his voice but she didn't see a pitiful or merciful expression on his face that would make her feel like she is a damsel in distress. She liked that. It gave her the impression that he sees her as a strong person whom he believes will overcome her struggles and that was important for her. She didn't like to be seen as weak.

»Honestly, better than I expected. Both Lim and Melendez were very understanding about what happened.«

Henry nodded and they both fell silent. Henry wanted to ask her about what truly happened with her in the OR but he wasn't sure if he should ask. In the days since he worked with Morgan, he learned that she doesn't like it if people interfere with her personal issues and he didn't want to be pushy and scare her away with his curiosity. Morgan noticed how there was something on his mind in the way he was looking at her.

»What is it White? Is there something on your mind?« she asked him.

»It's nothing …«

»You want to know what happened. Why I stormed out of the OR, right?«

»Yeah, I kind of do but I know you probably won't tell me, so …«

»I will tell you. Tonight,« Morgan answered and she saw that Henry was surprised with her answer.

»So the date is still on?« he asked and there was a small smile on his lips.

»Why wouldn't it be?«

»I don't know. I just thought that after what happened you won't be in the mood for company.«

»Well, I think it's gonna be good for me if I distract myself with something else than my problems or my job.

»I agree. Moreover, I can be a very good distraction,« he said smiling and Morgan couldn't hold back a smile herself when she saw how confident he is.

»Pick me up at seven?«

»It's a date,« he said with a smile, gently squeezed the side of her upper arm, and then he continued his way down the hospital hallway.

Morgan caught herself that she turned to look after his tall figure that carried that white medical coat with so much confidence and elegance. She had to admit that the way he carried himself reminded her a little bit of Melendez and at that thought, she couldn't hold back a chuckle. But she also had to admit to herself that she was excited about tonight and a little bit nervous. It's been a while since she was on a date.

As Morgan stepped out of the hospital, she felt the hot summer air envelop her. The sun was shining, birds were singing and she thought of the fact that no matter the problems it was a beautiful day. She felt better after talking with Neil and dr. Lim. Neil was right and talking actually did help. Maybe her panic attack in the OR wasn't just a bad thing. Maybe something like this had to happen so now she has to seek help without excuses. She knew that her problem won't go away overnight but if she can just learn how to live with it and control her fear and trauma, things will be just a little bit better. Morgan got in the car and drove home. She still had an hour to cook lunch before heading to the police station to meet Marco and the sketch artist. When she arrived in front of the police station, she looked around. She was always trying to figure out where the protection detail was but she never could. Marco was right. They really knew how to make themselves invisible.

»Hi, I'm Morgan Reznick, Detective Marco is waiting for me,« she told at the front desk and the police officer led her to Marco's office.

»Miss Reznick, hi. Come in,« Marco greeted her.

»Please, Morgan,« she said and sat down.

»How are you?«

»Honestly, I don't know. Worried. Not just about the serial killer but also about me. I had a panic attack today in the middle of the surgery. You know, it's like you would have a meltdown when the bullets would be flying around you. Not something that should happen.«

»I'm sure that your boss, dr. Melendez is understanding since he knows what happened to you.«

»To some extent, yes. But he is not my only boss. The Chief of Surgery also saw me running out of the OR, so … But well, they were more understanding than I thought they will be. But I know that if this happens one more time … they won't be.«

Marco nodded.

»Did you thought about talking to someone? I mean with someone professional. Like a therapist.«

»Yes. I don't even have an option about that. The Chief of Surgery said that I have to do it.«

»That's a good thing. I work with traumatized victims on daily basis. Therapy helps. I can tell you that from experience.«

Morgan nodded and took a deep breath.

»Listen, I'm really not sure how I can help you when it comes to the sketch. I tried so hard to remember something about the man who attacked me but … everything is blurry.«

»Don't worry about it. We will guide you and we'll see how it goes, ok?«

»Ok.«

Marco and the sketch artist tortured her for an hour. Morgan was getting more exhausted by the minute. Everything she experienced the night she was attacked, she was relieving again. But she had to admit that all of the questions that Marco and the sketch artist asked her in order to lead her thoughts really helped her to remember better.

»Ok, I think we're done,« Marco said calmly looking at the sketch that the sketch artist gave him and Morgan opened her eyes that were shut most of the time while she was talking with them.

»Can I see?« Morgan asked.

»You're sure you want to?«

»Yes, I want to.«

Marco handed her the sketch and Morgan stared at her.

»Yes, he looked like this.«

»You know, Maria also met with the sketch artist,« Marco said and took another piece of paper from his desk and put it in front of Morgan.

»This is the sketch that was created with her.«

Morgan stared at two sketches in front of her. The images of the man were almost identical.

»Now we know how he looks like. Thanks to you and Maria. Does he look familiar? Besides the time he attacked you.«

»No, he doesn't,« Morgan answered.

»Can I get a copy of the sketch?« Morgan suddenly asked.

»I don't know if that's a good idea,« Marco said concerned.

»Why?«

»Because you will find yourself staring at it all the time. It won't do you any good.«

»You're probably right about that,« Morgan admitted.

»Is this it? I have something this evening and I need to get ready,« Morgan said noticing that it is getting late.

»Yes, we're done. I must say that I'm really glad you are not locking yourself in your apartment.«

»Even if I wanted to people around me don't let me. I just wish that a guy wouldn't ask me on a date when I have a serial killer on my back,« Morgan said and laughed a little at her words.

»You're going on a date?« Marco asked and smiled at her.

»Yeah, with the guy that brought me to the police station last time. He's very persuasive. Doesn't take no for an answer.«

Marco looked at her, smiled, and also thought about the fact that he will have to put a protection detail on him too but he won't tell Morgan this. She was worried enough about everything already. Morgan already wanted to turn to leave and Marco thought if he should ask her what he already wanted to ask her last time, but didn't have the courage to.

»Can I ask you something?« he finally blurted out.

»Of course.«

»So … amm … you said that dr. Browne … Claire is together with her boss?«

Morgan looked at him confused for a second but then she realized what he was aiming for.

»Yes, she is. Why?« she asked.

»Is it serious?«

»Why would you think it's not serious?«

»Well … we see it here on the police force all the time. Rookies falling for their training officers, training officers falling for their rookies. Usually, it doesn't work out.«

»It's serious. Why are you asking me this?« Morgan asked already knowing what the answer will probably be but she just wanted to make sure.

»It's just … she caught my attention last time in the hospital. I was kind of disappointed when I found out that she is in a relationship,« Marco admitted.

»Listen, for your own good, don't even go there. It's a lost cause for you. You don't want to get in Melendez's turf.«

»Why? Is he overprotective? A jealous type?«

»Melendez? Jealous? No. He is way too arrogant and full of himself to be jealous at anyone,« Morgan said and laughed.

Marco smiled back at her but Morgan saw that maybe he saw Melendez as a challenge now after what she said about him. She had to say something so that Marco backs off because Claire and Neil didn't need another guy interfering in their life. Jared was enough already.

»Marco, you have no chance. Claire is head over hills in love with Melendez. Maybe it sounds cheesy and cliche what I just said but it's true. You don't know their story but I do. They went through hell together and I know that they will never let anything or anyone to destroy or mess with their happiness because they fought for it. Hard.«

Marco got serious and nodded.

»Because of their boss and resident relationship at work?«

»Yes, that but also other things. It's a long story but … About a year ago we almost lost him, Melendez. Claire literally saved him from the brink of death. That experience will always stick with them and hold them close. That experience was the one that actually brought them close,« Morgan said and tried to push the sad memories of those times away.

»Well, if the guy almost died to finally be with her, then I guess I really have no chance,« Marco said with a little smile on his lips trying to lift the mood and he achieved that because Morgan smiled and nodded.

»God, it's getting late. Now I really have to go,« Morgan said and after saying goodbye to Marco she finally left the police station.

When Morgan got back home, it was already six in the afternoon. She quickly went to the bathroom and threw off her clothes to take a shower. The water calmed her and she found herself looking forward to an evening with Henry. Although she was nervous about the date, even though she still had concerns about them because of the working relationship, she was ultimately glad he liked her. He seemed like a good guy and she felt good around him. With makeup and hairstyle already done, she stood in front of the closet, desperate, not knowing what to wear. She wished that she could call Claire but she didn't want to tell her about her date. At least not for now. Time was running out, and she didn’t know what to wear. Suddenly she heard that she had received a message. She picked up the phone, looked at the name on the screen, and frowned in confusion.

 **Dr. Melarrogant:** _I really hope you haven’t squeezed your tail between your legs and are getting ready for a date._

 **Morgan:** _Ok, this is totally weird. My boss checking up on me if I'm getting ready for a date. Don't worry, I am. I'm almost ready._

 **Dr. Melarrogant:** _Well, hurry. You said that he is going to be there at seven. You have just fifteen minutes left._

 **Morgan:** _Stop it! I'm already under enough pressure without you telling me what time it is._

Morgan had a serious problem. She couldn't decide what to wear. It was summer and it was hot outside so she knew she will wear a summer dress. She had a lot of cute summer dresses and she felt good in them. She singled out the two she liked best, but couldn’t decide which one to put on. God, she really missed Claire with this. Claire would definitely know which one suited her better. She looked at her phone again thinking if it's inappropriate to ask her best friend's boyfriend since he is already so invested in her date.

»Screw it,« she whispered to herself and grabbed her phone again.

 **Morgan:** _Ok, I will ask you something and we will never ever mention it again. What colour would you pick? A dark blue or salmon? I have trouble with picking the damn dress._

 **Dr. Melarrogant:** 😂 _Are you seriously asking me what to wear? And you think that my message to you was weird?_

 **Morgan:** _C'mon, just help me out here. Please._ 🙏

 **Dr. Melarrogant:** _Fine. Salmon. It's summer, just go with a light colour. Furthermore, the light color also suits your skin better._

 **Morgan:** _Wow, look at you. Fashion expert. You took this really seriously. Thank you!!_

 **Dr. Melarrogant:** _You're welcome. Enjoy your date._

 **Morgan:** _I'll do my best._

Suddenly she heard a knock on the door. She looked through the peephole and there he was. She took a deep breath and opened the door. He was wearing dark gray jeans. She had never seen him in jeans before and now she was very pleased to have had the opportunity to see him in them. He wore a white short-sleeved shirt and oh god, he should always have short sleeves. Her gaze stopped on his trained arms and deep inside she tried to tell herself that she had to stop staring at him.

»Hey you,« Henry said and couldn't quite bring himself to stop his eyes from checking Morgan out.

She was beautiful. The dress she was wearing fit her body perfectly. It was a playful summer dress that also looked elegant and graceful on her. It's bright color brought out the beauty of her fair skin, for which Henry was sure that would feel like silk under his fingers. Her long and shiny hair was shaped into perfect curls that fell over her shoulders like a waterfall.

»Hey,« she simply whispered back smiling, then stepped aside to let him in and closed the door.

Henry stepped further into the apartment and looked around. Morgan's home had a very warm touch to it. Everything was in bright colours. He also liked that the space was very open. The big kitchen, living room, and dining room were all in one. He turned around to look at her again.

»You have a very beautiful home,« he said and Morgan stepped closer to him.

»I remodeled it about three months ago. I like it too.«

Henry looked at her and slowly hold up the small bouquet he had been holding in his hand the whole time.

»What's this?« Morgan asked surprised stretched out her hands to take the bouquet from his hands.

»It's just a small gesture. Looking at your apartment I can see it fits perfectly. You know, I'm really glad you said yes to my invitation.«

»Yeah, me too,« she said and looked at flowers in front of her gently touching little sensitive petals with her fingers but suddenly her mind went elsewhere.

»Hey, what are you thinking about?« he asked seeing that she got distracted.

»You're so sweet. You brought me flowers. I … I just don't …«

»Morgan, don't think about it too much.«

»My life is a mess right now. You have no idea what kind of a mess. Maybe you will even run for the hills after this date of ours,« Morgan said and Henry couldn't hold back a small laugh.

»I don't get scared easily,« he said but Morgan stayed serious even though she found his answer funny.

»I just, I want to be honest with you. I'm happy that you asked me out but … you're just so sweet and I … I don't want to promise you anything. I have so much stuff going on. My problems, my residency is coming to an end, and …«

»Morgan, hey. I don't expect anything from you. You don't have to feel pressured. These flowers are just a tiny gift to show you I like you. Only time will tell what will happen down the road. And honestly, I don't mind if we go slow. It's not just you that has problems. I have a bunch of them on my own.«

Morgan nodded and she relaxed after what he said to her.

»Slow it is then. Thank you, for the flowers. They are beautiful.«

»You're welcome,« Henry said with a smile on his face.

»I will just put them in the water and then we can go.«

»Sounds good.«

Morgan and Henry came to his car and Morgan couldn't help but roll her eyes when he opened the door for her.

»What?« he asked surprised when he saw that Morgan looks at him with distrust in her eyes.

»Tell me. Are you always a gentleman or are you just trying to impress me on our first date?«

»I'm always a gentleman. Get used to it.«

»Good to know that gentleman still exist,« Morgan said and got in the car.

Henry leaned his right hand against the open door of the car, his left hand on its roof, and bent down to look at Morgan, who looked up in anticipation of what he would say or do.

»We are almost an extinct species. It's good that you caught one in time,« he said and closed the door with a smile on his face.

Morgan smiled to herself at his remark. As he walked around the car to the driver’s door, Morgan followed him with her gaze and thought she will probably soon regret that they agreed to let things go slowly between them. She liked his flirtatious nature and the more time she spent with him, at work or now outside work, the more she found him interesting, nice, and attractive. God, he really was ridiculously attractive. Could this man really be the whole package, she asked herself in her thoughts. For now, he seemed too good to be real. Good looking, hard-working, smart, funny, sweet. Thinking about him in this way another doubt crept inside of her. Was she good enough for him? For a second her mind drifted back to her previous relationship that ended because she made the mistake of cheating on her boyfriend. Boyfriend, that adored her but wasn't able to forgive her. She pushed those thoughts away as fast as they came because she knew that she will never ever make a mistake like that again. She lost a lot because of it. 

»So, where are you taking me?« she asked him as Henry drove out of the parking lot.

»There is this place … I found it by chance when a friend came to visit me here in San Jose and I was looking for a place I haven't visited before. I wanted to go somewhere new. Petrus Caffe Gallery Bar. You know it?«

»No, I don't.«

»Because of the name someone would think it's just a bar but it's actually a whole restaurant. I kind of fell in love with it because it's different, the atmosphere is amazing and the food is to die for,« Henry said and Morgan could see that he is really impressed by the place and she couldn't wait to see it.

»So, you being so excited about the food means that you are taking me to dinner? Didn't we said we are going to have a drink?« she asked curiously with a smile on her face and looked at him.

»I told you that we will have a drink and that maybe we will eat something,« he said with a smile and looked back at her.

»You taking me to dinner is just an excuse to spend more time with me,« Morgan said her voice filled with confidence and she could see how there was a smile at the corners of Henry's lips. 

»What? Noo, not at all. I'm just hungry,« he said and Morgan laughed at his answer for which she knew it was a lie.

»I don't believe you,« she said but was glad that he decided to take her to dinner.

When they arrived at the parking lot of the restaurant they slowly made their way to the entrance where the waitress greeted them.

»Do you have a reservation?«

»Yes, to White,« Henry said and the waitress looked at her notes, and led them toward their table that was in a corner of the restaurant like Henry asked when he made a reservation.

Henry wanted a more private spot for them. While they were going toward their table Morgan was observing the restaurant. The place really was different. Everything was a combination of granite, wood, and leather, all in autumn colors. Every lamp in the restaurant was different, and above the main bar were copper spotlights. On her left side, she saw a whole wall with bookshelves. As they walked past the bar counter she saw three saxophones on it which have been adapted in a way that they served for pouring beer.

»Cool, right?« she heard Henry asking her and she smiled.

»Yes, very creative actually,« she said impressed.

They sat down and Morgan sighed after about five minutes of looking at the menu and Henry moved his gaze up from the menu to look at her.

»Do you have a problem?« he asked smiling.

»Yes, I kind of do. I have no idea what to order. Too many options and everything sounds good. I can't choose between the turkey with herb sauce or trout,« she said.

»You can’t go wrong with any of the options. I just always have this rule that I never eat the same thing. If you don't try something now, you will next time,« Henry said and started looking at his menu again.

Morgan was looking at him and she couldn't help but smile. Did this mean that he is already planning to take her here again? Suddenly Henry also looked up at her and their gazes met.

»What?« he asked curiously.

»Nothing, sorry, I've got distracted,« she said still smiling, looking at the menu again, and Henry stayed quiet deciding he won't make some teasing remark because it was their first date and since they decided to go slow he didn't want to be too forward with her.

»Already decided with what you want to spoil yourselves with?« they heard the waitress asking them and they both ordered their food.

»Would you like some wine?« the waitress offered.

Henry looked at Morgan.

»Do you like wine?«

»Yes, I do.«

»Can I choose for you? Do you mind?« Henry asked.

»No, not at all. Surprise me.«

»Can we get 2018 Dollarhide Sauvignon Blanc?«

»Yes, of course. That's a very good choice,« the waitress said and turned to leave.

»You sound like a wine expert,« Morgan said.

»Well, I am to some extent. My family has vineyards in Napa Valley,« Henry said.

»Seriously? How much?«

»Eighty-five acres.«

»What? That's a lot!« Morgan said surprised.

»Yes, it is. A lot of work as well. My family has been making wine and selling it since the seventies.«

»Are you also part of your family business?«

»I am quite involved in a way that I know how things work so if they need me I can be useful you know. But otherwise, I don't plan to deal with running the company itself,« Henry answered her.

»How did your family except that you decided on medicine since you have the whole business at home?« Morgan asked curiously because she also went in a completely other direction than her family.

»Luckily, they support me. Always have. I am the youngest of three siblings so I am really the last one in the line anyway. My sister, she is the oldest, is the one that will take over the company when our parents decide to retire. She lives for this business. My dad always tells the stories about how she began to follow him through the vineyards the moment she started walking,« Henry said and Morgan saw how happy Henry got when he talked about his family.

»You have two sisters or also a brother?«

»Sister and a brother. You? Do you have any siblings?«

»Yes, a brother,« Morgan answered and at that moment the waitress came with a bottle of wine and started opening it.

As the protocol dictated, the waitress turned to Henry, who had ordered the wine, and when she wanted to pour him a sip so he could try and confirm that the wine was fine, Henry stopped her and pointed at Morgan. The waitress nodded and poured a sip of wine to Morgan.

»Try it,« Henry said with a smile and Morgan slowly brought the glass to her lips and tasted the delicate taste of the wine that ran down her throat like silk.

When she brought the glass to her lips her gaze met with Henry's. She saw his intense curious gaze and she caught herself wanting to know what he was thinking. The moment felt so hedonistic, glamorous as well.

»This is really nice,« she whispered.

»You like it?«

»Definitely,« she said and smiled at him and the waitress then poured wine to both of them.

»It's the first wine that my family made,« he suddenly said and Morgan looked at him with surprise.

»Wait, this is your family wine?«

»Yes,« Henry said laughing at her surprised expression.

»God, you really know how to enchant a girl,« she whispered.

»Glad it worked. When I visited this place for the first time I liked it so much that I made an offer to them to sell our wines. And here we are.«

»This place really is very nice. I like it too,« Morgan said and again looked around one more time enjoying the cozy vibe of the place.

Morgan and Henry fell into conversation as if they had known each other for years. Henry was right about the food. It was delicious and Morgan had a feeling she is going to roll like a ball out of the restaurant instead of walk. They enjoyed good food, they were already at their second bottle of wine and their laughter merged with the laughter and talking of the other guests, who also enjoyed their evening.

»Now it's time for dessert,« Henry said when the waitress came for their empty plates.

»What? No way, I can't eat anymore,« Morgan said.

»There is always a place for dessert and believe me, you don't want to miss it out.«

»What if we share one dessert?« Morgan suggested.

»A compromise, I like it. Ok, you pick.«

They were enjoying the chocolate mousse when Henry noticed that Morgan became distant.

»You ok?« he gently asked.

»Yes, sorry. It's just … I don't want to ruin this relaxed atmosphere, but today I said to you that I want to tell you something,« she said taking another bite of that delicious dessert they shared.

»Yes, you did. Moreover, you are not ruining anything. You still want to tell me?«

»Yes, I do. I want to give you a chance to back off, now, in the beginning, if what I tell you is going to be too much for you.«

»As I told you already, I don't get scared easily,« he said with a smile and Morgan smiled back at his remark but feeling that she is getting nervous.

»So … amm … the bruise on my head. I … I was attacked on Monday night. I went on a late run, like I always do, same time, same streets and he came out of nowhere.«

Henry took a moment to process what she told him and was actually afraid to ask her what exactly happened. He was relieved when she continued on her own.

»He hit me on the head and I fell to the ground. You know, I was lucky, nothing actually happened because I got away, I don't even know how I managed to escape him really, but he … he did try to … you know … rape me,« Morgan explained and whispered those last two words.

»Jesus Morgan, I'm so sorry,« Henry said and took her hand that rested at the side of the table into his.

»Yeah. I was close to the apartment of Melendez and Claire so I ran like hell to them.«

»That is why you three all came together to the hospital.«

»Yes.«

»Is this why you had a panic attack today?«

»Not exactly,« Morgan said and took a deep breath.

»What do you mean?«

»You see, Maria, the rape victim we treated, she was attacked the same night by the same person. When I found that out I decided to report the attack. I did it when you took me to the police station.«

»That is why you were so shocked that day in the ER when you saw Maria. I knew that something was wrong,« Henry said and looking at Morgan he just wanted to pull her into his embrace.

»Henry … well … now I will drop a bomb on you. The man who attacked us … he is … gosh, I can't believe that I am going to say this …« Morgan said in disbelief and rolled her eyes feeling like her story is like from a bad movie.

»What? Do you know who he is?«

»He is a serial killer and Maria and I are the only two women that survived him,« Morgan blurted out in one breath, took the bottle of wine, and poured herself one more glass because she really needed it now.

After drinking two big sips of it she finally looked at Henry that was now sitting speechless in front of her.

»Scared yet?« Morgan asked him.

»Ok, don't get me wrong but I have to ask. Are you being serious right now?« he asked her and Morgan laughed at his question because it was cute the way he asked it.

»I'm serious.«

»Ok … So … What is the police doing about it? I mean, you saw the guy.«

Morgan told him everything. About Marco, the lead detective on her case, how she and Maria met with the sketch artist. Everything. She also admitted to him that she is scared that the killer will come after her again. She saw that Henry is listening carefully to her every word.

»But what about protection? The police surely have to look out for you,« Henry said with worry in his eyes.

»Well … I do have a protection detail on me,« Morgan said and Henry opened his mouth to say something but words didn't come out of his mouth.

He leaned a little bit over the table to be closer to Morgan.

»Wait, are you saying that right now there is a protection detail watching us?« he asked her and carefully looked around their surroundings.

»Yup.«

»That is kind of exciting,« he suddenly said and Morgan laughed.

»I'm glad that one of us finds it exciting.«

Henry again looked around the restaurant and through the windows.

»Don't even try to figure out where they are. They are very good at being invisible,« Morgan said.

»Maybe that lady with a dog is a police officer,« Henry said and Morgan looked through the window.

»I doubt that a police officer would have a Yorkie,« she said and let out a small laugh then again got serious.

»But joke aside, this is serious. I have no idea what will happen next and how long my life is going to be a mess. I will understand if you decide to run for the hills,« Morgan said to Henry that was still holding her hand and she realized that he was holding it the whole time.

»I meant what I said. I like you and I want to get to know you. I just wish I could spare you everything that happened to you, that is still happening.«

»You know, we know each other for five days and I feel like I have known you for years,« Morgan admitted hoping she didn't open up too much to him and that she won't regret it.

»I feel the same,« he said gently rubbing the upper side of her palm and she found his touch calming and comforting.

It was almost midnight when Henry parked the car in front of Morgan's block. After Morgan told him about the serial killer that was most likely lurking on her, Henry managed to lead their conversation to lighter topics again and Morgan was grateful to him for that. He really had the ability to distract her with his presence and she felt good around him. She also felt calmer because she was honest with him.

»So, do you want me to accompany you to the door?« Henry asked when he turned off the car engine and turned to the side in his seat so that he could look at Morgan better.

Morgan looked at him and couldn't quite look away. The four glasses of wine she drank as Henry, given that he was driving, held back, pleasantly clouded her mind.

»Depends.«

»On?«

»If you have any hidden intentions or not.«

»What kind of hidden intentions?« he asked and she could have sworn that his gaze escaped to her lips at that moment, but he quickly looked her in the eyes again.

Maybe she was just imagining it all because of the alcohol.

»You tell me. What are the hidden intentions for you?«

Henry smiled at her but this time with a more naughty tone to it. He was loving her flirtatious side and even in the dark with just street lights illuminating the inside of his car he could see that Morgan was blushing.

»It would be more pleasant if I could show you what my hidden intentions are, but since we said that we are gonna go slow … I am going to hold myself back for the future.«

God, Morgan really did regret agreeing on slow at that moment but deep down she knew it was the right thing to do. And so did Henry since his breakup with Jane was still fresh more or less.

»I am looking forward to that,« Morgan whispered feeling happy since the night was so much better than she dared to imagine just a few hours ago.

»Does that mean that I will get a second date with you?«

»Yes.«

»I can't believe it,« he said and they both laughed.

»You can walk me to my door if you want,« Morgan then said and Henry nodded in agreement.

She opened the door of her apartment, stepped in and Henry leaned against the door jamb. She looked so beautiful. She was so different than at the hospital. He liked that Morgan, her focus and seriousness got her far already when it came to her career but he had to admit that he also liked this Morgan, that was with him tonight. Morgan that was more open, playful, Morgan that allowed herself to let her guard down. He loved the sound of her laugh and how excited she got when she talked about something that meant a lot to her.

»You can come inside,« Morgan said when she saw he didn't enter.

»Nope, I have to keep my hidden intentions in check. Maybe next time,« he whispered and they both smiled at his words.

»Morgan, about everything you told me … I know we know each other for a short time but, you can call me anytime. For anything. It doesn't matter what it is.«

»What if I need help with burying a body?«

»I will ask you where to dig a hole.«

Morgan smiled at his answer.

»Good night Henry,« she whispered.

»Good night, Morgan.«

***

He was sitting in the car. He had a lit cigarette, the smoke of which filled the car despite the open car window. He was parked about a hundred meters from the restaurant. He could see her through the big windows. He watched her enjoy her date, laughing at the words of a guy that tried to impress her. This bitch obviously wasn't scared enough yet, he thought to himself and brought the cigarette to his mouth again. But he will make sure she gets scared. He was good at that. In scaring people to the point that they are no longer able to live normally, to the point so they even wish that he would kill them. He will take his time with her. What is the pleasure of killing anyway if there is no exciting hunt before? He will leave her now. Let her enjoy this evening. He will give her a fake feeling of safety so that she will think that everything will be fine. He will have his fun with her when he feels that the time is right. Sooner or later this bitch will pay for what she did.

***

**Friday, 7.42 AM**

Claire stepped into the residents' lounge and sat down. She had about half an hour before her office hours start. Her first office hours as Chief Resident. She knew that Morgan will come at eight o'clock and she had an appointment at nine with a new second-year resident that transferred to San Jose St. Bonaventure due to relocation from Texas. Otherwise, the office hours should be more or less without any surprises. She turned on the computer and decided that she will start reading an article she had to revise because it will help her with her own article that she was writing. She started reading but her mind soon started drifting away to more pleasant things from the night before.

_»Baby, let go of me,« she squealed when Neil was leading them toward the bathroom with his hands still firmly wrapped around her waist._

_»Never,« he said back and gave her a playful kiss on her cheek._

_When they got to the bathroom, Claire quickly took off the rest of her clothes she was wearing. Neil was slowly unbuttoning his shirt and followed Claire with his gaze as she stepped into the shower. Claire opened the water and looked for the right temperature. When she found it, she stepped under a curtain of tiny drops of water that were falling lightly on her naked body. After a few seconds, she turned around to see Neil that was now also almost fully undressed._

_»Are you going to join me or are you gonna just stand there and gawk at me, hm?« she said playfully and she couldn't resist not to travel with her eyes all over his body._

_A satisfied smile rested on Neil's face seeing Claire's gaze traveling all over him. He slowly stepped forward to join her._

_»You said that I will only get a shower with you,« he said and stepped under the pleasantly warm water that relaxed his body and helped him forget all the hardships that weighed on him at work._

_»Yes, I did say that. Why?« Claire asked and took the loofah off the shelf and squeezed some shampoo on it._

_»Then why are you looking at me like that?«_

_»How am I looking at you?«_

_»Longingly,« Neil whispered and took the foamed loofah out of her hands._

_»I'm not looking at you longingly,« she tried to deny._

_»Tell that to someone that will believe you,« he said smiling._

_»Oh baby, just because I look at you longingly doesn't mean that I will indulge you and that you will get lucky because of it. I can control my longing in comparison to you,« she said teasingly and wrapped her hands around his neck._

_»So, you think that you are irresistible? That I can't resist you?« Neil said and she felt his soft fingers gently caressing her at the small of her back._

_»I don't just think that I am irresistible, I know I am.«_

_»When did you become so arrogant?« he laughed at her answer._

_»I got it from you.«_

_Neil watched her face lovingly and he adored this confident smirk with which she was looking at him._

_»C'mon, turn around,« he said softly and Claire turned her back towards him. Neil moved away her now-wet hair from her back and slowly started soaping her body with her favourite shampoo._

_Once her body was soaped, he dropped the loofah back on the shelf and his fingers began to massage her at her lower back with just the right amount of pressure and then continued their way up along her spine. She leaned the back of her head on his chest and sighed with pleasure._

_»Does it feel good?« he asked her with a voice that was just a whisper against her ear, his breath caressing her wet skin._

_»Yes, it does,« she said back and concentrated on the touch of his fingers, which skilfully traveled all over her back and released the tension that gathered through the day._

_They again fell silent and the silence was only disturbed by the drops of water that were falling on the shower floor._

_»Neil?«_

_»What is it, babe?«_

_»I love it when you take care of me like this,« Claire whispered, reached for his hands, and wrapped them around her waist holding his forearms tightly._

_Neil bowed his head forward, kissed her shoulder, and rested his chin on it._

_»I love to take care of you like this,« he whispered back to her and a small grateful satisfied smile appeared on his lips._

_»Baby, I really want to know the answer to that question,« Claire said suddenly._

_»What question?« he asked truly not remembering what she had in mind because he was really enjoying their moment not thinking about anything._

_»You know … the first time you thought that I am attractive,« she reminded him and smiled._

_»Ooh, that,« Neil said smiling._

_»Yes, that,« she said and smiled again._

_Neil thought about what to say for a moment. Honestly, there were so many moments through the years when he found himself admiring her, not just her physical appearance but also other things, things that were in his opinion more important than just physical attraction._

_»C'mon, tell me. Don't be shy with me,« she said playfully and tilted her head to the side so that their gazes met._

_»I have many firsts with you, not just about the first time I found you attractive,« he finally said and Claire was confused a little bit._

_»What do you mean?«_

_»There was the first time I thought that you are special, you already know about that one,« he said and Claire thought about that moment under the hospital stairwell when he told her she was smart, special._

_»There was the first time when I felt close to you in a way that I had a feeling I can confide in you.«_

_»When was that?«_

_»When I had problems with Jessica actually. We were working on a case and I asked you if you want children. God, I scolded myself in my head for asking you that but … somehow I knew that you are going to find the right words and you did.«_

_Claire smiled._

_»You know, back then I only saw you as my boss but when I left that room I couldn't stop thinking about how lucky Jessica is. I just wished at that moment that there would be someone in this world that couldn't imagine his life without me in it,« she said and Neil kissed her on the cheek._

_»You have someone now. Me. Gosh, it feels like those words have an even deeper meaning now. I literally can't imagine a life without you. I feel like I would probably die of sadness if I didn't have you by my side,« he said and Claire slowly turned around, moving them under the warm water again because she felt cold a little bit._

_She again crossed her hands behind his neck and pressed herself closer to him enjoying his body next to hers._

_»Die of sadness? You're such a hopeless romantic,« she whispered smiling and caressed his cheek with her thumb._

_»I am, can't help it,« he said and gave her a light kiss on her lips._

_»Please continue with your firsts,« she said and Neil smiled at her curious eyes._

_»Let's see … there was also the first time when I was angry with you, like really angry.«_

_»Oh gosh, when?«_

_»When you broke protocol, went behind my back directly to the patient.«_

_»You were angry? In that situation, I was the one that had a reason to be angry. I saved your patient and you threw me off your service you arrogant ass,« she said, gently punching him on his upper arm and Neil started laughing._

_»But you were smart about it, I must admit that. You apologizing without meaning it, smart move.«_

_»Yeah, I saw it on your face that you were impressed by how I used my communication skills on you at that moment,« Claire said feeling proud of herself all over again._

_»Ok, tell me more of your firsts with me,« she encouraged him, closed the water, took the loofah in her hands, and began to slide it gently over Neil's body._

_»Amm, I remember the first time being jealous of a guy because of you.«_

_»Ok, this is getting better and better,« Claire said and Neil could swear that her eyes started to sparkle even more as he said the word jealous._

_»When were you jealous?«_

_»When Dash came into the hospital because he couldn't get a hold of you over the phone. You were surprised at first but then you stepped toward him with a big smile on your face and gave him a hug that looked so … pleasant. While I was leaving I caught myself looking back at you two and I couldn't stop this feeling in me that was telling me I also want a hug like that from you. It was a scary thought for me back then. Craving a hug from a resident. Didn't think it can come true.«_

_»Oh, an innocent hug was a scary thought for you? If only you knew back then what other things are you going to be allowed to do to me in the future. Things that really are considered to be … inappropriate … And moreover, that I am going to beg you to do them to me,« Claire said smiling again turning on the water so that they were again under a warm curtain of water drops, and Neil smiled at her with his full boyish smile._

_»Don't Claire, don't do this to me. Don't tease if the shower is all I get from you tonight,« he said with a begging voice._

_»Ok, if you want me to be a good girl right now I will be. But do I have to remind you that you still haven't deserved this shower? As much as I'm loving all of your firsts with me, you still haven't given me an answer that I really want to hear.«_

_»The answer to when was the first time I thought you are attractive? The first time I wanted to take your clothes off?«_

_»Mhm …« she hummed and again pressed herself closer to him keeping her gaze on his, gently playing with his hair at the back of his neck with her fingers._

_»Ok … I always thought that you are a beautiful and attractive woman. I mean a man would have to be blind not to think that way but …«_

_»…but?«_

_»There is this one time, the first time when I really just … wanted you.«_

_»When?«_

_»That night when we were hanging out at a bar.«_

_»Neil, there were a lot of nights when we hang out in a bar,« Claire said smiling at him._

_»After the favouritism complaint. When I didn't know how to handle our for what we thought at the time is a platonic relationship. I was alone at a bar and you came out of nowhere. I left but then realized I am being an idiot and came back.«_

_»Ohhh, that night. Now that was an amazing night.«_

_»Yes. God, we were really drinking too much that night. That was the first night we actually got drunk together. We were laughing like crazy and everything just felt so right at that moment. It felt so natural that I found myself wanting to just cross the line with you. The way you were looking at me, the way you leaned toward me to hear me better since the people in the bar were getting louder with every drink they had … While you talked I was starring at your lips that looked so tempting. I swear to you if I had just one more whiskey I would probably ask you if you want to go home with me because the only thing I could think about was your clothes on my bedroom floor.«_

_»Gosh, why didn't you ask me? I would probably just decide to be bad and go with you not thinking about the consequences since I also wanted you badly that night.«_

_»You did?« Neil asked thrilled about the information he just got from her._

_»Are you kidding me? Why do you think I was so touchy and feely with you that night? I took advantage of my drunken state, thinking you will blame the alcohol for me being so overly relaxed with you, and I just let myself touch your shoulder or your bare forearm … just so that I would feel a little bit closer to you, so that I would satisfy at least a little of that attraction I felt for you at that moment.«_

_»We were such idiots,« Neil said and they both started laughing._

_Neil suddenly got serious, turned off the water, and cupped Claire's face into his palms._

_»There are many firsts with you but there is one first I will never forget,« Neil whispered and Claire lost herself in his gentle touch and gaze._

_»Which one?« she asked her words barely a whisper._

_»The first time I made love to you,« Neil said and Claire had a feeling that her heart will explode because of the love that she felt toward the man in front of her._

_»Oh Neil, come here,« she uttered pleadingly her hands also cupping his face and pulling him down, firmly pressing her lips on his._

_Neil immediately deepened the kiss feeling the need to conquer her mouth and pushed her against the glass wall of the shower. Claire impulsively arched her body, pressing her breasts to his chest as she felt the coldness of the glass wall on her back but she didn't mind it. The cold glass and the heat coming from Neil's body was a combination that made her body even more sensitive._

_»If you only knew how good it felt when I finally lost myself inside of you for the first time,« he whispered against her lips breaking the kiss and when Claire opened her eyes to look at him she realized that they are already breathing heavy, their bodies clearly showing hunger for one another._

_»I know Neil, I know how it felt. You, in me … it felt good to me too. It always does,« she whispered her breath hitching and Neil again attacked her mouth, his fingers, however, found their way to her nipples, squeezing them, which drew a groan of pleasure from Claire._

_»Make love to me,« she said with a begging voice._

_»Now?«_

_»Yes, now. Or is there some other time you prefer?« she said with a playful tone._

_»It's just … I thought I was just getting a shower tonight,« he said surprised but with that arrogant smile on his face that showed how satisfied he was with how everything is going._

_»Oh just shut up baby … luckily for you, I changed my mind,« she said and when Claire kissed him again she suddenly lost the ground under her feet and found herself with her legs wrapped around his waist._

_»What are you doing?« she asked surprised when Neil stepped out of the shower._

_»Taking us to bed.«_

_»Neil, we are wet!« she said but he already threw her on the bed smiling down at her._

_He slowly crawled up the bed toward her, spread her legs, and settled comfortably between them._

_»You know Browne, you are gonna be much wetter when I'm done with you,« he whispered looking down upon her face._

_»Oh God … you are so bad,« she whispered with a smile on her face feeling his lips traveling from her neck to the sensitive skin between her breasts, and lower …_

»Hey you, daydreamer,« Claire suddenly heard a voice, jumped in her chair in surprise, looked up toward the door, and wished that her pleasant thoughts weren't interrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! You are the best. I hope you liked the chapter. Please, please, leave a comment! 🙏🤗


	16. Just keep fallin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Attention: PLEASE READ THE NOTES AT THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER BEFORE READING!
> 
> Claire and Morgan bond over a cup of coffee, both of them sharing their personal things with one another. Claire and Neil can't keep their hands to themselves. They have so much love to give to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 😊
> 
> A lot of times music is my inspiration. Sometimes I just hear a song and ideas pop into my head with such ease. That is what happened to me with this chapter. Last week I was working out and this song started playing and I knew … this is a song that fits Neil and Claire and their sexy, loving, flirtatious vibe. 😍
> 
> The name of the song is Fallin' by Why Don't We. I suggest and encourage you to listen to it before reading to kind of get the vibe of this chapter when it comes to all the Melendaire scenes. The lyrics are also included in the chapter so you can read them. I included them in a place that I think starts to reflect the feeling/vibe of the song and well, the love of our favourite love birds, the most. If you are gonna pay attention you will see that I used some of the words from lyrics in the descriptions and dialogs between Neil and Claire. You can already see a part of the lyrics in the title of this chapter. 😉
> 
> I really hope you will like this chapter. The Melendaire scenes are, well, as promised to Catherine256 that expressed a wish for hot scenes, hot and I was bolder this time so they are quite explicit. One more than the other. But get ready because this time is not all about being romantic. A special thank you in this regard also goes to LondonDupree that reads my story and that encouraged me to be bolder when it comes to more explicit writing since I always say that I don't know if I am good at it and I always kind of hold back with it. 🙈 Getting that encouragement from LondonDupree that knows how to write an explicit scene in a way that takes your breath away is a big thing for me, so I really hope I won't let you down with these scenes and that you will like them and find them appealing. 🔥
> 
> When I finished writing this chapter I realized how much in love I am with this couple. I hope that you will also feel the love and desire between Neil and Claire in this chapter as I do. ❤️
> 
> I also want to thank all of you for all of your suggestions when it comes to the ship name for Morgan and Henry. I got a lot of different options from you so it was a hard decision. But I decided to go with Reznite. A lot of you suggested it and I think it sounds really good. I hope all of you like it. 🤗
> 
> Enjoy reading chapter 16 and please don't forget to leave a comment with your opinion or also your wishes for the future chapters. 😊
> 
> Sarah

Morgan was on her way to the residents' lounge to meet Claire. She had to hurry as she overslept the alarm clock and woke up at the last minute to be able to get to the hospital in a reasonable time.

»Why in such a hurry?« she suddenly heard behind her back, turned around at the familiar voice, and saw that it's Henry.

Morgan stopped to wait for him.

»Hey you, walk with me? I'm late. I have an appointment with my beloved Chief Resident and I should have been there already ten minutes ago,« Morgan said checking the watch on her wrist.

»Why do you have an appointment with Claire? Is it about what happened yesterday?«

»It's about everything. I didn't tell her anything yet really. Right now, you know more than her,« Morgan said.

»Now I feel really special,« Henry said jokingly.

Morgan smiled at his words and stopped.

»You should feel special. Usually, I don't share my personal stuff with guys that I know for just a week,« Morgan said back still smiling at him.

»Since I'm so special … would you go for lunch with me after the shift?« Henry asked.

Morgan felt thrilled at his question. She realized that she would love to spend more time with him but at the same time, she scolded herself in her head for being so excited about him. What if things won't work out between them? Then she will still have to work with him and everything is going to be awkward, a warning voice deep inside her started to put doubts in her again but she pushed it away because she did want to go to lunch with him and after a very long time she liked someone and that someone liked her too.

»We can go for lunch. But I don't know if I am going to be able to eat anything. I ate so much yesterday night that I'm still full,« Morgan said and put her hand on her stomach.

»Well, after eight hours of a shift I am sure that you are going to crave food.«

»You're probably right.«

»I'm in the ER today. Let's meet after work in front of the hospital to decide where to go?« Henry suggested.

»Sounds good,« Morgan said again checking the watch.

»Shit, now I really have to go. Because of you, I'm even more late,« Morgan said.

»Me? You are the one who stopped,« Henry laughed and Morgan rolled her eyes at him.

»See you after shift,« she said and quickly continued on her way while Henry watched contentedly as she left, knowing he would spend some time with her again in the afternoon.

While Morgan was walking down the hallway toward the residents' lounge she could already see from a distance that Claire was sitting at the table waiting for her. As she was approaching the door, she saw Claire staring blankly into the space in front of her, the elbow of her right arm resting on the table, and as it was her habit, she was gently sliding her index finger left and right under her chin. Morgan opened the door and Claire suddenly jumped in her chair at the sound of it.

»Why so jumpy?« Morgan asked.

»Jesus Morgan, you scared me,« Claire said putting her hand on her heart taking a deep breath, and then slowly exhaled.

»Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Here, as promised,« Morgan said and put a cup of coffee in front of her.

»But it's probably half cold already. Sorry for being late. I overslept.«

Claire checked her watch and saw that it's fifteen minutes past eight.

»Honestly, I didn't even notice it,« Claire admitted and took a sip of the coffee.

»Yeah, you looked like you completely zoomed out …« Morgan said.

»Yeah, I wanted to start reading an article for my research but I can't concentrate,« Claire said and Morgan came closer to sit down.

»What is keeping your mind busy? Or better yet, who?« she said smiling at her bestie.

Claire looked at her and stayed quiet for a moment thinking if she should just confide in her best friend. She didn't have anyone with whom she could talk about Neil and their relationship. She always thought that she can't confide in Morgan since Neil was her boss but maybe she can talk a little bit about them with her without going into steamy details too much.

»I was just thinking about a moment from yesterday.«

»Which moment? A moment from the hospital?«

»No, about a moment between me and … Neil,« she said a little bit retained.

»Oooh, what kind of a moment?« Morgan asked and Claire saw her mischievous smile.

»Forget I mentioned anything. If you are always gonna be like this, I won't ever tell you anything.«

»Be like what?«

»Like this! I can see it on your face that you are just waiting that I feed you with some steamy, juicy details.«

»Of course I am waiting for that! Jesus! We are two women, close friends and you never share anything with me. It makes me even more curious. Plus, I'm curious to know if Melendez is living up to his reputation,« Morgan said laughing.

»His reputation?« Claire asked raising her eyebrows.

»Seriously Browne? Okay, maybe you don't pay that much attention to that anymore but remember, a few years ago when you were a first-year resident. About what did people talk about the most when it comes to Melendez?« Morgan asked Claire and saw that Claire started to think about her first year at the hospital.

»Amm, that he is a badass surgeon?« Claire answered and Morgan stared at Claire.

»Don't be so innocent. Yes, that is one of his reputations. What else?«

»I don't know what you're talking about,« Claire said and now she was smiling too and by that smile, Morgan knew that they are on the same page.

»People, mostly women considered him and they still consider him attractive. And with his arrogance and confidence, how he walks down the hallways with his big ego, he knows how to stir the imagination of many.«

»You're saying that women at this hospital think that he is a good lover?«

»Jesus Claire, stop pretending like you don't know that. But if you need that I confirm it, then yes. Women think that he is a good lover. Men too actually.«

»What?«

»Mhm, that third-year resident, Edward or what's his name … I heard him talking to nurses a few days ago. They were talking about how Melendez is in a better mood than usual and they well … they attributed that good mood of his to the fact that he probably had a wild night with you and Edward said that you are a lucky girl to have such a, and I quote, hunk of a man,« Morgan explained.

»Oh, Jesus. Seriously? How is it that you always hear rumors like this?«

»Most people don't like me, they don't pay attention to me, most of the time they don't even notice me but I notice and hear everything,« Morgan said smiling.

»But c'mon, that's not fair. If they noticed that Neil is in a good mood it means that I am a good lover, not him. Why nobody talks about how lucky he is? I am the one who is putting him in a good mood with my charm and special talents. Hot bastard is taking all the credit,« Claire said playfully, pretending to be offended by this huge injustice while Morgan started to laugh.

»You tell them that girl!« she said and Claire started laughing too but then she sighed.

»I don't know what is wrong with me this week,« she finally said more seriously.

»What do you mean? Is there something that bothers or worries you?« Morgan asked worried that maybe Claire and Neil again have some problems like in the past.

»No, it's nothing bad. Everything is too good actually. Well … if we forget about the whole Jared situation but that doesn't matter anymore. Luckily, that is behind us now.«

»What is it then?«

Claire looked at Morgan and remembered why Morgan is actually here with her this morning.

»No, we are not here because of me. We have to talk about you. You are the one that actually has problems,« Claire said.

»Oh, c'mon. We will talk about me but first, let's finish this conversation that we started. I want to hear something nice, I want to hear that you're doing great. I actually need to hear something positive since everything with me is so messed up,« Morgan said and Claire thought about it for a second and then nodded.

»Sometimes I have a feeling that I’m dreaming. That this life that I have right now is just the fruit of my imagination. I'm afraid I will wake up at any moment and find that none of it is true … I … I love him so much it consumes me, scares me,« Claire said quietly.

»But it is true. This life you have right now, it's real,« Morgan said.

»I don't know if I told you this before but … my mother always used to say that nobody will ever truly love me, except her. But Neil … he proved her wrong. Every day, every single day he finds a way to show me how much he loves me. I'm scared of what would happen to me if one day I wouldn't have him by my side anymore. That is why his love scares me sometimes. Because I know that I wouldn't be able to live without him. I mean, I have trouble sleeping when he's not home next to me. Do you think that's normal?« Claire asked and Morgan gave her a small smile.

»I think that that is what love is all about. Not being able to imagine a life without someone. So many people are trapped in superficial, shallow relationships because they can’t find someone better or because they think they don’t deserve someone better. You and Melendez have something special and as far as I can see you have the kind of relationship that so many people wish for. Why are you still even thinking about the possibility of losing him? Things are good, excellent between you two. This fear of yours is not justified.«

»It isn't just fear of losing him because our relationship wouldn't work anymore one day. It's this fear that something could happen to him. I'm afraid of life because some things are out of our control. I mean, just a few hours before that earthquake we didn't know what kind of tragedy we will be faced with. Everything changed in just a second.«

»Claire, thinking about things you have no control over doesn't make sense, it's pointless,« Morgan said and shrugged her shoulders.

»You know, sometimes I still wake up at night and I look at him, at his chest rising and falling like I did those few days at the hospital after his surgery. That nightmare will always stick with me, I guess,« Claire admitted.

»Do you talk about this stuff with him?«

»Not as much anymore. We talked about it a lot in the first months of our relationship. But now there are so many things going on here at work and well, things are good you know, very good, but I often catch myself overthinking certain things for no apparent reason. There are moments between us that sometimes just really touch me more than usual and then I am thinking about how much we went through to be here today. I don't want to lose what I have. That's all.«

»I guess you two had a moment like that yesterday? A moment that touched you more than usual?«

»Yeah. Yesterday … we … you know …« Claire started to stutter.

»Had sex? Jesus Claire, I know you two have sex. I would be worried if you didn't have it,« Morgan said and both of them laughed at her words.

»It's so different with him ...« Claire suddenly whispered and Morgan got serious because she got a feeling that this conversation is important for Claire and she also felt honored that Claire finally trusts her enough with personal things like this.

»Sometimes sex is just, how should I express myself, more of a primary act you know. You do feel deeply connected and everything but you feel like you just want that physical satisfaction you get with it, right? But sometimes, most of the time for me it feels like … I don't know how to even describe it …«

»Like you two are just one person? Like you don't know where is the line between your bodies?« Morgan said and Claire looked at her surprised.

»Yeah, exactly. I feel more alive, and while we are just lost in each other I have a feeling that my heart is gonna explode, literally. And at that moment I just wish that everything could last forever. That I wouldn't have to be afraid of life to take him away from me,« Claire said and she saw that Morgan also lost herself in her thoughts like she was also thinking about one of her moments that maybe felt similar.

»Shit, I hate everything that has to do something with romantics and I am sitting here talking that my heart is gonna explode out of love for him. Jesus, to whom did he turn me into?« Claire said and Morgan chuckled.

»Claire, like I said. Worrying about things you can't control is pointless. You're lucky that you two have this connection. You two got another chance. Life gave you another chance. Just enjoy it. The relationship and mindblowing meaningful sex that you are getting with it,« Morgan said and winked at her bestie.

»It's just. I have never felt something like this toward anyone. Did you?« Claire asked and Morgan sighed.

»Yes, I did. I had a boyfriend, about ten years ago already. I was young, stupid, I blew it. I ruined everything,« Morgan admitted.

»What happened? If you don't mind me asking.«

»Well, it's really simple. I was out partying, got drunk, there was this guy that just knew how to use the right words and I fell for it. I cheated on my boyfriend that night. I lost a great man. I still regret what I did but well, I can't change the past. I can just make sure that I don't something stupid like that again,« Morgan told Claire.

»I'm sorry,« Claire said quietly.

»Don't be. I screwed up and I paid the price for it.«

There was a moment of silence between them but Claire then decided that it's time to deal with Morgan's problems.

»Now it's your turn. What happened yesterday? What is going on? I feel so bad for not noticing that you are having troubles coping with what happened to you,« Claire said cautiously and looked at Morgan that took a deep breath and closed her eyes to gather her thoughts.

»I had a panic attack, I guess. I've got a call from Marco, the lead detective on my case on Wednesday afternoon. Their forensic lab confirmed that, well, that the person that attacked me is indeed a serial killer they are chasing for years.«

»Why didn't you tell me this?« Claire asked with a worried expression on her face.

»I didn't want to worry you.«

»Morgan ...«

»Yes, yes, I know. Talking helps, you're not alone in this. That's what I keep hearing.«

»It's true. So what now? What are the police doing to catch this guy?«

»Both I and Maria sat down with a sketch artist so now they have a sketch of the killer. They are following their leads and hoping that they will lead them somewhere. Marco said that it's strange how the killer is operating differently now. They never had a case with this guy that women would survive. Marco doesn't know how is it that he didn't go after me immediately and why did he attack Maria instead. When it comes to previous victims the attacks, killings were planned, accurately executed. No hesitation, no mistakes. But now … Marco said that if they didn't found his DNA from my clothes and from everything they gathered due to Maria's physical exam after the attack he would think that another person attacked us because when it comes to me and Maria everything is messy. Like the killer would just choose us randomly without a plan. I don't know ...«

»God … does this detective still think that you're in danger?«

»I have a protection detail on me twenty-four seven, so I guess he does think that killer might come after me again.«

»A protection detail?! Morgan, why the hell didn't you tell me any of this? I didn't know that this thing is so huge.«

Morgan looked at Claire and thought about the fact that she didn't tell her or Neil that they also have a protection detail on them. She hoped that they won't be too upset if they found out about it somehow.

»I don't know … if I didn't talk about it with anyone … it felt that maybe it isn't real and that everything is just a bad dream.«

»I'm sorry I didn't notice you are struggling.«

»It's fine. Don't worry. I'm good at pretending,« Morgan said and shrugged her shoulders.

»Do you want to stay with us? Because you can if you don't want to be alone.«

»No, but thank you. I am not gonna let this fear take over my entire life. The fact is that the killer is still out there and there is a possibility he will come after me but I don't have control over it. All I can do is wait for what happens next. Like I said to you. Worrying about situations or events you don't have control over is pointless. Yesterday's panic attack was enough. I need to focus because there is no way that I am going to let what is happening to affect my work.«

»Just know that you are not alone. Whatever you need, I am here for you. We all are.«

»I know.«

»Neil told me a little bit of your conversation with him. Said it went ok. What about Lim?« Claire asked.

»Yes, your dear boyfriend was kind to me, strict, bossy but he understands. Lim also showed a lot of understanding. She forced me to therapy but well, maybe it will truly help.«

»It will. You'll see,« Claire said and squeezed Morgan's hand.

»But Claire … Melendez knows everything but Lim doesn't know about the whole serial killer thing. I just told her about the attack. The fewer people know the better. I don't want to see people looking at me all worried about the fact that I have a serial killer on my back. So just please be careful to not say anything about it in front of her.«

»Ok ...« Claire agreed.

There was a moment of silence between them.

»But there's something different about you today,« Claire suddenly said.

»Different?«

»Yes. When you came here to meet me you had this big smile on your face, like something had put you in a good mood. I expected that after what happened yesterday it will be the complete opposite.«

Morgan should have known that Claire will notice these things. Claire notices everything.

»As I said, I decided that I won't let this whole serial killer situation affect me,« Morgan said feeling bad that she is lying to her.

But she didn't really lie, she thought to herself. She was just withholding the truth that she was on a perfect date with Henry last night. And moreover, that she is going to lunch with him again today.

»Is that really it?« Claire said with doubt in her voice.

»Yes, that's it.«

»If you say so,« Claire said and Morgan couldn't tell by the expression on Claire's face if she fell for her excuse for being in a good mood or not.

»Well, I have to go. See you later, ok?« Morgan suddenly said trying to get herself out of the room so that Claire wouldn't be able to ask her more questions.

»See you,« Claire said simply knowing Morgan was hiding something from her due to how she was acting all awkward but she will figure it out sooner or later. There is no way that she is so chipper just because she decided to not let her fears take over her life. There was something else.

After the conversation with Morgan Claire felt better. She was worried for Morgan but also glad that she is finally letting people in and that she is facing her fears head-on. She was also calmer when it came to her own fears. She again thought of last night. She couldn't fall asleep for a long time thinking about her fears of losing the best thing that ever happened to her. After Neil managed to make her cry out his name in pleasure as she climaxed, she rested her head wearily but contentedly on his chest, drawing small circles with her fingers all over his tattoo. The way his breathing slowed down and got deeper Claire knew Neil was fast asleep but sleep didn't come for her. She concentrated on Neil's heartbeat. On his beating heart that for a short moment stopped during his surgery after the earthquake. At that horrible thought, she snuggled even closer to him and she felt that the grip of his arms around her naked body got tighter. He moved a little because of it but didn't wake up. She had to tell herself that everything is going to be fine. He was here with her, healthy, strong and he loved her. While she was enjoying the perfect moment with him, the fatigue slowly sat on her eyes as well and she finally slipped into a deep sleep.

After the meeting with a resident who came from Texas, Claire's office hours were almost over. She finally started reading an article for her research, but after managing to read only two pages, the door of Neil’s office opened.

»Chief, do you have time for me or are you too busy?« he said with a playful smile on his lips and Claire was happy to see him.

His words brought a smile to her face.

»I can spare a minute or two for you,« she said smiling at him.

He stepped toward her and sat down next to her.

»So, dr. Melendez, what do you want to talk to me about?« she asked him feeling that he is up to something because she knew that when he really wants to talk to her, like seriously talk to her, he always takes a seat across her.

She looked at him, seeing how he comfortably sat in his chair looking handsome in a light gray suit and white shirt that looked ridiculously good on him but then again, he always looked like he just walked out of GQ Magazine.

»There is something that is keeping me up at night,« he said back with a serious expression on his face.

»Oh, I bet it does,« she whispered again focusing her gaze on the computer seeing that she got an email from Morgan.

»What did you say?« he asked trying to stay serious and Claire again turned her head to look at him.

»Nothing … If you tell me what your problem is and if I will know how to help you I will do my best,« she said.

»You will definitely know what to do. You have experience with the kind of situation that I'm in.«

»Really?«

»Mhm. So … there is this resident. We have crossed the line and now I can't stop thinking about her. She's the first thought that pops into my head when I wake up and the last one before I fall asleep. She has really got under my skin.«

Claire's heart started beating faster at his words but she tried to control herself and stay calm, otherwise, she won't be able to play his teasing game. God, she loves when he flirts with her like this.

»Do you know how she feels about you?« she asked and looked at him noticing the spark in his eyes at her question.

»Oh, she's crazy about me.«

»Really?«

»Mhm.«

»Are you sure?«

»I'm sure.«

»How is it that you're so sure?«

»Well …« Neil started to speak and pulled Claire's chair toward his so that they were as close as they could be behind the table.

»You promise you won't tell anyone? I wouldn't want to get her in trouble,« he whispered.

»I don't even know who she is,« Claire whispered back looking at him seeing Neil's cocky smile and excitement that she is following his lead on this flirtatious conversation.

Claire's heart was racing, she felt the tension between them and she was curious about what he will say. She felt like the world around her froze, that she was trapped again in a moment with him and had a feeling that nothing else existed, nothing else mattered. Both of their hands were touching as they rested them on the armrests of the chairs and Claire wanted to intertwine her fingers with his to satisfy her desire of touching him but she held back.

»So you really want to know how is it that I am so sure she is crazy about me?« he whispered again and leaned even closer to her so that his shoulder was touching hers.

»Yes, I really do want to know.«

His eyes observed Claire's face, then they continued their way to her feminine neck, which he wanted to kiss more than anything at that moment but knew he couldn't due to the place they were at. Neil didn't know what was up with him this week. He always wanted her, he could make love to her every second of the day but this week he just truly couldn't resist her. The only time that he could really stay focused was when he was in the OR, otherwise, she constantly tiptoed into his mind over and over again. Maybe it was the stressful week to blame, maybe it was the whole situation with Jared and he somehow needed to prove himself that he really is the only man that Claire craves for, which he thought was a stupid reason since he didn't want to consider himself a jealous type, or a type of a man that would have to prove something through sex, or maybe he was just getting even crazier about her if that was even possible. He wasn't sure. The only thing he was sure of at that moment was that no matter the reason Claire was his safe haven that had the ability to calm him down and make him feel good and relaxed. He desperately wanted to drag her into the on-call room and show her how much he wants her. He again felt the need to hear his name breathlessly and lustfully slipping from her lips while he brings her to the edge.

Claire wasn't able to look at him because she knew what she would see on his face and in his eyes. His confidence, love, lust, passion, desire. All of these things that she would see in his warm brown eyes are like a ticking bomb and when that bomb would go off she would lose herself again in his presence and in her own desire for him. Neil suddenly leaned closer to her.

»You should hear her how she moans my name while I fuck her senseless. My name on her lips is like a prayer,« Neil said with a serious and lustful expression on his face, locking his eyes with hers.

Claire's jaw clenched at his words. The way he talked was in such contrast with the previous night when he made love to her with so much carefulness and sweetness. Now, he just looked and sounded like he wants to … well … fuck her senseless … like he bluntly expressed himself. She liked both sides of him.

Neil saw how Claire closed her eyes after she heard his words, her breath hitched, and her cheeks turned slightly pink. He could feel how her fingers squeezed the fabric of his sleeve from his suit jacket and he was sure she wasn't even aware of her move. That was one of the things he loved about her. He could cloud her mind and took away all of her prudence with just a few words. That is how much she felt attracted to him, how much she was crazy about him.

»This is probably a very inappropriate question on my part but please, feed my curiosity. What is it that you do to her exactly that makes her you know …«

»moan my name?« Neil finished her question with a whisper.

»Mhm …« Claire managed to quietly utter.

»I really don't know if it's appropriate to tell you. Usually, I'm really not a type of a guy that would kiss and tell.«

As Claire's gaze was fixated on Neil's face, her eyes drifted to his lips and then back to his dark brown eyes. The lust with which he looked at her consumed her to the point she had to suppress a moan in her throat right there and he didn't even touch her. She had a feeling that he could finish her with just his eyes and words. He was like a magnet, pulling her closer with every word.

»Make an exception … for me,« she whispered and her lips parted in anticipation for what he was about to say next.

»There is one thing that she really likes.«

»What is it?« Claire asked and Neil could hear in her voice that she was desperate to hear his answer.

She leaned a little bit more closer to him so that this conversation between them could go on as just a whisper that nobody could hear, just them, them that were lost in their passionate world they created for each other.

»Usually she is the one who wants all the power in her hands but every now and then, when the moment is just right I guess she can't resist to simply give in, leave the control to me. At that moment she begs me to take her from behind. I swear to you, the view I have in front of me is something I would die for. I love how my hands can travel freely all over her back touching her silky skin while she is down on all fours, how my fingers dig into her hips to hold her in place while I pound into her … hard … and …«

»Fuck Neil, stop,« Claire suddenly whispered and her hand that was still squeezing his sleeve suddenly grabbed the lower part of his suit and he could feel how she pulled him closer to her.

Neil smiled at the sight of his flustered girl.

»You're wet for me right now, aren't you?« he said and Claire could hear the raspiness in his voice.

»You have no idea,« she whispered back.

Someone that would look into the residents' lounge from the hallway would have no idea that two people that were sitting next to each other were sharing such an intimate conversation. There was a computer in front of them and it simply looked like if they are lost in a medical case they were dealing with.

As Claire and Neil were lost in their moment the door from the residents' lounge suddenly opened.

»Hey, the tests we ordered for Mr. Martinez just came in, and…« Morgan started speaking and when she looked up from her tablet to look at Claire and Neil she stopped talking.

She noticed how Claire jumped away from Neil. Her bestie was flushed, her cheeks were too rosy and her boss had a smirk on his face while he tried to fix his crumpled jacket suit in place.

»I can come back later if you two need more time for one another.«

»Shut up Morgan. What is it?« Claire said trying to collect herself.

»She just told us that the tests we ordered came in. You should pay more attention,« Neil said to Claire and she looked at him like she wants to tear him apart.

»Yes Claire, I don't know what has you so distracted,« Morgan added and further inflamed the whole situation and Neil couldn't be more satisfied with Claire squirming in her seat next to him.

»Morgan, please, just get on with it,« Claire said hoping that Morgan will stop with the teasing because Neil teasing her was enough already.

»Fine,« Morgan gave up and stepped closer to Neil handing him the lab results.

Neil looked at the results with a focused gaze. Although Claire next to him was also staring at the paper he was holding in his hands, she couldn't concentrate. He was right before. She was wet for him and now she will have to wait for sex until fucking afternoon so that they come home.

»His numbers improved from yesterday but I will still keep him here at the hospital for about two days,« Neil said to Morgan and handed the papers back to her.

»What about Jared? He is going to be discharged today, right?« Morgan asked and Neil nodded.

»Yes. I also talked with him about the recovery process already so now he just has to sign the discharge papers,« Neil said.

»I can take care of that,« Claire suddenly said.

»You sure? I can do it,« Morgan offered.

»Yes, I'm sure. I want to say goodbye to him and I don't want him to think that I am avoiding him,« Claire said and Morgan nodded.

Claire looked at Neil and she couldn't tell what he was thinking.

»Are you ok with it?« she asked carefully not being sure by the expression on his face if he was ok with her talking to Jared or if it bothered him.

»If I'm ok with it? Why wouldn't I be?«

»Maybe Claire is afraid that you are worried about her talking to him. Maybe even jealous ...« Morgan said and smiled.

»Reznick, I'm offended now. Why would I be jealous of Kalu?« Neil said with a smirk on his face and then looked at Claire giving her a smile because of which she knew that he wants to remind her about their flirty conversation before Morgan entered.

Claire looked him in the eyes and smiled back at him.

»Yeah Morgan, he has nothing to worry about,« she said not looking away from his face and Morgan just stood there, feeling like she doesn't belong but she just smiled at the crazy in love couple in front of her.

»I'm going to leave now before I'm going to witness something more than just your horny stares,« Morgan said and she had a feeling that they didn't even hear her since they just stupidly watched each other.

What was up with them, Morgan thought. Apparently, they really decided to relax a bit in the hospital. Maybe they let themselves be like this in front of her because the three of them were close. Moreover, Claire trusted her with her feelings about him this morning, and maybe that was also the reason that Claire let her guard down next to her now. Morgan didn't mind them showing affection toward one another in front of her. She was happy about it. She liked to see them happy. Furthermore, she would be lying if she said that she didn't want something like they have for herself.

»I also have to go. I need to talk with Audrey about the surgery we have on Monday,« Neil suddenly said getting up and Claire followed him with her gaze.

Before Neil left the residents' lounge he looked at her and she could clearly see that he tried to tell her with his eyes that this moment between them isn't over yet. When Neil left she was left alone with Morgan.

»May I ask what you were talk...«

»No, you may not. I told you enough already today. Don't push it,« Claire cut Morgan off but with a smile on her face.

»Ok, I'm just glad that you two are really at a good place. It really shows.«

»Yeah … Well, my office hours are over. I will go see Jared now to get this over with,« Claire said getting up from her chair.

»Did you receive my email with my therapy appointments?« Morgan asked.

»Yes, I got it but I didn't open it yet. When do you have your first therapy?«

»On Monday.«

»Good. You'll see that it will help you. Therapy really helped me and I would recommend it to anyone,« Claire said encouragingly and Morgan nodded.

Claire went to see Jared, carrying his discharge papers and she was a little nervous, even though she had a feeling they were on good terms now.

»Hey, ready to go home?« she asked him stepping toward his bed.

»Yes. I can't wait to get home. It's so boring here. I am much happier when I am at a hospital as a doctor.«

»I agree with that. Well, you just need to sign your discharge papers and you're all set to go.«

Jared took the papers out of her hands, sign them, and handed them back to her.

»Thank you for everything,« he said looking at her like he wants to tell her so many more things that are on his mind but she had a feeling that he won't say any of them out loud.

She was hoping that he won't. They should leave things as they are now.

»Of course. I'm just glad that you are ok and that everything went well. Now you just have to take care of yourself,« she said with a friendly tone and a gentle smile on her face that she had reserved for all of her patients.

»Yes.«

An awkward silence settled between them.

»Listen, Claire, if you ever want to get a drink, as friends, you have my number,« Jared said and Claire just awkwardly nodded and at that moment Jared knew that he will never receive a call from her.

»When you are ready, nurse Li will escort you out.«

»Ok, thanks.«

»Goodbye, Jared.«

»Goodbye, Claire.«

***

**_Caught in the moment, not even thinkin' twice,_ **

**_everything's frozen, nothing but you and I,_ **

**_can't stop my heart from beating, why do I love this feeling?_ **

**_Make me a promise, tell me you'll stay with me ..._ **

****

**_Ooh, you are my muse, I feel so reckless,_ **

**_oh, you're makin' me, makin' me, makin' me give in._ **

****

**_Oh, baby, I can feel the rush of adrenaline,_ **

**_I'm not scared to jump if you want to,_**

**_let's just fall in love for the hell of it,_ **

**_maybe, we'll just keep fallin'._ **

****

**_When I'm around you, I feel it in my veins,_ **

**_there's something about you that's makin' me go insane,_ **

**_we have a storm to weather, my little sweet surrender._ **

****

**_Ooh, you are my muse, I feel so reckless,_ **

**_oh, you're makin' me, makin' me, makin' me give in …_ **

Song: Why Don't We – Fallin'

***

Claire felt relieved when she was out of Jared's room. She stepped to the nurse's station with his discharge papers and was checking once more if everything is ok.

»Nurse Li, the cutest patient in room three is asking for you. She wants you to read her another story. I wanted to do it, but she turned me down. Can you believe it?« Claire suddenly heard Neil's voice next to her and she couldn't hold back a chuckle.

»Well, then I better get going,« nurse Li said smiling and left the nurse's station.

»What's funny, dr. Browne?« Neil asked since he noticed her chuckle.

»Nothing. It's just cute that you got turned down by a six-year-old girl. I guess your charm doesn't work on her. Smart girl.«

»She hurt my feelings,« Neil said with a pout on his lips.

Claire looked at him and smiled.

»Oh you poor thing. Can I do anything to make it better?«

»Well, dr. Browne, you definitely can. Meet me in the on-call room in five minutes,« Neil suddenly said.

»No,« she said when he already turned to leave the nurse's station.

»Excuse me?«

»I said no,« she said and tried really hard not to smile.

»Did you just say no to your boss?« he said leaning against the nurse's station looking down at her.

Claire looked up at him and smiled.

»No, I'm saying no to a horny guy that wants to bang me in the on-call room.«

Neil was looking at her expressionless.

»I would never ...« he suddenly said pretending he is indignant at her words.

»No? Like you haven't tried before … shame you didn't succeed though ...«

»Well, maybe we can try again. Maybe this time Morgan won't page you.«

»So you do want to bang me?«

Neil just smiled at her.

»Well, you'll see if you meet me,« he whispered and went down the hallway.

Claire was not ignorant. She knew what he wanted and why he asked her to meet him in the on-call room. She remembered the look he gave her earlier before he left the residents' lounge. Look that was like a promise that he will find a way to finish what he started. Claire looked at her watch and sighed. She was in a rut. They had a strict rule that they would not have sex in the hospital. Sex in the work environment really wasn't something that would be considered professional and they always wanted to be just that, professional. But damn it if it wasn't tempting to break this rule which they set to themselves a year ago. Claire knew they would break it sooner or later if they will find themselves together in one of the on-call rooms. Claire quickly packed up the papers and decided to play his game. She took quick steps down the hallway, and even before she reached the door of the room, she looked around carefully to see who was in the hallway at that moment. Luckily, it was just a nurse who was turned to her with her back and a patient that was just going back to their room. She quickly opened the door and entered. The room was empty. For a moment she thought she mixed up the rooms.

»I knew that I am gonna win due to your curious nature,« she suddenly heard and jumped at the sound of his voice.

She turned around and saw him leaning on the wall on the right side of open doors.

»Neil … why are you standing there? I could hit you with the door. Jesus, you scared me. I already thought that I missed the room.«

»Nope, don't worry. You're at the right place,« he said, closed the door, and he had that boyish smile on his face that was reserved just for her.

She never saw him smiling like this when they were working. It was a completely different look on him. She adored this smile. It made her feel all fuzzy and happy on the inside.

»You seem really happy,« Claire said.

»I have a lot of reasons to be happy.«

»Yeah? What are those reasons?«

»Well, let's see. It's Friday and we have the whole weekend ahead just for ourselves, and you are here right now.«

»I see … So … For what did you call me in here?« Claire asked seriously pretending she doesn't know.

Neil reached for the lock with his hand and turned the key. At the brief sound of the key turning in the lock, he looked at Claire with a mischievous smile. His gaze gave the impression of confidence that made Claire know that he was completely sure of what is going to happen between them now. But Claire decided that she won't make it easy for him. If he wants that she breaks their rule, he will have to work for it ... at least a little bit, she thought. Neil stepped closer to her and already tried to grab her when she stepped two steps back.

»What do you think you're doing?« Claire suddenly asked and raised her hand in front of her to stop him.

»You were right before. I am a horny guy that wants to bang you in this on-call room,« he answered and Claire tried really hard to keep it together and not smile at his answer.

She cursed in her head knowing that this is going to be difficult for her. Resisting to break the rule. He will win at the end and he knows it. She knows it as well.

»Dr. Melendez! This is really inappropriate,« Claire said pretending she is outraged by his words and Neil knew that she is enjoying the stalling. 

Honestly, he enjoyed it too. Her stalling the moment, pretending that most likely she will leave him dry, only added to the tension between them and Neil knew he will have to work for it if he wants her. She didn't make it easy for him, but she damn well knew, he loves a challenge.

»You didn't seem to mind me being inappropriate with you last night. What changed?«

Bastard, Claire thought. He had to bring up last night ...

»I don't feel comfortable with us having sex in the hospital. It's too risky. Someone could catch us in the act.«

»So, tell me if I got it right. You are afraid that we would get caught in a room with a locked door but you want to have sex in a car where someone could actually see us through windows?«

»Yup.«

»Please, explain because I don't understand,« Neil said challenging her further.

»First of all, when we decide to baptize Tesla, we won't do it in the middle of a city during rush hour. We are going to choose a secluded place. More secluded than the locked on-call room. Plus, your Tesla probably blocks the sound better than this hospital walls,« Claire said, and with that Neil realized where the problem really was.

»Aaaa, now I get it. You're afraid that someone would hear you.«

»You know I am not able to be quiet,« Claire admitted and that actually really was a thing that worried her the most.

»I can make sure you stay quiet. Or at least that nobody hears you. Don't worry,« Neil said and Claire felt how her heart started to beat faster as he stepped one step closer.

What did he mean? Make her stay quiet how she asked herself in her head and her mind started to spiral.

»I still think it's not worth the risk.«

»Trust me, it is,« Neil whispered and while he reached out his hand toward her he stuck his index finger behind the hem of her cleavage and pulled her closer to him.

Claire raised her head to look up at him with those green eyes that told him a completely different story that she wanted him to believe. She wanted him, her eyes weren't capable of hiding that fact. Neil slowly leaned down and gently pressed his lips against hers feeling and enjoying the softness of her lips against his.

»Still not worth the risk?« he whispered.

»No ...«

»Well, I guess I will have to try harder,« Neil said back and his lips moved to her neck, his teeth gently nibbling her skin.

»What about now?«

»Maybe ...« she whispered this time and she felt how a wave of desire ran through her body, desire which she felt like a pleasant tingling sensation between her thighs.

Neil smiled at her answer. He again leaned down pressing her lips against hers one more time but this time he didn't hold back. His tongue found a way into her mouth and she quietly moaned at the touch of his tongue against hers. He moved away and looked at her.

»I think you are starting to realize that being with me is worth taking any risk,« he said with a cocky smile and his hands reached behind her, grabbed her ass cheeks predatorily, squeezing with just the right amount of pressure and Claire looked at him like in a trans not being able to say anything.

Neil slowly pushed her against the wall not breaking eye contact with her and she felt how he pushed his crotch against her. Claire closed her eyes feeling him hard against her thigh and she couldn't resist to not think about how it will feel once he will bury himself deep inside her wetness.

»You see what you're doing to me?« he whispered into her ear and gently rubbed his hard-on against her.

»God Neil, this feels so reckless,« she breathed out with one of her hands resting on his shoulder and fingers of her other hand firmly tangle into his hair at the back of his neck causing his body to shiver under her touch.

»Yeah, it does feel kind of reckless but so good at the same time don't you think?« Neil said looking at her eyes listening to her already faster and uneven breathing.

As Neil whispered that question into her ear enjoying her body against his, he slowly slid his hand behind her lace panties, which she wore under her scrubs and Claire felt how he started to rub her clit in circular motions with his middle finger. His touch was gentle at first but his finger became more determined with every second that passed. She bit down on her lower lip to silence the moan that was gathering in her throat.

»Oh my sweet sweet Claire, I was right before ... you're sopping wet ... just for me.«

God knows she loves it when he calls her like that. His sweet sweet Claire. He does that often and even if the words by themselves are innocent there was nothing innocent about them by the way he whispered them to her against her ear with his warm breath caressing her sensitive skin.

»Yes, just for you baby,« she whispered back, turning her head slightly to meet his gaze and by the way she was looking at him, with so much lust and want in her eyes, he knew that she had already forgotten all about their rule.

Claire lifted and wrapped her leg around his hip to give his hand that was performing on her with so much determination more space. As she did so, she felt Neil's finger find its way inside her without any hesitation, and at that moment a moan escaped from her mouth.

»Shhhhh, behave,« Neil whispered and suddenly pulled his hand out from under her panties completely and at that moment Claire felt like she was robbed.

»Neil! Is this what you meant when you said that you are able to keep me quiet? You will punish me by stopping?«

»No ... but that's a good idea actually. I stopped because I want to do this ...«

Neil's hands grabbed the hem of her blouse and Claire raised her hands so he could undress her. He did the same with her pants and her underwear. Before she even realized it, she was standing butt naked in front of him in the middle of the on-call room. He stepped a step back and his eyes roamed her body making her shy all of a sudden.

»Tell me something. Do you still don't want to break our rule?« Neil asked her knowing that by now she probably forgot all about it.

»What rule?« Claire whispered and Neil's lips curved into that happy boyish smile that she liked so much.

»Come here,« he said, reached with his arm firmly around her waist lifting her up and then putting her down on the table. The same table that was almost already exploited last time they were in this on-call room.

Sitting on that table Claire was looking at her man that was unbuckling the belt in his pants feeling a rush of adrenaline flowing all over her body at the thought that they are doing this at a hospital. She felt so naughty and Neil ... well, he just had that arrogant seductive smile on his face that was driving her mad and she thought that by now he could already get rid of his pants but she knew he is stalling on purpose unbuttoning that one button on his pants oh so slowly.

»If only you could see yourself right now,« he whispered, and Claire confidently, with a smile on her face, arched her back to give him even a better view over her naked body.

»Tease,« he whispered, stepped between her spread legs, cupped her face, and kissed her.

He felt how Claire started pushing down his pants and boxers and he heard the sound of a belt buckle as the pants had hit the ground.

Claire's gaze fell down to his hard-on and she liked the view.

»That's more like it,« she whispered with a smile on her face and looked Neil into his eyes wanting him to see how much she wants him.

»You want it?« he asked.

»What do you think?« she whispered to him and gently squeezed him in her hand which made Neil inhale sharply at the sudden feeling of pleasure running through his spine.

»You're desperate for it, aren't you?« Neil sad to her and Claire shivered at the sound of his voice that was even deeper now when he started to lose control.

»Damn it Neil … let's just do it, now,« Claire said and her voice was suddenly full of impatience.

»You didn't answer me.«

»Yes,« she said.

»Yes what?«

»Yes, I'm desperate for it, I'm desperate for you to fuck me senseless, satisfied?« she said and by his smirk, she knew that she just boosted his ego all the way up to the sky.

»Are you really sure you want to break the rule you've been following for a year now?«

»Yes, I'm sure! Neil, can you please, please just … just stop talking and fuck me,« she said while she placed his hard cock at her entrance.

»I love it when you talk dirty to me like this,« Neil admitted before he buried himself deep into her with a quick and hard thrust.

»Oh yes, just like that … Gosh baby, you feel so good,« Claire breathed out content and lustfully, closing her eyes, feeling him deep inside her and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her face into the crook of his neck.

She was prepared to take anything he will do to her.

»Look at me,« he whispered, and when she lifted her head to look at him he started to move and it took all of her power to keep her eyes on his, not closing them out of pleasure she was starting to lose herself in because of him.

While surrendering to each other, way rougher in comparison to last night, they were breathing heavily against each other's half parted lips that gently and randomly touched every now and then. Claire felt that sweet promise starting to build up in her belly and she let herself fall against the table with her back. The view that opened up for Neil as she lay completely naked in front of him on the table, caused him to lose even that little bit of control he had still left. He gripped her hips more firmly, and his thrusts became even faster, yet deep and determined nonetheless. Claire had to grip on both edges of the table with her hands to stay in place. She was so close, she could feel it and she also felt that she won't be able to be quiet for much longer. She was right. When she raised her head from the table to look at him she couldn't hold back a loud moan at the sight in front of her. He truly was a fine piece of a man and he was hers. As a moan escaped her mouth Neil leaned down, covered her body with his, and squeezed his palm firmly over her mouth, suffocating the sounds of pleasure that at this point Claire couldn't hold back anymore.

»Babe, you have to stay quiet otherwise they really will hear us,« he whispered breathlessly not stopping his pace.

»Sorry ...« she said when he moved away his palm from her mouth.

»Don't be sorry … if we were home I would let you scream your lungs out,“ he said and Claire cupped his face between her hands, smiled at him, and then pressed her forehead against his.

»I'm so close ...« she whispered concentrating on Neil's relentless thrusts because of which she probably won't be able to walk normally after he is finished with her.

»I've got you, babe,« Neil whispered back to her understanding her words as a prayer for salvation.

Looking at her face that was lost in pleasure, Neil couldn't stop thinking about the fact how much he loves her and how much his body is enjoying her closeness. It wasn't just her that was close. His heart was beating at his full speed, he had a feeling that his blood is boiling in his veins and he wished that she would rip his shirt off to feel more of her skin on him but it was too late for that now. He reached with his hand between their bodies and touched her exactly where she needed him to. His fingers on her clit together with his merciless thrusts pushed her over the edge. Neil felt how her body got tense just before she climaxed. As she came she buried her face into his neck suppressing the sound of her moans, her fingernails dug into his back and her legs wrapped even tighter around his hips. Her body trembled under his from pleasure and as she was clenching around him he also found his release. Coming down from their high the room was filled only by their deep breathing. Claire's grip around Neil loosened and he slowly rose up from her. Standing confidently, looking at his naked and satisfied woman he pulled up the pants that were wrapped around his ankles. As he started to fasten them back, Claire leaned against the table with her elbows.

»Now this is how a woman should be banged in the on-call room. God, what the hell just happened? This was ... you are ...«

»You are my muse. And with you as my muse I really can't be anything else than excellent,« Neil said smiling at her confidently and Claire laughed thinking she never thought she will like his arrogance so much.

»I am a muse to Neil Melendez. I love the sound of it. Damn it, you ... you really are just ...« Claire was trying to put together a coherent sentence, still a little breathless.

»... just what, hm? Undoubtedly the best? Breathtaking? Irresistible?« Neil was saying with an arrogant smirk on his face.

»You are all of these things. But I just wanted to say that you are just really really worth all the risks.«

»I told you,« he said with a satisfied smile.

»You know, we should do this again. You should fuck me here more often, for sure,« Claire said and Neil smiled at her words.

»Why do I have a feeling that I created a monster?« he said laughing, stepped toward her again, and gently pushed her hair from her bare shoulders back to her back.

»You reap what you sow baby.«

»Mmm, then I will have an excellent harvest,« Neil said and leaned down against her neck, leaving kisses on her still oversensitive skin, and Claire's eyes rolled at the back of her head.

»Stop it, Neil. We shouldn't push our luck. Somebody probably already looked for us,« Claire whispered and pressed her lips against his.

»Then they should keep looking.«

»By the way, how is it that I am butt naked and you are practically fully dressed? Except for your jacket that is on the floor,« Claire suddenly said.

»Well, you tell me. You were so immersed in what I was doing to you that you forgot to undress me.«

Claire laughed, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and pulled him closer again.

»You know, I thought that you're going to take me from behind since you teased me with it before,« Claire said.

»You disappointed that I didn't?«

»No, not at all. You never disappoint.«

»I just wanted to be able to look upon your beautiful face. It feels better for me because I feel more connected with you. I needed that right now,« he admitted and Claire loved the fact that he was a kind of a man that wasn't afraid of being opened and honest about his feelings and needs.

She cherished that because she knew that he wasn't always like that and that she is still one of the few people around with whom he lets himself let his guard down.

»Only you are able to bang me like this and still be a romantic,« Claire said with a big smile on her face and Neil's lips again found hers.

»God, I really want another round. What is wrong with me? I just can't get enough of you,« she whispered against his lips.

»I can't get enough of you either love but now we should probably really go back to work,« Neil said and leaned his forehead against hers.

“I know,” she whispered and caressed his cheek.

They just enjoyed the quiet moment between them for a few seconds when suddenly their pagers went off.

»And here it goes ... our bubble of pure bliss just burst,« Claire said disappointed.

»Well, at least this time she has good timing,« Neil said looking at his phone and Claire also smiled when he showed her the phone screen that had Morgan's name displayed on it.

»Thank God! I would kill her with a ten blade if she paged us earlier,« Claire said and Neil laughed at her words.

»I would help you with that.«

Neil helped Claire getting dressed and right before he wanted to leave the on-call room first, Claire stopped him. She traveled with her hands up his upper arms and stopped at his shoulders.

»It's crazy ... how hard I have fallen for you,« she whispered.

»Just keep fallin' babe,« he whispered to her giving her one more quick kiss before he left the on-call room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked the chapter. Please leave a comment with your opinion. It means the world to me. ❤️🤗


	17. You deserve to be happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Claire is waiting for a moment to leave the on-call room she remembers the morning after she made love with Neil for the first time.  
> Neil, Claire, and Morgan have to deal with a worried father that doesn't want that his pregnant wife has the surgery she needs.  
> Henry has a confrontation with his ex-girlfriend Jane that tries to denigrate Morgan.  
> The serial killer is again in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> We have quite some things going on in this chapter. I again put stars (***) when the time or the storyline changes so that everything is more clear while you read.
> 
> I know how much you like memories, bits from the past when it comes to Neil and Claire's relationship so in this chapter I included a quite sweet and beautiful memory of theirs. ❤️
> 
> What I also love about this chapter is that we see Neil giving a little bit of his wisdom again. I always loved how he had those heart to heart conversations with Claire. How he always knew what to say in certain situations, to her and also other people around him. That is a quality I really cherish when it comes to him. I hope you will like a conversation between him and one of the characters in this chapter as much as I do. 😍 By the way, at this point, I want to also say that a part of this conversation that I mentioned was inspired by something that I and Catherine256 were debating about in the comment section under her story Endurance. So, Catherine, thank you for inspiring me. 😘 I know you will notice immediately which part of the conversation I am talking about. 🤗
> 
> Furthermore, I must say that a scene between Henry and his ex-girlfriend Jane that you are going to be able to read in this chapter turned out better than I planned. I love building the character of Henry and I hope he is a character that you also like even though he is mine and not from the series. I kind of got really attached to him. My Henry. 🤗❤️
> 
> Once again I want to inform you that I am not from the medical field. If some of you are I apologize if my descriptions of medical cases aren't on point. When I decide to write about a medical case I just read some articles about certain medical conditions and I try my best to kind of integrate them in my story but I have no idea if they are correct. I hope it is believable enough. 😊
> 
> Enjoy reading chapter 17! Please, let me know what you think about the chapter in the comment section. 🤗
> 
> Sarah

After Neil left the on-call room Claire leaned against the wall, deciding to wait a minute before she exits so that people wouldn't see them leaving at the same time. Claire really didn't want anybody from the hospital to suspect what just happened in this room. She felt kind of silly hiding like this. She and Neil were acting like they had a secret relationship and were sneaking around. But well, maybe their relationship wasn't a secret but they were definitely sneaking around. Sneaking to have sex in a hospital of all places. She leaned her head against the wall, closed her eyes, and couldn't stop smiling at the thought of what just happened. She felt like an idiot. An idiot in love. One year, one freaking year they were holding back, respecting their rule, and now all of a sudden he just succeeded in convincing her to break it like it was nothing. Claire remembered the morning after the night they slept together for the first time. That was also when they set this rule of theirs.

***

_Claire woke up slowly opening her eyes. She was lying on her left side and her body was covered with a thin blanket reaching merely to her waist. Due to the draped curtains, there was still dark in the room, however, a few of the sun's rays managed to sneak into the room illuminating it so she could see everything around her distinctly. She took in the room around her seeing the mess on the floor. Neil's clothes were lying all around, so was her underwear. Her dress from last night was probably lying somewhere between the hallway and the kitchen since Neil was so eager to take it off. Claire slowly started to remember what had happened last night. Dinner, flirting, driving home, making love. Making love … They … they slept together she stuttered in her mind. All of last night's events unfolded before her eyes, and for a moment she didn't know if it was just the most beautiful and perfect dream she had or the reality she had longed for quite some time. She slowly pulled the blanket a little bit higher to cover her naked upper body and then carefully turned around to her other side. There he was. He was still sound asleep. Neil was laying on his back with his right arm resting above his head, his left on his stomach, and his face was turned toward her. Claire lay perfectly still so as not to wake him because she just wanted to look at him a little bit longer. It wasn't the first time waking up next to him, not at all. In the last four months they were together she often felt like if she was practically living with him. She was staying over all the time, sleeping in the same bed with him, waking up in his embrace, making out with him but until now they never had sex, and waking up after making love with him was a completely different feeling. Four months. It took four months for her to finally feel ready to be with him, to surrender to him. But she was glad they had waited. She needed that time. They both needed time to get to know each other, get used to each other's presence in this completely different situation they found themselves in. In the years that they know each other, they went from a professional relationship between a boss and a resident to friendship, and now … they were lovers. In these last few months, she had met a completely different Neil than she had known at work. In the hospital he was an arrogant surgeon, he was strict, professional, always striving toward perfection, he was caring with his patients. But at home, she knew him as a man that also had a boyish side of him that always entertained her. He was funny, relaxed and when he smiled at her with his full beautiful smile, she lost the ground under her feet every time. She could see in the hospital how he took care of his patients, how passionate he was about his work, but it was completely different seeing him being caring and passionate about her. Maybe it sounds cheesy but he was the best boyfriend. He was kind of a man that she always wished for but never felt good enough for someone like that. But he made her see how much she's worth and that her past with her mother and failed relationships don't have to define her or her future. She tried really hard not to let her fears completely take over her mind because she wanted so much from her life. She wanted to fall in love, she wanted that her life matters. Looking at Neil in front of her, his calm face she realized she is on a good path to achieve that. She closed her eyes and she could remember and feel everything that happened between them last night. She remembered how his lips traveled all over her skin, his hands that knew exactly how to make her body long for him. She has never experienced what it is like when someone is making love to you with so much caution and tenderness but at the same time with a wild passion that makes you lose yourself in every emotion that goes through your body. He made her lose her mind, she wasn't able to even think clearly while their bodies were lost in each other's closeness. All she knew is that she loved him and that now it wasn't just her soul and her heart that was his but also her body. At that moment of theirs when she was with him, in his arms, letting him finally make love to her, she realized how silly it was that she waited for so long to be with him. She was sleeping with men in the past just to feel better about herself, and honestly, that made her feel good for a short moment but after she again felt like she's worth nothing, like there was nobody in this world to whom she would matter. She couldn't shake the fear that is going to be the same with Neil. She didn't want to feel empty on the inside once they would have sex like she felt so many times in the past. She didn't mind all of those hot make-out sessions but when things got too hot between them her body always froze at the fear that crept into her body. She tried to control it, she really did, but she couldn't. It frustrated her and she was worried that Neil is sooner or later going to be annoyed because of it. In the end, sex is an important part of the relationship but he never showed any sign of annoyance. She admired him even more for being so patient with her. But even if it sounds crazy she liked their relationship without sex because it was simple, safe. He knew how to make her feel special with words, his loving stares, his simple gestures with which he showed affection toward her. He didn't need to have sex with her to make her feel wanted. She loved how they built their relationship in such an innocent way. She had a feeling that that is the reason it will work. Because they went slow. Thinking about her fear on this perfect morning, the fear she finally overcame last night, she truly felt that the fear of messing everything up if she sleeps with him was for nothing actually. He made her feel wanted and safe last night in a way that she knew he will never let her go, that she doesn't have to be afraid to lose what they have, she won't lose the feeling of security she feels being with him because they were a real thing, not just a fling. Moreover, she gained something so beautiful last night. A physical connection with him that she honestly, even if she was afraid of it, longed for so much over these last few months. At least that's how she felt. Opening her eyes, again looking at his face she thought if it was the same for him. How did he feel? Was it as good for him as it was for her? She was hoping it was._

_She moved slowly to be closer to him and couldn't resist leaving a tiny kiss on his shoulder. He didn't move. She propped herself on her elbow and with a finger gently traced the lines of his tattoo. She wondered how long he had had this tattoo and what had led him to make the decision to have a deer head tattooed on his chest … and with so many antlers. She has to ask him one day about the story behind this tattoo of his. She never did until now. When her finger traced the antlers that led up to his neck he started to wake up._

_»You're doing it again,« he whispered sleepily with still closed eyes._

_»Doing what?«_

_»Staring at me, caressing my tattoo …«_

_»I can't resist. Is it kind of creepy? Starring at you like this?« she asked with a smile on her face and he smiled back slowly opening her eyes._

_»No, I find it cute,« he said turning to his side to look at her._

_»Cute?«_

_»Mhm …« he murmured and put a hand over her waist slowly pulling her closer to him._

_For a moment they just stared at each other not saying anything._

_»How did you sleep?« he broke the silence._

_»Very good. You?«_

_»I don't remember when was the last time I slept so well,« Neil admitted, and then the room was again filled with silence._

_The silence didn't bother them, it was calming and it gave them a feeling of peace like everything is just the way it has to be, like no words are even needed._

_»Is it just me or this morning feels kind of different?« Claire whispered and intertwined her fingers with his._

_Neil looked at their intertwined fingers and then he raised his gaze to look at her. He slowly got closer to her face and Claire closed her eyes at the feeling of his lips on hers. Neil moved the blanket that separated his body from hers and Claire squeezed herself close against him without hesitation. She shivered at the contact with his bare skin._

_»Yes, it definitely does feel different. Probably because last night we filled another piece in our life puzzle. You finally let me show you how skilled I am at certain … things,« he whispered with a satisfied arrogant smile on his face, slid his fingers through Claire's curls and he loved the way she was smiling at his answer._

_»Our life puzzle … What pieces are those who are still missing, hm?« she whispered back._

_»A lot of them. But we will fill them when the time is right,« he whispered back and Claire smiled at his answer._

_»Can't wait,« she simply said feeling calm and happy._

_She knew what he had in mind. What pieces he wants in their life puzzle. They never talked about it since they were a couple but she knew from before that he wanted to get married, she knew about his wish of becoming a father. For her, it was too soon to think about these things but she knew that they will talk about them when, as he said, the time is right. Baby steps, she thought in her head._

_»So, yesterday night …«_

_» … you were loud,« Neil suddenly said and they both laughed out loud at his words but Claire quickly buried her face in his chest feeling her cheeks heating up._

_»Wait … you're shy now? You weren't shy at all last night,« Neil teased her and caressed her hair that was covering her cheek as she was hiding her face._

_»Stop it, don't embarrass me,« she said laughing._

_»I'm not trying to embarrass you. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.«_

_»I'm loud in bed, get used to it,« she said and raised her head to look at him again._

_»You don't have to worry because yesterday night I realized there is nothing better than a loud, moaning and pleading Claire Browne under me,« he said and brought her hand to his lips._

_»You have that effect on me,« she whispered feeling his gentle lips on the knuckles of her hand._

_»Oh, and you whispering my name over and over and over again … please, always do that,« Neil whispered with a little satisfied smile on his face and Claire again blushed._

_»I plan too.«_

_»My name lustfully falling from your lips … it does things to me … God …« he admitted closing his eyes again and Claire felt a wave of satisfaction flowing through her body at the thought she has that kind of effect on him like he has on her._

_They both had satisfied smiles on their faces and they just stayed like that, in each other's arms for some time enjoying their company. Claire looked at the clock on Neil's bedside table. It was nine in the morning. Even though the thought of today, when it was Neil's first day back after the earthquake when he suffered his injury, made her nervous a little bit, she was happy at the thought that they have an afternoon shift and with that, they still have time to just enjoy their bubble of happiness and peace._

_»I can't believe we finally did it,« Neil said after some time tracing his fingers over her bare shoulder and Claire smiled at his words._

_»Sorry you had to wait so long,« Claire said with a gentle smile on her face thinking about all the times she stopped them due to her fear._

_»Claire, you have nothing to be sorry about.«_

_»I just wanted to feel ready,« she whispered again._

_»I'm glad you were honest with me. And after all, the waiting most likely contributed so that it was so good. Because we were both looking forward to this night of ours. But I must admit that sometimes it was really hard for me to step on the brakes.«_

_»Yeah?«_

_»Mhm. That poor couch … So many hot make-out sessions.«_

_»Yeah …« Claire said shyly and Neil couldn't get enough of her shyness because it was in such contrast to what he saw last night._

_»And if you don't know this yet, sex isn't the only thing that makes me want to be in a relationship with you,« he said and those words brought a smile to her face._

_»No?«_

_»No, but well … I must admit that after last night sex maybe did became the main reason to be with you.«_

_»Oh c'mon!! Really?!« Claire said laughing pushing him away a little bit but he got a hold of her again laughing as well._

_»What? It was a compliment! I'm definitely not with you because of your cooking skills,« Neil said back defending himself and their laughs echoed through the room._

_»But you know, if you want to make it up to me for letting me wait so long, I have some ideas how you can do it,« he said while his hand wrapped her leg around his hips and he slowly rolled over on her leaning down to kiss her._

_As Claire slid off of him back onto the mattress half an hour later, panting and sweaty, she had a stupid smile on her face that just didn’t go away._

_»Who am I kidding? I am definitely with you because of the sex,« she heard Neil say and looked at him._

_He stared at the ceiling and his chest was rapidly rosing up and down._

_»Did I make it up to you?« Claire asked him again propping on her elbow looking at his satisfied grin._

_»For now …« he whispered closing his eyes trying to calm down his breathing._

_»So demanding,« she whispered and got out of bed._

_»Where are you going?«_

_»To shower. Wanna join me?« Claire asked seductively and at the sight of her naked body in front of him, Neil didn't need to think twice._

_»Oh yes, definitely,« he said smiling and followed her to the bathroom._

_While Claire was preparing breakfast in the kitchen, Neil was preparing everything he needed for work even though he still had hours to prepare himself. He was nervous. He was at home for four months, he didn't perform a single surgery for four months. He didn’t know what it would feel like being back at the hospital after so long. Claire looked from the kitchen counter and noticed his worried expression._

_»You ok?« she asked him and Neil looked from his things on the dining table toward the kitchen._

_»I don't want to go to work,« he simply said and Claire smiled._

_»You’ve been talking for four months about how tired you are of sitting at home, we had fights because of it, and now you're saying you don’t want to go to work? You're just nervous, that's it. It's going to be fine,« she said with a calming voice and Neil nodded._

_Claire continued with frying eggs and bacon, which was a favourite breakfast for both of them. Neil approached her and wrapped his arms around her waist._

_»You seem content,« he whispered into her ear._

_»I'm happy,« she said back, turned her head to the side to look at him giving him a quick kiss._

_»Good. You deserve to be happy,« he whispered and at that moment Claire remembered the moment they shared in the hospital locker room when he told her that she deserves to be happy._

_»You already said that to me once. Remember?«_

_»Yes, I do remember. When I said it, deep down I wished that I would want to be the one that makes you happy but back then I didn't believe it can come true,« he admitted and squeezed her closer._

_»But … you told me to go after Dash. Why did you do that if you felt that way already back then?« she asked._

_»I didn't know how you feel. I was your boss, you were my resident and I didn't want to mess up our friendship if the feelings weren't mutual. Honestly, I was scared of my feelings toward you. I tried to oppress them but I wasn't good at that.«_

_»Yeah, me neither,« she admitted._

_»You know, after that moment we shared in the locker room I called Dash. And then when you asked me out for a drink after that case we had … God, I regretted that call. I wanted to go to that drink with you.«_

_»You did?«_

_»Yes! That evening with Dash didn't even take long because I left his apartment right after dinner with some lame excuse. I went to my therapist of all people. It was … it was the night I admitted my feeling for you to myself. I told my therapist that I think I'm in love with my boss.«_

_»Really?«_

_»Yeah.«_

_»I was thinking about you the whole night. Couldn't sleep. I was jealous,« Neil said and Claire turned off the stove and looked at him in surprise as she placed two plates on the counter._

_»Jealous? Of Dash?« she said surprised._

_»Yes.«_

_»God, if only you knew you have nothing to be jealous about.«_

_»I didn't know. For me, Dash was a threat. You knew each other for a long time, he's a good guy, I had a feeling that you are lost to me. I felt so stupid being jealous because I felt that I don't even have a right to be jealous. I was convinced that you don't feel the same way about me and that there is no way we could ever end up as a couple.«_

_»But we did end up as a couple and I'm so grateful for it,« Claire said cupping his cheek and then taking the plates bringing them to the dining table._

_They were quiet during breakfast and Claire could still see the concern on Neil's face._

_»Tell me something. Are you really so worried about work or are you worried about us? How other people will react now when we are going to work together,« Claire suddenly asked and Neil looked up from his plate to look at her._

_»Both, I guess. But I know we will handle everything well. So … I'm mostly worried about work. I have a feeling that I won't know how to remove a simple gallbladder.«_

_Claire smiled at his words._

_»What? It's not funny,« he said._

_»Don't worry. If you will have trouble with removing a gallbladder I will show you how it's done. I had an amazing mentor that thought me that very well. I can do it blindfolded,« she said taking another bite of bacon and Neil smiled at her._

_»Deal,« he simply said with a small smile on his lips._

_Claire reached for his hand that was resting on the table._

_»But seriously. You are going to be just fine. Once you are in the operating room again you will feel as if you never left.«_

_As they were tidying up the kitchen, Neil couldn't keep his hands to himself and Claire giggled all the time because of it._

_»Neil, stop it! We will never have anything done if you are going to act like this,« she said trying to get him to let go of her since his arms were again tight around her waist and his lips pressed to her neck._

_»I think I have a problem,« he said._

_»What is it?« Claire asked still giggling._

_»Since now I know how it feels to be with you … I don't know if I am going to be able to resist you. I am not capable to keep my hands to myself when I really really want to do what we did yesterday and this morning over and over again.«_

_»You do?« she said smiling enjoying his presence._

_»Mhm, you don't?«_

_»Is that a serious question? After last night and this morning I regret that I made us wait this long,« she said smiling and turned around to see him._

_»Maybe we could call in sick,« Neil said with a distant look that showed he is truly thinking about it._

_»No, we are not going to call in sick. How would that look? Both of us sick at the same time …«_

_»What? We live together. We both have the flu.«_

_»Flu, right. You have a syndrome of being horny. That is what you have,« Claire said laughing and Neil also laughed at her words._

_»Is that your professional opinion, dr. Browne?«_

_»Yes, very professional,« Claire said and rolled her eyes._

_»Don't act all innocent like you don't feel the same,« he teased her._

_»I do want the same thing but it will have to wait after the shift.«_

_»Not necessarily,« Neil suddenly whispered and picked her up to put her on the kitchen counter and then looked at her._

_»What do you mean?«_

_»Maybe I could do this to you in one of the on-call rooms,« Neil said and started unbuttoning his shirt that she was wearing._

_Claire suddenly reached for his hands and pulled them away._

_»No. We are not going to have sex in the on-call room.«_

_»Ok, do you prefer the basement?«_

_»What? We are not going to have sex in the hospital at all. Period,« she said seriously looking into his eyes but couldn't hold back a smile when she saw the confusion on his face._

_»Neil, c'mon. We have to be careful. We are going to be under a microscope, you know that, right? If someone suspects us doing it in the on-call room, the rumors and stares will never ever end. Then I am really going to be a resident that is fucking her boss.«_

_»Ammm, babe, you are, remember? Since last night,« he said teasingly._

_»You know what I mean. Here in this apartment of yours is one thing but we have to be professional at work. We can't afford any mistakes. The people are going to talk about us enough without us adding fuel to the fire.«_

_Neil sighed and he knew that Claire was right._

_»Fine. I will keep my hands to myself when we are at the hospital.«_

_»Good. So, from today, from this moment we have a rule. No sex or any kind of PDA at the hospital. Ok?«_

_»Not even a kiss?«_

_»No, not even a kiss,« Claire said seriously._

_»You are killing me.«_

_»Well, instead of complaining about it, take advantage of the time you still have before work,« Claire said wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him close._

_»Oh, I know how to do that,« he said smiling at her again closing the distance between their lips._

_»Oh, I know you do,« she whispered just before his soft lips landed on hers again._

_***_

Claire's memory made her even happier than she already was and she couldn't wait that the shift is over so that she will finally be able to forget all about work for two days and just enjoy a free weekend with Neil.

»God Claire, get yourself together,« she whispered to herself, checked her watch, and decided that she waited long enough.

It was the time that she leaves this on-call room to see why Morgan paged her and Neil.

Morgan was talking to a nurse in the hallway and her eyes caught the moment when Neil stepped out of the on-call room. She wouldn't pay attention to it if it wasn't for how he was acting. While he closed the door he carefully looked around and he had a stupid grin on his face that she usually didn't see on him. At least not at the hospital. Plus, she knew him quite well by now to know, that a grin like that was reserved just for Claire or Claire was the reason for it.

»Dr. Reznick, are you ok? Did you hear what I said?« nurse Li asked her and Morgan quickly snapped out of her thoughtfulness.

»Sorry, I got distracted. What did you say?«

When Morgan resolved the situation with the nurse and had already taken a few steps down the hall, knowing that she was already supposed to be at the residents' lounge to inform Claire and Neil about the problem they had with a patient, the door of the on-call room opened again and she saw Claire stepping out of it. Claire had a smile on her face and seemed all chipper.

»They didn't«, Morgan whispered to herself and stepped faster down the hall to catch up with Claire.

»What was that?« she said when she was walking by her side.

»What?«

»What were you doing in the on-call room?«

»I just changed my scrubs. I spilled it with juice,« Claire answered casually.

»I wonder what kind of juice it was that you spilled yourself with …« Morgan said and she couldn't stop smiling with that mocking smile of her which Claire immediately noticed and she suddenly blushed at her remark.

»What?«

»You know ... since Melendez was involved.«

Claire looked at her bestie in disbelief and felt how her cheeks heated up. God, Morgan really knew how to make someone uncomfortable with dirty remarks.

»What do you mean?« Claire said pretending not to understand her.

»Stop playing dumb with me Browne. Melendez left the on-call room with a big grin on his face just a minute before you. He looked quite satisfied if you know what I mean,« Morgan said and smiled knowingly.

»I have no idea what you are thinking in this dirty mind of yours but he just told me some details about the surgery we have on Monday,« Claire tried to redirect the conversation.

»And he had to meet you to tell you that in the on-call room?«

Claire stopped and looked at Morgan.

»Jesus Morgan, stop with the…«

»Claire, I know, ok? You don't have to deny it or pretend with me. I know you two had one of those, how did you say this morning … more primary moments, right? A quickie?«

»It wasn't a quickie,« Claire said and Morgan raised her eyebrows at her.

»A quickie is supposed to last from about seven to thirteen minutes. We were doing it longer,« Claire said and emphasized the last word.

Morgan was looking at her completely surprised. Speechless.

»I just love it when I can leave you speechless,« Claire said, laughed, and started to walk down the hallway again.

Morgan didn't follow her immediately but when she finally snapped out of the trans from Claire's words she ran to catch up to her.

»Claire Browne, did you just admit to me that you had sex with your boss in the on-call room?« she whispered when she caught up to her.

»What is the point of denying it? The more I deny it, the more annoying you are.«

»I knew it! Do you do that often? And in which on-call rooms so that I know I pick another one. God knows I don't want to see you two while … you know …«

Claire laughed.

»Today was the first time.«

»Oh c'mon, don't lie to me.«

»Seriously, it was the first time.«

»Wow, you lasted long.«

»You know, maybe you should find someone for you so that you will be busy with your sex life instead of mine,« Claire said and Morgan smiled to herself not saying anything.

»What was that?«

»What was what?« Morgan asked.

»This stupid smile on your face. I already noticed it this morning. Is there something going on that I don't know?«

»No,« Morgan lied and thought about Henry that asked her to go for lunch with him.

When Morgan and Claire reached the residents' lounge Neil opened the door from his office.

»Reznick, what did you page us for?« he asked seriously and Claire noticed how he didn't show any hint of what happened between them just a few minutes ago.

»We have a situation with Serena and her husband.«

»What kind of situation?« Claire asked, knowing that with Serena they really don't need difficult situations right now.

She has to be operated on Monday like it's scheduled.

»The husband doesn't want that his wife has the appendix surgery. He's afraid that something will happen to her or their unborn child. They were bickering and bickering, I tried to talk to him, calm him down but at the end he demanded to talk to you, the lead too confident surgeon, as he expressed himself,« Morgan said to Neil.

»What about Serena? How does she feel about the surgery?« Neil asked.

»She wants to do it but her husband is determined in trying to convince her that the surgery isn't safe,« Morgan said rolling her eyes annoyed with the fact that someone that doesn't have any medical knowledge whatsoever is trying to outsmart them.

»Well, in the end, it doesn't matter what either of them wants. This surgery isn't a choice. She has to have it otherwise she and the baby can really find themselves in a dangerous situation,« Claire said and Morgan nodded.

»I already told the husband that. He didn't listen. Moreover, even though he just asked to speak with the lead surgeon, I paged both of you because well … you Claire can become handy in situations like this. With your badass communication skills. Either calm Serena or her husband. You pick, they are both agitated and nervous,« Morgan explained and Neil immediately nodded.

Claire sighed and nodded.

»Ok, let's go talk to them because we have surgery in just half an hour,« Neil said looking at Morgan and went toward the door opening them for her and Claire.

When they got to Serena's room, they immediately noticed that there was a cold and gloomy atmosphere in the room. Josh, Serena's husband, was looking out the window while Serena was lying on the bed and by the look on her face, all three could see that she was embarrassed and uncomfortable because of the situation.

»Mr. and Mrs. Turner,« Neil greeted them and the husband immediately turned around to look at him.

»Josh doesn't want that I do the surgery. Can you please tell him that I don't have a choice? I am lucky enough that I didn't have complications sooner. You said yourself it's kind of a miracle that everything is still ok,« Serena said at the three doctors and she gently rubbed her pregnant belly with her hand.

»Mr. Turner, what are your concerns?« Claire asked trying to start a conversation.

»What are my concerns? My wife is pregnant and she needs abdominal surgery. How could I not worry?«

»Mr. Turner, appendix surgery is one of the most common surgeries, also when it comes to pregnant women. Your wife and your child are healthy and strong,« Claire tried to assure him.

»Dr. Browne is right. We studied your wife's case carefully and we are confident that the surgery will go without any serious complications your wife and your baby couldn't handle,« Neil added.

»But there can be complications, right? You can't say to me that you are one hundred percent sure that something can't go wrong,« the husband said looking at them and then his wife.

»The only thing that might happen is C-section. You don't have to worry about that because your wife is thirty-one weeks pregnant, the baby is fully formed. Yes, your child is going to be immature, in need of some hospital care for a few weeks but the baby will quickly catch up.«

»We tried so hard to get pregnant and now this … I …« Josh said going with his fingers through his hair in frustration and three doctors could see that his wife was on the verge of crying.

Neil knew they need to put a stop to this discussion, for Serena's well-being.

»I understand you are worried but…«

»Are you a father?« Josh suddenly cut Neil off and Neil was surprised at his question.

»No, I'm not.«

»Then you don't understand,« Josh snapped.

Neil took a deep breath and both Morgan and Claire could see how that remark got to him.

»With all your respect,« Morgan started talking, »he doesn't need to be a father to know what is best for your wife and your baby in this situation.«

»Dr. Reznick is right. The undeniable fact is that your wife needs this surgery. For now, everything is ok but if Serena doesn't have this surgery and complications occur she and the baby can really find themselves in a life-threatening situation,« Claire said with a calming but confident voice.

»Josh, just stop with this nonsense. How can you even think about me not having the surgery when you know the consequences we can be faced with if I don't have it?« Serena said to her husband and three surgeons in the room noticed that she is getting more and more agitated.

»Serena, you don't get it…«

»Mr. Turner, honestly, it's not your choice,« Neil said suddenly and Josh looked at him.

»Who's is it then? Yours?«

»No. Your wife's,« Neil answered calmly not letting Josh's upset and aggressive tone affect him.

»It's not just her baby, it's mine too and…«

»In this case, it isn't just the health of the baby that is in question. Also your wife's health is at stake. It's her call.«

»But I…«

»Josh, for Christ's Sake, stop! What is wrong with you? Who are you right now? I feel like I don't even know you!« Serena suddenly started speaking and the tears that were gathering in her eyes started falling down her cheeks.

Claire and Morgan stepped closer to Serena and Claire took her hand in hers trying to calm her down. Morgan was looking at Josh like she wants to grab him and throw him out of the window.

»Serena, I just want to…«

Claire just prepared herself to speak and cut him off but Neil got ahead of her.

»Mr. Turner, can we speak outside for a moment?« he suddenly said and Josh looked at him not moving and Neil could see he was thinking what to do.

»Ok …« he finally said and stepped out of the room with Neil.

»Dr. Melendez, I know that you…«

»Mr. Turner, please, listen to me for a moment. I know you're worried. I know I would be too if I was in your shoes. It's normal to be worried, to be scared but this situation is perfectly clear. Your wife needs this surgery and now she needs peace and rest, not fights. Right now, you are putting her through completely unnecessary stress. Do you think she is not scared? She is but she is thinking rationally and is choosing what is best for her and your baby. You should do the same. She doesn't need your outbursts right now. You are afraid and I get that, believe me, I do, but right now you are the one who has to push that fear away, you need to be strong for her so she can also be strong next to you, so that she can lean on you. So … suck it up and be there for her,« Neil said decisively.

Josh was watching him, and when Neil already thought he was going to start arguing with him again, he suddenly sat down in one of the chairs that were in front of his wife’s hospital room. Neil sat down on the chair next to him. From Serena's room, they could hear her cries and voices from Claire and Morgan, who were comforting her.

»You probably think that I'm an ass. A horrible husband,« Josh suddenly said and Neil took a deep breath.

»I think you are a worried husband that doesn't know how to handle the situation he found himself in. That's it. But that's why we are here. To guide you … if you let us,« Neil said.

»I made my pregnant wife cry, great,« Josh said and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

»Sometimes we hurt people that we care about even if it isn't our intention,« Neil whispered.

»Did you? Hurt someone you care about?«

Neil looked at Josh and nodded.

»Yes, I did. It was a different situation than your but yes, I did hurt her.«

»Her?«

»My girlfriend.«

»Are you two still together?«

»Yes, we are,« Neil said and smiled feeling grateful for that.

»You know, don't worry. She won't leave you. She won't take the child and just run away because of what just happened,« Neil said with a small smile trying to lift the mood, »you two had a disagreement in the most vulnerable situation but you just need to talk it through, you have to apologize to her of course and then just be here with her until Monday when everything is going to be over,« Neil said encouragingly.

Josh nodded and took a deep breath.

»What would you do?« Josh suddenly said and Neil was confused at his question.

»About what?

»If you were in my situation.«

»I … I know I would be worried too but … I'm a surgeon, I would definitely put my fears aside and strictly follow my knowledge. Furthermore, I would trust my fellow surgeons that they are going to do everything in their power to take care of my girlfriend and my child as best as they can.«

»You wouldn't operate yourself?«

»No, definitely not. I know I can control my emotions to some extent but that I would have to operate on my pregnant girlfriend is not something that I could be calm about and a surgeon needs to be calm as he operates. You can't operate if the case is too personal,« Neil explained.

»But that would probably be hard, right? Not to operate since you have all the knowledge.«

»Yes, it would be but not operating myself is the right choice.«

»Five years … we were trying to get pregnant for five years. We almost gave up but then it happened. We were so happy and we came so far. I just really hope that everything works out fine,« Josh said.

Neil put his hand on Josh's back to comfort him. He heard that Claire and Morgan managed to calm Serena down because he didn't hear her crying anymore.

»Are you ready to go back in?« she asked Josh and the man in front of him that looked completely defeated simply nodded and stood up.

Coming back into the room Serena looked at her husband.

»I think we should give them some privacy now,« Neil said looking at Morgan and Claire that slowly started to walk away from Serena's bed toward Neil.

Neil looked at Serena and gave her a reassuring smile and she nodded at him gratefully. Neil, Morgan, and Claire stopped in the hallway.

»How's Serena holding up? She looked calm now,« Neil asked and looked at his two residents.

»Well, she said that when you actually need a strong man by your side they all chicken out, make a situation even worse for you and that she would be better off without him,« Morgan answered and shrugged her shoulders.

»Well, I hope you calm her down also in a way that you defended Josh a little bit,« Neil said to them.

»I didn't. Serena's right. He's a chicken. But Browne of course defended him so we kind of balanced everything,« Morgan said and rolled her eyes.

»Good.«

»What did you say to him that he finally calmed down?« Claire asked curiously.

»I told him that he has to suck it up and be there for her,« Neil answered and Morgan immediately nodded in approval.

»Exactly, he isn't the one that we should be gentle with,« she said confidently and Neil looked at her.

»I did it in a sensitive way, Morgan,« Neil said to her.

Morgan already tried to speak when Claire's pager went off.

»I'm needed in the ER,« she said and looked at Neil.

»See you after the shift. Good luck with the surgery you two,« she said and already left down the hallway.

Morgan looked at Neil again.

»Are you saying I don't know how to be sensitive when it comes to people?«

»You looked at him like you wanna shred him to pieces.«

»I just can't stand people that are so stubborn. Yes, he's afraid but he should put his wife first. His fear doesn't matter right now. The most important thing is that Serena is calm and confident about the surgery. I swear, if one day my boyfriend is going to act like this, I will dump his ass,« Morgan said.

»Well, to avoid that maybe you should ask White what he thinks about situations like this so that you know from the get-go what kind of a man you are dating,« Neil suddenly said.

»Very funny,« she said and it was the first time that Neil saw Morgan blushing.

She really liked White, he thought to himself.

»How was your date last night?«

»Fine,« Morgan said like she didn't care about his question.

»Just fine?« Neil pushed a little bit further and raised his eyebrows at her.

»It was perfect, ok? He really made an impression on me,« Morgan admitted.

»You're planning to go on another date?«

»We're having lunch today.«

»Oh, already? He really did well yesterday then,« Neil teased her.

»Will you tell Claire?« he asked her.

»No, not yet.«

»C'mon, when are you going to tell her? If she finds out that I knew about you and White and I didn't tell her she is going to be so angry with me,« Neil said.

»She won't find out that you knew before her, don't worry.«

»I sure hope so. Oh, and if you need fashion advice again don't hesitate to ask me,« he teased her.

»I said that we won't speak of it again,« Morgan warned him and they both laughed.

»C'mon, we have to go. Surgery is in ten minutes. Are you feeling ok today? Please, don't storm out of the OR again without warning,« Neil said worriedly.

»I won't, don't worry. I feel good. I'm going to be fine,« Morgan said and they both went toward the operating room to scrub in.

The rest of the working day passed quickly. Claire made her way from the emergency room to Neil's office where he waited for her to go home together. She saw Morgan sitting at the residents' lounge.

»Hey Morgan, going home?« Claire asked but Morgan was focused on typing the message on her phone.

»Morgan?«

»What?«

»I asked you if you're going home,« Claire repeated her question and looked at Morgan suspiciously.

»Oh yes, I just need to do some paperwork and then I'm gonna go, yes,« she said again looking at her phone at the sound of a newly received message.

»You seem very enthusiastic about the messages you're getting,« Claire said.

»Amm, it's just my brother. He's coming to town. We are making plans,« Morgan said.

»That's nice. You will have company,« Claire said and smiled at her.

»Yes.«

»Morgan, if you will need something you ca…«

»…yes, I can always call you or come over. Don't worry Claire. I'm fine,« Claire said and smiled at her with a reassuring smile.

»Don't forget about the therapy session on Monday.«

»I already marked my calendar.«

Neil stepped to the residents' lounge and saw Morgan how she was looking at him. Like she wanted to push him and Claire out of the hospital with just her eyes. He got the hint.

»Claire, you're ready? Let's go home,« he said and stepped closer to her.

»Yes, let's go. Morgan, have a great weekend. Call me if you need anything, ok?«

»Yes, I will. Now go you two.«

Claire stepped out of the resident's lounge first and just before they left Neil looked at Morgan with a calculating smile. He knew that Morgan wanted them out of the hospital so she could meet Henry without Claire finding out. He really didn't know why she was so secretive about it. But then again, she and Henry knew each other for a very short time. Morgan probably just wanted to get to know him better before telling Claire.

As Neil and Claire were leaving the hospital Claire couldn't stop thinking about Morgan.

»She's acting weird,« she said to Neil.

»Who?«

»Morgan, who else? Do you think that something is going on with the case? But I think it's about something else. Something good. She seems calm, in a good mood, and …«

Neil stepped in front of her to stop her.

»Babe, stop worrying and stop overthinking. As you said, she is in a good mood. We should be glad that she is like this with everything that is happening to her.«

»I have a feeling she is hiding something,« Claire said irritated.

»If she is she probably has a good reason and she will tell you when she's ready.«

»You're probably right. I will just wait for her to tell me. But I know that she is hiding something, I feel it.«

»Ok, Detective Browne, c'mon, let's go home now,« Neil said smiling and took her hand in his while they were leaving the hospital.

***

Henry just closed his locker as he responded to Morgan's message to meet her outside.

»Well, I see that you have time to respond to messages. When they are not from me,« he heard a voice behind him and turned around.

Jane was sitting on the bench in front of the lockers looking at him.

»Jane, what do you want?« Henry said wearily.

»Do you have time for lunch?«

Henry looked at her and thought how he just wants to leave the room without even dealing and talking to her at all.

»No, I don't,« he said and tried to leave but she grabbed him by his hand to stop him and stood up herself.

»Baby, how…

»Stop calling me that, you don't have the right to call me like that anymore.«

»Henry, how many times will I have to say that I'm sorry? I made a mistake. Please. We can work this out. I will earn your trust back and …«

»Jane, I don't know how many more times I will have to tell you this. It's over. I could never trust you again. You cheated on me. In my own home!«

»You are acting like everything is my fault,« Jane suddenly said raising her voice.

»It isn't? Is it my fault that you jumped into bed with someone else?«

»I was lonely, ok? You were never there for me!«

»I was never there? Seriously?«

»Yes, every single day for the last half of the year you showed more interest in books and your future career than me. How do you think I felt?«

»Bullshit. Yes, I was studying hard … so were you. You of all people should understand the situation since you also worked hard to get here. And yes, it was hard sometimes for me, I admit. It was hard to balance a relationship with everything that was going on at the university and when it came to applying for residency. But I always, always paid attention to you. How dare you make this just about me? If you didn't notice there were countless times when I called you, there were countless times when I missed you and needed you and you were the one who was rather partying with your so-called girls doing God knows what like you are in high school. Oh wait, I know what you were doing, you were screwing a guy in my own bed when I wasn't home. Tell me, why did you go to my apartment? Was it closer to the club where you picked up your fuck for the night? You know, I don't know why you didn't end things with me if I was such a lousy boyfriend to you. If it was so wrong of me to sometimes put myself and my career first so I can achieve something I really want. I always supported you. When you decided to go to study in Europe for a year I waited for you. For a year! I saw you just three times through the whole year and the thought of cheating on you has never crossed my mind and God knows I had opportunities to do it but I never did because I loved you. You know, now I'm not even sure if this time was the only time you cheated on me.«

»You think that you are so much better than me, don't you? With your family's money, the family's bussines with your arrogance when it comes to medicine. You know, you are not much better than me in that department. Don't forget that we both got a residency here at this hospital.«

Henry was getting angrier and angrier. He was sick of her.

»First of all, my family works hard for everything they have and they were nothing but good to you so don't you dare insult them or even mention them. You know what, I don't know why you feel the need to humiliate me right now and why you are establishing some kind of competitive vibe here. Probably because you want to feel better about yourself. You can't get me back so now you are trying to trample me when it comes to my profession. I can play your game, no problem. So here it goes. Yes, we both got a residency here. But I am going to be the one who will stay here after five years of this residency because I am better than you. Always was, always will be. And remember this day, remember the words I will say to you now. Sooner or later you are going to see me happy with a woman that will respect me and you are still going to be alone, blaming everyone else for your failures. And one day you won't be able to open a fucking medical journal without my articles and my name in them, you hear me? « Henry said and stepped past her trying to leave.

»I get it. You want to follow the steps of your dear overcompetitive Morgan Reznick, right?«

»You leave her out of this,« Henry hissed back and stepped back toward her.

»You know nothing about her. You just know her as this amazing talented surgeon. But do you know that she is a backstabbing bitch? You should ask your boss and Chief Resident what she did to them about a year ago.«

»Jane, mind your own business,« Henry said back trying not to show how her remark about Morgan got to him.

»One day you will see that I was right about her,« she yelled after Henry when he already turned around and started leaving the locker room.

Henry was approaching the staircase that led to the exit. He knew that Morgan was probably already waiting for him. Jane surely knew how to pick a moment. He was thinking if she will ever get tired of following him around, making everything difficult for the both of them. It was obvious she didn't move on. But he … after what she did, he didn't even think of her. He never thought that you can forget someone so fast, but he learned from her that if a person hurts you enough, you really can move on knowing you deserve better. His anger and disappointment erased all the love he felt for her. But he couldn’t stop thinking about what she said about Morgan. He knew he shouldn't think of it, he wasn't a guy that would pay attention to gossip. Even if Morgan did something to Neil and Claire they forgave her. He was sure of that since they were close. That is what matters. If they forgave her why would he have to hold it against her or be worried about it? No, he will not let Jane get to his head. He will get to know Morgan on its own terms.

»Hey, have you been waiting for me for a long time?« Henry asked Morgan when he reached her.

»No, just a minute or two,« Morgan answered and smiled at him.

»Ready to go? I'm starving. I had a crazy shift,« Henry said moving toward the door.

»You and me both,« Morgan answered and stepped outside as Henry opened the door for her.

***

Jane followed Henry as he left the locker room. Now she was standing at the top of the stairs. Looking at Henry and Morgan she could see that they looked pretty close already. She saw how he opened the door for her and put his hand at the small of her back as she stepped through the door. Morgan slightly turned around to look at him and laughed as he said something to her. What the hell did he see on this woman, she thought to herself. Well, if he doesn't figure out for himself what kind of woman she really is, she'll make sure to show her to him in her true light.

As Jane turned to get back to work, she suddenly bumped into a tall figure that appeared in front of her, and all the papers she was holding in her hands scattered all over the floor.

»I'm so sorry, I didn't see you. I was looking at my phone. Here, let me help you with these,« she suddenly heard a man say while she was already picking up the papers and at the sound of the man's voice, she raised her gaze to look at him.

»I wasn't looking either, sorry,« she said back.

When they finally managed to pick up all the papers from the floor, they stood up and Jane got a better look at the man in front of her. She quickly started fixing her hair in her smug style like she always does when she finds someone attractive.

»Thank you …« she said raising her voice a little bit to let him know she wants to know his name.

»Matthew,« he said offering her his hand.

»Jane Carter,« she answered, squeezed his hand and smiled at him but felt a little disappointed he didn't tell her a surname by which she could look him up.

»Well, nice to meet you, and again, sorry, I should pay more attention.«

»Don't worry. Amm, well, thank you again. I have to go,« she said.

»Of course. Have a great day Jane.«

»Yeah, you too,« she said and walked past him down the hall.

The man turned around looking at her leaving and his kind smile he had put on just for her faded. He could smell desperation on her. She was desperate for attention as much as he was desperate to have his revenge. She was perfect. Perfect for him to use. She wasn't his type though. Long dark hair, brown eyes, a little too skinny for his taste. Her physical appearance did not meet the requirements he had for his victims. He always goes for blondes, blondes with piercing blue eyes. But that didn't matter because he wasn't planning on killing her. No, he needs her to gain more information about his favourite blondie that just left the hospital. Blondie with which he will have so much fun when he gets his hands on her. The thought of taking her life filled him with satisfaction but he knew that he will wait for now. A quick death is not good enough in this case. He will haunt her before he kills her. Thinking about Jane he knew that gaining information from her won't be hard. As desperate as she is for attention, he won't have to put a lot of effort to wrap her around his little finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I hope you liked the chapter. Tell me what you think about it. What did you like the most? 🤗
> 
> Thank you again for taking the time to read my story. ❤️


	18. Our Friday afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How is lunch between Henry and Morgan going to turn out? Neil and Claire share a domestic afternoon at their home. Jane is alone at a bar trying to drown her misery in liquor. But she isn't alone for long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers!
> 
> I am glad to hear that a lot of you like different storylines in my story. I know that Melendaire is always in the first place in our hearts but since now we have one more couple on the horizon I can't avoid not write more about them. I hope that doesn't bother you. In this chapter, quite a lot of space is dedicated to Morgan and Henry but don't worry!! Even during their time, during their conversation, you will be able to read about Neil and Claire because Henry and Morgan will talk about them. So Melendaire is kind of integrated into their storyline. I always try to put into the chapter as much of Neil and Claire as I can. ❤️
> 
> I also wanted to write a Melendaire scene that will give us a view into their more domestic life so I hope that you will like it. I want to expose one more thing in this chapter. From what I read through different social media we fans are angry about how nobody really fought for Neil, how nobody even knew that he's dying, except Claire, Audrey, and Glassman. I'm still hurting because of that and you will see that I took this anger of ours and kind of project it through Claire in this chapter. 😊
> 
> Furthermore, I hope you are also enjoying the whole mystery when it comes to the serial killer. You will be able to get to know him just a little bit more in this chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy reading chapter 18! Don't forget to leave me a comment. It means a lot! 🤗😘
> 
> Sarah

Morgan and Henry were already comfortably seated and were waiting for their food. Since Henry asked her about how she feels today after yesterday's panic attack Morgan was starting to tell him all about the surgery she had with Melendez and how she was feeling really good but after a minute or so she noticed Henry's absent gaze.

»Earth to Henry,« Morgan said cautiously but she didn't get a response from him.

With her hand, she slowly reached toward his that rested on the table and covered it with hers. Henry winced at the touch but then looked at her.

»Are you ok?« Morgan asked when she finally got his attention.

»Me? Yes, yes, I'm fine. Sorry, I just … I …«

»Just admit it. I'm boring,« Morgan stopped his stuttering and smiled at him.

»No, God no, you're not boring. It's, it's been a long week, that's all,« Henry said not able to keep Jane's words from his head.

He noticed that Morgan still didn't move away her hand and at that moment he said to himself that this is exactly what Jane wants. She wants that he doubts Morgan. He can't let her do this to him. She already hurt him enough. He took advantage of Morgan's tiny gesture and slowly turned over his hand so that Morgan's gentle, much smaller palm fell into his and he gently squeezed it.

»You could never be boring,« he said to her and Morgan looked at their hands thinking about how nice it feels to be like this with him.

»I'm sorry, I drifted away. What did you say about the surgery with Melendez?« Henry asked again.

»I just said that it all went well and that I felt fine. My thoughts were calm and I really felt much better than yesterday. I guess me sharing my concerns with you yesterday and Claire this morning helped. So thank you. For listening to me yesterday and for not running away. I know that everything I told you it's quite a lot to handle. Not all people would be so calm about it,« Morgan said and she thought if she should move away her hand from his but he didn't seem to mind so she just left her hand in his.

»We all have our struggles. We shouldn't deal with them alone,« Henry said and Morgan thought about his words.

He still looked a little bit off. He was definitely not in the same mood as yesterday night. She thought if his long first week was really the only reason that he looked so tired and somehow worried. She wondered if she should ask him about it one more time but she held back. She also didn't like it if someone was being pushy when it comes to her personal life. He would probably tell her if he wanted.

»I'm used to deal with problems alone. That is probably the reason why is so hard for me to share my problems and struggles with other people. I wonder how the therapy will go. Talking about everything with a stranger.«

»I think that is an advantage. The therapist is objective. It will probably be easier to talk with her.«

»I don't know. I can already know she will poke my brain with stupid questions. How do you feel? What do you think about this and about that? Do you think it's your fault that you got attacked?« Morgan said and rolled her eyes.

»Do you think that?«

»What?«

»That it's your fault,« Henry said.

Morgan thought for a second and sighed.

»Honestly, I don't know. That night when I ran to Claire and Melendez he … Melendez was really upset with me. He asked me why I was running alone on those streets and not on public tracks that are safer. I was upset when he said that because people should always be safe, you know. No matter where we are but … he was right. No matter how we wish that the world would be a better place so that we could be safe, bad things do happen, bad people exist, people hurt other people. If I ran on a public track maybe this wouldn't happen to me,« Morgan said.

Morgan felt how Henry again gently squeezed her hand.

»No matter the situation, it's not your fault, you have to keep that in mind,« Henry said and Morgan looked from his face to his hands again and smiled.

»This feels really nice,« she suddenly said thinking if she confessed too much but a little smile at the corner of Henry's lips calmed her down.

»Yes, it does,« Henry said back and he saw how Morgan visibly relaxed when he did.

»You are really not big with sharing your emotions with other people,« Henry said and he caressed the upper side of her hand with his thumb.

Morgan was very much aware of his move and she couldn't stop thinking about how comfortable she feels around him. It was strange because she always had trouble with trusting people, with letting them into her life but Henry … he just kind of slipped into her life and he did it with such ease.

»Somehow is very easy for me to do that with you. I don't know why,« she admitted and Henry stared in those blue eyes of hers that were like a magnet for him.

»Well, I'm glad it's me,« Henry said and at that moment the waiter brought them their food and interrupted their moment.

They let go of their hands and looked at the plates in front of them.

»I'm going to get fat because of you,« Morgan said and disapprovingly nodded with her head at the side of her full plate.

»I don't mind,« he said.

»Really? Let's say that we are going to be together in the future, potentially speaking, of course, and…«

»…just potentially of course,« Henry interrupted her with a confident smile on his face as he started to cut his stake.

»Yes, just potentially, don't be overconfident,« Morgan jokingly said back and smiled again.

»Ok, you just keep playing hard to get. So, you were saying …«

»If we are going to get together you are ok if I get fat? I mean, look at you …«

»What?«

»Don't play dumb Henry. You are probably working out every day. When do you even find the time to do it? If I find time three times a week to work out or do some relaxing Yoga is a lot. I can't imagine going to fitness.«

»I have fitness equipment at home,« Henry said and shrugged his shoulders.

»Of course you do,« Morgan said and laughed.

»No, but seriously. You are perfect and it shows you work out and that you take care of yourself. I sometimes say that I work out just so that I can eat a lot. I love to eat,« Henry said and took another bite.

»I can see that,« Morgan said with a smile on her face.

»And to answer your question, I like you like this and I would still like you with some pounds more. It's really all the same for me.«

»You're saying this now.«

»You really think I'm that shallow?« he asked her and Morgan sighed.

»All guys say at their first or … second date«, Morgan said and waved her hand between them to highlight the situation she was talking about, »that appearance doesn't matter. Bullshit.«

»Well, my dear, then you dated the wrong guys.«

Morgan's heart skipped a beat at his words. My dear. She liked the sound of it and the gentle way he said it. It was a long time since she was in a relationship. Quite some time has passed since she was even dating. With Henry, she realized that she was missing this. Meeting someone, talking with them, getting compliments.

»But really, how often do you work out?« Morgan asked genuinely curious.

»At least five times a week. It relaxes me and it's kind of the only thing that switches of my mind. That is why I like it. Being in shape is just a bonus. Plus, I need to stay in shape.«

»Why?«

»I'm a certified fitness trainer. Until about a year ago I was employed at a fitness studio but then everything at college got crazier and crazier and I couldn't keep up with everything.«

»Do you miss it?«

»Yes, sometimes. But at this point in my life, I know what is my priority when it comes to my profession. When I was younger I wished that I would have a fitness studio of my own but that is on hold now.«

»Well, maybe one day you will have it if that is something you also want to achieve,« Morgan said encouragingly.

»You think that I could handle both? Being a surgeon and having a fitness studio?«

»Why not? I mean, I think that you would have to be present one hundred percent when it comes to being a surgeon. If you're a surgeon you have to make it a priority but having your own fitness studio … could be like a hobby I guess. You would be present there as much as you could, you would be more of a boss than anything else. It doesn't even have to be a big studio, just something small for a small circle of clients.«

Henry looked at her and smiled. She was the complete opposite of Jane. He thought about the fact that he left that job at the fitness studio because of Jane more or less.

»What? What are you smiling about?« Morgan asked.

»You thinking that way … It makes me think that I can really do it.«

»Why not? If you have the will and if that is your wish … Why wouldn't you try to make it a reality?«

»It sounds easier than it actually is.«

»Well, I think it's a great idea that can come true if you put your mind to it. If I had a wish like that I would definitely try it since I'm kind of an overachiever.«

»You know, I really admire you and I'm not saying this just because I like you or because I want to give a compliment to you. Through my studying, I read every single article that you wrote for medical journals by yourself or with other doctors. I really liked that one that you wrote with dr. Andrews. I don't even know where to start to write an article,« Henry said and Morgan felt really happy that he found her work interesting.

»Don't worry. You are working at a hospital just for a week. Once you will fall into all this rhythm, when you are going to assist surgery after surgery you will see that ideas for articles just kind of find you. That's how's with me. And if you want to write something together with another attending doctor you just have to present the idea to them and show initiative. Sometimes they agree to do it with you sometimes they don't. In the end, you can always write it just by yourself,« Morgan said and saw how Henry was listening to her carefully.

»But you are really publishing a lot,« he said.

»Well, in the last two years I really did write a lot. I assisted a lot of interesting surgeries and I also kind of wanted to get the first lead surgery when it comes to our generation of residents, I kind of hoped that maybe I can become Chief Resident but well … I had strong competition.«

»Dr. Browne?« Henry asked carefully not able to prevent that the remark that Jane made about Morgan wouldn't creep into his mind again.

»Yeah, but no amount of articles could help me when it comes to having Claire as an opponent.«

»Why?«

»Well, we are both amazing surgeons if you look at just our medical knowledge. We both have our own ideas, we are both creative at our work, we are good at diagnosing, and so on but … she has this ability to connect with people, she has this sense of empathy when she speaks to patients. I don't have that and I think that is something you can't learn. Either you have it in you or you don't.«

»Were you disappointed when you didn't get chosen for Chief Resident?« Henry asked since he had a feeling that it wasn't hard for Morgan to talk about it, she looked relaxed even though she was speaking of something that maybe she wasn't ok with.

»Of course I was, who wouldn't be? But that's how it is. There is always going to be someone better than you. You know, I never told her that but I do admire her and sometimes I envy her a little bit. Even if I try to be more like her I always kind of flop at it. Just today Melendez again exposed how I lack sympathy. He didn't say it directly but I know how to read between the lines.«

»We all have parts of ourselves that we would like to be better at and I think that's good because we have space for improvement. You know, I think that Claire sometimes wishes that she was more like you. I bet that this empathy of hers a lot of times kind of engulfs her in a negative way because she probably feels everything very personal,« Henry said and Morgan nodded.

»You're probably right.«

»And about Melendez … I think he's scary,« Henry said and Morgan laughed.

»Why do you say that?«

»Standing there assisting him in the OR, honestly I'm scared shitless even if I don't show it. The guy is just so good. Every move of his is derived with so much perfection and he makes it look so easy. And his questions … When I answer him, he always asks me _are you sure_? Like, don't ask me that because then I'm never sure of anything anymore,« Henry said laughing and rolling his eyes and Morgan laughed with him.

»You think that he is scary now? You should see him as a boss a few years ago, like when I and Claire were first-year residents. Back then he was even more arrogant. For example, if he ordered you something he expected that you do it and if you weren't successful he just gave that task to another resident right there in front of you so that you felt ashamed and guilty because you weren't able to do it or because you weren't good enough to do it. Claire told me that one time she didn't get consent from the patient that needed surgery. He was scared and she wanted that he talks with a psychiatrist, so the surgery would have to be postponed to the next day. She tried to convince Melendez that her approach of dealing with the patient is the right one, that a patient has to be calm and positive about the surgery and he just turned toward Kalu that back then still worked with us, and coldly ordered him to do it and of course Kalu got the consent.«

»How?«

»Well, Kalu just told the patient that if he doesn't agree to the surgery he will have to have it in another hospital.«

»And Melendez was ok with that?«

»Back then he really didn't think about the ways residents handled the situations as long as he got results. He was waaay more arrogant than he is today.«

»So I see that Browne and Melendez weren't always on the same page?« Henry asked curiously.

»No. He actually threw her off his service in her second year, can you imagine?«

»Seriously?«

»Yes, she always kind of pushed his buttons,« Morgan said laughing.

»Well, I guess he likes that since he fell for her.«

»Yes, she still pushes his buttons sometimes, tries to win him over but now, in comparison to the first or second year at the hospital she usually succeeds. Claire has him wrapped around her little finger, more than Melendez let himself believe. I think she mastered him you know. At knowing when she has the chance to win and when he will say no to her and her ideas. She just knows how to pick the right moment and the right patient. It's quite an impressive ability she has. I think that even Melendez doesn't know how she does it.«

»Does he actually say no to her?«

»Yes, of course. He really knows how to be objective even though he loves her like an idiot. Him saying no to her ideas was a problem at the beginning of their relationship. She had big problems with handling it but I am proud to say that I helped her get through it.«

»I can imagine it's hard for them to handle this superior-subordinate work relationship,« Henry said and Morgan chuckled.

»What's funny?«

»It's just … Honestly, I think they are very good at handling it. I don't even know if they still see themselves as a subordinate and a superior. I think that they just brought their private partnership dynamic to the work environment in a way that they just look at their disagreements as a simple debate and not as much as who is right or wrong. But I must say, he really changed because of her. He learned how to listen more to others and how to control his big ego. He's more humane,« Morgan said and laughed.

»Well, he's still scary for me. And I'm usually interested in other's people private lives but one day you have to tell me how everything happened between them,« Henry said genuinely interested thinking that Claire and his boss were lucky that everything worked out for them the way it did.

»I don't even know if I have the whole story to tell,« Morgan said with a smile on her face.

»How's that?«

»Claire is very careful, restrained in sharing her relationship with me. But I must say that in the last few weeks she opened up to me more so I am really happy about that.«

»Well, Melendez is your boss. Maybe he also asked her to not tell the details of their relationship. I think it's understandable. Melendez probably still wants some privacy for them even though you and Claire are close friends.«

»Yes, I think you're right,« Morgan said and thought that for a long time that wasn't the only reason for Claire being careful.

She again remembered the favouritism complaint she made but quickly pushed the thought away.

Morgan and Henry were sipping the last sips of their drinks, with already a clean table and Henry mustered the courage to ask her about what he decided to ask her this morning when he invited her for lunch.

»Morgan … that Gala that the hospital is hosting on Saturday. What kind of an even is it? Is it big? I got an invitation and I have no idea how it looks like.«

»If you like to dress up nice, drink expensive drinks, eat finger food that doesn't satisfy your hunger, it's a perfect event for you,« Morgan said smiling and Henry laughed because of her last remark.

»Are you planning to go?« Henry asked.

»Yes, of course. It's quite an event. I look forward to it,« Morgan answered and then there was silence between them.

Morgan looked at Henry that was staring at his empty glass.

»What is it White?« she said thinking about what is going through his mind and she actually had an idea of what is going on in there.

»I would want to go too but … I don't want to go alone. I mean I know once I'm there I'm going to meet people and that all of you are going to be there but I would feel better if …«

»…if I was your date?« Morgan stopped him and he stayed serious.

»Is that too much for me to ask? You can say no if it's too much. I know we said we will take things slow and I know that coming with someone to a Gala may give an impression that you and I are…«

»We can go together to the Gala. I would love that,« Morgan said thinking that now she will have to tell Claire about him.

»Are you sure you're ok with it?«

»Yes, don't worry. I think we are going to have a great time,« Morgan said and felt really calm about it.

Screw slow, she thought at that moment. She felt good around him. Better than in a long time. Why would she say no to one of the few good things that she had in her life right now?

As the waiter brought the bill Morgan took it from his hands and started searching for her wallet.

»What are you doing?« Henry asked.

»I'm going to pay for this lunch. I just need to find my…«

»No, no, no, you are not paying for lunch,« he said and snatched the bill from her hands.

»Hey, give it back!« Morgan said and Henry shook his head.

»You're not paying as long as I'm here,« he said and gave the money to the waiter.

»You paid yesterday. Plus, I could pay five lunches like this and it still wouldn't be as much as you paid yesterday.«

»Stop arguing with me about this. I'm old school.«

»You know that I have a job, my own salary. I can afford to pay for our lunch.«

»I know. It's not about if you can or can't. I know you can but I don't want you to,« Henry answered and Morgan rolled her eyes.

»Fine, this time you won,« Morgan said and Henry smiled at his victory.

As Morgan and Henry were going toward their cars Henry stopped next to her as she opened the car door.

»Listen, this felt like a second date, didn't it?« he asked and Morgan saw how his eyes sparkled.

»Yes, we can say it was a second date.«

»Ok. Sooo could I get a hug after this second date? You know in return for me paying and all,« Henry said and Morgan laughed.

»Aaa, now you are trying to guilt-trip me?« Morgan said smiling and Henry didn't wait for her answer about the hug.

He stepped closer and leaned down to hug her. Morgan wrapped her arms around his shoulders without hesitation and enjoyed how close to him he held her. This wasn't just a quick hug like between friends oR colleagues. He held her close and didn't let her go immediately. She could smell the perfume on him and feel his warm hands through her T-shirt. And suddenly she realized that she finally got a taste of those wide shoulders of his. If only Claire could see her now, Morgan thought and smiled at the thought. They slowly let go of each other and at that moment when he let go of her she looked up at him realizing how much taller he was than her. She wasn't short for a woman but she felt short next to him. She liked the feeling.

»You know, I hope that you know how to dance because on Saturday I won't let go of you,« Henry whispered looking into her eyes, and Morgan got lost for a minute.

»I know how to dance but I will need new dancing shoes,« she said and realized that she didn't even think yet about what she's gonna wear.

»God, you're right. I need new everything. Tux, shoes. Damn, I will have to take care of that this week,« Henry suddenly said.

Morgan smiled at the thought of him in a tux. He's going to be like a freaking James Bond.

»What are you doing tomorrow?« she asked him and she herself was surprised at her question but somehow a plan formed in her mind.

»Tomorrow? Ummm, nothing really. I don't have any plans,« he answered and looked at her curiously.

»Send me your address. I'll pick you up at, let's say at noon?« Morgan said and Henry smiled.

»Ok … Noon is fine. Where are you taking me?«

»To get you a tux and new dancing shoes for me,« Morgan said and Henry immediately got excited.

»Shopping?« he asked.

»Yes, shopping.«

»I don't like shopping. I'm going to be a terrible shopping partner,« he said laughing.

»You will like shopping with me. I will make it interesting,« Morgan said and Henry didn't doubt that they will have a great time.

»Fine, I'll send you the address,« Henry said and Morgan got into her car.

»See you tomorrow then,« she said looking up at him from her seat.

»See you tomorrow,« he said back, closed her door, and went toward his car with a smile on his face.

***

Claire was sitting at the dining room table across Neil holding for her stomach looking at her empty plate.

»I am so full, I can't move,« she said and Neil smiled.

»Me too. I haven't eaten all day and now I ate like a madman.«

»It's your fault. You are way too good at cooking. We are going to get fat if you are going to always cook like this.«

»We didn't work out at all this week. We have to change that.«

»I don't know about you but I had quite an exercise today,« Claire said and Neil laughed.

»That doesn't count.«

»What do you mean it doesn't count? You burn calories. Sex counts,« Claire said and laughed back.

»If you say so. I don't mind exercise like that,« Neil said with a grin on his face.

Claire stood up from the table and Neil followed her. It was interesting how they got used to living together. They were like one person. What she liked the most is that they never argued who is gonna do a certain thing at home. They did everything together or the necessary work in the apartment was done by the one who had the time to do it. She had to admit that Neil was spending way more time at the kitchen, the man definitely has credits for that but otherwise, they really shared their house chores. After tidying up the kitchen Claire leaned against the kitchen counter and sighed.

»That was one big, desperate sigh for a Friday,« Neil said, stood in front of her and put his hands on her hips.

»I really just want to throw myself on the couch, turn on the television, and not do anything. I'm tired. It was a crazy week,« she admitted.

»So? Do it. I still have to do some paperwork but then I will join you and we can be lazy together, what do you say?«

»Neil, look at the apartment. We didn't clean anything for almost two weeks since we are just focused on work lately. Dust is everywhere. And I need to vacuum and wipe the floor. There is also a ton of our clothes to iron but I am definitely not doing that today. You know, my life would be so much easier if you haven't wear shirts,« Claire said.

»Oh, so ironing my shirts is a problem but you don't mind when I wear them, hm?« Neil said teasingly and Claire's eyes traveled over his upper body looking at the white shirt that fitted him so nicely and she had to agree that he's right, she really didn't mind him wearing shirts because he really was a sight for sore eyes dressed in them.

»If only it wouldn't be soooo time-consuming,« she said complainingly.

»Listen, we can do all of this together tomorrow. You should rest if you're tired,« Neil suggested.

»No. You do your paperwork today, I will take care of the apartment, and this way we will really have the weekend just for ourselves knowing that you have everything prepared for work and that we have a clean apartment that awaits us when we come back tired from that shopping on which you are planning to take me tomorrow.«

»I like the sound of that,« Neil said and leaned down to her to give her a quick kiss.

»Well, then let's get right into it,« Claire said and left the kitchen to go change into something more comfortable.

And just like Claire said, so it was. The dining table suddenly turned into Neil's office. Neil had a small office in the apartment where he could go when he did things for work but he never worked in that room. He preferred it when he was in the same room with Claire. Even if they shared their space, they gave each other enough room not to bother one another as they were working, each of them on their own thing, but the presence of one another was always soothing for them. And honestly, Neil didn't mind if Claire sometimes started sneaking around him trying to distract him. A kiss on the cheek, an innocent touch on his shoulder when she was passing by to go for a glass of water or when she was watering the flowers that she had all over the apartment, and what he liked the most is when she just randomly leaned toward his ear and whispered to him that she loves him. No matter how many times she did that, he was always surprised and he always felt the same amount of happiness and joy when she did that. Moreover, it wasn't just her who resorted to these little gestures of affection. He did it too. Only that he sometimes exaggerated and then all of a sudden they landed in bed and in the end did absolutely nothing of what they should actually do.

It was almost seven o'clock in the evening when Claire was finally done with everything. She looked around the apartment and smiled to herself. Everything was shining and the air smelled of lavender, which she adored. She looked toward Neil, who still looked busy and completely focused on his work. She walked toward the dining room and hugged him from behind.

»Do you still have a lot to do?« she asked and Neil covered her crossed hands that were resting on his chest with his.

»Not really, about half an hour and I think I'm going to be done,« he answered and Claire stepped to his side and sat on his lap wrapping her arm around his shoulders.

Neil looked at her, his right hand around her waist and his left one resting on her thigh.

»You're done already?« he questioned and looked around the apartment.

»Yup.«

»You're fast. I wish this paperwork could be done faster. Jesus. I swear, I have a feeling I spend more time behind the computer than in the operating room,« Neil said frustrated.

»I have a question for you,« Claire said trying to get his attention again.

»What?« he said curiously and looked at her.

»I had mind-blowing sex today with someone in the on-call room. Do I have to take care of the paperwork when it comes to those activities since it happened during work hours?« Claire said seriously and Neil thought for a second what to answer.

»Sex in the on-call room, you say? Well, dr. Browne, I didn't know you have it in you. Who was the lucky guy?«

»My boss,« she said back and loved the smile that appeared on Neil's face.

»Then you definitely have to do paperwork. I think that your boss would love to read what you will write about your … moment together.«

»You think?«

»Mhm,« Neil murmured and Claire smiled at him already thinking if she will actually write it.

»Speaking of paperwork and writing, how is that article of yours going?« Neil asked suddenly.

»Nowhere. I did a lot last week but this week I just managed to read two pages of some article that I found and that could maybe help me with understanding my case better. After reading those two pages this morning you came and interrupted me with your charm and dirty flirting so I ended up all worked up with you in that on-call room.«

»So it's my fault that you are not getting anything done?« Neil asked laughing.

»Of course it's your fault, who else's? But well, the article can wait if that means I can be with you. Especially like today,« Claire said smiling, going through Neil's hair with her fingers.

»I'm glad that you liked our time in the on-call room, glad that you think it was worth breaking the rule that you sat for us.«

»You know, I think that you are more happy because of me finally giving up and breaking the rule than because of you actually getting some,« Claire said and Neil laughed.

»It's an achievement. You were so strict with no PDA and everything.«

»Hey, don't you think now that you are going to be able to kiss me anytime you want and in front of everybody. Don't get too excited.«

»You like to torture me,« he said and pouted with his lips.

»You think that this is torture? You have no idea what torture can look like,« Claire said.

»Mmmm, what do you have in mind?«

»I'll show you one day,« she whispered and when he leaned in to kiss her she got up from his lap.«

»Where are you going?«

»To shower. You ... finish this paperwork so I will have you all to myself then.«

»As you command Chief,« he said playfully and watched how Claire went toward the bathroom.

Neil stared wearily at the computer screen. His eyes were burning and he didn’t have much willpower anymore, but he wanted to finish what he started. Suddenly today's situation with Serena and Josh returned to his mind. He thought about the fact that he won't be in the hospital all weekend and hoped that Josh is going to stay calm. Neil looked at his phone and thought if he should ring her. He decided to make the call because otherwise, he will think about Serena and Josh all weekend. He picked up the phone and after just three rings she picked up.

»Neil, hey. What's up?«

»Hey Audrey,« Neil greeted her.

»You've been home for what? Three hours and you already miss the hospital or something?«

»No but I do have something on my mind that doesn't let me enjoy my free weekend.«

»What is it?«

»You are in the hospital the whole weekend, right?« Neil asked.

»Yeah, I'm on my 36-hour shift, so …«

»You know that operation that I have on Monday?«

»Yes, appendix surgery on Serena.«

»Can you keep an eye on her? Not just on her health but … Her husband upset her today because he's scared of the surgery. We managed to calm the situation down, I think it's going to be ok but just in case.«

»Ok, so I need to actually keep an eye on the husband,« Audrey said and laughed.

»Honestly, yes. I don't want that he upsets her again.«

»Neil Melendez, what happened to you? Since when are you are worried about your patient's personal dilemmas and couple brawls?« Audrey said to the phone.

»I just want that Serena is calm and confident about the surgery on Monday. That's important for her and the baby.«

»You know you sound like Claire, right?« Audrey said and Neil knew that she was smiling as she said that.

»I don't,« Neil said knowing that Claire and her way of dealing with patients did reflect in him.

»You just keep telling that to yourself. Don't worry. I will keep an eye on them and you enjoy your weekend. You and Claire hadn't had a weekend off for a long time.«

»You are right about that,« Neil said and saw that Claire came back and threw herself on the couch.

»Well, say hi to Claire and see you on Monday,« Audrey said.

»Thanks, see you.«

»Oh and Neil. I'm happy you called me. It's been a while since you asked me to help you with something,« Audrey said and Neil knew she's right.

He didn't ask often for her help anymore. In the past, they often worked on surgical plans together even if just one of them operated on a patient but in the past few months Neil kind of distanced himself from her. He knew that Audrey noticed that he's acting differently with her but until now she didn't call him out on it. He knew that sooner or later she will ask him what is going on and honestly, he didn't know how he will answer her. He can't just admit that he has problems with her being Chief of Surgery when he gave the position up to her willingly.

»Yeah, sure. Well, have a great and calm weekend at the hospital,« he just blurted out to her in response to her words not really knowing what to say.

»Good night Neil.«

»Please don't tell me that you or both of us got called in,« Claire suddenly said looking at him from the couch as he put the phone down on the table.

»No, no. I just called Audrey asking her to keep an eye on Serena and Josh,« Neil said and typed the last comma happy that he is finally done with work.

»You did?« Claire asked and smiled.

»Why is everybody acting like that's something they are not used to with me?« Neil said looking at Claire closing the computer.

»Well, that's more what I would do,« Claire said and laughed.

»Well, I did tell you that you make me a better surgeon and a better person. I guess that I'm a little bit of a soft touch since I'm with you,« Neil admitted and Claire smiled at him knowing they both influence each other.

She also changed and became more firm and confident next to him. Sometimes she also caught herself having a little bit of arrogance in her, which definitely wasn't there at the beginning of her career.

Neil got up from the table and went to the fridge.

»You know, Josh said something today when we talked. I can't get it off my mind,« Neil said suddenly opening the fridge.

Claire tensed up thinking what is it that Josh said that made Neil think about it. She was wondering if Neil will start a conversation about kids. What else could it be? He didn't talk with Josh about football, that's for sure. They talked about the baby.

»What did you talk about?« she said her mind all over the place already thinking how she should tell him that she wants to wait a little bit more with having kids without disappointing him.

»Do you want a glass of wine?« he suddenly asked her looking at her and Claire nodded.

He poured her a glass of wine, a shot of whiskey to himself and joined her on the couch giving her the glass.

»Josh wanted to know what I would do if I was in his shoes. I said that I would push my fear aside and trust my colleagues to take good care of my pregnant girlfriend,« Neil said looking at Claire and she just gave him a little smile feeling that her heart started to beat faster in nervousness.

»Josh was surprised that I wouldn't be the one operating. He thought that I would want to operate. I told him that you can't operate if you are too close to the case.«

Claire didn't know exactly what he was trying to tell her.

»Well, I think it would be the right decision to let someone else operate. But … I'm not sure what you're trying to tell me,« she admitted and somehow felt that the conversation about kids won't happen just yet.

»It made me think that … that you did.«

»Did what?«

»You operated on me. You managed to stay calm and focused, you pushed your feelings aside and you operated on someone that you … love,« Neil said and Claire suddenly realized what he is trying to tell her.

»Well, honestly, I didn't have a choice,« she whispered thinking back to that time with Audrey when they were both fighting for his life.

»How did you feel?« Neil whispered.

Claire took a sip of the wine he gave her and sighed.

»Thinking about it I have a feeling that I remember every detail and on the other hand everything is a blur. I mean, the first surgery happened so fast that I barely remember it. But I remember everything that happened later. Surgery not being successful, lab results that were showing your numbers are bad, thinking if I should have told you I love you before we have put you into a coma, regretting that I didn't tell you since we weren't sure you are going to survive. That's what I remember the most. I think that in the OR I pushed my feelings aside so that I wasn't even aware of them but after … they came back like a flood,« Claire said her voice trembling and Neil stayed quiet taking her hand in his.

»I was sitting outside the hospital. I remember how cold I felt. I didn't know if it's the temperature outside or my nerves. Probably latter. I … I was sad, I felt like I'm useless not being able to save you but I also felt …«

»What?« Neil whispered.

»… angry.«

»At me?«

»No, of course not. I …« Claire started to speak knowing that she never told him what she was trying to tell him now.

»I had a feeling that everybody just … they weren't there when you needed them.«

Neil looked at her confused.

»What do you mean?«

»I know that the hospital was packed, I know that it was chaos but … people, our colleagues that you work with every day didn't even know what happened to you. It just didn't feel right. I had a feeling that just me and Audrey were doing something to save you, you know. I was angry because I knew that if any one of them would be in your state you would be there for them.«

»Claire, everybody was doing their job. And me having you and Audrey … well, I couldn't have a better team,« Neil said and smiled at her.

»Yeah, but … it just didn't feel right. I … I was sitting at that bench outside thinking that I have to come up with something. I knew that Lim is doing the same in her office. When that idea of mine hit me I ran like hell to tell her. We had a surgical plan ready on our table in just about half an hour. We knew that we have to operate as soon as possible before your condition gets even worse. We went to talk with Glassman and he found a million reasons why the surgery isn't a good idea. He also said that we can't get your consent since you were in an induced coma from which it wasn't smart that we would wake you up again. Can you believe it? He was worried about paperwork. You know I screamed at him?«

»You screamed at Glassman?« Neil said and smiled.

»Yeah, it got to the point that Lim herself send me out of his office to cool off. At that moment my feelings and fears were already all over the place,« Claire said rolling her eyes.

»I can't believe that we never talked about this. How everything went down,« Neil said.

»Well, I guess that it was too soon to talk about it? We had other things to talk about,« Claire said.

»So, what happened after you were sent out? Did Audrey convince him to look another way when it comes to paperwork?«

»You forgot about it, haven't you?« Claire suddenly asked and Neil looked at her confused.

»Forgot what?«

»Audrey was and probably still is your healthcare proxy,« Claire said and Neil's mouth slightly opened in surprise.

»Shit, I did forget about that. I made her my healthcare proxy when we were dating. I'm hers too if she didn't change it.«

»Yeah. She told Glassman that it's her call and that we don't need your consent. That she will choose what she thinks it's best for you and she somehow really trusted my idea to work.«

»Glassman wasn't happy about it, right? He doesn't like it when other people make a decision for well … other people.«

»No, he wasn't thrilled. He thought it was a stupid decision to operate and that there are a lot of things that can go wrong. He said it's too risky and that if we manage to keep you alive and God forbids, in a vegetative state that you will hate us forever. We didn't listen. When Lim came out of his office she quickly told me everything and we were in the operating room with you in just less than an hour.«

»It worked. Honestly, you two did pull off a miracle with me,« Neil said taking a deep breath.

»Well, call it however you want. Miracle, actual knowledge and skill, all of those things together. I was just beyond happy it worked. So was Lim. After the surgery when you were in the ICU we were both sitting in front of your bed, drinking. Of course, we weren't on call at that moment,« Claire said with a small smile on her lips.

»I can imagine you two doing that. Especially Audrey. She probably had trouble just stopping at one glass,« Neil said and they both laughed.

»Yeah, she said that she just wants to get drunk after what we pulled off.«

»I have to talk with her about that healthcare proxy thing. I completely forgot about it. I need to change that,« Neil suddenly said.

»Change it?« Claire said.

»Yes, you are going to be my healthcare proxy from Monday.«

»What?« Claire said.

»What? Who else then?«

»But … I'm … I mean … dr. Lim is well … dr. Lim. She has the experience, she's the Chief of Surgery. I don't mind if she stays your healthcare proxy.«

»I don't care if she has more experience and if she's the Chief of Surgery. I didn't make her my healthcare proxy because of that. I gave her that responsibility back then because she was my girlfriend. And now I want that you have that power.«

»Ok,« Claire said insecurely.

»Claire, you were the one who came up with the idea of how to save me. You saved me. Without your idea, nothing would happen. And I know that you will always listen to senior doctors what they have to say if you are going to be faced with a difficult situation. But in the end, I want that it's your call when it comes to me and my health,« Neil said seriously and Claire nodded.

»Ok, if that's what you want. I will make you my healthcare proxy too. But … let's just stop talking about this. Nothing will happen to us.«

»Of course not,« Neil said confidently and pulled her into his embrace.

Claire lifted her legs to the couch, lay down and Neil followed her squeezing her back to his chest.

»New nightgown?« he asked.

»You noticed …« she said smiling.

»I notice things like this.«

»You like it?«

»I like more of everything that's underneath it,« Neil whispered and kissed her hair and Claire giggled.

»Of course I like it,« he then said more seriously touching the silky material of Claire's nightgown under his fingers.

»Oh, there's something I wanted to ask you but I forgot,« Neil suddenly said and perked up on his elbow and Claire turned around to her other side to face him.

»Jane Carter,« Neil said.

»What about her?«

»Do you know how she's doing? Did you manage to check up on her? You know being the Chief Resident and everything,« Neil said and smiled.

»Yes, I did speak to her attending. He said that she's kind of unsure of herself. She needs a lot of instructions, doesn't really know how to fit in but that he thinks this is just the pressure of the first week,« Claire said.

»Or she just doesn't have what it takes,« Neil said.

»Why did you ask me this?«

»It's just … I saw her talking to Henry. The conversation seemed heated, like if they were arguing about something.«

Claire thought about Neil's words for a moment.

»It's probably nothing. They were probably arguing about who is gonna do scout work. First-year residents fight all the time. We did too. I'm sure it was nothing serious,« Claire said and Neil nodded.

»You're probably right.«

»Well, I'm glad that I got White on my team,« Neil suddenly said and Claire laughed.

»Since when? You said to me and Morgan that you don't like him. What changed?«

»He is not opening the doors for you anymore,« Neil said and smiled.

»You were jealous of him, admit it.«

»I wasn't!«

»Yes, you were. I like it when you are a little bit jealous,« Claire admitted and Neil rolled his eyes.

»I wasn't jealous,« Neil insisted.

»How couldn't you be? He's soo tall, then those wide shoulders of his, that perfect jawline … for Christ's Sake, the man is like that guy that plays Superman,« Claire said faking a dreamy gaze pretending she will probably faint because of how handsome she thought Henry was.

»Seriously, I don't see the appeal as you do when it comes to him. Maybe you should show this new sexy nightgown to him,« Neil said and Claire laughed.

»Don't be stupid. You know that you're my one and only. And even if White would see my nightgown, that is the only thing that he would see. What's underneath it is off-limits. Except for you of course,« Claire said and saw the satisfied look on Neil's face.

»You really know how to get yourself out of trouble.«

»Yes, I do, don't I? But c'mon, you can't say that Henry isn't handsome. Just like people think that you are attractive, they think that Henry is an attractive man. Nothing wrong with that but I really hope that Morgan is the one that will open her eyes and see that he is worth taking a chance on,« Claire said and Neil again felt guilty for keeping Morgan's secret from her.

»Well, we'll see. But like I said. I'm glad we have White on our team. Hearing other attendings complaining about residents … I'm glad I don't have problems like that. White is smart, has a lot of knowledge, thinks fast and most importantly, he listens to me. I think he has a lot of potential,« Neil said and Claire nodded.

»I think so too. Having a talented team with which you get along is important.«

»Yes, it really is … God, you smell so nice. I'm also gonna go take a shower and then we can watch a movie together,« Neil suggested and Claire nodded in agreement.

»Go, I'll be here waiting for you in my sexy new nightgown,« she said and that brought a big smile to Neil's face.

When Neil came back to the living room he saw Claire lying on the couch just as he left her, she turned the television on but she fell asleep. She really must be really tired, he thought to himself knowing that it's barely a few minutes past eight. He stepped into the living room and turned the television off. He gently and slowly lifted her into his arms and started to move toward the bedroom.

»What are you doing?« she heard her sleepy voice as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

»Taking you to bed.«

»No, we are finally alone and free of work. I don't want to sleep,« Claire protested not opening her eyes and Neil smiled.

»We are going to have plenty of time to spend together in the next two days. Plus, I'm going to bed too so I am going to be right there next to you.«

Neil wasn't tired yet, but he knew that it wouldn't do him any harm if he caught up on some sleeping. He knew that when he will close his eyes sleep will come for him. He laid Claire down on his side of the bed.

»C'mon, scoot over,« he said and started getting to bed himself.

»I'm so tired,« Claire said again her head resting on Neil's chest.

»Sleep babe,« he whispered and gave her a kiss on the head.

»I love you,« she whispered.

»Love you too,« Neil whispered back with a smile on his face loving the sound of those three words that slipped from her lips.

***

It was ten o'clock in the evening. Jane was sitting alone behind the bar counter with a third drink in her hand. She felt miserable, lonely, angry, all at the same time. Angry at Henry. She made a mistake. Why couldn't he just forgive her, gave her a chance to earn back his trust? And how could he just move on so quickly? She missed him. And she hated that she felt this way. She didn't want to miss him. Not after he said no to her cries and pleas over and over again. She could see it in his eyes. The resentment with which he looked at her. She no longer received a warm, loving look from him with which he used to look at her when they were together.

»Jane?« she suddenly heard, looked to her left side, and immediately recognized him.

»Matthew, now this is a coincidence,« she said and smiled at him.

»Right? Small world. Can I join you? Buy you the next drink?« he asked and showed with her hand to the seat next to her.

»Yes, of course,« Jane answered, brought her glass to her lips, and drank the last sip of her drink while her eyes roamed over the man in front of her to get a better look at him.

He was somewhere between thirty-five and forty years old. He was tall, athletic. He had dark brown hair that was cut into a classic men's hairstyle. He was carrying a stubble beard look. He wore clothes that were screaming expensive already from afar.

»So, why are you here alone on Friday night?« Matthew asked her, quickly looking at the waiter showing him to bring them another round.

»I could ask you the same question,« Jane said and smiled at him.

»Well, I was here with a friend. He had to leave so here I am. I'm glad I saw you though,« he said and looked at her.

Jane couldn't overlook his wandering gaze. His gaze traveled from her face to her cleavage, lingered there for a moment and then he looked at her eyes again.

»I can see by your curious gaze that just lingered at the wrong place, that you're glad to see me,« Jane bluntly said, flashing toward him with her eyelashes.

»You can't blame a man for looking,« he said taking another sip of his scotch.

Matthew knew he will succeed. The despair of the woman next to him was so obvious that he found her boring to begin with. He was sure that she will willingly go with him as soon as he will give the initiative. He didn't like how easy she is making everything for him because he preferred when women resisted him, screamed in horror, cried, begged him to stop. But well, this time he has a bigger mission than just rapping a random woman that fits his profile and taking her life. This, what he was doing right now, starting to execute his plan, was bigger than that. Jane being so desperate made her a perfect target in this case. He needed someone that will trust him, someone, that he could manipulate with ease. Jane really was perfect. Poor thing. He just hoped that she will at least be a good fuck since he has to get involved with her to get from her what he needs.

»You didn't answer me,« he said.

»I'm drowning my sorrows,« Jane said bringing her glass to his lips.

»And what was it that put you in this desperate and sulky mood?«

»Boyfriend … well, ex-boyfriend to be exact,« Jane answered and she could feel that the alcohol in her body was starting to take over her.

»What did he do?«

»Dumped me and immediately found someone else. That blonde bitch. I can't stand her,« she whispered already eagerly taking the drink that was just brought by the waiter and Matthew smiled to himself.

Blonde bitch, he thought. That's how he would describe her too. Funny how he found Jane. When he saw Morgan, his blondie, as he called her in his mind, going on the date with that guy yesterday night, he didn't know who the guy was. He did some research and soon enough he found Jane through him. He was very satisfied with how everything is turning out. What is a better target than a dumped, sad, desperate, and angry ex-girlfriend? It really can't get better than that. When he found Jane he knew that through her he can gain information from the first hand.

»It's his loss really … and my gain,« Matthew said looking at her.

»Your gain? How's that?« Jane said leaning closer to him.

»Well … now you are going to drink the last sip of this drink in front of you and then I'm going to take you to my apartment,« he said seriously looking at her lips and drinking the last sip of the scotch in his glass.

»And what makes you think that I will go with you?«

»Because you are sitting here, alone on Friday night, being angry with you ex-boyfriend that clearly moved on, and even though you want to play hard to get with me, deep down you want to come with me and just forget about your sorrows,« he said and Jane rolled her eyes.

»Are you a psychiatrist or something?« Jane said and smiled.

»No. Just someone that was at the same miserable place in the past as you are right now.«

Jane got serious looking at Matthew that slowly started getting up from his chair. As he was standing in front of her he slowly stepped forward that one more step that was between them and leaned down to her ear.

»I will make it worth your while,« he whispered and Jane closed her eyes as her body shivered at the sound of his rusty voice.

She looked at him as he threw money on the bar counter.

»So, Jane. What's it gonna be, hm?«

»I don't even know you,« she said and smiled at him.

»You scared? I don't bite. Well, I can if you want me to but I will figure out what you want once I get you into my bed.«

Jane was intrigued by the raw confidence she saw in this man.

»Fuck this, why the hell not … It's not like you're a serial killer,« she said and Matthew just slightly smiled at her remark.

When Jane stepped into his apartment she looked around. The apartment was modern, the rent probably costs him three of her paychecks. It was minimalistic, squeaky clean. Almost as if no one actually lived in it. The only two things that made the apartment more personal were the two potted plants and a framed photo that was on the shelf in the living room.

»This apartment probably costs you a fortune every month,« Jane said looking around.

»The apartment is mine. I inherited it.«

»Lucky you,« Jane whispered and looked at him.

»Want one more drink?« he asked her moving toward the kitchen.

»Yes, please,« Jane said moving toward the living room and she looked at the one photo that he had on the shelf.

He slowly came to stand next to her giving her a glass of wine.

»Who's this?« Jane asked bringing the glass to her lips.

»My sister.«

»She's beautiful.«

»Was beautiful,« Matthew corrected her and Jane froze.

»I'm sorry, I didn't know.«

»How could you know? You barely know me. I could be a serial killer and you wouldn't know.«

»Very funny,« Jane said and laughed not knowing that Matthew's remark was far from being a joke.

»But seriously, she's so young. Was it an accident?«

»No. Suicide,« Matthew said and he felt that he is starting to get irritated with where the conversation was going.

»God … I really am sorry,« Jane said and saw how Matthew put down his glass.

He took her glass from her hand as well and put it on the table. Jane looked up at him as he took a step forward making her step back as well. She suddenly felt hitting a wall with her back. He leaned his hands against the wall on both sides of her head and Jane lifted her head to look at him.

»You know, I didn't bring you here to chat,« he said and Jane again felt a wave of excitement at the tone of his voice.

»No? Then why did you bring me here for?« she whispered her breath hitching.

»To do this,« he said and at the next moment, his lips were on hers.

If only Jane knew that she found herself in a lion's den.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! 😍  
> What did you like the most about this chapter? Please let me know by leaving a comment. 🤗❤️


	19. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the nightmare disturbs Neil's sleep, he goes for a morning run and calls a very special person. He and Claire are getting ready for their shopping spree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> I must say that the first part of this chapter was really hard to write for me and I think it's also going to be hard to read. I had to stop several times while I was writing because it was so damn hard for me. But well, I am an emotional person. Certain things really touch me and move me to my core. That's just how it is with me. I cried like a baby during the finale of season three and now again I had tears in my eyes while I was writing this. It will probably make you emotional too since I know, at least for all of you, that are always leaving comments under my chapters, that you are very attached to Neil and Claire and their love. I had to rewatch some scenes from the last two episodes of season three to get the dialogs right and God … it was like someone was stabbing me in my heart over and over again. But I did it because well … This was the idea I wanted to bring to life. Some of this one particular scene is like in the series (dialogs) but then it goes in my direction, how I imagine it. In one of the previous chapters, I mentioned that Neil sometimes has nightmares. This is it. I will throw you into one of his nightmares in which he will relive his emotions from the time of the earthquake and if you are going to get emotional just keep in mind that he is fine. He is fine in our hearts, minds, and stories that we write or read here in this amazingly talented community of writers and dedicated readers. I think that this particular scene will make us appreciate the love between Neil and Claire even more. ❤️
> 
> I find it silly how a little bit of Limlendez also crept into this chapter. I didn't plan it at first at all but somehow it just felt right to do it. I am a Melendaire person all the way but I think that what Neil and Audrey had was also a great storyline. I think that the love between Neil and Claire and then Neil and Audrey are so different that you can't even compare them. Both of them are special in their own way and that is why I never want to get into a war with a Limlendez fan. Because we shouldn't forget that we do have someone in common. Someone very important. Neil. 😊
> 
> I hope that after shaking you up with the first part of the chapter I will make it up to you with the rest of it and again put you into a mood full of idiotic happiness. I really put a lot of effort into this chapter, I wanted that it feels real and that it stirs your emotions, so it would mean the world to me if you leave a comment with your opinion about the chapter. 🤗
> 
> Oh, and I think you will looove a new character that shows up in this chapter. 😍
> 
> I wish you a pleasant read!
> 
> Sarah

_He was so relieved that Marta was ok. Performing an operation in such conditions when all around them was chaos due to the earthquake and its consequences was not easy. Now that Marta was already lying on the bed and they were trying to get her to the ambulance, he was glad to have Claire by his side. Without her, her ideas, and talent, he would not have succeeded this time. He has to tell her that._

_»Marta?« Neil suddenly heard Noreen calling to get her wife's attention and he saw that Marta started to wake up._

_»Can you squeeze Noreen's hand?« Claire asked her and they all looked at Marta with anticipation in their eyes looking at her hand._

_When they saw how Marta squeezed the hand of her wife they all felt like a huge rock lifted up from their chests and Neil couldn't hold back a smile._

_»Let's get you to the hospital,« Claire said and they again started moving._

_»You two, free beer for life,« Marta suddenly said and Neil laughed at her remark noticing at the corner of his eye that Claire smiled too._

_That's when it hit. Again._

_»Aftershock,« Claire said and they all tried to stay on their feet, maintain balance and at the same time protect Marta from falling off the bed._

_»Ok, get her out of here,« Neil suddenly said when the aftershock calmed down getting more and more worried about the whole situation and Marta that really needed to get to the hospital after a surgery she just had._

_As paramedics took Marta to the ambulance he and Claire were left behind._

_»That was a big one,« he heard Clare that was standing behind him and that's when he felt it._

_A feeling of nausea that suddenly came out of nowhere. It embraced his body and he had a feeling like if someone squeezed his stomach and all of a sudden his body reacted to nausea that passed through him, and the very next moment he tasted the acidic liquid in his throat and mouth, which he vomited on the floor._

_»Ou, are you ok?« he suddenly heard Claire and felt her hand on his back._

_»Yeah, just a little … little motion …«_

_His legs gave in, he was suddenly falling to the ground and his mind went blank. The next moment he gained consciousness he woke up in a moving ambulance with Claire by his side. As they quarreled about his symptoms for a minute he finally gave in and relaxed back into the bed with a small smile forming on his lips. She was so stubborn. It was pointless to argue with her. When she put her mind to something there was nothing that could convince her otherwise. She will probably put him through every single test there is when they get to the hospital. He was right. She did just that. She drove him in a wheelchair from room to room ignoring all of his remarks on how all that she is doing is unnecessary because he feels fine. He did feel fine. Until the moment when she noticed that he is confused, mixing words while they were having a conversation. She demanded that he has to move his gown to show her his abdomen and that was the moment when they realized he's bleeding internally. That's when it hit him. The fear. He hated the feeling. He just wanted to return to do his job. Treating patients. But he couldn't because now he was a patient himself. Everything was happening so fast. Audrey and Claire discussing the surgical plan with him, preparing him, surgery, waking up, Audrey and Claire telling him that his numbers aren't good. Damn it. What was happening? Is he really going to die? This can't be happening. Not yet. Not now. No, he couldn't die. He has so many more things that he wants to do. Who will take care of Gabby since his parents are living far from San Jose? He was the one person that was a constant in Gabby's life. No, Gabby will be fine. Their mother will drop everything to take care of her if he's gone. She will handle it. She will pack her bags, pack his stubborn father, and drag him here if she has to. His mom. His madrecita. She always wanted to live close to him but his dad never wanted to move to the city. It was already a great achievement for them to leave their home house, where they spent half their lives, and move to a little house in the countryside he bought them to live more comfortably. He will never forget how his dad protested. He and his mom had to practically drag him into the car and he was complaining the whole trip. He didn't like changes. But his mother. Oh, his mother, she couldn't wait. She was blabbing the whole way how proud she is of her son, how grateful that he is such a talented surgeon that can afford to buy them a new house. Neil knew, he knew that it was difficult for his dad because he always wanted to give his wife a better life but couldn't. That was also probably the reason why he was complaining so much. But as soon as they drove into the driveway he shut up and just stared at the perfect little house in front of them. And in the next minute, he started to cry. Neil has never seen his dad cry before. Not once. At that moment he knew that he is going to be just fine with the move. No, Gabby will be fine, mom will make sure of that, Neil didn't doubt it for a minute. God, he wanted to see them. All three of them. But Gabby wouldn't know how to handle it. It would probably be too much for her. And his parents, even if he calls them now, they can't come in time to see him. Not alive anyway. According to his test results, it's a matter of hours. He won't last even a day._

_How did he get here? How is this possible? It was just a bruise. A small one. Claire was right. Claire is always right. Why didn't he listen to her when she said that he needs a full check-up? Claire. Gosh … Claire. Who will take care of Claire? Claire … shit. He can't die. He said to her that he won't abandon her just a few days back and then walked away after saying that. Why did he walk away? Why did he listen to everybody but himself? That stupid Morgan's favouritism complaint. Audrey talking to him about it. Him seeing in Audrey's eyes that she thinks something is going on between him and Claire. So what? Even if it did? Why do they care? Why do people always put their nose where it doesn't belong? Now, at this moment he didn't care anymore what other people think. Suddenly that wasn't important anymore. Why did it matter then? Because he thought he had time. A time that maybe he and Claire will find a way one day when things between them are going to be more simple when it comes to their work relationship. He was willing to wait for her. What the hell? Why is he thinking like this right now? Like he is convinced that she feels the same as him … Maybe she doesn't feel anything toward him. She probably cares for him just as her friend. God, he thought that he will have time to figure that out. Well, he doesn't. He doesn't have the damn time. His time is running out. He should have gone on that run with her that morning instead of trying to put a distance between them and their friendship. Why didn't he? He wants to go running with her right now. He was so stupid. He can't die. She needed him and it felt good to be needed by her. This isn't happening. This is just a nightmare. A horrible horrible nightmare. It can't be true. No, no, this can't be his destiny. This can't be what life has prepared for him. His thoughts were like a broken record. He couldn't stop thinking how unimaginable and premature his death is if it really is coming for him. And it was. He knew that. Claire … he wants to take her on that free drink that Marta promised them. He wants to keep taking her on free drinks until he needs a stick that will help him walk and until her curls are grey. She is sitting right there. Just a meter away from his hospital bed, watching him. He wants her closer. He wants to touch her hair. Right now at this moment, her soft curls looked even more tempting than they usually do. Probably because he knew that he will never have the chance to touch them. He will die and another man will come into her life and he will be able to touch her hair every second of his day if he will want to. And what man wouldn't want to? God damn it. He wants to be that man._

_»I'm not afraid to die,« he suddenly uttered feeling her presence next to him._

_No, he wasn't afraid, but he also didn't want to die. As he was telling her about his memories from when he was young, about his trip to the small island he saw her face. She was holding back the tears that were gathering in her eyes. He hoped that she won't cry. He didn't want that she cries because of him. Suddenly he saw it … the tear that slipped down her cheek. She quickly touched her cheek and wiped it away. She leaned forward in her chair trying to say something. He saw that she was struggling. What was she trying to tell him? What was it that she wanted to say to him and was so hard for her? Did she …?_

_»I want you to know that I …«_

_»Don't …« he suddenly said._

_He couldn't imagine that she would say the three words he wanted to hear from her. It would make everything too real. The reality of his death coming for him would suddenly be even worse because if she does love him he will get her and lose her at the same time._

_»You should go,« he whispered and wiped away his own tears that started to gather in his eyes._

_»This place still has crisis going on,« he said and observed how she slowly got up from her chair like if her body weighed a ton and suddenly a tear from her eye escaped again and she again, quickly wiped it away._

_»Goodbye, Claire.«_

_»Goodbye,« he heard her whisper and watched as she left the room._

_Did she love him? Was this what she wanted to say? Did he just hear the first word of the three that he wanted so desperately to hear? No, it was a good thing he stopped her. If she said it he would have to say it back. He can't do this to her. It's better that she doesn't know about his feelings. He can't tell her that he loves her and then leave her. It would be even more painful for her. If she will know that she lost someone that she loves and that she could be with him because he loves her too and when death comes for him … She will be even more devastated. It will be easier for her if she just loses him as a friend. Once he is dead it won't matter anymore that he loved her. He will carry that love to his grave._

_»Hey,« he suddenly heard a whisper and looked at the door._

_It was Audrey again. He gave her a small smile and she stepped closer taking a seat next to him on his bed. She took his hand in his._

_»Did you brought whiskey?« he whispered and saw how Audrey smiled back but didn't say anything for a moment._

_»You have to tell her,« she suddenly said._

_»Tell what to whom?« he said pretending he doesn't know what she is talking about._

_»Claire Neil, you have to tell Claire that you lo…«_

_»Stop, don't say it. Just …«_

_»Neil, she would want to know. She needs to know.«_

_»No, she doesn't. What good will it do to her? She was a wreck when her mother died and that was just a few months ago. I can see it in her eyes that she is hurting already and I'm still here, alive. She will be hurt enough by losing me as a friend. I don't want to imagine how she will feel if she knows that I…«_

_»Neil, she loves you. I would bet the most expensive whiskey from my collection on it, and you know it's very expensive …« Audrey said and that remark of her made them both laugh._

_But then again they got serious._

_»It doesn't matter Audrey. It doesn't matter if I love her. It doesn't matter if she loves me. In less than a day, I'll be gone and if I tell her I will just leave her with a bigger hole she will have to fill. She barely managed to grieve her mother's death.«_

_»She's stronger now. Because of you.«_

_»God, I finally got her into the right place, and now this … why is this happening?«_

_»You have to tell her,« Audrey said again, insisting further and Neil took a deep breath._

_He looked toward the cupboard._

_»Open the drawer,« he said and Audrey did what he asked her._

_»What's this?« she asked as she pulled out an envelope with Claire's name on it._

_»A letter for her.«_

_»Neil …«_

_»You will give this letter to her when you think that the time is right. When you think she will be ready to read what's inside. Give it to her in a week, in a month, in a year. I know you will pick the right moment.«_

_»This isn't the same Neil. You hav…«_

_»Audrey, stop. I made up my mind. This, this letter … it will have to do. Promise me that you will give it to her one day and that you will look after her for me.«_

_»I promise,« she said, and then she couldn't hold back anymore._

_The tears started rolling down her cheeks and Neil squeezed her hand tighter._

_»I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I couldn't love you the way you needed me to. I'm sorry I told you that our relationship wasn't enough for me,« she blurted out._

_»Audrey …« he whispered his own tears now rolling down his cheeks._

_»God …« Audrey whispered trying to calm down._

_»Like I said before … no blame, no regrets. What we had mattered and it's ok if what we had wasn't enough for you. It's ok if you wanted other things. Even if I knew how we are going to turn out I would do the same thing, I would be with you because it was great what we had.«_

_»Yeah, it was. I will never forget how we were kissing in the middle of the ER,« Audrey said and they both laughed._

_»That was such a stupid move,« Neil said back and they laughed even harder._

_»Or when you tried to drive my motorcycle. God, it was scary to look at you,« Audrey said._

_»Don't you dare tell this to anyone. Ever, you hear me?« Neil said with a smile on his face._

_»I will never forget how you hold on to me as I drove us. I could barely breathe because you were holding me so tightly around my waist. You were such a girl,« Audrey said and Neil rolled his eyes._

_»Shut up,« he said with a gentle tone remembering that night and how terrified he was on that motorcycle as she drove them down the highway._

_When their laughter died down, Audrey looked at him seriously again._

_»Neil, are you sure you don't want to tell her?«_

_»I'm sure.«_

_»Why are you so stubborn?«_

_»It's better this way.«_

_»Why?«_

_»Because!« Neil suddenly said louder, »because I wouldn't be able to handle it if she admitted it back. I would get her and lose her at the same time. I can't …«_

_»I know she would want to know.«_

_»She will know one day. You will give her the letter.«_

_»It's not the same. It's not the same if she reads it or if she hears you telling it to her. She loves you, it's obvious. You not telling her is selfish. She loves you, she deserves to know that you love her too.«_

_»I'm fine with selfish. Arrogant as well. I've been like that my whole life. I'm ok with going out this way as well,« Neil said._

_»She will be so angry with you for this,« Audrey whispered._

_»You're probably right. She will be … for a little bit. But … you know her, she's really not capable of holding a grudge for long … so …« Neil said with a smile on his face._

_He noticed Audrey rolled her eyes and as their conversation finally downed down he realized how weak he feels. This is probably how it feels. When death is coming and is almost on your doorstep sucking the life out of you. That's when he felt it. His heart starting to race, he couldn't catch his breath. He started to feel dizzy. He saw how Audrey got tense, she was looking at the machines and already started to get off the bed and that's when the sounds of machines went off._

_»Code blue,« is the last thing he heard next to all the beeping machines, and Claire rushing into the room was the last thing he saw before the darkness took over him. That's it. He's dying._

***

Neil woke up practically jumping into a sitting position. He was out of breath as if he was running and felt drops of sweat on his forehead and on the back of his neck. His body was shivering. He leaned against the headboard of his bed, clasped his legs to his chest, leaned his elbows to his knees, and hid his face into his hands feeling the tears gathering in his eyes. He quickly wiped them away and took a few deep breaths to calm down. He looked on the other side of the bed. Claire was fast asleep. He watched her for a while, as if afraid she would disappear if he looked away. Just as she disappeared from his sight in his nightmare as darkness engulfed him. Damn nightmares. He hasn't had them in three months. He remembered the conversation he had with Claire last night, how everything happened with his second surgery. That was probably what triggered this nightmare. He looked at the watch on the nightstand and saw that it was just six in the morning. He slowly lay down on his side, facing Claire. He saw that the thin strap of her nightgown had slipped from her shoulder and he carefully stretched out his hand and pushed it back on her shoulder as carefully and gently as possible. Her skin was warm, soft, it felt perfect under his fingertips. She moved slightly when he touched her, but did not wake up. Neil couldn't fall asleep again. After about fifteen minutes of trying to fall back to sleep, he finally gave up and decided that he will get up even though it's still early. He walked slowly toward the bathroom, closed the door, and stood in front of the mirror. His gaze stopped on his abdomen. Specifically on his scar left by the surgery. It reminded him of a time he so desperately wanted to forget, erase from his memory. Claire often caught him observing the scar, how he ran his fingers over it. Unlike him, she saw the scar as a sign of victory, a sign of the battle he had won. He tried to tell himself that Claire is right but he just couldn't look at it that way. He hated it. When he brushed his teeth, washed his face he went toward the closet. It was still early in the morning so it still has to be fresh outside. Since it was summer he knew that in an hour it will probably already be too hot but now it was still a perfect time for a morning run. He had to clear his mind. He took his sports clothes out of the drawer and got dressed. When he got back to the bedroom, he took the phone and some money from his wallet on the nightstand. He slowly bent down and kissed Claire on her temple. She didn't wake up. How she could sleep so soundly was a mystery to him. He was awakened by every sound or movement, especially since the earthquake. Before leaving the apartment, he left Claire a note in the kitchen that he went on a run just in case if she wakes up before he comes back.

***

»You have got to be kidding me,« officer Elisabeth Garcia said as she and officer Derek Wesley saw Neil leaving the building.

»I guess the guy likes to stay in shape. Go,« Wesley said.

»What?« Garcia said surprised.

»Well, one of us has to look after him and one of us has to stay here to look after his girl.«

»And why do I have to go on a run?«

»You know, by the way he started running you will lose sight of him in less than a half minute. That is if he stays on the main road. If he decides to turn, well … you will lose him even sooner so I suggest you get out of the car as I ordered you to Rookie.«

»Fuck,« Garcia said as she started to get out of the car and she was grateful that she was in her sports clothes but then again she always was because you never knew what may come up, just like now when she will have to run God knows for how long, what distance and at which speed.

But then again, she is a cop. She can definitely handle running after a surgeon that stands in the operating room the whole day.

»You owe me,« she said through the open car window as she closed the door.

»I'm your training officer, I don't owe you anything. Plus, look at it on the bright side. You have a chance to enjoy the view in front of you as you run behind him since you always gush about how hot he is,« Wesley said and Garcia rolled his eyes and then quickly started running.

Wesley smiled at the sight of her trying to catch up with the man they were assigned to protect and he knew that she is up for it. She is up for anything really. Maybe she was just at the beginning of her career but Garcia was a good cop already. He trusted her even if he didn't tell her that. He knew that even if she complains sometimes she will always do what is necessary and she will do it well.

»Central, this is SJ323, officer Garcia just left the car at the Freemont Street and is on protection detail by foot,« Wesley said into the radio and again relaxed in the car observing the building where everything looked completely peaceful.

***

Neil chose to run toward Central Park. It was about an hour in both directions. He will be home just a little bit past seven. He ran and pushed his body to the edge of capacity because that was the only way he felt really alive at that moment. He needed to feel a burning sensation in his lungs, his pounding heart that beat in his chest. As he was running, he thought about the letter he had written for Claire back then when he thought it's over for him. Every time he dreamed of it, he told himself he had to ask Audrey to give it back to him, but so far he hadn't done so. On Monday he will ask Audrey to return the letter to him. A horrible feeling at the thought of the nightmare crept into Neil's body again, and Neil began to run faster to keep his body focused on the physical effort rather than the unpleasant thoughts, but he could never turn his thoughts off completely. He began to think about what he would have missed out on if he had died a year ago. He would never see his family again, he would never know how it feels when Claire Browne is your girlfriend. He would miss out a lot. Truly a lot. Suddenly, a park stretched out in front of him. He ran toward the bench where he and Claire usually sat and sat down breathing heavily. He wasn't the only one that was on his morning run. He could see two men running by and a woman that also stopped to stretch. As his breathing calmed down he took his phone and called the person with whom the conversation always reassured him, calmed him down. It was early but he knew that she is definitely already awake.

»Mi niño, good morning,« he suddenly heard her soft loving voice.

»Madrecita querida,« he answered and a smile formed on his lips.

»You up already?« she asked him.

»Yes, couldn't sleep. What about you? Are you already outside?«

»Yes, I just fed the chickens and picked some vegetables from the garden. I was just headed inside. My dear husband has probably already made breakfast,« she said and he could feel the love and affection in her voice as she told him everything.

»What about you?« he hard her asking.

»Right now I'm at the park. I went for a run and now I am going to go back home.«

»Claire isn't with you?« she asked and Neil smiled at her question.

His mom adored Claire and there wasn't a phone call between them that she wouldn't ask about her.

»Claire's still asleep mom. She was really tired yesterday so I didn't have the heart to wake her up.«

»Tired? How's that? The girl herself always says she doesn't get tired,« mom said worriedly.

»It was a hard and stressful week,« Neil answered.

»Neil …« his mom uttered.

»What?«

»What if she's pregnant?« she said and Neil started laughing because of the excited tone in her voice and he couldn't deny that the question startled him and made his heart skip a beat.

»Sorry to disappoint but she's not pregnant,« he said.

»How do you know?«

»She can't be mom.«

»Yeah right. Tell that to someone else. I know that you can't keep your hands of this girl so don't you say it can't be possible.«

»Mom!« Neil said awkwardly.

»What? I was young too once you know. So was your father. I know how it is. You don't have to be shy about it.«

»We are being careful. We're still not at that point in our relationship. Plus, you know she at least has to finish her residency and get a job as an attending. Then we'll see how everything else goes,« Neil simply said.

»Did you already had the talk with her? About kids,« mom asked him.

»No.«

»Niño, you have to. You said so many times that you will.«

»I just didn't found the right moment yet and I don't want to pressure her. As I said, now there are other things that are in the first place for her and that's how it's supposed to be.«

»Neil, you have to think of yourself too. Don't forget that. You also want certain things, you have your dreams.«

»I know mom, don't worry,« he said with a smile on his face knowing that his mom always looked out for him and always made sure that he didn't forget to do that himself.

»I worry, always, it's what mothers do. And I also worry about Claire. You are pushing her too hard,« she suddenly said.

»What?« Neil said surprised.

»Yes, she told me what a pain in the ass you are sometimes as a boss,« mom said and Neil laughed.

»I'm a great boss. She couldn't wish for a better one. And she is going to be fine. Like I said this week was a madhouse at the hospital. Plus, she can handle it you know. She looks soft and fragile and she sometimes is but there is also this strength in her that always surprises me.«

»You know son, we women are the strongest human beings and we can move mountains but at the same time, deep down we just want to be loved and cherished and worshiped no matter the strength that we show to the outside world, don't you forget that.«

»I know mom. Don't worry, you and dad taught me well. I'm trying my best in taking care of her,« Neil said knowing how important it was to mom that he remembers his upbringing and the example they set for him when it comes to relationships.

When he was just seven years old he was playing with the neighbor's daughter. She was six. As they were playing she took away one of his favourite toys and he immediately tried to grab that toy to take it back. Unable to snatch it from her hands, he hit her on the back with his hand. He didn't hit her hard, he was small, tiny, barely seven years old, but when his dad saw what he had done he went completely ballistic on him. He had never seen his dad so angry before. And frankly, he never saw him so angry after that. He dragged him into the house while telling the girl to go along and he yelled at him right there in front of her. Neil could remember how humiliated he felt. He couldn't look in his dad's eyes or at the girl. His mom came because she heard screaming and as she tried to calm his dad down he didn't listen to her. He will never forget how his dad screamed at him that only cowards and weak men hit women. When he whispered that he didn't want to hurt her, that they were just playing that didn't do much difference to him. As far as he was convinced a man shouldn't hit a woman in any case regardless of the situation. Dad made him apologize to the girl for hitting her. His dad had incredible respect for his wife. Although they were poor, sometimes barely surviving, the love between the parents was always present, like air in the room. You could always feel its presence. Neil remembers how dad took care of her if she had a cold. Mom was always the one taking care of the most household chores but if she was sick, dad didn’t let her do anything. He always took care of everything so that she could rest. Neil will never forget his mother’s smile, which appeared on her face when dad paid attention to her when he took care of her or surprised her with a bouquet of flowers just like that. On a completely regular day. They were always grateful for each other. They always told him and Gaby that as long as they were together, nothing else mattered.

»I know you do, niño. I know you are taking care of her just like we thought you. I also think she is doing a great job too. You really sound happy whenever I call you.«

»I am happy,« Neil said to his phone realizing that he is feeling calmer now.

»Good, you deserve to be happy,« he heard his mother's voice and remembered that those were the exact words he said to Claire two times already.

His mom always told him that, since he was a kid. Those words anchored in his memory. That's probably why he said it to Claire because he was also always told that he deserves to be happy.

»How's dad?«

»Oh he's fine. He again has some ideas for the garden. He's driving me crazy with it. I finally put everything in place and now he wants to change something again,« she complained and Neil laughed.

»Well, at least he always makes it better and more efficient.«

»That he does. I give him that.«

»Say hi to him for me, will you?«

»Yes, I will. And you say hi to Claire for me. And don't work too hard, that goes for the both of you.«

»We have a weekend off, you know? Finally.«

»Good, then spoil yourselves with something.«

»We will,« Neil said smiling.

»Te quiero chicito,« his mom said and he again felt like a seven-year-old kid when he heard those words.

»Yo también te quiero,« he said back and then hung up starting to run back home feeling calmer and happy that everyone he cared about in his life was ok and that the nightmare was just that. A nightmare.

***

»Did you enjoy the view?« Wesley asked Garcia that threw herself into the car a little bit out of breath and in sweaty clothes.

»Shut up.«

»You know, you really have to watch your language with me. I'm your training officer. You can't tell me to shut up.«

»I just did,« Garcia said and looked at him irritated.

»Why are you so pissed?«

»Who decides to run for an hour like a maniac on Saturday morning at six o'clock?«

»Apparently, your eye-candy,« Wesley said and grinned and Garcia rolled her eyes.

»Can't he just have sex to get rid of his excess energy?«

»If he didn't have a girlfriend you would probably volunteer to help him with that, right?«

»You know, potentially speaking, what would happen if I said to my training officer that he's an idiot?«

Wesley smiled. Even if Garcia had a big mouth he couldn't hold it against her. At least because of her this protective detail wasn't completely boring, not that he wanted for it to get excited. When it comes to protective detail, especially in cases like this one when they have a serial killer to catch, boring is always a good thing because that means that people that they are watching over are not in danger.

»Just admit it. You would bang him if you had the chance to,« Wesley teased her further.

»If I knew that a simple compliment of mine about dr. Melendez being attractive is gonna bring up so much teasing from you, I wouldn't have said anything,« Garcia said thinking if Wesley is really going to tease her with it all the time.

»So, it's dr. Melendez again?« Wesley said laughing.

»God, you really are an idiot,« Garcia whispered looking through the car window away from Wesley.

»What was that?« Wesley asked with a smile on his face knowing very well what she said.

»Nothing.«

»C'mon, I'm just teasing you. At least this way we are not completely bored,« he said observing the building across the street.

»Maybe I wouldn't droll over him if I actually had someone in my life. It's been a while since I was in the company of a man and I don't mean just sex. I don't even remember when I was on a simple date.«

»Excuse me? I'm insulted. Who am I if not a man? You are in my company all the time,« Wesley said and that made Garcia laugh.

»C'mon, you know what I mean.«

»Yeah, I know,« Wesley simply answered knowing very well how she feels because he was at the same place as her.

***

Neil entered the apartment, out of breath and sweaty. He placed a bag of fresh bread he had bought at a bakery near home on the kitchen counter, went to the refrigerator, and took out cold water to quench his thirst. He noticed that the note with a message he had left for Claire was still on the counter. She hasn't gotten up yet. Closing the refrigerator door he saw her coming out of the bedroom. She stopped right in front of the kitchen and rubbed her eyes. Neil knew full well that Claire was not a morning person. It always took her at least half an hour to start functioning normally at all. Unless he used his skills in the morning that led to them making love. That’s when she woke up quickly. Neil smiled at the thought and at the way she looked. She was still rubbing her eyes and her hair was a complete mess. He adored her uncontrollable curls.

»Good morning sleepyhead,« Neil said and stepped closer to her.

»C'mon babe, give me a kiss,« he whispered and Claire stepped on her toes to kiss him.

»Did you went on a run?« she said looking at him with half-open eyes and she turned away from the windows through which the sun was already shining in its full force.

»I couldn't sleep,« Neil said and shrugged his shoulders.

»Why didn't you wake me up? I would go with you.«

»You were sleeping so soundly I didn't have the heart to wake you up.«

»You seem as if you ran a marathon. Where did you run?«

»To Central Park.«

»Central Park?! That's like half an hour in one direction.«

»Yeah, well, after an hour of running I am definitely in need of a shower. You want to join me?«

»Umm, I will go back to bed and cuddle with the blanket a little more. It's just ten past seven,« Claire said yawning and Neil smiled at her.

»Lucky blanket,« he said, placed his hand on her lower back, and gently pushed her so that they began to step towards the bedroom.

»Go shower and then you can cuddle with me and the blanket,« she whispered as she got back into bed.

»Sounds really tempting. I'll be quick,« he said and stepped to the bathroom.

While showering, he thought about how he adored mornings with Claire. Especially mornings on days when they knew they didn’t need to go to work. That’s when they were able to forget about all the worries and really dedicate their time and attention to each other. They also didn’t need to be careful about how they behaved in front of others. They were just simply Neil and Claire. He wasn’t her boss, she wasn’t his resident. They were without titles, without official worries and obligations. Suddenly, while the water caressed his skin, he remembered his mother's words. She always reminded him that he should talk to Claire about the children he wanted. Until now he never found the right moment to start the conversation. He also thought it was too soon. They had only been together for a year and it was a year that was not easy for them. They have already gone through many things together and some of those things were really difficult. It was just half of the year that their relationship was really at a good place, without big fights that were present at the beginning. He also knew that at this point, it really wouldn’t be wise for Claire to get pregnant given the whole situation at work. She was still a resident, he was her boss. They will have to wait at least another year and Neil was ok with that. He knew that Claire had a difficult childhood, that she is insecure when it comes to being a mother. He knew that there is a possibility that it will be a hard decision for Claire to have a child but somehow he had a feeling that everything will be ok. Claire changed with him, she learned how to trust him, she knows he will always be there for her and because of that, she will probably want to have kids with him. Probably, he thought to himself and realized that it does bother him that he doesn't know for sure what are her thoughts on having kids with him. He knew his mom is right. He should talk with her just to ease his mind. To know where they stand but he knew he won't start the conversation this weekend. It was a difficult week. He doesn't want to make their weekend difficult too. Not that he thought that conversation about having kids is going to be difficult but he couldn't say for sure how it will go so he decided it is better to wait for now.

When he came out of the bathroom he quickly crawled under the blanket and Claire scooted closer to him.

»Did you sleep well? You were very tired yesterday,« he said and she sighed.

»Yes, I did. I feel great. I think that all the stress of this past week caught up with me when I finally lay down yesterday knowing that I don't have to worry about work for two days,« Claire said and Neil smiled.

»You better be rested because today is going to be a tough day due to our shopping spree,« Neil said with a smile on his face playing with her wild curls.

»God, I really don't like shopping,« she said.

»Well, I do actually. I am excited about a new tux and buying you a dress so you will be the most beautiful arm-candy on Saturday. Not that you need a new dress to be beautiful but … I want to spoil you a little bit.«

»You're spoiling me too much,« Claire said with a smile on her face.

»My mom thinks otherwise,« Neil said remembering that his mom said he is pushing Claire too hard and that even though Claire is strong he has to take good care of her.

»Your mom?«

»Yeah, I talked with her this morning when I got to the park. I told her you were tired yesterday and that is why you're still asleep and she said that I am pushing you too hard. Furthermore, you said to my mother that I'm a pain in the ass like a boss?«

Claire laughed.

»Yes, I think I said that once. You truly are a pain in the ass sometimes with your stubbornness. How is she? How's your dad?«

»They're fine. Dad is again changing the garden somehow so she is going crazy. Again,« Neil said rolling his eyes and Claire smiled raising her head, resting her chin on his chest to get a better look at him.

»We should visit them when we are going to be able to take some time off. I would love to see them again,« Claire said and Neil smiled at her.

»We will. You know, my mom adores you,« Neil whispered.

»What's not to adore?« Claire said and that made Neil laugh.

Their conversation subsided and they just lay in each other's arms as they both drifted into sleep again. It was already half-past ten when Claire woke up.

»Neil, baby, we have to get up now. It's late. Even for a Saturday,« she said and gently rubbed his upper arm to wake him.

»Mmmm, no, I don't want to get up,« he murmured, and as she wanted to get up, grabbed her hand and pulled her closer again.

»Neil, c'mon. Before we get ready, eat something it's going to be noon already.«

»I don't care,« he said with still closed eyes and rolled over onto her.

»Neil, don't,« Claire said smiling.

»Don't what?« he whispered his lips already living kisses at the sensitive skin behind her ear.

»We are never going to see that shopping mall if we start this now,« Claire said laughing feeling his hand on her thigh, pushing her nightgown higher trying to get her out of it.

»We still have hoooours to go do the shopping. We have enough time,« he insisted.

»No, we don't. You buying a tux is a mission,« Claire said and Neil looked at her.

»Ok, you are right about that,« he admitted to being picky when it comes to clothes.

»C'mon, let's get ready and we can do this when we come back home,« Claire said as she teasingly moved her hips under him making him smile.

»Then stop teasing me,« he whispered stealing a kiss from her.

»Plus, I don't want to spend the whole afternoon in the shopping mall so we really have to get going,« she insisted further and Neil still didn't stop with his lips moving over her soft skin.

»Are you sure you want me to stop?« he asked and looked at her with a pout on his lips.

»Don't look at me like that! You look like a desperate puppy,« Claire said and Neil laughed.

»Mhm, desperate for being with you,« he said as his hand found its way between her legs and began to travel along the inside of her thigh and that's when Claire knew they have to get out of bed.

»That's enough. Let's go, Melendez,« she said playfully pushing him off of her and quickly got out of bed.

»You are torturing me,« he complained laughing.

»Like I said yesterday, you have no idea what torture is,« Claire said smiling as she was heading for the kitchen.

After breakfast, Claire was in the wardrobe knowing Neil is already waiting for her. She wanted to look nice today even if it was just an ordinary day. She wanted to be pretty for him. She loved it when they could go somewhere where other people saw them as just a regular couple when they didn't have to always be careful about how they are behaving. She wanted to spend a great day together with him and she wanted to feel good in her skin. She was changing her summer dress for the third time already and she finally decided that the magenta-colored dress that she currently wears is a perfect choice. The soft fluttering fabric of the dress reached to the floor, but what made it really special was that it had a low back neckline, and the fabric was held together only by a few thin straps. Morgan once forced her to buy this dress saying that it's a perfect summer dress. Neil hadn't seen it yet and she knew he will like it. Especially since she won’t be able to have a bra under it because of the low back neckline, for which he will certainly be grateful for when they are going to be in the cabin together while trying on clothes. She smiled at the thought of it. It's going to be an interesting day. She will torture him the whole afternoon.

»Babe, what's taking so long?« she suddenly heard and looked at Neil's reflection in the mirror.

»I'm almost done,« Claire said looking at the mirror while she tried to put the earrings into her ears.

»What are you wearing?« he asked and Claire looked at him.

»You like it?« she asked playfully.

»Umm, yes I do but … oh my, you are going to destroy me one day. You are doing this on purpose.«

»Doing what on purpose?«

»I think my mom is right,« he suddenly said and Claire looked at him confused.

»About what?«

»She said that I can't keep my hands off of you. She's right. I think I actually might have a problem and you are not helping with looking so beautiful next to me,« he admitted and Claire laughed.

»When did she say that?« Claire asked and Neil immediately realized that he made a mistake making that remark because he didn't want to bring up in what context his mom said that.

»She said it when she was here visiting us once and saw us all cuddly,« he managed to make something up avoiding telling her that his mom thinks she might be pregnant since she was tired.

Claire smiled.

»Well, I love having your hands all over me but it will have to wait until we come back home.«

»You wish. I'm gonna hold you close the entire day,« Neil said stepping closer looking upon her face.

»You're such a sap,« Claire whispered but deep down she loved his cheesy compliments and remarks.

Knowing he thinks this way about her, that he's so crazy about her made her love him and cherish him even more. Since they were together she was grateful to be able to be part of his life, that he was hers and that she was his. She never imagined having someone in her life that would be so good to her. She looked and him and somehow she could feel by the way he was looking at her that something wasn't right. She knew that look in his eyes. She has seen it before.

»You ok?« she asked and Neil looked at her confused.

»Why?«

»You couldn't sleep, you went on a run, an hour-long one, you called your mother. I see a pattern,« Claire said and Neil smiled at her knowing she always notices everything.

»I'm fine.«

»You had a nightmare again, didn't you?«

»It doesn't matter.«

»It does. Why didn't you wake me up? You don't have to deal with the nightmares alone. I know I am not able to do much except talk with you and hold your hand but it helped in the past, didn't it?«

»What are you talking about not being able to do much? You make me feel better with just being here.«

»I wish you would wake me up,« Claire said and rubbed his upper arms with her hands gently squeezing them.

»Claire, babe, I'm fine. It just surprised me because I haven't had a nightmare for months. That's it. I'm ok. Really. I was a little bit upset in the morning but now I feel good, don't worry,« Neil said and smiled at her.

»Ok,« Claire said observing his face deciding that he is being honest, he did look calm and content.

»You're ready?«

»Yes,« Claire said reaching for her bag.

When they were already in the car Claire thought of Morgan.

»Baby, do you mind if I ask Morgan if she wants to join us for lunch at the mall? I don't want her to be alone for the whole weekend.«

»No, not at all. Call her,« Neil said as he drove out of the parking lot.

Claire took her phone and dialed Morgan.

»Hey Claire, what's up? You've been away from me less than a day and you already miss me?« Morgan said picking up.

»Don't flatter yourself too much. I just wanted to ask you if you would want to join me and Neil for lunch,« Claire said and heard that Morgan went quiet for a second.

»Umm, I have plans. You know I told you my brother is in town and we kind of have the whole day planned out. Another time?« Morgan said feeling bad for lying to Claire.

»It's ok. It was just an idea. Enjoy your day and say hi to your brother for me.«

»Thanks. Have a great day too,« Morgan said and hung up.

***

As Morgan hung up the phone she quickly took her car keys and stormed out of the apartment knowing she is already late in picking Henry up to go shopping at the mall with him. If only she knew that Claire and Neil had the same plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Please leave your review, opinion in the comment section. Tell me how you feel about this chapter and what you liked the most. Thank you! ❤️


	20. Sugar daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane wakes up after spending the night with Matthew having no clue that she is at the home of a serial killer. Neil and Claire are finally going on their shopping spree. Will Claire be able to find a dress for herself that Neil wants to buy her? Will Morgan get busted by Claire since she and Henry are going shopping too? Find out in chapter 20 of Grateful for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> We are at CHAPTER 20!!! How crazy is that? When I started writing this story I had no idea I will write it for so long and that I will have so many ideas. My story now has over 5000 hits. That's just crazy. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I'm so grateful! ❤️
> 
> The wait is over. Melendaire's shopping time that some of you looked forward to is finally here. Since I am capable of dragging just one scene over I don't know … twenty pages … this is just the first part of their shopping spree. 😅 So, I did some digging on how much attending surgeons and chief residents earn since I had this idea of Neil buying Claire a, well ... expensive dress, and when I saw the number I just said ... you know what, I will let the girl enjoy an expensive dress that her generous loving boyfriend will buy for her and so I just went with this idea of mine. I also explored this idea of an overly expensive dress because we know that Neil's family did have money problems and Neil didn't want to live his whole life like that. I just kind of wanted to portray how far he has come I guess. And oh ... if only I could buy myself a dress like that and only if I had a Neil Melendez to go with me to whatever event we would go. A girl can dream, right? 😏❤️😍
> 
> You know that a lot of times I write about Claire being a dominant woman when it comes to bed activities. Until now I really didn't explore that a lot so this time I decided to give you a little preview of this side of her. I often write about how she sees Neil, but this time you will be able to see how Neil sees her and you will also get a preview of well … charmingly confused Neil that is at his girlfriend's mercy. I wouldn't mark this chapter as explicit even though it has a lovely teasing scene in it but I think it will work perfectly for building the tension for the future explicit scenes. ❤️😏
> 
> I really hope you will like this chapter. One thing I really love about it is that we see Neil and Claire outside the hospital and also outside of their home when they a lot of times also talk about work and other issues. This chapter is really just them as a couple. No work and no conversations about work at all so that is something I really like. I think it's a completely different vibe in this chapter, more playful, more relaxed. I hope you will feel the difference too. 😊
> 
> Enjoy reading! 🤗
> 
> Sarah

**Saturday morning, 8.14 AM, Matthew's apartment**

Jane slowly opened her eyes and looked at the room around her. At first, she was confused about where she was, but then she remembered the night before. She looked to the other side of the bed which was empty. She slowly rose to a sitting position and clutched her head. Fucking headache. She didn’t drink much at all last night, but a headache still crept into her head, reminding her how poorly she tolerated alcohol no matter how much she drank. She got out of bed and picked up Matthew's shirt from the floor and put it on. The shirt still pleasantly smelled of his perfume. She remembered last night and somehow she didn't know how to feel about it. Slowly moving out of the bedroom she went toward the kitchen from where she heard that noises are coming. Matthew was leaning against the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee in his hand and the newspaper in the other. Who was still reading a newspaper? Most people read the news on the web. Guess he is old school.

»Good morning,« Jane said a little bit awkward and he looked up at her.

»Good morning,« he said and put down the newspaper looking at her and she could see how his eyes checked her out.

Again, she didn't know how to feel about it. She felt shy next to him, insecure, which she usually wasn't. She wrapped her arms around her body like she wanted to cover herself even more though his shirt was practically covering up most of her body since she was tiny.

»Want a cup of coffee?« Matthew asked and she nodded at him sitting down behind the kitchen counter.

»Here you go.«

»Thanks,« she said and gave him a small smile.

»You want some breakfast? I'm not much of a cook but I can make us something,« Matthew said and Jane looked at him.

She wasn't sure about him. She didn't know if she should say yes or if it would be better to leave. She felt like something is off but couldn't put a finger on it. But on the other hand, something was pulling her toward him. Probably the same thing that made her feel like she should run away. He had this mysterious vibe about him that made her curious. Maybe all older guys have this vibe around them? She was never with a guy that would be so much older than her. She just turned twenty-eight, he was definitely going toward his forty's. Matthew stepped closer to her, touched the edge of the swivel bar chair on which she was sitting on and turned her toward him slowly pushing himself between her legs. She looked up at him waiting for what he will do.

»What is going in that head of yours, hm? You look distant,« he asked his arms resting on her shoulders and he squeezed them lightly noticing the tension in them.

»It's nothing. It's early, I'm still a little bit sleepy,« she said.

»Good. I already thought that maybe you didn't like the way I fucked you last night,« he said bluntly and leaned down to kiss her.

At his words, Jane again remembered the way he made love to her if you could call that making love, but she relaxed at the soft touch of his lips on hers that was in complete contrast to his roughness from last night.

»Well, you could be a little bit less rough,« Jane whispered.

Matthew gently touched her cheek with his hand and he noticed how she leaned into his touch showing how much she longs to have someone next to her. Rough? If only she knew how rough he can be. He is raping women for sport for years, killing them as well after he's done with them. She thought that he was rough with her? Her ex is probably all flowers and chocolates.

»It seemed you were enjoying it. You should have said something to me if it wasn't ok for you,« he said trying to make her feel guilty and by the look on her face, he knew that he was successful with shifting the blame on her.

Jane thought about what he said and realized that she really didn't say anything to him. Maybe she is just confused because Matthew is the complete opposite of Henry. That's probably it.

»Will you help me?« Matthew asked her as he started preparing breakfast and Jane nodded and joined him on the other side of the kitchen counter.

»I did enjoy it, it's just that … I really don't have experience with rough sex. You just surprised me, that's all,« she said feeling like she has to explain herself.

»Well, I'm full of surprises. Stick with me and maybe you will also find my gentle side,« he said and smiled at her knowing that if he scares her off she won't be of much help to him.

Jane visibly relaxed and smiled back at him.

»So you want me to stick around?« she asked him.

»Yeah, why not? I mean, if that is also what you want.«

»Yeah, why not,« she repeated his words.

As they ate Matthew observed her. He wasn't quite sure yet if Jane is going to be able to help him, but for now, she was the one that was the closest to the person he was interested in. How he will extract information from her and make her useful to him, he will have to find out with time.

»So, you're a doctor?« he started the conversation.

»Yes, surgical resident, first year … first week actually,« Jane said thinking about the tough week that was behind her.

»You don't sound very excited about it.«

Jane looked at him now knowing if she should be honest or if she should just pretend she's fine.

»It's been tougher than I thought it will be,« she admitted looking at the plate while she played with a fork pushing a cherry tomato here and there.

»As you said, it's been just one week. You will get the hang of it,« Matthew said and he saw a smile at the corner of her lips.

»Maybe it was a mistake that I applied for the residency at St. Bonaventure.«

»Why? It's one of the best hospitals in the country.«

»Yeah, it is but … honestly, my ex is also working there. If I knew that we are going to break up I wouldn't apply at the same hospital as he did.«

»Why did you break up?«

»I don't want to talk about it,« Jane suddenly said and Matthew nodded.

»You get angry when you talk about him. You should move on. It doesn't make sense to hold on to what's in the past.«

»Yeah, well he is very good at that,« Jane hissed and took a sip of the orange juice and at her words, Matthew knew he has to use this moment to lead the conversation where he really wanted it to go.

»You mentioned a … blonde bitch yesterday. You're angry he already has eyes for someone else?« Matthew said and he felt how his heart started to beat faster at the thought that maybe he will get some new information about his blondie.

»I barely know her but I can't stand her. And by everything that other people are saying, I am not missing much.«

»How's that?«

»Well, people aren't really fond of her. She's cold, calculative, always looking out for herself no matter what that does to others. But I guess that being like that is ok if, on the other hand, you are an amazing surgeon.«

»You said, surgeon? She isn't just a surgical resident?« Matthew pretended not to know who his blondie was.

»She's a senior resident, she's practically almost done with her residency so she has a lot of experience. Putting her character aside she really is very good. She's practically going to be an attending doctor somewhere next year.«

 _We'll see about that_ , Matthew thought to himself knowing that she is probably going to be dead by then.

»Is she really that good?«

»Well, she is on dr. Melendez's service. He's kind of, well, not kind of, he is the best of the best. He and his residents are practically royalty at St. Bonaventure, and Henry, the lucky bastard of course got a spot on his team,« Jane said getting angry and resentful all over again.

 _Dr. Melendez. That was also a familiar name to him_ , Matthew thought but he pushed the thought aside because he wasn't interested in him.

»Gosh, why am I telling you all of this? I am probably boring you. What about you? What do you do?« Jane asked him.

»We will talk about me next time because I need to be somewhere in an hour,« Matthew said trying to avoid the conversation about him.

»Ok, of course. I'll go too. Can I take a quick shower before I leave?« she asked.

Matthew stood up and stepped closer to her.

»Of course. So … are we really going to see each other again or did I scare you yesterday with the rough sex you aren't used to?« he asked leaning down and stopping just in front of her lips.

Jane's eyes lingered at his lips.

»I would want to see you again,« she whispered his closeness intoxicating her.

»Good, now go take that shower,« Matthew said and when Jane thought he will finally kiss her he moved away leaving her with the built-up desire for that kiss.

***

**Saturday, 12.26 PM, The Great Mall**

Neil drove slowly into the parking garage of the mall and Claire immediately started to look for a free parking space. It was Saturday and lunchtime, so it was no wonder the mall was full of people and they knew that they will probably have to do quite a few laps to come across a free parking space especially if they want to park somewhere close to the entrance.

»Neil! There, there, look!« Claire suddenly said showing him with her hand to the right side and Neil immediately turned and they saw another car from the other direction seeing the same free parking spot also turning toward it.

»No, you won't,« Neil said and stepped on the gas.

»C'mon Melendez! Don't you dare let this guy take our beautiful free parking space that our Tesla currently so desperately needs in this insane crowd,« Claire said watching Neil that drove into the free spot fast but elegantly at the same time and Claire looked at the guy in another car that nervously slammed the steering wheel with his hand.

She couldn't hold back so she smiled at the guy with a mocking smile on her face, shrugging her shoulders at him.

»Don't enjoy this so much babe,« Neil laughed and Claire looked at him with a smile on her face.

»That's my man,« she said proudly and leaned toward him to give him a kiss and Neil gladly surrendered to her soft lips.

»So, are you ready?« he asked when she moved away.

»No,« she said and Neil laughed.

»Why is it that you don't like shopping?« Neil asked her knowing that she orders a lot of things online.

»Why is it that you love it so much? Don't usually men complain when it comes to shopping?«

»I'm not just any man. I'm Ne…«

»… you're Neil Melendez, I know,« she said smiling.

»It's just … you are my shopping buddy, so that's a big plus for me to look forward to shopping. We will spoil ourselves a little bit with new clothes, it will make us look forward to Saturday even more, we'll have lunch here … c'mon, we will have a great time,« Neil said.

»The only thing I look forward to is you in a tux,« Claire said with a dreamy look on her face.

»Yeah? Then let's go,« Neil encouraged her with a smile on his face as he started to open the car door.

As they got out of the car, the hot steamy summer air hit them.

»Is it just me or today is even hotter than yesterday?« Neil asked looking at Claire that pushed her loose hair from her cleavage to her back.

»Loose hair was not the best idea today,« she complained about her not so practical hairstyle decision thinking she should make space buns she was wearing with all of her hair not just the top layers.

»C'mon, let's go inside. The air conditioning will save us from this crazy temperature,« Neil said and they started to walk toward the entrance.

»Maybe I should just cut my hair. That would save me from this heat,« she said and Neil shook his head disapprovingly at her idea.

»What? Not only that it's hot with this hair around my neck, you have no idea how tough it is to keep this hair under control. Every morning I wake up a mess. Not a seductive look I would want to have next to you,« Claire said and Neil laughed.

»I love your hair and all the messiness that comes with it. And I adore these small space buns you are wearing today. So cute,« he said playfully and flicked one of her space buns with his fingers.

»Stop it,« she said laughing moving her head away from his playful fingers but Neil suddenly hugged her across her shoulders and pulled her close to him.

As they entered the inside of the mall, they both sighed with relief at the colder air that enveloped them.

»Much better,« Neil whispered and Claire nodded.

Neil stepped in front of her and took her hands in his.

»So, what is the first order of business?« he asked all serious.

»Hmmm, your tux?« she asked smiling.

»No. I want to buy you a dress first,« he said and Claire rolled his eyes.

»Ok, sugar daddy. Let's go,« she said playfully and Neil laughed at her remark letting his hands cross at her lower back pulling her closer.

»Sugar daddy, you say? Are you implying that I'm old?«

»Well, you are older than me, aren't you? And you are eager to throw away your money to please me,« she said teasingly crossing her hands behind his neck.

»You're lucky that I'm not sensitive when it comes to our age difference,« Neil said with a smile on his face thinking of their eleven-year gap that he really never thought about.

»Well, I don't mind it. It's hot. You being older than me and all …« she admitted and Neil again had a satisfied smile on his face.

»I can't believe you called me a sugar daddy,« he said and laughed again.

»Yeah, a very hot sugar daddy.«

»Jesus, let's go because we really won't succeed at buying anything if we will stop every few feet to flirt with each other,« Neil said and Claire laughed knowing that this is going to be one interesting and very enjoyable afternoon.

Claire firmly intertwined the fingers of her right hand with his, stepping to his side so they could continue walking down the big open gallery of the shopping mall. She loved this feeling of freedom with him. When she can hold his hand in hers, give him a loving, longing stare that just he knows how to interpret or when she can steal a kiss from him whenever she wants without having to worry what others will think. She didn't have to be concerned if her actions will start a new wave of rumors. Here, in this environment, they were just a regular couple in other's people eyes and she loved the feeling.

Claire followed Neil's lead. By the way he walked she had a feeling he knows exactly where he is taking her.

»I have a feeling that you have the whole plan for today figured out,« Claire said as Neil was confidently changing direction leading them toward the store he chose to buy her a dress.

»Yup, I have,« he said smiling at her, and then he suddenly stopped.

Claire looked away from his face and followed his gaze that was directed at the entrance of the store he picked.

»No. There is no way I'm stepping into this store.«

»What? Why?«

»Neil, it's Ralph Lauren.«

»So?«

Claire looked at him then back into the store and back at him again not able to believe that he is planning to buy her a dress here.

»Most of the dresses in this store cost more than my monthly salary,« Claire said thinking it's ridiculous that he would buy her a dress so expensive.

»Well, then it's a good thing you are not paying, isn't it?« Neil said and smiled.

»Neil, it's too expensive.«

»Well, you can't buy Ralph Lauren cheaper.«

»Why do you want to buy me a Ralph Lauren dress?«

»Because I can and look at them. They are gorgeous,« Neil said showing with his free hand toward the display window of the store.

»Neil,« Claire sighed and looked at him with a disapproving look that she hoped will convince him that it's pointless to insist.

»Claire,« he said her name in the same tone by which she knew he won't take no for an answer.

»Neil, I don't need this. I don't need a crazy expensive dress. A dress with a reasonable price does it for me. I don't care about stuff like this, you know that.«

»Claire, half of my life I had to watch over every single penny I spent. That's one of the reasons why I decided to be a surgeon. Because I wanted to change that. I didn't want to be poor. You know well how it is when you don't have the money. Now I have it and if I want to buy you an expensive dress I will. The only thing that makes money worth something to me is if I can spend it on the people I love, people I care about. You, Gabby, my parents. Why are you even arguing about this?«

»As I said, it's my monthly salary.«

»And like I said … you are not paying for it. Furthermore, don't get me wrong, but your salary, for now, can’t compare to mine and that is probably the reason why we have different views on what is a lot at this moment.«

»It's just …«

»Claire, you never let me buy anything for you, you are always paying yourself and that's ok. If that makes you feel independent and good about yourself, fine. You have your own money. I know that. But this time … just let me do this. Please? Just stop thinking about the money and try on some dresses. I know you will love them once you try them on. I know I will,« he whispered the last words and winked at her.

Claire was looking at him not knowing what to do. She knew he can afford expensive things. She knew that her salary was practically change for him in comparison to his salary but she never wanted him to spend money on her. When she moved to his apartment she wanted to contribute to the monthly costs of it but Neil was of course completely outraged at her suggestion saying that there is no way he will let her do that. She took care of herself her whole life so it was hard for her to just accept a big gesture like that from him.

Neil saw the uncertainty in Claire's eyes. He knew from the get-go she will be a rebel about this.

»C'mon, if I'm your sugar daddy then just let me play the part in a right way,« he said taking both of her hands in his again and his remark made Claire smile.

Claire looked into the store again looking at all the shiny dresses in it and sighed.

»Well, this store has one perk,« she suddenly said and looked back at him.

»What's that?« Neil asked.

»It's not crowded. I don't like crowded places. Except for the hospital of course.«

»Does this mean that you are going to please me and let me spoil you?« Neil asked curious thinking if he convinced her.

»Fine. But … if I don't like any of these dresses, we won't buy it,« Claire said pointing her index finger at him.

»Deal,« Neil said knowing full well that it's impossible that she wouldn't find at least one dress that would take her breath away.

As they entered the store, Claire looked around. She couldn't deny it. Even from afar, the dresses were breathtaking. She slowly reached out with her hand and touched the silky dress that was in front of her. She liked the soft feeling under her fingers. What woman wouldn't want to wear a dress like this? If a woman says that she doesn't want it, she's lying. She did want to wear a dress like this but she still thought it's way too expensive. She slowly stepped a step to the right pulling Neil that was still holding her hand with her and touched the next one. At the sight of a blue dress that had details made from an elegant lace, Claire remembered one of the moments in her senior year of high school.

***

_She opened the door of a small shop that was located in the middle of a street where almost every single other place was abandoned. As she pushed the door open a little bell above them rang as she struck it. The store was really small. She could see a simple table on the right side on which the cash register was. Behind the desk there was a door that probably led to the storage, she thought. There was a small changing cabin on her left side and between the table and the cabin, there were racks with dresses. The dresses were not organized by color or by length, materials … They were also hung tightly together as there was no room to display them nicely._

_»Hey love,« she suddenly heard a female voice and turned toward the table._

_»Hi.«_

_»Can I help you doll?« a woman that was already about sixty years old asked her with a warm smile on her face._

_Claire smiled at her and looked at the dresses._

_»I, amm … I was just passing by your store and … well, I wanted to look at your dresses,« she said somewhat awkwardly._

_»What's the special occasion?« the lady asked her._

_»Prom,« Claire whispered shyly._

_»I thought so,« the lady said and stepped closer._

_»So, what did you have in mind?« she asked her._

_»I don't know really. I didn't think about it yet. Like I said. I just wanted to look,« Claire explained thinking it was probably a mistake she entered the store._

_»Well, we can find out. We can go through them and you can try them on. With you, it really won't be a problem. Look at you, aren't you a pretty thing?« the lady said with a warm tone and she cupped Claire's face between her warm hands and then turned toward the dresses starting to go through them._

_»I appreciate you are trying to help me but … don't bother. I can't afford it anyway,« she whispered and the lady looked at her._

_»As I said, I just wanted to look,« Claire said embarrassed trying to avoid looking at the nice lady in front of her._

_For a moment there was silence between them._

_»How much do you have?« she suddenly heard the lady asking her._

_»What?«_

_»How much money can you spare for a dress?«_

_Claire looked at her confused. She managed to save some money, but it was certainly not nearly enough for her to be able to afford a dress, even if she would want to buy it in such a hole of a store. Dresses were expensive and twenty dollars wasn't nearly enough. She had more money spared, hundred dollars actually. That would be enough for a very beautiful dress in a store like this as far as she knew about the prices of dresses but well if only her mother's boyfriend didn't steal it from her. She was lucky that she had these twenty dollars in her wallet and not already next to the rest of the spared money that was now gone._

_»Well? How much?« the lady encouraged her again._

_»Twenty dollars,« Claire blurted out and tried really hard not to start crying._

_The lady looked at her, then at the dresses, and then back at Claire._

_»Fine,« the lady suddenly said and Claire looked at her confused and with a questioning look._

_»What do you mean fine?« Claire asked._

_»Twenty dollars it is. Try the dresses on and pick one. I will sell it to you for twenty dollars,« the lady said._

_»No, I can't. All of these dresses cost more, I …«_

_»Yes, they do. But if I say that twenty dollars are enough, that means it is enough.«_

_Claire was looking at the lady in front of her not able to believe it._

_»Are you being serious?« she asked._

_»Do you think that I would be kidding about something like this? You don't really think that I would get your hopes up and then what, tell you I'm kidding or that I'm not serious? I am not evil. When it comes to girls and dresses I take it very seriously,« the lady said and smiled._

_»Ok …« Claire said and she felt how she got excited at the thought of trying on the dresses._

_And she did try them on. A lot of them. She was trying on dress after dress just to see how they look on her. The lady, Barbara, was helping her with zipping and buttoning them and suddenly there it was. Claire was standing in a dress that was perfect in her eyes. And she bought it for twenty dollars._

***

»Claire?« Neil asked as he saw Claire drifted away.

»Claire?« he repeated when she didn't answer him.

»Yes? What?« she said as she was brought from her past back to reality.

»Are you ok?« Neil asked.

»Yes, I just remembered how I…«

»Excuse me, my name is Denise, can I help you?« a female voice interrupted her and both she and Neil looked at the saleswoman next to them.

»Yes, we are looking for an evening dress,« Neil answered and looked at Claire with excitement in his eyes.

»For what occasion?« the woman asked and looked at Claire.

»Well, we are going to attend a Charity Gala on Saturday evening,« Claire answered and Denise nodded with a smile.

»My favourite kind of event. Gala. Ok. So, do you already have an idea for a dress in your mind?« Denise asked.

»Not really. I was thinking of a long dress of course, right?« she said and looked up at Neil that was now just a quiet bystander letting her do the talking.

»Whatever you want babe,« he answered.

»You know, I really hope you are not going to be just a quiet bystander who won't share your opinion with me. If you brought me here and are making me pick out a dress here, you will have to help me choose it,« Claire said and Neil looked at Denise that had a small smile on her face that she was trying to hide as Claire playfully scolded him looking at him with those beautiful green eyes that were shining under the store lights.

»I agree with long,« Neil answered with a smile and Claire nodded.

»So, long, and since it's summer it would be great if it didn't have sleeves even though the dresses with sleeves are gorgeous but otherwise, I just want something elegant, simple. Less is more with me,« Claire said and Denise nodded.

»Well, elegant and simple is definitely what most of Ralph Lauren's dresses are all about so you brought her to the right place,« Denise said turning to Neil that then looked at Claire with a satisfied expression on his face and Claire knew that he was trying to tell her _I told you so_.

»I think that the new collection that just came is going to be perfect for you,« Denise said and led them to the other side of the store.

Denise was pleasant. She slowly showed Claire the dresses, highlighting the details in each, presenting the type of material they were made of, and at the same time, she paid attention to what Claire wanted. In a store like this, it would be hard to choose completely on your own, so Claire was glad Denise was helping her. Every now and then Claire looked at Neil, who was merely holding her hand and listening to Denise lecturing them about the dresses like a true connoisseur of the brand she was selling. Claire thought it was funny how quiet Neil was but then again he was always quiet when he wanted her to make a decision on her own no matter the situation. It was similar to when they were discussing treatment possibilities. He always gave her space to think and come up with a solution on her own. But in the end, he helped her if she was struggling or tell her how she can improve something. This moment felt similar even if it was a completely different situation.

But even though Neil was quiet he paid attention to Claire. He observed how she looked at each dress, touched the materials when Denise encouraged her to. He saw by the look on her face which dresses she liked the most. He didn't miss the moment when she lingered next to one of the dresses for a longer time. It was a gorgeous mint-colored dress that he knew would be perfect in contrast with Claire's beautiful skin colour. Claire was looking at the dress touching the material but then suddenly out of nowhere quickly moved on and Neil knew what she saw. The price tag. God, he knew she will be a rebel but he didn't imagine this will be such a problem. She will probably just pick the dress that is the cheapest one in this store due to how she was acting. But he will win, he said to himself. He will buy her a dress that she will like the most because she deserves it.

»So, now you two have a bit of a feeling of what this store has to offer. Now we have to pick out your favourites so you can try them on,« Denise said with an encouraging voice and with a smile on her face.

Claire looked at Neil with a look that he knew she wants to run out of the store and he couldn't hold back a smile.

»C'mon babe, pick them out,« he encouraged her and then looked at Denise.

»She's too modest, not a big fan of my idea to buy her a dress here,« he said to Denise and Claire rolled her eyes at him.

Denise looked at Claire and smiled.

»Girl, if he wants to buy you a dress here don't even think about it. If I were you I would pick the most expensive one and run with it. And I would also grab a pair of shoes on my way out,« Denise said and both Claire and Neil laughed at her remark.

»Ok, fine,« Claire said in defeat and started to look at the dresses again.

Of all the dresses, Clare chose five of them that she really liked, and Denise carefully placed them in her lap. Neil was paying attention to if Claire will take that mint coloured one too, but she didn't. Denise escorted them to the dressing rooms and hung all of Claire's selected dresses on the handles in the cabin.

»I will give you two some privacy now so you can try the dresses on but if you need anything don't hesitate to look for me,« Denise said and left them alone.

»I like her. She's not intrusive,« Claire said.

Neil nodded and then threw himself on the sofa that was in front of the changing cabin resting his arms on the backrest his legs spread wide apart. Claire couldn't help but smile at the sight in front of her.

»What?« Neil asked.

»I wonder …«

»What?«

»If I am ever gonna get used to you …« she said leaning against the edge of the cabin.

»Do you like what you see?« he asked her with a boyish smile on his face and Claire thought about how she never imagined that his arrogance that annoyed her so much when she first met him will be so attractive to her one day.

»I do,« she simply answered at the sight of him not wanting to answer him with a teasing remark because she truly did just liked what she was seeing and there was no point in denying it.

»Are you going to try on the dresses or are you going to just stand there and admire the view in front of you?« he said and Claire smiled.

»I think I need some help with dresses,« Claire said.

»Yeah?«

»Mhm,« Claire murmured and Neil looked around the store, and as far as he could see there was no one that would be close.

He got up and as he stepped closer Claire grabbed him by the shirt, pulled him into the cabin, and drew its curtain with her free hand. Neil laughed playfully at her movement and became serious as she gently pushed him against the wall, wrapped her arms firmly around his shoulders, and pressed her body to his.

»I know that Denise gave us some privacy but she will come back to check on how these dresses fit,« Neil said quietly.

»Just a little kiss,« Claire whispered back looking at his lips and then stepped on her toes to reach them.

Neil closed his eyes at the softness of her lips and surrendered to them. He didn't know how to react in another way. He wrapped his arms tightly around her feeling the skin of her bare back that the dress she was wearing was revealing. He wasn't capable of resisting her and she damn well knew that. That is also why she probably wore this dress today, to drive him even more crazy. He felt how her tongue brushed his lower lip and he gladly gave her access to his mouth. Claire always enjoyed it when the arrogant and confident Neil Melendez surrendered to her touch. When she saw and felt how he literally couldn't resist her. Before they actually fell in love she didn't dare to even imagine that she can sweep him off his feet like this. She broke the kiss and as she moved away Neil immediately leaned forward trying to reach her lips again but she gently put her index finger to his lips and shook her head telling him the kiss is over.

»Don't be greedy,« she whispered and Neil leaned his forehead against hers and exhaled.

»Why are you doing this to me?« he whispered.

»What?«

»You can't kiss me like this and just stop,« he said still leaning on her forehead just a few inches away from those enticing lips of hers.

»What do you expect me to do? We can't be together here,« she whispered back rubbing her nose against his, feeling her heart beating faster because of how close he was.

»Then you shouldn't start this.«

»You like it …«

»It's torture …«

»Admit it … You want me. Every touch, every kiss …« she whispered her lips finding their way to his neck and she could feel how his fingers dug into her hips as she brushed her lips against his neck.

Neil stayed quiet. Damn it, he thought. How is it that this woman had so much power over him? In moments like this, when she was so confident and determined at seducing him he couldn't think clearly, he couldn't resist her, he could just follow her lead and take whatever small touch she was willing to give him. Claire Browne knew how to mess with his head just like he knew how to mess with hers and they both loved it when they made each other squirm with desire.

»C'mon baby, focus,« Claire whispered and looked at him trying to get his attention and she loved the sight in front of her because there was nothing better than Neil Melendez that looked cutely confused, needy, and powerless next to her.

»Tell me you want me,« she encouraged him again.

»Isn't it obvious?«

»I want to hear you say it.«

»I want you, I want you all the time. Do you think it's possible that I'm addicted to you?« Neil said and Claire smiled.

»Well, if it is possible and you really are addicted is a good thing I'm always close. Now help me out of this dress of mine,« she said letting go of him, turning with her back toward him so that he could reach the hook of the dress.

Neil gently pulled her soft hair from her back and unhooked the hook of the dress at her neck that was holding together the straps that looked so elegant on her bare back. Claire was looking at their reflection in the mirror and observed how careful and cautious his every move was. As Neil unhooked the hook, he slowly pushed the material of the dress off her shoulders and the dress slid down Claire's body falling to the floor. Claire saw Neil's eyes looking down over her shoulder at her topless body and noticed his adam's apple moving as he swallowed.

»You ok?« she whispered with a smile loving how much power she had over him and Neil looked up, their gazes meeting in the mirror.

»You are … an evil woman,« he whispered and Claire couldn't help but laugh.

She leaned her head on his shoulders pulling his hands around her almost completely naked body and sighed.

»Do you like what you see?« she repeated his own words from earlier and Neil smiled thinking how she knows to wrap him around her little finger.

It never happened to him before that a woman would have this much power over him. He was in love with other women in the past, he was crazy about the women he was with before her but Claire … she snuck up on him in a way that he was surprised himself. Since he was with her he knew that there is no way another woman would be able to make him feel the way she does. She was like a magnet, pulling him close and he couldn't resist her pull.

»Did the cat ate your tongue baby?« he heard her say as he didn't answer her.

»I do like what I see … very much,« he whispered in her ear, and Claire sight with satisfaction that she felt at his answer.

»Why are you doing this to me?« he asked her trying to touch her breast but she didn't let him again getting hold of his hands.

»Because I can,« she simply said and Neil smiled.

»You arrogant, arrogant woman,« he said and Claire laughed.

»It's your fault. I wasn't arrogant before you. I didn't even know what arrogance is before I met you,« she said and turned around to face him.

Claire looked at the dresses that were waiting for her to try them on.

»In which one do you want to see me first?«

»Yellow,« Neil answered and Claire reached for the dress.

»Yellow it is,« she whispered and took the dress in her hands with carefulness and care.

When she put the yellow dress on she had to admit. It was a special feeling having a dress like this on her body. The dress was gorgeous but all the dresses in this store were gorgeous. It will really be a hard decision which one to choose. She continued trying the rest of them and Neil helped her with each one. He fastened the buttons, zippers, straightened the fabric, and just took advantage of every moment to slide his fingers over her skin. A kiss on her shoulder, a kiss on her inviting neck, a kiss on her thigh as he bent down so she could step into the dress … They both enjoyed every second with each other. In each dress, Claire stepped out of the cabin in front of a large wall mirror and spun in front of him.

»What do you think? I just have one more to try on and I have no idea which one I like the most,« Claire said with concern in her voice but with a smile on her face and Neil smiled loving that she is finally enjoying their shopping.

»I seriously don't know how to help you choose. This is how it is when you have a woman that looks good in everything.«

»Shut up,« Claire said playfully and at that moment Denise came.

»So? How do we like the dresses?« she asked them and looked at Claire in a light purple dress.

»It's going to be a difficult decision. All are gorgeous but I guess that the first one, the yellow one is in the first place because of the colour. I am a fan of yellow. But I still have one to try on,« Claire said and Denise nodded.

»Well, I'll leave you to it, and then when you are going to really start choosing call for me so that I can also see if we will have to do any adjustments. The length definitely needs to be adjusted,« Denise said and Claire nodded knowing that her legs are definitely too short to carry all the length of these dresses.

»Ok,« Claire said smiling and Denise again left them alone.

When Denise left Claire again went to the cabin but Neil didn't follow her.

»Are you coming?« she encouraged him but he shook his head.

»I'll be right back, just start without me,« he said and immediately left leaving Claire a little bit confused but she drew the curtain and started the process of undressing and then dressing up again all over again.

Neil looked over the store to find Denise. She noticed him and step toward him.

»Do you need anything?«

»Yes. I want that she tries that mint-coloured dress she was looking at,« he said and Denise smiled.

»She did look at that dress longer than the other ones,« she said and led them toward it and started looking for the right size.

»Here it is,« she said and looked at the dress that she was holding in her hands.

»It really is a gorgeous dress,« she whispered.

»Can I take it to her?« Neil asked and Denise gladly gave him the dress.

When Neil got back to the cabin he slightly moved the curtain and peeked inside. Claire was already dressed in a red dress but he could see that she wasn't very excited about it.

»Red is not my colour. I really think that I will go with the yellow or the blue one. I have to try them on one more time,« she said to him.

»There is one more dress that you have to put on,« Neil said with a smile on his face and Claire looked at him confused.

Neil stepped into the cabin and showed her the dress he had brought. Claire smiled but then shook her head.

»No, this dress is even more expensive than these five. I'm not putting it on.«

»C'mon, I saw how you looked at it. I saw it just now by the way you smiled when I brought it. Just try it on.«

»No.«

»For me?« he whispered and pouted.

Claire looked at the dress in his hands and then at him again. He noticed everything. She did linger at this dress before because it really was gorgeous. It stood out in comparison to other dresses.

»Fine,« Claire gave in and took the dress from his hands and Neil smiled.

»Now leave me.«

»You don't need my help anymore?« he asked playfully.

»Nope,« she said and motioned with her hand that she wants him out of the cabin wanting to put on this dress alone so it will be a surprise when she shows herself in it to him.

Neil rolled his eyes but left the cabin.

Claire started to undress from the red dress that she liked the least of all the others and took in her hand the one Neil brought her. She touched the material with her fingers, followed the lines of the dress, and sighed. It truly was a gorgeous dress. It stole her attention immediately. She slowly bent forward to step into it and carefully pulled it up her body, slowly trying to figure out where all of the straps go and in about half a minute she was standing in front of the mirror looking at the dress that fitted her perfectly. Damn it, she was in trouble. She turned to her left side, then to the right, looked at her back, and couldn't hold back a smile forming on her lips.

The mint-coloured dress was in perfect contrast with her olive skin tone. It had a deeper V-neckline but not too deep. The dress had a twist detail in the front at the waist that created a starburst effect. The slightly thicker straps at the front split into several thinner straps at the shoulders and ran across the back all the way to the middle of Claire's lower back where the edge of the dress was. Claire didn't like just the amazing back that this dress has, but also the split that ends at the middle of her thigh, and what made the dress even more breathtaking is a simple shimmer throughout the material. The dress was to die for. Next to this dress all of the previous dresses were like its shadow. You couldn't compare it to any other dress she had put on before.

»Babe, c'mon, how is it?« she heard Neil impatiently asking her outside the cabin.

She stepped toward the curtain and stuck her head out. Neil was sitting on the sofa again.

»It's horrible, hideous,« she said but Neil knew by the way she was grinning that it wasn't true.

»C'mon, show it to me,« he encouraged her and Claire finally moved away from the curtain stepping out.

A smile appeared on Neil's face and he sighed deeply.

»Oh my …« he breathed out and leaned forward.

»It's …«

»… perfect,« Neil finished Claire's sentence and Claire nodded.

»Yes, it is. It would be even more perfect if it wasn't so damn expensive.«

»Don't think about that. Do you like it?«

»Like it? You can't just like a dress like this. You can only love it,« Claire said looking at the mirror, turning around to see the dress from all angles.

»That back and that split. I will really have to keep an eye on you in this dress,« Neil said not able to hide how much he liked it.

»I think we have a winner,« they suddenly heard Denise that joined them.

»What do you think?« Claire asked her wanting opinion of another woman since Neil was just looking at her with admiring eyes.

»It's perfect. The colour, the model, it wonderfully brings out your gorgeous physique. The only thing we will have to adjust is the length. The dress should touch the ground, but it should fall to the ground lightly. It's a little too long now, so the material is piling up at the ground which makes her look heavy. But that's not a problem at all. The length is a problem with most of the dresses. We are adjusting the length all the time,« Denise explained to her.

»How long does it take to adjust it?« Neil asked.

»It will probably be done on Tuesday, at the latest on Wednesday,« Denise explained and Neil nodded.

»You are talking like it's already decided,« Claire said to him and Neil shrugged with his shoulders.

»I think it was decided the first time you saw this dress,« Neil said and Claire sighed.

Claire looked at Denise.

Can you leave us alone for a minute?« she politely asked her.

»Of course, take your time.«

»What is it?« Neil asked her and stepped closer to her.

»I can't accept a gift like this from you,« she whispered.

»From whom are you going to accept it if not from me?«

»You really want to buy me this dress?«

»Claire, I brought you here, didn't I? Why would I bring you here and make you try on all of these dresses if I had no intention of buying one for you?« Neil asked and Claire again remembered Barbara that said a similar thing when Claire doubted that she will really sell her a prom dress for twenty dollars.

»You could buy me a dress at a reasonable price and I would be happy.«

»I know that. But I want to buy you this dress.«

»You didn't accidentally miss seeing one zero on the price tag, right?« Claire asked and raised her eyebrow at him.

Neil laughed at her question.

»No.«

»There are three zeros.«

»I know,« Neil said again laughing.

»How am I going to repay you?«

»I want to buy this dress for you so just stop thinking about it and how you are going to repay me because I don't expect anything in return. I'm your boyfriend. I can buy you whatever the hell I want,« Neil said and Claire smiled at those last words.

Claire again looked at her reflection in the mirror falling in love with the dress all over again. Neil again sat down on the sofa and observed her turning around looking at herself from every angle like she really wanted to make sure she loves everything about the dress.

»I really don't know why you worry so much. You did say that I'm your sugar daddy,« he said and she looked at him.

»Yes. So? Even if you are my sugar daddy I can be concerned about how you spend your money,« she said smiling flirtatiously.

»Oh, sugar baby, it doesn't work like that you know. You are not supposed to be concerned about how I spend my money because that's what sugar daddies do. Furthermore, you said that you don't know how to repay me. I'm concerned now that you have no idea how the relationships between sugar daddy's and sugar baby's go …« Neil said and Claire laughed stepping toward him sitting down next to him leaning forward to his face.

»Oh sugar daddy, are you insinuating that I will have to have sex with you to really earn this dress?« she whispered and Neil smiled with that boyish smile of his loving the playful mood she was in today.

»Is that going to be a problem for you?« he asked.

»A problem? I will do whatever you ask me to do,« she answered seriously and Neil smiled licking his lips.

»Then it's settled,« he simply answered and Claire got up from the sofa again looking at the mirror like she couldn't believe that this dress will actually be hers.

»I'll go look for Denise so that she takes the measurement for the length,« Neil said and Claire just nodded again turning playfully and Neil couldn't get enough of the girly and happy Claire Browne in front of him.

After Denise did everything necessary to prepare the dress for the adjustment, Neil settled the payment for the dress in advance and Claire was nervously shifting her weight from one foot to the other as he did it.

»Do you need to go to the toilet or something?« Neil said laughing at her behavior and she gently hit him on his upper arm.

»No you dummy. I just can't believe you really bought me this dress,« she said and Denise smiled behind the counter at the cute couple in front of her.

»I have your number so I will call you when the dress is ready,« Denise said to Claire and gave Neil the bill.

»Please, just send me a message. I can't always pick up the phone due to my work,« Claire said.

»Ok. A message it is. Thank you so much for visiting our store and I hope you were satisfied with our offer and service,« Denise said looking between Neil and Claire.

»You were perfect, thank you,« Claire said and Denise smiled at her.

»Have a great day,« Neil said to Denise and took Claire's hand in his.

»You too,« she said watching the insanely in love couple leaving the store.

As they were walking down the shopping mall Claire stepped in front of him and looked at him to get his attention.

»What?« Neil asked her.

»Thank you,« Claire simply said now knowing what to say that would be enough to show how grateful she is for his gift.

»You're welcome,« he answered and smiled.

»So, what now? Do you want to go for lunch or do you want to go buy yourself a tux first?« Claire asked.

»I'm not really hungry yet since we had a late breakfast. Maybe we can go buy me a tux and then grab some lunch? If your not hungry already of course,« Neil suggested and Claire nodded.

»I'm not hungry yet either. Let's get you a tux first,« she said with excitement in her eyes and Neil gladly followed her as she playfully dragged him by the hand to one of his favourite stores.

***

Henry has already picked out the tux and Morgan was enjoying the show way too much. Him trying on tuxedos was a special experience, that's for sure. If she just had a glass of champagne in her hand while she sat on that comfortable armchair observing Henry getting his tux tailored it would be even more perfect. So perfect it would be kitschy. Now that he had a tuxedo already chosen, he was dealing with choosing a shirt.

»Morgan, could you ask the guy to get me a size bigger? This is way too small,« she heard his voice coming out of the cabin.

»No kidding,« she whispered to herself thinking about his muscles and then scolded herself for her mind going there.

»Yes, sure. I'll be right back,« she said and stepped a few steps when she saw them.

Morgan stood ground, her heart skipping a beat at the sight of them stepping into the store and she quickly turned around to go back toward the cabin where Henry was.

»You're already back?« Henry asked when he heard steps outside of the cabin but Morgan didn't even hear him because she was looking at Neil and Claire that started looking at the tuxedos.

The cabins were a little bit out of sight but not completely. From the place they were standing, they could see her if they would look toward the cabins. Shit, she really shouldn't lie to Claire and kept Henry a secret. Shit, she is going to be in so much trouble. There is no way she and Henry can leave this store without Neil and Claire noticing them. She is busted. And then it happened. Claire randomly looked up and their gazes met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. What did you like the most about the chapter? Please, leave your opinion in the comment section. I really appreciate it. ❤️🤗


	21. Why is it that you love me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will the shopping spree continue? What will happen after Morgan got busted by Claire? Due to the nightmare and people, he crosses at the shopping mall Neil is again faced with the discomfort at the memory of the earthquake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and that you had spent it in the company of everybody you love and care about. 🎄🌟🤗💖
> 
> Now, I swear to you … I will get diabetes from these two. When did I make them so cheesy and overly flirtatious? This weekend of theirs is really full of idiotic happiness Claire always wanted to feel and they both feel like two idiots in love. I hope you don't mind them being all touchy-feely and flirtatious to the point it's ridiculous, kind of out of control as you are going to be able to see in this chapter, especially when it comes to Neil. 😏 I just couldn't hold myself back. I love these two idiots in love so much. ❤️
> 
> But this chapter isn't all about their happy times in the present. You are going to get just a little bit of an insight on what they went through with other people's opinions as they became a couple, and how this still affects Claire after a year of being with him. You are also going to see that Neil still isn't completely over with everything that happened to him due to the earthquake. 
> 
> I really hope you will enjoy the encounter between Claire, Neil, Morgan, and Henry. I hope that I succeeded in making it funny. 😊
> 
> Enjoy the chapter! 😘
> 
> Sarah

Morgan froze when her gaze met Claire's.

»Shit,« Morgan said and suddenly opened to door of Henry's cabin, stepped in, quickly closed them, and leaned her forehead against them.

She knew her trying to hide now was pointless since Claire saw her already but still. She needed some time before the storm hits her.

»What are you doing?« Henry said confused but with a curious smile on his face.

Morgan took a deep breath and turned around. When she opened her mouth to answer the words didn't come out. She couldn't resist her eyes roaming Henry's upper body. Henry tilted his head observing her.

»Didn't you see a shirtless man before?« he asked and was pleased that she had reacted this way to him.

»Not a man like you, look at you … shit, did I just said that out loud?« Morgan said embarrassed and quickly covered her eyes with her hand and Henry laughed.

»Yes, you did.«

»Can you cover-up?« Morgan said with her hand still over her eyes.

»Cover-up? You are the one who broke into my cabin while I'm changing. If I am making you uncomfortable … well … that's your problem,« Henry said playfully turning to take another shirt he had to try on.

Morgan slightly parted the fingers of her hand and peeked through them seeing Henry's back and she quickly turned toward the door again when she saw that Henry started to turn around again. Henry looked at her and laughed again.

»Stop laughing at me,« Morgan said pinching her nose thinking how she will apologize and explain to Claire why she didn't tell her about Henry.

And not just that, she could get away with not telling her about him but she also lied about her brother being in town. She didn't just hide something from her, she lied to her.

»You know, you don't have to stare into the door, I don't mind if you drool over me,« Henry said with a smile on his face stepping behind her back and Morgan quickly turned around not expecting he is going to be so close.

She again looked up and down his chest confused feeling like an idiot for acting this way but then she sighed and looked at his face. God, he was gorgeous.

»I'm not drooling over you.«

»Yes, you are,« he said started to put on the shirt he had in his hands.

»You keep telling that to yourself if it makes you feel better,« Morgan said back as Henry started to button up the shirt.

»Why did you broke into my cabin except for resting your eyes of course?« Henry suddenly asked with a smile on his face.

»Claire and Melendez are here,« Morgan said frustrated.

»Ok. And why is that a problem?«

»I … I didn't tell Claire about us … yet,« Morgan said carefully.

»We know each other for five days. So what if you didn't tell her? Just say that you wanted to keep it for yourself a little bit,« Henry said and Morgan sighed again.

»It doesn't work like that. Plus, I lied to her about with whom I am today. I said that I am spending the day with my brother.«

»I'm sure she won't be angry.«

»No, not angry, disappointed which is worse,« Morgan said.

»Why would she be disappointed?«

»She finally started trusting me with her relationship and I am here sneaking around with you lying to her.«

»Mmm, sneaking around with me. I like the sound of that,« Henry said giving her the bowtie so that she would calm down because he could see the situation with Claire and Melendez being at the store made her nervous.

»Why are you giving me this for?« Morgan asked confused holding the bowtie in her hand.

»Well, if you are taking the space in this cabin I am planning on making you useful,« Henry said sitting down on the chair to make it easier for her to put on the bowtie.

»You're taking advantage of the situation,« Morgan said and stepped closer.

»I don't hear you complaining too much about it,« Henry whispered and smiled enjoying her presence and their flirtatious vibe.

As she was standing in front of him, tying the bowtie he wished he could touch her but he held back.

»Perfect,« Morgan whispered when she was done and she didn't even realize that she rested her hands on his shoulders.

»Don't worry about Claire. She'll understand. It was just an innocent lie,« Henry suddenly said and Morgan put some distance between them again leaning against the door.

»There aren't big or small, bad or innocent lies with her. There are just lies,« she said and closed her eyes knowing that the storm is getting closer.

***

**A few minutes earlier …**

Claire and Neil walked into a store full of tuxedos.

»Now this is how heaven looks like for you, right?« Claire said looking around being in this store for the first time.

She never went with anyone to buy a tuxedo.

»Well, this,« Neil said showing with his hands around the store, »is heaven and like Andrews would say a man's natural habitat,« Neil answered and Claire laughed.

»I wonder what he will wear. He probably bought his evening attire a month ago,« Claire said touching the tuxedo in front of her already imagining how Neil will look in one of these elegant tuxedos that surrounded them.

»Do you remember the Gala when you were a first-year resident?« Neil asked her.

»Of course. Why?«

»I wore a tuxedo that was … it was a three-year-old tuxedo. I mean I wore it once before that Gala at another hospital event and Andrews actually noticed that. He was like … _you can't afford a new tuxedo? Neil, what's wrong with you? You can't wear a tuxedo twice with going to events that are attended practically by the same people_ ,« Neil said imitating Andrews and Claire laughed out loud.

»Maybe you should go with the same tuxedo this year as well just to see how he will react,« Claire said.

»I don't dare to do that. He will call fashion police to throw me out,« Neil said and Claire again laughed.

»Neil, with the dress you bought me nobody will even look at you,« Claire said squeezing herself closer to him.

»Ouch, that hurts,« Neil said at her words and Claire smiled and him again stealing a kiss from him.

»You are really taking advantage of this day,« Neil said smiling looking down at her face feeling her body pressed to his.

»I love having you all to myself and I absolutely love to be able to do whatever I want without being careful on how I behave around you,« Claire said.

»Yeah, me too,« Neil answered and Claire felt how Neil's hand slid from her back to her bum and squeezed it gently.

»Neil!«

»What?« he said winking at her and then again looked at the tuxedos in front of him.

As they were looking at the elegant and breathtaking clothing pieces in front of them Claire randomly looked up and at the first moment, she thought that she didn't see right but no, she saw just fine. It was Morgan standing in front of one of the cabins looking like a deer in front of the headlights. She saw how she quickly opened up the door of the cabin sneaking inside like she wanted to hide.

»That little liar,« Claire whispered thinking that Morgan probably isn't with her brother because why would she hide like this if she was.

»What?« she heard Neil that was now looking at her and she just shook her head.

»Just … keep on looking for the tux, I'll be right back,« Claire said and already started to move toward the cabins.

Neil looked as she went toward the cabins and he kept looking from afar trying to figure out what is going on.

Claire stood for a few moments in front of the cabin that Morgan has disappeared in and heard not only one familiar voice, Morgan's, but also a voice from someone else that was known to her, and a smile appeared on her face. She gently knocked on the cabin door and waited. For a second nothing happened. Voices in the cabin got quiet and she could imagine that Morgan was thinking about how she could save herself from this situation. The doors slowly opened and Morgan stepped out without opening them fully like she was trying to hide the other person that was inside.

»Morgan,« Claire said looking at her.

»Claire.«

»What a coincidence. Us being at the same shopping mall without even knowing, right?« Claire said relaxed as if she wasn't suspecting anything on what was going on.

»Yes, it really is,« Morgan said trying to hide how nervous she is.

»So, how's your brother? Is he buying a tux?«

There was a moment of silence between them.

»No,« Morgan said in defeat.

»No? Then what are you doing here? Or better yet, with whom are you here?« Claire asked and now a mischievous smile was on her face.

»Claire, I…«

»Are you with him?« Claire jumped in with an excited look on her face.

»With who?«

»Who, who … you know who. Mr. Muscle,« Claire said raising up her arm pretending she is flexing her muscles.

»Stop it. God, you are so childish,« Morgan said and Claire laughed.

»Me? I'm childish? You are the one who is hiding from me in a changing cabin. I at least hope you walked in on him shirtless … or just in boxers. Uuu, maybe you just wanted to took advantage of this situation between us to see his glutes,« Claire said and Morgan hit her upper arm.

»Shut up. You are not allowed to judge since you are banging your boss in the on-call room,« Morgan said trying to shift the conversation.

»Oh don't, don't you try to get yourself out of this by making me feel guilty because it won't work. Plus, since I was honest with you about me » _banging my boss in the on-call room_ « I expected you to trust me with your own dirty details,« Claire said.

»There are no dirty details to tell,« Morgan whispered.

»Yet,« Claire added.

»Listen, I didn't want to tell you bec…«

»Oh, no. You don't have to explain anything to me right now. You will tell me everything, every single detail on Monday,« Claire said.

»What's going on you two?« they suddenly heard Neil that came toward them.

»Melendez,« Morgan greeted him with a smile, and Neil that was standing behind Claire also had a smile on his face already assuming what is going on.

»Morgan and dr. White are spending a Saturday together,« Claire said looking at him and then back at Morgan that rolled her eyes.

»Is that so …« Neil said pretending he has no idea Morgan and Henry were already dating and Morgan shook her head at the situation she found herself in.

»Dr. White, why don't you show us the tux you've chosen?« Neil said out loud so that Henry would hear it clearly in the cabin and Morgan looked at Neil with a look that could kill.

The door of the cabin slowly opened.

»Dr. Browne, dr. Melendez,« Henry greeted them and Claire looked at Morgan with a mischievous look again.

»That is a perfectly tied bowtie,« Neil said.

»Yeah, Morgan is a pro,« Henry blurted out and Morgan turned on her heels and looked at him in astonishment.

»What?« Henry said with innocence in his voice and looked toward Neil and Claire that were grinning from ear to ear.

»No dirty details, hm?« Claire asked Morgan that blushed from her neck up.

»There is nothing dirty about tying a bowtie,« Morgan defended herself.

»Well, she can make anything dirty,« Neil suddenly said and now Claire looked with astonishment at him and Morgan grinned.

»Don't you have a tuxedo to pick out?« Claire asked Neil seriously and he smiled at her serious expression.

»Yes ma'am,« he answered and once more looked at Morgan and Henry.

»Enjoy your day,« he said and then again went to look for his tux.

»Yes, ma'am?« Morgan teased Claire that rolled her eyes.

»Shut up.«

»Does him saying that turn you on? I knew that you're not so innocent as you look,« Morgan said glad that Claire didn't seem angry too much for her not telling her about Henry.

Claire looked at Henry.

»I really hope that you are going to be able to tame her,« Claire said to him and Henry smiled at her words.

»If she'll let me,« he answered and Claire smiled at Morgan nudging her with her elbow.

»Did you hear that?« she teased her and Morgan just wanted to dig a hole into the ground and hide.

Morgan suddenly heard that she got a message. She took out the phone and opened it.

 **Dr. Melarrogant:** _Busted!_ 😂 _If you planned everything that just went down, it wouldn't unfold as it did now that it was a coincidence._

 **Morgan:** _What if you called your ma'am to go and help you with picking out your tux, hm?_ 😏

»Aren't you supposed to help your boss with picking out a tux for himself?« Morgan asked Claire as she sent the message to Neil.

»I will as soon as I decide that I tortured you enough.«

»Claire! C'mon baby, I need your help here,« she suddenly heard Neil calling out for her.

»Baby? I'm dying here. You two are such a cliché,« Morgan said and laughed while Henry just observed them not reacting since he still wasn't so close with them as they were and he still kept a professional distance.

»You're lucky he's calling for me,« Claire said to Morgan with a smile on her face.

»Enjoy the rest of your day ma'am,« Morgan said and Claire rolled her eyes.

»You two as well. See you both on Monday,« Claire said and turned around to join Neil.

»By the way, gorgeous dress!« Morgan screamed behind her knowing that she made her bought it and Claire did a turn in the dress with pride to show off with it to Morgan.

As she walked back Morgan waved behind her back to get Neil's attention and articulated a thank you for rescuing her from a friend who enjoyed teasing her.

»They are sooo different outside of work,« Henry said looking at Morgan and then toward Neil and Claire that were approached by a man to help them choose the tux.

»I love seeing them like this. I seriously don't know how they manage to hide all this idiotic love at the hospital,« Morgan said.

»Well, it's called being professional,« Henry said shrugging his shoulders.

»About that, being professional. What was that?«

»What was what?«

»Morgan is a pro …« Morgan imitated his words with his deep voice, lightly pulled his bowtie and Henry laughed.

»Sorry, I didn't know that Browne has a dirty mind. Plus, how is it that she can turn a simple, nice gesture of tying someone's bowtie into a dirty one?« Henry said in his defense and Morgan rolled her eyes.

»Well, I don't know but I guess Melendez just has that effect on her,« she said grinning and Henry shook his head.

»I had no idea that working on his team is going to be so much fun. I get to pick his brilliant brain and have fun at the same time. You really are an interesting group of people,« Henry said leaning against the cabin.

»Tell me about it,« Morgan whispered and then noticed how the shirt he had on fits him perfectly.

»Do you still want me to get you that shirt from before in the bigger size because this shirt looks perfect,« Morgan said with approval.

»I think that this one is the one. It's perfect,« Henry said stepping in front of the mirror and looking for the last time that he is sure about his choice.

»It is,« Morgan agreed and they both smiled at each other.

»Well, since you insisted that we buy my clothes first, now it's finally your turn. Time to buy you a pair of dancing shoes,« Henry said and Morgan smiled back at him thinking that she is really enjoying this afternoon with him and at the same time being glad that Claire wasn't as angry as she expected her to be.

Claire couldn't wait for Neil to finally try on the tuxedos he had chosen. The salesman that was helping them really paid attention to them and the whole process of picking out Neil's suit was similar to when they were choosing the dress for her. Neil was right. This shopping spree of theirs made Claire really excited about the approaching Gala on Saturday, but at the same time, deep inside of her, she was afraid of what it would all look like. It was the first event at the hospital since she and Neil were together. How will others react when they will saw Neil bringing her to the room under his arm? It’s true that everyone knew about them, people probably also expected them to come together, but Claire will never forget that some of these people were not fond of their relationship at the beginning. The hospital is huge and many of the doctors from different fields and specialties that never worked with her don't know her as an excellent surgical resident. For them, she was just a resident who charmed her boss and made her way through his bed to the position of Chief Resident. Even if the rumors have faded, calmed down, the opinions of some have still not changed. It didn’t matter that she and Neil had been together for a year, that they had gone through hell so that they can even be together at all. They saw only that he was her superior, she his subordinate, and that their relationship was inappropriate. Neil always tried to reassure her about it, because he was convinced that people who don't want to change their opinion about them never will, even if you prove yourself countless times to them and actually succeed in proving them the opposite of what they think. They will keep on living in their own world with their own narrow-minded opinions. It wasn't just her that was the subject of rumors. Neil also got his own share of them but with him people kind of started rumors in the context of a joke. She will never forget one moment when Neil was standing at the nurse's station and she was taking care of one of the patients in the room. A senior doctor pated Neil on his back, interrupting what she thought was a funny conversation between Neil and the nurse since they were both laughing at something, and she heard that doctor saying … _God Melendez, you are in a chipper mood this morning. I guess I also need to find myself a cute little resident that will be willing to entertain me and make my mornings better …_ and then just walked away. First, she could see the shock on Neil's face, then just anger and frustration. He followed that doctor but until today she still doesn't know what he said to him. She also didn't follow him back then because he told her that she shouldn't intervene in such situations because it would make everything even worse and that he will handle them. He always wanted to protect her from it but there were also times when he couldn't because he didn't even know about certain situations she found herself in.

***

_She was on organ pick-up. The ambulance took her to O'Connor San Jose Hospital and now she was waiting so that the person in charge of the liver brings it to her. She was already nervous because they were limited by time and she didn't want to come back to St. Bonaventure at the last minute. What was taking so long, she asked herself while she was pacing up and down the waiting room where the nurse sent her to wait in peace. She was looking through the window when she heard the door opening. Turning around she froze. You have got to be kidding me, she thought to herself._

_»Well, well, will you look at what the cat dragged in,« she heard an annoying arrogant voice._

_»Dr. Coyle,« Claire greeted him feeling like she just wants to rip that little cool box with the liver inside from his hands and just leave the room as soon as possible._

_»Why so cold? Aren't you glad to see me?«_

_»I really don't have time for this. I need to get this liver to St. Bonaventure in half an hour,« Claire said calmly not letting him provoke her._

_»Oh, I wouldn't worry. There's still time. Plus, I'm sure your boss will understand and won't hold it against you.«_

_»Just give me the papers that I have to sign so I can go,« Claire insisted keeping the distance between them and Coyle leaned against the wall with a grin on his face._

_»You know, I get it. You didn't want to sleep with me because you really wouldn't have any advantages because of me. But Melendez … well, you're a smart girl. I must say that now I am even more disappointed I wasn't able to fuck you at least once. You're probably good in a sack because how on earth would you be successful at seducing a moral and always by the book Neil Melendez if you weren't,« Coyle said and Claire felt her heart beating in her chest like crazy._

_»Are you done?« she asked trying not to show him how his words affected her._

_She was used to hearing her whole life from other people, including her own mother, saying that she will never be loved by anyone, that she's worth nothing, that she's a burden. Men came and left her life practically at the same time. What pissed her off is that now, when Coyle is talking to her in this way, she didn't even sleep with Neil yet. She was really struggling with sex at this point of her life, she was solving it out slowly with her therapist and felt she made some progress when it comes to her fear of messing everything up if she sleeps with Neil. This situation with Coyle which she found herself in right now didn't help her healing process. She again felt worthless. He made her feel like sex is the only thing she can give to someone. Fucking bastard. She pushed the bad feeling away telling herself that he's not right. Neil loves her for so many things. He always made sure to let her know how much he loves her. She can't let people get under her skin._

_»Did I hit the nerve?« she heard Coyle that now started approaching her._

_»Don't you dare step any closer,« Claire said when he didn't stop at an appropriate distance._

_»What will you do? Call Melendez?« he asked as he grabbed her by the upper arm._

_»Let go of me,« she said trying to pull away but couldn't._

_»I wonder where would you be if you weren't shagging him. You were probably fucking him already back then when I invited you out. Shame you said no to me, I wouldn't mind being number two on your list since I just wanted to have a little bit of fun with you,« he hissed and Claire suddenly felt rage that engulfed her body._

_»Tell me something, why would I lower my standards so you could fit into them if, on the other hand, I have a Melendez to shag, hm?« she hissed into his face and saw how his jaw clenched._

_»You little bitch,« he hissed and at that point, the door of the waiting room opened and the nurse stepped in since she needed this moron for something or at least she pretended to need him because Claire could see the worry in her eyes._

_The nurse probably saw through the glass walls of the waiting room the something is not right._

_»Everything ok?«_

_»Yes, dr. Coyle was just handing me the papers to sign so I can leave,« Claire said and Coyle gave her the papers that she checked to make sure everything is ok and then quickly sign them._

_When she was finally back at the ambulance driving back toward St. Bonaventure she finally gave in and started crying not caring about what the paramedic that was sitting next to her will think._

***

»Babe, where are you again?« she heard Neil asking and looked at him confused.

»Sorry, I was just thinking about Serena and Josh. I hope they are ok,« Claire lied about what she was thinking about.

»Hey, no work thoughts. Audrey is keeping eye on them, don't worry,« Neil said and gently stroked her upper arm and Claire smiled at him.

»So, are you ready to try these on?« Claire said seeing three tuxedos that were waiting for Neil.

»Yes, let's go. I told the guy to leave us because he wanted to dance around me the whole time. I really don't need him until I pick the tux out so he just makes the adjustments,« Neil said and Claire nodded.

»Enjoy the view,« she suddenly heard Morgan whispering in her ear appearing out of nowhere and Claire giggled at her words.

»You two leaving?« she asked as Morgan and Henry were already a few steps away and Morgan turned and nodded.

»I have to buy myself dancing shoes,« she said and Claire smiled loving the happy and playful Morgan in front of her.

»You need a dancing partner then as well,« Neil said.

»Are you volunteering boss?« Morgan teased him and Neil rolled his eyes.

»She has a dancing partner boss,« Henry said smiling and Claire winked at Morgan as Henry said that.

»See you both on Monday,« Morgan said trying to get out of the store before they again start teasing her.

»God, I have never seen Morgan like this,« Neil said and Claire smiled.

»You know, I am happy for her but I worry about the whole serial killer thing. I have no idea what is happening with this investigation or how serious it actually is,« Claire said and Neil nodded.

»Well, we really can't do anything about it,« Neil said and shrugged his shoulders.

»Yeah …« Claire said in defeat realizing that Neil is right but then looked at him and smiled.

»Nooow, I want to see you in these tuxedos.«

When they came into the cabin Claire leaned against the wall as Neil started to take off his clothes.

»Why is it that you love me?« she asked and Neil slowly put down the shirt he just took off and looked at her confused.

»Why I love you?« he asked and stepped closer to her.

»If you had to choose one thing that makes you love me, what would it be?«

Neil looked at her carefully and put his hands on her hips.

»I can't pick just one,« he said smiling and Claire's hands slowly made their way to his bare chest and then rested there for a moment one of her fingers gently following the lines of his tattoo.

»But if you had to …«

»Amm, let's see … Happiness? Yes, the happiness I feel when I'm around you. Your love makes me happy, makes me feel good. I don't remember when was the last time I was so happy before you. Never really. I thought I was but now … being in a relationship with you … I know I wasn't happy back then. I am now. And I feel like I can do anything because of it, achieve anything I want because I am satisfied with my life right now. Because of you,« Neil said and Claire smiled.

»You make me happy too,« she whispered and Neil looked at her for a few seconds then leaned down to kiss her.

She really was a shopping buddy that every guy could just wish for. Claire's hands found their way to his back and as his kiss got more demanding she dug her fingers into his skin pulling him closer.

»We are unbelievable,« Neil whispered as his lips moved from her lips leaving kisses on her cheek and then getting busy against her neck.

»Why do you say that?« Claire asked shutting her eyes, frowning her eyebrows at the pleasure that Neil's lips awoken up in her body.

»How is it that we can't control ourselves for a few hours? It's ridiculous,« Neil whispered.

»When are we going to be crazy about each other if not now? We won't be able to break the bed when we're seventy,« Claire said with a smile feeling Neil is getting a little bit out of control by the way his hands started to roam her body.

Neil laughed at her words.

»Speak for yourself. I am still going to be able to break the bed at seventy,« he said and Claire giggled.

»Of course,« she uttered breathless getting more and more lost in the closeness of Neil's body, and suddenly she felt how he started pulling up the fabric of her dress.

»Shit, Neil, what are you doing?« she said Neil's lips again finding hers.

»What do you think?« he whispered into her mouth.

»Are you crazy?« she whispered breaking the kiss but Neil immediately occupied his lips with another part of her body not really listening to her.

»Mhm, for you …«

»Neil,« she whispered trying to get his attention.

»Shhh.«

»Neil, I'm serious, stop,« she said giggling trying to get the fabric of the dress free from his hands.

»You are the one who started this before babe. You teased me, showered me with kisses, led me on standing practically naked in front of me, and now I am out of control. Did you really think your teasing won't have consequences? This is your fault,« Neil said and Claire again giggled.

»No, seriously Neil, we can't do this here,« Claire insisted and gathered all of her will-power to get his hands off of her and she gently pushed him away.

»God Claire,« Neil whispered with a smile on his face leaning against the wall across from her.

»I can't do this here. It's a freaking changing cabin,« she said and started fixing her dress.

»That dress is going to end up on the floor as soon as we get home,« Neil said looking at Claire.

»You promise?«

»Yes, I promise,« Neil said smiling and took a deep breath shaking his head to collect himself.

Claire reached for the white shirt that she liked best. All of the buttons were hidden under the soft shirt's material and it looked really elegant because of it.

»C'mon, let's try this one first,« she said holding it for him and he stepped closer and pushed his hands into the sleeves.

As he started to button up Claire stepped in front of him.

»Let me,« she whispered and carefully started buttoning up the shirt.

Neil had a little smile on his face the whole time as her fingers confidently did the work. He observed her face and by the expression on her face, he could see that she was taking her task of buttoning up the shirt very seriously. She looked concentrated as if she was performing surgery. As she was almost done Neil leaned down and left a quick kiss on her lips.

»Hey! Stop stealing my kisses,« she said in playful protest as she buttoned the last button.

»You can always steal them back,« Neil answered her as he turned to face the mirror.

»This shirt is really nice,« Claire whispered her hands roaming Neil's back as she tried to correct it.

»Yes, it really is. Ok, now, the main thing. The tuxedo,« he said and sighed like choosing a tuxedo is the most difficult thing he has to do and Claire laughed at his concerned face.

»Baby, you will look good in each of these, don't look so desperate,« Claire said laughing at his expression.

»Look who's talking. A woman that will look more than perfect next to me.«

»Am I feeling a little bit of insecurity coming from you right now? Where is the arrogance?«

»It's not insecurity. It's just that I like all of the tuxedos and now I have to choose just one. It's like if I would ask you to buy just one pair of shoes which is a mission impossible for you. You buy at least two pairs or more. Furthermore, don't worry babe, your sugar daddy still has plenty of arrogance in him,« Neil said playfully as he reached for the first tuxedo.

»Good,« Claire said and observed how he got dressed.

»Who thought you will like my arrogance one day,« he said catching her gaze in the mirror and then turned to her so she could get a better look at him.

Claire approached him and gently touched the lapels of his tuxedo jacket.

»I like everything about you,« Claire whispered and took the bowtie to complete the look.

»So, let's see if I know how to tie this thing as perfect as Morgan,« she said smiling.

»Don't choke me,« Neil whispered teasing her as she tried to tie the bowtie.

»Shut up,« Claire said back with a smile on her face and looked up at his face.

»And stop looking at me like that.«

»Like what?« Neil asked patiently waiting she finishes adjusting the bowtie.

»Like you want to jump my bones off.«

»But I do want to jump your bones off,« he said and Claire laughed thinking how stupid they are to act like this.

»And I'm done,« Claire said, put her hands on his shoulders and turned him to face the mirror.

»What do you think?« he asked her and Claire got really excited because of him asking for her opinion.

She never helped anyone to buy a tuxedo and doing this with him made her feel special but then again, he always makes her feel special.

»I like it, it looks amazing but honestly, I am kind of rooting for this one,« Claire said and touched one of the tuxedos that were still waiting for Neil to try it on.

As Neil stood dressed in a tuxedo that was truly just perfect Claire just stood there, leaning on the wall of the cabin observing him. The tuxedo was breathtaking.

»Why do you think babe? I think this is the one. Look at these satin details,« Neil said and touched the sating buttons.

»You and me … we will take people's breaths away on Saturday,« Claire said smiling already imagining how she will look in that gorgeous dress of hers next to him.

»You think?«

»Oh yes, definitely,« Claire said but then got serious and Neil immediately noticed that.

He stepped closer to her.

»What's this worried face all about?« he asked her and gently rubbed her cheek.

»I look forward to Saturday …« Claire started.

»I sense there's a but coming up,« Neil said and Claire sighed.

She touched the lapels of the tuxedo and slowly pulled him closer looking up at him.

»I'm scared,« she said and Neil immediately knew that something has to really bother her if she had to admit this to him because she usually just wants to process everything on her own just like him.

»Of what?«

»People.«

»People?«

»Everything is so good between us at this point. We live together, we finally know how to balance work and our relationship, we don't fight like we used to, I have a feeling that our relationship finally isn't front-page news,« Claire said.

»You're scared that on Saturday our relationship is again gonna become front-page news of St. Bonaventure since we're gonna attend it as a couple?«

»Yes,« Claire admitted.

»Claire, I honestly think that most of them don't even care about us anymore. We are old news. We were interesting to people at the beginning because well … I was always one of the few attending surgeons that didn't get involved with a resident until you, you were a soft-touch they couldn't picture together with an arrogant ass like me since they don't know other parts of me, they were interested in the drama they thought they will get with us as a couple but when the drama didn't happen due to us being overly professional, they got bored. It's going to be fine,« Neil said touching the strand of her hair remembering the part of his nightmare when he thought that he will never have the chance to touch her hair.

»You really think so?«

»I do. Plus, c'mon, it's not like we are going to make out in front of them. We are going to be just next to each other, my hands are going to be on appropriate parts of your body, don't worry, we are not going to act like in these changing cabins today that make us all touchy-feely. We'll drink, eat, dance. It's going to be perfect,« Neil said playfully, and Claire couldn't help but smile.

»I hope you're right.«

»Listen, don't worry about it. We made it so far. Honestly, even if someone will give a remark about us … I don't even care because that tells more about them than us. We've been through so much already and we won, our relationship won every time. It won't be any different in the future.«

»You are right about that,« Claire said thinking that their relationship really was put through a lot already.

»Plus, if we are going to stand at the opposites sides of the room pretending like we don't know each other it will be even weirder. Then they would talk that there are troubles in paradise,« Neil said rolling his eyes and Claire smiled at his remark thinking that with some people you really can't win no matter what you do.

After Clair and Neil picked out the tuxedo Neil stood on a small round stage as the man took measurements to adjust the tuxedo. Claire was sitting behind them in a comfortable armchair observing. Every now and then her and Neil's gaze met and Claire couldn't help a little satisfied smile forming on his lips at the sight of him. She could see that he was enjoying all of her attention. She was getting more and more excited about the Saturday Gala even though she was still a little bit concerned but Neil was probably right. It's going to be fine and they are going to spend a lovely evening in the company of people who know them and support them. For those who don't, well, they are not important, she tried to tell herself. As Neil was done he stepped off that little stage back into the cabin again.

»So, Mr. Armani, you sure you made the right choice?« Claire teased him and Neil nodded with a boyish smile on his face.

»Yes, Miss Lauren, I am satisfied with my choice.«

»C'mon undress and give me the shirt,« Claire suddenly said.

»Why? Plus, don't you want to join me in the cabin again to make out some more? This is probably your last chance today,« he teased her.

»I am still planning on buying some clothes for work so this is not my last chance. C'mon, give me the shirt,« Claire insisted and Neil took it off and handed it to her seeing Claire immediately leaving and it made him curious what she's up to.

Claire slowly went to the other side of the store where the accessories were. She stepped in front of the glass showcase where the cufflinks were. She was now approached by a woman.

»Would you like to look at them up-close?« she politely asked her.

»Yes, please. I was looking at these silver squared ones before,« she said.

The woman gave her the cufflinks so she could look at them up-close and Claire took the sleeve of the shirt and tried them on to see how it looks.

»That's really nice. These ones are really special due to their squared shape and ridged pattern of little geometric squares on the surface. And they are going to shine perfectly under the lights due to rhodium plating material.«

»Babe, what are you looking at?« she suddenly heard Neil and felt his hand at her lower back.

»Cufflinks.«

»But I have cufflinks,« Neil said.

»And I have a bunch of dresses and you still bought me one, so …«

Neil smiled at her remark.

»Do you like these?« Claire asked and showed him the shirt's sleeve with the cufflink.

»Yes, these are really nice.«

»You sure? Now you can still choose. Once I buy them it's over.«

»You want to buy me these?«

»Yes.«

»No.«

»Yes,« Claire said seriously and looked at him with determination.

»Claire …«

»If you don't let me buy these for you this dress of mine is gonna stay on when we come home. No fun for you,« she whispered to him and Neil laughed.

»You really want to buy me the cufflinks?«

»Yes, I really want to buy them for you,« she said touching the cufflinks with the tips of her fingers.

»Fine. These ones are really nice, very elegant. I like them,« Neil said confirming her choice.

»Ok,« she said satisfied.

Leaving the store Claire went searching for a restroom. As Neil was waiting with a small bag in his hand where his cufflinks were carefully stored in a box he suddenly heard a familiar voice.

»Dr. Melendez?«

»Marta, Noreen, hi,« he greeted two women that were now smiling at him.

»It's so great to see you,« Marta's wife said and offered him her hand that Neil took in his.

»You too,« he answered and tried to hide the discomfort that started to creep into his body as he was looking at two women that were a big reminder of what happened at the brewery a year ago.

This feeling again, why doesn't it go away already, he thought to himself and tried to control the discomfort that started consuming his body. He shouldn't feel this way. Marta and Noreen have nothing to do with what happened to him, he tried to tell himself but failed miserably hoping that Claire will come back fast so that they can just continue their way in their bubble of happiness where everything was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I hope you liked the chapter. Please, let me know what you think about it in the comment section. ❤️🤗


	22. I need you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Neil handle the encounter with Marta and Noreen? What is it that makes him uncomfortable? Neil and Claire continue their shopping and Claire is worried about him knowing that she needs to take care of him. Will he talk to her about how he feels?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> Here it is. The last chapter of the shopping spree. It's a little bit more serious in comparison to the previous two chapters because you are going to be able to read about Neil's struggles and fears. Claire is going to be the one that will comfort him.
> 
> A real treat in this chapter is Claire's memory about how she met Neil's parents. I love this part of the chapter and I really hope you will love it too! 😍
> 
> This time I also have a task for you. While you read pay attention if you will notice what is it that I included in this chapter and it has to do with Nicholas's life. I am a big fan of Nicholas since before he played Neil and I wonder if you will notice this little part of his life that I included in this chapter. 😊 
> 
> Have a great read and please, leave a comment in the comment section. It means a lot if you do. 🤗
> 
> Sarah

Neil couldn't relax. He was standing in front of two women that were nice and friendly, looking at him with affection for everything he did for them, but he just couldn't delete pictures from his head from the time when he was at Marta's brewery and when he collapsed in front of it.

»You know, I thought that if you promise to someone that they have free drinks for life at their disposal, especially since it's beer, that they are going to visit you more often,« Marta said to him jokingly.

»It's … I'm crazy busy with work and … there's just a lot going on right now,« Neil answered not wanting to discuss why he almost never visits the brewery.

»I understand but my promise still stands, don't forget it,« Marta said and Neil just nodded faking a smile still feeling the discomfort even though he tried to tell himself that he shouldn't feel like this.

»We didn't see each other … for six months? Are you and Claire still together?« Noreen asked.

»Yes, we are still together,« Neil answered with a smile, and this time the smile was genuine.

»I knew it. I knew from the moment at the brewery when you worked together operating on Marta that there is something between you two and that it's just a matter of time when you are going to end up together,« Noreen said with a smile on her face.

»Well, it took us a while but we managed to find a way toward one another.«

»It was inevitable. The way you two were looking at each other. Claire probably doesn't know that I noticed because she tried to hide it but I will never forget those heart eyes of hers with which she looked at you after that compliment you gave her,« Noreen said all excited.

»Dear, stop teasing him, you see that it makes him uncomfortable,« Marta said to her wife with a smile on her face thinking that talking about his relationship is what makes him uncomfortable.

»Hey you two,« Neil suddenly heard Claire's voice and he looked at her as she stood by him feeling relieved she's back.

»Dr. Browne,« both women greeted her.

»Please, Claire,« she said with a friendly smile.

»We were just talking with dr. Melendez that you two should come to that free beer I promised you. Maybe you could convince him to take a little time off from work,« Marta said to her and Claire looked at Neil and immediately noticed that he was tense.

His gaze was all over the place and he looked at everyone except Marta and Noreen. Claire knew something is not right. She gently took his hand in hers to get his attention and at her touch, he looked at her. She could see the panic in his eyes.

»Well, it's hard to get this one from work. And he drags me with him, being my boss and all,« Claire answered with a small smile not wanting to say anything that will make them think they will come to have that beer because she could feel that Neil, by the way he was acting right now, didn't want to go.

»Listen, did you two had lunch already? We were just on our way to one of the restaurants next to this shopping mall. We've heard the food is to die for. Would you like to join? It's our treat,« Noreen asked and Claire could feel how Neil squeezed her hand in nervousness.

»Thank you for inviting us but we already have plans for lunch at my friend's house,« Claire lied.

»Of course, we understand, maybe next time,« Marta said and nodded.

»Well, have a great day you two,« Noreen said taking Marta's hand and as they said their goodbyes both couples continued their ways.

As Claire slowly walked down the mall firmly holding Neil's hand in hers not really knowing where they are headed she looked at him with the corner of her eye every now and then. He looked lost and he didn't say anything at all. She didn't know exactly what upset him this much. She knew that it has something to do with Marta and Noreen since they were a link with the earthquake but she didn't know what was happening in Neil's mind. She was worried because for at least three months Neil seemed more at peace. The nightmares stopped and with that his sleepless nights, she could see the change in him and how he slowly started recovering from what happened to him. His state of mind really was improving until this morning when she noticed as soon as she saw him in the kitchen that something isn't the same. And now this … meeting Marta and Noreen. Life was again reminding him of his past. Claire led them to the cafe which had comfortable armchairs and two-seaters inside and surprisingly there was not a lot of people in at that moment. She led them to one of the corners of the cafe that seemed a little more private and Neil threw himself into a comfy two-seater, resting one of his arms on the armrest pinching his nose like he had a headache and he sighed deeply. Then he rested his head against his hand.

»Hi, what can I get you?«

»Can we please get two black coffees, one chocolate croissant, and a bottle of cold water?« Claire ordered and the waitress nodded.

As they were alone again Claire sat down next to Neil, scooted closer, lifting up her hand, and gently caressed his temple and Neil closed his eyes at the touch. Claire didn't say anything because now she already knew that if she tries to get him to talk too soon he closes up even more. He was like her in that department. She also wasn't big on talking about how she feels and the more pressured she feels, the harder it is for her to open up so she just sat there next to him caressing his temple, trying to make him relax as she waited that the waitress comes back with their order.

»Here you go. Enjoy,« the waitress said.

»Thank you.«

Claire poured Neil a glass of cold water and handed it to him. When he took it, she noticed that his hand was slightly shaking. Someone else wouldn't have noticed, but she knew him better than she knew herself. She observed him as he drank and when he put the glass down on the table she slowly began to push the plate with chocolate croissant toward him. She saw the corners of his lips rise into a slight smile.

»I knew it. Chocolate always makes you feel better,« Claire whispered and smiled at him.

»Sorry …« Neil said and he didn't even have to say what he is sorry for because Claire knew that he is always apologizing when he doesn't feel ok and thinks that he is ruining their happy moments with his struggles.

»You have nothing to be sorry for. C'mon, eat. This croissant is desperate for someone to eat it. Don't you see with how much want it looks at you?« Claire said and gently nudged Neil's arm with her elbow and with that she got another smile from him.

»Ok, I will eat,« Neil said and took a bite.

»This is really good,« he said with a full mouth and then took a sip of coffee.

Claire observed him, soothed him with her hand gently traveling over his back, and every now and then she touched his hair at the back of his neck.

»You want a bite?« he asked and she just gave him a small smile and shook her head letting him enjoy his chocolate croissant to the last bite.

As he finished eating she leaned on his shoulder with her chin and looked at his profile.

»You have …« she whispered and raised her hand to wipe away the chocolate from the corner of his lips with her palm and brought it back to her mouth.

»You taste sweet,« she whispered and Neil looked at her leaning down to her face, and gave her a gentle kiss.

»Better?« she whispered.

»How is it that you always know how to make me feel better?« he asked putting his hand on her knee.

»Honestly, I don't know, I just try my best to be here for you and I hope it helps,« she said realizing that she really never thinks about the actions she takes to help him.

It's like she just knows deep down what she has to do to make him feel better even if it is just a caress on his back or buying him a chocolate croissant.

»It does help,« he whispered and kissed her one more time.

He reached for the water again and Claire observed him carefully.

»Neil?«

»What?«

»Not to push you or anything but … do you want to talk about what happened when you ran into Marta and Noreen?« Claire asked carefully and Neil sighed at her question.

»Not now babe, maybe later,« he said and Claire nodded.

»Now I just want to go to that store you mentioned before and have a great time with you,« he said as he moved her hair from the front to her back adjusting it gently thinking how soft and nice they feel under his fingertips.

They again fell silent and suddenly Claire saw a smile on Neil's face.

»What are you smiling about?«

»When I talked to my mother this morning …«

»Yes?«

»She was telling me that I need to take good care of you,« Neil said and looked at Claire that now had her arm wrapped around his upper arm and was leaning herself closer to him.

»She always does that,« she whispered back thinking about the several times when the two of them visited his parents.

»She does. But she also said something else,« Neil said looking at her.

»What?«

»That you are taking good care of me too. That I always sound happy whenever I call her.«

»She said that?« Claire asked and suddenly a big smile appeared on her face.

»Yes, she did.«

»Really?«

»Why are you so surprised?« Neil asked and smiled back.

»I don't know, it's just … you know that I was scared to be in a relationship with you because I never really had anything serious. I didn't know if I will know how to be someone's girlfriend, how to be there for someone. Andi if your mother says that I make you happy and that I am good at taking care of you, well, then I am definitely doing something right. Your mother wouldn't just say that if she didn't mean it,« Claire said and really felt happy deep within herself that his mother said that about her.

»No, she wouldn't,« Neil whispered with a smile on his face thinking that his mother was always very blunt and she always told the truth even if that meant that she had to criticize someone.

»It really means a lot to me that she likes me,« Claire said and Neil embraced her around her shoulder.

»Likes you? She adores you,« he said back smiling at her with that boyish smile of his, and Claire's heart skipped a beat at the sight of that smile and she felt calm that Neil is feeling better, she could feel it, see it on him.

Claire thought about his mother. They've seen each other five times in this last year since she was with Neil. Thinking about the past she remembered how she wanted to convince Neil that he would call his parents after the first and then also after the second surgery but he didn't want to worry them so he just called them like it was just an ordinary day not even telling them he got hurt when the earthquake hit. He told them about what happened to him when he came back home from the hospital and Claire could hear through the phone how his mother screamed at him in Spanish for not telling them anything. She scolded him like he was fifteen years old teenager and not a man that is over his forty's. She was furious with him and Claire thought about how it feels when you have a parent that worries so much about you. She couldn't wait to meet them even if she was scared of it. The first time she met his parents was at their little home.

***

_»Baby, you think they will like me?« Claire asked Neil as they got off the plane at El Paso International Airport after a four-hour-long flight._

_»Claire, they will adore you,« Neil answered holding her hand slowly moving toward the baggage claim area._

_»How are you so sure?«_

_»Because I adore you and because you are the most lovable person in this world.«_

_»Maybe I am but that doesn't mean that your parents will feel the same about me as other people do. They are your parents and they are definitely going to pay attention to me trying to decide if I am good enough for you,« Claire said nervously biting her lip._

_»Babe, you have nothing to worry about. As long as I'm happy my parents won't interfere with our relationship, and I am happy. My mother will notice that a mile away and my father … believe me, he is already on your side even if he doesn't know you yet. He is going to act like he's your father asking if I make you happy,« Neil said comforting her and Claire smiled at his words._

_»You promise that I am going to survive meeting your parents?« she said and Neil laughed._

_»I promise I will bring you back to San Jose alive and well,« he said mocking her and Claire smiled taking a deep breath._

_»I've never met anyone's parents,« she whispered._

_»Babe, seriously, stop worrying about it. It's going to be fine. Plus, we are going to relax since we are going to be away from the city for two days and you are going to be able to run around with the dogs and chickens.«_

_»They have dogs and chickens?« Claire said getting excited like a little girl._

_»Yes, two dogs and five chickens. And as I said they live in this little cozy house completely away from the hustle and bustle of the city so we are going to be able to enjoy the peace, in the mornings we are going to wake up to birds singing, chickens screaming their throats out, that really gets on my nerves by the way, and with Bif and Cisco licking our faces,« Neil said getting excited himself to be at his parent's house again.«_

_»It really sounds perfect but first I need to win your parents over,« Claire said deciding that she will try her best to make them like her._

_As they drove in front of the house in a rental car, Claire stepped out and looked around. The house was like Neil said. Small, cute. Perfect house for two people that wanted to enjoy their peace. There was quite a lot of land around the house that was carefully cultivated. The lawn was perfectly moaned and it had perfect green colour, there was a lot of blooming flowers in the garden and also on the windows of the house. To the right of the house was a large pool, but it was not a classic pool. It completely blended in perfectly with the surroundings due to the design that made it looked like it's a pond. There was a lot of greenery around and on one side there were two sun loungers with a little table between them and a big umbrella above._

_»I just came to paradise,« Claire whispered taking in the surroundings._

_»It's beautiful, isn't it? It makes you wish you could just leave everything behind you, buy a house here and move away from all the stress and worry of our daily life, right?«_

_»Yes, it does,« Claire said looking at him._

_»When we are going to be old and tired of working I am going to buy us a house like this. And I will buy you a dog and two chickens,« Neil suddenly said and Claire smiled at his words remembering how she said to him in the past that if she only had six months to live she would spend the time in the little house in the middle of nowhere with two chickens and one dog away from everybody._

_She still thought the same but now she knew she would also want to have him by his side._

_»Sounds perfect,« she simply said and at that moment she saw two people stepping out of the house and with them two playful dogs that started running toward them._

_»Bif, Cisco, sit,« Claire heard Neil say and the two dogs sat next to him wiggling their tails as Neil patted both of the dogs._

_»Chiquito, finally you two are here!« Camila, Neil's mother said out loud from distance greeting them and as she came close immediately threw her arms around her son squeezing him into her embrace._

_»Madrecita, is good to see you,« he said and at that moment she let go of him and hit him on his upper arm and it wasn't just an innocent hit like Claire often did when he teased her, it was quite a strong hit that took Neil by surprise._

_»What was that for?!« he said surprised._

_»Don't you madrecita me, what were you thinking not telling me about your injury and how serious it was? I would get on the first plane to be next to you. I will never forgive you for this. And you coming to visit after three months? What took you so long?« Camila said scolding him like a child while waving her arms in the air trying to make her point._

_Neil looked at Claire confused and she could see he is expecting her help._

_»What are you looking at me? I agree with your mother. I told you already back then that you should call your parents,« Claire said shrugging her shoulders and Neil looked at her with disbelief in his eyes._

_He already opened his mouth to say something but his mother was faster._

_»Look at you! Finally! I can finally meet the girl my son worships so much. He can't stop talking about you,« Camila said and stepped toward Claire._

_»Mom, please, don't embarrass me,« Neil said and Claire laughed._

_»He's afraid that he won't be a man in your eyes anymore if you find out he was talking to me about you aaaall the time even before you two became a couple,« Camila said stepping in front of Claire looking toward her son._

_»Really? You have to tell me all about it,« Claire said teasing Neil a little more and Neil rolled his eyes._

_»Great, just great. I haven't even introduced you yet, and you are already conspiring against me.«_

_»What are you waiting for then? Introduce us,« Gabriel, his father finally opened his mouth looking at Claire with curiosity._

_»Mom, Dad, this is Claire, the girl I have been talking so much about,« Neil said and Claire giggled squeezing both of his parent's hands._

_»It's a pleasure to meet you,« Claire said politely and calmly even if she was crazy nervous on the inside._

_»The pleasure is ours. I am so excited to finally meet you,« Camila said stepping forward giving Claire a hug._

_»You know son, I don't get it,« his father said and took Claire's hands in his just like Neil often did._

_His father looked at Claire like he is studying her._

_»What is it that you don't get?« Neil asked and looked at Claire that had a curious smile on her face waiting for what Neil's father will say._

_»Look at her. She is a beauty. What does a young woman barely over thirty does with an old guy like you,« he said and Claire couldn't hold back a laugh._

_»Excuse me?« Neil said with a smile on his face and stepped closer to Claire._

_»C'mon Gabriel, only I can mock him, stop it. Plus, look at our son. Smart, kind, handsome. We did good. What's not to like?« Camila said smiling at her son that was now looking at his father with his hands on his hips._

_»Now I know where your confidence and arrogance comes from,« Claire whispered to Neil after his mother's remark and he smiled at her._

_»I'm just saying,« Gabriel said letting go of Claire's hands and raising them up in defense._

_»You are older than me, remember?« Camila reminded him._

_»Five years, not eleven.«_

_»Nice to see you to dad,« Neil said and stepped forward to embrace him._

_»It's good to see you. Your mother is right. You should have called us,« his dad said squeezing him into his embrace._

_»Yeah, I know but I didn't want to worry you.«_

_»Next time you have to call us if he is going to be stubborn,« Gabriel said to Claire and Claire nodded earning herself a disapproving look from Neil._

_»On which side are you?« Neil said with a smile pulling her closer wrapping his arm around her waist._

_»C'mon, let's go to the terrace behind the house. It's so hot here under the sun. You can take your suitcases with you. I already prepared you two the room,« Camila said._

_As they walked together toward the house two dogs were jumping around them. Bif looked especially interested in the new member of their family._

_»Bif, down, stop jumping all over her,« Neil said and tried to get the dog away from Claire._

_»It's fine,« Claire said, leaned down, and started petting the dog._

_Bif threw himself on his back with all of his four legs up in the air wiggling his tail._

_»Unbelievable,« Camila said looking at the sight in front of her._

_»What?« Claire asked looking up at her._

_»He … he is always distrustful when it comes to new faces,« she explained and looked at her son that shrugged his shoulders._

_»I told you. She's very lovable,« Neil said and smiled._

_»C'mon babe, let's find some shade,« Neil said taking Claire's hand in his._

_Before they sat down on the terrace and enjoyed lunch that Camila prepared for all of them Neil and Claire took their suitcases into the guest room. It was such a cute room. The walls were light grey and the furniture was made from white wood. In front of the large bed was a cupboard, on the wall above it was an antique mirror. There was also a bouquet of soft pink petunias on it. Claire stepped toward the cupboard and touched the flowers._

_»Hmm, should I buy you flowers since you look at this bouquet with so much admiration?« Neil teased her knowing she isn't big on romantic gestures._

_»How did I do?« Claire said not reacting to his remark being more worried about what his parents thought of her._

_Neil stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her waist._

_»You. Were. Perfect. Seriously, they love you already. Plus, if our picky Bif accepted you, then you really have nothing to worry about,« Neil said with a smile on his face and Claire smiled back at him._

_»They are so nice,« Claire whispered biting her lip thinking about if they really like her._

_»The dogs or my parents?« he teased her._

_»Your parents Neil, your parents!« Claire said laughing but her laugh quickly subsided showing Neil that she was still nervous._

_»You really need to relax. You have nothing to worry about,« Neil said and Claire sighed but then firmly nodded with her head._

_Neil raised his hand cupping her cheek in his palm and looked at her lips._

_»Relax,« he whispered again and leaned down to her soft lips leaving a kiss but as always Neil couldn't stop just at a simple innocent kiss._

_They were now together for three months. He was still not working at the hospital yet knowing that he will probably start working in a month. They were always together except when Claire was at the hospital. When she was working he was always thinking about how he can't wait that she comes back from work or how he wanted to be at work himself so he could be near her. He looked forward to the next two days for the last two weeks. They both needed the change of scenery due to everything that happened and he knew that both of them will feel good at his parent's place because it was a little piece of paradise like Claire described it when they came._

_»Neil, we should go. Your mom prepared lunch,« Claire said breaking the kiss._

_»Lunch can wait for a few more minutes,« he answered her again finding her lips and moving them toward the bed._

_»Neil, what are you doing?« Claire whispered but at the next moment, she was laying on the bed with him next to her._

_»This,« he whispered his lips leaving kisses on her collarbone, his hand pulling off the strap of her shoulder and Claire tried to get up but he didn't let her._

_She leaned on her elbow, reaching for his chin with her other hand making him look at her._

_»We are not at home Neil, what if your paren…«_

_»… my parents started knocking on the door of my room before entering since I was ten. Don't worry. They won't barge in.«_

_»You sure?«_

_»Yes,« he whispered and as he started kissing her again Claire let herself relax under his touch and fell back to the mattress with her back._

_After so much fear and pain Neil finally knew how it feels to be happy again. Whenever he was with Claire, when he had her in his arms he felt alive, at peace. Right now he was also happy that she agreed to come with him to visit his parents. He knew she was worried, even scared about it but she still did it. She gathered the courage and agreed to meet his parents. He loved her even more because of it because he saw that she is making an effort, doing things that scare her, things that she probably wouldn't do for someone else but she did them for him._

_»Neil, we really should go,« he heard her whispering._

_»In a minute. Let's enjoy this moment just a little bit more,« he whispered back._

_He slowly moved up to his knees so that he was now in front of her, in front of her bent but closed legs. She was looking at him like she was waiting to see what his next move is going to be. He gently started to push her long maxi dress up revealing her legs._

_»Neil …«_

_»Shhh,« he whispered at her soft protest and left a kiss on her knee and then slowly started to part her legs._

_They were together for three months but they haven't slept together yet. Just about two weeks ago Claire finally opened up to him telling him about her fears when it comes to having sex with him. He was so happy when she finally decided to tell him what is going on because he really was worried about it due to the fact that Claire stopped him countless times during their steamy moments. She was fine to the one point but when things went too far it was like someone would press a button and suddenly she wasn't into it anymore. She often distanced herself from him and closed herself into another room and it was the worst feeling for him because he didn't know what's going on and he also couldn't help her since she didn't want to tell him what her struggles were. Since their conversation about her struggles, he figured out her boundaries knowing that the right time for them will come. Sex with her was something that he wanted, obviously, but she has to feel safe and she has to be sure about it otherwise it really won't be good for either of them._

_As his lips traveled slowly over the skin of her inner thigh he didn't have to encourage her to part her legs for him anymore because she did that willingly. He stopped when he reached the middle of her inner thigh, noticing her breath getting heavy, knowing that he has to stop there._

_»Is it too much?« he whispered as he slowly moved up toward her face again looking at her eyes._

_»No, I'm ok,« she whispered back wrapping her legs around his waist and sliding her fingers into his hair as his lips pressed themselves to her neck._

_»If only you knew how much I want you,« Neil whispered to her ear._

_»I'm sorry …« he heard her and looked at her moving a strand of her hair from her forehead._

_»How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to apologize for wanting to wait to be ready when it comes to us having sex, hm?«_

_»It's just that …«_

_»Claire, babe, I don't mind being stuck at the second base with you, don't worry,« he said smiling at her and she smiled back._

_»I just don't get it. What's wrong with me? I want you too, I get all turned on but when we reach a certain point I just can't do it yet,« she again explained herself even if he told her thousands of times already she doesn't have to._

_»Nothing is wrong with you. Listen, if I tell you I want you it doesn't mean that I want to put more pressure on you. I just say this to … well, to let you know I want you because I do want you, so badly. But I will wait as long as you need me to,« he said and Claire cupped his face into her hands raising her head off the bed to reach his lips._

_»I love you so much and I want you too, I really do, I just … this, my fear … you have to keep in mind it isn't about you. You're perfect,« she whispered._

_»I love you too babe and don't worry. We are going to reach the last base. I assure you that. Furthermore, just for the record … I know I'm perfect,« he again teased her with his arrogant smirk on his face and Claire laughed, then got serious again touching his bottom lip with his palm._

_»I just want it to be special. For both of us,« Claire whispered._

_»You know, if you want I can prepare the whole show for you, just say it. Silky bed sheets, candles, rose petals…«_

_»Oh God, stop it. Don't you dare do that,« Claire said laughing and Neil laughed with her._

_»One day you will love my romantic side,« he whispered against her lips._

_They fell silent looking at the eyes of each other both thinking about how their first time will look like._

_»I love how you always make me feel better about myself, you always make me laugh,« she whispered and for a minute they just held each other with their legs and arms wrapped around one another kissing gently._

***

After they had lunch they were exploring the shops in the mall for about two more hours. Claire was just trying on the last blouse while Neil was sitting in the corner of the changing cabin observing her knowing she was being on standby if his mood would start going downhill again. He didn't miss her worried stares. Even though she tried to hide them she failed miserably. He could see she is worried about him.

»Babe?«

»Yes?« Claire said immediately and quickly turned from the mirror to look at him and he could see she is practically scanning him for any signs of discomfort.

He stood up and stepped toward her.

»Stop worrying about me. Please. I'm fine, really. I don't want that our weekend is ruined because of my stupid nightmare and because of our encounter with Marta and Noreen,« he said taking her hands in his.

»First of all, there is no way you can ruin our weekend. As long as I have you next to me, I'm happy. Second of all, don't call your nightmares stupid, and third … I wish you would talk to me about what happened before. Maybe I would be calmer if I knew why you were so upset,« Claire said and Neil sighed.

Neil leaned down kissing her and Claire gently kissed him back but then carefully pushed him away.

»Stop it. I know what you're doing.«

»What?« Neil asked pretending he doesn't know what she's talking about.

»You can't distract me with your kisses and touches with just one single intention, and that's that I forget about what I want to talk to you about.«

»It worked in the past,« he teased her remembering that he really did use sex sometimes to distract her or at least postpone the conversation when it comes to his struggles.

Honestly, the sex wasn't just about avoiding the conversation, being with her actually made him feel better. After his nightmares, he always felt kind of empty. Like if the nightmare sucked the life out of him. Sometimes he woke up and he didn't even know where he is or if his relationship with Claire is even real. When his nightmares just started, when he wasn't used to them they really upset him but Claire's presence was everything he needed. When he saw her in his bed next to him he always felt a sense of relief. When he saw Claire lying next to him he knew that it was just a bad nightmare but even though she was there he still couldn't shake off the fear and desperation that he felt during his nightmares. He usually woke her up as she asked him to because she didn't want that he deals with his fears alone. He woke her up countless times because he really needed her. A lot of times the talking between them with the intention to calm him down led them to making love in the middle of the night because he needed to feel she's real, that they are real, he needed to make her his.

»I'm serious Neil,« Claire said looking at him seeing the look in his eyes that was so well known to her.

Even if he tried to deny it he wasn't ok. It wasn't as bad as in the past but she could still see that he's fighting a battle inside of him.

»I need you,« he suddenly whispered and leaned the back of his head on the wall of the cabin closing his eyes.

Claire sighed knowing exactly what he had in mind. Them making love was a lot of times an act that comforted them in their darkest moments. They made love a lot of times after his nightmares, sometimes they ended up in bed after their fights because being with each other helped them remember that they belong to each other, that they are important to someone. Well, make-up sex after fights wasn't always a good idea because it didn't always help, it just postponed resolving an argument but them making love after his nightmares did help him. Claire cherished those moments in the middle of the night because she really felt needed because of them and that was a feeling that she craved for her entire life but never felt it. Until Neil. He made her feel needed in so many ways. She stepped closer.

»Look at me,« she whispered taking his hands in hers and Neil looked at her getting lost in those beautiful green eyes of hers.

»I'm here for you,« she whispered and Neil leaned down to kiss her his hands wrapping around her waist holding her close.

»Do you think that I will always have nightmares?« he asked her when he slowly moved away from her face.

»I don't know. What I do know is that I am always going to be here for you. For anything you need,« she whispered caressing his cheek and he leaned into her touch.

»Good, because only with you by my side I can live with all of this mess in my head. God, I already thought I got over everything that happened to me since everything was going so well in the last three months with my nightmares.«

»I think you had a nightmare because of the talk we had yesterday. Us talking about your surgery probably wasn't a good idea.«

»Maybe … but I'm glad we talked about it. I'm glad that I know how everything happened,« he said.

There was a moment of silence between them.

»Do you want to go home?« Claire asked him.

»Do you have everything you need?« he asked her looking around the cabin at the clothes she chose.

»Yes, I have everything.«

»Then yes, I would love to go home,« he simply said and Claire nodded starting to grab her things.

As they were driving home Neil suddenly made a turn.

»Baby, where are we going?« Claire asked him.

»To Central Park. I want to talk to you about Marta and Noreen. Our bench at the park solved a lot of our troubles,« he said with a little smile on his lips and Claire nodded happily that he is willing to talk.

They went toward their bench hand in hand. As they sat down the warmth of the sun was caressing their skin and for a while, they just sat next to each other observing the surroundings.

»I don't want to go on those free drinks that Marta promised us. Ever,« he suddenly said and Claire looked at him.

»Neil, you don't have to,« she said and turned her body so that she was facing him.

»I can't go back there.«

»To the brewery?«

»Yes, I just can't.«

»It's understandable. So what … you won't go. I can buy you as many beers as you want,« Claire said with a little smile on her face and Neil smiled back grateful that she knows how to make a serious conversation a little bit more bearable.

»Six months ago I went back there because Marta invited me to the second opening of the brewery when everything was renovated.«

»Yes, I remember. I couldn't go with you because we were on different shifts and I couldn't get anyone to switch with me so that I could go with you,« Claire said remembering that moment from six months ago.

»When she invited me I didn't even think about the fact that me being there would make me relive everything that happened to me. I didn't know that it will … when I stepped into the brewery I immediately knew it was a mistake coming back there.«

»You never told me. You said it was great,« Claire said putting her hand on his shoulder gently squeezing it.

»I was there for just about fifteen minutes and I knew that if I stay there that Marta and Noreen will want to give me a tour of the brewery, and … I swear to you if I had to go through that hallway where the ceiling collapsed on me causing my injury … I would probably freak out and ran out of the building. So I just made up an excuse that they need me at the hospital and left.«

»As I said. You don't have to go back there.«

»It's just … I met Marta and Noreen about two months ago at one of the bakeries near the hospital and … well … meeting them makes me nervous, uncomfortable because they are always inviting me to that brewery and I don't want to go. When they invite me I have to come up with excuses that are often just so random and stupid and …«

»Listen,« Claire cut him off and put a hand on his knee, »next time they invite you, just tell them the truth. You don't have to go into the details. They both know you were injured in that earthquake. Marta was practically in the next room in the ICU. They know what went down. No one will blame you for not wanting to go back there. They will understand that the place makes you uncomfortable and that it brings up bad memories.«

»Yeah … you're probably right,« Neil said taking a deep breath thinking that it would probably really be best if he told the truth and so he wouldn't fall into panic every time when he meets them.

»And if you're worried about not getting all of that free beer, I can also ask Marta if she delivers the beer to the doorstep for her special customers that are saving her life in unimaginable conditions,« Claire said and again brought a smile on Neil's face.

»Do you think that would be possible?« Neil said but Claire knew his question was sarcastic and she laughed.

»Well, it would be great to find out because giving up so much beer … I don't know, it's kind of crazy, don't you think?« she teased him back and she was glad that he smiled back.

»Well, yeah … someone would say I'm crazy but … I prefer whiskey anyway,« Neil said shrugging his shoulders like the beer didn't even matter.

»Life is too short to be worrying about things that really have a simple solution. Just be honest with Marta and Noreen and it's going to be ok,« Claire said leaning his head against his shoulder intertwining her fingers with his.

»It's funny how everything happens at the same time. The nightmare, now meeting Marta and Noreen. Like the universe just wants to make me feel bad.«

»You know how some people say that no matter how bad things are, the universe will make sure everything goes well in the end?« Claire said.

»Bullshit,« Neil said and Claire smiled.

»Exactly. I don't believe it either. If I would trust the universe or some other force that is invisible to our eyes … you wouldn't be here today. I still think that it was my and Lim's knowledge that saved you. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. I used to believe that there is something out there that is bigger than all of us but … It's just … my whole life I had to fight to survive and to achieve everything I wanted. Nothing was just given to me. The only person I could rely on was … well, me.«

»That isn't true anymore,« she heard Neil whisper and she lifted her head to look at him.

»No, it isn't. Now I have you,« she said and smiled at him.

»Yes, you do and you will always have me. As long as you'll want me here by your side.«

»I'll always want you by my side,« Claire said again leaning on his shoulder.

»You sure? This is quite a serious statement,« Neil teased her.

»I'm sure,« she simply said knowing she can't imagine her life without him anymore.

They sat at the park in silence a little longer.

»Neil?«

»What is it, babe?«

»Let's go home,« Claire said looking up at him.

»Let's go,« Neil simply said and slowly got off the bench pulling her up with him.

When they got back home loaded with bags, they threw everything on the floor in the hallway, happy to finally be home again. Neil thought about the fact how much he enjoyed spending his time at home since he was with Claire. The apartment didn't feel lonely anymore. Even if he came home from work and Claire wasn't there at that moment all of her things were and he knew that Claire will come home eventually.

»Finally! Home sweet home,« Claire said as she was headed toward the bathroom and Neil smiled starting to pick up all of the bags and carried them into the living room so they could go through everything they bought.

When Claire came from the bathroom she saw how Neil is looking at the things they bought.

»Babe, come help me with unpacking these shirts of mine. Why do they always fold them with so many pins and these plastic clips? It's annoying,« Neil said and frowned at that.

Claire stepped toward him, took the shirt he was holding from his hand, and threw it back to the floor. Neil looked at her as she did that and he stepped two steps back as she rested her palms against his chest and stepped forward pushing him back. He fell back on the couch observing how she lifted her dress and then straddled his lap.

»There is something else that needs unpacking,« she said leaning down toward his face whispering the words against his lips and Neil didn't lose a beat.

His lips crashed against hers, his hands found their way under her dress cupping her bum, greedily squeezing it, and with that, he elicited a quiet needy moan out of the woman on top of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! What did you like the most about the chapter? Please let me know in the comments. 🤗


	23. Make me yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No summary needed for this one. The title says it all. 💖

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> First of all, there is one thing I want to say. I present to you an arrogant dominant Claire Browne. I love her to bits. I think she is slowly getting better at being arrogant even in comparison to Neil that is … well … a master at it. 😏
> 
> I have a lot of moments from my story for which I can say are my favourite but this chapter will always have a special place in my heart. 💖 I really hope you are going to feel all the passion, love, and consuming emotions that I wanted to portray. This chapter is a little bit shorter. I thought about if I should put another scene into it to make it as long as the others but I decided against it. Somehow I just love how this chapter is just about one scene between Neil and Claire and in the end I didn't want to put anything else into it because I didn't want that something overshadows their moment. I concentrated on Neil's perspective in this chapter and I hope I managed to be convincing at writing from a male point of view. 😊❤️
> 
> You are always excited when I write about their flirting and teasing moments and I teased you a lot in the last three chapters so I guess that now I'm just releasing the tension by giving you this explicit chapter. 😉
> 
> At this point, I also want to say something else. Especially now when the chapter is explicit. I write about different themes that may be problematic especially for younger readers, teenagers. Themes like sex, rape, sexual harassment at a workplace, murder and rape victims, and so on. Since I don't know my reader's age I just want to say that if any of you young readers are having trouble with understanding some of these themes and storylines or if you are having trouble with dealing with them just talk about them with an adult that you trust. I just love to explore different things, I am a person that really doesn't have a filter, I am always prepared to talk about different things even the unpleasant ones or themes that are still considered taboo among some people. That is why my story also covers different things.
> 
> Enjoy reading it and please don't forget to leave a comment with your opinion about it in the comment section. Your comments are my food! They keep me motivated to write more. 🤗
> 
> Sarah

Claire came back to the living room seeing Neil standing in the middle of all the shopping bags. Despite the unpleasant feelings Neil was facing today, they had a nice day. It was one of the most beautiful days they had spent together in recent weeks. Even though Neil was again struggling with his past she managed to calm him down, connect with him, make him feel better as she had done so many times in the past when he needed her. She was proud of herself to be able to do that. Be there for him as a supportive and understanding girlfriend like he was there for her way before they were even in a relationship.

»Babe, come help me with unpacking these shirts of mine. Why do they always fold them with so many pins and these plastic clips? It's annoying,« Neil said and frowned at that.

Claire stepped toward him, his presence embracing her making her heart beat a little faster at the thought of what she wants, what she knew that he wants too. She took the shirt he was holding from his hand and threw it back to the floor catching his surprised look. She locked her gaze with his and as she rested her palms against his chest and stepped forward gently pushing him he fell back on the couch observing her how she lifted her dress and straddled his lap.

Neil instantly forgot all about the shirts he wanted to put away. The only thing that occupied his mind at this moment was Claire's presence, her actions for which he knew where they are leading.

»There is something else that needs unpacking,« Claire said leaning down toward his face whispering the words against his lips and Neil didn't lose a beat.

His lips crashed against hers, his hands found their way under her dress cupping her bum, greedily squeezing it. She slowly pulled away from his lips at the sound of the quiet moan that escaped her mouth and when Neil impatiently leaned forward to follow her trying to catch her lips again, his hands already searching the clip of the dress at her neck, she stopped him by cupping his face making him look at her.

»Why so impatient?« she whispered and Neil sighed with what she could only describe as a frustrating neddy sigh.

Neil leaned back on the couch his hands finding a place on her thighs.

»It's kind of hard to hold back with you all over me,« he said back with a smile.

»Are you saying that I am irresistible?« Claire asked playfully.

»Yes, I guess I am.«

»Well, that makes two of us,« Claire said and Neil smiled at her remark.

»I don't know about that. You are very good today at keeping yourself together next to me,« Neil whispered thinking how she teased him the whole day without really showing a lot of weakness next to him herself.

»You'll see in just a bit how much I am capable of keeping myself together next to you,« she whispered again touching his lips with a fleeting light kiss, and Neil smiled at her remark knowing that sooner or later she is also going to be just a needy mess next to him and they both knew it.

Neil felt how she gently touched his cheek and that little gesture made their smiles subside, making them aware of the tension between them, feeling the need to be with each other.

»Do you still need me?« Claire asked him her voice barely a whisper and he knew she wants to make him feel better, help him forget all the bad feelings that were consuming him today.

»I always need you,« he admitted observing her face that had so much understanding all over it.

»I've got you,« she whispered back her hands slowly traveling from his chest to his abdomen to the hem of his shirt when she slowly began to pull it up.

Neil leaned toward her away from the backrest of the couch and raised his arms so Claire could undress him. He watched her every move, her every look, and he liked the way her eyes observed him as if he was the only one who existed for her.

»What are you thinking about?« she asked him leaving a kiss on his shoulder but then again looked into his eyes.

»Nothing really … I'm kind of lost because of you,« Neil said with a little smile on his lips.

»Already? I haven't even started yet,« she said playfully with a big grin, and Neil couldn't help but roll his eyes at her arrogance.

When did she become so arrogant? She definitely wasn't this arrogant when they started dating. He was a bad influence on her, he thought to himself.

»Really? What are you planning to do to me?«

Neil saw how her grin went away and she got all serious looking at him like she knows exactly what her next move will be.

»Hmm, let's see …« she whispered the fingers of her right hand slowly sliding through his hair but suddenly grabbing the longer hair at his forehead with just the right amount of roughness, pulling his head back exposing his neck.

Neil was now looking up at the ceiling, feeling his heart starting to beat faster waiting in anticipation of what she will do. As she leaned down toward his neck he was enveloped by the scent of her hair and when her lips touched his sensitive skin he closed his eyes concentrating on their softness. He wanted to lift his head but he quickly realized she won't let him. Her fingers were still firmly tangled in his hair and he could feel their pull to keep him in place.

»Shit Claire …« a quiet whisper escaped his mouth and he could feel a smile forming on her lips as they traveled from the side of his neck to the front.

When he felt Claire's lips touch his adam's apple and the sensitive skin just below it, it was as if all the pleasure he felt went directly to his crotch. Neil couldn't hold back a groan, his hands firmly grabbing Claire's hips under the material of the dress pulling her closer to his hips to get some friction that he desperately needed. Claire let go of his hair and he raised his head to look at her realizing he is breathing heavily against her lips while she still looked calm. The only thing that showed any kind of arousal on her was redness on her cheeks.

»Did I already told you that I love these deep groans you are making?« she whispered looking at his eyes.

»Claire …«

»What is it handsome?«

»I want you …«

»I know, I can feel that …« she simply said back to him with a little smile on her lips rubbing herself against him not breaking eye contact with him.

As she did that Neil saw it on her face that she was getting as much pleasure out of the situation as he had. She could play strong and unyielding all she wanted. He knew she was yearning for him deep inside of her just like he was for her. When they started dating Neil had no idea what he's getting himself into when it comes to Claire and sex. When they started having sex he figured out pretty soon that in the bedroom she was the complete opposite of what she was in other situations of her life. In bed, the sweet, innocent Claire Browne wasn't as sweet and innocent anymore. He liked this side of her very much, more than he wanted to admit to himself since she often put him in an inferior position in which he definitely wasn't used to being in any aspect of his life. But he liked it so he went with it and played her game even though sometimes he just wanted to take control of the situation. Like now for example when he just wanted to rip this dress off her.

»If I remember correctly you promised me earlier that this dress will end up on the floor when we come home,« Claire said her hands now resting on his bare shoulders.

»Yes, I did.«

»Why am I still in it then?« she asked him like she forgot that he already wanted to undress her but she didn't let him.

She truly was playing games with him. He touched the silky material of the dress at Claire's cleavage leaning forward kissing her breast through it.

»C'mon handsome, get me out of it. So many sweet parts for you under it.«

»I am so going to enjoy those parts,« Neil grinned as he reached for the clip of the dress at her neck.

»Are you?«

»Yes, as soon as I get rid of this hideous dress,« he said and Claire giggled at his choice of words that reflected the words she used in the changing cabin at the store as she found the perfect but overly expensive dress that was now hers thanks to him.

As she raised her arms he started to pull the dress off her. Neil threw it on the floor and wasted no more time. He leaned forward and began to return all the kisses she had given him so far. As she let out a quiet moan he looked at her to see her better. With her being almost completely naked in his lap, with just her lace panties covering up the most intimate part of her body, those beautiful green eyes looking at him with so much love, he forgot about everything else. Only she mattered. She and this moment. He could live out of moments like this. His hands found their way to her breasts. He gently squeezed them in his palms and Claire's hips moved against him once more as he did that.

»You are so beautiful,« Neil whispered.

»Am I?«

»Mhm,« he hummed right before he took her nipple into his mouth gently sucking it feeling her body shiver under his touch.

»… and sweet,« he said when he looked at her again seeing that she finally can't hide all the pleasure he makes her feel.

She firmly pushed him against the couch again attacking his mouth and he could feel she started getting busy with unbuckling his belt.

»Oh no, you won't,« he suddenly said breaking the kiss, firmly grabbing her around her waist and as he decisively threw her on the couch onto her back she let out a girly surprised scream.

»Neil, what are you doing?!« she asked laughing.

»There is no way I am making it so easy for you … It's my turn to torture you now.«

»How are you going to do that?« she said with a smile on her face and Neil couldn't resist but to give her one of his arrogant smiles.

»I have some ideas,« he answered her confidently as he pushed himself between her legs bringing his mouth down on hers, this time not holding back.

He thrust his tongue inside her mouth earning himself an eager moan from her. Claire welcomed him without hesitation, tangling her tongue with his trying to reach his belt again but he didn't let her.

»Look who's eager and impatient now,« he whispered against her half parted mouth and then slowly moved lower, kissing the skin between her breasts and then her stomach. At one moment he looked up his mouth still busy against her skin and he felt a wave of victory at the sight in front of him. Her chest was rising up and down fast, she was arching her back from the couch to reach his lips when he moved away now and then, her gentle moans were music to his ears. He straightened up and their gazes met as he grabbed the edge of her panties and took them off with determination.

»Talking about your sweet parts …« he whispered and Claire shut her eyes at his words.

»Not so bossy anymore,« he whispered with a smile on his lips and then started kissing her inner thigh going higher with every kiss.

Claire perked up on her elbows observing him patiently waiting when she will be able to feel his talented tongue where she really wanted it. As Neil was leaving kisses on her inner thigh he had her gaze locked with hers the whole time. He knew what she's waiting for and he was almost there to give it to her, his face was just an inch away from her wetness.

»Neil, baby, what are you waiting for?« she uttered out breathless.

»What am I waiting for? What are you waiting for, hm?«

»I'm waiting that your talented tongue makes love to me,« she said and Neil couldn't help but smile.

»Oh darling, you think that I will go down on you?« he said and an arrogant smirk rested on his face as he said that.

Claire looked at him in disbelief, letting her body fall back to the couch with a desperate moan escaping her throat.

»I see. This is payback,« she said.

»Yeah, it kind of is. You teased me the whole day, this is the consequence.«

»Fine. Have your fun with me, torture me all you want. I can take it. But I assure you that you won't last long. Sooner or later you are going to make love to me in some way.«

»Yeah? What makes you so sure?«

»Well, your pants seem quite tight from where I'm looking at you,« she said seriously looking at his crotch where she could clearly see the outline of his hard-on, and Neil couldn't help but laugh.

He got up from the couch and began to unbuckle his belt while his eyes roamed her naked body.

»Did I already tell you you are a blessing to my eyes?« he whispered as he got rid of his pants and boxers.

»Shit,« Claire whispered at the sight of him and looked away closing her eyes like the view in front of her would be too much to handle.

»If only I could know what you feel right now,« she heard him whisper and felt how the couch crept under his weight again.

»There are no words to describe it,« she whispered back her eyes still closed, her body shivering at the touch of his skin with hers as he lay down on top of her.

Neil looked at her, caressing her hair, observing her. Her closed eyes and half parted lips, her chest rising up and down, her hips rising greedily toward him making them both moan at the touch.

»Look at me,« Neil said touching her face to turn it toward him.

»You said you need me …« she whispered her breath hitching as he squeezed her hard nipple between his fingers.

»I do need you …«

»So take me …«

Neil felt the pressure between his legs spiking even more at her words if that was even possible. He wanted this to last longer but as always she knew exactly what to say so that he stopped procrastinating what was inevitable.

»Make me yours …« she whispered her breath heavy against his lips, her eyes full of want.

As he observed her face he slid his thumb gently and lovingly over her eyebrow and her temple. She closed her eyes at the touch, her hips hungrily bucking up toward him once more, the tips of her fingers digging themselves into the skin on his back. Neil leaned his forehead against hers, clenching his jaw, holding back a moan at the back of his throat at the feeling of her body rubbing against his hard shaft.

»Baby, are you trying to break a record or something? Like how long you last before you come without even being inside of me or something?« Claire suddenly asked looking at him with a smile and Neil laughed at her remark.

»I'm just enjoying this moment. I love to see you squirm with want under me that's all. You do this to me all the time so stop complaining,« he said and Claire let out a desperate sound.

»Stop torturing me!«

»You are the one that thought me all about torture, so … now … deal with it.«

»I don't have to deal with it because I can just take what I want,« she said determinedly.

»Really?«

»Yes, really,« she said and suddenly started perking up on her elbows and quickly shifting her weight before he would have time to realize what she's doing.

»Shit, Claire! What are you doing?« Neil asked her laughing, his hands wrapping themselves tightly around her back to hold on to her.

»Taking what I want,« she said confidently trying to turn them over.

»Claire, babe! We are going to …«

»Oh shit,« Claire suddenly said realizing her move probably wasn't a good idea because all of a sudden they were falling off the couch.

Neil landed on the soft carpet with Claire on top of him.

»Shit, baby, are you ok?« Claire asked looking at him with worry.

»I told you that I am going to be able to break the bed with you even when I'm going to be seventy but I won't be able to do that if you break my back,« he said and Claire laughed.

»No, seriously, are you ok?« she asked him laughing.

»Yes, I'm fine,« he answered her his eyes roaming her naked body that was rising above him.

»Good. Now we can get down to business then,« she said leaning down to him her tongue penetrating his mouth beginning a seductive and passionate dance with his that was just as greedy as hers.

Neil was lost in her kiss, lost in the teasing movements of her hips that drove him crazy, and he didn’t even dare to imagine what it will feel like when he will finally found his way deep into her warmth and wetness. Well, he knew how it will feel. At first, he will have a feeling that his heart is not beating, he will not be able to get enough air into his lungs but then when he will manage to get this first feeling of consuming pleasure under control his heart will start beating faster and that is what he wanted. His heart beating so hard that he will have a feeling it will fall out of his chest. That is the moment that he will feel most alive. Alive, together with the woman he loves. Woman that, by what he saw right now, was clearly enjoying the exchange of power between them.

As Claire broke the kiss she straightened up her fingernails gently scratching his chest and abdomen. Neil looked at her not wanting to miss a second of the view above him. His hands grabbed her thighs and as he started to raise up from the floor she pushed him back down.

»No, no baby. Now you are going to just watch and enjoy the ride,« she whispered with an arrogant smile and Neil's breath hitched as she touched his now fully erect cock that just waited to finally be inside of her. As she lifted her hips and put his tip at her entrance slowly taking him into her Neil closed his eyes in defeat, his lips parting at the sensation.

»I want you to look at me,« he heard her and opened his eyes his vision blurry from the pleasure that was traveling through his body.

She slowly started to move, her eyes fixated on him and as she took him inside of her over and over again slowly speeding up Neil grabbed her hips raising his head from the floor looking at his manhood getting lost in her over and over again. 

»Enjoying yourself?« she asked him with a shaky breathless voice by which he knew that she is just as much of a mess because of him as he is because of her.

»God woman, you are …«

»…the best thing that ever happened to you,« she finished his sentence her left hand grabbing his jaw and pushing his head down leaning herself toward his lips again not losing a beat with moving her hips.

Claire moaned as she kissed him, her moan vibrating pleasantly in his mouth and as she broke the kiss Neil looked at her green eyes noticing her pupils fully dilated from arousal.

»Claire, I'm … I'm gonna …«

»Not yet, Neil, not yet, just … just a little bit more,« she whispered feeling herself being close as well but not close enough.

Neil shut his eyes, let out a deep frustrated groan, and then clenched his jaw concentrating on lasting just a little bit longer for her.

»You're so hot like this,« he heard her whisper and he again opened his eyes to look at her.

»Stop saying stuff like this if … shit … if … if you want me to last lon … longer,« he said his words broken due to his frantic breathing.

She left a quick kiss on his lips, straighten up, and because of her move, he slid into her even deeper.

»Claire, babe I …«

»Just a little bit more, just …«

She didn't finish the sentence, words didn't come out of her mouth as her body convulsed in spasms of pleasure. Neil followed her not being able to hold back anymore at the feeling of her muscles clenching around him making him cry out her name. He felt like electricity is traveling through his body filling him with a warm and tingly sensation. He made himself open his eyes to look at her as she was still coming. She was leaning against his chest with her hands, looking at the ceiling with lips parted in pleasure, and Neil couldn't help but smile as their living room was filled with the sounds of her loud moans and his name that was falling from her lips over and over again. He observed her not being able to look away as she slowly came, like she often said, down from her high. Neil raised himself from the floor to be closer to her. Her hands immediately found their way around him and her head fell heavily against his shoulder. They were both still breathing heavy, their still joined bodies being oversensitive.

»Neil …« he heard her against his ear.

»What is it, love?«

She raised her head from his shoulder, looked at him shaking her head at him with a smile on her lips like she couldn't believe what just happened and she slowly pushed him down again, leaning toward him herself not being able to resist another kiss. She slid off him, falling to her back, covering her eyes with her forearm. She could hear Neil still breathing heavily next to her.

As their breathing slowed down, Neil turned his head to the side to look at her. She was still covering her eyes. He couldn't hold back a laugh.

»Are you ok babe?« he asked her.

»No.«

»What's wrong?«

»I can't think clearly,« she answered a smile forming on her lips.

»Well, that is just an effect I have on you,« he answered satisfied with himself.

Claire let her hand that was covering her eyes fall against her body and she opened her eyes looking at the ceiling, then turning to face him. They both turned to their sides and Claire scooted closer to him, her arm resting on his waist as she observed his face.

»What are you thinking about?« he whispered against her lips and her green eyes found his warm brown ones looking for any sign of discomfort or worry in them.

She didn't see it. She could only see love and peace in them.

»Are you ok?« she whispered back remembering the panic she saw in his eyes just a few hours back but she quickly pushed the thought away not wanting that those memories would destroy this perfect moment.

Neil took a deep breath knowing exactly what her question was about.

»I'm good.«

»You would tell me if you weren't, right?« she asked and gently covered his cheek with her palm.

»Claire, I'm fine, I promise. Plus, you would know if I would be laying. You are way too good at reading me,« he said with a little smile on his lips and saw how she slowly nodded at his answer but he could still see the worry in her eyes.

»Babe, stop worrying about me. I'm ok, better than ok. The nightmare is behind me, thanks to you I know what I'm going to do next time when I'm gonna see Marta and Noreen … I'm ok,« he tried to convince her again because he really wanted her to stop worrying.

»So the sex worked?« she asked and Neil laughed making her laugh too but then his laugh faded and he looked at her seriously.

»It's not the sex that helps me and makes me feel better with these struggles of mine. I mean it is but, in reality, it's you. You next to me is all I need,« he whispered knowing that it's important she hears this due to everything they both went through in the past, due to her insecurities and fears about their relationship that even if they weren't as big as in the past, they were still there inside of her.

»Hmm, and I thought that it's my bedside manner that does the trick. Now you are telling me that it would also help you in making you feel better if we just cuddled on this couch from which we fell off, and watched some TV?« she said pretending she's disappointed.

»Yeah, probably. But it is true sex indeed makes me feel the closest to you. Plus, having sex is waaay more fun than watching television, don't you think?« he teased her and he leaned in to give her a gentle but firm kiss on those enticing lips of hers.

»It definitely is,« she said smiling resting her head on his chest where his tattoo was.

Claire's body relaxed next to him as she felt his fingertips gently traveling up and down her bare back. There was no place she would rather be right now. She wished that they could stay like this forever leaving everything behind them. Their fears that every now and then crept back to their lives, the stress, the work at the hospital. She wanted to stay in this bubble of idiotic happiness forever.

»Neil?«

»What is it babe?« he said with a sleepy voice as if she just pulled him from a nap.

»Sorry, did you doze off?« she asked him raising her head from his chest to look at him.

»Yeah, you kind of sucked the life out of me before, remember?« he said with closed eyes and a smile on his face.

»What did you want to ask me?«

»This fireplace we have in the apartment. Do you ever turn it on?« she asked looking at the fireplace in front of them.

Neil followed her gaze, then looked at her.

»Sometimes in the winter. I usually turn it on for Christmas,« he answered her touching her soft long curls.

»Christmas. We spent our first Christmas at the hospital,« she said a little bit disappointed.

»Maybe this year we are going to be luckier and we won't have to work on Christmas.«

»Yeah, maybe I should ask my boss to clear both of our schedules,« she said smiling looking down at him and he smiled back.

»You can ask but dr. Melendez is kind of an arrogant ass you know.«

»You don't say,« Claire laughed and again rested her head against him.

»Why the interest in a fireplace all of a sudden?« Neil asked her after a moment of silence.

»It would be nice if you would make love to me in front of it one day,« she simply said and Neil tried really hard not to laugh out loud.

He slowly turned to his side, her head resting on his outstretched arm, looking down at her face and he couldn't help a grin forming on his lips.

»What?« she asked confused.

»You are telling me that you want me to make love to you in front of a fireplace while it's cold outside, maybe even rainy, which would make us listen to the tiny raindrops falling, that sound would merge together with the crackling of the flames, all while you would beg me not to stop, breathlessly whispering my name over and over again as I make love to you?« he said and Claire immediately knew what he was grinning about.

»Forget I said anything,« she said shaking her head looking away from him but not able to hold back the corner of her lips perking up.

»Too late for that.«

»Stop it.«

»You want me to be romantic with you,« he whispered and she gently hit him on his shoulder.

»Stop it, that's not what I want.«

»Anti-romantic Claire Browne, I have a feeling you are starting to crave romance.«

»I do not,« she protested and pursed her lips as if she just tasted something really bad and Neil laughed at her expression.

»I told you. One day you will love my romantic side,« he teased her and leaned down to her neck leaving kisses on her soft skin.

»No. I crave your submissive, arrogant, and sometimes wild side,« she said with a smile, closing her eyes at the touch of his lips, throwing her leg over his hip pulling him closer.

He raised his outstretched arm on which her head was resting from the floor and firmly wrapped it around her shoulders holding her close to him, wrapping her in a tight hug as his lips found hers once again.

»Are you up for another round?« he whispered.

»If I'm up for another round? Melendez, I can do this with you as many times as you want.«

»Yeah?«

»Mhm.«

»Maybe I will go down on you this time. You seemed desperate for it before.«

»So confident … Me desperate? Please … take that arrogance of yours and show it off to someone else. It doesn't have any effect on me.«

»Liar,« he whispered with a smile on his face and as she wanted to object to him his fingers found their way to her still sensitive core making her quiet.

»You see? Desperate,« he breathed against her mouth his fingers working their magic on her.

»I give in, I'm desperate, so desperate for it,« she breathed nuzzling against his neck with her nose already hoping that there is going to be the next round after this one.

And the next one … and the next one … and the next one …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. You're the best! Please leave a comment. 🤗


	24. You are jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Sunday morning Neil and Claire wake up knowing they are having breakfast with Morgan. When they go to pick up some pastries they encounter detective Marco Walker and his working partner detective Michael Carter. How will the first meeting between Neil and Marco that has his eyes fixated on Claire go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> After the last chapter where we had just one scene between Neil and Claire, I am going back to delivering a chapter with more scenes. I marked different scenes with time and place. I hope you like these different storylines and new characters. It's really funny how this story is becoming something completely different than the show.
> 
> Some of you asked me for a jealous Melendez, even for a confrontation between Neil and Marco, the lead detective on Morgan's case that kind of has a crush on Claire. With this chapter, I am starting to hear your wishes and I will slowly start building a turf for this confrontation in the future. They will have a little confrontation also in this chapter even if they are just going to meet for the first time but I am also planning something bigger in the future. Hope you will like it. 🔥
> 
> And by the way … how is it possible that I gave the same surname to two characters? 😅 Jane Carter and Detective Carter (Marco's working partner). When I realized it I was laughing at myself BUT … it turned out that it gave me an amazing idea. You will see in this chapter what I'll do with these two characters with the same surnames. This wasn't planned at all but I think it will work perfectly. 😊
> 
> Enjoy reading and please don't forget to leave a comment. 🤗❤️
> 
> Sarah

**Sunday, 7.20, Melendaire home**

The alarm clock went off waking up both Neil and Claire.

»Ugh, whyyy?« she moaned unhappily and covered her head with the pillow.

Neil turned toward the nightstand and turned off the loud alarm clock.

»Good morning to you too,« he said with a smile turning on his side toward her gently pulling at her pillow to pull it away from her face.

»Remind me, why did I say yes to breakfast with Morgan yesterday when she invited us?« Claire asked with still closed eyes.

»Because she makes one hell of breakfast and it would be a shame to reject it.«

»You're right about that,« Claire said opening her eyes to look at him.

She turned on her side and looked at him trying to forget about the fact that she would love to sleep for a few more hours.

»Good morning,« she said to him gently as if she wasn't annoyed by being woken up just a minute ago.

»Good morning indeed,« he whispered looking at her and scooted closer giving her a kiss.

»I can't believe it's Sunday already. Where did this weekend go?« Claire said disappointed.

»Hey now, the weekend isn't over yet,« Neil said encouraging but also a little bit disappointed himself that tomorrow they are again going to be busy with work.

This weekend made him realize how much he wants to have at least a week just for them, far away from everything and everyone.

»I'm excited to see Gabby today. How do these picnics in the care home look like?« Claire asked gently caressing Neil's upper arm with her fingertips.

»They organize two picnics each summer. Everything is prepared very comfortably, you feel at home. There is a lot of food and there are various activities organized that you can participate in if you wish. Reading books, drawing, playing hide and seek, ball games, a lot of activities are like in an amusement park. Those are Gabby's favourites. Maybe you are going to be able to win yourself a teddy bear,« Neil said and Claire giggled.

»I will have to win myself a teddy bear? You are going to win it for me.«

»I'll try my best.«

»Come here you teddy bear,« Claire said and pressed her body close to him, her lips touching his reminding her of all the moments between them last night.

»Mmmm, no matter how good this feels we should get out of this bed before it's too late,« Claire said.

»Well, go. I don't know what's keeping you in it,« Neil teased her, holding her tight against him and Claire laughed.

»C'mon, let go of me,« she said gently trying to push him away.

»No,« he protested his lips again finding hers, his hands not loosening his grip around her.

»We have to get up Neil. We have to pick up the pastries for Gabby and Morgan.«

»I have all the pastries I need right here,« Neil said rolling onto her.

»You are impossible,« Claire giggled but couldn't help but to enjoy his closeness.

»What if we take this cuddling into the shower, hm?« she suggested to make them leave the bed and Neil suddenly got up pulling her up as well.

»We can do that,« he said his arms wrapping themselves around her waist, the sound of her giggles filling up the room as they moved toward the bathroom.

***

**Sunday, 6. 17 AM, Police station**

Marco was sitting behind the table in his office that was a mess of papers and evidence material. He was starring at the board in front of him where the pictures of victims were hanging. He swayed nervously in his chair and ran his gaze from picture to picture of girls, women who had died horrific deaths. He pulled closer to the table and resumed reading reports from other detectives that were dealing with the killer's victims in other cities. He no longer counted how many times he read the reports. He already knew them by heart, but he always hoped to find something he had previously overlooked. A new lead that will help him get closer to this monster. He looked up from the table again and stared at the two sketches of the serial killer they had obtained from Morgan and Maria during the investigation.

»Who are you?« he whispered to himself looking at the sketch throwing the pen he was holding in his hands on the table in frustration.

He knew he needs a break. It was Sunday and he knew he should go home and rest but he couldn't. He was at the police station the whole night. He dozed off at his table for about an hour but that was it. He didn't sleep properly for a week. He barely went home. This case was getting to him. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, whenever he closed his eyes he felt guilt because he was convinced he is losing valuable time to catch this guy. What annoyed him the most is that they had no new leads that they could follow to get closer to this killer. It was a waiting game. He hated it. He was a young detective that was dreaming of becoming the best there is and now he felt like he was useless. When he was a patrol officer he dreamt of this job. Now he wished he could just go back to patrol again. With patrol, he actually managed to do something each day. Now, he is sitting in this office, reading report after report over and over again, he's looking at the pictures of the victims knowing they are dead and that no matter what he does it is too late for them. He sighed and rubbed his eyes his body craving a cup of strong coffee. He already started to get off the chair to go to the coffee machine when he saw her photo. He sat back and took the photo into his hands comfortably leaning back into the chair again.

She had penetrating green eyes and a lovely smile. He could still hear her voice full of determination when she was talking to him about Maria in the emergency room and how he has to wait to talk to her after the attack. The photo was a selfie taken by Morgan that was on the photo next to Claire. Morgan gave him the photo so that he could show it to police officers that were assigned to their protection detail.

»Dr. Claire Browne,« Marco whispered and typed her name in the browser curious to learn more about her.

The first thing that he opened was an article about her on the San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital's website. The article was a week old and it was about her becoming Chief Resident. He started to read about all of her achievements and what lead her superiors to chose her for the position.

_Under the guidance of dr. Neil Melendez, one of the best and most known cardiothoracic surgeons in the country, and other attending surgeons, dr. Claire Browne is achieving outstanding achievements in various fields of surgery, but with her residency coming to an end she is leaning towards the cardiothoracic surgery field, within which she will also continue her education in the future._

Marco rolled his eyes at the description of Melendez and couldn't hold back not to browse his name as well.

»Reading about your crush's boyfriend?« Marco suddenly heard a voice and jumped in his chair not even realizing when his working partner, detective Michael Carter, came in.

»Mike, what the hell? You scared me,« Marco said and Mike laughed.

»What kind of detective are you? Jumping like a girl. I assume your read is interesting,« he teased him looking at the computer screen.

»Dr. Melendez. My sister's right, he's not just smart, he's hot too,« he blurted out and Marco looked at him in disbelief rolling his eyes knowing Mike is teasing him.

»Your sister?«

»Yeah, Jane. Marco, I told you she started her residency this week at St. Bonaventure, don't you remember?«

»Sorry, my mind is all over the place. Is she working with him?«

»No, another surgeon is her attending. She wanted to be under Melendez's guidance but she didn't get on his team.«

»Why not?«

»I don't know and I didn't ask her because she was quite disappointed and I didn't want to make her talk about it even more. I have no idea how hospitals choose which resident goes where. But she said that he is the best of the best.«

»I swear to you. If I hear or read one more time that he is the best of the best I am going to vomit,« Marco said and Mike laughed.

»You seriously have a crush on this girl?«

»Shut up.«

»You saw her once,« Mike said amazed that Marco is so enchanted with Claire since he only saw her once.

»So? She is very memorable,« Marco said looking at the photo again.

»You like bossy women. That's why you like her. She tore you apart in that emergency room when we wanted to talk to our victim.«

»So? I like bossy women. What is wrong with that?«

»Nothing's wrong with that. That is not a problem. Melendez is your problem. The guy you are stalking through your browser. He's her boyfriend.«

»Well, until she doesn't have a ring on it, she can change her mind, right?« Marco said and Mike laughed.

»It doesn't work that way. Ring doesn't mean anything.«

»Really?«

»What I'm trying to say is that some people are together their whole life and they don't get married. That doesn't mean their love isn't strong.«

»Morgan said I should forget about her,« Marco said looking at the photo again.

»You talked to Morgan about her? You are really in trouble,« Mike said laughing again shaking his head.

»Why do I always like women that are taken, hm?« Marco said annoyed and looked at the computer again scrolling up and down the article about Neil.

»I don't know. But you shouldn't get involved, you shouldn't pursue this. Not just because she has a boyfriend but because you are a lead detective on the case of her best friend. Things shouldn't get personal.«

»Maybe. But then again, I guess Claire doesn't have problems with getting personal even if it means potential problems.«

»What do you mean?«

»Melendez, he's her boss.«

»Interesting.«

»Do you know he earns just a little less than two million per year?« Marco said in astonishment as he read about Neil's salary as a cardiothoracic surgeon.

»Stop reading this,« Mike said closing down the computer.

»I can get shot, I could die and I don't even earn 150.000 dollars per year,« Marco said.

»If you get shot, Melendez is the one who knows how to remove a bullet, so … I guess his hands are worth two million,« Mike said and Marco rolled his eyes.

»On whose team are you?« Marco said looking at his partner.

»I'm not on anyone's team. There shouldn't be teams in this situation, you understand? Forget about this girl,« Mike said more seriously this time.

Marco sighed and put down the photo back on the table.

»C'mon, I came to invite you to breakfast. When was the last time you head a warm meal?« Mike asked.

»I don't know.«

»C'mon, let's go. A good breakfast, a good coffee, not this one from our horrible coffee machines, will fill you with energy and then we will go through this mess together all over again,« Mike said showing with his hand at Marco's scattered table.

»Let's just order delivery.«

»No, you have to get out of this dungeon. C'mon. I know the perfect place. It's twenty minutes away.«

»Twenty minutes? C'mon, we have to work.«

»It's Sunday! At least on Sunday, I deserve a proper breakfast. God, this job … I started it just a year ago and I already want to retire,« Mike said and Marco was surprised at his outburst.

»Fine, don't be upset. Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?«

»No, my wife told me today that she will call her lover to do math homework with our kids,« Mike said frustrated that this case is keeping him from his family all the time since murders started happening in San Jose.

»God, I love Miranda. She's funny,« Marco said laughing but Mike rolled his eyes.

»Don't get married and don't have kids. Not with this job,« Mike said as they started to leave the police station.

»You don't mean that. Miranda and the kids are your whole world,« Marco said.

»Yes, they are,« Mike answered thinking how he met Miranda in their first year of high school, and now when they were just thirty-three they already had two kids that were already finishing primary school.

»So where are you taking us?«

»I and Miranda went here last week. You can have breakfast and you can also buy pastries to go. It's a beautiful place. Nice place to start this working Saturday.«

»Fine, but you're buying,« Marco said and Mike laughed.

»You're starting to save money to get your first two million?« Mike said and Marco rolled his eyes.

»Not funny.«

»It is a little bit funny, admit it,« Mike said and Marco looked out the car window ignoring him.

»Fiiine, sorry. Don't be so sensitive.«

»I'm not sensitive.«

»Yes, you are. And desperate for this girl. I don't get it. You usually don't act this way.«

»I'm not desperate.«

»You asked Morgan about her. You're desperate.«

»Shut up. I will forget about her, ok? Satisfied?«

»Yes, it's better this way.«

»Fine,« Marco snapped.

»Ok,« Mike said calmly and stayed quiet until they drove into the parking lot.

As they were almost done eating their breakfast, Mike ordered the second round of coffees and as he randomly looked out the window he fixated his gaze on two people that were just getting out of a car and started walking toward the place they were at.

»What are you looking at?« Marco asked him and followed his gaze.

»You have got to be kidding me,« Marco said with a smile full of disbelief and Mike just grinned.

»Please, please act normal and don't embarrass yourself if she notices us or says hi,« Mike said and Marco rolled his eyes.

»I'll try my best but I don't promise anything.«

»Marco …«

»Jesus, what do you think that I will do? Arrest him for buying donuts, put him in our car while I ask her to have breakfast with me to get to know her better while he watches us through our car window in handcuffs?«

»I wouldn't put it past you. You pulled off some crazy stuff in the past,« Mike said with a smile remembering how much fun they had during the years when they were on patrol together.

»Don't worry. I'm going to be professional,« Marco said and waved his hand wearily at Mike.

*******

**Sunday, 8.15 AM, Bakery**

Claire and Neil parked the car in front of the bakery where they picked up pastries every time when they knew they are going to visit Gabby. She adored cinnamon rolls and vanilla-chocolate pockets and they always bought them more so Gabby could share with her roommate and other friends in the care home.

»Gabby asked me last time if we can also bring something with cherries. They had this dessert with cherries for breakfast a few weeks ago and she can't forget about it,« Claire said reaching for her purse at the back seat of the car.

»She is getting so spoiled because of you,« Neil laughed as he turned off the car.

»Spoiled? It's pastry Neil,« Claire laughed.

»And clothes, and puzzles and karaoke machine and …«

»Fiiiine, maybe I am getting a little bit overboard with the gifts but I just love to see her so joyful and she always shares everything with everyone so, in the end, she doesn't even have anything.«

»I told her a hundred times already that some things are just for her but she doesn't listen to me.«

»Well, some people don't have as much as she does so she gives her things to them. She takes care of other people. That's admirable.«

»Yeah, well, my parents taught her to be like that,« Neil said.

»When is it that we have to be there for the picnic?« Claire asked.

»At noon.«

Claire looked at her watch.

»We have good timing.«

»By the way, why did Morgan invite us for breakfast? This didn't happen yet,« Neil asked curiously.

»Why? Because she feels guilty for not telling me about Henry, that's why,« Claire said and rolled her eyes.

»Well, whatever the reason is, I don't mind,« Neil said remembering the breakfast she prepared when she slept over, and then he saw how Claire looked at him.

»What?« Neil said shrugging his shoulders.

»I'm jealous of her cooking skills,« Claire said with a pout on her lips.

»Oh, don't pout babe. You are getting better at cooking. That beef stake you prepared for me, delicious.«

»You're just saying this to make me feel better.«

»I ate the whole stake, didn't I?«

»Neil, you would eat the whole stake just so that I wouldn't be offended,« Claire said with a smile and intertwined her fingers with his.

»That's not true. It was a delicious stake,« Neil said raising their intertwined hands toward him, kissing her hand and then their gazes met.

»I really love this weekend,« Claire whispered looking at Neil's eyes her gaze then dropping to his lips.

»Stop it,« Neil said and looked away.

»What?«

»Don't look at me like this.«

»Like what?«

»Don't play dumb.«

»How am I supposed to look at you if not with love, hm?«

Neil turned to face her again and slightly leaned toward her.

»Browne, we barely managed to get ourselves out of the bed. Stop flirting and stop seducing me.«

»Last night was … God, what's the word …«

»Night? You mean night and the whole evening before it,« Neil jumped in interrupting her and Claire laughed.

»Are you complaining?«

»No. But we are now tired because of our sex marathon,« Neil said and couldn't hold back a yawn.

»We barely slept. I don't even know when we fell asleep.«

»Around three in the morning? Maybe even later, definitely not sooner. I'm not sure,« Neil said and smiled at her.

»What?« Claire said when she saw the teasing and playful look on his face.

»This weekend reminds me of our first weekend after we slept together for the first time. We were together just before I started working again after my injury. It was such a crazy and busy week we barely had time for each other. I was replaying our first night in my mind over and over again the whole week. And then the weekend came. We were in bed for almost two days straight,« Neil said and Claire laughed.

»Don't even remind me. I could barely walk for three days,« Claire said and they both laughed out loud at the memory.

»God, that weekend was …«

»… pretty special,« Claire finished his sentence, and then silence took over both of them while they surrendered themselves to the memories from that time.

Claire opened her mouth to say something but stayed quiet.

»What?« Neil asked her seeing there is something on her mind.

»Nothing.«

»C'mon, what is it?«

»It's nothing, it's … it's nothing. I just … I'm turning into such a cheezy woman next to you,« Claire said shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

»Why do you say that?« Neil asked curiously and taking her hand in his again.

»I wanted to say that you … you really make me happy. You … you are my family and … I … I … I love you, ok?« she finished the sentence quickly not wanting to go overboard with expressing her emotions because even though she talked about her feelings with Neil more often in the last few months she still felt vulnerable talking about them.

»Ok,« Neil said smiling.

»What?« Claire asked seriously when Neil just looked at her with a smile on his face not saying anything else.

»I love you too babe and I really appreciate you saying what you feel, I know it's hard for you.«

»My therapist is saying that I should be more open when it comes to my feelings. She says that I'm still holding back due to my past. So … I'm trying to say something else next to _I love you_ ,« Claire admitted looking at him but then looking down at their hands.

»You're doing great. I really like that you consider me a family. I consider you my family too. We are a family,« he said and Claire smiled awkwardly at his words.

»Doesn't it sound weird?«

»Why?«

»I don't know. I just never really knew a concept of a family and now … now I have you and Gabby and your parents. It's … nice. I like it,« she admitted again avoiding his gaze.

»Don't forget about Morgan,« Neil teased her and Claire smiled.

»Even Morgan, can you believe it?« Claire nodded and laughed.

»Look at me,« Neil said and waited that Claire raised her head, her eyes meeting his.

»I love you,« he whispered.

»I love you too,« she answered back and leaned her forehead against his closing her eyes feeling grateful for the man next to her.

»We should go pick up pastries and go to Morgan's. We should already be there,« Neil said putting some distance between them.

»Let's go,« Claire said opening the car door and stepping on the sidewalk.

As they entered the bakery, where many people were already having breakfast and socializing, they were overwhelmed by the divine smell of fresh pastries. They approached the counter and greeted the woman behind it.

»Same as always you love birds?« she asked them with a smile.

»Yes Ana, same as always but I would also need something with cherries for Gabby and another box of some pastries for my friend. You pick, everything here is good,« Claire said and looked at Neil when his phone rang.

»It's Audrey. She's calling me back since she didn't pick up the phone when I called her before,« Neil explained when he saw fear in her eyes that something is wrong in the hospital.

Neil took a few steps away from the counter to answer the phone while Claire waited for Ana to return with the boxes of pastries. As she looked around the room she saw the two detectives she met at the hospital a few days ago. Her gaze met with one of them, but he quickly looked away from her. Claire looked at Neil that was turned away from her still talking to Audrey and she decided she will greet the two detectives so she walked slowly to their table.

»Good morning detectives,« she greeted them and looked at Marco that looked like a deer in front of the headlights not saying anything.

»Good morning, dr. Browne right? It's nice to see you again,« Mike quickly stepped in and offered her his hand that she took in his.

»Yes. I just saw you two and decided to say hi,« she said thinking if it was a bad idea to approach them since Marco was acting kind of weird.

»Good morning,« Marco finally said as he snapped out of trans, smiled at her, and also offered her his hand.

»Gosh, I already thought that you are angry with me or something,« Claire said taking his hand.

»Angry? Why would I be angry?«

»You know, me yelling at you two in the ER,« Claire said with a small smile.

»Don't worry. We are used to a woman screaming at us. We have a female lieutenant that is our boss. So …« Mike said looking at Marco.

»Are you alone? You want to join us?« Marco suddenly said pretending he didn't saw her entering the bakery with her boyfriend and he could see how Mike looked at him with a disapproving look.

»Oh, thank you but I'm not alone. I'm just here to pick up some pastries with my boyfriend. We are actually going to Morgan's for breakfast,« she explained and showed toward Neil with her hand making both detectives look in that direction and Marco couldn't hide the discomfort he felt when his gaze suddenly met with Neil's.

»How is Maria? Is she still at the hospital?« Marco asked trying to change the subject.

»No, she was discharged. She is having therapy now but … she … she is a mess honestly. It will take a lot of time that she heals. I mean, physical injuries will heal but her mental health … I really hope she is going to be strong enough to get through what happened to her,« Claire said.

»Well, with doctors like you I'm sure she will be ok,« Marco said and for a second their gazes met and Claire awkwardly smiled at him at his compliment.

Neil was talking to Audrey feeling calm that Serena is doing great and that Josh is being a supportive husband. When their conversation was coming to an end he turned to see if Claire is still waiting for the pastries and he didn't see her at the counter. Neil's gaze traveled across the room and he saw her standing next to a table talking with two men that Neil saw for the first time. The man that was turned toward him offered Claire his hand and as she took it he threw a smile at her and kept her hand in his too long for Neil's liking. He saw all three of them talking and suddenly he saw how she pointed at him with her hand and that's when Neil's gaze met Marco's and it felt strange.

»Audrey, call me if anything changes, ok? I have to go,« Neil suddenly said into the phone having a weird feeling inside of him.

He started to approach Claire and as he reached the table his arm immediately wrapped itself around her waist and gently pulled her toward him. Claire looked up to look at him.

»Babe? Everything ok at the hospital?« she asked him seeing the serious look on his face.

»Oh yes, Serena is doing great. Are you going to introduce us?« Neil asked her and looked at two men in front of them.

»Oh yes, sorry. This is the lead detective on Morgan's case, Marco Walker, and detective Michael Carter. This is my boyfriend, Neil Melendez,« Claire said and Neil offered his hand to both of them noticing Marco's expression wasn't as friendly and welcoming as Michael's.

»Carter?« Neil asked turning toward Michael.

»Yes.«

»We have a first-year resident at the hospital this year with the same surname. Jane Carter. Any connection?« Neil asked curiously.

»Oh, yes. She's my sister,« Michael answered.

»What a small world, right?« Neil heard Marco say and he could swear that his remark had a sarcastic ring to it.

Their gazes again met and Claire looked at Marco, then Neil, and then Michael and she could feel the tension in the air. What the hell, she thought to herself and felt how Neil's hand around her waist wrapped itself even tighter. She again looked at Neil noticing his arrogant stance and expression on his face and wanted to laugh when the realization hit her.

»Can I ask how is she doing? She kind of doesn't want to tell me anything,« Michael asked facing Neil trying to release some awkwardness between them that was present due to his stupid partner that just couldn't stop looking at the woman in front of him.

But then again he truly also was a little bit worried about his sister. She wasn't herself these last two weeks since she broke up with her boyfriend and now started her residency.

»Well, she's not under my service so maybe Claire is better to answer this question since she's Chief Resident,« Neil said and smiled at her.

»Well, it's the first week you know. All first-year residents are a little bit lost and overwhelmed at the beginning. Starting a residency at St. Bonaventure is not a small thing. She probably doesn't want to talk to you because she finds the work difficult and nobody wants to admit that. But it's supposed to be difficult. She is still kind of searching herself if you know what I mean but they all are. She's doing fine if you ask me,« Claire said and Michael nodded.

»Thank you,« he said and Claire gave him an encouraging nod.

»Well, Jane is probably scared of you since you are so bossy as Chief Resident,« Marco said.

»Passionate,« Neil corrected him and Claire again slowly looked up at him noticing his clenched jaw.

She gave him a questionable look but Neil just shrugged her shoulders at her when he saw how she's looking at him.

»Excuse me?« Marco asked.

»Not bossy, passionate. She's passionate while doing her job,« Neil said seriously.

»It's really the same thing,« Marco simply said and both Michael and Claire looked at each other both of them noticing the fiery exchange of glances between Marco and Neil.

»No, it's not. When a woman is called bossy it usually has a negative connotation. If you call a man bossy he is hard-working, determined, strong, but a bossy woman is always hard to work with and a pain in the ass,« Neil said and Claire gently nudged him with her elbow into his ribs.

Marco already wanted to open his mouth but Claire jumped in.

»Neil, I'm sure Marco didn't mean anything bad by calling me bossy,« she said gently and looked at two detectives wanting to apologize for Neil's weird behavior.

»Yes, I'm sure he didn't,« Neil simply said with sarcasm in his voice and that's when Ana called them from the counter telling them that their boxes with pastries are ready. 

»I'm going to pay and then we can go,« Neil said and Claire nodded.

»Ok,« she said gently looking at him going toward the counter thinking she never saw him act like this.

When she looked back to two detectives, his gaze again meeting Marco's she noticed it. He was looking at her and then again he slowly looked to his partner taking a deep breath.

»Wow, talking about protecting his turf,« Marco suddenly said and it took Claire by surprise.

»What?« she asked.

»Is he like this whenever another man looks at you?« Marco asked bluntly.

Claire stayed quiet in surprise and looked at Michael that just stared at his plate thinking he doesn't want to do anything with this whole situation.

»Whenever another man looks at me?« she repeated his words.

»Yeah,« Marco said again flashing a smile at her but at that moment the radio from the two detectives that was on the table went off.

»To all units, I repeat, to all units, we have a serious threat of domestic violence happening at Balbach Street 23. By the call we got we think that the attacker might be armed,« the three of them heard a woman's voice.

»That's a street just behind the corner,« Michael suddenly said and both detectives jumped up from their chairs.

»Central, detective Walker and detective Carter responding. We are just a street away,« Marco suddenly said.

»The backup is already on their way. Five minutes out,« they again heard a woman say again and Michael quickly threw money on the table.

»It was nice to see you again Claire,« Marco quickly said to her.

»Be careful you two,« she blurted out thinking it is probably the appropriate thing to say and she also felt confused by how quickly the whole situation changed due to the radio call thinking how horrible it must be to respond to a call not really knowing what to expect when you get to the scene.

»I'll try my best. Maybe I will get myself shot on purpose so that you can remove a bullet,« he said to her with a smile but he was out of the bakery before she could even answer.

Claire stepped toward Neil observing him with a little smile on her face.

»What are you grinning at?« he asked her taking the two boxes into his hands.

»Nothing,« Claire answered with a smile on her face.

Driving toward Morgan's place they were quiet. Every now and then Claire looked at him and couldn't help but smile. He was jealous. Neil Melendez was jealous. She has never ever seen him jealous. Not like this. Sure, Jared annoyed him but Neil was never really threatened by him. Did he feel threatened by Marco? Why? As they parked in front of Morgan's block Neil turned off the car and looked at Claire noticing her curious stare and a smile on her lips.

»What?« he asked.

»You are jealous,« she whispered.

»Jealous? I'm not jealous,« he denied.

»You are. Why would you act like you did if you aren't?« Claire asked him and gave him a big smile.

»Why do I have a feeling you are enjoying yourself?«

»So you are not denying it anymore?« she teased him.

»I'm not jealous,« he said seriously.

»Oh but you are,« she said leaning toward him giving him a kiss on the cheek.

»Shut up.«

»Why is it that you don't want to admit it?«

»Because jealousy is not a good thing. Jealousy is a sign of insecurity,« Neil said and looked at her.

»A little jealousy is always welcomed. It shows you care,« Claire said catching his lips with hers.

»That Marco likes you and he is obvious about it,« Neil suddenly said as she was kissing him.

»He can like me all he wants, it's all the same to me,« she whispered into his mouth while kissing him.

»You sure?« he asked her now a grin appearing on his face as he slowly moved away to look at her.

»Are you seriously asking me this? Am I gonna have to repeat everything I did to you last night to refresh your memory and ease your mind?«

»I wouldn't mind that.«

»Of course you wouldn't.«

»I'm not jealous,« he suddenly said again.

»You just keep telling that to yourself.«

»Why do I have a feeling you want me to be jealous?« he said smiling and Claire found it funny how he didn't want to admit he was jealous.

»You were hot. A little bit rude considering it was just the first time you met the guy … but … hot. Your arms around my waist being all protective … I liked the feeling. I never had anyone being jealous because of me.«

»Amm, Jared? He's jealous of me because of you.«

»That doesn't count because I don't want him. I don't need a man that I don't love to be jealous. You are the first man I fell in love with. I love you and it is a different feeling if someone you are crazy about is jealous because of you,« she explained and already prepared herself to open the car door to spet out.

»Wait,« Neil stopped her and took her hand in his.

»Claire leaned back into the seat and looked at him.

»What?«

»What did you just say?« Neil asked her seriously.

»That I don't need a man that I don't love to be jealous because of me.«

»After that …« Neil said waiting for her to repeat the words.

Claire looked at him and smiled at his gentle but serious expression.

»I said that you are the first man I fell in love with,« she said and it was interesting how calm she felt while saying those words.

In the past, she wouldn't say that to anyone because she would feel too vulnerable.

»I am the first man you fell in love with?« Neil asked with disbelief.

»Yes,« Claire said and Neil just stared at her.

»What?« Claire said smiling.

»But I mean, you had boyfriends in the past, right?« he asked and felt stupid that he asked this after a year of being with her.

He was never really interested in how many relationships she has behind her. He also knew she doesn't want to talk about her past a lot so he never pushed her to do so deciding it is not important. Past is past. But now he was curious.

»I just had one serious boyfriend. At college. We were together for about a year. But as strange as it may sound … I never said to him that I love him. I guess I didn't feel like saying it. And now when I'm with you I know I didn't love him. I cared about him but it wasn't love. Maybe that's why he dumped me. He realized that our relationship meant more to him than it did to me,« she said and just shrugged her shoulders.

»You never said I love you to anyone else? I can't believe this …« Neil said with a smile on his lips feeling his heart racing.

»What? You know I wasn't good at relationships. I was convinced that I am going to screw everything up with you too. This shouldn't be a shock for you,« Claire said looking at Neil's surprised expression but clearly seeing the excitement in his eyes.

»I am the only one you said I love you …« Neil repeated and now Claire couldn't hold back a laugh.

»You see? You have nothing to be jealous about,« Claire teased him.

»A man can never be too careful,« Neil said not being able to resist stealing another kiss from her.

»Really Melendez, don't worry. Marco can have his gun, I'm more of a scalpel kind of girl,« she whispered and caught his bottom lip between her teeth gently pulling it.

»Stop,« Neil uttered.

»I don't want to, I can't help myself, it's this car's fault,« she whispered but then her phone rang.

»Save by the phone,« she said and took her purse to look for the phone.

»Hey Morgan, we just parked. We're going to be up in a minute.«

»Yeah right. Just parked. Get your asses up here because everything is going to be cold except for you two of course.«

»What?« Claire asked confused.

»You know, my balcony faces the side of the parking lot. Now stop making out with our boss and get yourselves up here,« she said decisively and Claire laughed and put her phone back in her purse.

»What?« Neil asked as Claire laughed.

»Nothing baby, Morgan's just ... We should go. We're late,« Claire said with a smile on her face.

»Hey wait. Just …« Neil said and leaned for another kiss to which Claire gladly gave into thinking that a few more seconds of her making out with him won't hurt anyone except Morgan's food apparently.

In moments like this when Claire felt so comfortable with him, she was grateful that she managed to learn how to be in someone's life, how to not hurt someone she cares about. Claire knew that she learned this with the help of Neil that was always there by her side when things got hard for her when she struggled sometimes with their relationship. He kept her by his side by loving her and being patient with her which had made her feel happy and safe. She did that for him too when he struggled with his recovery but she knew that she was harder to deal with than he was. Giving this relationship a chance a year ago even though she was scared, her body full of fear, not just because of her past but also because of her working relationship with him, was the best decision she had ever made. Even though she will never forget how they struggled sometimes at the beginning she was grateful for those moments, for those memories because they reminded her how far they've come together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read.  
> What did you think about the chapter? What is your opinion on Marco and his fascination with Claire?  
> Let me know by leaving a comment in the comment section. 🤗💖 For the last three chapters, I am getting fewer comments and I really miss them. I hope you are still enjoying this story. 🥺💖


	25. Make me stay because all I know is how to run away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire remembers one of the moments from the beginning of her relationship with Neil. Morgan prepares a great breakfast and they enjoy a calm morning together. After Neil and Claire leave, Morgan's morning is disturbed by a mysterious envelope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> This chapter again has a long memory that will give you a glimpse of Claire at the beginning of her relationship with Neil when everything was still very overwhelming for her. You will see her struggles with Morgan, how she's trying to balance her work and taking care of Neil, how she will try to stay the best at what she does even though everything that is happening in her life is tiring her out. You are also going to be able to see the first time when Claire rejected Neil when it comes to them sleeping together. I mentioned this struggle of hers a lot of times so I decided I wanted to give you a little insight into it. ❤️
> 
> I hope you will feel the difference in this chapter when it comes to Neil and Claire being a couple. At the present time, they are already confident, passionate, they are in a good place but in this chapter, you are going to be able to see the beginning when they were struggling as they were building their relationship. 😊
> 
> Enjoy reading the chapter! 😍
> 
> Sarah

**Previously on Grateful for you …**

In moments like this when Claire felt so comfortable with him, she was grateful that she managed to learn how to be in someone's life, how to not hurt someone she cares about. Claire knew that she learned this with the help of Neil that was always there by her side when things got hard for her when she struggled sometimes with their relationship. He kept her by his side by loving her and being patient with her which had made her feel happy and safe. Even though she will never forget how they struggled sometimes at the beginning of their relationship she was grateful for those hard moments between them because they reminded her how far they've come together.

***

**Six weeks after Neil came home from the hospital**

_The memory in this chapter was inspired by Sam Tinnesz's song Darkside_

_Even in the dark times  
do you love me, love me?  
Even in my dark side  
will you hold my hand?_

_Claire closed her locker happy her shift is finally over when her phone rang. She quickly took her phone out of her purse and got excited at the name on display._

_»Hey you,« she said smiling into the phone._

_»Hey yourself. Someone is in a good mood,« Neil noticed by the way she picked up._

_»Yes, I am. I'm so happy my shift is over. I'll be at your place in no time,« she said excitedly to see him after a long day._

_»I can't wait,« Neil said._

_»I will just stop somewhere to buy us something to eat,« she said hearing her stomach rumbling._

_»There's no need. I'm cooking.«_

_»Again? You are really spoiling me with your cooking. I could get used to always have food on the table when I come home,« she said stepping in front of the mirror next to the lockers._

_»Well, since I can't work yet I don't have another option but to be a housewife, so …« Neil said and Claire laughed._

_»See you in a bit,« Claire said adjusting her hair looking at her reflection._

_»Drive safe,« Neil said and hung up._

_Claire turned to her left and her right side in front of the mirror to get a better look at herself and decided that her new jeans and new blouse fit her great. She took a skin-colored lipstick and applied it, then fixed her eyelashes by applying a little bit more of the mascara, which had smudged a bit from a busy day. A shower she took after the shift, new fresh clothes filled her with energy even if the shift that was behind her was hard and tiring._

_»You look beautiful,« she suddenly heard and saw Morgan's reflection in the mirror._

_»Thank you,« Claire simply said but didn't say anything to continue the conversation._

_»Are you going to see him?«_

_Claire looked at her and took a deep sigh knowing that Morgan won't stop questioning her so she just decided to answer her._

_»Yes.«_

_»How is he doing? Is he ok?« Morgan asked._

_»He is. He is doing great,« Claire said and Morgan nodded._

_»Did you dress up for him? I see new clothes on you. You really look nice,« Morgan tried her luck and Claire rolled her eyes staying serious not really wanting to talk with her._

_»No, I dressed up for the security guy at his building,« Claire said sarcastically and Morgan laughed feeling grateful that Claire even said anything._

_»Stupid question. So things between you two are good?«_

_»What do you want to know Morgan? If I slept with my boss already?« Claire snapped and Morgan sighed._

_»Claire, I'm trying here,« Morgan said desperately._

_»Well don't. Stop trying. I don't trust you and I don't know if I will ever be able to trust you again. I'm grateful that you were there for me when Neil was at the hospital but that's it. I'm not planning on becoming your bestie,« Claire said picking up her purse wanting to leave._

_»Amm, before you leave. Dr. Lim wants to see you before you go home. She's in the ER,« Morgan said and Claire sighed again feeling tired just wanting to finally go home._

_»Thanks,« she said to Morgan and went toward the door._

_»Have a great evening. Say hi to Melendez for me,« Morgan said as Claire was leaving the locker room but she didn't get an answer from her._

_Claire went to the ER to find dr. Lim, hoping that everything is ok and that she will be able to leave the hospital soon._

_»Dr. Lim, Morgan said you wanted to see me.«_

_»Oh yes, I just wanted to tell you that you are going to lead Coronary Artery Bypass Graft Surgery tomorrow. Here is the patient's folder,« dr. Lim said and Claire's heart skipped a beat._

_»What?« Claire whispered and caught herself having her jaw slightly open in surprise slowly taking a thick folder dr. Lim handed it to her._

_»Yes, it's time. You're almost a senior resident, your residency is practically coming to an end. You're ready to do this kind of surgery,« dr. Lim said looking at her but Claire just stared at her._

_»Are you ok?« Lim asked._

_»Yes, I'm fine. It's just … kind of crazy. A few years ago I came here having no idea what I'm getting myself into and tomorrow I will … I will perform Coronary Artery Bypass,« Claire said and smiled feeling excited even though she is probably going to be scared shitless tomorrow._

_»The surgery is already at 2 PM so you are going to have to come to the hospital earlier than your shift actually starts. Let's say at 11 AM?«_

_»Yes, ok_. _But … who will be my attending? Is there again going to be one of the cardiothoracic surgeons from one of the other hospitals that are covering for dr. Melendez?«_

_»Yes, don't worry. Dr. Lucy Weber is coming tomorrow. She's good. I mean she's not Neil Melendez but she's very good as well,« dr. Lim said and smiled._

_»Well, see you tomorrow then. Thank you for trusting me with this surgery.«_

_»You are a perfect choice for it. Plus, this is the kind of surgery that will bring you closer to the position of Chief Resident if you decide to apply for it next month.«_

_»Wow, you are really not letting me breathe today,« Claire said and smiled realizing she completely forgot about the Chief Resident position due to everything that was happening in her life right now._

_»Are you ok?« dr. Lim asked having a feeling that Claire is overwhelmed by everything._

_»I'm fine. It's been a long day,« she answered and already prepared herself to turn and leave._

_»How is he?« she suddenly heard and her gaze met dr. Lim's._

_»What?« Claire asked and dr. Lim looked at her confused and Claire could see the worried look that suddenly appeared on her face._

_»Neil. How is he? I call him now and then to ask him but well … he just says to me that he's fine. Is he?«_

_»He is. Sometimes he has these moments of desperation because he is stuck at home not being able to work but otherwise he's really doing great. He is recovering and he is, well, I can't believe that he is holding up so good after such a surgery. Honestly, I thought his recovery will be more difficult.«_

_»I'm really happy to hear this. What about you? Are you ok? I know a lot is going on right now. Here in the hospital, you and Neil. Things probably feel different,« dr. Lim asked carefully hoping she didn't overstep._

_»I'm fine,« Claire simply said and gave her a small smile._

_»Don't worry about tomorrow. You're going to be gre…«_

_»Don't, don't cuddle me. I don't need that. I said I'm fine,« Claire caught dr. Lim off._

_»It wasn't my intention to cuddle you. I just wan…«_

_»Listen, I know why you are being so careful with me, ok? The hospital is already full of stupid rumors about me and Neil and I know I look tired and worn out because well … there's a bunch of hard weeks behind me but I'm holding it together, I'm pulling through so don't cuddle me because I don't need it,« Claire said confidently._

_»Ok,« dr. Lim said and felt more at ease knowing Claire is being sincere, knowing she is struggling but also having the strength to deal with her struggles._

_Claire smiled and again turned to leave but she was again stopped by Lim's voice._

_»Claire?«_

_»Yes?« Claire said and thought that she really really wants to leave already._

_»You and Neil … you have my support. And when it comes to rumors … they will go away with time. Try not to let them get under your skin.«_

_»Thank you. You saying this … it means a lot,« Claire said feeling grateful for the support._

_Of all the people that could oppose her relationship with Neil dr. Lim that was Chief of Surgery and his ex, decided to support them._

_»Say hi to him for me,« Lim said._

_»I will. See you tomorrow.«_

_When Claire came to Neil's apartment it was five o'clock. She unlocked the door with her key which Neil had the locksmith make for her just last week._

_»Heey, I'm here,« Claire said as she entered and she immediately smelled the delicious food Neil was cooking and suddenly she forgot about everything else and was happy to finally be here at his apartment._

_»Hey babe,« Neil greeted her from behind the kitchen counter when she came to the kitchen and Claire smiled at the loving expression by which he was calling her lately._

_When he first called her babe it was really strange for her but with time she got used to it and now she really liked it. She stepped behind the counter and he spontaneously leaned down leaving a light kiss on her lips like he was doing it for years already. She loved how they managed to feel more comfortable with each other since their first kiss a few weeks ago when everything still felt awkward and new._

_»I missed you. The hospital isn't the same without you,« Claire let herself admit to him._

_»I missed you too babe. I'm glad you're finally here. How was work?«_

_»It was a tough day but it was ok.«_

_»You look nice,« Neil suddenly said noticing her new wardrobe and dropped curls and he could see how Claire's face lit up at his compliment._

_»Thank you,« she said and Neil found it cute how awkward she still was around him sometimes even though he had a feeling she is a little bit more comfortable now._

_As she stood next to him, waiting for dinner to be done, Claire thought about the fact that she is still being awkward next to him even though she tried hard to relax. And she did relax around him, especially if she spent more time with him but each time when she came to his place from the hospital she needed time to push away all the rumors she heard during the day, rumors that Neil knew nothing about and she also didn't want to bother him with telling him about them. Neil was relaxed with her, she liked how he kissed her whenever he wanted, she loved how with each day their hands were hungrier for each other, their makeout moments becoming more and more intense, how they slowly grew into a couple, but with the rumors about them that were circling in the hospital she was still reminded every day that he is her boss and that she is the resident that fell in love with her attending, and not just any attending, Neil Melendez. Some people at the hospital were shocked, some people still didn't believe it, some people were asking themselves what he sees in her, other's were saying that they knew all along that Melendez isn't as moral as he always let other people believe … The rumors were like a knife in her heart every time she heard them. That was the reason that sometimes she was still more retained with him than he was with her. But she decided weeks ago that she won't run from this no matter how scary it gets. She won't let other people ruin this for her. She loved him, he loved her and that is all that matters. She finally had someone that truly cares about her, someone that she wanted to take care of too. She never felt this way about anyone and it scared her but it wasn't scary enough for her to run away._

_»Come here,« she whispered pushing unpleasant thoughts away, feeling the need to have him close and her hands wrapped themselves around his shoulders pulling him closer._

_She closed her eyes at the touch of their lips and as she felt his tight grip around her she relaxed in his arms._

_»What exactly are you cooking? It smells great,« Claire asked letting go of him and turning toward the stove picking up the lid of the pot._

_»Risotto with chicken and curry. I still have to cut the salad.«_

_»I'll do it.«_

_»It's in the refrigerator.«_

_As Claire cut the salad she was quiet and Neil noticed that._

_»Everything ok?« he asked carefully looking at her profile and he got the same reaction from her as so many times before._

_A smile that didn't reach her eyes, her saying she's ok, that it was just a stressful day. But Neil knew it wasn't just a stressful day to blame. They worked together for years and they both knew each other's behavior and what it meant._

_»I'm leading Coronary Artery Bypass tomorrow,« she suddenly said and Neil smiled._

_»That's great babe!« he said excitedly and when Claire looked at him she couldn't help but smile at how happy he looked._

_»Is it?« she said smiling and Neil saw her smile is genuine this time._

_»Yes! It is. You are going to knock it out of the park. I'm proud!« he said hugging her over her shoulders leaving a kiss on her temple._

_»I should probably study tonight. I have to go through the patient's folder. It would probably be a good idea to go through some old cases as well,« Claire said and Neil shook his head._

_»You're ready. I know you know all the theory by heart. You should just check the patient's folder and then go to bed early to rest and that's it. You are going to be great tomorrow,« he said confidently and tried the almost ready risotto._

_»You really mean that?«_

_»Why would I say this if I didn't mean it?«_

_»I don't know. I … everything is really blurry.«_

_»What do you mean?« Neil asked confused._

_»I get it now. Why the hospital isn't in favor of relationships between residents and attendings.«_

_»Claire, why are you saying this?« Neil said getting worried and scared that she is not sure about their relationship._

_»I … I just don't know if you are saying that I am ready and prepared for this surgery as my boyfriend or as my attending. I … I don't want you to say it just because we're together,« Claire said and Neil took a deep breath._

_»Claire, you assisted me with a surgery like this countless times, you know the theory because I made sure I asked you thousands of questions about the surgery every time as we were performing it together. I would never say that you are ready if I wasn't convinced that you are. If I thought you need to study I would tell you to study the whole night, drink three coffees in the morning to push away the fatigue because you didn't sleep enough. I would be an ass in the morning telling you that you better not disappoint me with screwing up the surgery, ok? I will never hold back when it comes to your work because honestly, that's not who I am. I will always be honest with you, ok?« Neil said and Claire smiled._

_»So you really think I got this? As my attending you think I will pull it off by myself without other attending having to intervene?« she asked again._

_»You got this. But if it will ease your mind we can look at some old cases together after dinner. We can get through possible complications. I think that is the most important thing that you need to refresh,« Neil suggested and Claire quickly nodded._

_»Yes, that would be great,« she said and felt more at ease._

_»My girl is leading Coronary Artery Bypass tomorrow. Damn! That's so … hot,« he suddenly said with a smirk on his face and Claire laughed out loud all of her doubts disappearing._

_»Hot? Just wait that I become Chief Resident. You will have to call me Chief,« she teased him._

_»Are you going to apply for the position?« Neil asked her excited._

_»Yes, I think I will. I think I could be great as Chief Resident.«_

_»I think so too. You should do it. People like you, you know how to lead and take the incentive. You have all the qualities to be a good Chief Resident. Do you know who else is planning to apply for it?«_

_»What do you think?« Claire said rolling her eyes._

_»Reznick?«_

_»Mhm.«_

_»Well, she's a strong candidate but she lacks compassion and most importantly, people aren't really fond of her. When Lim is going to choose the Chief Resident she won't look just at the knowledge and how many surgeries you have under your belt, other things matter too and you have these other things. I think you can beat Reznick easily.«_

_»Well, we'll see. If I get it fine, if I don't it's also fine. I won't obsess over it,« Claire said and Neil nodded._

_»She says hi by the way. Morgan,« Claire said and Neil smiled._

_»I think she feels bad about the favouritism complaint she filed against us.«_

_»She does but I don't care.«_

_»You're really angry with her …« Neil said observing her._

_»You're not?«_

_»Honestly, I don't care. If she thinks that her complaint was justified so be it. She has the right to file it if she thinks I wasn't objective.«_

_»But you were,« Claire said._

_»I won't think about her complaint anymore. You should forget about it too. She did what she did and she can't change it. We should all move on. There are more important things in life,« Neil said and Claire sighed._

_»Dr. Lim says hi too,« Claire said and Neil smiled._

_»She calls me to check up on me all the time. I don't know how many times I will have to say to her that I'm fine.«_

_»She's worried about you. She just wants to make sure you're ok.«_

_»Yeah. C'mon, let's eat. The food is done,« Neil said and Claire quickly seasoned the salad asking Neil to try it since she knew she's really not much of a cook._

_After dinner, both of them threw themselves on the couch, Neil with the laptop on his lap. Claire slowly went through her patient's folder studying the case and Neil asked her to lead him through the whole procedure. Now and then she asked him about some details that she thought are important._

_»What are the possible complications?« Neil asked and looked at her._

_»Bleeding during or after the surgery, blood clots, pneumonia, breathing problems, abnormal heart rhythms, infection at the incision site … death,« she finished quietly._

_»Your patient doesn't have any other medical conditions so that is good,« Neil said also reading about Claire's patient._

_»I wish you would be there next to me,« Claire said and leaned her head on his shoulder._

_»It's going to be fine. Do you know who's your attending gonna be?«_

_»Dr. Lucy Weber.«_

_»Lucy, she's good,« Neil said and smiled._

_»Why are you smiling?«_

_»She's very competitive. Whenever we see each other at the medical conferences she is saying that she is catching up to me,« Neil said._

_»Is she?«_

_»She's five years younger than me and she really is good, almost as good as me already, so yes. She is catching up to me. Especially now when I'm sitting at home with my career on hold,« he said and sighed._

_»Hey, you are going to recover and return to the OR in no time. You are doing great. Some people wouldn't recover so quickly,« Claire said encouraging him._

_»I know, I know,« he said quietly thinking how much he misses work but then he looked at Claire and smiled putting the laptop away and making them both lay down on the couch, Claire's giggles filling up the room as he wrapped his arms around her._

_»Enough studying. You've got this,« he said leaning down to kiss her._

_»We shouldn't start this … I should go to sleep,« Claire said slightly moving away from him._

_»It's just nine o'clock. I can steal just a little bit more of your time to do this,« he said quietly and again found her lips._

_They lay next to each other and Claire felt Neil's hand sliding up her thigh and he slowly pulled her leg over his hip making her scoot closer to him._

_»You're very distracting,« she whispered._

_»Really?«_

_»Mhm.«_

_»This is distracting for you? You have no idea how distracting I can be,« he whispered as his lips found their way down her neck to her cleavage, his fingers starting to unbutton three little buttons on her blouse._

_Claire didn't comment on his remark. She just smiled at his arrogant tone and relaxed next to him simply enjoying the moment that felt really good after a hard day at work. Even though they were taking things slow she couldn't not notice that in the last two weeks Neil got bolder with her, they both did. They both started to feel this burning desire deep down inside them that was pulling them closer with each touch, each kiss, each sound their bodies were making as they were making out._

_»Come here,« he suddenly whispered as he got himself into a sitting position pulling her up with him to be able to undress her blouse off her and Claire didn't miss her chance to pull off his T-shirt as well._

_They again laid down and Claire's hand traveled over his warm skin from his lower back up to his neck where her fingers tangled into his hair making his breath hitch and his body shiver at the touch._

_»Tell me something. Do you always wear underwear like this or is this just for me?« Neil asked his gaze falling to her chest at her black lace bra his finger tracing the edge of the material on the top of her breast making Claire close her eyes at the touch._

_»I like sexy underwear. I always wear it but this set ... it's new. It's just for you,« she said quietly feeling her heart beating faster._

_»Good,« Neil whispered his lips finding hers again, his tongue tangling with hers making her let out a soft moan._

_Neil felt how Claire cupped his face between her hands, deepened the kiss and Neil gently pulled off the strap of her bra from her shoulder. He wanted her and he couldn't deny it anymore. He wanted her since that night at the bar when he caught himself for the first time thinking about taking her home to make love to her, branding her with his touch so she wouldn't want any other man ever again except him._

_Claire craved his touch, she couldn't get enough of it and she also felt that Neil is getting more eager with every second that passed. She thought if this is it if this is the moment it will happen, the moment when she will sleep with him for the first time. All of a sudden he got up to his knees, his hands pulling her down the couch toward him by her hips and Claire closed her eyes the presence of his body hovering above her consuming her making her breath heavier. His lips again crashed against hers, his tongue being more aggressive. As he straightened up again to get a better look at her she followed him, hungrily searching for his lips and he once more pushed her down to the couch._

_»God, I want you, I want you so bad,« he whispered his lips traveling down her body._

_Claire wasn't able to answer. She could barely breathe because of everything he made her feel. She felt how Neil pulled off the lace on one side of her bra from her breast, revealing her hard nipple leaving a tiny teasing kiss on it making her moan. Her back arched toward him from the couch wanting more. This is the moment, she thought to herself. This is the moment when he is going to make her his. The moment when he is going to be hers. They never went so far. Until now he was never so eager and determined of getting her naked. She felt his lips on her stomach and how his fingers started getting busy with unbuttoning the button of her jeans and suddenly … suddenly something changed inside of her. She opened her eyes, feeling her pleasure is drifting away for some reason. Looking at the ceiling she tried to figure out why all of a sudden this feeling of unsureness crept into her body. She again felt Neil's lips at the crook of her neck and she desperately wanted to push the unwelcoming feeling of unsureness away. What is going on with her? She wants this. She wants him. She wants him for quite some time and now when she can finally have him she is unsure? The harder she tried to ignore her discomfort the worst it got. Suddenly she was remembering about her nights at the bars, going home with a different guy every night. She will mess this up. She will, she thought. She will mess this up like she did in the past and she will drag Neil down with her. She will hurt him because she doesn't know to be in a serious relationship. She will hurt the person that means everything to her. Her thoughts were interrupted with Neil's lips that again found hers but it wasn't the same anymore. She was distracted. Suddenly she felt Neil pulling down the zipper of her jeans, his hand trying to find a way under her jeans and underwear and that's when the panic really hit her. She couldn't do this._

_»Stop … Neil, stop!« she said in panic grabbing his hand preventing him from continuing what he had begun._

_»Claire, babe, what's wrong?« he quickly asked looking at her with worry starting to get off her giving her some space._

_»I … can't. I … I can't do this … I … I'm sorry … it's … I can't,« she stuttered pushing him away starting to get off the couch while she fixed her bra in place._

_Neil watched in surprise how she looked over the floor in a panic looking for her blouse and he couldn't move thinking what was it that he did wrong. Obviously, he overstepped. But how? Was he so lost in her presence that he didn't notice she didn't want this? How didn't he noticed she wasn't ok? When she picked up her blouse from the floor she squeezed it close to her chest to cover up and turned away from him going straight toward the bathroom not even looking at him. When Neil heard the bathroom door slam and the sound of the key turning, he finally woke up from the shock. He picked up his T-shirt as well and got dressed and then went toward the bathroom door._

_»Claire? Are you ok?« he asked standing in front of the locked door but she didn't answer him._

_»Listen, I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean to overstep. I got carried away. I … I thought you wanted this too, it's … Just .. talk to me. Please,« he said leaning on the door feeling worried._

_Nothing. Silence. Neil took a deep breath not knowing what to do._

_»Claire, listen, it's fine. Whatever it is, don't worry. We will figure it out.«_

_Nothing._

_»Claire, please … talk to me.«_

_Silence._

_»Ok … you don't have to talk to me. Whatever you want ... just … open the door and come out. I'm getting worried here,« he said and hoped that she will come out._

_After a minute when he was seriously considering busting the door down he suddenly heard the key turning and he stepped away from the door to give her some space when she comes out. The door slowly opened and as soon as he saw her he noticed she was crying._

_»Claire? Babe, what is going on?« he asked softly and carefully raised his hands touching her upper arms._

_»Look at me,« he encouraged her when her gaze was everywhere but on him._

_»I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I just, I can't do this.«_

_Neil panicked deep inside him. What was it that she can't do? Was it just the sex she opposed to at this moment or was it the whole relationship she meant? He really hoped that it was just the first thing._

_»What can't you do?« he carefully asked trying to get his answer._

_»I … I can't sleep with you. Not yet … I just can't,« she said and looked at him and then quickly looked away again avoiding his eyes._

_»Hey, look at me. Claire, look at me,« he encouraged her and waited for her to lift up her head to face him._

_»It's ok. It's ok, don't worry. We can wait. I got carried away, I'm sorry,« he said trying to reassure her._

_»What are you sorry for? You did nothing wrong. You want me which is understandable since we are in a relationship and here I am ruining everything as always.«_

_»What are you talking about? You are not ruining anything. So what if you don't want to have sex yet. We can go slow, I don't mind it. We said we will go slow and I still ... I … I went too far. I'm sorry,« he said._

_»Stop apologizing Neil, please. I wanted to be with you too. I really did. I do. For Christ's sake, I want you for so long already but I can't, I .... God, I led you on making you believe that this will finally happen, and …gosh, I feel so stupid. I'm so sorry,« Claire said not wanting to tell him how her past was catching up with her, how it is creeping into her mind making her feel worthless, how she was scared that sex will end everything great and good they had, how it will ruin their relationship, their friendship, everything._

_Neil pulled her into his embrace, squeezing her close._

_»It's ok babe, it's ok. Don't worry about it, it's fine.«_

_»I think it would be best if I go,« she suddenly said pulling away from him thinking that all she really knows is how to run away, and even though she promised herself she won't run away, she is again going to do just that._

_Run away. Be a coward again. You're good at that. Run away from the only person that gives a shit about you, she thought to herself desperately wanting to know how to react in another way._

_»Claire, you don't have to go,« he said as she went toward the hallway._

_»Claire, you don't have to go, did you hear me?!« he said louder and more determined as he followed her knowing that now he will have to be more stubborn than her if he wants to make her stay._

_»I have to go.«_

_Please, make me stay, she thought to herself. I don't want to go. Please, make me stay … I don't know how to stay. All I know is how to run away._

_»No, you don't have to go,« he said grabbing her by her upper arm and pulling her up as she was putting on her shoes._

_»Answer me this. Do you want to go right now? Do you really want to go and leave me right now after what just happened? Don't you think it's better if we stay together? Don't you think being here with me is better than going to your empty apartment?« Neil said more firmly this time hoping her panic will subside and she will think about his words._

_She looked at him, at his worried, pleading eyes that were also full of strength. The strength she didn't have herself._

_»I don't want to go. I want to be here with you,« she said in defeat her voice barely a whisper._

_»Then don't go. Stay. Here. With me,« Neil said more calmly._

_»You really want me to stay?«_

_»Of course I want you to stay. I love you. Claire, it isn't the end of the world if you don't want to sleep with me yet, you know? This, our relationship, it's new and it's different and just about two months ago we had no idea we are going to be together. Two months ago we thought I was going to die. It's nothing wrong if you want to take it slow. Listen, I won't deny it. I want you. I want you desperately since that night at a bar when we got drunk together my mind not being able to think clearly. Since that moment in the taxi when you were just a seat away and I realized I'm in so much trouble because of my feelings for you. But that doesn't mean I'm not prepared to follow your pace. I'll wait for you,« he said and Claire couldn't hold back the tears anymore as she wrapped her arms around him squeezing him in a tight hug._

_»I love you too,« she sobbed into his shoulder._

_»Babe, stop crying. Don't cry,« he said gently caressing her back holding her close feeling the tight grip of her arms around him._

_»Neil, what if I'm going to mess this up?« she said slowly pulling away from him._

_»I won't let you,« he whispered and moved away a strand of her hair from her cheek that was wet with tears._

_»I'm sorry. If I knew I wasn't ready I wouldn't let it go so far,« she said and Neil shook his head._

_»Stop apologizing. Plus, you know, I probably wouldn't be much of a performer in bed since my abdomen still hurts a little bit,« he said with a teasing voice and that made her smile._

_»Stop making me feel better,« she said smiling._

_»You have nothing to feel bad about. C'mon, let's go back to the living room,« he said and waited she took off her shoes again and then took her by the hand._

_As they came back to the living room Neil laid down on the couch gently pulling her down with him and with that encouraging her to lay down next to him which she did. He pulled her closer, spooning her and he felt how she relaxed next to him taking a deep breath._

_»I'm really glad you stayed,« he whispered his hand caressing her stomach._

_»Thank you for making me stay,« she whispered as she closed her eyes now really feeling tired because of everything she went through today._

_She felt like she's on a roller coaster of emotions._

_»Always,« he said and kissed her cheek._

_Neil was laying there holding her close to him feeling how her body relaxed as sleep took over her. He thought about what happened and the possible reasons. He knew that something shifted in her mind so that she reacted in a way she did. She was into it just as much as he was but something made her hold back. He wanted to know what it was, he wanted to have a reason the would explain her reaction but he knew he will have to be patient. She wasn't big on talking about her problems but he was sure that with time she will confide in him. He just needs to be patient with her. As he laid next to her he realized it was already half-past eleven. He needed to get her to bed so she gets proper sleep before the big day that is waiting for her tomorrow._

_»Claire, babe …« he said quietly caressing her upper arm._

_»Mmm?« she murmured slowly waking up._

_»I would love to pick you up and take you to bed but my abdomen still hurts so it's probably not a good idea,« he said and Claire slowly put herself in the sitting position._

_She turned around to look at him._

_»Does it hurt a lot?« she asked him._

_»No, just at certain movements. I even stopped taking painkillers.«_

_»That's good,« Claire said happily that the pain is now bearable for him._

_»Are you going to bed too?« she asked him because she wanted to be close to him._

_»Yes. I'm tired as well. Go change, I'm right behind you,« he encouraged her and Claire nodded with a small tired smile on her face._

_As Neil got himself into bed she scooted closer to him and he gladly wrapped her into his embrace._

_»Sleep babe, tomorrow is a big day,« Neil whispered._

_»I hope everything will go well,« she said looking at him._

_»You're going to be great.«_

_Claire smiled at his encouraging words and locked his gaze with him._

_»What?« he whispered when she just stared at him._

_»I want to kiss you,« she whispered not knowing if she should make the move after what happened earlier._

_»Woman, what are you waiting for? You can kiss me whenever you want,« he said playfully and Claire couldn't help a big smile forming on her lips before she leaned in to kiss him goodnight._

_»I love you,« she said to him caressing his cheek._

_»I love you too,« he gently said back hugging her tight hearing how she sighed before she closed her eyes and let sleep take over her body._

_***_

**Morgan's apartment, 9.14 AM**

»Finally! What took you so long? Next time I will tell you an hour that will be thirty minutes before the actual hour you have to be here. Then maybe you won't be late,« Morgan said as she opened the door for them.

»Good morning to you too,« Claire said smiling.

»Sorry for being late,« Neil said.

»Well, at least one of you still has manners. Get in,« Morgan said and stepped aside so they could enter.

»We picked up some pastries. I hope that's good enough for you to stop bitching about us being late,« Claire said and showed at the box Neil was holding in his hands.

»Are these from the bakery I think they are?« Morgan asked and Neil nodded with a smile.

»Ok, you are forgiven for being late. Even though I think that it wasn't the stop at the bakery that made you late,« Morgan teased.

»What do you mean?« Neil said.

»I saw you making out in the car like two teenagers when I went for fresh herbs that I have on my balcony.«

»That was just an illusion. What kind of herbs do you grow on that balcony, hm?« Neil said and Morgan laughed.

»None of them cause illusions, so …«

»Now I know why I said yes to this breakfast,« Claire said looking at the table reaching for a cracker.

»I'm starving,« Neil said looking at all the food.

»You are always starving. Doesn't she feed you?« Morgan asked him and Neil laughed.

»Barely,« he said looking at Claire that plucked a berry of grapes and threw it toward him but Neil smoothly caught it with his mouth and Morgan laughed at the scene in front of her.

»Showoff,« Claire said rolling her eyes.

»Morgan, I need to use your bathroom. Where is it?« Neil asked.

»Oh, there, behind that wall. Second door to the right,« Morgan said and immediately turned toward Claire when they were alone as she also started to prepare omelets.

»You two look like you haven't slept. A free weekend should be used for rest, getting yourself fueled with fresh energy,« Morgan said smiling.

»Don't even say anything. I will probably fall asleep behind some bush at Gabby's picnic.«

»What the hell were you two doing?«

»Do I really need to explain it to you?« Claire asked with a smile on her face and Morgan quickly shook her head.

»No, I don't need details. I've seen enough of you two today anyway. But seriously, when did you fall asleep?«

»Three in the morning? I'm not sure.«

»Oh God, you two really are taking advantage of your free time.«

»What about you, hm? I thought White is going to be here. Didn't he spend the night?« Claire asked.

»I know the guy for a week and as much as I like him I won't sleep with him anytime soon,« Morgan said her voice full of determination that Claire found funny.

»So you like him, hm?« Claire asked with excitement.

»Yes, I like him,« Morgan admitted.

»I bet you will sleep with him in … I don't know … two weeks.«

»I won't.«

»Oh, c'mon. You won't be able to resist him. He's too hot and too sweet for you to hold back with him.«

»Says the girl that waited four months to have sex with her hot boss slash boyfriend,« Morgan said and Claire rolled her eyes.

»Not the same. I was messed up, you are not. Maybe it will happen after the gala. I assume you are going together since you were shopping for clothes together.«

»Yes, we are going to go to the gala together,« Morgan said and Claire clapped her hands in excitement.

»Great! That's really great Morgan. I'm happy for you.«

»Yeah, we'll see where this leads.«

»Morgan, why do you have your window open in the middle of the hot summer?« Neil suddenly asked when he came back.

»It was open? Again? I tried to fix it but something is wrong with the hook or something. I don't know. It keeps on opening.«

»Do you have some tools? I can look at it,« he offered.

»I have the tools but you don't have to.«

»It's not a problem.«

»There is a box with the tools in that tall cabin behind the bathroom door,« Morgan said and Neil disappeared again.

»Morgan, I witnessed something today and I tell you … it was a blessing for my eyes,« Claire said and Morgan looked at her curiously turning over the omelet she had on the pan.

»What?«

»A jealous Melendez,« Claire said and smiled.

»Jealous Melendez?«

»The lead detective on your case? You know … Marco? He had breakfast with his partner at the bakery when we picked up the pastries. I saw them so I approached them while Neil was on the phone and when he came toward us … I mean, he didn't even know the guy yet but was there standing with his arrogance on full display, with his arm tight around me. It was so weird but so hot. And you should hear Neil correcting Marco's use of vocabulary, it was …«

»Wait. What did Marco actually do to get Neil to that point?« Morgan asked remembering Marco asking her about Claire.

»Well, I don't know. He was smiling at me and now when I think about it he was kind of checking me out … he actually kind of gave me a compliment. Two of them. I didn't really pay much attention at the beginning but when Neil went all protective on me I noticed it. He even asked me if Neil always gets so protective when another man looks at me.«

»What? He asked you that in front of Melendez?«

»Nooo, Neil was paying for the pastries. This was just before they got called over the radio and had to leave the bakery. Do you know what he said to me before he left? That maybe he is going to let himself get shot so I will remove a bullet.«

»Idiot, he's such an idiot,« Morgan suddenly said laughing.

»Why do you think that?« Claire asked.

»He asked me about you when I was at the police station for the second time. Apparently, he likes you.«

»What? What did you say to him? What did he ask about me?«

»If your relationship with Neil is serious.«

»Oh my God. Seriously? So he really is like … into me?«

»Yeah, I told him to forget about you but obviously he didn't listen to me.«

»Shit. God, I really don't need this. I don't need another guy to pursue me. Jared was enough already,« Claire said.

»Well, if you meet him again or if he reaches out, just tell him you're not interested.«

»Yeah. God, now I wish I didn't approach them to say hi,« Claire said.

»Oh, c'mon. It's not the end of the world. So what if he likes you. Plus, you wouldn't see a jealous Neil if this didn't happen.«

»I have never seen him like this. But of course, he doesn't want to admit it. He says that jealousy is the sign of insecurity.«

»Ooooh, of course, Neil Melendez isn't insecure about himself,« Morgan said laughing.

»Of course not. He is a personification of self-confidence, arrogance, and the biggest ego there is. Not a shred of insecurity there,« Claire said mockingly and Morgan laughed again.

»But you know … It felt good seeing him jealous. I don't know why,« Claire said seriously.

»Well, it shows that he cares about you, that he thinks that he could lose you. That gives you power.«

»But he won't lose me.«

»Well, deep down he knows that but I think it's good if the fear of losing someone because of someone else is always present.«

»Why?« Claire asked.

»Because then you never stop trying to be the best partner you can be to someone. If you get too comfortable in a relationship, if you start taking someone for granted … then you can't really be surprised if you lose them to another person. Him being worried, jealous, afraid a little bit … it is a good thing. It also shows that he thinks you are a kind of woman another man would want which means he thinks highly of you.«

Claire thought about Morgan's words.

»When … when did you get so … You should speak with your patients like this. I mean I know you do sometimes but you should do it more often,« Claire said and looked at Morgan in surprise and Morgan just shrugged her shoulders.

»Yeah, I'm trying to be more sensitive and more humane,« Morgan simply said happily that Claire noticed she is changing.

»All done,« they suddenly heard Neil coming back.

»Were you able to fix it?« Morgan asked.

»Yes, it should be ok. I mean it's a small window but with the heat outside you had a sauna in the bathroom.

»Thank you. C'mon, let's eat now,« Morgan encouraged them and they sat down at the table.

Neil scanned the table and was the first to reach for the goodies Morgan had prepared. Claire watched him load his plate.

»What?« he asked when he noticed she is observing him.

»Nothing, nothing. You know, nobody will steal the food from the table,« Claire said looking at Neil's full plate and Morgan laughed at Neil's confused expression.

»I'm really hungry ok? I didn't eat anything since that lunch at the shopping mall yesterday. I'm starving,« Neil said.

»Eat, you just eat the delicious food Morgan prepared. You never eat so much when I cook,« Claire said and Morgan again laughed while Neil rolled his eyes with a smile on his face.

»Oh, c'mon. I always eat everything,« Neil protested.

»You know Morgan, she prepared me a beef steak with chocolate sauce the other day,« Neil said proudly.

»Wow Browne, that's fancy,« Morgan said smiling looking at Claire knowing she helped her prepare it through a video call.

»I ate the whole steak.«

»You left one,« Claire said.

»Babe, the steaks were huge. I couldn't eat both of them.«

»Yeah right, excuses,« Claire said.

»You know if I eat everything she says I am doing it just because I don't want to hurt her feelings, and if I don't eat everything she again says that I don't like her cooking. I really can't win in any case,« Neil said to Morgan.

»Well, she really was the worst cook. It's justified that she is insecure,« Morgan said looking at Claire.

»I'm not insecure.«

»Yes, you are. How else would you call it?«

»Just, let's eat,« Claire said as Neil and Morgan laughed at how she finished the conversation when it didn't go in the direction she wanted.

They ate in silence for a few moments enjoying the food and the quiet music that was playing in the background.

»Babe, can you hand me the coffee?«

»Again? This is going to be your third cup,« Claire said reaching for the coffee.

»Well, maybe you shouldn't keep me up the whole night then,« Neil said and Morgan raised her gaze from the plate looking at the couple in front of them with a little smile on her lips.

»I was keeping you up? You were keeping me up,« Claire said whispering.

»Not true,« he whispered back.

»You know that I can hear you, right? Whispering doesn't help,« Morgan said.

»Just for the record, she was keeping me up,« Neil said to Morgan.

»The horror,« Morgan said and Claire laughed pouring another cup of coffee for Neil.

»Here you go. So that you won't fall asleep because of me,« Claire teased him.

Morgan was looking at them feeling happy.

»Thank you,« she suddenly said and both Neil and Claire looked up at her in confusion.

»For what?« Neil asked.

»For being like this. You two are letting your guard down next to me. I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough around me to do that,« Morgan said and Neil just waved his hand like it's nothing.

»We are here having breakfast with you at your home on Sunday. I guess we are way beyond the point to feel like we have to hide our feelings from you,« Neil said.

»I'm really glad you trust me,« Morgan said smiling and looked at Claire that also had a friendly smile on her face and Morgan couldn't be happier for Claire that looked really happy, calm and so in love.

»Oh my God, I forgot to put on the pastries you brought,« Morgan suddenly said and went to the kitchen to bring them, and as Morgan was facing them with her back Neil grabbed the chance and stole a kiss from Claire that was still eating.

»Hey, stay at your side of the table,« she said scolding him but with a smile on her face.

»Why? You didn't want me to stay on my side of the bed last night,« he teased her.

»Shut up,« she whispered.

»I love it when your bossy with me,« Neil said and emphasized the word bossy making them both remember about the encounter with Marco.

Claire rolled her eyes holding back a laugh and then started eating again when she saw that Morgan is coming back from the kitchen.

It was half-past eleven when Claire looked at her watch.

»Neil, we'll have to go in a few minutes if we want to be on time for Gabby's picnic.«

»Yes, we should go,« Neil agreed.

»Do you need help with cleaning?« Claire offered Morgan.

»Noo, go you two. I will just throw everything in the dishwasher and that's it. Do you want that I pack you these little pizzas?«

»No, there's no nee…«

»Yes, please. You know, just in case she cooks something that isn't eatable. I don't want to be hungry,« Neil interrupted Claire and she jokingly smacked him over the shoulder.

»You know if you are not going to stop teasing me I will go to this picnic by myself and you can stay here to cook lunch with Morgan,« Claire said and Morgan laughed at their banter.

»Here you go,« Morgan said handing Neil the box.

»Thank you,« Neil said.

»You're welcome.«

As Neil and Claire left, Morgan slowly began tidying up the dining room and kitchen. As she was almost done she heard a knock on the door. She looked through the peephole and saw a child standing in front of the door. Opening the door she saw a little girl about ten years old.

»Hey sweetie, who are you?« Morgan asked looking at the girl.

»Hi. I was just asked to give you this,« the girl said and raised a white envelope she was holding in her right hand.

Morgan took the envelope from her.

»Who asked you to do this?« she asked and the little girl just shrugged her shoulders and then ran away down the hall.

»Hey, wait! Who gave you the … oh shit,« Morgan said and went from her apartment trying to follow the girl but she lost her between the hallways.

»Damn it,« she whispered to herself and looked at the plain white envelope.

Morgan went back to her apartment and sat down in the living room looking at the envelope. She slowly opened it and pulled out what was in it. There were some stiffer papers and after the paper logo on the back, she could see they were photos. When she turned the photos over, she felt nausea overwhelm her body.

In the photos was her. The first photo was from when she and Henry were leaving the hospital the day when she went to the police station, the second photo was from when she was on a first date with Henry, the third one was from when she was with him after lunch, and the fourth photo captured the moment she hugged him goodbye after that lunch. She was looking at the photos over and over again feeling her heart beating like crazy in her chest. She again grabbed the envelope and looked inside one more time. She saw that there was a small piece of paper that she missed the first time. She desperately wanted to throw everything away not even look at the note but she knew she can't do that. She reached in with her shaking hand and took out the small paper. It was halved in half. As she opened it she felt another wave of nausea taking over her body. As she read the note she could barely reach the bathroom before she vomited up all the breakfast she had previously eaten. After washing her mouth, trying to calm down she looked at the mirror hating the fear she saw in her eyes. Going back to the living room she again picked up the note and read it.

_Hey, blondie!_

_I hope you are having a great Sunday. As you can see from the photos I had quite a busy week. Like you. You see to be enjoying yourself thinking you got away. You didn't. I'm not done with you. I just started._

_Enjoy the rest of your Sunday._

_Your admirer_

She threw the note on the table again. She took her phone and searched for Marco's name. He answered at the first ring.

»Morgan, everything ok?« Marco answered thinking she definitely has a good reason to call him on Sunday.

»He made contact with me,« Morgan said to the phone her voice trembling.

»Are you ok? Where are you?«

»I'm home,« she answered tears gathering up in her eyes.

»I'm already leaving the police station with Michael. We are going to be there in no time.«

»Ok,« Morgan said and hung up the phone again looking at the pictures in front of her.

Suddenly the thought of Henry consumed her mind. By hanging out with him, she made him a target. She needed to check up on him, she needed to hear his voice. She again picked up the phone to call him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Let me know what you think about the chapter in the comment section. 🤗😊


	26. You two should get married

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgan deals with the aftermath of the serial killer's note and the photos he sent to her and Henry is there for her. Neil and Claire spend the afternoon with Gabby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers!
> 
> Firstly, things are getting a little bit serious and Morgan's life is again shaken because of Matthew that clearly loves to play games. 🥺
> 
> Secondly, I always loved knowing that Neil is a big brother to someone and when we first saw Gabby I always wished and waited that we will see more of her but we never did. I guess I am dedicating the second part of this chapter to her, Neil's sister. I hope you will find it fun. I enjoyed writing about their playful afternoon. 😊💖
> 
> Enjoy the chapter and please let me know what you think in the comment section. Don't forget, comments are my food. 🤗
> 
> Sarah

**Previously on Grateful for you ...**

Going back to the living room Morgan again picked up the note and read it.

_Hey, blondie!_

_I hope you are having a great Sunday. As you can see from the photos I had quite a busy week. Like you. You see to be enjoying yourself thinking you got away. You didn't. I'm not done with you. I just started._

_Enjoy the rest of your Sunday._

_Your admirer_

She threw the note on the table again. She took her phone and searched for Marco's name. He answered at the first ring.

»Morgan, everything ok?« Marco answered thinking she definitely has a good reason to call him on Sunday.

»He made contact with me,« Morgan said to the phone her voice trembling.

»Are you ok? Where are you?«

»I'm home,« she answered tears gathering up in her eyes.

»I'm already leaving the police station with Michael. We are going to be there in no time.«

»Ok,« Morgan said and hung up the phone again looking at the pictures in front of her.

Suddenly the thought of Henry consumed her mind. By hanging out with him, she made him a target. She needed to check up on him, she needed to hear his voice. She again picked up the phone to call him.

***

Morgan was pacing up and down the apartment with the phone in her hand thinking if she should call Henry. Is calling Henry a good idea? If she calls him now he will know for sure that she likes him. You don't check up on someone that you know for a week on a Sunday if that person doesn't mean something to you. Especially after the dates and shopping, they had together. Maybe from now on with everything that is happening she should just ignore him and when he asks what is going on she should just tell him that this thing between them won't work. She should push him away. For his safety. She shouldn't start this with him in the first place. What was she thinking? With a serial killer on her back, with Henry being a first-year resident. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She will jeopardize her job, his job, and the worst thing she is putting him in danger by hanging out with him. Danger, he is in danger she thought to herself getting more and more nervous her body shaking. She looked at the phone and took a deep breath.

»Just one phone call Morgan. Just one phone call to make sure he's ok,« she said to herself trying to calm herself down.

She was pacing up and down the apartment for a moment but then finally searched for Henry's name in her phone and started calling him.

»What did I do to deserve a call from you?« Henry said as he picked up and Morgan slightly smiled at his playful remark.

»Hey,« she simply said thinking how stupid she is that she didn't even think about what she is going to say to him when he is going to pick up the phone.

»Hey back,« he said and she could hear his playful voice.

»I just … I just wanted to … amm …«

»Morgan, are you ok?« she heard him ask and she was so angry with herself that she even called him.

She couldn't concentrate. She didn't know what to say. He was ok, he was safe for now. What should she say? She just wanted that Marco would finally come.

»Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanted to ask you if you would like to get some coffee in the morning tomorrow before work. In the cafeteria at a hospital,« she blurted out trying to make it sound believable.

»You didn't call me for this. You don't sound like yourself. What's going on? Did something happen?« Henry asked seriously and Morgan sighed.

»It's nothing, don't worry about it.«

»I hear that something's wrong. You can't just tell me not to worry. I'm coming over,« he said.

»No!! No. I don't want you to come over, ok?«

»Why not?«

»Because it's better for you if you don't.«

»Again, why?«

»I am worried enough for myself and for … for Claire and Melendez. I don't need to worry about you too.«

»Morgan, what happened? I'm really getting worried here.«

»Forget about it, ok? Just, forget about me. It's better this way. I shouldn't even start this with you in the first place,« Morgan said pinching her nose wanting to cry.

»What are you talking about? I'm coming over.«

»No, Henry don't …« she said but heard him hang up.

»Shit,« she whispered to herself and threw the phone on the couch and at that moment the doorbell rang.

She approached the door, looked through the peephole, and saw Marco and Michael at the door. As she was unlocking the door she was still shaking. She couldn't stop shaking.

»Morgan, are you ok?« Marco asked with a worried look on his face when she opened the door.

»No! I'm not ok, stop asking me that. I'm not ok!« she answered and went back toward the living room leaving the door open for two detectives to step in.

Marco and Michael stepped into the apartment looking around and Marco saw Morgan sitting on the couch with her elbows on her knees, her hands supporting her head.

»Morgan, talk to us. What exactly happened? How did he contact you?«

Morgan straightened up and showed with her hand on the table where the photos and the note were.

Marco put on the gloves and took the photos and the note into his hands going through them as Michael observed them next to him taking the evidence bag so they could store the photos to send it to the forensic's lab.

»Did these came in this envelope?« Michael asked and Morgan just nodded.

»How did you get these?« Marco asked but Morgan didn't answer.

»Morgan, it's important to tell us everything. Exactly how everything happened,« Marco encouraged her.

»Do you think that Henry is in danger too?« Morgan suddenly asked and looked up at him.

»He has a protection detail on him. I assigned two police officers to him after you decided to start seeing him,« Marco explained.

»He had a protection detail on him the whole time?« Morgan asked.

»Yes.«

»Ok, that's good, that's … good. But do you think he's in danger? And what about Claire and Neil?« Morgan asked again and she started bouncing her leg in nervousness.

»Honestly, I don't know,« Marco admitted.

»You don't know,« Morgan whispered annoyed.

»Morgan, how did you get these photos?« Michael asked again.

»The doorbell rang, I opened the door and there was this little girl … about ten years old I think. She just handed the envelope to me and said that someone ordered her to give it to me. When I asked her who she just shrugged her shoulders and then she ran away. I followed her but I lost her. That's it. I went back to the apartment and opened the envelope finding these photos and the note inside.«

»What did the girl look like? Do you know her?«

»Like I said, about ten years old, blonde hair, she wore a red dress. I have never seen her before. I don't think she lives in this block but then again, the block is huge. Maybe she does live here. I don't know,« Morgan said frustrated.

»Michael, go down to security and check the security footage. We need to get a photo of the girl so we can try to find her. If she doesn't live here and if this person we are chasing just randomly picked her to deliver this envelope the girl had to go through the lobby. He gave her the envelope, she saw him,« Marco said and Michael nodded and left the apartment.

Marco took all of the photos and the note and carefully put everything in the bag for evidence.

»You know, yesterday I had a great day. I had a great morning with friends as well today. I was feeling good, calm. I dared to believe that maybe I got away and that I am going to be just someone that he failed to kill. How stupid is that?« Morgan said and Marco sat down across her.

»Listen, I can't say that this will be over soon and that everything is going to be ok because … well, because I don't know that and I can promise you that. But I can promise you that I will do everything to catch this guy and that I will do my best to keep you and all of your friends safe,« Marco said and Morgan nodded.

»What is he planning? Why can't he just get it over with?« Morgan uttered.

»I don't know what his plans are. But … I do know he wants to enjoy the chase. This is why he is stalking you, now sending you messages. You can be sure that he will reach out again, that I can tell you.«

»What about Maria? Did she call you too? Is she also on his hit list again?«

»As far as we know this person hasn't contacted her,« Marco said.

»Good. She's been through enough,« Morgan said and suddenly they heard a doorbell ring.

»Are you expecting someone?« Marco asked and stood up.

»It's probably Henry. I told him that … nothing, forget about it. It's probably him,« she said not having the energy to explain everything to Marco and she slowly started getting up from the couch.

»Stay here. I'll open the door,« Marco said.

When Marco opened the door Henry looked at him and his eyes immediately fell on his police badge and a gun that was holstered on his hip.

»I'm … is Morgan here?« Henry asked anxious to see Morgan.

»Yes, she's in the living room,« Marco said and stepped aside to let him in.

»Is she ok?« Henry whispered to Marco.

»I can hear you, you know? You can ask me yourself!« Morgan yelled from the living room before Marco could even answer Henry.

Henry went toward the living room.

»Will you even answer me if I ask you?« he said sitting down next to her.

»I told you not to come.«

»Well, I'm not a very good listener when a girl that I'm seeing is trying to break up with me over the phone because she's scared that I would be killed by a serial killer because of her,« Henry said and Morgan looked at him.

»You think that I don't know what is going on in this head of yours?« Henry asked her and Morgan shook her head.

»You should run. You should run away from me as fast as you can. I'm trouble,« Morgan said.

»I'm not going anywhere.«

»Show him the photos, c'mon show him,« Morgan said to Marco trying to scare Henry off with them.

»What photos?«

»He's stalking me. Us,« Morgan said looking at him and his confused expression.

Marco handed him the closed evidence bag and Henry looked at the photo on top where he and Morgan were hugging.

»This is a nice photo,« Henry whispered and Morgan nudged him in the ribs.

»Stop joking about this. It's not funny.«

»I know, I'm sorry. I just … listen, it's going to be ok. It's scary but it's going to be ok. You're not alone in this,« Henry said wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

»He's right about that. You're not alone,« Marco said.

»It would be better if I was. God, why doesn't he just come here and be done with it? Maybe that way I could shoot him,« Morgan said.

»What? What do you mean you could shoot him?« Henry asked surprised and when he looked at Marco he saw that the detective also had a curious look on his face.

»I have a gun,« Morgan blurted out and saw how Henry and Marco exchanged glances.

»I have a license for it,« she added when she saw Marco's look.

»You have a license for a gun?« Henry asked not really looking happy about it.

»Yes.«

»Why do you have a g…«

»Stop. I won't discuss this. I have a gun. End of story. If I have to use it I will use it.«

»Morgan, a gun is …«

»Marco, don't. You are carrying a gun on your hip all the time.«

»I'm the police.«

»Well, and I'm a surgeon with a serial killer on my back. So …«

»You know how many cases there are when people get shot with their own gun?« Henry said.

»Listen, if I will have to choose between a gun and you, I will choose my gun. Especially in this situation,« Morgan said annoyed and Henry rolled his eyes.

»Do you know how to use it?« Marco asked.

»If I know how to use it?«

»Yes. A lot of people have guns but they have no idea how to handle them. Owning a gun doesn't mean anything if you don't know how to actually use it,« Marco said.

»I know how to use it. I'm on the shooting range once every two weeks. I'm actually very good at it,« Morgan said and Marco nodded while Henry just shook with his head disapprovingly.

»You can leave if you're not ok with it,« Morgan snapped at him annoyed.

»Oh c'mon, don't be like this. I don't approve but I won't make you choose between your gun and me,« Henry said.

»Listen, I will get these photos and the note to the forensic lab and maybe we will find something. I will keep you updated,« Marco said and turned around being curious if Michael found something with the security footage.

»You're leaving?« Morgan asked suddenly in surprise.

Marco looked at her and sighed. This was always one of the hardest parts of his job.

»Yes. Right now, I can't do anything except to follow these new leads. And you should … just live your life.«

»Just live my life?« Morgan asked irritated.

»Yes. Like I said. This is a game for this person. And as horrible as it sounds the only thing we can really do is follow the leads and wait, hoping that all of the messages and signs you will get from him will lead us toward him.«

»Great,« Morgan said sarcastically.

»Take care. Both of you. Henry, is it?« Marco said and Henry nodded.

»She didn't know but I assigned a protective detail on you as well when you two started hanging out. Just so you know. You're being protected too,« Marco said and Henry's jaw dropped a little.

»Now you feel like this thing is really serious, right?« Morgan asked Henry when she saw his surprised look.

»Thanks,« Henry said to Marco which then left the apartment and Henry went toward the door to lock it.

When he came back to the living room he saw Morgan that was now lying on the couch.

»I'm suddenly so tired,« she said quietly and Henry stepped closer and sat down on the floor in front of her.

»Rest.«

»I'm scared to close my eyes.«

»I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. You're not alone. Try to sleep a little bit,« Henry said gently and caressed her upper arm.

Morgan closed her eyes, taking a deep breath but then again opened them, her eyes meeting Henry's.

»I wish I would be alone. Like I was a year ago and all of the years before,« she suddenly said and Henry was confused because of her words.

»I don't understand. What do you mean alone like a year ago and before?«

»Then I would be the only one that would be in danger. Now everyone around me, everyone I care about is in danger too because people I care about are my weakness,« she continued ignoring his question.

»Morgan …«

»If something happens to them or you, it's going to be my fault. Claire was right in the past. I'm trouble, I bring nothing but trouble. I don't know how to be a good friend. I mess things up.«

Henry was getting more and more confused. At this moment he remembered Jane's remark about some thing that Morgan did to Claire and Melendez but he quickly pushed it away because it wasn't important right now.

»Morgan, people you care about … they, we care about you too. We don't want that you are alone no matter the danger. We are going to get through this together, ok?«

»God, you know me for a week. A week! Why are you even here? You should run away as fast as you can. I won't blame you if you do, ok? You don't have to babysit me,« Morgan said trying to get him to leave.

She knew that the more time she spents with him in bigger danger he is going to be. Plus, sooner or later he is going to find out more about her, about her past since she is already blabbing things she shouldn't.

»I'm not going anywhere. Yes, I know you for a week but so what? It feels like I have known you forever. I like you, ok? I really like you. I noticed you as soon as you entered that room on my first day at the hospital. I won't back down. Plus, I have a feeling you like me too, so why wouldn't I pursue you and be here for you?« Henry said reaching out for her hand gently squeezing it.

»You should find someone that is easier to be with,« Morgan whispered wanting to cry because she said that because one thing that she didn't want is that he would found someone else.

»I don't want anyone else. I want to get to know you and if I need to deal with a serial killer to be able to do that, so be it. Plus, you have a gun. I guess I'm safe with you,« Henry said with a little smile and Morgan smiled too.

»So you are not opposing the gun anymore?«

»As I said, I don't like it but I won't fight about it with you.«

»Ok.«

Henry gently raised his hand and fixed Morgan's hair behind her ear.

»You are taking advantage of me and this situation,« Morgan teased him with a smile as she felt Henry's fingers linger at her ear when he fixed a strand of her hair in place.

»Sorry, these perfect blonde curls of yours are really tempting.«

»Don't be sorry. It's nice,« she said again closing her eyes and Henry took a deep breath thinking she will finally take a nap.

»I will never forgive myself,« he suddenly heard her say and again looked at her meeting her gaze.

»What?«

»If something happens to them.«

»Claire and Neil?«

»Yes. Do you know he almost died a year ago?«

»Yeah, I heard something but I don't know if I have the whole story.«

»After everything, they had already been through … If something happens to Neil because of me I will lose Claire forever. And if something happens to Claire I am a dead woman. I should then just put a gun against my head and pull the trigger before Melendez comes and slits my throat with a scalpel,« Morgan said.

»Nothing will happen,« Henry said.

»You don't know that.«

»Morgan, we will get through this. All of us,« Henry said firmly and squeezed her arm again.

»I hope you're right. Thank you. For coming over,« Morgan said and closed her eyes for the third time and Henry now saw how her body relaxed trying to catch some sleep.

»You have nothing to thank me for,« Henry said back but he had a feeling Morgan was already out.

He observed her face and couldn't deny that he was scared but not for himself. He was scared for her. He saw what the killer did to Maria, Morgan still had a bruise on her forehead that was a reminder that the killer already got to her once. This wasn't a game, it wasn't a game at all. He just hoped that Morgan will let him be there for her.

***

»Morgan looks ok, right?« Claire suddenly asked Neil as they were driving toward Gabby's care home.

»She seems fine.«

»Don't you think she looks too fine? What if she's in denial of everything that is happening?« Claire said thoughtfully.

»You know, I think that maybe you chose the wrong profession,« Neil said smiling.

»What do you mean?«

»You were probably a therapist in your previous life.«

Claire sighed and relaxed into the seat.

»I just wish I could be one hundred percent sure that she will tell me if something is wrong. But I am not sure because I have a feeling she doesn't want to bother me with it,« Claire said worriedly.

»I don't like it when you worry,« Neil suddenly said looking at her for a second and then concentrating back on the road.

»I can't help myself.«

»You can't make her tell you so it's pointless to worry.«

»You aren't worried about the serial killer coming after her again?« Claire asked him wishing she could be so calm as he was.

»From the attack nothing happened, right? It's … it's out of our control. I will worry when I have to worry,« Neil said trying to ease Claire's mind.

»Yeah …« she simply said and looked through the car window.

Neil reached on the other side of the car and took her hand in his gently squeezing it.

»C'mon, show me your beautiful smile instead of your worried expression,« he teased her and Claire looked at him the corner of her lips perking up in a smile.

»That's more like it,« he said kissing her hand and Claire couldn't hold back a yawn.

»Look at you. I guess I'm not the only one that's tired,« Neil said smiling and Claire yawned again.

»God, I definitely need to go to bed early tonight,« she said her thoughts full of their activities from last night.

»You don't want to have another sex marathon with me? And I was already looking forward to it,« Neil said laughing again kissing her hand.

»Not today baby. We both need to sleep. We have an important surgery tomorrow. We need to be rested.«

»Yeah, you're right. Sex marathon will have to wait,« Neil said nodding with his head as he turned to the parking lot.

»Sadly …« Claire whispered winking at him making him smile.

They slowly made their way from the car to the reception desk of the care home.

»Dr. Melendez, dr. Browne, I'm so happy that you could make it this time,« Sofia, Gabby's nurse said as she saw them from afar and she quickly made her way toward them holding out her hand to greet them.

»Yes, we are happy to be here as well. Sadly we were working when the first picnic was,« Neil said with remorse.

»Of course, I understand. Gabby can't stop talking about you two from yesterday morning when she talked with you over the phone. She's so excited,« Sofia said.

»So, she's doing better now?« Claire asked and Neil looked at Sofia curious about the answer.

»Yes. She is in a much better mood in the last two weeks. I think that now when she has a roommate she doesn't have so much time to think about the fact that she isn't home.«

Neil sighed and Claire took his hand in hers in comfort.

»I wish I could be here every day so that she doesn't feel alone but I can't be,« Neil said to Sofia that looked at him with understanding.

»You have nothing to feel bad about. You are trying your best and you are here often. You visit her every week. And now when you and Claire sometimes come also separated these visits are even more frequent. You are doing great with Gabby.«

»I wish she could live with me but I could never take care of her as you do in here,« Neil said looking around the lobby of the care home.

»Like I said. You are doing great. Some relatives from our proteges don't come for weeks and the worst thing is that they don't have jobs that are so time-consuming as yours is. They could take time. They could come every day if they wanted to but they don't,« Sofia said.

»Baby, you see? I always tell you that you are doing the best you can,« Claire said encouragingly at him with a gentle smile on her lips.

»Is Gabby already outside?« Neil asked Sofia and suddenly felt excited to see his little sister.

»No, she's still in her room. Do you want me to call her?«

»No, we'll go to her room and surprise her if that's ok,« Claire said looking at Neil if he agrees and he excitedly nodded at her suggestion.

»Of course. As you wish. You can then join us when she's ready,« Sofia said and left them alone.

Neil and Claire slowly made their way up the stairs to the third floor. Neil knocked on the door of Gabby's door.

»Yeeees?« they heard and Neil slowly opened the door peeking into the room.

»Well hello you,« he said and saw how Gabby immediately smiled back at him.

»Neil! You're here!« Gabby answered excitedly and got up from the chair to go toward him but suddenly stopped.

»Where's Claire?« she asked and Neil opened the door to the fullest with a smile on his face.

»Don't worry kid, your new favourite human is here,« he said looking at Claire knowing Gabby really liked her.

Gabby loved having a woman to talk to and she excepted Claire as her own sister as soon as she met her. Neil was glad that Gabby and Claire went along so great. Claire was sometimes also visiting Gabby alone and when he was alone with Gabby she always told him how much fun she had together with Claire.

»Hey sweetie,« Claire greeted her and Gabby immediately stepped toward her to hug her.

»Hey Claire,« she said lovingly and Claire wrapped her arms around her as well.

»Mi amorcito, what about me? Don't I get a hug?« Neil said looking at Claire and Gabby wrapped in a hug and Gabby quickly let Claire go and hugged her brother.

»That's more like it,« Neil said squeezing his sister into a tight hug.

»Are mom and dad here as well?« Gabby suddenly asked moving away a little bit and Neil looked at Claire knowing that he will have to disappoint Gabby.

»No, they're not here but I talked with them this morning and they said to give you a kiss on their behalf. They are always thinking of you,« Neil tried to comfort her.

»Yeah, I talked with them too today but I wish they were here,« Gabby said still a little disappointed because of her parents not coming to the picnic.

»Hey sweetie, look what we brought you,« Claire quickly said moving toward her trying to change the subject and put Gabby in a better mood.

This was one of the positive things with Gabby. You just had to shift the attention to something else, something that made her feel happy and she immediately smiled and forgot about the things that made her sad.

»My favourite pastries,« Gabby said excited taking the box from Claire's hands, putting it on the table, and opening it.

»There's something with cherries too,« Neil said and looked at Claire with a smile.

»Aaaaand, something else,« Claire said once more giving Gabby a wrapped box.

»Can I open it?« Gabby asked excitedly.

»Of course,« Neil encouraged her and observed how his sister carefully started unwrapping the gift.

»It's a new puzzle!« Gabby squealed with excitement.

»It's a little bit harder than the ones you have but we can do it together next time we visit,« Claire said and Gabby nodded with enthusiasm.

»Are you hungry?« Neil asked his sister knowing they should get down to join everybody else.

»Yes, I am.«

»Then let's go eat,« Claire said and Gabby took Neil's hand pulling him through the door of her room with excitement and Claire laughed at the sight of them.

When they found their space between the trees at the orchard of the care home, Neil spread out a blanket that every family got to use. Claire and Gabby carefully placed the food they chose on the blanket and they all sat down enjoying the food. Neil saw how Gabby was looking at him and Claire with interest but now he was already used to it because she always did that.

»You two look a little bit tired,« she said and Neil looked at Claire that had a small smile on her lips.

»It was a hard week,« Claire simply said.

»You two should come to live here, with me. No time for work here. Just fun.«

»Sounds nice,« Claire said with a dreamy look on her face which made Gabby laugh.

As they finished eating their food Gabby helped Neil with taking the plates back to the food corner that was a few meters away. Claire observed them and smiled. Neil was great with Gabby and Gabby adored him. Claire found out about his sister when Neil was still at the hospital. He told her about Gabby because he needed her to take to her some things she needed and to check up on her since he couldn't leave the hospital yet. Claire was surprised when he told her he has a sister. Not because he had a sibling but because she didn't know about it. That's how she met Gabby. She came here alone for the first time without Neil and she had no idea how meeting Gabby will go but they immediately connected and Claire visited her alone for a month before she came together with Neil. Gabby was always asking her if she really is just a friend of Neil's or if she is his sweetheart. Claire just smiled at her question saying they are the best of friends not really knowing how everything between them will work out even if they already confessed how they feel about each other.

When Neil and Gabby came back Gabby excitedly sat down next to Claire.

»Look what we found,« Neil said as Gabby threw down the pieces of the puzzle she took from the corner with different board games.

»Wow, this one we didn't do yet,« Claire said helping Gabby with spreading the pieces over the blanket.

»This one is new. Sofia said her daughter doesn't want it anymore and she brought it here because she knows I like puzzles,« Gabby said.

»You know, you two start. I'm going to be right back, just have to go to the restroom,« Claire said to Neil that nodded at her and then concentrated on the puzzle.

***

Claire went inside but instead of going toward the restrooms, she went to the reception hoping Sofia is there because she didn't see her outside.

»Dr. Browne, is everything ok? Do you need anything?« Sofia asked when she saw Claire going toward her.

»Please, it's just Claire. No, everything is great. I just wanted to ask you something and I needed to find you alone,« Claire said and Sofia smiled seeing Claire's playful smile.

»Ok, ask away,« Sofia encouraged her.

»I wanted to ask you how's Gabby when it comes to meeting new people.«

»Well, it depends on the environment. What exactly do you have in mind?«

»Neil's birthday is coming up. I want to throw a surprise birthday party for him and I would love it if Gabby could join us but I have never seen her outside the care home and I don't know how she would cope with being somewhere else. Neil probably knows or has an opinion about it but I can't ask him without raising suspicion,« Claire said and Sofia nodded.

»I'm planning the party at home. It would be around ten people, nothing big. I'm planning to invite Neil's parents and his friends, the closest co-workers and that's it. We will just eat and talk, hang out,« Claire described to let Sofia know how everything will look like so she could give advice on Gabby attending the party.

»I think it shouldn't be a problem. Gabby loves hanging out, she loves to talk and I think she would do great especially if both of you are going to be there and maybe even her parents. When it comes to meeting new people, well, if she wants to hang out with them ok, if she doesn't you don't force her and it's going to be fine. And if at any moment you feel like she's uncomfortable just give her some space, a room she can move away to for a few minutes. Meeting new people can sometimes be overwhelming for everyone, not just people like Gabby but we shouldn't take the possibility of such an experience merely out of fear of how they will react. That's my opinion,« Sofia said and smiled.

»So you think I should bring her to the party?« Claire asked.

»Yes. Ten people is a small crowd. She'll be just fine. I think she is going to be crazy happy about it.«

»Ok. But don't tell her anything yet. I still have no idea how I will pull everything off without Neil finding out about it and I know that Gabby won't stay quiet. She tells him eeeeeverything,« Claire said.

»You'll figure it out and don't worry. I won't say a thing. You should be the one to tell her about the party.«

»Ok, thank you for easing my mind,« Claire said and then went back to join Neil and Gabby.

***

When Claire left them Neil finished doing the puzzle with his sister. She fitted in the last piece and looked at him.

»It's a cute dog. The dog looks like Cisco. His ears are darker than the head,« she said looking at the puzzle in front of her.

»They are, aren't they?« Neil said amazed that Gabby never forgets any of the details.

She hasn't seen Cisco or Bif for years but she still always mentions and remembers them.

»Will you marry Claire?« she suddenly asked and it took Neil off guard.

He looked at Gabby in surprise. He wasn't expecting a question like this from her.

»Well … I hope so. One day,« Neil said and smiled.

»You two should get married. That's what people do when they love each other and she makes you happy,« she said like this was the most obvious thing in the world.

Neil was surprised once again. Gabby always had this feeling for another person. She noticed everything. You couldn't hide any emotions from her even if you tried. She noticed everything. Sadness, happiness, tiredness ... She just laid an eye on a person and she knew in what mood they are. In the past when Neil was tired or worried about something he tried to hide it when he was visiting her but she always called him out on it. Now he doesn't do that anymore because he knows it's pointless. He tells her the truth about how he feels and in the end, he always feels better after visiting his sister.

»She does make me happy,« Neil said and caressed Gabby's cheek.

»Am I going to be able to go to your wedding as well?« she asked looking at him with hopeful eyes.

»Of course kid! If one day I and Claire get married you are going to be a star of the party,« Neil said and Gabby smiled.

»Hey, you two are already done?« Claire said joining them again leaning on Neil's shoulder with her hand looking at the finished puzzle.

»Yes, she is really good at these,« Neil said with a proud voice.

»What do you think if we go and try to win some plush toys? I saw a corner there where you throw rings on bottles. If you manage to throw three in a row, you can choose a toy,« Claire suggested looking at Gabby.

»Yes, let's go!« Gabby said excitedly and they slowly made their way to the corner Claire mentioned and luckily for them the other family that was playing was just leaving.

»Why do I have the feeling you chose this game because of you and not just because of Gabby? Do you want a plush toy?« Neil whispered to Claire as Gabby got distracted by looking at the toys behind the counter.

»What? Noo, not at all,« Claire denied but then smiled at him.

»I knew it. You're such a child,« Neil teased her but Claire squeezed herself closer to him wrapping her arms around his waist.

»Come on, you two. I want to try this,« Gabby said and a man behind the desk gave her three rings which she took in excitement.

»Ok, let's see what you got kid,« Neil said and stepped next to his sister that threw the first ring and it actually spun around the neck of the bottle.

Neil and Claire clapped their hands and laughed while Gabby jumped up and down with excitement.

»Ok, just two more,« Neil encouraged her and saw how Gabby concentrated before throwing the next ring.

»Hey! Did you practice this or something?« Neil asked his sister when she again successfully threw the ring on the bottle.

»No, I'm just really good at this,« she said smiling hoping she won't miss the third one.

She didn't. After successfully throwing the last ring she was now looking at the toys.

»I want that one,« she said pointing in the direction of a toy.

»The grey dog?« the man asked her and she nodded, squeezing the toy to her chest when the man handed it to her.

»This is Cisco,« she said looking at Neil and Claire.

»It does look like Cisco,« Neil said nodding with his head.

»Ok, now I want to try,« Claire said jumping in front of them preparing herself like she will just start running a marathon stretching her arms and legs and Neil laughed at her playfulness.

The man handed her three rings and Claire took a deep breath.

»I hope you are better at this than at bowling,« Neil said teasing her.

»Shut up,« Claire whispered and winked at Gabby.

»I mean, you have to be because otherwise, you will never win a toy.«

»Shut up baby. You are distracting me,« she said to him trying to ignore his teasing, concentrating on the bottle she chose to throw her rings on.

Neil and Gabby observed her from behind as she threw the first ring and looked at each other when she missed.

»Ok, I have to warm up. I will get better,« Claire said encouraging herself and concentrated once more before throwing the ring.

»Ughhh,« she growled when she missed again.

»She really isn't good at this,« Gabby whispered leaning toward her brother and Neil couldn't hold back a laugh.

»Why are you laughing?« Claire said with a disappointed look on her face.

»You're bad at this, I'm sorry but I guess games, when you have to hit the target really aren't your thing,« Neil said smiling both him and Gabby stepping on each of Claire's sides.

»C'mon love, I will win a toy for you,« Neil said.

»You better be good at this now otherwise you will look like a fool,« Gabby said and Claire laughed while Neil looked at Gabby.

»Hey know, don't put more pressure on me,« he said playfully to Gabby and then concentrated on one of the bottles.

»Yeeeey,« Gabby screamed when he successfully threw the ring.

»Well, you still have two more to throw,« Claire said pretending she is not impressed and Neil gave her that half-smile that she loved so much.

As he successfully threw the second ring he looked at her with his arrogant look.

»Just one more and you will have your toy,« he teased her.

»Melendez, you better win this because I already know which toy I want,« Claire said now getting excited.

»Really?« he asked her laughing.

»Yes,« Claire said nodding.

»C'mon, throw it,« she encouraged him.

»Don't push. I need to concentrate,« he said.

»You've got this,« Gabby said looking at her brother.

»I do, don't I?« he asked her back and threw the last ring that perfectly landed on the neck of the bottle.

»Yeeeeey,« Claire screamed and jumped up and down grabbing his head, pulling him close to her face, and kissing him on the cheek.

Neil laughed at her behavior loving how relaxed and playful she is.

»C'mon Claire, you have to pick the toy,« Gabby encouraged her and the man behind the desk looked at her waiting for her choice.

»Ok, I want that one,« Claire said and pointed at it.

»This elephant?« the man asked.

»No, no, the one next to it. The cute deer with antlers,« Claire said and Neil laughed.

»Oh my God,« he said and smiled at her.

»What?«

»Seriously?«

»Yes, seriously,« she said and took the toy into her hands touching the soft antlers.

»This looks like your tattoo Neil,« Gabby said with excitement and Neil smiled.

»It does, doesn't it?« Neil said looking at joyful Claire in front of him.

»How are you gonna name it?« Gabby asked Claire.

»Neil,« Claire said laughing.

»Ok, I just became a stuffed animal,« Neil said and Claire laughed once again at his remark.

»My favourite one,« she said winking at him.

»Thank you,« Neil said to the man behind the desk and threw a voluntary contribution to the box that was on the table before they went away.

They spent the rest of the afternoon playing other games, talking, and they also decided to put together the new puzzle that Claire bought for Gabby.

»Will you come to visit me this week like always?« Gabby asked them when they were saying goodbye in her room.

»Of course.«

»Both of you together?« Gabby asked.

»Yes,« Claire said smiling.

»Good, I like it when you both come together,« Gabby said as she hugged them both and said her goodbyes.

»Take care kid and call me, anytime you want, ok?« Neil said cupping her face.

»Ok,« Gabby said and nodded again wrapping her arms around him.

»Bye,« Gabby said waving at them when they were leaving her room.

»Bye kid,« he said and closed the door.

»She was really in a good mood today,« Neil said happily and Claire nodded.

»Yes, she really was.«

When they came back home it was already six o'clock.

»This Sunday really went by so fast,« Claire said when she sat down in the living room putting the stuffed toy Neil won for her to her side.

»Yeah, it did. You know, Gabby said that this plush deer looks like my tattoo but I really hope my tattoo looks more of like an actual living deer and not like this cute toy,« he said smiling.

»Your tattoo is perfect,« Claire said looking at him.

»You don't think anymore that it has too much antlers?«

»I got used to it,« Claire said and closed her eyes leaning her head back to the backrest of the couch but again opened them when she heard the sound of the rustling of papers.

She looked at Neil that sat down behind the dining table and started looking at the papers.

»What is this?« Claire asked stepping toward him.

»I'm just going to get through Serena's folder again before the surgery tomorrow,« Neil explained and Claire could see that he was worried.

»Hey, what worries you?«

»Nothing particular really. I just, I don't like operating on a pregnant woman. It's a double risk, that's all,« he said and sighed.

Claire wrapped her arms around his chest and rested her chin on his shoulders.

»Everything is going to be ok. She and the baby are both in good shape, with no other health issues that could complicate the surgery. I think with how far along she is with the pregnancy we will probably have to do a C-section but that is not the end of the world right?« Claire said trying to assure him.

»I know but until the surgery is over, until I know that it went fine, I can't be one hundred percent sure everything is going to be ok.«

»No, we can't be but we have to think positive. It's going to be fine, you'll see,« Claire said confidently and squeezed his shoulders to release the tension in them.

She sat down next to him and they both went through Serena's folder one more time.

»I'm excited to be in the OR with you again tomorrow,« Claire said looking at him.

»Me too.«

»My favourite surgeon,« Claire said standing up giving Neil a kiss and went to the kitchen for some water.

»We should go to bed early,« Neil suggested feeling fatigue because of the lack of sleep.

»Yeah, I agree. I'm gonna go shower. Will you join me?« Claire said.

»Yes, be there in a bit. I just have to put away these papers.«

»Ok, don't take long,« Claire said smiling at him and went toward the bedroom.

After the shower, they laid in bed feeling tired and disappointed that the weekend is over.

»How can I be so tired?« Neil said and Claire laughed.

»I'm tired too. But you know what? I don't mind this kind of tired,« she said teasingly her head resting on his chest.

»Me. Neither,« Neil said punctuating every word with a smile on his face thinking about their previous night.

»Good night beautiful,« Neil whispered as he started to feel how his eyelids started to feel heavy and he knew it's just a matter of seconds he will fall asleep.

»Good night handsome,« Claire said lifting her head to kiss him and then again relaxed against his chest letting sleep take over her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read the new chapter. What do you think about it? Let me know in the comment section. 🤗


	27. He's the love of my life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A memory about one of the first nights Morgan and Claire were partying while they were slowly becoming closer friends. At present time Neil, Claire, and Henry are dealing with Serena's surgery. Neil talks with Audrey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> I hope you are enjoying this story. I really like this chapter because of two things. First, the memory. I think it's fun. I enjoyed writing it. Secondly, I am happy that the timeline is finally so far that I was able to write about pregnant Serena and her surgery. This storyline is also going to be important for the next chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy reading and please leave a comment with your opinion. Your comments mean a lot to me. 😊
> 
> Thank you to all you loyal readers that are following my story. ❤️
> 
> Sarah

**Previously on Grateful for you ...**

After a long Sunday spent with Morgan and Gabby both Neil and Claire enjoyed the shower and after they laid in bed feeling tired and disappointed that the weekend is over.

»How can I be so tired?« Neil said and Claire laughed.

»I'm tired too. But you know what? I don't mind this kind of tired,« she said teasingly her head resting on his chest.

»Me. Neither,« Neil said punctuating every word with a smile on his face thinking about their previous night.

»Good night beautiful,« Neil whispered as he started to feel how his eyelids started to feel heavy and he knew it's just a matter of seconds he will fall asleep.

»Good night handsome,« Claire said lifting her head to kiss him and then again relaxed against his chest letting sleep take over her body.

***

**Monday, San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital**

»Good morning,« Claire greeted Morgan and Henry as she stepped into the resident's lounge.

»Good morning,« they both greeted back and Henry was surprised how good Morgan was holding up.

If he didn't know about what happened yesterday he would never suspect that Morgan was worried about everything that is going on with the serial killer. He could see that Claire didn't notice anything either. Morgan was good at covering things up.

»Where's Melendez? We should already start our rounds,« Morgan said knowing they are already late.

»He's talking with Lim. We will do rounds alone today. Well, me and dr. White. You are gonna go cover the ER today,« Claire said to Morgan.

»What? Why?« Morgan asked not in the mood for a boring ER day.

»Dr. Lim is scheduled today but since she was informed just this morning about a meeting at O'Connor Hospital she asked me to choose someone to cover the ER today. I chose you,« Claire explained.

»Oh c'mon Claire, I don…«

»Why are you complaining? Who else am I gonna pick? I know it sucks that we have to be so much in the ER lately but that's how it is when we are almost the only fifth-year residents since both Park and Murphy left. You are the only one that I trust ER to. So just do it, please,« Claire said.

»Fine,« Morgan said sounding more irritated than she wanted.

»Thank you,« Claire said.

»You're welcome,« Morgan said sarcastically and Claire smiled at her.

»Take it as an opportunity to boss first-year residents and nurses,« Claire said and Morgan smiled at her remark.

»I will. Maybe they will complain about me and you will have to choose someone else to take over for keeping the peace,« Morgan said and Claire rolled her eyes.

Claire sat down and her gaze suddenly went from Morgan to Henry and then back to Morgan.

»On how many dates you went, hm? Probably more since you two were comfortable to be in the dressing room together,« Claire suddenly asked.

»None of your business Browne, you know too much already,« Morgan said smiling.

»Two,« Henry suddenly said and Morgan threw a disapproving look at him.

»Can't you keep a secret?« she asked him.

»Why would this be a secret? She knows now that we are dating,« Henry said innocently.

»I like you,« Claire said to Henry laughing.

»Two dates, ok? Two dates. And today we are planning to have sex in the on-call room,« Morgan said dramatically and Claire saw how Henry's head quickly turned toward her bestie.

»Seriously? On-call room? Such a cliche,« Henry said shaking his head while Morgan looked at Claire that rolled her eyes at Morgan's teasing look.

»Do people here really have sex in the on-call rooms?« Henry asked curiously.

»I don't know. Ask Chief Resident or dr. Melendez,« Morgan said looking at Claire.

»Oh shut up. Are you going to hold this against me my entire life? It happened once. Once! And it was your fault, thank you very much.«

»My fault? How is my fault that you and Melendez had…«

»Shhhh, don't say it out loud. It was your fault because you have the worst timing. You managed to interrupt us I don't know how many times when we were home and then the hospital was the only place we could … just, let's end this conversation here,« Claire said thinking how Morgan always manages to flip the conversation from her to someone else in a most teasing way.

»And I thought you were being professional,« Henry said smiling at Claire.

»We are! It's … it's his fault, ok?«

»Melendez's?« Morgan said laughing.

»Yes,« Claire said like it was the most obvious answer.

»Somehow it is always his fault,« Morgan said remembering Claire also blamed Neil for keeping her up Saturday night.

»I guess we're just tired of being careful all the time. We are together for a year and it still feels like we are hiding our relationship here at the hospital. Like we are doing something wrong,« Claire said more seriously now.

»Well, you two are going together to the gala. I think that will change things,« Morgan said.

»Yeah. You know, maybe I should get drunk and behave reckless and inappropriate with him on Saturday, grabbing his ass and purring into his ear like a kitty in front of everyone that talks bad about us. In that way people would finally see what they so desperately want to see,« Claire said and both Morgan and Henry laughed at her words.

»If you do that I will make sure to record it,« Morgan said laughing imagining the scene knowing from before that Claire gets all touchy-feely when she's drunk.

***

_The music was loud and the club was full. The place was stuffy, hot. Claire could feel her hair and her skin is all sweaty and she knew she should go out to get some fresh air. She felt alcohol making her dizzy, her mind being clouded. She usually didn't get drunk so fast, she didn't even drink a lot tonight but not eating properly the whole day caused alcohol to take over her body quicker than she expected. She didn't remember when was the last time she was drunk, tipsy yes, drunk no. It felt good. After a hard shift, after months of being worried about Neil and their relationship, dealing with rumors about them, it felt good not to have control over her mind not being able to think about the serious parts of her life._

_»Claire, I think you had enough,« Morgan said laughing being a little tipsy herself when Claire took the last sip of her third gin tonic._

_»Noo, just one more. C'mon, don't ruin the party. I have no idea when was the last time that I was partying like this. Plus, wasn't this what you wanted? Me being your friend, the drunk me telling you all off my dirty little secrets?« Claire asked ordering another gin tonic at the bar counter._

_»Fine, but then we are going to get some fresh air. It's so hot in here,« Morgan said, waited that the barman gave Claire the drink, and then she took Claire by the hand and led her toward the exit to the club’s outdoor porch._

_»C'mon party girl, sit here,« Morgan said pointing with her hand toward the chair with soft pillows, looked how Claire threw herself onto it and took a seat herself across her._

_»Melendez will kill me,« Morgan suddenly said shaking her head and Claire laughed._

_»Why do you say that?«_

_»We are so drunk.«_

_»I'm drunk, you're just tipsy.«_

_»He will kill me. He asked me to look out for you. He's quite protective. Never saw this side of him.«_

_»You're not my mother and he wooon't kill you. If he tries something I'll protect you,« Claire said laughing remembering that they have to call him when they want to go home._

_Neil wasn't big on the idea of them driving home alone in a taxi so he told her to call him no matter what time it is._

_»I doubt that you are going to be able to do much except chasing balance,« Morgan laughed and suddenly she saw a guy approaching them._

_»Hey gorgeous, can I buy you a drink?« a guy asked looking at Claire._

_»I already have a drink, you see?« Claire said faking a smile holding the drink up for him to see._

_»The next one?« he asked._

_»Thank you but there's not going to be the next one,« Claire again tried to shut the guy down be she saw he again is getting prepared to speak._

_»Just one drin…«_

_»Why are your lips still moving? Didn't you hear her? She doesn't want a drink,« Morgan suddenly said getting annoyed by how persistent the guy was._

_»Was I asking you?« the guy asked Morgan annoyed._

_»Tell me something. Are you the best cardiothoracic surgeon in the country?« Morgan asked and enjoyed the confused expression on the guy's face._

_»Ummm, no,« he said._

_»Well, her boyfriend is and I suggest you go away before he comes and slits your throat with a scalpel. C'mon, scram,« Morgan said._

_»You're crazy,« the guy said to her before turning away to leave._

_»Nothing I haven't heard before,« Morgan said smiling and Claire laughed._

_Claire suddenly stopped laughing and looked at her seriously._

_»You know, he broke me. He broke my mind,« Claire said poking her head with an index finger and Morgan looked at her having no idea what Claire wanted to tell her._

_»What?«_

_»I … I just can't stop thinking about it,« Claire said again taking a sip of gin tonic._

_»About what?«_

_»I finally did it! Finally! Hallelujah!!«_

_»Finally did what?« Morgan asked not following._

_»I wish I would do it sooner. All fears were for nothing,« Claire said and laughed._

_»Claire, focus. I don't know what are you talking about. You wish you've done what sooner?« Morgan said annoyed for not knowing what the conversation was about._

_»Sex Reznick. Sex. The best sex of my life. I can't stop thinking about sex with him.«_

_»Oh God, here we go …« Morgan whispered and smiled at drunken Claire in front of her._

_»I can't stop thinking about it, I just can't. And this busy week doesn't help with me getting laid again. He's home now. He came from work half an hour ago. I should go home. Have sex,« Claire was blabbing her fourth gin tonic making her even drunker._

_»You're not in the shape for having sex now,« Morgan said with a little smile on her face._

_»I aaaam, I so am,« Claire said dreamily wishing her hot cardiothoracic surgeon would come to join the party._

_»Wait … What did you mean when you said you finally did it?« Morgan asked curiously._

_»Morgan, I thought that I'm drunk but I guess you're drunk too. Can't you follow? I finally had sex with him on … what day was it? Sunday … yes, Sunday.«_

_»This last Sunday?« Morgan said in surprise._

_»Yes.«_

_»You two had sex last Sunday? Like, for the first time?« Morgan asked surprised._

_»Mhm,« Claire murmured with a proud smile on her face._

_»But you've been together for four months,« Morgan said not able to believe that they waited for so long._

_»Yup, four looooong months. A mess like me needed four months but now … God, I can't stop thinking about it. That night is like a broken record in my head. I look at him at the hospital and I just want to ride him right there in the hallwa…«_

_»Stop! Stop! Claire, if you were sober you wouldn't talk about this. Just, don't,« Morgan stopped her but then laughed._

_»Well, you did say that I can trust you. And me being drunk is the only way you will get a little bit of dirty details and I know you love those,« Claire said winking at Morgan._

_»You can trust me,« Morgan said seriously._

_»Is he good?« Morgan asked after a few seconds with a curious smile on her face._

_»If he's good?« Claire repeated her question and laughed._

_»What? I'm curious.«_

_»If only you knew … Morgan, this man … he's the love of my life I tell you,« Claire said._

_»Wow, that good?«_

_»Mhm. Best. Sex. Of my life. What was wrong with me to wait so long? Missing out on all of that amazing fucking. So wrong,« Claire said drinking the last sip and Morgan stared at her._

_»Who are you?« Morgan asked a small smile on her lips._

_»It's his fault, it's Melendez's fault. I'm a needy, horny mess because of him.«_

_»I can't believe it. I thought that you were together already before the accident. I was convinced about it,« Morgan said._

_»Oh nooo, he was a gentleman back then. Well, he probably undressed me in his mind thousands of times as I did him but yeah … he was a gentleman. But now … not anymooore,« Claire said giggling making Morgan laugh again._

_»What about a kiss? When did the kiss happen?«_

_»After the accident as well.«_

_»Oh, c'mon! Seriously?« Morgan said._

_»Yes, seriously.«_

_»I can't believe this!« Morgan said shaking her head in disbelief._

_»What can't you believe?« she suddenly heard a familiar male voice and turned to her left seeing Melendez standing next to her._

_»That Browne is such a lightweight,« Morgan quickly said making something up._

_»Well hello lover,« Claire said seductively slowly standing up and stepping toward Neil wrapping her arms around his shoulders._

_»Wait, I didn't call you yet,« Claire suddenly said surprised that Neil is here._

_»I did. It's time for both of us to go home,« Morgan said and smiled._

_»I don't mind going home with this stallion,« Claire said pressing herself closer to Neil undressing him with her eyes and Morgan awkwardly looked away._

_»How much did she drink?« Neil asked knowing Claire's face is just an inch away, her hands all around him and he had to admit that he liked it, her showing him affection like this._

_He loved having this woman by his side for everyone to see._

_»Four gin tonics,« Morgan said shrugging her shoulders._

_»Babe, you really are a lightweight not being able to handle much alcohol,« Neil said gently smiling at her and fixing her hair behind the ear as Claire just stupidly looked at him, her eyes full of desire._

_»Hmm, well, I am definitely not a lightweight in bed. I can take quiiiite a lot but you know that now, right?« Claire said smiling at him and Neil looked at her giving her that seductive half-smile of his but then looked at Morgan getting serious._

_»I'm not hearing anything, don't worry. Just take her home,« Morgan said with a small smile looking at Claire and her hands being all over their boss, well, her boyfriend and that was something Morgan wasn't really used to seeing but she was glad that things between them were ok._

_As they left the club, Neil holding Claire around her waist moving toward the car, Morgan stopped at the sidewalk and took out her phone._

_»What are you doing?« Neil asked._

_»I'll call a cab.«_

_»You can drive with us,« Neil said feeling Claire nuzzling against his neck and Morgan laughed._

_»Tell me something. Is she always like this?« Morgan said looking at Claire._

_»No, I mean, I don't know. This is the first time that she's so drunk next to me. She was tipsy with me once but she was on her best behavior,« Neil said smiling._

_»Well, now you know she is a happy, touchy-feely drunk,« Morgan said._

_»C'mon, I'll drive you home. You don't live far away from my building,« Neil said but Morgan shook her head._

_»Thank you but it's fine. I'll just call a cab.«_

_»C'mon Reznick, you don't need a cab. It's really not a problem,« Neil said and Morgan thought for a second._

_»I don't want to witness you getting raped in the car,« Morgan said looking at Claire and Neil laughed at her remark._

_»She's going to pass out as soon as she gets in the car,« Neil said and Claire protested saying she won't fall asleep._

_»Fine. I'll go with you.«_

_Neil was right. Claire really did fall asleep just seconds after she sat in the comfortable car seat._

_»Did she really drank just four gin tonics?« Neil asked looking at the mirror catching Morgan's gaze._

_»Yes, I swear. And the last two were not even strong because I asked the bartender to be stingy with gin.«_

_»She probably hasn't eaten the whole day. You two had quite a shift today,« Neil said._

_»Yeah, it's quite busy. It really shows that Park and Murphy aren't here anymore. All of their work falls on us but well, I don't mind. More surgeries mean more knowledge. But I guess that now we have to get drunk now and then to be able to pull through so much pressure.«_

_»Yeah … well, I guess it's not just work that puts Claire under pressure,« Neil said and Morgan caught his gaze in the mirror again._

_»What do you mean?«_

_»When I was at home she never told me about all the rumors about us that she had to deal with in the hospital. I knew people will talk but … I didn't know that it will be to this extent.«_

_»She's going to be fine. She's strong and she's happy no matter how difficult it is,« Morgan said._

_»Do you really think she's happy?« Neil asked not knowing if Morgan is the right person to ask but then again she and Claire were much closer this last month._

_»Believe me, she's happy and crazy about you like an idiot.«_

_Neil laughed looking at Claire that was sleeping in the passenger seat._

_»When did you realize you love her?« he suddenly heard Morgan ask and for a few seconds he just stayed silent._

_»Honestly, I don't know. Right now it feels like I love her since forever,« Neil answered and Morgan nodded thinking if this was the moment she should apologize to him for the favouritism complaint but she didn't find the courage._

_»Thank you for calling me,« she heard him say._

_»Yeah, no problem.«_

_The next morning Claire woke up and as she looked toward Neil she saw he was looking at her._

_»Good morning party girl,« he said softly pulling her closer and Claire hid her face into his chest._

_»Ugh … I'm sorry Neil. Last night … I didn't plan to get so drunk,« Claire said embarrassed._

_»Don't worry about it. It's fine,« he said._

_»It was a mistake that I didn't have a proper meal before going out.«_

_»Now that is a problem. Claire, you have to eat and you have to eat healthy. You are under a lot of stress lately, you have to take care of yourself.«_

_»I acted like an idiot. I shouldn't act that way and in front of Morgan. You're our boss and …«_

_»I'm also your boyfriend. It's not the end of the world if you showed affection toward me in front of her. Plus, we weren't at the hospital.«_

_»Still, won't happen again. When you start to feel comfortable around someone, when you think everything is great, bad things happen. I don't want to give people excuses to talk and I'm still not sure that Morgan is trustworthy. I'm such an idiot.«_

_»Idiot in love,« Neil said smiling but he saw that Claire is worried._

_»Listen, sooner or later people will get used to us, ok? And I think Morgan really wants to be a good friend,« Neil tried to comfort her._

_»I know but you know me. I have trust issues.«_

_Neil caressed her cheek._

_»Well, you can trust me to give you the best morning sex you've ever had,« he said seductively pressing his lips against hers._

_»Yeah?« Claire whispered and a smile appeared on her face._

_»Mhm,« Neil murmured his hand slipping under her nightgown but his intentions were interrupted by his phone ringing._

_»Noooo, why does God hate me?« Claire said and Neil laughed._

_»Just wait babe, I'm going to see if it's an emergency at the hospital, if not I'm going to be right back.«_

_»It is an emergency, Melendez. Right here. In your bed. I'm your emergency,« Claire said as he was getting out of bed laughing._

_When he put down the phone he looked at her disappointed and Claire fell back to her back with a desperate sigh knowing that there is an emergency at the hospital._

_»Melendez, I'm dying. My pulse is weak. I think my emergency is bigger than the one in the hospital. Save me,« Claire said starring into the ceiling and Neil laughed out loud._

_»I would love to take care of your emergency but we really have to go,« Neil said already dressing up._

_»Fine. I'll try to survive until my emergency is big enough for you to deal with it,« Claire said teasingly, winked at him, and with that earned another boyish smile from him, a smile that she adored seeing on him._

***

Morgan was looking at Claire with a mischievous smile at the memory of the night they were partying together.

»What? Why are you looking at me like this?« Claire asked.

»You know, if you are going to be all over him at the gala like you were that night when he picked us up at the club, God, that, that would be a scene,« Morgan teased.

»Don't remind me of that night. I have no idea how I got so drunk. I didn't even drink a lot.«

»Oh, all the dirty secrets you told me,« Morgan said and Claire blushed.

»Shut up. God, I still don't remember what I told you. I remember that I was all over Neil but I don't remember telling you anything,« Claire said desperately.

»Well, you'll never know,« Morgan teased again knowing Claire didn't really tell her specific details that she would have to be concerned about but she won't tell her that.

Morgan loved that she could tease her with this from time to time.

»What are you still doing here? You should already be in the ER,« Claire said smiling back at her starting to get up from the chair.

»Fiiine,« Morgan said and left the resident's lounge.

»Well, dr. White, let's start our rounds. We have quite some work to do and we also have to talk with Serena before the surgery so we have to finish our rounds before eight. Let's go,« she said and went on rounds with Henry.

***

»Neil, sorry to keep you waiting,« Audrey apologized as she entered her office.

»No, problem,« Neil said sitting across her table.

»So? What is it that you want to talk about?« Audrey asked sitting down herself smiling at him.

»On Friday I and Claire were talking. I don't even know anymore how it came up but she told me how everything happened with my surgeries. You know, talking with Glassman, you choosing about my surgery instead of me,« Neil started and Audrey nodded.

»I … I totally forgot that you are still my medical proxy,« Neil said and Audrey immediately knew what Neil wants.

»You want to change that,« she said and smiled.

»Yes, I want that Claire is my medical proxy from now on. It's not that I wouldn't trust you or…«

»Neil, I get it. You don't have to explain. It's logical that you want Claire to be able to make decisions about you if you're not able to do that by yourself. It's fine,« Audrey said.

»Ok.«

The silence took over the room and Audrey took a deep breath.

»Amm, you're still my medical proxy too,« Audrey suddenly said.

»We can change that as well, it's not a prob…«

»No. I don't want to change it. I mean, if you don't want to be my medical proxy then fine, I'll change it but I would like if you were,« Audrey said not knowing if Neil will be ok with this.

»I can stay your medical proxy if you want,« Neil said.

»You know, my mother lives far away and I don't have any other relatives here. Plus, even if my mother was here I rather see that you are making medical decisions about me. There's really no one better than you in that department,« Audrey said.

»Wow, really? Did you just compliment me? You, that would operate on yourself if you could? Best trauma surgeon and all,« Neil said teasingly and the teasing tone of Neil's voice made Audrey remember the good old times between them.

»Well, I would if I could but I can't so I will trust the second best,« Audrey said back and Neil rolled his eyes.

»There's one more thing I want to ask from you,« Neil said.

»What?«

»The letter I wrote for Claire a year ago. Do you still have it?« he asked and Audrey leaned back into the chair.

»I completely forgot about the letter. I was planning to give it back to you but well, I forgot. Yes, I have it. I have it at home. I didn't want to keep it here. Didn't want that it would somehow fall into the wrong hands by any chance,« Audrey said and Neil nodded.

»Could you bring it back to me?« Neil asked and Audrey nodded.

»Let's go out for a drink tonight like we used to go out before we made everything messy with dating. I will bring you the letter. I … I miss you, I miss having you as my friend,« she suddenly said.

Neil hesitated for a moment feeling that everything is awkward between them. In the last few months, they weren't really close. They worked together but that was it. Plus, his regret of giving up the position of Chief of Surgery was still eating him which was the main reason he stayed away from her.

»It's just a drink between two old friends Neil. What's wrong with you lately? It's like you're avoiding me on purpose,« Audrey said and Neil clearly saw in her eyes that she was hurt because of it.

»We can go out for a drink. Tonight sounds good,« he finally said and Audrey relaxed.

»Let's say, at seven at our favourite bar?« Audrey suggested.

»Sounds good,« Neil said smiling, and then Audrey stood up.

»Great. I'm looking forward to it. I will bring the letter. I have to go now. Have to be at O'Connor Hospital in half an hour. Good luck with your surgery today,« she said and started getting dressed.

»Thanks,« Neil said, stood up and left the office.

***

»Dr. Browne.«

»Dr. Melendez,« Claire said standing at the nurse's station in front of Serena's room.

»Where's White?«

»He will be here in a minute. We were a little bit late with rounds so I left him to finish with the last patient alone so I could prepare the consent papers for Serena,« Claire explained.

»You look beautiful,« Neil said not commenting on her explanation about Henry's whereabouts.

»Stop it,« she giggled looking at him for a second but then concentrated on the papers.

»Can't help myself.«

»Well, at least try,« she encouraged him but he stepped even closer.

»What's wrong with you? Remember, no PDA. Behave.«

»I thought we are over this rule,« Neil said smiling.

»Not just yet,« Claire said seriously and Neil took a deep breath.

»That will change on Saturday. This gala is a step forward. People have to accept we are a couple. We've been together for a year now.«

»I know,« Claire simply said not looking at him.

»You're still worried?« he asked and Claire raised her gaze to look at him.

»A little bit but I'm excited about the gala. You being my arm candy and all,« Claire said and Neil felt a little bit relieved that she is looking forward to Saturday.

»I can't wait to see my beautiful girlfriend in that gorgeous dress,« he said his gaze falling to her lips and Claire shook her head with disapproval.

»Stop flirting.«

»Whyyy?« Neil said with his boyish smile and it made Claire giggle.

»By the way, tonight I'm going on a drink with Audrey. She invited me,« Neil told her.

»That's good?« Claire asked seeing Neil's uncertain look.

»I don't know. I'll see. I just hope it won't be awkward.«

»Don't make it awkward. You know each other for years. She's your friend. Just … be honest with her if the conversation will go into the direction of … you know,« Claire said reassuring him and Neil knew Claire said that because she knew he's worried about telling Audrey that he gave up the position of Chief of Surgery for her and that this is the reason he distanced himself from her.

»I'll try my best,« Neil said.

»I know you will.«

»You really are beautiful,« he again said, looking around them to check if there is someone in the hallway because he didn't want to make Claire uncomfortable.

Seeing that there is no one around he stepped closer to her, put his arm around her shoulder squeezed her closer, and kissed her temple. Claire closed her eyes at the touch of his lips, his scent embracing her and she leaned into his hug.

»This feels nice,« she whispered.

»It's going to be like this after Saturday. Screw everything. Little gestures like this will help me to get through a hard day. Can't wait,« he said.

»You think that's a good idea?« Claire said when Neil let go of her.

»Good idea? It's a brilliant idea. We won't go crazy with showing PDA all the time but you know … baby steps,« he said smiling.

»Baby steps. I like the sound of that,« Claire said.

Henry saw Neil and Claire talking and the nurse's station and he stepped faster toward them.

»Sorry. I had to change the patient's bandage,« Henry excused.

»No worries. Let's go talk with Serena now,« Neil said.

»Good morning. How is our favourite patient?« Neil asked Serena when he entered with Claire and Henry to her room.

»Favourite patient … you probably say this to every patient you treat,« Serena said smiling.

»No, he has a soft spot for pregnant women,« Claire said with a smile and Neil smiled as well, then stepped closer to Serena looking at the monitor to check her vitals.

»Everything ok?« Josh asked and Neil looked toward him giving him a reassuring smile.

»Everything's perfect. How was your weekend?«

»Calm. We didn't fight. That is really what you want to know, right?« Serena asked.

»It's important you are calm. Like dr. Browne always says. Positive thinking leads to positive outcomes,« Neil said looking at Claire and she couldn't hide a smile.

»Do you mind if we talk through the procedure again? Dr. White here is my new first-year resident. I enjoy torturing him with questions,« Neil asked looking at both Josh and Serena.

»We don't mind,« Serena said taking Josh's hand.

»Ok then. Dr. White, talk me through the appendectomy,« Neil said ad Henry took a deep breath.

»Due to high pregnancy, we will perform an open appendectomy. We will induce general anesthesia. Dr. Melendez will make one incision in the lower right side of the abdomen over McBurney's point. One-third of the way from the anterior … is this too much details?« Henry suddenly asked looking at Neil.

»Too many details? Tell me dr. White, can I make an incision wherever I like, or do I have to know exactly where I have to cut?« Neil asked raising his eyebrow and Henry looked at other people in the room.

»Right … so … you want me to be specific,« Henry said.

»Yes dr. White, I want details. Serena and Josh will manage to survive through the boredom,« Neil said seriously but then smiled at the couple.

»Ok, so ... McBurney's point. One-third of the way from the anterior superior iliac spine to the umbilicus, which represents the most common position of the base of the appendix. We will cut through various layers of the abdominal wall to identify the appendix. After we remove the appendix we will close the incision site with stitches.«

»Good, what about the baby?«

»Well, we will monitor the baby's vitals closely to make sure everything is ok during the surgery but there is a risk of a possible C-section.«

»And?« Neil asked but Henry looked at him not knowing what to say anymore.

»Now is the time when you tell Serena and Josh that C-section is not the end of the world. To assure them,« Claire whispered leaning close to Henry but all the people in the room heard it and smiled.

»Oh yes, right, sorry. The pregnancy is far along already so the baby's organs are practically fully developed. Major organ systems are fully functioning. C-section at this stage shouldn't worry you,« Henry said and Neil nodded.

»Any questions?« he then asked Serena and Josh.

»Yes. Why isn't dr. Browne asked any questions?« Serena asked smiling her gaze traveling between Neil and Claire.

Claire had a feeling that Serena is looking at them like she knew a secret of theirs but then she decided that she is just being paranoid because of so many stares and rumors she faced because of her relationship with Neil.

»Dr. Browne is a fifth-year resident, Chief resident. She could do appendectomy surgery alone. She already got her own share of my torture in previous years of her residency,« Neil said and Claire couldn't not smile and the word torture reminding her that now he performs another kind of torture on her but she quickly pushed the thought away.

»Well, I'm glad I have amazing surgeons around me,« Serena said looking at Josh that nodded still holding her head.

»In the OR there will also be present a gynecology surgeon. Just in case if we will have to do C-section,« Neil said and saw how Josh happily nodded.

»You're ready?« Neil asked Serena and she took a deep breath.

»Yes, we're ready.«

»Dr. White has consent papers for you to sign and then he will prepare you for the surgery. Just a little bit more and this is all going to be behind you,« Neil said encouragingly.

»Thank you,« Serena said and then Neil left the room with Claire.

Claire and Henry observed how Neil removed the appendix from Serena's body and placed it onto the kidney tray. Claire's heart was pounding. It was a completely different feeling having a pregnant woman on the table while removing an appendix. Claire couldn't stop thinking about personal things that Serena told her during the time she was staying at the hospital. Claire knew how much Serena wanted this baby, how long they waited for this pregnancy to happen for them. She was again personally attached to her patients. She caught herself several times checking on the baby's vitals even though they had a gynecology surgeon on standby.

»How's the baby doing?« she heard Neil asking.

»Vitals are stable,« Claire said looking at the monitor.

»Good. Let's close her up.«

As Neil said those words the sound of machines went off.

»She's hemorrhaging,« Claire said loud and Clear and Neil started to look for the source of bleeding.

»Damn it. The uterus ruptured,« Neil said.

»Dr. Browne, give me a better view, dr. White, I need suction, now! And more light.«

Neil started suturing, his hands steady, his forehead furrowed, his mind completely focused but he wasn't successful, the bleeding didn't stop.

»Her hematocrit just fell to twelve percent,« Claire warned him.

»Baby's heart is slowing down. Dr. Melendez, either you stop the bleeding now or we have to do a C-section,« Neil heard dr. Wade from gynecology say.

»We need more red blood cell units,« he ordered still trying to stop the bleeding.

»Dr. Melendez, are you going to be able to stop the bleeding? Baby's heartbeat is still dropping,« dr. Wade asked already prepared to step in if needed.

»Let's get the baby out so I can stabilize the uterus,« he ordered.

»Dr. Browne, help dr. Wade,« he ordered and Claire immediately changed positions.

Dr. Wade started performing C-section. Claire stood next to dr. Wade waiting for the baby to be born to this crazy world.

Suddenly the operating room was filled with the sound of a baby crying loudly and Claire held the tiny creature in her arms with all caution and waited long enough that dr. Wade cut her umbilical cord. Dr. Wade, Neil, and Henry continued to work on Serena and the devices finally went silent as Serena's vitals stabilized. Claire checked the baby.

»Welcome to this world little girl,« she whispered and she couldn't help but smile under her mask looking at the perfect little girl in front of her.

»She has a healthy set of lungs,« she suddenly heard Neil say and looked at him seeing he and Henry are closing Serena up.

»She's perfect. A little tiny of course but healthy,« Claire said and she could see the sparks in eyes of everybody in the operating room.

Moments like this made everyone in the operating room happy. You could feel happiness and hope in the air.

Coming out of the operating room Neil took a deep breath.

»Good job you two,« Neil said to Claire and Henry.

»This was intense,« Henry said smiling feeling like someone just gave him a shot of adrenaline and Neil nodded smiling happily that everything went well.

»Let's get cleaned up. Josh is waiting for us,« he said.

Going down the hallway they saw Josh sitting on Serena's bed. Neil opened the door and all three of them entered.

»Is it over? How did it go? Are they ok?« Josh asked as he jumped up from the bed at the sound of the door opening.

»Both Serena and the baby girl are ok,« Neil said and saw how Josh visibly relaxed.

»Oh thank God. Wait … baby girl?« Josh suddenly asked.

»We had to perform C-section. You became a father to a beautiful baby girl twenty-four minutes ago,« Claire said checking the time on her watch and smiled.

»Oh my God,« Josh whispered but then started crying.

»I'm sorry. This is so overwhelming. They are really ok?« he asked again.

»They are both ok,« Neil repeated.

»When will I be able to see them?« Josh asked wiping away his happy tears.

»Serena will be taken to the ICU now to recover after the surgery so she will get a new room. She is still under anesthesia but she should wake up in about an hour but you can be next to her to wait until she wakes up. If you like you can see your daughter. I can take you to her,« Claire explained.

»Ummm, God I don't know. I would love to see her but … I don't want to go see her without Serena. I always wanted to be there for the birth so that we would see her together for the first time so I guess that now I'll wait that Serena wakes up,« Josh said.

»Ok. That's ok. I'll come and get you when Serena is going to be in her room, ok?« Claire said.

»Yes, thank you. Thank you so much. For everything,« Josh said and stepped forward to shake each of their hands.

»You have nothing to thank us for,« Neil said.

»And … again, I'm sorry that I was such an idiot on Friday,« Josh said.

»It's fine. You were worried. Every person would be worried if they were in your shoes because a situation like this is scary. But now everything is over,« Neil said and Josh nodded.

»I'll come to get you,« Claire repeated before leaving the room and Josh nodded with a smile on his face relieved his wife and daughter are ok.

»God, this is why I love my job,« Claire said when they left the room and both Henry and Neil looked at her.

»It's a good feeling, isn't it?« Neil said smiling.

»It's the best feeling,« Claire said remembering that little tiny baby screaming her lungs out as she was brought to this world.

A world that is full of hardships but also full of beautiful moments, full of possibilities. She saw that Henry went toward the resident's lounge and she stepped closer to Neil.

»I love you,« she whispered and intertwined her fingers with his.

»With what did I deserve this?« he said looking at their intertwined fingers and he was glad that Claire was getting bolder with them acting like a couple at the hospital.

»I just wanted to tell you, that's all,« she said and smiled.

»I love you too,« he said back, kissed her on the cheek, and then went toward his office.

Claire carefully looked at the nurse Flores that was behind the nurse's station. Nurse Flores stepped closer to her and smiled.

»It's about time you two let your guard down,« she said smiling at Claire and then again concentrated on the papers that she was working on.

»Yeah, I think so too,« Claire said and smiled to herself feeling happy and suddenly she realized that she doesn't worry about the rumors anymore because as long as she has Neil by her side she can get through anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. What did you like most about this chapter? Please, leave a comment with your opinion. 🤗


	28. I want kids. With him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter is full of different conversations and situations so I decided to not write a summary. Read it and find out all about it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> First, I have to say something to you, my dear readers. Especially to all of those that always leave me a comment under my chapters telling me what you like and what you think about my story. Your comments are always so nice and encouraging but there was something so special about comments last week (chapter 27). I was so overwhelmed while reading them. All of you were so satisfied with the chapter, writing how it made you laugh, how amazing it is, and so on. I just want you to know that I appreciate your comments so so much! Your comments keep me motivated and without your comments, I wouldn't have the will to write. I always say that the comments are my food and that is the truth! 😂 Moreover, knowing that I can make you laugh with my story, that I can make your Mondays easier, means so much to me. Writing this story is like therapy for me and I will forever be grateful to Nick and Antonia that made me love these two characters so much and that their chemistry gives me so much will to write this story. So really ... To all of you readers ... THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I'm so GRATEFUL FOR YOU! 💖 A thank you also goes to readers that don't leave comments. I'm not holding a grudge, don't worry. 💖😄 Thank you for following my story, for leaving your kudos. 🤗 
> 
> So, about this chapter! It has a lot of different stuff in it. I think it's an important chapter that is setting up different things for the future of this story.
> 
> I again separated different storylines with *** so that it's easier for you to follow. We have four different scenes in this chapter and I hope you are going to enjoy reading all of them.
> 
> My favourite part is definitely a scene where Claire talks to Serena. I find it very important for Claire and Neil. 💖
> 
> Enjoy the chapter and please, let me know what you think in the comment section. Comments are my motivation. 🤗😍
> 
> Sarah

**Previously on Grateful for you ...**

»God, this is why I love my job,« Claire said when they left Serena's room and both Henry and Neil looked at her.

»It's a good feeling, isn't it?« Neil said smiling.

»It's the best feeling,« Claire said remembering that little tiny baby screaming her lungs out as she was brought to this world.

A world that is full of hardships but also full of beautiful moments, full of possibilities. She saw that Henry went toward the resident's lounge and she stepped closer to Neil.

»I love you,« she whispered and intertwined his fingers with his.

»With what did I deserve this?« he said looking at their intertwined fingers and he was glad that Claire was getting bolder with them acting like a couple at the hospital.

»I just wanted to tell you, that's all,« she said and smiled.

»I love you too,« he said back, kissed her on the cheek, and then went toward his office.

Claire carefully looked at the nurse Flores that was behind the nurse's station. Nurse Flores stepped closer to her and smiled.

»It's about time you two let your guard down,« she said smiling at Claire and then again concentrated on the papers that she was working on.

»Yeah, I think so too,« Claire said and smiled to herself feeling happy and suddenly she realized that she doesn't worry about the rumors anymore because as long as she has Neil by her side she can get through anything.

***

**Monday, San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital**

Claire was in the Neonatal intensive care unit surrounded by incubators. She was sitting next to Serena's little girl thinking how fragile and innocent this little human being was. She slowly approached the baby with her hand and stroked her small palm when suddenly the little girl squeezed her index finger and Claire smiled with excitement.

»You're strong already,« she whispered.

Claire fell silent again and continued with caressing little girl.

»How does someone know how to take care of a baby like you?« she whispered thinking about Neil and his wish for children.

Claire knew for a long time already that Neil wanted children, well, that he wanted them with Jessica. They didn't talk about it yet and honestly, Claire was kind of scared of the conversation that will come up sooner or later. She knew that if there is a man in this world that she would want to have kids with, that man is definitely Neil. She did want kids but she was scared of having them. She wasn't sure if she is gonna know how to be a great mother to a child. She never had a mother that would be an example for her. What if she is going to be horrible at it? What if she won't know how to take care of her child? What if one day her child will be angry with her just as she was angry with her mother? Her mother is dead and she is still angry with her.

»You tell me, little girl. Do you think that I could be a good mother?« Claire again whispered.

»You don't know, right? Me neither,« Claire answered her own question and sighed.

The silence in the room was interrupted with the sound of Claire's pager going off. She looked at it and stood up.

»I have to go little girl. Your mom just woke up. You are going to meet her soon,« she said and went toward the ICU and she saw that Neil and Henry are already in Serena's room.

»Welcome back,« Claire said with a smile as she joined them.

»Thank you. Dr. Melendez was just telling me that I gave birth to a perfect little girl,« Serena said and smiled.

»Yes, you did. Congratulations,« Claire said.

»You see? I told you, we all did. Everything went perfectly,« Serena said to Josh squeezing his hand.

»Yes, thank God,« Josh said kissing his wife's forehead.

»When are we going to be able to see her?« Serena asked,

»She is in the incubator at the Neonatal intensive care unit. We will take you to her if you already feel up for it,« Neil said.

»Yes, I want to see her.«

»Ok. Dr. White, please go and bring a wheelchair for Serena,« Neil said and Henry quickly nodded and left the room.

»Dr. Browne will take you to see your daughter. If you need anything you can always ask for me,« Neil said and Serena nodded.

Before leaving the room Neil stopped in front of Claire.

»Dr. Andrews told me that he wants you to assist him at nasal surgery at 1 PM. Apparently, the resident that was scheduled to assist got sick and he had to send her home,« Neil said and Claire nodded.

»Nasal? I didn't see it scheduled today,« Claire said.

»The patient came in half an hour ago. Apparently, a love triangle has gone bad,« Neil said and also looked toward Josh and Serena that were listening, and shrugged his shoulders.

»Ouch,« Claire said and at that moment Henry came into the room.

»Being a doctor is never boring, is it?« Serena asked Claire as Henry helped her into the wheelchair and then Claire slowly start pushing the wheelchair taking Serena and Josh toward the NICU.

»No, it really isn't,« Claire said smiling.

»You probably hear a lot of personal stories. Like this one with the love triangle,« Serena continued the conversation and giggled at the thought that a guy needs to have nose surgery right now because of a girl.

»More than I would want actually. Some of them are really bizarre sometimes,« Claire said and smiled.

»You know Josh, it's not fair. Why didn't you break noses for me?« Serena said and Josh laughed.

»I did wreck my car for you,« Josh said and Claire looked with interest at Josh.

»Yes, and my car as well,« Serena said looking back at Josh rolling her eyes.

»Ok, you have to tell me how that happened,« Claire said curiously.

»We were working at the same company. I liked her from the first moment I saw her but didn't dare to start the conversation. Well, I didn't know what to say so I crashed into the back of her car with my car in the parking lot,« Josh said and Serena shook her head.

»On purpose?« Claire asked laughing in disbelief.

»Yes. That afternoon I got to talk to her for the first time,« Josh said proudly.

»You were such an idiot,« Serena said and laughed.

»Well, I guess you didn't mind me being an idiot since you said yes to a coffee,« Josh said.

»Well, this is definitely a story that you will be able to tell your daughter,« Claire said smiling stopping in front of the room where their daughter was.

»Ready to meet your bundle of joy?« Claire said and both of them nodded in excitement.

She took them toward the incubator.

»You can touch her if you want,« Claire said and stepped a few steps away to give them some privacy.

She saw how they both started crying while they squeezed each other's hands and Claire couldn't help a happy tear rolling down her cheek. She was truly happy that everything went well and that his family in front of her was finally happy and without a cloud of worry over them. They were gently caressing their baby girl as Claire did before and she saw how little girl kicked with her legs. She didn't do that before with her. It's like she knew that now her parents are there next to her and she wanted them to know she's excited to meet them too.

»My mom called me before. She wants to come to the hospital but her car broke down yesterday. I was thinking that I would go get her,« Claire heard Josh say.

»Yes, go. She's crazy excited. You can also bring me my favourite pajamas and another book,« Serena said and nodded.

»Ok. Are you going to stay here for a while longer?« Josh asked her.

»Is that ok?« Serena asked looking at Claire.

»Of course. We can stay longer but then you need to go back to rest,« Claire said and Serena nodded.

As the nurse escorted Josh from the NICU Claire stepped closer to Serena. She observed the perfect baby girl in the incubator.

»Did you already pick the name for her?«

»Yes, Angela,« Serena said smiling.

»Angela. Beautiful name,« Claire said.

»Do you have kids?« she heard Serena asking her and Claire didn't answer immediately a little bit surprised at the question even though in the days she was one of Serena's doctors she got used to Serena being of a curious nature.

»I'm sorry. It's not of my business. My tongue sometimes doesn't work together with my mind. Well, it usually doesn't,« Serena said and Claire smiled.

»Don't worry. It's just that no one asked me this question until now. No, I don't have kids,« Claire answered.

»It looks like you want to have them,« Serena said looking up at her from the wheelchair.

»Why do you say that?« Claire asked surprised.

»The way you look at Angela.«

»How do I look at her?«

»With admiration, love.«

Claire looked at Serena and then at Angela thinking about Serena's words.

»How does anyone look at the baby if not with love and admiration?« Claire asked shrugging her shoulders.

»Oh, believe me. You should see how my sister looks at babies. Like they are just a factory of poop, little monsters that drive you crazy with annoying loud screaming. She said she never wants to have kids. I tell you, I won't trust her with my baby girl. My sister's golden retriever would do a better job at babysitting a baby than her,« Serena said laughing.

»I'm sure she will like the poop and loud screaming of her niece,« Claire said smiling at then again looked at Angela.

»You are looking at her like she's yours,« Serena suddenly said and Claire sighed thinking if one day she will have a baby with Neil.

»Well, you know … I was one of the first people that held her,« Claire said with a soft smile on her face and Serena smiled back at her.

There was again silence between them and both of them looked at the little girl in front of them.

»I'm scared to not know how to be a mother, a good mother,« Claire suddenly broke the silence and was surprised that she actually said that out loud.

Serena looked at her.

»Do you think that I'm not scared? I have my own daughter in front of me and I have no idea how I will handle everything when I go home with her. It's supposed to be scary I guess. After all, you are taking care of another human being.«

»It's just … it's a long story why I'm afraid of being a mother …« Claire said and Serena nodded.

»Well, whatever your story is … I'm sure you are going to be a great mom. You are caring, you know how to deal with people, you know or at least you are trying to imagine what kind of a mother you want to be so you will always have that picture in your mind. All of these things are your advantages. You're going to be just fine.«

»You make it sound so simple,« Claire said and sighed.

»I just feel it. You are going to be a great mom. Plus, it seems you have a great relationship with your boyfriend too, so … that will help as well,« Serena said and Claire looked at her confused.

»What?« Serena asked when she saw Claire's surprised expression.

»How do you know?« Claire asked confused but also curious.

»About you and dr. Melendez?« Serena said smiling.

»Yes. Are we really that terrible at being professional in front of our patients?«

»Noo, not at all, don't worry. You two are just fine. It's just … You were standing at the nurse's station this morning before my surgery. The station is directly in front of my room and I overheard you talking about the gala here in the hospital that is on Saturday. I noticed how excited you both are about it and by the way you two looked at each other, how you act toward one another it's impossible not to notice you are head over heels in love,« Serena explained and Claire just smiled at her.

»Yes, we are,« Claire admitted and blushed.

»How long are you two together if I may ask?« Serena said while she caressed her daughter's palm.

»Well, we know each other for quite some time. Four years actually but we are together just a little bit over a year.«

»You know each other for four years? What took you so long to get together?« Serena asked and Claire actually didn't mind the questions because she was never really able to talk about Neil and their relationship with anyone and this felt nice, normal.

»Well, he was my mentor, my boss when I started working here as a first-year resident. He still is but … well, it's a little bit different now I guess. We made it different when we said that we won't think about what other people think about us dating. It's a long story when it comes to us finding our way toward each other,« Claire said and Serena nodded.

»So it wasn't love at first sight,« Serena teased smiling.

»No, it wasn't. Well, most women do fall in love with him at first sight,« Claire said rolling her eyes and Serena laughed.

»Well, he is a good looking guy,« Serena said.

»Mhm.«

»You said most women. You didn't think he's a good looking guy when you saw him the first time?« Serena asked grinning.

»I … umm … I don't know,« Claire said and Serena laughed.

»Why are you laughing? I wasn't supposed to think about him like that. He was my boss.«

»As far as I know he still is and that doesn't hold you back anymore.«

»Well, I fell in love with him. We can't choose who we fall in love with and even if we could, no matter the problems we went through I would choose him over anyone every time.«

»With what I saw today, how he acted today with you I bet he would say the exact same thing about you,« Serena said.

»Oh, he better,« Claire said and Serena laughed again.

»Why do I have the feeling that you are the boss in the relationship?« Serena said and Claire laughed.

»Because I am,« Claire said confidently making Serena laugh again but then got serious again looking at little Angela.

»Why the long face suddenly?« Serena asked.

»Can I tell you something? It's personal. Well, maybe it's personal just for me because I am struggling with saying this. It's probably going to be completely normal for you that are so positive about everything,« Claire said and Serena looked at her with confusion not knowing what to expect a surgeon in front of her will tell her.

»Shoot it,« Serena encouraged her.

»I want kids. With him. Until him I … I was never sure if I want kids. I was convinced that I won't have them, that my career will get in the way but now … I want everything. A career, him and … kids. But I'm so scared. On Friday we were talking about your case when we got home and I was just waiting when he is going to start the conversation about kids. I was actually sweating because of it.«

»Why is the reason for your fear?«

»My mother. She was … well, we shouldn't speak ill of the dead but … I have more bad memories about her than good. She tried to get better but … it was too late. God, why am I telling you all of this?« Claire said shaking her head.

»It's ok. Sometimes is easier to talk with someone that is practically a stranger. I'm sorry about losing your mother. But if your mother didn't know how to be a good parent to you that doesn't mean you won't be a good mother. I think that you are going to be an amazing mother because you will always want to be the complete opposite of who your mother was,« Serena said.

»Maybe,« Claire whispered.

»Does he want kids?« Serena asked looking at her daughter and Claire sighed.

»Yes, he does. I mean … we didn't talk about it yet, about us having kids but I know from before we were together that he wants them,« Claire explained.

»Well, I guess that when the right time comes everything will work out just as it has to for the both of you. As long as you both are on the same page, knowing you both want something, it's just a matter of time so that it comes true and when it does you will handle it together,« Serena said.

They again fell silent and Claire thought if she should say what was at the tip of her tongue.

»It kind of calms me down when I think about him being the father of my children. I know that even if I am going to be a lousy mother, at least they will have a great dad,« Claire finally expressed her thoughts.

»You are not going to be a lousy mother. Don't think like that,« Serena scolded her a little bit but then gave her a gentle smile.

»I will try my best,« Claire whispered.

»And I fully support you by the way,« Serena suddenly said.

»With what?«

»With you thinking about dr. Melendez as the father of your children. Imagine having a son with him … you would have one more good looking guy next to you. I'm jealous,« Serena said and Claire laughed at her words.

»But please, don't tell my husband that I said that,« Serena seriously added but Claire could see the mischievous spark in her eyes.

»Don't worry. My lips are sealed,« Claire said with a smile on her face.

***

**Monday, Melendaire home, 6.45 PM**

»What is this emergency you called me for?« Morgan asked Claire when she came to her apartment.

»Perfect timing. Neil just went on a drink with Audrey five minutes ago. Come in,« Claire said.

»Drink with Audrey? Why? They aren't really close like they used to be.«

»I don't know. She invited him.«

»Doesn't it bother you?« Morgan asked putting her bag down on the couch.

»Why would it bother me?«

»She's his ex.«

»Well, you know what they say. Exes are exes for a reason. I don't mind if they stay friends. They know each other since college,« Claire said and Morgan nodded.

»Yeah. God, you are really the most understanding and calm person.«

»Morgan, Audrey is not my competition.«

»Whoa, you're really confident. I admire that. I'm more of a jealous kind of girl.«

»You are?«

»Yeah, a little bit,« Morgan admitted.

»Well, I'm not jealous of Audrey. I don't know how I would react if a woman that I don't know would show interest in Neil.«

»You would scratch her eyes out,« Morgan said and Claire laughed.

»So, why so urgent to meet with me?«

»Listen, Neil's birthday is coming up next week. I want to throw him a surprise birthday party. I need help,« Claire said and Morgan smiled.

»You want my help?« Morgan said excitedly.

»Yes. I need your cooking skills,« Claire said smiling while she poured a glass of wine to each of them.

»I see. What did you have in mind?«

»It will be a small party right here at the apartment. I was thinking dinner, cake, a little bit of music, maybe dancing. Just hanging out I guess. Do you think it's too boring?« Claire said worriedly.

»No. It's perfect. I think he will love it.«

»I'm planning to invite his parents and bring Gabby. That is also why I want to make it here and not at some restaurant you know. I think it's going to be more cozy,« Claire said.

»So, I am gonna be in charge of the kitchen?« Morgan said clapping her hands.

»Yes. If you're up for it. I'm giving you free hands with the menu.«

»What about the cake?«

»I will order his favourite cake. You don't have to deal with the cake.«

»Ok. When is it gonna be?«

»I don't know yet. His birthday is on Friday next week. I'll see if I can get Audrey to change my and your shift so that we can prepare everything. She will also have to distract him for the afternoon. I'm counting on her help. I still don't know exactly how I will pull it off so that he doesn't find about it but it's still time. I'll figure it out. Tomorrow I also have to call his parents,« Claire said and Morgan nodded.

»I think that Audrey will found some excuse to keep him busy. He's probably going to be a little annoyed that he will have to be away from you on his birthday but the party will make everything better in the end,« Morgan said smiling.

»Hmm, he probably won't be annoyed too much. He never really celebrated his birthdays, remember? Every time we sang happy birthday to him at the hospital he acted like we are torturing him,« Claire said and smiled at the memories.

»I bet he wants to celebrate now when he's with you.«

»I think he will like a small party,« Claire said and she had to admit that she was very excited to organize the party for him.

»Well, we have enough time to plan it. I'm all in,« Morgan said and took a sip of wine that Claire poured for her.

»Ok, Reznick. Now. Tell me everything. What is going on with you and White?« Claire said smiling and Morgan smiled back.

»We were on two dates. He took me to this restaurant. We have to go there together one day. The food is soooo good. You'll love it. And we went for lunch after shift the next day.«

»Did you kiss?«

»Noo. Hold your horses, Browne. But we did hug.«

»Ok. A hug. That's nice,« Claire said.

»It's very nice,« Morgan said smiling.

»How do those muscles feel?« Claire teased her.

»Strong and firm,« Morgan said and they both laughed.

»He asked me to go to the gala with him so I'm looking forward to that,« Morgan said.

»I'm happy for you. It shows that he really likes you and you two look great together,« Claire said and Morgan nodded.

There was silence between them and Claire saw how Morgan's mood changed.

»I need to tell you something. It will ruin this cozy vibe right now but … I think I have to tell you,« Morgan said knowing Claire would be angry if she won't trust her with this, and honestly, she needed to talk about this.

»What is it?« Claire asked concerned.

»The serial killer thing. It's not over. After you and Neil left yesterday I got a note from him saying it's not over,« Morgan admitted and Claire took a deep breath.

»Oh, God. Did you call Marco?«

»Of course I did. They are following new leads but well. All we can do is wait.«

»What can I do? Tell me what to do to help you?« Claire said not knowing at all how she should handle this situation.

»You can't help me, Claire. The police can't really help me right now, so … I guess I'll have to wait and just live my life as Marco said. How crazy's that, hm? Live my life. Like nothing's happening. I just wanted to tell you because I know you would be angry if you found out that I didn't,« Morgan said.

»Morgan, it's gonna be ok. They will catch him. They have too. Listen, if you don't want to help me with the party if you don't feel up for it…«

»I want to help. I need to distract myself. I will work, I will go to the gala and I will help you with the party. If I get killed along the way, well … so be it,« Morgan said.

»That won't happen. Stop thinking like that,« Claire said and took Morgan's hand in hers.

»By the way, did you go to your therapy session today?« Claire asked.

»Yes.«

»And? What do you think about it?«

»It was good actually. Talking helps and it's easier to talk with someone that doesn't know you and doesn't judge. The therapist is great. She's nice.«

»Good. I'm glad you find it helpful.«

»I have to go now,« Morgan said.

»Already?«

»Yes. Henry is actually at my apartment. He knows everything and now he said he doesn't want to leave me alone. I told him he can stay because well, I feel better if there is someone else in the apartment. Especially after what happened yesterday.«

»Ok, I feel better too knowing you're not alone.«

»Do you know that he's studying all the time? My kitchen turned into his study today. He's really pushing himself,« Morgan said.

»Well, it shows. He was amazing today with Serena's surgery. He was good through the whole process,« Claire said approvingly.

»He better be. If I'm dating a first-year resident he at least has to be a talented one,« Morgan smirked.

»He is. Don't worry. He's a very talented and hard-working baby resident,« Claire said and Morgan laughed.

»Yeah. He reminds me of me,« Morgan said smiling.

»Well, say hi to him for me and … call me if you need anything.«

»I will,« Morgan said and went toward the entrance.

»It's going to be fine,« Claire said looking at Morgan.

»I hope so.«

»Thank you for telling me,« Claire suddenly said and Morgan nodded with a smile and then left to go home where Henry was waiting for her.

***

**Monday, Paper Plane Bar, 7.06 PM**

»Look at you. New leather suit?« Neil asked when Audrey got off from her Ducati.

»Yes. By the way, I'm selling this beauty tomorrow. I'm switching it for a newer stronger model. Want a ride around the building to say goodbye to your favourite vehicle?« Audrey teased knowing Neil isn't a fan of motorcycle rides.

»Thank you for the offer but I'll pass. I won't cheat on my Tesla,« he said and Audrey laughed.

Audrey and Neil sat down at the table and, as always, ordered their favourite drink. When the waiter brought and placed their order on the table Neil took the glass in his hand and drank a sip of his favourite whiskey. Audrey pulled her purse toward her and opened it taking out the envelope that Neil recognized.

»Here it is,« Audrey said and put the envelope with Claire's name on it on the table.

Neil slowly pulled the envelope toward him and took it into his hands looking at Claire's name written with his handwriting and he swallowed hard at the memory when he wrote it thinking he is going to die.

»It's closed,« Neil said.

»Of course it's closed. Did you think that I will open it?« Audrey said surprised.

»No … no. It's just strange that it's closed. It … I mean, it was meant to be open you know. Don't listen to me. I'm blabbing. This envelope being closed is a good thing. It means I'm alive.« Neil said and Audrey nodded.

»I won't lie to you. I am curious about what you wrote to her,« Audrey said taking a sip of whiskey herself.

»Why?«

»Well, I'm just thinking … you, we all were convinced we will lose you. What does a person who is convinced will die writes in a goodbye letter to a loved one knowing there won't be a chance to … you know … I just, I don't know what I would write on my death bed,« Audrey said and Neil sighed.

»Believe me, you would know what to write,« Neil said knowing how many things he wanted to say to Claire back then.

He could write a book, not just a letter.

»Tell me something. What are you planning to do with it? Save it? Destroy it?« Audrey asked.

»I don't know. I have no idea what to do with it,« Neil said still holding the letter looking at it.

»Are you planning to show it to Claire?«

»She will kill me,« Neil said and Audrey smiled.

»You were very courageous back then saying she won't be angry for long with you for telling her you love her through a letter and not in person. Not so bold anymore now, hm?« Audrey teased him and Neil smiled.

»Honestly, I have no idea how she will react if she reads this letter. Maybe she will be mad, maybe she will cry … I don't know. I don't know if I want to show it to her. I mean, this letter doesn't matter anymore, right? I'm alive, we're together …« Neil said thinking.

»I don't know. If it doesn't matter then why it's such a hard decision for you about what to do with it? If it doesn't matter you can just destroy it and be done with it,« Audrey said and Neil thought about her words.

»I think you want to show Claire this letter but you don't feel like it's the right time,« Audrey said.

»Maybe. I guess I will save it for now,« Neil said putting the letter in the inner pocket of his suit jacket.

»How are things with Claire?« Audrey asked.

»Good.«

»Good. Just good? Seriously? That is all you are going to say?« Audrey said and Neil could feel that she was annoyed and maybe also disappointed?

He didn't know what the expression on her face meant.

»What? What do you want me to say?« he asked.

»Maybe you could answer me with more than just one word,« Audrey said.

»Oh c'mon. Do you really want to talk about my relationship? Isn't it weird?« Neil said.

»Weird? Why? Because I'm your ex? You think because our relationship didn't work that I don't want to see you happy with someone else?«

»Our relationship could work if you wanted it to work,« Neil snapped and immediately regretted the words that came out of his mouth.

Audrey looked at him confused not knowing what to think.

»You are snapping at me like this for months now. This, your annoyance with me isn't about our relationship that didn't work. It's not about our failed relationship at all. You love Claire. You love her more than you ever loved me. That's clear as a day. You never looked at me the way you look at her. You being like this toward me is about something else. What is it?« Audrey said but Neil stayed quiet looking at his glass.

»What is it, Neil? Spit it out. Why are you so annoyed with me? Why do you object to almost every single thing I decide when it comes to surgeries? Why are you always provoking me?«

»Is this why you invited me here? To corner me?« Neil said.

»So you feel I cornered you? Why? Why are you feeling so uncomfortable next to me?« Audrey asked.

»I don't want to talk about it,« Neil said taking another sip of his whiskey.

»Why not? Whatever it is, just tell me so that I will know what I did wrong,« Audrey said and Neil was getting more and more nervous and irritated with her pushing.

»Why are you shutting me out? Just tell me so I can fix it. I can fix…«

»You can't fix it, ok?! You can't. And our failed relationship is the reason that I'm angry. You know why? Because I gave up on one thing that I always wanted. I gave it up for you. For a failed relationship with you,« Neil said in one breath and Audrey went silent looking confused not knowing what Neil was talking about.

»I … I don't understand …« she uttered.

»You don't understand? Back when they were choosing the new Chief of Surgery … How do you think I knew that Andrews's assistant will call you to tell you you got the job?« Neil asked and Audrey was completely taken aback by how quickly this conversation escalated to something she didn't see coming.

»I … I didn't think about it.«

»Of course you didn't. You got the job that you always wanted. That was the only thing that mattered. Do you know how I knew? Because Andrews offered me the position first,« Neil said, and when he saw how Audrey's face dropped like if someone would pour a bucket of cold water on her he regretted how he let things play out but he was holding this anger in him for too long and now it just burst out of him.

»What?« she whispered.

»He offered me the position and I turned it down. I told him to give the position to you.«

»Why?«

»Because I thought that it's going to make you happy. That we will finally stop fighting over the job, that we will stop competing, and that we will start focusing on our relationship but well … I didn't know that my move will blow into my face a few weeks later.«

»A few weeks later?« Audrey asked getting more and more confused.

»You dumped me. You left me alone. I ended up alone without you and without the job I always wanted and almost had.«

»I didn't ask you to give up on the job for me,« Audrey said and Neil smiled at her remark.

»No, you didn't.«

»What do you want me to say? I didn't know that they offered you first and if I knew I woul…«

»What would you do, hm? If you knew and I would say that I am giving the position to you, would you object?« Neil challenged her.

»For Christ's sake Neil …«

»Would you object and say that you don't want it? Would you reject my offer and say that I should keep the position?« Neil asked her again but Audrey stayed silent and the silence was louder than any answer she would give him.

»It was your decision. Why are you holding it against me now?«

Neil knew that Audrey was right about what she said. It was his decision. But that didn't help him with his anger.

»Don't do any favors for someone that doesn't ask for them, right? I just wanted you to be happy, I wanted us to be happy. That's it,« Neil said putting money on the table to pay for their drinks, and then got up leaving the bar while Audrey was still sitting motionless her thoughts all around the place.

She knew that their breakup was harder on him than it was on her but now she knew that him being hurt wasn't just about losing her. She knew how much her job meant to her and she knew that Neil's wish to become Chief of Surgery was just as big as hers back then. Even though it was his decision she knew it was eating him inside. She would feel the same if she was in his shoes. She did understand him but she didn't appreciate how he just dropped this on her like a bomb. After her shock subsided she stormed out of the bar after him and saw him how he just opened the car door. She quickly stepped toward him.

»Listen. I did love you. I truly did and I'm sorry it wasn't enough for me. I'm sorry you loved me more. I'm sorry I wanted more than our relationship could give me. I'm sorry that you gave up on your dream job for someone that wasn't worth it.«

»It is what it is,« Neil said.

»That all you are going to say? It is what it is? You arrogant ass. Why weren't you arrogant back then? Why didn't you grab the opportunity when you had it? Giving up on the position of Chief of Surgery was a stupid decision on your part,« Audrey said and Neil smiled.

»No, it wasn't stupid. It was selfless,« Neil said remembering Claire's words from the evening when he told her about his regret and his choice for giving up the position.

»Selfless? Did Claire say that? This is her talking through you, isn't it?« Audrey said and Neil didn't like the mocking tone with which Audrey said it.

»It was selfless, ok? At one of the most important moments of my life when I would have to put myself first like I always used to do, I didn't. I put my wishes aside to make you happy. But as I said, it is what it is. If I knew back then that you will dump me, I wouldn't give up the position but well, I didn't know. So ...« Neil said.

»You not becoming Chief of Surgery at the time was the best thing that ever happened to you. If you were Chief you would probably never find your way toward Claire and…«

»Don't. Just don't try to make up scenarios why this way is better and don't bring Claire into this. Just don't,« Neil stopped her.

»I can see that you're hurting. You lost the job and me. Everything was too much to endure back then. I get it. You regret giving the position up. I can't help you with that. But ... as a partner, I would never be able to give you what you want. Marriage, kids … the whole perfect family life you crave for. I would never give it to you. Claire will. Me dumping you was the best thing that ever happened to you,« Audrey said half sad and half angry.

»Yes, it was,« Neil simply said and Audrey nodded taking a deep breath and looked down to the sidewalk her hands on her hips.

»What now?« she asked looking at him.

»I don't know.«

»Do you want me to resign from the position of Chief of Surgery?« Audrey asked.

»What? No! I didn't tell you this because I would want you to resign. I … I'm just angry I guess, ok? I'm not even angry with you, I'm angry with myself. As you said, it was my decision. I know that. I shouldn't hold it against you. This regret has been eating me up. I was holding this feeling of regret in for months and there are so many other things I went through in this last year and … I'm sorry that I was annoying. I'm sorry that I made your job difficult,« Neil said feeling tired and he started to get into the car.

»Neil?« Audrey said softly.

»What?« he said back and Audrey could see he's tired.

She stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Neil hesitated for a moment but then hugged her back. They stood there on the sidewalk like this for a few seconds when Audrey let go of him but kept her hands on his upper arms.

»Thank you. Thank you for trying to make me happy. Thank you for giving me the biggest gift by giving up the position to me. No one has ever done anything like this for me. I don't want you to resent me. I really don't,« Audrey said.

»I don't resent you Audrey and I'm sorry for the way I told you this. I …«

»It's fine. You were hurting for a long time because of the whole situation. It's fine. Sometimes to process things we just have to explode and let it all out. I just hope that we can be friends again. We know each other for way too long that we would just throw everything good away. And there is a lot of good things about us,« Audrey said and Neil smiled.

»Yeah, I agree.«

»So, clean slate?« Audrey asked carefully.

»Clean slate. See you tomorrow?« Neil said.

»Yes. Good night Neil.«

»Good night Audrey,« Neil said and drove himself home.

Coming home he went into the living room where Claire was watching television.

»Baby, you're already home?« she asked looking at him over the backrest of the couch.

»Yes,« Neil said and laid down on the couch with his head in Claire's lap looking toward the television which sound was now muted by Claire.

She slowly started to stroke his hair and Neil closed his eyes in comfort.

»I told her,« he said quietly and Claire's hand stopped for a second but then continued caressing him.

»About giving up the position for her?« she asked carefully.

»Mhm.«

»How did it go?«

»Horrible at first. I wasn't really subtle or gentle about it. Anger got the best of me. I said some things then she of course fought me back but … I think we worked it out in the end. I think we're going to be fine. I hope,« he said and Claire leaned down kissing his temple.

»I'm proud of you.«

»You shouldn't be. I was an ass to her.«

»She's used to it, we all are,« Claire said teasingly and Neil smiled at her remark.

»You were right,« Neil said.

»About what?«

»While we were having our sex marathon you said that you are the best thing that ever happened to me,« Neil said and Claire smiled.

»It was just an arrogant remark, me being an overconfident sex goddess,« Claire said and Neil smiled with his boyish smile turning to his back, looked at her his head still in her lap.

»No, it's true. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.«

»And you are the best thing that happened to me,« Claire said and continued stroking his hair in comfort enjoying the feeling of his hair between her fingers.

***

**Monday, Matthew's apartment, 8.36 PM**

Matthew opened the door of his apartment seeing Jane standing in front of them. She was like a puppy. Coming back without even being called just wiggling her tail excited to play and do what he wants.

»This is a nice surprise,« he said and let her in.

»Do you mind me coming here? I can leave if you want,« Jane said.

»No. It's ok,« Matthew said as they went to the kitchen.

»You seem upset.«

»I worked with her today. In the ER. I can't. I can't stand her.«

»That blonde chick you told me about?« Matthew asked his interest peaked.

»I was stitching a patient and she was telling me how I have to practice to improve my stitching,« Jane said irritated and poured herself a glass of wine.

»All smart with that ponytail of hers high on her head. I just want to grab it and drag her around the hospital by it. She thinks she's so much better than me. She was all arrogant around me saying that I should learn to stitch perfectly the first day I stepped into the hospital,« Jane continued with her banter.

»Well, do you think that you did a great job with stitching?«

»Yes.«

»Then you have to stand up for yourself,« Matthew said stepping closer trying to sow the seed of rebellion into her.

»What do you mean?«

»Just because she's older and more experienced than you doesn't mean that she should be arrogant. Who will stick up for you if not yourself?«

»You think that I should talk to someone superior about it?« Jane asked thinking it would be great if someone stepped on Reznic's tail.

Maybe then she would concentrate on her career and forget about Henry. Not that Jane thought Henry will get back with her but if she can't have him why would she let another woman have him?

»I don't know. It's your choice. I'm just saying that you shouldn't just complain. Do something about it,« Matthew said and he was interested in what Jane will do.

Messing with Morgan's career was something that was in his plan all along and this is maybe a perfect way how to start.

»I'll see,« Jane said all bitter her mind already thinking what to do.

»You want to stay the night?« Matthew asked her with a low voice while his hand slid to the nape of her neck pulling her closer to him.

»Yes,« Jane uttered.

»Good,« Matthew whispered and Jane suddenly found herself on the kitchen counter with his lips on hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! What do you think about the chapter? Please let me know by leaving a comment. 💖🤗


	29. I'm so proud of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire visits dr. Malkin with the idea that maybe she's ready to stop therapy. Does dr. Malkin agree? Morgan has to deal with a complaint that is filed against her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> I hope that this chapter is going to be interesting for you. I again included quite a lot of different conversations and situations. 
> 
> You are going to be able to get a glimpse of Claire at a therapy session with dr. Malkin. I hope that the conversation between them is going to be convincing since I'm not a therapist. I think that the Melendaire moment after the therapy is also quite special. 💖
> 
> This chapter is also important for Morgan aaaaaand even though she will deal with a complaint against her (you probably already have an idea who filed the complaint) Reznite will finally start happening. I love building a second couple in this story and I hope you will like them as much as I do. Morgan deserves love. 💖😊
> 
> Thank you so much for reading my story! 🤗
> 
> Please, let me know what you think of the chapter in the comment section.
> 
> By the way … just one more chapter next week and then a time jump is coming that will take you to the gala night. 😍
> 
> Sarah

**Previously on Grateful for you ...**

**Monday evening, Matthew's apartment**

»Well, do you think that you did a great job with stitching?« Matthew asked Jane.

»Yes.«

»Then you have to stand up for yourself,« Matthew said stepping closer trying to sow the seed of rebellion into her.

»What do you mean?«

»Just because she's older and more experienced than you doesn't mean that she should be arrogant. Who will stick up for you if not yourself?«

»You think that I should talk to someone superior about it?« Jane asked thinking it would be great if someone stepped on Reznic's tail.

Maybe then she would concentrate on her career and forget about Henry. Not that Jane thought Henry will get back with her but if she can't have him why would she let another woman have him?

»I don't know. It's your choice. I'm just saying that you shouldn't just complain. Do something about it,« Matthew said and he was interested in what Jane will do.

Messing with Morgan's career was something that was in his plan all along and this is maybe a perfect way how to start.

»I'll see,« Jane said all bitter her mind already thinking what to do.

»You want to stay the night?« Matthew asked her with a low voice while his hand slid to the nape of her neck pulling her closer to him.

»Yes,« Jane uttered.

»Good,« Matthew whispered and Jane suddenly found herself on the kitchen counter with his lips on hers.

***

**Tuesday, dr. Malkin office, 6.00 AM**

»How did you feel when you told him he's the first man you fell in love with?« Claire's therapist, dr. Malkin asked Claire looking at her calmly.

»Honestly, I feel like it isn't even a big deal. It felt natural to me that I said that to him. I didn't plan it. I just said it not even realizing it until I heard the words. He was the one who made a big deal out of it,« Claire said and smiled.

»Why do you think it felt natural? You had trouble expressing your feelings in the past. You said that a year ago you would never say something like this even if you would want to say it because you would be afraid to get hurt. What do you think changed?«

Claire took a deep breath.

»I don't know.«

»You do know. Try to put your feelings into words,« dr. Malkin encouraged her but Claire stayed quiet.

»How do you feel next to him?« dr. Malkin again tried to help.

»Safe. Loved. I feel that I can rely on him. I trust him. Neil, he … he's the only constant that I have in my life. I have never had anyone that would stay. My mother tried to fix things, be next to me but failed miserably in the end, my encounters with men in the past … well, I'm not proud of them. I never had a lot of friends. If I think about it, Kayla was the only constant in my life before Neil.«

»What about the physical intimacy between you two?« dr. Malkin asked.

»Sex is great. Excellent actually,« she said awkwardly and thought how dr. Malkin can be so comfortable like she asked her about the weather.

»Do you still feel uncomfortable talking about intimacy?« dr. Malkin asked and Claire rolled her eyes smiling.

»Aren't all people uncomfortable talking about sex?«

»No.«

»Oh … well, yes. It's uncomfortable talking about it with you.«

»With him as well?« dr. Malkin asked.

»No. We talk a lot about everything now. Sex included,« Claire said and looked away.

»That's good. So it's safe to say that you are not struggling with intimacy as you did in the past?«

»I'm not struggling anymore. He … he's really caring and attentive and I don't mean just when it comes to physical stuff. I really feel that I can trust him and I guess that is the reason that I'm not struggling anymore when it comes to telling him how I feel. I can really talk about anything with him. I have a feeling that no matter what I say or do … he will never judge me.«

»I'm glad to hear this,« dr. Malkin said with a soft smile on her lips.

»You know, that's why I think that maybe it's time I stop therapy. I'm doing great now. As a surgeon, as a girlfriend. I'm in a good place. I and Neil are in a good place,« Claire said and she couldn't see any reaction on dr. Malkin's face that could tell her what she thinks about her stopping with therapy sessions.

»You are saying that you are in a good place. Ok. You are saying you can talk about anything with him, right?«

»Yes,« Claire said confidently.

»What did we talk about approximately two months ago? Do you remember?« dr. Malkin asked her and Claire looked at her confused, trying to remember and when she did she took a deep breath.

»Did you talk about that with him?« dr. Malkin said and Claire immediately knew where she is leading the conversation and what point she is trying to prove.

She was on so many therapy sessions that she herself could be a therapist.

»No. I didn't talk about kids with him,« Claire admitted.

»But you said that you can talk about anything with him. So why do you think that this conversation didn't happen yet?«

»I'm not ready yet and I know he is. I'm afraid that once we start to talk about it that he will … that he will start pushing.«

»Pushing toward you two having kids?«

»Yes.«

»Do you think that's a bad thing? You two having kids.«

»No. I want kids with him. Just not yet.«

»You think he wouldn't wait for you to be ready?«

Claire's heart skipped a beat at this question.

»You think that he could leave me for not wanting kids yet?« Claire made a question this time.

»Is that your fear? That he would leave you for not wanting kids at this point in your life?«

»Why do you always answer with a question?« Claire said shaking her head.

»Is that your fear?« dr. Malkin asked again.

»Of course I'm afraid of that,« Claire said a little upset.

»You said that you are ready to talk about anything with him,« dr. Malkin said and Claire was getting annoyed because she told her this countless times already so why is she again bringing it up.

»Yes. I said that.«

»Do you mean it?«

»Yes!«

»But you can't have a conversation with him about you two having a family,« dr. Malkin said and Claire leaned back into the couch in defeat.

»No,« she admitted.

»I think you should continue with therapy,« dr. Malkin said and Claire sighed and suddenly she heard her phone ringing.

»I'm sorry. It's the hospital. I have to go,« Claire said and started grabbing her things.

»See you on Thursday?« dr. Malkin asked wanting to know if she will continue with therapy.

»I'll let you know,« Claire asked not sure if she wants to still visit these therapy sessions.

She is tired of therapy. It helped her, it really did but she was curious how she would function without it.

**Tuesday, San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital, On-call room, 7.14 AM**

»Claire?« Neil said opening the door of the on-call room.

»Finally. What took you so long?« Claire said pulling him toward her by his hand stepping on her toes her lips finding his.

»Whoa, babe? So eager …« he said smiling between kisses she was giving him.

»Mmm, love, I'm not complaining about you being all over me but I … I have surgery in half an hour and I need to talk to Audrey before it, and…«

»Ugh, seriously? No time for a quickie?« Claire asked him stepping away from him taking a deep breath.

»Sorry babe. I'm going to make it up to you. I promise,« he said winking at her.

»I know you will. Go now. Go. Patients come first. Your horny girlfriend can wait,« she said teasingly smiling at him.

»God, how I would love a quickie right now,« Neil said looking at her.

»Melendez, go. Go before I lock the door and swallow the key so that we aren't going to be able to go anywhere,« Claire said and Neil laughed but then got serious starting to move toward her and she started to slowly move back smiling at him thinking what he's gonna do.

Claire felt how she hit the wall behind her.

»What?« Claire asked him when he was looking at her with an intense gaze.

»Why are you looking at me like I will get my quickie?« she asked smiling.

»Swallowing keys? Not a good idea,« he said putting his hands in his pockets taking that arrogant overly confident stance of his just an inch away from her looking down at her and Claire immediately knew where his mind is at, and she smiled blushing.

God, she needs to figure out how to stop blushing every time he's so … dominant. When she is in control she doesn't have any insecurities but when he's in control, his hot gaze on her she feels vulnerable, in a good way but still, vulnerable.

His arm reached out toward her, wrapped itself around her waist pulling her closer to him and her hands found their place on his chest.

»Agree … probably not a good idea,« she uttered relaxed in his arms.

»No, definitely not a good idea. But I do have an idea of what you can swallow,« he said with a deep voice leaning down to her ear and when he looked at her Claire got lost in his burning stare shaking her head at him a smile forming on her lips.

Hot bastard. He was again in his dirty mode just like he was last week before he took her in the on-call room.

»I see. Well, I would gladly give my hot boss a blowjob but he's very busy today and doesn't have the time, so …« she said and Neil smiled at her leaning down to kiss her.

»I love you woman,« he said with a big grin loving every single moment of them flirting.

»You know, we are talking and standing here for five minutes already. Why didn't I get my quickie? We would be done by now. Almost.«

Neil laughed at her.

»What's wrong with you lately?« he asked.

»Why?«

»You are so horny.«

»I don't know. You're just so damn attractive in this medical coat and ... I'm crazy about you,« Claire said but suddenly got serious playing with his buttons on his medical coat.

»Why do I have a feeling that you didn't call me here for a quickie?« Neil asked her observing her serious face knowing it wouldn't be the first time she flirted with him before she actually started talking about something important.

It was like she used flirting to relax before an important conversation.

»Damn, is there anything I can hide from you?« Claire said smiling.

»I see right through you. Talk to me. What's on your mind?« he asked gently.

»I had an early therapy session with dr. Malkin today. She actually asked me how our intimacy is going,« Claire admitted to him and Neil raised an eyebrow at her.

»Is it weird that I'm telling you this?« Claire asked him seeing Neil's surprised expression.

»No, it's not. I just … I didn't know that you talk about our sex life with her but … I mean it's logical. You talk about our relationship and sex is part of it and you did struggle with it in the past.«

»Well, I was telling her that I'm trying to be more open with you as she advised me. I … umm…«

Claire stopped not knowing how to continue, how much to tell him. She wanted to share some thoughts from her therapy session with him but she felt exposed and vulnerable and weird doing that.

»C'mon, you can tell me anything, you know that,« Neil encouraged her when he noticed she struggled with what she wanted to say.

»Well, I told her what I said to you in the car on Sunday. You being the first man I fell in love with and that I consider you a family and then I told her that … that I liked your reaction. You seemed happy and calm. I said that your reaction made me feel secure. When I mentioned to her that I'm feeling secure next to you the conversation kind of shifted to the intimate part of our relationship. She knows I've struggled with sex at the beginning so she asked me how I feel now.«

»What did you answer?« Neil asked taking her hands in his.

»I told her that intimacy with you makes me feel … safe, wanted, loved,« Claire said but didn't look at him.

»Is it hard to talk about this with me?« Neil asked her seeing she's avoiding his gaze.

»No. Not really. You know, I want to ask you something.«

»What?«

»I want to stop with the therapy sessions,« Claire said looking at him.

»Not really a question. You want to ask me what I think if you decide to stop the therapy?«

»Yes.«

»Why do you want to stop with therapy sessions?« Neil asked holding her hands.

»I never stopped going to therapy. Since my mom died I'm in that therapy chair every week. And I feel like I'm doing great now and I … I suggested today to dr. Malkin that I would like to stop going to therapy and she said that I'm still not ready,« Claire said.

»Why does she think that?« Neil asked and Claire looked away knowing she won't tell him the reason dr. Malkin doesn't agree with her giving up on therapy.

»Is it ok if I don't want to tell you yet why she thinks that?« Claire asked carefully and Neil took a moment just staring at her thinking that there are still things Claire isn't comfortable talking about with him.

»It's ok,« he said thinking that there were a lot of things Claire didn't talk about with him in the past. Things that she talks about with him now without hesitation. He knows that whatever she isn't ready to talk about yet she will talk about it with him when she's ready.

Claire nodded in relief, happy that he's so understanding.

»Claire, therapy is a good thing. It helped you. It still does.«

»You think I should continue? I feel good. I really feel good and happy and I feel like I finally found my spot in this world. Like everything is as it should be,« Claire said.

»Claire, I can't tell you what to do. I can just say that I'm really happy that you feel happy and I'm really glad you feel safe with me,« Neil said caressing her cheek.

»Ok. I will then take your advice,« Claire suddenly said.

»What advice?« Neil asked confused.

»You said to me once that the best patients are the ones who ask a lot of questions and keep an open mind. I will keep my mind open and even though I feel like I could stop therapy I will listen to dr. Malkin and continue with it. It helped me get to this point so that means she's doing something right. I should listen to her, right? She's my doctor,« Claire said looking at Neil.

»If only all of our patients were like you our jobs would be a lot easier,« Neil said wrapping his hands around her waist and smiled at her.

»So this means you agree with my decision about continuing the therapy?«

»I support you. Always. I just know that therapy helps you and if dr. Malkin said that you should continue it won't do any harm if you listen to her. But if you decide to not continue with the therapy I support that too. I trust you that you are going to do what's best in your interest,« Neil said.

»You're way too supportive. Sometimes I just wish you would tell me what to do so that I wouldn't have to go crazy thinking what I should do.«

»You know I'm not that kind of a man. I'm not going to tell you what to do,« Neil said and Claire nodded with a smile.

»Come here,« Neil said and hugged her tight feeling Claire's hands tightly wrapping themselves around his shoulders.

They stayed like that for a few seconds.

»This feels really nice,« she whispered nuzzling his neck feeling calm and safe in his tight hug.

»I'm proud of you. I'm so proud of you,« he whispered back and felt how Claire's grip on him got even tighter.

He suddenly heard her smirked.

»Hey, are you, are you crying?« he asked slowly letting go of her to see her.

»Yeah. I'm just happy that you're proud of me. I was such a mess in the past and I'm trying really hard to be better and I feel like I'm finally doing great. I'm happy that I moved in with you when you asked me to, I'm happy that we have a great sex life after me freaking out for four months about it, I'm just happy I know how to love you. I'm just happy that I didn't run away and that when I did want to run away you didn't let me. I'm happy that you love me. I still wake up sometimes and look at you sleeping beside me and I still can't believe that we are together,« she said and again smirked.

»I swear to you, Browne. You are going to make me cry too,« he said and Claire laughed with tears rolling down her cheeks and Neil gently wiped them away and took Claire's face in his hands trying to get her attention.

»What?« she asked when she noticed how he looks at her like he was studying her.

»I'm ok with you not wanting to tell me about the reason dr. Malkin thinks you should continue therapy but … you really can talk with me about anything. I just want you to know that,« Neil said and Claire nodded her face still safely cupped in his hands.

Neil leaned down and kissed her and suddenly their both pagers went off. Neil broke the kiss and they both looked who's paging them.

»Lim is paging me,« Claire said.

»Yeah, me too,« Neil said and they both looked at each other thinking why Lim needs both of them.

**Tuesday, San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital, Dr. Lim's office, 7.27 AM**

As Neil and Claire entered Audrey's office they saw Audrey sitting behind the table and Morgan across her nervously bouncing her leg not looking at them when they entered.

»You paged us,« Neil said and closed the door.

»Yes. Please, sit down,« she offered them and both Neil and Claire knew that something's wrong.

Claire sat next to Morgan that looked at her but quickly looked away again.

»What's going on?« Claire asked carefully looking at dr. Lim.

»I called you two because well, dr. Melendez, you are Morgan's boss, and dr. Browne, you're the Chief Resident. I got a complaint today. Against dr. Reznick,« dr. Lim said and Claire's gaze immediately went to Morgan again.

»From who? And please don't say it's anonymous,« Neil said.

»Dr. Jane Carter,« Lim said.

»How many more times will I have to say it? She's lying, ok? She's lying!« Morgan suddenly burst out but dr. Lim raised her hand and Morgan went quiet again.

»What is the complaint about?« Claire asked.

»Apparently, by what dr. Carter told me, dr. Reznick was rude yesterday to her in the ER. She said that she was unprofessional and that she humiliated her.«

»Bullshit. She made everything up!« Morgan said defending herself again.

»Why isn't dr. Carter present here as well?« Neil asked.

»Dr. Carter, dr. Reznick and I already had the conversation. I called you two now so that we can talk about the consequences.«

»The consequences? What consequences?! She's lying and…«

»Dr. Reznick,« Neil suddenly jumped in and looked at her with a serious look that told Morgan to shut up.

»What happened?« Neil then asked her.

»Dr. Carter was one of the first-year residents that were in the ER yesterday. We worked together on one patient. Stitching. I gave her the chance to do it while I was observing. I noticed her stitches being too wide apart so I warned her about the mistake she's making, I then showed her how it's done properly, and then I gave her the chance to continue on her own. That's all that happened,« Morgan explained.

»Dr. Carter said that dr. Reznick was mocking her telling her that she should know how to stitch already on the first day. That her stitching looks like she learned it in the girl's scouts,« dr. Lim said.

»Oh, c'mon. That's …«

»And that dr. Reznick also said that she can't believe how someone as incompetent as dr. Carter even got the residency at this hospital.«

Morgan saw how Neil looked at her waiting for what she will say.

»I didn't say this. Yes, I said that she should know how to stitch and I made the remark about girl scouts but c'mon, I didn't mean … it was a sarcastic remark. When we were first-year residents we got through much worse. Some of the remarks I got made me cry my eyes out and I am the tough resident. And the second thing that I supposedly said … I didn't say this to her. I didn't call her incompetent. I didn't! I would never say that,« Morgan said firmly.

»Why would dr. Carter made this up?« dr. Lim asked.

»I don't know!!«

»Don't raise your voice at me,« dr. Lim warned her.

»I'm sorry. But I am getting accused of something that I am not guilty of.«

»Dr. Browne, did dr. Carter had any issues with other residents before this incident?« dr. Lim asked and Claire looked at her remembering Neil telling her a few days ago that he saw Jane and Henry fighting in the hallway.

Should she say something? Will Neil say something? Neither of them heard the conversation. They had no idea if Henry had problems with Jane too.

»Dr. Browne?« dr. Lim called her name again waiting for an answer.

»Not that I would know off,« Claire said.

»Dr. Reznick, we all know that you went through a lot this past week and maybe it was a mistake that I let you work without taking some time off so now you will,« dr. Lim said.

»Is this really necessary? Are we really going to believe a first-year resident that we don't even know over dr. Reznick that works here for the fifth year now? Yes, dr. Reznick's tongue is sometimes a little bit too fast and she could use less sarcasm sometimes but she never bullied anyone,« Neil stepped in defending Morgan.

»I decided that she will take a week off,« dr. Lim said to Neil.

»Attending surgeons make sarcastic remarks all the time. If residents reported me after every time I put them in place or disagree with them, warn them about their mistake using sarcasm I would be on a free week all the time. So why the difference?« Neil asked.

»Dr. Reznick is still a resident and…«

»She's a senior resident. She is practically almost an attending surgeon. She is supposed to teach and warn others about the mistakes they are making,« Neil said.

»I agree. It's not a question of teaching, is the way she did it.«

Audrey sighed.

»I didn't call her incompetent. I shared my knowledge with her and this is what I get now?!« Morgan started getting loud again.

»You can't punish her for something you can't prove. You punishing her just means that you believe dr. Carter. And again, you have no proof, just dr. Carter's words,« Claire now said looking at Audrey that hated being in this situation.

»Dr. Reznick. Are you sure that the events you went through last week don't affect your work? Are you sure you didn't snap at dr. Carter because of the stress you're under this last week?« dr. Lim asked.

»I didn't snap. I didn't call her incompetent. I don't know why she said this but she made it up. I swear to you. I made that sarcastic remark but that was it,« Morgan said looking between Audrey and Neil.

»Fine. I won't force you in taking a week off but you will go home for today. You are too stressed now to be in the OR. And if I get one more complaint about you from anyone it will be a different story,« Audrey said and Morgan felt like a huge stone was lifted off her chest.

»Thank you, dr. Lim.«

»You can go,« Audrey said and as Morgan and Claire left Neil remained seated.

»Neil, I'm not going to discuss this anymore, and…«

»I didn't stay for a further discussion,« Neil suddenly said and Audrey looked at him relaxing into her chair.

»Ok. For what then?«

»I just wanted to ask you if we're ok. Yesterday night things were a little bit heated, out of control,« Neil said.

»We're ok. Don't think about it anymore. We all have regrets, we all have problems and we all sometimes snap,« dr. Lim said still thinking about Morgan.

»For the record, I believe Morgan.«

»Why would dr. Carter made this up?« Audrey asked him confused.

»I don't know,« Neil said and stood up ready to leave.

»Neil?«

»Yes?«

»I'm really grateful for you giving me this job. Even though I don't like resident's drama,« Audrey said and Neil nodded with a smile.

»Don't sweat. I will definitely take it away from you once your mandate comes to an end,« Neil said teasingly.

»I know you will,« Audrey said and Neil then left her office.

Neil was sitting in his office his surgery being canceled since another attending needed an OR for emergency surgery. He heard the door opening and looked up from the papers he was looking at.

»Do you have a minute?« Claire asked him.

»Why do you always ask me that babe? You know I always have time for you,« he said.

»Not true. I didn't get my quickie before,« she said smiling but then Neil noticed she got serious.

»What's on your mind?« Neil asked her and Claire sat down across him.

»Why didn't you say anything to Lim about that moment you saw between Henry and Jane? Them fighting in the hallway,« Claire said and Neil sighed.

»Because I don't know what that moment was. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to cause more drama not even being sure if it was a fight. You said it yourself that maybe they just fought over scout work.«

»I think they were fighting and not about scout work,« Claire said and Neil looked at her curious why she said that.

»Listen, when you told me what you saw I didn't remember but … When Jared was at the hospital I was working together with Henry. We were doing imaging together and you know we were talking. Just random stuff and …«

»And what?« Neil asked.

»Henry told me that he has an ex that doesn't leave him alone,« Claire said and Neil furrowed his eyebrows.

»You think that Jane is Henry's ex?« Neil asked and Claire shrugged with her shoulders.

»Yes, I think that Jane's Henry's ex. Listen, Henry told me that his ex doesn't leave him alone, you saw Henry and Jane fighting, Henry and Morgan are now dating and Jane probably knows that. All of these events, can't be just a coincidence. Morgan dating Henry is the reason Jane falsely accused her,« Claire said.

»God, this is waaay too much drama for my taste,« Neil said thinking that Claire might be right.

»I will talk with Henry,« Claire suddenly asked.

»No, he's my resident. I will talk with him.«

»Neil …«

»What?«

»He won't tell you anything. You're his boss. I will talk with him. Plus, you said this is too much drama for your taste. Let me handle this. Plus, I'm Chief Resident and I am the first one that needs to try to solve issues between residents,« Claire said.

»Ok. But please, be careful. I bet Morgan doesn't want to be part of a love triangle and honestly, I also don't want the whole hospital to know about drama between two of my residents,« Neil said and Claire nodded decided that she will look for Henry immediately.

When Claire found Henry she had no idea how she will start the conversation. It would probably be best that she is just blunt and doesn't sugarcoat it.

»Henry, can I talk to you?« she asked him.

»Yes, of course.«

They went outside and sat on one of the benches.

»What's this about?«

»I will ask you something and usually I don't get in other's people business but this time I have no other choice,« Claire said and saw how Henry looked at her with a confused expression.

»Ok …«

»You told me you have an ex-girlfriend that doesn't leave you alone.«

»Yes,« Henry said carefully.

»Is your ex Jane Carter?« Claire asked and for a few seconds, Henry just stared at her.

»What did she do?« he then suddenly said and Claire nodded thinking she was right.

»Does she know you and Morgan are dating?«

»Yes, she knows I like Morgan.«

»Jane and Morgan were working together in the ER yesterday. Jane went to dr. Lim this morning making a complaint against Morgan saying that she called her incompetent which made her feel humiliated.«

Henry couldn't believe what he was hearing.

»I'm going to kill her. Where's Morgan?« Henry asked.

»She was sent home by dr. Lim.«

»Why?«

»Well, Morgan was upset about the complaint. Dr. Lim even wanted to put Morgan on a mandatory leave thinking that the attack she survived is to blame for her supposed behavior and that she needs some time off but dr. Melendez convinced her not to do that.«

»How did you figure out that Jane's my ex?«

»Well, you told me that you have an ex that doesn't leave you alone, Neil saw you and Jane arguing a few days back … it wasn't really hard to connect everything.«

»Does Morgan know?« Henry asked looking at the watch knowing he still has hours until the end of shift when he's gonna be able to see Morgan.

»No.«

»I really like her and she's going to be so angry when she finds out that it's my fault that she's found herself in this mess,« Henry said.

»Why do you think this is your fault?«

»I'm Jane's ex. She made a complaint against Morgan because I'm not paying attention to her because I like Morgan.«

»It's not your fault. You are not responsible for her actions.«

»I can't believe this.«

»May I ask what happened between you and Jane? Why did you leave her?« Claire asked hoping she's not overstepping but she really wanted to get a bigger picture.

»She cheated on me. I found her in my apartment, in my bed with another man.«

»I'm sorry.«

»Don't be. I'm over it. I just wish she would have the decency to let me live my life. She was the one who fucked up and she's acting like I am the bad guy because I don't want to forgive her.«

»You have to tell Morgan,« Claire said seriously.

»I can't.«

»Henry, you have to. She has to find out about this from you. And you have to tell her today.«

»What should I say?« Henry said desperately.

»The truth. Just tell her the truth.«

»I can't believe this. I knew that Jane still didn't accept our breakup but I didn't think she will take it so far.«

»Listen, tell Morgan, and then find a way to control Jane. For now, only I and Melendez know the reason for what she did, dr. Lim doesn't know. But I tell you, dr. Lim and Melendez don't like the personal drama. Why do you think that I and Melendez are so uptight here at work? Our personal stuff shouldn't affect our work. And accusing someone of something they didn't do … Jane was out of line and sooner or later she is gonna suffer because of it, not Morgan,« Claire said.

»Why do you say that?«

»Henry … I know we are all residents but it's not the same if you're a first-year resident or a senior resident. There's a big difference. Morgan, she's one of the best residents that this hospital ever had. Even if she does make a mistake she has someone to watch her back. In this case, Melendez. Morgan proved herself to this hospital countless times. She's an asset. Jane, you, and I'm sorry to say this, you're at the bottom of the food chain. You still have to earn your place here. Maybe Jane wasn't punished now because we can't prove that she's lying but what she did won't be forgotten and I don't want to think what will happen if she pulls off something like this again. It won't go as smoothly as today. Morgan, until now she never had problems. She never had anyone that would officially file a complaint against her so … Morgan will survive this, no doubt about it. But Jane … if she continues causing trouble … won't.«

»I will talk with Morgan,« Henry said and Claire nodded.

»Good,« Claire said and left Henry sitting on the bench.

**Tuesday, Morgan's apartment, 18.51 PM**

Henry was standing in front of Morgan's apartment door afraid to knock. Before he drove toward her place he was driving himself mad for hours about how to tell her that it's his fault Jane is trying to hurt her. She will be so upset. What if she will end everything that is between them? This was just the beginning, this relationship between them didn't even start properly yet and he genuinely thought that they could build something great together if they would decide to be together.

»Damn it, Jane,« he whispered before knocking on the door.

»Henry, hey. I thought you got lost or something. You said you're going to be here two hours ago,« Morgan said as she let him in. I wanted to call you but I didn't want to be annoying.«

»You could never be annoying,« he simply said feeling he is getting more and more nervous.

As he stepped into the living room he saw a glass on the table and a half-empty bottle of wine.

»You want a glass?« she asked.

»No, thanks.«

»God, I wish this wine would kick in already. Sometimes I wish I would be a lightweight like Claire,« she said pouring herself another glass but Henry stepped closer and took the glass and the bottle away from her hands, and as he did that Morgan looked at him.

»What's wrong? Why so serious?« she asked.

»I heard what happened today,« he started talking not really knowing how he should tell her about Jane.

Morgan smirked.

»You know, I was actually a bitch in the past. I wasn't as understanding as now, I was looking out for myself, I definitely wasn't a team player, I annoyed people with my sarcastic remarks. True. But I never got any problems with anyone. Mostly, because no one really wanted to deal with me more than they had to. But now, when I'm actually trying to be a better person, when I'm also trying to be a good mentor, the mentoring kind of annoys me sometimes, by the way, I would much rather spend all of my time in the operating room without mentoring first-year residents, you excluded of course, but now … now I have problems with people, with a first-year resident that doesn't know how to stitch. Unbelievable …« Morgan said her words leaving her mouth like a flood.

»I need to tell you something,« Henry said seriously.

»White, you look like the complaint was filed against you. What's going on?« Morgan asked seeing Henry not being himself.

»Morgan, I …« Henry started to speak but again fell quiet.

»What the hell is going on?« Morgan said standing in front of him.

»I know why Jane filed that complaint against you. Why she made up the things she said about you,« Henry said his heart pounding in his chest and Morgan looked at him with a confused expression on her face.

»Did she tell you something? Do you hang out with her since she's a first-year resident?«

»No. I know because … because …«

»C'mon, White! When did you lose your ability to speak normally?«

»Jane, she, she's my ex,« Henry said and looked at the floor but then back at Morgan that just stared at him without saying anything.

»Morgan, please say something,« Henry said and waited when the storm will hit.

It didn't hit. Morgan didn't say anything. She started laughing and took the bottle of wine taking a sip out of it not bothering to pour the wine into the glass.

»Great. This is great. What else will happen to me this year? I have a serial killer on my back and now your stupid ex,« she said taking one more sip.

»Morgan, please stop drinking,« Henry said looking at her thinking about her reaction.

Was this a good reaction? Would be better if she screamed instead of laughed? What was going through her mind?

»Morgan, I'm so sorry. She did this because of me. Because I like you. But I will talk with her and …«

»You will do no such thing,« Morgan suddenly said putting the bottle down on the table.

»What?«

»You won't talk with her. That's what she wants. She wants attention. She did this for attention. You stay away from her because I swear to you if the whole hospital finds out I'm part of some love triangle … then, then I'm really going to be pissed.«

»There is no love triangle,« Henry quickly said but then fell silent.

»Good,« Morgan simply said.

»Morgan, I … I expected that you will …«

»What? Kick you out? Please. We're not in high school. If you think that I will obsess over Miss Girl Scout not-knowing-how-to-stitch, you really don't know me. I'm a senior resident, one of the best ones at St. Bonaventure in the last five years. I'll get through this. Jane … if she continues like this, won't.«

»So, we're ok?« Henry asked carefully still waiting that Morgan will start screaming.

»What did you see in this little mouse anyway?« Morgan asked sitting down on the couch and Henry sighed taking a seat next to her.

»Morgan, I don't want to talk about her and I'm really sorry that you have problems because of me.«

»Henry, you can't be responsible for her actions. Were you the one who ended the relationship?«

»Yes.«

»When?« Morgan asked and Henry panicked knowing that the breakup was quite fresh.

»Not long ago. Five weeks. But please don't think that you are a rebound or anything. You aren't. I and Jane didn't work for quite some time before I left her. I'm done with her and I'm moving on,« Henry said and Morgan nodded.

»Why did you leave her?«

Henry stayed quiet for a moment.

»Can we talk about this another time? I don't want to talk about her now,« Henry answered, and Morgan nodded.

»Yes, we can talk about this another time.«

»You're really not mad at me?« Henry asked.

»I'm not mad at you,« Morgan said and sighed deeply resting her head on his shoulder.

»Henry, I have a serial killer on my back. Someone that actually wants to hurt me, kill me. He already got to me once. Your jealous ex-girlfriend is not really something I would worry about right now.«

»But she is messing with your career,« Henry said feeling the weight of Morgan's head on his shoulder.

They both fell silent and Morgan didn't comment on his remark.

»Morgan? What are you thinking about?«

»Talking about messing with my career,« she said pointing toward the note that was on the table in front of them.

She raised her head, looked at Henry that was looking at the note on the table and the envelope next to it.

»Morgan, is this … is …«

»It's a new note from my fan,« Morgan said and Henry took the note in his hands.

_Hey, blondie!_

_I'm sorry you're having a bad day. How do you feel when you are not able to work? Not good, right? Your precious career suffering. I think it's good that you know how it feels since you're good at making people suffer, good at ruining their lives._

_Your admirer_

»What the hell? How does he know everything?« Henry said looking at the note.

»I don't know,« Morgan said calmly.

»How are you so calm? How can you stay so calm?« Herny asked her.

»Well, I'm taking Marco's advice and I'm living my life.«

»Did you call him?«

»No.«

»Why not? Morgan, you have to call him.«

»Not tonight.«

»Morgan, you…«

»Not tonight Henry! Tomorrow. They found nothing since the first letter. They couldn't track down the girl that brought it. Nothing. This note won't make a difference.«

»You don't know that. What if…«

»Tomorrow Henry. End of story,« she said firmly and Henry sighed.

Morgan started laying down on the couch and Henry looked back at her as she made herself comfortable.

»You want to join?« she said quietly and his first thought was that he didn't hear right.

He stared at her thinking about her question.

»Do I have to ask you again or will you grab the chance to snuggle with me?« Morgan said with a little smile.

Henry smiled back at her and lay down next to her and to his surprise, Morgan laid her head on his chest taking a deep breath.

»Thank you for telling me about Jane. I'm glad I heard it from you. I would find out about you two sooner or later and if I didn't hear it from you … well, then I would be really mad. Thank you for being honest with me,« Morgan said feeling calm next to him even though there was a second note from her admirer on the table reminding her that she's still in danger.

»I just wish she would get over the breakup. I didn't know she's capable of something like this. I feel like I don't know her at all,« Henry said allowing himself to embrace Morgan tighter.

»I'm glad you're here,« Morgan said closing her eyes.

»Me too. I can stay if you want me to.«

»White, don't push your luck,« Morgan said smiling looking up at him and she couldn't avoid looking at his lips when she realized how close to them she is.

»Hey, I didn't mean that we would … I just meant that …«

»I know, I'm messing with you,« Morgan laughed.

»I will sleep on the couch,« Henry said also laughing but then they both got serious.

»If you want to stay, you can stay,« Morgan said again resting her head against him.

After a few minutes, Henry reached toward the table taking the note in his hands.

»Henry, don't. Leave it.«

»Just, let me read it again,« Henry said and Morgan sighed looking at the note he was holding up to reread it.

»Morgan?«

»What?«

»How does this note sound to you?« Henry asked her and Morgan smiled.

»You notice it too?« she asked.

»He's talking about how you feel. He enjoys you're hurting but that's nothing new since he wants to hurt you. And this line. The last one. _I think it's good that you know how it feels since you're good at making people suffer, good at ruining their lives._ It sounds personal _,_ « Henry said.

»I noticed this too. I think I'm not just a random woman he picked to rape and kill. I think it's more to it. He picked me as a target. He wants to punish me for something I did.«

»But for what?«

»I don't know,« Morgan said not wanting to even think about it anymore.

She wished that she could just ignore everything that was happening.

»You should call Marco,« Henry tried his luck again.

»Tomorrow Henry, tomorrow. Now I just want to be here with you. I think that the wine is starting to kick in. I'm sleepy,« she said closing her eyes again.

»Do you want to go to bed?« Henry asked starting to get up but Morgan shook her head.

»Don't move. I don't want to go to bed yet. It's too early for bed,« she protested and Henry was glad that he will be able to hold her in his embrace for a little while longer.

»Will you stay?« he heard her asking and she again looked at him, their gazes locked on each other.

»I'll stay,« Henry answered.

»Good,« Morgan said quietly and relaxed against him her legs tangling with his and she sighed feeling glad that Henry's with her because the last thing she wants is to be alone.

Henry was looking at the ceiling while lying on the couch completely still to not wake Morgan up. She fell asleep in his arms an hour ago. Her head was resting on his chest and her arm was dropped over his waist. Henry was thinking about everything that happened to him since he started his residency. New job, meeting Morgan, dating her now, finding out about the threat that she was facing, Jane … it was unbelievable how everything changed. He again looked toward the table where the note was. Why did this person want to hurt Morgan? What did Morgan do to this person that was after her and wanted her dead? Henry remembered how Morgan said that she was a bitch in the past. He again remembered about Jane's remark that she did something to Claire and dr. Melendez. Henry wanted to ask Morgan so many things but he knew that this isn't the right time to tire her with questions about her past when she could barely manage to get through every day without something being thrown at her making her life difficult. Morgan he knew was a good person, she was a great woman. And even if she made mistakes in the past she knew how to fix them. Her friendship with Claire was proof of that. If Morgan really hurt Claire and dr. Melendez, she was able to get their forgiveness.

Henry's thoughts tired him out. He felt how he started drifting away and Morgan's insanely comfortable couch and the warmth of her body didn't really help him to stay awake. He closed his eyes and concentrated on Morgan's slow even breathing that helped him fall into a deep slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read! What did you like the most about this chapter? What do you think about the second note that Morgan received? Please let me know by leaving a comment. 💖


	30. Do you want to have kids with me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire works together with Jane wanting to get to know her better and trying to make her realize that she should focus on her work. Neil and Claire have an important conversation. Morgan and Henry go to the police station and tell Marco about the second letter Morgan received from the serial killer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! 🤗
> 
> With this chapter, I wanted that Claire stands out as a Chief Resident and I hope that I did a good job at portraying her as a fair, forgiving, and objective Chief Resident. There is also a very important conversation in this chapter considering Neil and Claire's future. 💖
> 
> Reznite is also getting closer and closer. I really hope you are enjoying the pairing of Morgan and Henry. 😍😊
> 
> By the way, I think that you are going to be glad to hear that after this chapter there is going to be a time jump. Can you believe it? 😂 In chapter 31, we will jump to Saturday when the long-awaited gala will start happening. I don't know exactly how many chapters will cover the gala (from the preparations, the actual gala, and the night after it – I have some very hot Melendaire plans for the night 😉🔥). I just hope that you will enjoy this special event. 😍
> 
> Enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think of it in the comment section! 🤗
> 
> Sarah

**Previously on Grateful for you …**

Henry was looking at the ceiling while lying on the couch completely still to not wake Morgan up. She fell asleep in his arms an hour ago. Her head was resting on his chest and her arm was dropped over his waist. Henry was thinking about everything that happened to him since he started his residency. New job, meeting Morgan, dating her now, finding out about the threat that she was facing, Jane … it was unbelievable how everything changed. He again looked toward the table where the note was. Why did this person want to hurt Morgan? What did Morgan do to this person that was after her and wanted her dead? Henry remembered how Morgan said that she was a bitch in the past. He again remembered about Jane's remark that she did something to Claire and dr. Melendez. Henry wanted to ask Morgan so many things but he knew that this isn't the right time to tire her with questions about her past when she could barely manage to get through every day without something being thrown at her making her life difficult. Morgan he knew was a good person, she was a great woman. And even if she made mistakes in the past she knew how to fix them. Her friendship with Claire was proof of that. If Morgan really hurt Claire and dr. Melendez, she was able to get their forgiveness.

Henry's thoughts tired him out. He felt how he started drifting away and Morgan's insanely comfortable couch and the warmth of her body didn't really help him to stay awake. He closed his eyes and concentrated on Morgan's slow even breathing that helped him fall into a deep slumber.

***

**Wednesday, Morgan's apartment, 3.13 AM**

Henry woke up in the middle of the night, looking around Morgan's apartment noticing she's still sound asleep next to him on the couch. He rubbed his eyes and slowly started to get up trying not to wake her. When he managed to get off the couch he gently picked her up and started carrying her toward her bedroom.

»What are you doing?« he heard her sleepy voice.

»Taking you to bed. It's in the middle of the night. We both fell asleep on the couch,« he said quietly and gently laid her on the bed helping her with covers as she blindly tried to pull it over her body.

Henry looked at her thinking she should probably be more comfortable if she changed herself into pajamas but she didn't seem to mind sleeping in her clothes. He could see she was tired. All of the things that were happening to her took their toll. He turned away and started leaving her room.

»Where are you going?« he heard her asking and looked toward the bed noticing she is looking at him.

»Back to the couch. Go back to sleep, you need to rest,« he said and Morgan shook her head.

»Come here. The bed is big enough and we already slept half of the night snuggled next to each other. Plus, you also need proper rest and the couch doesn't cut it,« she said and Henry smiled not opposing her invitation.

He pulled away the covers on the other side of the bed and made himself comfortable.

»I don't have an alarm set,« Morgan suddenly said looking around noticing her phone is nowhere near.

»Don't worry. My alarm will wake us. Sleep now,« he said again and Morgan thought if now, when they were in bed, she should also snuggle close to him or if she should stay on her side of the bed.

She wanted to snuggle with him some more. It felt good to have him close. Morgan didn't have to poke her brain about it for long because Henry took that step and encouraged her to raise her head so that his hand could slide under her and this way they again found themselves embraced letting sleep take over them.

***

**Wednesday, St. Jose San Bonaventure Hospital, 6.10 AM**

Claire was walking toward the office of Jane's attending and knocked on the door of his office before entering.

»Dr. Grey, can I have a minute?«

»Of course, dr. Browne, come in. Are you going to ask me if you can assist me today?« he said smiling and Claire smiled back knowing that dr. Grey always tries to get her on his service, always telling Neil that he doesn't know how he gets all of the most talented residents, and then Neil fights him saying that he is just such a good mentor that knows how to make his residents shine.

Dr. Grey always rolled his eyes at that remark telling him that he is just lucky.

»No, sorry. I'm already booked for today,« she said with a smile.

»That's a shame,« he said and pointed with his hand toward the chair offering her to sit.

»I won't take a lot of your time. I just wanted to ask you if I can take dr. Carter with me to the morning rounds,« Claire asked, and dr. Grey sighed.

»You can. But I have to ask. Is this because of what happened yesterday? Her complaining against dr. Reznick?« he asked.

»No. Until now I worked with two other first-year residents and now I want to work with dr. Carter to see how she is carrying herself here in the hospital. I just want to see her work and mentor her. Dr. Lim asked me to keep my eyes on the first-year residents and I guess I'm not doing a good job with dr. Carter since things escalated to a complaint from her side in just a week of her working here,« Claire said.

»What is your opinion on her complaint?« dr. Grey asked.

»What is yours?« Claire asked back.

»I don't know. I don't know what reason could she have that she would make this up. And I also think that dr. Reznick could snap like that. But … we can't prove it, so I guess it wouldn't be fair to blame anyone.«

Claire nodded knowing the truth behind everything but she wasn't planning on sharing it because there was no need that the whole hospital knows about Jane being Henry's ex and Morgan and Henry dating. It was just too much drama. Plus, Morgan wasn't punished so for now everything calmed down.

»Are you sure that you wanting to work with dr. Carter doesn't have any connection with the complaint against dr. Reznick that's your friend?« dr. Grey asked and Claire knew he isn't attacking her, he was just concerned about a new problem that would appear if she wasn't objective about Jane.

»Dr. Grey, I know how to separate my personal and my professional life,« Claire said raising an eyebrow at him and dr. Grey smiled.

»Well, if there is someone in this hospital that knows how to do that is you and well, dr. Melendez. It's not that I doubt you, it's just … we can get overprotective about the people we care about very quickly.«

»Thank you for your concern but you have nothing to worry about,« Claire said, and dr. Grey nodded.

»Ok. I'm going to find my residents now in the lounge and I will send her to you, ok?« dr. Grey suggested and Claire nodded.

»Thank you,« Claire said.

»No problem.«

Claire was waiting for Jane at the nurse's station.

»Dr. Browne,« Claire heard and looked up seeing Jane standing next to her.

»Dr. Carter, good morning.«

»Good morning. Dr. Grey said you asked for me,« she said and Claire nodded.

»Yes, we're going to do rounds together,« Claire said politely and gave her a smile taking all of the patient's charts from the counter and preparing to step toward the first room.

»Dr. Browne?« she heard Jane and turned around to see what she wants.

»Yes?«

»I'm honored to work with you. I, I hear great things about you, you are an amazing surgeon … but … did you ask for me because of the complaint I made?« Jane asked and Claire looked at her, studying her not knowing how to read her.

She knew that Jane lied about Morgan, she knew that she is making Henry's life difficult but she also had a feeling that she was being honest about what she said to her now about being honored to work with her.

»You and dr. Reznick being friends you know,« Jane added and Claire sighed putting all of the charts back on the nurse's station counter.

»Dr. Carter, you said you heard a lot of great things about me as a surgeon. One of my positive qualities is also that I know very well how to separate my personal and my professional life,« Claire said and saw Jane nodding.

»You mean because of your relationship with dr. Melend…«

»We won't speak about my personal life. That is why it's called personal. I asked for you today because I want to see you working with patients. That's my job. I will also mentor you when you're going to work next to me and at the end of the day I will tell you what I think about your work and I hope you will pull out of my positive or negative observations as much as possible,« Claire said and saw how Jane nodded.

»I wouldn't make that complaint if it wasn't true,« Jane said and Claire tilted her head at her.

»Dr. Carter, I'm going to be honest with you. I know about you and dr. White. I know about dr. White and dr. Reznick. I know that when emotions are involved people can make mistakes. But let me give you a piece of advice. Focus on work. You being here, working here is an honor. A lot of candidates for residency weren't as lucky as you. Move on and focus on yourself. Know when to let go,« Claire said and saw how Jane lowered her head like she was ashamed.

»And don't ever lie to me again. We are surgeons and we have to trust each other. If you are lying to me now how am I gonna be able to trust you when we are going to be together in the OR?« Claire asked.

»I'm sorry,« Jane said.

»You don't have to apologize. Just make sure it doesn't happen again,« Claire said seriously and Jane nodded.

»Now, are we gonna start working or what?« Claire said and smiled.

»Yes,« Jane said nodding and took half of the folders so Claire didn't have to carry all of them.

Claire didn't know but Neil heard the whole conversation since he was in Serena's room checking up on her and the room was right next to the nurse's station.

***

»She's amazing as a surgeon and as a leader, right?« he heard Serena asking him when Claire and Jane went from the nurse's station to start their rounds.

Neil looked at Serena and he saw a friendly and a little bit challenging look on her. Like her question wasn't meant just for Claire's boss to answer. Did she know about them?

»I know about you two,« Serena then added and Neil smiled.

»She really is. She truly is the best resident I ever worked with and I'm not saying this because she's my girlfriend.«

»I know,« Serena said smiling.

»When she's going to be my age, she's going to be better than I am now,« Neil said and Serena smiled.

»Well, students always have to become better than mentors. That means that the mentor did a great job,« Serena said and smiled.

»Yeah … but sometimes … sometimes I have a feeling I learned from her more than she learned from me. Not when it comes to surgical knowledge but … I'm a better person because of her and that makes me a better surgeon as well,« Neil said closing Serena's chart and then he shook his head and smiled awkwardly.

»Why am I telling you all of this? I'm sorry, this is…«

»It's ok. People always say that I make them comfortable … so they spill all their secrets to me without a problem,« Serena said smiling and Neil nodded smiling back.

»Well, I am happy to say that you are doing great. You are recovering from surgery just like you are supposed to so we are on the right track. When dr. Browne finishes her rounds she will take you to your daughter,« Neil said telling Serena about her health state.

»Angela,« Neil heard her say.

»What?«

»Angela, my daughter's name is Angela.«

»A beautiful name,« Neil said and smiled and Serena couldn't not notice a longing look in his eyes.

»You and dr. Browne, do you have kids?« Serena asked carefully starting to fish for some information with which she could maybe ease Claire's mind after what she told her, information with which she could maybe help her find the courage to talk to her boyfriend about kids.

Neil looked at Serena not knowing if he should just finish the conversation saying he doesn't want to talk about his personal things. He was different than Claire in that department. Claire didn't have problems with establishing a personal bond with patients but he always tried to keep the distance as much as he could, being friendly and welcoming but still protecting himself from letting things get too personal. But there was something about Serena that didn't let him just brush her off.

»No. We … we don't have kids and I think we won't have them soon,« Neil said and Serena tried to figure out if a man in front of her looks disappointed with what he just told her.

»Why not?« Serena asked and Neil stepped closer to her bed.

»It's complicated. We are complicated. I mean … no, we're not complicated … we were but we … God, am I gonna be able to say a proper sentence?« Neil said again smiling awkwardly.

»It's just … I don't want to scare her off with pushing her toward having children. She younger than me, she's still a resident even though her residency is coming to an end. I think that having kids is on the bottom of the things she wants right now,« Neil said.

»But you do want to have kids with her?«

»Of course. If it was my decision I would have kids with her right now. Maybe that is why I'm so afraid to have the conversation about kids with her. Mostly, I'm afraid that she doesn't want them. I am willing to wait to have kids with her but I am afraid to find out that she doesn't want them at all.«

Serena remembered the conversation with Claire when she told her she wants kids with him but she's afraid of what kind of mother she'll be.

»If she wouldn't want kids … what would that mean? Would you break things off with her?« Serena asked.

»No. I wouldn't. I love her but … I think she would be the one who would break off with me if we realized that we don't want the same thing.«

»Why do you think that?« Serena asked surprised not believing that Claire would leave this man that was now standing in front of her.

»You know, four years ago I was in a relationship with someone else. We were engaged, I thought that this is it. I had a great woman, a house, I was engaged, I thought that I have everything that a person should have at that stage of life you know. Until she told me she doesn't want kids. I was prepared to not have kids if that meant I could be with her but then she was the one who broke things off,« Neil said remembering about Jessica.

»So you think that dr. Browne would do the same? Why?«

»Because she cares about me more than she cares about herself. Just like Jessica did. Do you know what Jessica said? That she wouldn't want me to resent her one day. She was afraid that one day I would wake up and hate her for not giving me what I want. I think Claire would think the same as Jessica if we found ourselves in the same situation,« Neil explained taking a deep breath.

»Why do you even think that there is a possibility she doesn't want kids?«

»She had a rough childhood, a lousy relationship with her mother. I am sure she's afraid of becoming a mother. I don't need to talk to her to know that. I guess I'm just hoping that this fear is not big enough to make her not want to have kids.«

»Dr. Melendez, talk to her,« Serena simply said and gave him a gentle smile.

»I don't know how to find the right time,« Neil admitted.

»There will never be the right time for a conversation like this. You are afraid of it so you will always think that the time isn't right. Why would you torture yourself if you can find everything out with a conversation?«

»Yeah, you're right,« Neil said smiling and then they were interrupted by Claire and Jane entering the room.

»Good morning, Serena,« they suddenly heard and Neil turned around seeing Claire and Jane entering the room.

Claire gave him a soft loving look and a little smile but then turned to Serena.

»How are you today?« she asked looking at Serena.

»Very good, thank you. Dr. Melendez just told me that everything is ok, so I'm really calm and I can't wait to see Angela again. I heard she is also doing great,« Serena said smiling.

»She is. Angela is doing perfect,« Claire said.

»Serena, do you mind showing dr. Carter here your incision sight? She's working with me today and since she's a first-year resident I want to teach her as much as I can when she's with me,« Claire asked Serena and then looked at Neil that just observed the whole situation with a proud grin on his face that he couldn't hide.

It was really just a pleasure to observe Claire in her working mode, being a Chief Resident, talking to patients, teaching dr. Carter without ever showing any sign of annoyance with her because of what she did to Morgan. But she probably wasn't even annoyed. Like she said to Jane in the hallways. When emotions are involved people can make mistakes. Claire was always prepared to give a second chance to someone as long as they don't repeat the mistake they did in the first place.

»Well, I have to go because I have surgery but I'm leaving you in the safe hands of dr. Browne and dr. Carter,« Neil said and Serena nodded.

Claire went through everything with Jane, asked her questions and not just the questions that were needed to do a check-up because of the rounds they were doing but also questions regarding the whole surgery Serena went through. Jane was listening to her questions carefully, answered as best as she could and Claire saw that she listened carefully when she corrected her answers. Claire had to admit that working with Jane wasn't hard. Yes, she was struggling at certain moments but who didn't struggle as a first-year resident?«

»Good. Serena, you are doing great. As soon as I finish rounds I can take you to Angela or if you want to go now I can ask someone else to take you to her if…«

»No. I want you to take me to her if that's ok,« Serena said wanting the opportunity to speak to Claire again.

»Ok, I will come to get you as soon as I can,« Claire said and smiled at her.

When they finished the rounds about two hours later Claire and Jane were standing at the nurse's station finishing up the paperwork when Morgan approached them.

»Claire, dr. Lim asked me to tell you that your lead surgery today is rescheduled to an hour earlier,« she said to Claire not looking at Jane.

»Thanks, Morgan. How did the surgery with Melendez go?« Claire asked her.

»Why are you even asking that? You know the answer. Your talented boyfr…«

Morgan was caught off by Claire's death stare and she quickly bit her tongue knowing Claire doesn't want her making remarks like that when someone else is around. Like Jane right now.

»The surgery was a success. There was a complication but Melendez made everything work. You should have seen the improvisation. I swear to you, I want his brain,« Morgan said and Claire smiled again thinking about how much she misses working with him more often.

»I'm glad to hear everything went well,« Claire said and Morgan then nodded leaving her alone with Jane again.

»So, dr. Carter, you did well today,« Claire said and looked at Jane that stayed quiet.

Claire turned away from the charts to face her.

»You remind me of me when I started working here,« Claire said and Jane looked at her with big surprised eyes.

»Why are you looking at me like that?« Claire asked.

»I remind you of you? I don't believe it. You are, well … you … Chief Resident known for a bunch of lead surgeries that you successfully pulled off, everyone is talking about your communication skills, every attending wants you on their service. I find it hard to see a resemblance between us. I'm a struggling mess,« Jane said and Claire sighed.

»You think that I was like I am today when I started working here? I am not the same person anymore. The hospital changed me. People here changed me, help me grow. I've struggled a lot at the beginning. It was hard to earn my place here. My strongest competition here was dr. Reznick actually. I thought that there is no way that I can live up to her no matter how much I tried. At the time I thought that my empathy and getting close to patients was my disadvantage. I didn't know that it was actually my perk. One evening, after a veeeery long and hard shift dr. Melendez asked me if I read an article that dr. Reznick wrote and that he found amazing. I wanted to punch him in the face.«

»Did you read it?« Jane asked and she couldn't hide a little smile that appeared on her face.

»No, I said to him with a big load of sarcasm attached to it that it was on the top of my to-do list. I have never read it. But that evening changed me. His question was like a kick in my ass,« Claire said avoiding telling Jane about the compliment he gave her that night, that she was special and that she should play the game on her own terms.

That was what truly made her think about her as a surgeon, about how she has to step up the game. If he believed in her, if one of the best surgeons in the country believed in her, she also has to believe in herself and rise up.

»What I'm trying to say is that everyone struggles, everyone makes mistakes. You are going to keep making them and we are going to criticize you and correct you so you know how to improve. It's our job to tell you that your stitches aren't ok,« Claire said and Jane again looked at the floor.

»I … I just …«

»Dr. Carter, take this conversation as a kick in your ass. You can become a great surgeon. You have a lot of knowledge, you do know how to listen because I saw you listening to me and following my instructions today, you are kind to patients no matter how annoying they are,« Claire said and Jane smiled knowing that she had that annoying guy in mind from the room four.

»But if you will let the wrong things distract you, then you won't become a great surgeon. Relationships suck sometimes, they end up in a messy way but like I said … you should move on. You should focus on your career here. I know that the whole situation with dr. Reznick and dr. White annoys you, I know that sometimes jealousy gets the best of you but it's not worth it. A failed relationship is not worth that you would ruin your chances here, make other residents and attendings think that you are difficult to work with, someone that they can't trust. I saw today that this isn't the real you. Am I right?«

Jane looked at Claire thinking about why the hell she even reported Morgan. Yes, she was angry and hurt and jealous but … it was Matthew that put an idea into her head, that she should do something about it if she feels like she was done wrong. Yes, she felt she was done wrong but she wasn't annoyed with her stitching being compared with stitches from a girl scout. She was annoyed because Morgan said that and Morgan was getting close with Henry which annoyed her even more. If her stitching would be criticized by any other doctor she wouldn't file a complaint. She made it personal because of jealousy. God, what did she do?

»Dr. Reznick is an amazing surgeon, she's an amazing surgical resident. A resident you can look up to. She has a lot to teach you if you let her,« Claire said and Jane nodded.

»Should I apologize to her?« Jane said and Claire sighed.

»I don't know. I guess if you feel like you want to you can. Apologize if you are honestly sorry for what you did. And most importantly, don't do a mistake like that again,« Claire said.

»Thank you for letting me work with you today and for this kick in the ass,« Jane said and smiled awkwardly at Claire.

»Don't make me regret it,« Claire said seriously.

»I won't,« Jane said, and then she got paged by dr. Grey.

»I have to go. My attending is paging me.«

»Go,« Claire said knowing Serena is waiting for her too.

»Thank you again,« Jane said and then quickly ran down the hallway.

Claire sighed hoping she got through Jane and then quickly went toward Serena's room.

»Ready to see Angela?« Claire asked smiling at Serena and Josh that was now also here and they both nodded with excitement.

As Serena was looking at her daughter, caressing her hand every now and again looking at Josh, Claire was again thinking about the conversation she was afraid of having with Neil.

»You should talk to him,« she suddenly heard Serena.

»What?«

»You should talk with dr. Melendez about you two having kids,« Serena said.

»I don't…«

»Listen, it's gonna go great, trust me,« Serena said thinking that Claire was afraid for nothing.

He wanted kids with her, she wanted kids with him, she wanted to wait a little bit with having kids and he was prepared to wait that she's prepared. They were on the same page, they just didn't know it yet.

»Did you talk to him? Did you tell him what I told you?« Claire suddenly asked.

»No! No. I didn't tell him about our conversation but I did kind of fish to get more information out of him,« Serena admitted.

»What did he say?« Claire asked suddenly with big ears and big eyes looking at Serena.

»Oh no. Maybe I am a double agent but I won't give either of the sides any advantages. You will just have to trust me that the conversation will go just fine,« Serena said smiling at her.

»C'mon, what did he say?« Claire asked again with begging eyes.

»That puppy look, doesn't work on me,« Serena said and Claire smiled.

»You really won't tell me what you two were talking about?« Claire said.

»No, but if you need someone to talk to after the conversation with him, here's my number. You can call me anytime. Even when I'm not your patient anymore. I can be an amazing friend and I think you need more friends,« Serena said and Claire took the note Serena was giving her looking at her phone number.

»Well, a person can never have too many friends,« Claire said putting away the note into her pocket.

The rest of the shift went by quickly. She was changing in the locker room when Morgan appeared.

»Traitor,« she said and Claire knew immediately why she called her that.

»Morgan, don't…«

»I get it. Don't worry. You are Chief Resident. You have to be objective about her even though she is a bitch,« Morgan said sitting down on the bench in front of the lockers.

»I think she deserves a second chance. Try to forget what happened yesterday,« Claire said.

»What? I can't just…«

»Listen. She's hurting. She lost her boyfriend. She's jealous. She made a mistake. You did mistakes too in the past, remember? And we forgave you,« Claire said and saw how Morgan's face dropped.

»I don't support what she did. I let her know that. She knows she did a mistake,« Claire said.

»What if you're wrong about her? What if you trust the wrong person again?«

»Well, then I will learn my lesson. For now, I am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. You should too,« Claire said and Morgan sighed.

»Why are you so sure she won't do something like this again?«

»Because she doesn't want to disappoint me,« Claire said smiling and Morgan laughed at the realization.

»You think she looks up to you? Like you always looked up to Melendez not wanting to disappoint him?« Morgan asked.

»Yes, I think she does.«

»Well, I hope you are right,« Morgan said and looked at Claire which face light up at the message she got.

»Melendez wants a quickie?« Morgan asked and Claire rolled her eyes smiling at her.

»No, I just got a message that my dress is ready for me to pick it up. They had to customize it for me. I hope Neil's tux is ready too,« Claire said with excitement.

»Wait, you have a customized dress for the gala?« Morgan asked in surprise.

»Don't even say anything. I still feel a little bad that I let him buy this dress for me.«

»You let him buy a dress for you? You never let him buy anything. I think he is happy like a child now,« Morgan said smiling.

»Yeah, he is,« Claire said smiling back.

»Where did he buy you the dress?«

»Don't even ask. It cost him a fortune. I know he said he doesn't expect anything in return but I still feel like I owe him something,« Claire said still not completely comfortable with how much money Neil spent on her.

»I think he is going to be ok with you giving him lots and lots of sex,« Morgan said and Claire laughed and closed her locker.

»Shut up.«

»What? It's true!! You have a sugar daddy. Sex will do it.«

»Morgan, shut up!« Claire said laughing again.

»What are you two laughing about so much?« they suddenly heard Neil and went quiet.

»Nothing, babe,« Claire said and shook her head at Morgan not approving her teasing remarks.

»Did you get a message as well? My tux is ready,« Neil asked her.

»Yes, my dress is ready too. Will we go to pick our beautiful attire?« Claire asked him excitedly and Neil nodded.

»Yesss, let's go. Morgan, White is looking for you,« Neil said as Claire stand next to him ready to leave the hospital.

Morgan looked at the watch.

»Yes, I'm late.«

»Look at you. You have plans with him today as well? You are spending a lot of time together,« Claire said and Morgan looked at her wishing her plans with Henry wouldn't be going to the police station.

»Well, we get along great, so …«

»Good. I'm glad,« Claire said.

»Well, see you tomorrow,« Morgan said and quickly left the room to meet Henry.

»We should go too. I want to go home,« Neil said and leaned to kiss her.

»Mmm, I missed this,« Claire said when his lips touched hers.

»Me too,« he whispered back and then took her hand in his.

The locker room was just a few steps away from the entrance of the hospital and usually, they didn't hold hands when they left it. Usually, they let their hands part as soon as they passed the threshold of the locker room but this time Neil didn't let go of her.

»Neil?« she said and he stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked at her his fingers still intertwined with hers.

»What babe?« he asked and smiled at her knowing what is going through her mind.

»Nothing,« she said looking around noticing that people were just passing them by and no one paid attention to them or their intertwined fingers.

»It's all good,« she said and smiled and they continued to walk towards the entrance leaving the hospital holding their hands for the first time for everyone to see.

***

**Wednesday, 4.45 PM, Melendaire home**

When they came home Claire carefully took out the dress and looked at it again. She tried it on at the store so that they made sure everything is how it's supposed to be. The dress was perfect.

»I can't wait for you to wear it on Saturday,« Neil said looking at Claire that was observing the dress and gently touching it.

»I can't wait for you to take it off,« she said teasing him and he smiled back.

»Oh, you can be sure of that.«

She sighed and carefully put the dress back into the box her mind suddenly somewhere else.

»That was a desperate sigh,« Neil said throwing himself on the couch looking at her.

Claire sat down as well and observed how he comfortably sat on the couch, looking relaxed and content. Serena's words were like a broken record in her head pushing her toward the conversation she wants to have with him but was always too afraid to start. What if it will go horrible? What if this will be something that they won't agree on? They have to agree on it. They have to, otherwise, their relationship will suffer and that is a fact. He wants to be a dad, she wants to have children with him but at the same time, she's scared to be a mother. What if he doesn't want to wait anymore? So many what if's. 

»Claire?« she heard him calling her name with his soft voice.

»What?«

»Are you ok? You seem ... lost in thoughts.«

»I … I ... There is something that ... that I want to talk to you about ... for quite some time actually,« she said carefully her heart starting to pound like crazy.

»Ok. About what?« Neil asked his face gentle and curious.

Claire sighed and wanted to speak but the words didn't come out. She opened her mouth once again but then closed them. Again. God, why is this so hard, she thought. 

»Claire, you are starting to freak me out a little bit. You look pale,« Neil said and stood up, stepping those few steps toward her and sat down next to her.

»It's ... it's just scary. The thing I want to talk to you about,« she admitted and Neil nodded.

»Ok, take your time. It's fine. Listen, as long as you don't tell me you're leaving me, I can take it,« he said with a teasing tone gently taking her hand in his and Claire managed to give him a nervous smile.

»I'm not leaving you,« she said back teasingly.

»Good,« he smiled but deep down he was becoming a nervous wreck himself, she was making him nervous.

What did she want to talk about?

»Just, wait ... just a second,« Claire said and suddenly got up from the couch and went to the kitchen, toward the refrigerator but as she reached it she turned around and went toward the corner where Neil kept his best liquor thinking she needs something stronger than a beer.

Neil observed her walking up and down the apartment and how she poured two drinks. One for each of them.

»Ok, do I need a shot of whiskey for what you are about to tell me?« he asked smiling taking the glass from her when she came back to him and took a sip.

»You, probably not, me, yes,« Claire said smiling.

»You don't even like whiskey.«

»Beer isn't strong enough, so ...«

»Claire, what's this about?« Neil asked now really worried but also curious.

»Serena's case … it got me thinking,« Claire started and Neil's heart skipped a beat.

»About our ... future. It's ... actually, it's not just Serena's case that got me thinking. I was thinking about this for a while now but I guess that Serena was just a trigger now.«

Their future? Serena? Will this go in the direction he thinks it will, Neil asked himself in his thoughts. Does she want to talk about kids? He quickly took another sip of whiskey thinking he does need it. She wasn't the only one that was nervous about this conversation. And he wasn't just nervous. He was scared. What if she doesn't want to become a mother due to the lousy relationship she had with her own mother? God, he doesn't want to go through the same thing that he went through with Jessica. He loves Claire, he loves her more than anything but he can't lie that it would crush him if she said that she doesn't want to have kids. It crushed him with Jessica and it will crush him even more with her. 

»We … we never talked about having kids. I was always afraid of this conversation but I think that now we are in a good place, I think it's ok if we talk about it,« Claire said looking at him observing his face that was telling her that he's surprised and nervous and ... terrified? 

Yes, he looked terrified. It was a look that she wasn't used to seeing on him. Shit, he's scared just as she is. What if he doesn't want to talk about this yet and she brought it up at the wrong moment?

»Or we don't have to if you don't want to ....« Claire quickly said not knowing if she should continue.

»No! No, I want to. You just, you surprised me. You caught me off guard. I always thought that I'm going to be the one that will start this conversation and now you ... well, you are apparently braver than me. I wanted to have this conversation with you for a while now too but I ... I didn't want to scare you with moving too fast,« Neil admitted and Claire sighed in relief that she didn't make a mistake starting this conversation.

»Neil, I know you wanted to have kids. With Jessica. Is that still what you want? I mean, not with Jessica … with … with me, you know and … oh gosh, I'm … I'm sorry, I'm so nervous,« Claire said and the tension between them was suddenly disturbed by Neil laughing at her awkwardness, and she laughed too.

»I do want kids,« Neil said.

»With ... with me ...?« Claire said and Neil laughed once more.

»Of course with you. With whom else?« he said and Claire covered her face with her hands in shame of being so awkward.

»God, I suck at this,« she said and Neil took her hands in his gently pulling them away from her face.

»You're cutely awkward, I like it. Don't worry,« he said smiling and Claire smiled back at him thinking how he always knows how to calm her down and make her feel better about herself.

Neil took a deep breath and fixed his gaze on hers.

»I want kids. With you,« he said determinedly and caught himself holding his breath waiting for what she'll say.

There was a moment of silence, dead silence.

»I want kids with you too,« Claire quietly uttered breaking the silence, still worried about how the conversation will continue and she had a feeling her heart will jump out of her chest into Neil's lap.

Neil felt as if a huge rock was lifted from his chest. He was finally able to catch a breath. He smiled at her words trying to contain his excitement because he saw that she's still nervous and he had a feeling that there is more to come when it comes to the conversation they were having.

»But?« he asked her.

»I want to wait a little bit more,« she said waiting how he will react.

»I expected that,« he said calmly looking at her with a gentle smile.

»You did?« she asked feeling a little bit lighter after his calm reaction.

»Well, I know that we are in a great place right now, we know what we want but the fact is that we are at different stages when it comes to our profession. I assume you want to finish your residency in peace and get a permanent job,« Neil said and Claire nodded relieved that he again understands her as always.

They are going to be ok, she thought. They are going to be just fine.

»Yes. I do want to finish the residency first and I do want to know where my permanent job is gonna be before we have kids. I will feel more secure that way about everything. About my job and us having a family,« she said and Neil nodded thinking about her words and how good they sounded.

Them, having a family. 

»I understand that and I'm willing to wait for this … what, two years?« he asked hoping he won't spook her with a little bit of a more tangible plan.

»That sounds great,« Claire said smiling and Neil nodded smiling back and for a few seconds, they just stared at each other not saying anything.

»I guess we are on the same page now,« Neil said breaking the silence and Claire nodded and hold her whiskey up as if she wanted to make a toast.

Neil smiled and raised his whiskey as well and when the glasses gently slammed together they both felt like a huge rock was lifted from their chest.

»Ok, I don't need this whiskey anymore. I don't know how you can drink this,« Claire said suddenly finding the taste of whiskey, now, when she wasn't a nervous wreck anymore, too strong for her taste.

Neil laughed at her expression, the way she curled her lips disapprovingly at the strong taste of his favourite whiskey was priceless. 

»But Neil, you have to promise me something,« Claire said putting the glass down.

»Anything.«

»I want kids, I do. But I am scared of having them. You have to help me if I am going to struggle. I'm scared to not know how to be a good mom,« Claire said and Neil saw the worry in her eyes.

He put his glass down as well and scooted closer to her and again took both of her hands in his.

»We're in this together and you ... you are going to be an amazing mother. I know it. Deep down you know it too. But if you need me to promise … I promise. I promise that I will always be here helping you with anything that you'll need,« he said and Claire sighed.

»Thank you,« Claire said and leaned forward to kiss him.

»I can' tell you how happy I am that we talked about this,« Neil admitted.

»Me too,« Claire whispered back and suddenly leaned forward and straddled his lap.

»There is one more thing you need to promise me,« she said and Neil laughed.

»So many promises. What is this promise about?«

»That you will still love me and be crazy about me and give me all of the amazing sex I will want from you even though I'm going to be pregnant and fat,« she said and Neil laughed.

»I promise,« Neil said laughing.

»No, no laughing. Say it like you mean it,« Claire said and Neil concentrated to stay serious.

»I promise,« he said staying serious for about two seconds and then they both started to laugh.

»I love you,« Neil said when their laughs subsided.

»I love you too,« Claire said back taking his face in her hands giving him a kiss.

»We should go cook something,« Claire said her stomach rumbling.

»Let's order in. We can eat, spend a lazy afternoon cuddling, and then we can go out. What do you say to bowling?« Neil suggested and Claire smiled.

»Bowling? So you can make fun of me again?« Claire asked pretending she's offended.

»I won't make fun of you. I promise,« Neil said smiling.

»You know, sometimes I miss those times a little bit when we were just »platonic friends« and you were nice, not telling me I suck at bowling. Now, when you are my boyfriend you are painfully honest,« she said and Neil laughed.

»C'mon. It's gonna be fun. We didn't go bowling for ages. It will remind us of those times when we were falling in love without even knowing,« Neil said and Claire smiled.

»Ok, it's a date,« Claire said and Neil smiled looking at the woman that was straddling him her closeness making him feel like he's intoxicated.

»You are so going to lose,« Neil teased her.

»You're an ass,« Claire said laughing and squealed in surprise when he gave her a spank.

»Hey, save this for later when we come home,« Claire said laughing again catching his lips.

***

**Wednesday, 4.00 PM, Police station**

Morgan and Henry were sitting in Marco's office waiting for him.

»Henry, you didn't have to come here with me,« Morgan said looking at him.

»Stop saying this. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be, ok?«

»Morgan, Henry, sorry that you had to wait. What happened?« Marco asked entering the office together with Mike.

»I've got another note,« Morgan said giving the note to Marco that carefully took the piece of paper in surprise.

»When?« he asked.

»Yesterday.«

»Yesterday? Why didn't you call me?« Marco said and his gaze traveled from Morgan to Henry.

»Don't look at me. I told her to call you and she…«

»I'm here now. Yesterday, today, tomorrow … it doesn't make a difference. You didn't make any progress with the first note. Why would this time be any different?« Morgan said annoyed and Marco sighed and then looked at the second note.

There was silence in the room as Marco and Mike were reading the note. Mike caught Marco's gaze and Morgan could see they just probably had a conversation without even saying anything.

»What? What do these looks between you two mean?« she asked nervously.

»This note sounds … personal,« Marco said.

»We noticed that too,« Henry quickly said.

»He's talking about you making people suffer, ruining people's lives. It sounds like he wants to punish you. He's enjoying that you have trouble at work,« Marco said again looking at the note.

»The word _precious_ that he used to describe your career also shows that he knows your job means a lot to you. He wants to make you suffer where hurts the most,« Mike added and Marco nodded.

»So it's safe to say that I'm not a random target?« Morgan asked and as she started bouncing her leg without even realizing she felt a gentle touch of Henry's hand on her knee that gave her a little bit of comfort with her nerves all over the place.

»I think that after this note there is definitely a connection between you and the killer.«

»But I saw him and I don't know him. I have never seen him in my life before the night he attacked me,« Morgan said irritated.

»He wrote about you making people suffer, about you ruining lives. Did you hurt someone in the past? Did you ruin someone's life in any way?« Marco asked and Morgan shook her head.

She thought that she hurt Claire and Neil but they definitely didn't send a serial killer after her. Ruin someone's life? She cheated on her boyfriend in the past but she wouldn't say that she ruined his life. Plus, Adam wouldn't hurt a fly.

»I didn't do anything so someone would send a serial killer after me,« Morgan snapped at Marco and Mike that were staring at her waiting for her answer.

»Morgan, I know this is hard and that you are nervous and tired of everything but think about it. Is there anyone that you think of that would want to hurt you?« Marco asked and Morgan sighed, shaking her head.

»No,« Morgan said firmly again and started to get up from the chair and Henry looked up at her as she grabbed her purse.

»Morgan, where are you going?« he asked her.

»Home. I'm going home,« Morgan said looking at him already starting to turn to leave the office.

»Morgan, please sit down. We're still not done and…«

»We're done for today Marco. I'm tired. We will see each other when the third note arrives I guess,« Morgan said and just before she almost left the office Marco stopped her.

»Morgan, listen. I know it doesn't feel like it but we are closer,« Marco said.

»How?«

»Well, we know it's personal for him. This second note proves that. There is a connection between you and him. We just don't know yet what the connection is. Maybe he wants that you figure out who he is. He wants revenge so he probably wants you to know what his revenge is all about. When I asked you if you've hurt someone in the past … think about it. Think about every single person you crossed paths with in your personal life or at the hospital while doing your job that could want revenge. There is a connection, we just don't know what it is yet,« Marco said and Morgan sighed and without words left the office.

Henry quickly stood up, said goodbye to Marco and Mike, and started to leave the office as well.

»Henry, she's in denial. She thinks that if she pretends this is not happening that … well, that it is not happening but it does. The danger is real so you two should be careful,« Mike said to Henry that nodded quickly leaving the office going toward the parking lot where Morgan already sitting in his car waiting for him.

»I know it's a stupid question but … Are you ok?« Henry asked looking at Morgan that stared through the window.

»He's probably watching us right now, taking pictures, planning when he's going to kill me,« Morgan said and Henry could hear the paranoia in her voice.

»We will find out who this person is,« Henry said and Morgan looked at him thinking how sure he sounds.

»How can you be so sure about this?«

»I don't know. Somehow I just trust Marco. I think he's right about everything that he said. Someone wants revenge and I think that this person will make a mistake sooner or later because he will make it too personal. He will get caught up in his hate and he will slip,« Henry said.

»You sound like a shrink,« Morgan said and smiled.

»It's going to be fine.«

»Are you trying to convince me or yourself?« Morgan asked him and Henry noticed a small smile on her lips.

»Both of us, I guess,« he said seriously and Morgan nodded.

»Thank you. For trying to keep me positive.«

»It's going to be fine. You'll see …« Henry said and turned on the engine of the car.

When they came to Morgan's apartment Henry stopped at her entrance door not stepping in. Morgan turned around noticing he's not following.

»You want to come in?« Morgan asked carefully looking at him.

»Is that ok? I mean … can I be honest with you?« Henry said and Morgan got worried that he finally realized how much danger he finds himself in with being with her.

»Of course, you can be honest,« she said.

»Yesterday night, it was nice. I guess that … I just want to make sure that we are on the same page. That you feel the same. I … I wish that I wouldn't get attached to people so easily but I do. I'm more like a clingy woman in that department, I admit,« Henry said awkwardly and saw a smile forming on Morgan's face.

»I figured that out already,« Morgan teased him.

»I enjoyed our snuggling last night too and I'm looking to more snuggling if you're up for it,« Morgan said and saw how Henry's face lit up.

»Do you want me to stay tonight as well?« Henry asked hoping he's not overstepping but he really didn't want her to be alone.

»If you want that, then yes,« Morgan said desperately hoping he will stay with her because she didn't want to be alone.

The previous night was the first night since the attack that she slept through the whole night. She was sure that it was because of him. Henry was a calming presence making her feel safe.

»Ok then, I'll stay but I will take advantage of your surgical skills as well. I have some questions about Melendez's surgery today,« Henry said and Morgan nodded excitedly thankful that she will be able to distract herself with teaching Henry.

»I can help you with that. Now come in,« Morgan said back smiling.

They ended up discussing not just about Neil's surgery from today but also about a lot of other surgeries Morgan had performed. Henry was like a sponge trying to remember everything Morgan told him. Time was passing by and they didn't even realize when the day turned into night. After dinner, they were watching a movie in silence Henry's right hand wrapped around her shoulders and Morgan's head resting on his chest.

»I really look forward to the gala on Saturday,« Morgan suddenly said and Henry smiled.

»Me too,« he said back thinking that it's nice that she will be there by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Please let me know what you think about the chapter in the comment section. Your opinions are very important to me. 💖🤗  
> 


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